I needed to hear my mom’s advice so desperately I could taste my own confusion.
Should I quit? Will it ever really matter? What do I do?
I took a break from my writing, wondering if perhaps if I walked away from the project, it would just run away from me. Before she passed away, Mom made me promise her I would finish writing my book. Keeping the promise, however, seemed to suddenly have more obstacles than an Olympic hurdling course. Wasn’t this the meaning of the message?
Cleaning out the remains of my parent’s things in the house is always a readily available task constantly needing to be completed. The cellar has become my cathartic center for distraction, as I dig through the endless supply of items to be sorted. Keep, give away, throw away, or just hold for a future decision.
I wanted an immediate answer. It was so easy when I could just pick up the phone and ask her what to do. She always knew exactly what to say, in precisely the most loving way. I felt lost, alone, and I’d say a bit depressed without her. Mom was my very best friend.
As I continued my archeological dig through the boxes, I noticed a single card slipping through my grasp. “What is this?” I picked up the card, not remembering the moment or circumstance of its original intent, but my eyes were wide when I read the message.
“Deborah, finish your book. It’s going to help a lot of people. They’re waiting for you.” Love, Mom
Wow! It was as if she was right there speaking to me! I could hear her voice in my mind’s eye. Her handwriting so beautiful, so unique, so mom, it lit my spirit into flames of joy.
I needed an answer, a message of encouragement, a comfort to continue my quest for a purposeful future. Who could have anticipated my answer for today would appear in a card of yesterday. Mom’s love is alive and well, and her Hallmark card from heaven remains a fresh reminder that faith, hope, and love, never ever die.
Thank you God for the gift of my mom.
Deb Scott, The Sky is Green and the Grass is Blue: Turning your upside world right side up
Thanksgiving is a time to be grateful for all the gifts God has bestowed on us. May the spirit of Thanksgiving be with you all throughout the year and may you know how much you are loved and blessed.
I shared in my previous newsletter that I manifested my dream trip to Hawaii. I am excited as I imagine the magic and miracles that are coming my way. I know this is a gift from God and I am grateful and open to receive all that God has planned for me.
I would like to share another powerful “GodIncidence” regarding my trip to Hawaii. My new blog talk radio show “Finding the God of Your Understanding” is scheduled for November 15th at 8PM. www.blogtalkradio.com/Finding-the-God-of-Your-Understanding. The next scheduled show is November 29th @ 8p.m. Whoooo. I will be in Hawaii.
A couple of months ago, after my friend Deb Scott heard about my trip to Hawaii, she told me about Soul Dancer. She was a guest on his radio show and thought it would be fun for me to connect with him. Shortly afterwards, she made the introduction through email. Soul Dancer lives on the Big Island and is a published author and international speaker. I received an email from him inviting me to hop a plane over to the Big Island. He promised to take me on a lava walk, which sounded very inviting and fun. Then I had an “inspired idea” to ask him to be a guest on my radio show while in Hawaii. Here is the message I received from him.
“Yes – let’s connect and see what magic we’ll co-create ehh? I’m honored and delighted to share -e-waves (be on your show) on 11/29. We can broadcast the show from some yummy tropical space ehh?“
Not only did he agree to be a guest on my show, but he offered to video the show and put it on youtube. This just gets better and better and I can’t wait to share with you the miracles while in Hawaii. I have a feeling my trip to Hawaii is going to change my life forever and I am SO READY. I open my heart, soul and mind to all that God has planned.
Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, right? I didn’t always believe that, but I do now. I am learning to ask and trust I will be heard and loved. I am also learning to go to people that I know will be there for me (and not judge or shame me.) We all know those types. Many people have a difficult time asking for help and find it much easier to give help than to receive it. Do you have a difficult time asking for help? Have you ever thought about why that is? Perhaps you thought others would think less of you or you wouldn’t make a good impression if you really shared your struggle or pain. You may have told yourself that you didn’t want to bother someone with your problems and that you should be able to figure things out by yourself. And the list goes on and on.
The truth of the matter is that when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask for help, you change and you allow another the opportunity to serve and love you. Learning to ask for help is just as important as giving help to others. Maybe more important.
I recently experienced the power of asking for help. I took a big risk by being vulnerable and shared what was coming up for me. After years of working on myself and deep healing, I felt shame that I was still experiencing some lower energy of not feeling deserving. I am currently involved in an online bootcamp for Spiritual Entreprenurers. We are encouraged to use the discussion board each week and share what’s going on. I decided to be authentic and ask the group for help. Instead of feeling judged and wrong, I received love and understanding and comfort.
After I sent the email to the group, I called my friend Linda in tears and asked for help. She said, “come over to my house right now and I will do energy healing on you and make you dinner.” I was already in my pajamas and had no make-up on. I said, “Ok, I will be right there.” I grabbed a coat and put it over my pajamas and jumped in the car. This was big for me, going out in my pajamas and no make-up on! I never go out without make-up on (and pajamas on.)
As I drove to her house, I already started to feel better. I felt like I had taken off my mask and was allowing her to be with me and love me just as I am. How liberating it felt. Her love and care touched me deeply. I felt peaceful and re-energized when I left. I was back on track knowing the truth of who I am – that I am ONE with God and God is all there is. All is well.
It’s in the struggle that we get grow and get stronger. It’s in the struggle that we get to know ourselves and free ourselves to become the best we can be. It’s in the struggle that we learn to love ourselves, believe in ourselves and trust ourselves. Change is not easy, even when it’s good change and exciting. It‘s not a time to shame ourselves, blame ourselves, feel like a victim or beat up on ourselves when we are struggling with becoming our authentic selves. When we are struggling to set ourselves free and fly higher, it is crucial that we are gentle and loving toward ourselves. We must rest from the struggle when we need to and just be. I think about the butterfly that is trying to set itself free from the cocoon. It’s safe in the cocoon, and yet to become the butterfly it has to break free and breakthrough the protective shell.
How do we break free from our self-protective cocoon to fly and use our God given talents? When I allow myself to be honest and vulnerable with a trusted friend, I not only free myself, but I free them to share their vulnerability and their struggle. Something magical happens when I take the risk and share my struggles and deepest desires, I know I am not alone. I feel courageous, stronger and more determined to break free and fly when I share from my soul. We are all craving authenticity.
We decided to meet for coffee to get to know one another. Before meeting, I wondered what we would talk about and said a little prayer for our meeting. I wasn’t planning on sharing my struggle with her, but before I knew it, it was out of my mouth that I had been feeling anxious about what was happening in my life. I shared my fears and how I had always pushed myself to do more, be more. The tears started to roll down her cheeks-I knew what I said touched something in her own life. And then it flowed and it was like we had known each other for years. She was hungering for connections – that soul connection with another person. She said she usually is more protective and doesn’t open up so quickly. On some level we both knew we could trust each other and be honest and that we had created this meeting for our highest good.
I left our meeting feeling energized, loved, understood and grateful. Is it that easy-just be honest with another and share the struggle and be authentic? Is that the human need to be heard, to be vulnerable, to share our truth without being judged. We as woman, need soul sisters to move us forward to become the best we can be.
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