Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are.
Feelings are gifts and we need to take time to listen to them, to feel and express them.
Feelings are the gateway to who we are. They give us clues what to do next.
It’s our resistance to feelings that cause more problems than the feelings themselves. Feelings are part of being alive and resisting them means resisting life.
Feelings are energy, always in motion. Unstuck energy lives in the body when we resist our feelings.
They get stuck in the body and may appear as a lump in the throat, heaviness in the throat or tightness in the stomach.
Feelings live in our bodies and may come out as headaches, stomachaches, backaches and colitis if we don’t deal with them.
Repressed feelings tend to lodge in the body in the form of hidden tensions, unhealthy habits and stress-induced chemical changes.
When terminally ill cancer patients were able to express their feelings of guilt, rage and fear, they had less acute symptoms.
Feelings are meant to pass quickly, they are like clouds in the sky and it’s the nature of them to move on.
It’s important to embrace all of your feelings and not judge yourself or shame yourself.
If you feel afraid, talk about it and don’t pretend it’s not there. Rather than running from fear, you need to lean into it and welcome whatever feeling is coming up.
Writing in a journal is a good way to process your feelings and then let them go.
www. SimplyaWomanofFaith.com Pat@SimplyaWomanofFaith.com
I stepped out in faith 2 1/2 years ago and left my job (as an Alcohol and Drug Therapist) to follow my calling and live my passion as an Author, Spiritual Coach and Inspirational Speaker. It has been a journey of miracles, growth and a deepening trust in God as my Source.
I didn’t leave my job because I didn’t like working with alcoholics and drug addicts. God had prepared me for my life’s work by growing up with 2 alcoholic parents. My own healing and transformation enabled me to walk the journey with those in the throes of addiction and with family members affected by the disease.
Whenever people would ask me what kind of work I did, I would tell them I was an Alcohol and Drug Therapist. Most times, their faces dropped and they said, “Oh, that must be sooooooo hard.” I always smiled and said, “No, I love it.” It was an honor and privilege to help someone change their life and feel good about themselves.
I was invited back to the hospital where I worked to present Spirituality workshops for the employees and ran into a former client named James. He gave me a huge hug and shared that he had been sober for 10 years. He told me that it was his birthday on Sunday and seeing me was his birthday present. It touched my heart so deeply. As we departed, he turned and said, “I love you, Pat.” What a gift he gave to me.
I feel so fulfilled and blessed that God has allowed me to walk the journey with the people he brings into my life. I am blessed and my heart overflowis with joy. We never know how we touch others lives by our love and caring. I am so grateful that I had the courage to follow my heart and follow my passion. I am grateful for everything that has happened in my life for it has made me who I am today.
Whatever has happened to you in your life, God will heal you and use you to help others if you are willing. Are you willing to say YES to God and be God’s instrument in this world? Open your heart to receive more of God’s love and let God transform your life.
1. BE SPECIFIC: Be clear about what you want. God may be waiting for you to ask for what you want.
2. EXPECT AN ANSWER: God answers all prayers. It’s easier to hear and see God’s answers when you are expecting and trusting that you will hear from Him. Learn to go within for guidance and answers.
3. LISTEN CAREFULLY: God may answer you in a piece of music, a song, a book, another person. If you are busy running around, you may be missing God’s answered prayer.
4. BELIEVE: You must “see” your prayer answered on the inside before it manifests on the outside. Change your thinking and your life will change. Practice affirmations of a daily basis.
5. BE PATIENT: God’s timing is perfect. You must learn to wait for His perfect plan for your life. Trust the answers will come.
6. STAY GRATEFUL: Gratitude is the key to make things manifest quickly. Don’t focus on what’s missing, but focus on what you already have.
7. HAVE FAITH: Your prayers are being answered. Faith is believing when you can not see. Be open and receptive.
8. FORGIVE: Do a daily inventory, let go of resentments and judgements. Holding onto resentments blocks the energy flow and prevents or slows your ability to manifest your desires.
9. SHOW UP: Pray, meditate and visualize daily. When you “show up” God “shows up” and the “HOW” shows up in the perfect time and perfect way. Pay attention to your dreams. Journaling is a form of prayer.
10. INTERNAL HOUSE CLEANING: Be honest with yourself and ask yourself – What old thoughts and beliefs are blocking communication with God? Fasting or cleansing your diet will help detoxify your mind, body and spirit.
1. Concentrate on one task at a time. One day at a time. Just do the next right thing.
2. Focus on only things you can change (You.)
3. Take a walk or a break-away from everyone to get centered.
4. Take several deep breaths. Say a prayer. Let go and Let God.
5. Keep things in perspective. Most problems are not as big as they seem. Act as if “all is well.”
6. Acknowledge what is real, but do not fear possibilities.
7. Set boundaries. Say no. Detach. Do not take on other’s responsibilities.
8. Add humor to every day – laugh at yourself, movies, friends, TV, books.
9. Schedule regular time to be with yourself: sleep late, be with friends, go out to eat, PLAY.
10. Take care of yourself- Body, Mind and Spirit: eat well, sleep enough, exercise regularly, meditate, journal.
PROVEN STEPS TO DEAL WITH THE “NOT GOOD ENOUGH” VOICE
Be aware of it when it’s happening. Notice it as it plays in your head. Are you comparing yourself with others, wanting to be perfect or afraid of not being in control?
Stop in the name of God – Sing the song OUT LOUD to yourself.
Don’t shame yourself “I can’t believe this is happening again. What’s wrong with me, will I ever be over this?”
Be compassionate and loving toward yourself. Forgive yourself for old behaviors or negative thinking.
Admit it first to yourself, to God and to another person. Bringing it to the light erases the shame.
By acknowledging it, you break the 3 unspoken rules: don’t talk, don’t trust and don’t feel.
Be Grateful – for everything you have. Focus on what you have accomplished. Shift the energy of negativity by positive thinking.
Choose the truth of who you are. Choose peace, love, joy, trust, happiness, faith, abundance. I am one with God, God is all there is. Pray to heal the belief of separation.
Pray and meditate– rather than pushing, rushing, staying busy – embrace it and don’t run from it. Ask for God’s healing. Surrender and let go and let God.
Practice Affirmations “I am good enough, I am more than enough. I have enough money, power, love, grace, peace. I am successful and the best is yet to come. God is my source and God and I are one. God is leading me. God has a plan that will make all of my dreams come true. Within this new day, I find a release from every old thought pattern or behavior that no longer serves me. What I am seeking is seeking me. My day unfold in peace, ease and grace. I am free.”
Pat Hastings, Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach
Loving yourself is a process and a life long journey. I choose to love myself daily. Unfortunately, it wasn’t always like that and I had to learn to love myself. The truth be known, I hated myself and felt inadequate most of the time.
As the captain of the cheerleading squad at East Meadow High School in New York, I loved cheering for the football and basketball teams. I also “cheered for” my friends who often came to me with their problems. They knew I would listen and wouldn’t judge them. But what about me? Did I cheer for myself?
I hate to admit it, but I didn’t know how to cheer for myself. I looked outside of myself for others to approve of me and tell me I was okay. My self-esteem was like a yo-yo. If you liked me, I felt good about myself and if you didn’t like me, I didn’t feel good about myself. Instead of loving myself, I judged and beat up on myself. I didn’t know how to love myself and I didn’t have a “self”. I became a people pleaser and was loved starved. I wasn’t in touch with my feelings (especially anger), what I wanted or who I was. But, I looked good on the outside-like I had it all together.
About twenty five years ago, I learned about Codependency and it changed my life. I gradually learned to like myself and then to love myself. Codependency can be called “other-addiction.” Codependents have a long history of focusing their thoughts and behaviors on other people, often at the expense of themselves. They “people please” and will do almost anything to get the approval of others. People pleasers are full of anger because their needs are rarely met because they are so busy taking care of everyone else. They look very competent on the outside but on the inside they feel quite needy, inadequate, helpless, or perhaps nothing at all. They may have experienced abuse or emotional neglect as a child. They are outwardly focused on others, and know very little about how to direct their own life from their own sense of self. Sound familiar?
We cannot change until we are aware of our behaviors and what needs to be changed. I needed to change. I learned to stop beating up on myself and looking outside for my answers and self esteem. I began to affirm myself, “I like and approve of the person I am becoming.” I said it constantly and after awhile, I started to believe it. This was the beginning of self-love. Nobody can love you like you can love yourself. When you love yourself, you learn to love others. Love is the answer. The bible says “love your neighbor as yourself.” We often forget about loving ourselves first.
My journey has been one of self-discovery, self-love, self-confidence and self-trust. I started to say NO and stopped “shoulding” on myself. I put a sticky on my phone that said, “I will not should on myself.” At first, my children and family weren’t happy when I set boundaries and said no. They thought I was being selfish. I told them it was self-care! Today, I say no easily when I want to and so do my children. And the best part is – I don’t feel guilty and neither do they!
Loving myself means I stop acting like a victim, blaming and judging others. I take responsibility for my feelings, actions and behaviors. It means I forgive myself for years of not loving myself, beating up on myself and having to be perfect. Today, if I make a mistake, I quickly forgive myself and see what I can learn from it. If others do something that I don’t like, I choose to forgive and see the perfection in it – that I attracted it into my life for my highest good and healing. I believe everything happens for a reason and that it’s for my highest good.
MORE TIPS ON LOVING YOURSELF
1. STOP ALL CRITICISM– Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept and love yourself exactly as you are – knowing you are doing the best you can.
2. DON’T SCARE YOURSELF – Stop terrorizing yourself with your negative thoughts. Find a mental image that brings you pleasure and switch your scary thoughts to pleasurable thoughts. Remember the good things that have happened in the past.
3. SPEND TIME ALONE IN MEDITATION AND PRAYER- Plug into the Power within on a daily basis. Allow yourself to receive Divine Love and healing. Journal your feelings and focus on what you have, rather than what’s missing.
4. BE KIND TO YOUR MIND – Self hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Change your thinking and focus on the positive things in your life. Start a gratitude journal.
5. PRAISE YOURSELF – Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing. Stop looking for others to validate you. Be patient with yourself and treat yourself as you would your best friend. Look into your eyes often and tell yourself the truth of who you are as a child of God.
6. SUPPORT YOURSELF – Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. Asking for help and being vulnerable when you need it is sign of strength and courage. It gives others permission to ask for help when they need it.
7. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY – Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need to have optimum energy and vitality? Exercise. Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
8. ACCEPT YOUR GIFTS – Step into your greatness and magnificence. Stop hiding and let your light shine. Find your passion and live it. Live your dreams.
SEVEN MIRACULOUS TIPS WHEN FEAR GRIPS
1. SLOW DOWN AND BREATHE- PLUG INTO THE POWER WITHIN – MEDITATE, PRAY, JOURNAL
2. FEEL YOUR FEELINGS- NAME IT- TAME IT. DON’T JUDGE YOUR FEELINGS AS RIGHT OR WRONG
3. IDENTIFY LIMITING BELIEFS: USE AFFIRMATIONS TO CHANGE YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
4. REMEMBER WHAT GOD HAS DONE IN THE PAST & WHO YOU ARE AS A CHILD OF GOD. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT
5. BE GRATEFUL-FOCUS ON THE GOOD RATHER THAN WHAT’S MISSING IN YOUR LIFE. WRITE A GRATITUDE LIST
6. FORGIVE & LOVE YOURSELF, DON’T SHAME YOURSELF FOR YOUR FEARS, BE COMPASSIONATE WITH YOURSELF
7. SURRENDER: LET GO OF CONTOL & LET GOD
My husband and I are finally moving in the right direction financially, but we are really trying to be smart with our finances in order to “catch up.” My husband has driven a wreck of a car for the last 6 years because we just couldn’t afford a newer one. He’s been such a sport about it, to the point where he began to believe his car was fantastic! Suddenly, this week his car (which has had barely any trouble at all) was barely working.
Our original plan was to get him a new car at the end of summer or fall. I started thinking the time has come and we began the search, but he wasn’t able to find what he was looking for and he began getting disappointed. But he stayed faithful and pictured what he wanted in our driveway (what he wanted was way out of our price range.) I began getting concerned that now wasn’t the right time. Pat, I’ve heard you mention recently that you pray over what is concerning you so I put it into practice for myself. I prayed two consecutive days for God to point us in the right direction and show us the path that is right for us.
The next day exactly the car my husband was looking for came available and we negotiated a fantastic deal on it! He is picking it up tonight and he is so happy. He works SO hard so this is such a wonderful thing for him and for our family. I have spent all day today feeling so grateful. To most people, having two decent cars is just their necessity…to us it is such a luxury and we are over the top with excitement! Thank you for your inspiration to pray over my troubles.
Do you ever feel crazy with people telling you what you should do in your life, whether it be how to find your soul mate, how to make 6 figures in your business or how to lose weight? Just recently I listened to a Calling in the one soulmate seminar on the internet. One speaker said throw away your list of what you want in a mate and the next speaker said be very clear about what you want. One speaker said do the inner work and allow him to come to you, another said hire a dating coach and join Match.com. It certainly made me crazy and I felt overwhelmed at first. Thankfully, I had done my inner work and knew what I needed to do for me.
I have come to the conclusion, neither answer is right nor wrong. It’s what’s right for me. Instead of looking outside for someone to tell me what’s right or what to do with my life (and I did that most of my life) I have learned to go within and see what feels right for me. I ask myself the question – does it make me feel peaceful or stressful? How do we discern what is right for ourselves? Our feelings are not right or wrong and they are clues to what we need to do next. Our feelings are our gifts from God and come to give us messages.
You are invited to trust yourself and your intuition. I believe that your answers are within. If you have been looking outside for your answers, it takes practice and a conscious decision to go within. I teach people the importance to spend time with themselves in quiet meditation and prayer. By going within you get in touch with what you want and desire- and what you don’t want.
There are so many outside distractions and information coming in that it is easy to feel overwhelmed. I am learning the importance of setting boundaries for myself so that I live in peace. I am learning to say no when it doesn’t feel right. It is my responsibility to keep myself in peace and to continually check in when I’m feeling overwhelmed, especially when I need to make a decision. If I am feeling pressured to make a decision or if I am asked to make a decision that I am not ready to make, I am learning to give myself the time I need to gain clarity and discern what is best for me. I may even give myself the time not to decide, until it feels right. In this space of quiet, I can go within and ask God for direction and guidance. When it feels right and there is peace in my heart, I trust myself and move forward.
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