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I crashed after the wedding

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Jun
23

I have to admit I am a recovering “RUSHAHOLIC, BUSYAHOLIC AND DOAHOLIC.” I have to be honest and admit I had a RELAPSE. I felt irritable, restless, tired and nothing seemed to satisfy me. I had lost my peace and didn’t know how, why or what to do about it, at first.

These are old behaviors that no longer serve me or make me feel good about myself. For much of my life, when I was doing, achieving, pleasing others and trying to make things happen in my life, I felt a sense of control and power. Today, I know these behaviors will make me sick. When I had a to-do list and crossed things off, I felt worthy of love. I enjoyed being busy because I felt like I was valuable when I was achieving and accomplishing so much. Have you ever felt like this?

Some of the signs of a DOAHOLIC are that you fill your calendar with things to do and tasks to complete. Your “free time” must be used effectively or you feel guilty or selfish. You are unable to RELAX and do nothing. With any addiction, it is because we try to avoid our feelings rather than go within and deal with them. I stayed busy because I didn’t want to feel the pain inside of me such as unworthiness, inadequacy, fear, shame and not being good enough.

I know today that these behaviors are ego-generated and fear based and not the truth of who I am or what God wants for me in my life. You may not be a DOAHOLIC, BUSYAHOLIC OR RUSHAHOLIC. You may suffer from being a FOODAHOLIC, WORKAHOLIC, ALCOHOLIC, GAMBLAHOLIC, or SHOPAHOLIC. The list is endless.

Unfortunately, this “pattern of energy” of always having to do more, look good and be more left me exhausted and unfulfilled because I never felt like I was doing enough. Can you relate?

My life is different today. Instead of pushing, achieving and making things happen, I am learning to allow and surrender to the Love within me to guide me. I am practicing “living in the moment” and letting go of worry and fear. I know that Love is all there is and everything else is just a dream. Today I proclaim to be a “PEACEAHOLIC.”

Peace is very important to me and my daily prayer and intention is to be peaceful, to love and to serve. I don’t like it when I lose my peace and I am restless or irritable, especially with Larry. I want to fix it and change it and I have a difficult time “accepting what is.”

As I said, I had a relapse to old behaviors of BUSYNESS AND DOING. I prayed and asked God for help. Here is what happened this week:

I felt tired, restless and irritable and couldn’t figure out why. I felt some guilt and shame because I thought I SHOULD be blissful and happy because we were just married and my dream had come true. At first, I felt embarrassed and didn’t want to admit it or talk about it.

I decided to Google “after wedding crash.” Sure enough, there were many articles to read and this was very REAL After the high and excitement of the wedding, all of the energy put out with planning, decision making and the attention I received, of course, there would be a crash and a feeling of “Now what.” I missed the DOING and excitement of the high! It felt just like the addict who puts the needle in his arm to get a high. I then realized I was in withdrawal.

The first step for me was asking for help from Spirit. The second step was admitting that I had relapsed to old behaviors and that I had these feelings. The third step was to be honest and share them with Larry. Of course, Larry was so loving, understanding and compassionate. He encouraged me to rest and relax and not do anything to push myself. I listened and spent the day resting, relaxing and loving myself. It is amazing how quickly I moved through it and am back to the truth of who I am as a Divine being. I am valuable and lovable and don’t need to prove myself or achieve anything to be loved.

It is easy to relapse to old behaviors or addictions, whether it be to food, doing, alcohol or shopping. The important thing is to not beat up on ourselves and stay there. We need to be loving, compassionate and forgiving toward ourselves.

I had lost my peace and recognized something was off and I didn’t feel in my center. I want balance and peace in my life. Because I am vigilant and “go within” for my answers in daily prayer and meditation, this only lasted for a couple of days. I am grateful to Spirit for the love in my life and the vessel of love I am being called to be in the world.

Listening to the small, still voice of God within

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Jun
15

My friend, Diane, and I went to lunch yesterday to discuss my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” I had given her my book a year ago and she promised to read it, even though she said she wasn’t a reader. We agreed to get together when she finished it to discuss the book and answer any questions she had.

After catching up with one another over lunch, we began to talk about the book. She asked, “Pat, I want to know how you know it’s the voice of God speaking to you and not just your own voice or the ego or your higher self.”

People often ask me this question and I answered, “I don’t always know for sure, but I have learned to trust Spirit and the voice of God within. Every time I listen and do what I am hearing from the big things to the smallest of things, it confirms that it was the voice of God when I experience the results. It takes practice and the more I practice, the more I trust the voice within, which is God. I practice listening and going within all day long whether it be asking for guidance or what to do next.

Diane asked me, “Pat, what is the highlight of the book for you.” I answered, “This happened over 20 years ago and I will never forget it. It was when I heard Spirit tell me to walk up to a woman on the beach in Newport, R.I. and tell her that God loved her. I trembled inside and felt really scared to walk up to her, even though earlier that day, I had asked God to lead me to someone who really needed to feel His love. After I told her that God loved her, she put her hands in her face and sobbed for a long time. Of course, I didn’t know it at the time but right before I walked over to her, she was contemplating suicide and really needed to hear that she was loved and not alone.” Diane and I had a lovely lunch discussing the importance of listening and stepping out in faith.

When I took my walk this morning on the beach, I thought about my conversation with Diane the day before. It had been a long time since I had such a dramatic message like I had that day and I wanted to be open to be a vessel of love and be God’s instrument.

I asked Spirit to lead me to someone to give them a message. I sensed it would be a woman walking on the beach alone. I went within to listen to Spirit and this is what I heard, “I will lead you and you will know in your heart who she is when you see her. She has been asking for guidance concerning a project or something new in her life and she’s not sure it is my will. Tell her to step out in faith, that it is my will that she has been asking guidance for.”

I asked Spirit to lead me as each woman walked toward me on the beach. I asked, “Is she the one I am to give this message to?” I kept hearing, “No, no, no.” I was beginning to wonder if I had really heard the voice of God in the first place. I was kind of relieved because I didn’t want to look foolish and go up to someone and have them think I was crazy.

I then spotted her from a distance as she walked toward me. We had smiled at one another when we past each other earlier on the walk. I heard the small, still voice of God say, “She is the one.” Before I had time to chicken out, she was in front of me. I stopped and introduced myself to her, which is common in Maui because everyone is friendly and pleasant. We chatted for a few minutes and she told me she was also from New York. After some small talk, I blurted out the message that I had received for her. She appeared touched and put her hand on her heart and said, “I pray all day and I hold this in my heart and will meditate about it today when I go home. Thank you so much.”

As we continued to chat with one another, I asked her what she did for work and she said, “I am a personal trainer/wellness coach in several gyms on Maui and am working with the county to develop free programs for seniors. Now I was interested! She told me about a new program that she is starting in August where my yoga classes are held every Monday. I gave her my card and she promised to call me with the information about the new program.

It is my belief that nothing happens by mistake and we are always being led. When we learn to trust the voice within, doors open and miracles happen. God is good.

Our new adventure as a married couple

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Jun
5

Over the years several people have commented to me that I need to do a sequel to “Simply a Woman of Faith.” My friend, Joseph, (who has known me since I moved to Maui and knew that the desire of my heart was to meet my soul mate), recently said to Larry and I, “You have to write a book together, your story is like a modern day fairy tale.”

Since our marriage, I have heard this from several others and am beginning to believe it is God’s will for us. Friends are sharing with me that our relationship is a model for them in what they want and they know is attainable because of what they witness in our love relationship.

Writing a blog every week is different from writing a book together. Of course, some of the material we have written about this past year and our relationship would go into the book. Writing a book takes commitment, time, money and energy. The easier part, if you will, is writing it. The hard part is getting it out there for people to read and that includes marketing and book tours and giving talks.

I had to ask myself, “Do I have the energy for it and do I really want to do this?” I like my life the way it is and doing what I want when I want to. I was definitely in resistance and didn’t want to do it. I met with my friend, Margie, author of “One With God” a few days before we were married and she said she had a message from the Holy Spirit and that we were to write a book together.

If Spirit was speaking to me and I thought He was, Larry had to be on board with writing a book together. I did not want to write alone and I would not nag Larry to do it. He had to also know that it was God’s will for his life and this was a joint effort.

One day last week I wrote in my journal, “I am willing to write a book together because I think it is your will, but I need a sign. I don’t know how or what will happen. All I know is that I am willing and open. I need you to work in Larry’s heart and let him know it is your will.”

After I wrote this, I asked Holy Spirit for a message: “Watch and wait and be patient. I will speak to Larry’s heart.” The very next day, while we were having coffee, I shared an email with Larry that I had received that morning. It was from a friend from Unity Church. She sent a video of a TV show she had interviewed me on 6 years ago when I visited Maui for 1 month. I had no idea why she would send it to me now.

Larry had not seen the interview, so we decided to watch it together. In the TV interview I share why it took me 6 years to write my book. I had all kinds of excuses like: I don’t believe in myself, nobody would read it, I don’t have the time or money, I don’t know how to market and on and on.

As we sat and watched it together, I realized I had the same excuses today about writing a book that I had when I wrote “Simply a Woman of Faith” 8 years ago. Larry had the same excuses as I had and we

looked at one another and wondered if this was a sign from Spirit.

After we finished watching the TV show, I said, “Why did she send it to me now?” I emailed my friend and asked her why she sent it to me today? She wrote back and said, “Jason and I were looking at past TV shows and your name came up so we started to talk about you. I felt STRONGLY and so did Jason that we were to send it to you today.”

I am grateful that they listened to their inner voice and sent it to us when they did. Of course, they had no idea that we were considering writing a book together and that I had asked for a sign the day before. God does answer prayer and gives us what we need when we ask.

What worked for me in the past to finish my book was to make a commitment and be accountable to someone each week that I would work on the book. I prayed and asked Spirit who I was to be accountable to. That night I met with my friend, Kerri, and I shared what was going on with the book. She shared she had a project that she was working on and also felt drawn to be accountable to someone. We did a hand shake and agreed to be accountable to one another. Every Sunday, we will email or text that we did what we said we would do.

It truly is one day at a time and I am trusting that we are being guided every step of the way. We will be provided for and people will show up to help us. God has a plan and all we have to do is be willing and say “yes” to that plan. More than anything, I want to be aligned with God’s will in my life. If that means writing another book together, I say SO IT IS and I trust it will flow with peace, ease and grace.

Is there an area in your life where you are being called to be accountable so you can be in alignment with God’s will for your life?

My distress over my wedding dress

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Jun
5

This may appear like a trivial blog, but I think it has some deep significance in living my life to the fullest and not being attached to “anything.” If I want to live in peace, there are some things I must practice daily. Have you ever had a piece of clothing that you absolutely loved and felt terrific and beautiful wearing it? I am sure all of us had this experience at one time or another. It may have wonderful memories attached to it and you hate to part with it, even when it doesn’t fit you anymore.

Well, I felt this way about my wedding dress. I couldn’t wait to wear it on our wedding day. It was the first dress I tried on and I fell in love with it. I loved everything about it, especially the way it flowed when I twirled around and danced with Larry at our reception. When I put my flowered haku and lei on I felt like a Goddess and like I was royalty.

Larry and I are planning a trip to Rhode Island in July to celebrate our marriage with family and friends. I am looking forward to my son, Tim, performing a special wedding ceremony for us. We are looking forward to this special time with everyone. Of course, we both planned on wearing our wedding garments.

A few days after the wedding, I looked at my dress hanging in the closet and noticed some stains on the front of the dress. They weren’t real obvious but I could certainly see them and didn’t want to wear the dress with stains on it. I decided to wash the dress and tried everything from Spray and Wash, Mr. Muscle and even googled tough stains and used baking soda for 3 hours, but to no avail.

Here is what happened: I was given a beautiful Jade lei by some friends at our wedding. I didn’t know that the oil from the lei would stain my beautiful white dress. I was bummed out, to say the least, and had a difficult time letting it go. I felt sad and disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to wear the dress that I loved so much again to our wedding reception in Rhodes Island. I took it to the cleaners today and trying to be positive that the stains can be removed and that I can wear it to the celebration in Rhode Island. If not, I trust there is a better plan and will wait to see what Spirit provides.

It seemed ridiculous that I had a hard time letting it go and shifting my perception when there were serious things going on in the world that were much more significant than a stained dress. I asked Holy Spirit what its message was:.

“It is just a dress. Do not be attached to it or to ANYTHING because it is all fleeting and not real. Love is all that is real. It is only your outer garment. What is inside is what is important and that is what is real and lasting. You must ask me for help to shift this and accept “what is.” Can I not provide something more beautiful for you that you will equally enjoy when you trust me?”

After I prayed and asked for help to let it go, I felt better inside. I am trusting that God will provide and something even better will show up if the dry cleaners are unable to remove the stains. Perhaps I was just to wear this dress for our sacred ceremony as a reminder of God’s perfect pure love. I have beautiful pictures and memories that will last in my heart forever.

It is my belief that EVERYTHING is planned in the mind of God and everything is in perfect and divine order, especially when I am disappointed and don’t understand why things happen the way they

do. For me, it is always about trusting more deeply that all is well and being handled by God.

So whether it is something big like the loss of a loved one, or a job or something small like a stained dress, we need God’s help to get us through whatever we are going through.

Love is always there to comfort and guide us and we are never alone. All we have to do is ask for what we need. What is most important to me is peace in my heart. When I cannot accept “what is,” I lose my peace.

We always have a CHOICE . We can trust God and surrender or stay stuck in the muck wanting our own way and being miserable. What are you choosing today?

Details of our wedding day

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May
26

I ask Spirit to guide me to share what is most important as I sit before this blank page to prepare to write about “Our wedding” and my daughter, Mary; and grandson, Herbie, celebrating with us.

I wrote in my last blog that if I were to stay PEACEFUL & PRESENT for our wedding, there were some things that I would need to practice: accepting “what is”, going with the flow, trusting that everything that happened would be for my highest good, and being grateful and surrendering to whatever “showed up.” I was determined to not let anything rob me of my peace. I am happy to say that I remained peaceful and present the whole time, despite the many opportunities Spirit provided for us.

But before I share these opportunities, I would like to say that everything was in DIVINE PERFECTION. The night before our wedding, our friends, Kat and Robert, did a photo shoot of us on the ocean at Secret Beach. Secret Beach is the most popular place for weddings in Maui.

The next morning we were married in our home by Rev. Kimo, a Hawaiian minister. Our home was transformed into a beautiful sanctuary with colorful red and yellow Hawaiian flowers and pink rose petals strewn across the floor. My daughter, Mary, walked me up the aisle to greet my beloved, Larry waiting for me on our lanai with the rest of our friends. It was a gorgeous setting as our lanai overlooks the ocean and the pink and white Plumeria trees are all in bloom. I truly felt like I was royalty with my beautiful lei and haku (headpiece) and the most grateful and happiest woman alive.

Larry wore a white Hawaiian shirt and white pants and looked like a knight in shining armor. He looked so handsome that he took my breath away. I waited for this sacred moment for so long and it was now here. When the service began, I looked out into the faces of our friends smiling and tears rolling down their cheeks and I knew Spirit was present and with us. Mary surprised me by taking a video and all my children and grandchildren were were able to be present and watched the whole service. What a special gift that was knowing they were celebrating with us.

The reception was truly a “Love Fest.” After thanking all of our friends for all of their help, Larry said grace before the meal and said “Our purpose is to love, laugh and let our lights shine.” We had a delicious meal, drank wine, danced and had a great time.

When I walked into the reception and saw the decorations and flowers on the tables, I was in awe of how beautiful they looked. I really wanted the flower arrangements to be spectacular and was willing to pay the best price for the 50 pink and white roses I ordered. I picked up the flowers two days before the wedding and planned on making 8 table arrangements, my bridal bouquet, maid of honor’s bouquet and the centerpiece for the head table in the next 2 days.

I was shocked when I opened the boxes of roses when I got home. Many of the roses were damaged and turning brown and squished together. This could have been a nightmare and I surely could have lost my peace. Instead, I accepted “what is” and worked with what I had. I immediately called the florist to report the condition of the roses. Of course, they apologized and offered me a refund for the roses, which I gladly accepted. So, in the end, it all worked out and the flowers were beautiful. I had ordered exactly what I needed.

I went to my maid of honor’s house, Kati, to dress before the wedding. It was 5 minutes to 10 and the ceremony started at 10:00 am. We were about to leave her house to come to the ceremony when my phone rang. It was Larry and he said, “The minister needs the marriage license, do you have it?” I said, “No, I don’t have it.” I stayed calm and said, “look in your files, it must be there.” Within a few minutes he came back on the phone and reported, “I found it.” OMG can you imagine what a disaster that could have been because the minister would not have been able to marry us without it. There were 45 guests all sitting and waiting for me to arrive and the ceremony to start. Sorry folks wedding is canceled because we lost the paper.

There were other small things that happened during the day that I was able to dismiss and not lose my peace over. It was like nothing mattered and I focused on what was important. It was truly a sacred, magical wedding day for us that we will never forget.

It was like a double header. The next day was Mother’s Day and Mary and Herbie made me breakfast. We spent the day together at the beach and had a blast in the pool. Larry and I (and all my girlfriends) fell in love with that little guy. He is an amazing soul full of light and love. We are so blessed to have him in our family.

Today is our 1 week anniversary of our marriage and we are still integrating the powerful energy of love that was present. Many people have shared that our marriage is like a fairy tale come true. I am in awe of God’s grace and faithfulness. I am grateful for all the love, support and help we received to make our wedding the best day of my life. .

3 more days until we are married

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May
15

It’s hard to believe that when you receive this blog, it will be 3 days before our marriage and I will be Mrs. Lawrence Patrick Burns. Don’t you love how it sounds! To say the excitement and joy is mounting would be an understatement. With the grace of God, and the help of friends, I am having fun and remaining peaceful.veryone wants to be a part of our “Sacred LOVE Celebration” and have offered help with whatever we need. It has been amazing what my friends are doing for me and I am so grateful. It is indeed humbling to receive such love and kindness. Spirit has shown me that the love I am receiving is the love that I have given to others.

Believe me, I am calling in the troops and sent detailed lists to our friends in what I need them to do the day before our wedding and the day of our wedding; from putting up the canopy’s on the lanai, transforming our home with beautiful flowers for the ceremony, delivering flowers and decorating the restaurant after our ceremony, driving Larry and I to the reception, parking cars and directing traffic at our home and serving drinks and cookies after our ceremony.

I know our wedding day will flow with peace, ease and grace and it will be sacred and beautiful. I am so excited that my daughter, Mary, and her son, Herbie, will be coming for our wedding. Mary sent us a video of Herbie dancing with her in the kitchen. This is his first time on an airplane and he’s telling all the kids in his class that he’s coming to Maui. My friends can’t wait to meet this little “Angel.”

Mary and Herbie are arriving on Thursday afternoon and leaving on Tuesday morning. Mary is celebrating her first “Mother’s Day” as a new mother and celebrating with her own mother who lives 5000 miles away. I have a feeling this is going to be my very BEST Mother’s Day ever. Mary and Herbie will make me breakfast and then we will go to the ocean and play.

I’ve received many spiritual gifts this week to prepare my heart and soul for our sacred union. For most of the week, I felt the need to go within and be quiet. My son, Tim, gifted me with an intuitive reading from a healer from the UK. It was a very powerful session as she cleared karma from several past lives and contracts and vows that I made. My friend, Mary, who is a powerful healer gifted Larry and I with long distance healing. As a wedding gift, my massage therapist gave me a wonderful massage. All I can say is “thank you” and I am ready for the next adventure to unfold in my life.

I know all of you who faithfully read our blogs will be with us in spirit for our sacred union. Here are some pictures that I want to share with you in hopes you will feel the joy and love that we are creating to prepare for our wedding.

I had to WAIT until I was ready

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May
5

I have been religiously counting the weeks before our wedding on May 13th. After I got over the initial shock that I had somehow “LOST” a week and had only 2 more weeks left for our upcoming wedding, instead of 3, I made a decision (after I freaked out) that what was most important to me was that I be peaceful and be present to the moment.

As I have shared in past blogs, I am very organized and had everything “under control” because I wanted to enjoy the weeks before our wedding. I wanted to be relaxed and enjoy our sacred ceremony and reception. I am making all of the flower arrangements and my bouquet because I want to, but it takes a lot of work and time. There is a lot of planning that needs to be done in the last few days and I need to be on my game and not be stressed out. Thank God, I have wonderful friends who have offered to help. I couldn’t do it without them.

If I want to remain peaceful and present there are a few things that I must remember and PRACTICE or I will be a crazy lady! I know how I can get and so does Larry! I don’t have to do everything perfectly, but I will do my BEST and that will be ENOUGH.

  • I will choose love and peace instead of fear and worry, knowing all is already planned in the mind of God.
  • I will accept “what is” and go with the flow if something doesn’t go the way I planned it.
  • I will let go of control and TRUST everything is happening for my highest good.
  • I will ask for help and receive it graciously.
  • I will allow Spirit to lead the way and turn my will over on a daily basis.
  • I will RELAX, have fun and enjoy each moment.
  • I will let go of my perfectionism and attachments.
  • I will not worry about what others think of me as it is none of my business.
  • I will be grateful and SURRENDER to whatever shows up.
  • I will not push or force myself to do anything that doesn’t feel right.
  • I will take time to pray, meditate and rest when I need to.
  • I will listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit, ask for guidance and follow-through.

I will remember what is important: God and I are ONE. All the “trappings” (flowers, decorations, dress are NOTHING). All that is real is LOVE and the present moment. Everything else is a dream and an illusion.

Many years ago while I was waiting for my soul mate to “show up”, I asked God, “What is wrong with me? Why haven’t I met my soul mate yet?”

Shortly after that I received an email from a friend. This is part of what it said:

But God said: not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone. I love you my child and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the PERFECT RELATIONSHIP that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of any other longings or desires. I want you to stop wishing, planning and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the BEST. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching, learning and listening to the things I tell you. YOU MUST WAIT. Do not be anxious or worried. You must keep looking within to me or you will miss what I want to show you. And then you will be READY.

I WILL SURPRISE YOU WITH A LOVE THAT IS FAR MORE WONDERFUL THAN YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF.

God is faithful and my dream has come true. Thank you for making me READY! Waiting for 15 years for Larry has not been easy, but it has been worth the wait. Truly, I have been surprised with a LOVE that is far more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. My heart is full of gratitude for all Spirit has done in my life and it continues to get better and better.

I couldn’t stop the tears

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Apr
29

Do your loved ones communicate with you after they have passed on? It may be through a butterfly or a cardinal or a favorite song. I stood in the middle of my favorite consignment shop, Rainbow Attic, yesterday and I couldn’t believe what I heard on the radio. I had kind of given up on hearing the song since it had been several years since I heard it.. I was in the back of the store just kind of browsing around when I stopped dead in my tracks.

The song, “Honey,” was playing loud and clear on the radio. As many of you know through reading my blogs and book, “Honey” is my mother’s name. It will be almost 50 years since she passed away on her 25th wedding anniversary. I was only 20 years old. A year later, I was sitting in the back of a car when I first heard the song “Honey” written by Bobby Goldboro. It is a beautiful song about him missing “Honey”after she died.

Paula, the owner’s mother happened to walk by and noticed me frozen in place with tears running down my cheeks. She stopped and asked, “Are you finding everything you need?” I could hardly talk, but I had to tell her the story of “Honey” and what the song meant to me. She said, “I am sorry.” I said, “Don’t be sorry, my mother is here with me now.”

Over the years my mother has “shown up” when I most needed her. Right before I went to the consignment store, I was shopping for some greeting cards. The woman greeted me and said, “Honey, how can I help you?” I smiled and said, “Thank you for calling me Honey-that is my mother’s name.” Of course, she looked at me kind of funny because she had no idea how significant it was for me.

As I prepare my body, mind and spirit to be married to my beloved Larry, I know my mother is around, loving and supporting me to release all that no longer serves me. Here is what happened last week.

My friend, Ruth, and her daughter, Kerri, bought me 2 beautiful bouquets of lillies for the night of my bridal shower. Ruth shared that the orchids were “calling her.” She was at the register in the supermarket with another kind of flowers and had to go back and buy the orchids.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I was “allergic” to certain kinds of lillies. At least I thought I was allergic because I couldn’t stand how they smelled. My son, Tim, sent me lillies last year for Mother’s Day and I couldn’t keep them in the house because of the smell. I felt so badly because he thought they were my favorite flowers.

Whenever I smelled these kinds of lillies, it brought back memories of when my mother died and I sat in the funeral parlor and passed out because of the strong smell from the flowers.

Of course, I didn’t say anything to Ruth and brought them home after the shower. I was so out of it from all the love I received that I didn’t think about the lillies until the next morning. I put them in water in a beautiful vase and placed them on the table in front of me as I prayed.

Instead of being “repulsed” by the smell of the flowers and having to get them out of the house as quickly as I could, I started to cry because I felt this was how my mother was showing up for me. I allowed myself to feel her loving presence and love.

I was sobbing when my friends, Ruth and Kati, came for a visit a few minutes later. They didn’t know what happened when I answered the door with tears running down my cheeks. They hugged me and sat with me holding my hands as I told them the story of what had just happened with the lillies. They knew it was a sacred healing moment with my mother, “Honey.”

I kept the flowers for a week and enjoyed the smell every time I walked by. We always get what we need if we look for the signs and are open to receiving them. I feel so blessed and grateful for everything and everyone in my life.

Goddess Bridal Shower

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Apr
23

 “Pearls of Blessings” Special Bridal Shower honoring Pat Hastings.

Here is the invitation that was sent to my friends: “Please bring a prayer, poem, or blessing to share. Thank you for adding your Divine Presence to this joyous celebration.”

I was very excited and a bit nervous the morning of my bridal shower. My prayer was that I would be able to RECEIVE all the love that my sisters would shower on me. In the past, when my ego was running the show, I unconsciously blocked love from coming in because of not feeling deserving or worthy. I believe that the more I open myself to RECEIVE love, the more I can give LOVE.

I am pleased to share that my prayer was answered big time! Someone commented that I had a perpetual smile on my face and that I glowed. I felt like I was glowing from the inside out and my face hurt from smiling so much. My heart was happy to be in the presence of such beautiful loving Goddesses who so willingly poured out their love on me.

The energy of love in the room was electrifying, magical and powerful. The next day after the shower, I felt like I was in an “altered state.” My body was tingling with energy all day and I walked around in a daze, not being able to do much of anything. Larry commented to me, “I hope you won’t be driving today.” Talk about the POWER OF LOVE.

What I realize is that I had to be willing to expand my heart to be able to receive the outpouring of so much love. I think this is the way we are meant to live as we are all vessels of love and our reason for being here is to receive and give love to one another.

We laughed, prayed, cried, shared with one another and had a delicious meal together. We played a fun bride game that had us all in hysterics. I received beautiful cards, poems, well wishes and gifts that were so meaningful.

I sat in the middle of a semi-circle, surrounded by beautiful Goddesses and flowers, as each woman came up to me to read their blessing or card. I also received cards and written poems from friends in Rhode Island.

I handed each woman a pearl that Kat provided from her grandmothers pearls. This was very moving because Kat had taken the pearls apart so each woman could receive a pearl. The pearl was then returned to me so they could be restrung and I will wear them as a sign of this celebration of love. I found out later that my friend, Ruth, gave Kat money to pay to have the beads restrung.

The highlight of the night that brought us all to tears is when I opened the gift from my friend, Lesta, who is an amazing artist. She painted a picture of my grandson, Herbie. All of my friends knew the powerful story of Herbie’s adoption and it was like time stopped and we all felt the presence of God in that moment. The painting captured his essence and soul. I have never seen anything like it because Light emanated from the painting. Lesta shared with me the next day, “When I read your blog a few months ago about his adoption and saw his picture, I knew I had to paint him. It was like the paintbrush took over. He has the look of an old soul. I believe it was your faith and prayers that drew his bright soul into your family.”

I feel so blessed and grateful to have such beautiful loving women in my life. They truly were my sisters and mothers and God loved me through each one of them. One of my friends reminded me that the love I received is the love I give and that I created this beautiful circle of friends around me. Another friend commented, “I felt the presence of God in the room. Never have I attended such a loving celebration. I left in the embrace of sisterhood – nourished by the delicious food and beautiful blessings.”

 

Here is one of the poems that I received:

 

The Love Declarations – A Covenant

I am your partner in awakening from fear. From this moment on, at all times, under all conditions, I declare I am and I will be, for all beings, A Conscious Source of absolute Love; and I promise, I will serve only Love, in you, in me, and in All, no matter what, for the rest of my life.

Thank you Kat, Kati and Catherine for creating a most memorable and sacred celebration for my bridal shower. Thank you all the women who blessed me with your love and kindness. I will never be the same.

I was astonished at how long it took

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Apr
8

I bought some orchids in a large container about 2 ½ years ago for my birthday at a yard sale. The women explained that they had just blossomed and would bloom again in a few months. She didn’t remember what colors they were, but said they were beautiful. In the past, I had never been able to grow orchids so I wanted to make sure I did it the right way. I was patient and watered them weekly, (for 2 ½ years), but no flowers bloomed.

I had given up on them flowering. Then, one day about a month ago, I noticed the first white orchid blooming and then the second and the third. All in all, there are now 12 beautiful orchids blooming. I was astonished after all this time, that they would start to flower. A couple of weeks later, I noticed a yellow orchid starting to bloom. There are 14 buds on the plant ready to pop.

You might be saying to yourself, “So, who cares about her orchids, what’s the point?” There are probably many things we can learn from this simple story. I could have easily tossed the plants and bought new ones to replace them because I love orchids in my home. How many of us have tossed relationships or jobs or dreams because things weren’t happening fast enough?

The lesson for me about the flowers is about WAITING and not giving up. I didn’t really think about it, but I just kept watering them and accepted that I wasn’t going to get flowering orchids. I didn’t have any expectations of when or if they would flower. I just enjoyed their shiny green leaves.

Like most of you, I don’t like to wait.. I’m impatient and want to know what’s going on NOW. Larry might say that I can be IMPULSIVE and he is right. When I think of something I want to buy or do or go somewhere, I am on it in a flash. I am not a procrastinator and do get things done, so that is a good thing. But, being impatient and not willing to wait or wanting things to go my way causes me a great deal of stress

I have learned to temper that part of me that doesn’t like to wait by going within and asking Spirit “What do I need to do or say in this moment. I often hear, ‘WAIT” and I listen. When I hear “Speak or go or do” I follow through. I have seen a big difference in my relationship with Larry when I listen and don’t jump in and let my ego run the show.

As human beings, I think expectations can cause us undue suffering and pain. We want what we want when we want it and we want it NOW. We don’t trust God’s perfect plan and timing for our lives. We are not able to accept “what is.” We want something different than “what is.” We complain, blame, control, manipulate and try to make things happen. We may try to change people we love, instead of looking at ourselves and what needs to be changed in us.

I stayed in a marriage for 30 years until I could no longer stay and was strong enough to leave. I did all of the above; complained, blamed, controlled and it just didn’t work. I could not accept “what is” and knew that if I wanted to live my life to the fullest, leaving was in my best interest and ultimately in his best interest also. I wouldn’t be where I am today and getting married if I didn’t have the courage to look at myself and what needed to be changed in me.

Life is often about letting go, letting God and allowing Spirit to lead the way. We need to discern and ask Spirit what to do next if we are unhappy or struggling in a relationship or job. We need to discern whether to give up, wait or keep going. Others may think we are crazy, but we know in our hearts what we need to do.

If we want peace, we must follow our hearts, no matter what others think. Where do you need to follow your heart? Where do you need to wait? Where do you need to keep going and not give up?

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
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