THE POWER OF PASSION IN BUSINESS

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May
4

What makes your heart sing?
Are you living your passion?
Do you know what it is?

* Passion is the fire that burns within your soul.

* It may start as a spark or a flame and eventually turns into a blazing fire that can consume you.

* Passion is an energy that infuses your life with meaning, joy, purpose and love.

* Living your passion takes commitment, determination, patience, fearlessness and courage.

* Passion is doing what you love and using your God-given gifts and talents for the good of all.

* Passion is an emotion that helps you go places others are afraid to go, to try things others are afraid to do.

* Passion creates the energy required to do what others think is impossible.

* Passion helps you work through your fear.

*Living your passion wakes you up in the middle of the night and creativity is flowing.

How do you find your true passion? Bill Strickland, author of Make the Impossible Possible offers some clues, writing: “Passions are irresistible.… If you’re paying attention to your life at all, the things you are passionate about won’t leave you alone. They’re the ideas, hopes, and possibilities your mind naturally gravitates to, the things you would focus your time and attention on for no other reason than that doing them feels right.” Strickland believes that only by following your passion will you unlock your deepest potential. “I never saw a meaningful life that wasn’t based on passion. And I never saw a life full of passion that wasn’t, in some important way, extraordinary.”

He goes on to say “When people can answer these three questions clearly and the answers intersect, they become passionate about what they do. Few things are professionally more fulfilling than doing work that you are extremely good at and turned-on about. It’s an incredible feeling when what you’re good at and excited about enables you to make a contribution that truly adds value to the business and its customers! Work ceases to be a vocation and becomes an avocation or a passion. The questions to ask yourself are:

1. What are my gifts and talents?
2. What am I passionate about?
3. What needs to be done?

Many people experience frustration and feel trapped because they are engaged in work that they may be good at but are not passionate about. They may be excited about something, but lack the skills for the job. Or they may need a degree or certification and they don’t have the time or the means to go back to school to obtain one.

Since work is so much a part of our lives, it is important for our well being that it is meaningful and fulfilling. One of the deepest needs of human existence is to know that our lives count for something and we are living our purpose.

We need to know that our God-given gifts and talents are being used to make a difference in the world. We need to know we are helping others and being of service to humankind. We are all searching for what gives our life meaning. Doing what we love often doesn’t feel like work because it is so fulfilling and rewarding. Being our authentic selves at work and being passionate about who we are and what we do can be a spiritual experience. It is a gift we give ourselves and the people we serve. We cannot be truly happy unless we are doing something we love. Following your passion is about doing something that you love and making it happen.

I feel blessed that I’m able to do what I love and had the guts to make it happen. It took courage to follow my heart and leave a secure job of 20 years. Having a daily spiritual practice enabled me to face my fears and believe in myself. I showed up daily and asked for help.

As a spiritual coach, it is my passion is to empower women to connect with the Spirit within and love themselves. When someone asked me what made my heart sing, I had to think about it for a minute. What makes my heart sing is public speaking. I love to speak and share my stories of God’s love and synchronicities that happen so often. I know my stories encourage people and give them inspiration and hope.

Living passionately has its challenges. My challenge has been to keep myself centered and peaceful because it is so easy to get out of balance. A balanced life is important and essential to my well being and spiritual life. When I am so focused on doing what I love and neglect important areas of my life, like exercise, eating right, having fun, spending time with family and friends, I am out of balance and lose focus.
I know I am out of balance when I feel stressed, tired, can’t sleep at night, my mind is like a blender and won’t shut off. Slowing down, breathing, taking a walk, a hot bath, meditating helps me get centered again. So it is possible to be passionate and peaceful at the same time. It takes awareness and a decision to stay connected to my spirit and to what is truly important.

6 TIPS TO LIVE IN PEACE AND LIVE YOUR PASSION
1. Show up: Develop a daily spiritual practice of prayer and meditation.
2. Ask for what you want – expect an answer. Visualize and believe.
3. Be grateful – An attitude of gratitude is the key to make things manifest and to live passionately.
4. Forgive yourself and others –Holding onto anger blocks the energy flow.
5. Have faith – that your life has meaning and you can live your passion.
6. Let go of control – trust the process and surrender to what is.

The Magic is Within

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Apr
16

Learn how to go inside because THE MAGIC IS WITHIN: Your answers, peace,  power, self love, self appreciation and self forgiveness are within.  Stop waiting for others to tell you how magnificent you are.  Believe it for yourself and about yourself.  Change your “not good enough voice”  and awaken to the potential and possibilities within.  You are the only one that can rescue yourself and hold the key to your abundance and happiness.  Self care is God care.  Self care is an acknowledgement of God’s divine presence in you.  Do you look outside for your answers? Do you give your power away by wanting approval from others?

In the midst of doors and opportunities coming my way, the “not good enough voice” reared its ugly head, like an unwanted, uninvited guest.  As I sat down to pray and meditate, I felt anxiety in the pit of m y stomach.  I knew feelings precede thoughts so like a detective, I went about searching for the thoughts that were creating anxiety.  I didn’t have to search far-they popped up quickly.

“You’re not doing good enough at marketing.  You need a marketing coach to tell you what to do.” The truth and reality is, I’m a fantastic marketer and many people have commented about how they see me all over the place. Music to the ear.

If I listen to the “not good enough voice” I lose my peace and feel afraid and anxious.  I stop trusting God is in control and there is a plan for my life.  I stop trusting that God is leading me and giving me everything I need in the perfect time and perfect way. 

When I’m rushing around and trying to make things happen, I’m coming from a place of fear. I may not be aware of the voice, but it is always lurking in the background.  When I slow down and meditate, I discover the voice that is at work.  In the midst of success, it tries to rob me of the truth of who I am as a magnificent child of God living my life in the presence of God.

The first step is to recognize the “not good enough voice” that’s been in my head for years.  Breathe into it and most importantly don’t beat up on myself.  I name it and tell it that it’s no longer wanted and needed.  The second step is to tell myself the truth and use affirmations.

I am good enough, I am more than enough. I have enough money, power, love, grace, peace.  

I am successful and the best is yet to come.

God is my source and God and I are one. 

I am perfect as I am and my cup runneth over.

God is leading me.  

God has a plan that will make all of my dreams come true. 

I am free.  

Within this new day, I find  release from every old thought pattern or behavior that no longer serves me.

Everything I need is streaming toward me, I open my hands and receive

Addictions & Spirituality

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Apr
16

Have you been affected by someone else’s drinking or drugging? Do you stay up at night worrying about someone you love?  Are you frustrated that your efforts of trying to control haven’t worked? 

What does Spirituality have to do with addiction?  It has everything to do with it. Addiction is a family disease that affects the person abusing as well as family members.  It is a Spiritual disease and the way to recover is through developing Spirituality. This disease has been likened to as having a “hole in the soul.”

Spirituality is the life of the spirit and an awareness of a presence sometimes alone in stillness and sometimes with others. It is a “connectedness” with self, others and a Power greater than yourself. That Power may be referred to as Higher Power, God, Source, Universe – whatever is comfortable for you.  It’s important to understand Spirituality is not religion. Unfortunately, many people have been turned off by organized religion and think Spirituality is religion. You can be religious and not spiritual and spiritual and not religious

When someone is actively drinking or drugging, they are disconnected from themselves, from others and from their Source. They are lonely, scared and confused. Often their lives are out of control and they’ve lost family members, jobs, homes due to their addiction. It is devastating for the person who is addicted as well as for family members. 

Family members often blame themselves, try to control their loved one and in the end lose themselves. Being involved with an addicted person for any length of time and trying to reason with them can be discouraging.  Children suffer because they think that if the parent really loved them, they would stop using.  Many have turned to  Al-anon and Al-ateen to cope with this devastating and life threatening disease. In Al-anon you learn the three C’s. You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it and you can’t cure it. 

The stress of living with someone who is addicted can have numerous effects:  

Physical:   You may develop health problems, such as headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia, upset stomach, colitis, or heart problems

Emotional: You may feel angry, resentful, irritable, lonely, guilty or depressed 

Social: In relating to others, you may be withdrawn, aloof, isolated, embarrassed, aggressive, or controlling 

Spiritual: Your outlook on life may become bitter, despairing, helpless, hopeless or lacking in faith 

As family members, we learn we can’t “fix” the addicted person. We need to allow addicts the dignity to recover at their own pace. Learning to detach with love is a skill that must be learned and practiced on a daily basis.

Detachment is regaining your identity and taking responsibility for your own life – and admitting you cannot control the life of another person. Detaching does not mean that you stop caring. It means that you stop trying to control someone else. You need to focus on yourself and make changes in you.

                                    Tips on how to develop Spirituality and live in peace

1. Detach and stop enabling – the chemically dependent person must be responsible for their behavior. You can no longer step in and pick up the pieces. It’s important to stop lying, making excuses and covering up for the person’s actions.
2. Accept – that changes you make may cause others to be angry and resentful. Expect that. Expect them to react to the healthy changes you are making.
3. Do not threaten – Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.
4. Focus on yourself and what you can change –  Discover what you like to do and what gives you pleasure. Do little things for yourself each day that you enjoy; going for a walk, listening to music, starting a hobby, going out to lunch with a friend.
5. “Show up” everyday and develop a spiritual practice of sitting down for 5 minutes and being quiet. Journal and meditating are wonderful tools to incorporate.
6. Identify your feelings and share them with someone you trust.
7. Practice an attitude of gratitude by focusing on what you do have, rather than what’s missing.
8. Have faith that you have everything you need and you are in the presence of a loving presence and you are not alone.
9. Change your thinking and your life will change.
10. Join a recovery group.
11. Work with a Spiritual Counselor/Coach 

                      
  What is Spiritual Counseling/Coaching and how it can help you

The purpose of spiritual counseling/coaching is to assist you in finding God in the midst of life events, and to prayerfully support you during life changes. It is designed to inspire and awaken you to all possibilities of spiritual growth in your life. It is to help you focus on the solution as your build your conscious awareness of God’s presence and activity in your life. Spiritual counseling/coaching will help you meet life’s challenges from a new consciousness of connection with God.

For more information about Spiritual Coaching contact Pat @ 401-521-6783 or Pat@SimplyaWomanofFaith.com

Feelings are a Gift From God

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Apr
16

We need to take time to listen to our feelings and not dismiss or avoid them.  We may avoid our feelings by staying busy, working, eating, drinking, gambling, shopping, or cleaning. It takes courage to be ourselves, to feel and express our feelings.  Feelings are the gateway to who we are.  They are there to help us know ourselves and know what we need to do next.  They give us clues if something is wrong, to help us protect ourselves and keep ourselves safe.  They are part of the human condition and we all have them.

It’s our resistance to feelings that cause more problems than the feelings themselves.  Feelings are part of being alive and resisting them means resisting life.  Feelings are energy, always in motion.  Unstuck energy lives in the body when we resist our feelings. They get stuck in the body and may appear as a lump in the throat, heaviness in the throat or tightness in the stomach.  Feelings live in our bodies and may come out as headaches, stomachaches, backaches and colitis if we don’t deal with them.    

Repressed feelings tend to lodge in the body in the form of hidden tensions, unhealthy habits and stress-induced chemical changes. Often, illness is an expression of feelings repressed. 

Feelings are meant to pass quickly, they are like clouds in the sky and it’s the nature of them to move on.  We cannot live in the moment and enjoy the present when our feelings are stuck inside, whether that be resentment, anger, fear, jealously or unforgiveness.  To move on, we need to allow our feelings to come to the surface in order to let go and heal. We need to learn to give thanks for the opportunities that life provides for the surfacing of our fears. 

Do you have a problem with judging your feelings and making them wrong? You might say to yourself “I shouldn’t feel this way, after all I have a good husband, home or I’m a Christian and shouldn’t feel fear because it means I’m not trusting God.”  Many of us have learned to control our feelings, to keep them hidden away, to stuff them and smile.  The message I received was “I will give you something to cry about.”  I felt ashamed when I cried or had any feelings at all. For many years, I was totally out of touch with my feelings, especially anger.  We are use to distancing ourselves from emotional pain and often cover our feelings with self judgement.  When we push away parts of ourselves, we fall deeper into isolation, feelings of unworthiness, self hatred and depression. We often beat up on ourselves and never feel good enough.

Depression is the classic disease of women. If we don’t express what we’re feeling -what’s bugging us in a constructive healing manner, very often the result is depression.  Depression is like a fog that settles over us, limiting our ability to see what we are really feeling. Often when we are depressed, there’s something we need to do and we are afraid to do it. Feeling depressed when we have had a loss is normal and healthy in the grieving process. Depression can be a sign we are hiding from something or avoiding action. Often it is hidden and inverted anger.     

Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. Messages from society are that feelings are bad or dangerous and we try to avoid them at any cost.  We need to accept and feel our feelings in order to move through them.  We need to embrace and honor our feelings.

My Dream Life

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Apr
16

What would it feel like if you were living your dream life and got paid for doing what you love? Visualize yourself living your passion and feeling grateful for the life you have created.  All because you said, “Yes.” 

When I said “Yes” to the universe, let go of fear, trusted myself and the divine plan for my life, a whole new world opened up to me. I am living my dream life as an Author, Inspirational Speaker and Spiritual Coach. Sharing my faith stories of everyday miracles allows others to see that it can happen for them.  A miracle could range from finding what I need at yard sales to saving someone’s life who was about to commit suicide.  My passion is to help people connect with the God Power within and find the divine purpose for their lives. Each day I open myself up to new possibilities and allow miracles to find me. 

It wasn’t always like that.  I thought I had to control and make things happen. I didn’t know how to relax and allow things to come to me. That changed as I learned to let go, surrender and accept what is. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t change the feelings of not being good enough and deserving.  I needed to ask a Power greater than myself to heal and change me. I love “being in the flow” and not having to control everything in my life. 

Stepping into my power and living my dream life meant that I had to change the negative messages that plagued me all of my life. I had a choice to either live in faith or fear. I chose faith.  Plugging into the God Power within on a daily basis through prayer and meditation helped me take responsibility for myself. When I don’t plug in, it’s easy to forget who I am as a child of God and the abundance that is rightfully mine. 

In October 2008, I took a leap in faith and left my secure “good paying job” to start my own business doing what I love to do.  My son said to me after I gave my notice, “Mom, this is the worst time for you to leave your job with this economy.”  Smiling, I said, “I know, but that’s what God wants me to do.”  I prayed for a year for God’s will and through a series of synchronistic events, it became clear this was God’s plan for my life. 

Shortly after I gave my notice, I had what I call a “fear attack” and all the “what ifs”, doubts and insecurities came rushing into my consciousness. Fear gripped me in the pit of my stomach and almost paralyzed me. Thankfully, I knew what to do when fear gripped and I pulled out all the tools that I learned over the years. 

I’m grateful for the doors that have opened up since I left my job and started my business. I’ve been on TV twice and have had several interesting radio interviews. I’m excited to be leading a women’s retreat in Bermuda which has been a dream for 4 years. My spiritual coaching practice is growing and it seems like opportunities are coming my way as I have been invited to speak at conferences, a women’s club, a university, and as one of the speakers for the Inspiring Women Speaker Series. I have started a special program at the VA Hospital called “Tending To Your Spirit” for women employees and veterans. 

Saying “Yes” to God’s divine plan takes courage and faith. It takes believing in yourself and an expectant faith that what you need will show up when you need it. I am grateful each day for the gift of life and the opportunities and miracles that are finding me. I am a woman giving birth to myself.

Find Yourself, Know Yourself and Be Yourself

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Apr
16

Do you wish your relationships were more fulfilling?

Do you find yourself resenting all you do for others?

Finding myself and what I wanted has been a journey. Learning to love, trust and value myself has brought me to places I never imagined.  I went back to college at age 40, asked my husband for a divorce at ago 50, wrote my book, Simply a Woman of Faith at age 60 and left my full time job as an Alcohol and Drug therapist of 20 years to step out in faith and start my own business as an author, inspirational speaker, spiritual coach and radio talk show host.

Being the oldest in my family, I took on the role of being overly responsible and a people pleaser. I had no idea of who I was or what I felt.  As I took the inward journey through therapy, prayer and meditation, I uncovered layers of low self esteem, unworthiness, inadequacy, fear and not feeling good enough.

Many women lose themselves in their various roles and have no idea who they are or what they want. They are someone’s wife, mother, friend, daughter or employee, but don’t have their own identity. They often give their power away by focusing on what others want at the expense of themselves. They can feel resentful because their needs aren’t met. They are not in touch with their feelings because they have medicated them through eating, alcohol, drugs, workaholism, staying busy, rushing, shopping and approval addiction.

Shore up your courage and slow down. It’s time to go within to find yourself and explore what‘s important—what makes you happy and fulfilled.  It can feel scary at first: you don’t know what you’ll find or what will be asked of you. You may choose to take a stand and leave an unhealthy relationship or job that is no longer working and hindering your progress. When you take a risk and follow your heart, you live your authentic life with unlimited potential and possibilities.

Developing my Spirituality and finding a Power greater than myself to heal and transform me was crucial to becoming authentic. Spirituality means “connectedness.”  I connect with myself, with a Power greater than myself and I connect with others. I needed to learn to trust that Power (whom I call God, but you may call nature, love, source, universe, goddess or something else) before I could trust myself and others with my true self.  I needed to know that I was loved unconditionally and I didn’t have to do anything to earn that love. I was loved just because of who I was.

Prayer helped me feel safe enough to take off the mask and be myself.  Facing and moving through my fear is a constant in my life. Whenever we are called to a higher level of consciousness and living our potential, our fears rise to the surface. We must do vengeance with our fears to live the authentic life. Fear is the thief of dreams.

I invite you to find a spiritual practice to “plug in” to this higher consciousness daily. It will help you feel loved and connected to Spirit and the core of who you are. It will help you joyfully discover your authentic self. 

Ten Tips to Becoming Your Authentic Self 

1. Show up everyday for yourself, for Spirit, and the world by sharing your gifts and talents for the good of all. Embrace that you are a child of God, one with Spirit and are loved unconditionally. 
2. Stay focused on what you want to create in your life by staying in the moment , letting go of the past and concerns for the future.
3. Speak up, say no and set a boundary, when necessary.
4. Stay grateful and focus on what’s working, rather than what’s missing in your life.
5. Ask for what you want and believe that you have already received it.
6. Believe in yourself, love yourself, trust yourself, cherish yourself and forgive yourself.
7. Face your fears and take a risk to follow your heart’s desires and intuition.
8. Have courage and be honest about what you feel and think.
9. Step into your greatness and magnificence knowing you are worthy of abundance and prosperity.
10. Surrender: let go of control and the outcome.

Written for  Aspire Magazine

There is More Joy in Giving Than Receiving

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Apr
16

My cat, JOY snuggled up next to me in my bed as I settled down to take a mid-afternoon nap. I felt joy in my heart.  Joy is a deep feeling of contentment within and it is at the core of everyone. It is the peaceful and serene center of Being from which we create every moment as a celebration of love, harmony and fulfillment.

When I am in the present moment, I feel joy – a carefree feeling and knowingness that all is well on the spiritual level. It is difficult to be in the present moment when my mind jumps to the future or the past, therefore missing the joy that it holds. When I am centered in the moment, I am grateful, calm, peaceful  and protected.

There are so many things that bring me joy; holding a newborn baby, watching children play, planting flowers in my garden, dancing, sitting at the ocean watching the waves go in and out, spending time with family and friends, helping someone in need, being loved unconditionally, taking time for prayer and meditation. 

How do we lose our joy or give it away? It is a choice. We are responsible for our own happiness and joy. We lose our joy when we:

• Compare ourselves to others
• Complain and blame others for our problems
• Beat up on ourselves and don’t feel good enough
• Do not trust a power greater than ourselves to help us
• See ourselves as victims and have a “poor me” mentality
• Hold onto resentment and are unable to forgive ourselves or others
• Believe there is lack and scarcity
• Obsess and worry about the future or the past
• Try to please everyone at the expense of ourselves
• Focus on what’s missing rather than be grateful now 

Where does joy come from? I believe it comes from within. When we are connected to our Source, the God within, we experience joy. When we are connected to others, serving others, we experience joy. When we give, without any expectations in return we experience joy.

Most recently, I experienced joy when I “got out of my own way” and reached out to another who was in need.  My two sons and grandchildren live out of state. My parents are both deceased and I don’t have any siblings or family in the area. I felt lonely and felt sorry for myself on Easter Sunday. As I was driving home from my friend Carol’s house, I decided to buy a plant for a woman in a nursing home that I had just met at Christmas. Mary told me that she was all alone and didn’t have any friends or relatives in the area. She had a stroke a year ago that paralyzed her and she couldn’t walk anymore.

This is a taken from a chapter in Simply a Woman of Faith

Addiction: Deficit of the Spirit

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Jan
31

Addiction is a family disease that affects the person abusing as well as family members. Often likened to having “a hole in the soul,” it is a spiritual deprivation that requires the development of an inner spirituality for full recovery.

Spirituality is a connectedness with self, others and a greater power, referred to sometimes as God, or higher power, Source or Universe. Spirituality may be practiced through organized religion or not.

Those who are addicted are disconnected from themselves, from others and from

their Source. They are lonely, scared and confused. Often their lives are out of control and they’ve lost family members, jobs or homes due to their addiction.

The stress of living with someone who is addicted can have numerous effects. Physical problems such as headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia, colitis or heart disease. Emotional problems include anger, irritability, loneliness, guilt, resentment and depression. A person may find themselves withdrawn, isolated, embarrassed, aggressive and controlling. Hopelessness and lack of faith may also befall a person living with an addict.

Spiritual coaching can help both the addict and those living with one. The goal is to support the movement from a place of dis-ease to a place of happiness and peace. All problems are spiritual problems in the sense that they arise when we feel disconnected from the Source of our being. Spiritual coaching supports a movement from an experience of disconnect to one of deep connection. The effects of coaching is to experience more peace and joy, a deepening of relationships, a stronger connection to God and others, finding true purpose and being present in a way that reflects inner love.

Pat Hastings is a licensed Chemical Dependency Professional with more than 20 years of experience. She is a spiritual coach, retreat and workshop leader and inspirational speaker. She is author of the book “Simply a Woman of Faith,” and the recently released CD: “How to Pray and Get Results: 10 Tips to Have Your Prayers Answered.” Contact her at  or call 401-521-6783.

Conscious Detachment

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Jan
31

Do you want peace in your life? Do you want to feel respected and loved? Learning Conscious Detachment can dramatically improve your relationships with your loved ones so they will also feel respected and loved.

What is Conscious Detachment? It’s emotionally separating from a person.  It’s the freedom to own what’s yours and allow other’s to own what’s theirs. When we detach, we let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights, lives guided by a power greater than ourselves.

There are behaviors that can give us clues that we need to detach which

include, but are not limited to; obsessing about another person, feeling like a victim, making excuses for another person, worrying, depression, not sleeping, overeating, blaming others, nagging, trying to manipulate, feeling out of control, feelings of urgency that we need to do something or fix someone, feeling guilty that it’s our fault.

Detachment is difficult because of our need to control. We may fear that if we let go of control, something bad will happen. Control is an illusion. We may not trust that the person we need to detach from will  make the right decision on their own and that they need our advice. People are often unaware that they have a need to control and are surprised when someone tells them that they are controlling.

Refusing to feel is a sign that we may be controlling. Controlling behavior requires denying, ignoring our own needs and feeling resentful when our needs are not met. When we try to control others and that includes adult children, we don’t give them choices and that’s not loving or respectful.

Examples of controlling behavior may be quiet anger, disapproval, being nice, silence, apologizing, guilt, reminders, suggestions, lectures, complaining, pouting, being hurt and refusing to ask for what we need.

CONSCIOUS DETACHMENT IS A CHOICE

It’s getting the focus off changing another person no matter how much we love them. We begin to focus on ourselves and what needs to be changed in us. This is where the power is. It’s getting the focus off the past – what we’ve done, not done, what someone has done to us or not done.

It’s not focusing on the future with all the “what if’s.” It’s allowing ourselves to feel our feelings, letting them go, being in the present moment and trusting in a power greater than ourselves.

Taken from Ivanla Vanzant’s book “Tapping the Power Within”

Detachment is:

• We care, but don’t intrude.
• We honor people and their process even if it looks dysfunctional to us.
• We allow people to learn, grow and unfold at their own pace.
• We trust and respect people enough to let them live their own lives.
• We hold no expectation or judgements about what their process looks like or how long it will take.
• We ask them what direction they are choosing for themselves.
• We trust that divine order will guide them.
• We remember how our learning, growing healing process must have looked to others and we offer compassion that we didn’t  receive.
• We trust that people can make it on their own.

 
DETACHING WITH LOVE IS A PROCESS

• Get honest with our feelings
• Talk to people we trust and understand us
• Get in touch with Higher Power, ask for help and pray
• Dump all anger and resentment

 
The first step in detaching with love is to begin taking responsibility for our own behavior.  This means that we can no longer blame our loved ones for the way we feel. No one makes us feel anything. It’s our reaction to the behavior that causes us pain, anger, resentment and disappointment. We lose ourselves when we become so involved in another’s behavior. Regaining our self-respect and self-esteem is a big benefit of detaching with love.
 
The next step in detaching with love is acceptance. Acceptance is the
key. Acceptance doesn’t mean that we necessarily feel ok about
current or past situations. It means that we stop trying to change
what we have no power over.  Acceptance brings PEACE. Acceptance
is letting go of control and accepting what is.

In the Hallway – Mastering Your Fears

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Jan
31

How many of you have been in the hallway “when one door is closing or has closed and the other door hasn’t opened up yet?”  Sometimes the door is closed through no fault of your own –you lose a job, a relationship ends, a loved one dies.  Sometimes, you choose to close the door yourself because you want something different  – to feel more alive and fulfilled.  Either way, it’s not always a fun place to be and can be very scary.

Being in the hallway can be a place where your faith muscles grow – if you let them.  It can be a place where you learn patience and

trust, especially when it looks like nothing is happening.  Many of us struggle and complain and bang on the door begging God to open the new door NOW.  We try to bargain with God – I will do this God if you please give me what I desire and need.

You may feel so scared that you think about going back and opening the old door if you could, even though you know in your heart it’s not the right thing to do and you don’t want to do it.  Or you can surrender and wait patiently; knowing God is in control and has your good in mind.  When you surrender and accept “what is”, you will have peace.

I struggle with “being in the hallway” because I can’t see what the next opportunity or open door will look like. Yes, I visualize and see it in my mind what I want it to look like. But there are no guarantees. Here’s where practicing faith comes in.  Often when the new door is opened, it’s better than we could have

ever imagined.

Like most of us, I like to be in control and know exactly what’s going on around me. I’m learning to “let go and let God” when I’m in the hallway. I practice “acting as if” everything is ok and I’m exactly where I need to be, trusting in God’s divine plan and timing.

I just came out of the hallway and a new door has opened for me.  For the past year, I prayed about leaving my job of 20 years

as a therapist to go full time working for God.  As the author of Simply a Woman of Faith, I wanted to promote and market my book, as well as lead retreats and give inspirational talks.

During the discernment period, God gave me many signs that I was on the right path and following His calling. In my heart and soul, I knew it was God’s plan and that He would provide.  I told myself “God is my employer and the benefits will be heavenly.”  Even though I knew I was on the right path, I still had fear.

Shortly after I gave my notice at work, I had what I call a “Fear Attack.”  I felt overwhelmed and doubted if I made the right decision.  All the “what if’s” and negative thinking came crashing down on me, like a giant wave.  I said things like “You have to be crazy leaving your job when people are losing jobs left and right and the economy is at its worst.  At your age, you’ll never find a good job like the one you have now. It’s not too late to tell your boss you changed your mind.”

I knew I was in trouble and had to pray and change my thinking.  When I come into the presence of God and Spirit, I change.  Prayer changes me on the inside.

I allowed myself to feel my fear and then told myself the truth – “I am a divine and powerful spiritual being and am one with God.  I will no longer be ruled by my fears.  Fear is useless, what is needed is trust. Ultimately it is up to me to save myself from fear; nobody could do it for me.”

Developing faith muscles takes commitment and discipline.  It is not the absence of fear. It’s facing the fear and doing it anyway.  As we get closer to manifesting our dreams into reality and the bigger the dream, the old beliefs and feelings will often surface. At these times, it’s important to pray, meditate, visualize, journal and come back to the truth. God is your source and when you step out in faith, doors and opportunities will open up wide.

Mastering your fears, doubts and anxieties is surely the highest task that is given to you in this life time. If you can master your fear, you can go forth into the world and help others to master their fear.

Overcoming your fears requires work, discipline and faith. Faith will give you the ability to believe in something that has no proof and in turn will help you create something seemingly impossible. Without faith, you cannot believe and without belief you cannot create.