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3 more days until we are married

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May
15

It’s hard to believe that when you receive this blog, it will be 3 days before our marriage and I will be Mrs. Lawrence Patrick Burns. Don’t you love how it sounds! To say the excitement and joy is mounting would be an understatement. With the grace of God, and the help of friends, I am having fun and remaining peaceful.veryone wants to be a part of our “Sacred LOVE Celebration” and have offered help with whatever we need. It has been amazing what my friends are doing for me and I am so grateful. It is indeed humbling to receive such love and kindness. Spirit has shown me that the love I am receiving is the love that I have given to others.

Believe me, I am calling in the troops and sent detailed lists to our friends in what I need them to do the day before our wedding and the day of our wedding; from putting up the canopy’s on the lanai, transforming our home with beautiful flowers for the ceremony, delivering flowers and decorating the restaurant after our ceremony, driving Larry and I to the reception, parking cars and directing traffic at our home and serving drinks and cookies after our ceremony.

I know our wedding day will flow with peace, ease and grace and it will be sacred and beautiful. I am so excited that my daughter, Mary, and her son, Herbie, will be coming for our wedding. Mary sent us a video of Herbie dancing with her in the kitchen. This is his first time on an airplane and he’s telling all the kids in his class that he’s coming to Maui. My friends can’t wait to meet this little “Angel.”

Mary and Herbie are arriving on Thursday afternoon and leaving on Tuesday morning. Mary is celebrating her first “Mother’s Day” as a new mother and celebrating with her own mother who lives 5000 miles away. I have a feeling this is going to be my very BEST Mother’s Day ever. Mary and Herbie will make me breakfast and then we will go to the ocean and play.

I’ve received many spiritual gifts this week to prepare my heart and soul for our sacred union. For most of the week, I felt the need to go within and be quiet. My son, Tim, gifted me with an intuitive reading from a healer from the UK. It was a very powerful session as she cleared karma from several past lives and contracts and vows that I made. My friend, Mary, who is a powerful healer gifted Larry and I with long distance healing. As a wedding gift, my massage therapist gave me a wonderful massage. All I can say is “thank you” and I am ready for the next adventure to unfold in my life.

I know all of you who faithfully read our blogs will be with us in spirit for our sacred union. Here are some pictures that I want to share with you in hopes you will feel the joy and love that we are creating to prepare for our wedding.

I had to WAIT until I was ready

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May
5

I have been religiously counting the weeks before our wedding on May 13th. After I got over the initial shock that I had somehow “LOST” a week and had only 2 more weeks left for our upcoming wedding, instead of 3, I made a decision (after I freaked out) that what was most important to me was that I be peaceful and be present to the moment.

As I have shared in past blogs, I am very organized and had everything “under control” because I wanted to enjoy the weeks before our wedding. I wanted to be relaxed and enjoy our sacred ceremony and reception. I am making all of the flower arrangements and my bouquet because I want to, but it takes a lot of work and time. There is a lot of planning that needs to be done in the last few days and I need to be on my game and not be stressed out. Thank God, I have wonderful friends who have offered to help. I couldn’t do it without them.

If I want to remain peaceful and present there are a few things that I must remember and PRACTICE or I will be a crazy lady! I know how I can get and so does Larry! I don’t have to do everything perfectly, but I will do my BEST and that will be ENOUGH.

  • I will choose love and peace instead of fear and worry, knowing all is already planned in the mind of God.
  • I will accept “what is” and go with the flow if something doesn’t go the way I planned it.
  • I will let go of control and TRUST everything is happening for my highest good.
  • I will ask for help and receive it graciously.
  • I will allow Spirit to lead the way and turn my will over on a daily basis.
  • I will RELAX, have fun and enjoy each moment.
  • I will let go of my perfectionism and attachments.
  • I will not worry about what others think of me as it is none of my business.
  • I will be grateful and SURRENDER to whatever shows up.
  • I will not push or force myself to do anything that doesn’t feel right.
  • I will take time to pray, meditate and rest when I need to.
  • I will listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit, ask for guidance and follow-through.

I will remember what is important: God and I are ONE. All the “trappings” (flowers, decorations, dress are NOTHING). All that is real is LOVE and the present moment. Everything else is a dream and an illusion.

Many years ago while I was waiting for my soul mate to “show up”, I asked God, “What is wrong with me? Why haven’t I met my soul mate yet?”

Shortly after that I received an email from a friend. This is part of what it said:

But God said: not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone. I love you my child and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the PERFECT RELATIONSHIP that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of any other longings or desires. I want you to stop wishing, planning and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the BEST. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching, learning and listening to the things I tell you. YOU MUST WAIT. Do not be anxious or worried. You must keep looking within to me or you will miss what I want to show you. And then you will be READY.

I WILL SURPRISE YOU WITH A LOVE THAT IS FAR MORE WONDERFUL THAN YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF.

God is faithful and my dream has come true. Thank you for making me READY! Waiting for 15 years for Larry has not been easy, but it has been worth the wait. Truly, I have been surprised with a LOVE that is far more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. My heart is full of gratitude for all Spirit has done in my life and it continues to get better and better.

I couldn’t stop the tears

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Apr
29

Do your loved ones communicate with you after they have passed on? It may be through a butterfly or a cardinal or a favorite song. I stood in the middle of my favorite consignment shop, Rainbow Attic, yesterday and I couldn’t believe what I heard on the radio. I had kind of given up on hearing the song since it had been several years since I heard it.. I was in the back of the store just kind of browsing around when I stopped dead in my tracks.

The song, “Honey,” was playing loud and clear on the radio. As many of you know through reading my blogs and book, “Honey” is my mother’s name. It will be almost 50 years since she passed away on her 25th wedding anniversary. I was only 20 years old. A year later, I was sitting in the back of a car when I first heard the song “Honey” written by Bobby Goldboro. It is a beautiful song about him missing “Honey”after she died.

Paula, the owner’s mother happened to walk by and noticed me frozen in place with tears running down my cheeks. She stopped and asked, “Are you finding everything you need?” I could hardly talk, but I had to tell her the story of “Honey” and what the song meant to me. She said, “I am sorry.” I said, “Don’t be sorry, my mother is here with me now.”

Over the years my mother has “shown up” when I most needed her. Right before I went to the consignment store, I was shopping for some greeting cards. The woman greeted me and said, “Honey, how can I help you?” I smiled and said, “Thank you for calling me Honey-that is my mother’s name.” Of course, she looked at me kind of funny because she had no idea how significant it was for me.

As I prepare my body, mind and spirit to be married to my beloved Larry, I know my mother is around, loving and supporting me to release all that no longer serves me. Here is what happened last week.

My friend, Ruth, and her daughter, Kerri, bought me 2 beautiful bouquets of lillies for the night of my bridal shower. Ruth shared that the orchids were “calling her.” She was at the register in the supermarket with another kind of flowers and had to go back and buy the orchids.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I was “allergic” to certain kinds of lillies. At least I thought I was allergic because I couldn’t stand how they smelled. My son, Tim, sent me lillies last year for Mother’s Day and I couldn’t keep them in the house because of the smell. I felt so badly because he thought they were my favorite flowers.

Whenever I smelled these kinds of lillies, it brought back memories of when my mother died and I sat in the funeral parlor and passed out because of the strong smell from the flowers.

Of course, I didn’t say anything to Ruth and brought them home after the shower. I was so out of it from all the love I received that I didn’t think about the lillies until the next morning. I put them in water in a beautiful vase and placed them on the table in front of me as I prayed.

Instead of being “repulsed” by the smell of the flowers and having to get them out of the house as quickly as I could, I started to cry because I felt this was how my mother was showing up for me. I allowed myself to feel her loving presence and love.

I was sobbing when my friends, Ruth and Kati, came for a visit a few minutes later. They didn’t know what happened when I answered the door with tears running down my cheeks. They hugged me and sat with me holding my hands as I told them the story of what had just happened with the lillies. They knew it was a sacred healing moment with my mother, “Honey.”

I kept the flowers for a week and enjoyed the smell every time I walked by. We always get what we need if we look for the signs and are open to receiving them. I feel so blessed and grateful for everything and everyone in my life.

Goddess Bridal Shower

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Apr
23

 “Pearls of Blessings” Special Bridal Shower honoring Pat Hastings.

Here is the invitation that was sent to my friends: “Please bring a prayer, poem, or blessing to share. Thank you for adding your Divine Presence to this joyous celebration.”

I was very excited and a bit nervous the morning of my bridal shower. My prayer was that I would be able to RECEIVE all the love that my sisters would shower on me. In the past, when my ego was running the show, I unconsciously blocked love from coming in because of not feeling deserving or worthy. I believe that the more I open myself to RECEIVE love, the more I can give LOVE.

I am pleased to share that my prayer was answered big time! Someone commented that I had a perpetual smile on my face and that I glowed. I felt like I was glowing from the inside out and my face hurt from smiling so much. My heart was happy to be in the presence of such beautiful loving Goddesses who so willingly poured out their love on me.

The energy of love in the room was electrifying, magical and powerful. The next day after the shower, I felt like I was in an “altered state.” My body was tingling with energy all day and I walked around in a daze, not being able to do much of anything. Larry commented to me, “I hope you won’t be driving today.” Talk about the POWER OF LOVE.

What I realize is that I had to be willing to expand my heart to be able to receive the outpouring of so much love. I think this is the way we are meant to live as we are all vessels of love and our reason for being here is to receive and give love to one another.

We laughed, prayed, cried, shared with one another and had a delicious meal together. We played a fun bride game that had us all in hysterics. I received beautiful cards, poems, well wishes and gifts that were so meaningful.

I sat in the middle of a semi-circle, surrounded by beautiful Goddesses and flowers, as each woman came up to me to read their blessing or card. I also received cards and written poems from friends in Rhode Island.

I handed each woman a pearl that Kat provided from her grandmothers pearls. This was very moving because Kat had taken the pearls apart so each woman could receive a pearl. The pearl was then returned to me so they could be restrung and I will wear them as a sign of this celebration of love. I found out later that my friend, Ruth, gave Kat money to pay to have the beads restrung.

The highlight of the night that brought us all to tears is when I opened the gift from my friend, Lesta, who is an amazing artist. She painted a picture of my grandson, Herbie. All of my friends knew the powerful story of Herbie’s adoption and it was like time stopped and we all felt the presence of God in that moment. The painting captured his essence and soul. I have never seen anything like it because Light emanated from the painting. Lesta shared with me the next day, “When I read your blog a few months ago about his adoption and saw his picture, I knew I had to paint him. It was like the paintbrush took over. He has the look of an old soul. I believe it was your faith and prayers that drew his bright soul into your family.”

I feel so blessed and grateful to have such beautiful loving women in my life. They truly were my sisters and mothers and God loved me through each one of them. One of my friends reminded me that the love I received is the love I give and that I created this beautiful circle of friends around me. Another friend commented, “I felt the presence of God in the room. Never have I attended such a loving celebration. I left in the embrace of sisterhood – nourished by the delicious food and beautiful blessings.”

 

Here is one of the poems that I received:

 

The Love Declarations – A Covenant

I am your partner in awakening from fear. From this moment on, at all times, under all conditions, I declare I am and I will be, for all beings, A Conscious Source of absolute Love; and I promise, I will serve only Love, in you, in me, and in All, no matter what, for the rest of my life.

Thank you Kat, Kati and Catherine for creating a most memorable and sacred celebration for my bridal shower. Thank you all the women who blessed me with your love and kindness. I will never be the same.

I was astonished at how long it took

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Apr
8

I bought some orchids in a large container about 2 ½ years ago for my birthday at a yard sale. The women explained that they had just blossomed and would bloom again in a few months. She didn’t remember what colors they were, but said they were beautiful. In the past, I had never been able to grow orchids so I wanted to make sure I did it the right way. I was patient and watered them weekly, (for 2 ½ years), but no flowers bloomed.

I had given up on them flowering. Then, one day about a month ago, I noticed the first white orchid blooming and then the second and the third. All in all, there are now 12 beautiful orchids blooming. I was astonished after all this time, that they would start to flower. A couple of weeks later, I noticed a yellow orchid starting to bloom. There are 14 buds on the plant ready to pop.

You might be saying to yourself, “So, who cares about her orchids, what’s the point?” There are probably many things we can learn from this simple story. I could have easily tossed the plants and bought new ones to replace them because I love orchids in my home. How many of us have tossed relationships or jobs or dreams because things weren’t happening fast enough?

The lesson for me about the flowers is about WAITING and not giving up. I didn’t really think about it, but I just kept watering them and accepted that I wasn’t going to get flowering orchids. I didn’t have any expectations of when or if they would flower. I just enjoyed their shiny green leaves.

Like most of you, I don’t like to wait.. I’m impatient and want to know what’s going on NOW. Larry might say that I can be IMPULSIVE and he is right. When I think of something I want to buy or do or go somewhere, I am on it in a flash. I am not a procrastinator and do get things done, so that is a good thing. But, being impatient and not willing to wait or wanting things to go my way causes me a great deal of stress

I have learned to temper that part of me that doesn’t like to wait by going within and asking Spirit “What do I need to do or say in this moment. I often hear, ‘WAIT” and I listen. When I hear “Speak or go or do” I follow through. I have seen a big difference in my relationship with Larry when I listen and don’t jump in and let my ego run the show.

As human beings, I think expectations can cause us undue suffering and pain. We want what we want when we want it and we want it NOW. We don’t trust God’s perfect plan and timing for our lives. We are not able to accept “what is.” We want something different than “what is.” We complain, blame, control, manipulate and try to make things happen. We may try to change people we love, instead of looking at ourselves and what needs to be changed in us.

I stayed in a marriage for 30 years until I could no longer stay and was strong enough to leave. I did all of the above; complained, blamed, controlled and it just didn’t work. I could not accept “what is” and knew that if I wanted to live my life to the fullest, leaving was in my best interest and ultimately in his best interest also. I wouldn’t be where I am today and getting married if I didn’t have the courage to look at myself and what needed to be changed in me.

Life is often about letting go, letting God and allowing Spirit to lead the way. We need to discern and ask Spirit what to do next if we are unhappy or struggling in a relationship or job. We need to discern whether to give up, wait or keep going. Others may think we are crazy, but we know in our hearts what we need to do.

If we want peace, we must follow our hearts, no matter what others think. Where do you need to follow your heart? Where do you need to wait? Where do you need to keep going and not give up?

I love being a BRIDE

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Mar
30

It’s hard to believe that at age 70, I am planning a wedding. As Larry’s gift to me, he has given me free reign to choose what I want as far as decorating, songs, invitations, etc. He was happy to be included in the selection for the catering menu at our reception. We know where his heart is! I am grateful for this gift because it takes a lot of stress out of the equation.

I have to say, I love being a BRIDE. Some refer to me as a “blushing bride,” but I am not blushing because I am enjoying every moment of it and having fun. Right from the start, Larry and I both affirmed that everything would flow with peace, ease and grace because we know weddings can be very stressful and we work hard at avoiding stress in our lives.

I found the perfect wedding dress- the first one I tried on and it fit me to a tee. I feel like Cinderella with my new sparkly diamond sandals that I purchased at “If The Shoe Fits” shoe store. I was so excited that I took a picture of them and posted them on Face book. I had lots of comments and 100 likes. I was at a Beatles concert last night and several women who saw the post walked by me and said, “I love your shoes.” We girls like our shoes!

My Maid of Honor, Kati, and I created the wedding invitations and we just love them .It took several hours (and some swearing) before we finally got it right. We prayed, asked for help and didn’t give up. I showed the invitation to a friend and she said, “I will use this like a vision board for what I want to attract into my life.”

I am making the flower arrangements for the ceremony, reception and my bridal bouquet. Although I really want to do the flower arrangements, it is probably the most stressful part of it all because I have to decide what flowers I want. When I left the florist the other day and had made my decisions on what flowers I wanted, I felt like I was floating on air and full of joy. I know it will be beautiful and many of my girlfriends have offered to help.

“We make plans and God laughs.” This certainly holds true in what we just experienced with our wedding plans. As I shared in an earlier blog, we were getting married in a beautiful little Hawaiian church on Maui with a reception to follow at Cafe Ole at the Dunes. Invitations were done and ready to be sent out when I received an email from the minister, “Pat, I am so sorry but the church is no longer available for your wedding. The board just informed me that there was a prior event planned that involves all the churches in Hawaii coming to our church at that time. Can we do it another day?”

I would say that not having a church to get married in is a big change of plans! As I read the email to Larry, we looked at one another in shock and said, “O.K, now what?”

Within the first 5 minutes, God’s grace was evident as I started to do the EFT tapping that I mentioned in a blog a few weeks ago. It really works. I could feel my body relax and it felt like the tension was like a balloon that had been deflated. It was amazing that we both felt peaceful in the midst of what could have been a lot of drama.

In the past, we may have gone into a panic, felt angry and indignant that this happened to us. Instead, we accepted it and knew that it was going to work out for our highest good. We were being given an opportunity to trust and practice what we believe.

We discussed a few different options and called some other churches in the area, but to no avail. All of a sudden the idea came into my mind to get married in our beautiful home. Why not? We will turn our home into a sacred sanctuary filled with love, friends and beautiful flowers.

I can already see how this new arrangement is for our highest good and going to be much better. I felt kind of restricted as to what we could and couldn’t do with the ceremony in the church. Now we can do whatever we want and we also save a lot of money.

We found a Hawaiian minister to perform the ceremony and he is open to whatever we want to do.. (Www.rev.kimo) My daughter, Mary, will walk me down the aisle (in my living room) to the Alleluia song sung by the priest at a wedding on YouTube. I know there will not be a dry eye in the place, including the both of us.

Here is a poem that describes our journey

LOVE

Wait for it.

A gentle Love,

A tender Love,

A passionate Love, with

big plans, an everyday

Love with quiet moments,

a Love born of trust and faith

I kept saying YES to the plan

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Mar
26

Larry and I invited Ellen to lunch at our favorite restaurant, “The Sea House” for her birthday. We also invited our friend, Ruth, who is on Maui for 4 months from Rhode Island.. As I thought about it, I felt excited because these two women play a significant role in my living on Maui.

Seven years ago Ruth invited me to be a speaker at her church. She was on the worship committee and had to organize 10 spiritual speakers for the summer series. Ruth didn’t know me, but happened to be at another church service in the community and saw a flyer that I had left on the table. She said she felt my energy through the picture and decided to check out my website. Ruth called and asked me if I would be interested in speaking at her church. Of course, I was thrilled and said, “Yes.”

We met a few weeks before the talk to discuss what I would be speaking about and the logistics. I talked quite a bit about manifesting and the power of faith. When we were done, Ruth turned to me and said, “So Pat, what do you plan on manifesting next?” I have no recall of saying this but Ruth remembers very clearly what happened. She said, “You put up your arms and said, “I am going to live in Hawaii.”

Ruth then replied to me, “I would love to introduce you to Ellen, who will be at the service this Sunday. Ellen lives on Maui and she is here visiting her daughter.”

After my talk on Sunday, Ruth brought over Ellen to introduce me to her. Ellen was 85 years old and a very vivacious woman. After some small talk I said, “I have always wanted to visit Hawaii.” Ellen then whipped out a post card of her condo which overlooked the ocean and said, “Oh you can stay with me for as long as you want and you can also use my car.”

The rest is HISTORY. I visited Ellen for 2 weeks at Thanksgiving and then a year later I moved to Maui and lived in a condo with Ellen’s daughter and son-in-law for 6 months, which also overlooked the ocean. What really amazes me now is that I paid $300 a month.

Ruth and I stayed in touched through occasional emails and she knew I had moved to Maui. When she came to Maui 3 years ago, she emailed me and asked if I could check out the place she was about to rent, which I did.

Ruth and I spent lots of time together playing and having fun. We really got to know one another and in fact, she helped me find and move into the home that I now live in with Larry. When I returned to Rhode Island in the summer to lead a retreat, Ruth attended and even brought her daughter, Kerry, to the last retreat. Kerry and her husband, Neil, recently moved to Maui.

Ruth met Larry when she was here and loved him. She said to another friend of mine, (because she knew I was looking for my soul mate), “Why isn’t Pat with Larry – they are meant for each other?” I explained to her as I did to my other friends and family, “He is my best friend and I just don’t have romantic feelings for him.” It wasn’t until we were both ready and it was God’s timing.

I asked Ruth during our lunch this week, “You have watched our love story unfold. What has it been like for you now that Larry and I are engaged and getting married?”

“ OMG, this is one of the most special times that has transpired by bringing people together I knew from different settings. Ellen is full of love, as Pat is. At 90 years old, she is still teaching 2 yoga classes at the senior center every week. She has amazing energy and a positive attitude.

As I watch what has happened with Pat and Larry, I am basking in the glow of these two people who have consciously taken the time to look into their spirituality in depth. It is unusual to find a man like this with such a caring, loving, light-hearted attitude and living life to the fullest. The same adjectives to describe Larry I recognize in Pat. She is caring, loving, light-hearted and glowing in love. They both truly live life to the fullest. Their union was inevitable.”

I am truly grateful how the Universe brings people and situations together for our highest good. I had no idea what would happen and how my life would change by saying YES to Ruth when she asked me to speak at her church. I had no idea that when Ellen invited me to visit her on Maui, I would be living here full time a year later.

I just kept saying YES to what life presented to me. Although I had no idea of what the future would hold, as none of us do, God knew the plans He had in mind for me.

It felt like emotional surgery

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Mar
20

The one thing I am certain about on the spiritual path is that WE ARE NEVER DONE and there is always MORE. After several decades of doing inner work, forgiveness and transformation, I was surprised when Spirit brought to the light something that needed to be healed and released in me. It felt like emotional surgery that I believe was a “divine set up.”

My life was working well; I felt peaceful, I was getting married and I have a new grandchild. I share this experience with you so you will know that you are not alone and to show you how you can free yourself from any emotional blockages that you may have that are keeping you from living your life to the fullest.

I participated in the 10 day World Summit for EFT tapping.

Emotional Freedom Techniques is tapping on “meridian points” on the body, derived from acupuncture. It can release “energy blockages” that cause “negative emotions.” EFT is a

universal healing tool that can provide impressive results for physical, emotional, and performance issues. The premise includes the understanding that the more unresolved emotional issues you can clear, the more peace and emotional freedom you will have in your life. EFT can be an ongoing process that we use to clear out the old traumas, and welcome any new challenges with a healthy, productive attitude.”

The “divine set up” happened as I listened to the EFT talk with Carol Tuttle and participated in a tapping session called, “Whose energy is it?” We are made up of energy and can be affected by others’ energies without even knowing it. It can happen with a co-worker, spouse, or a friend. It can happen while we are listening to the news or radio and all of a sudden, we are feeling discouraged or depressed and don’t know why. It could be that you picked up someone’s energy and it is not yours.

The day after I did the tapping session, I attended a beautiful “love circle” and house blessing with my 6 soul sisters. The love energy and vibration was incredibly high and everyone felt it. I think being in that beautiful love energy brought to the surface the “energy blockage” from past trauma that needed to be processed and released.

For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with comparing myself and feeling jealous when I didn’t get the attention I craved and wanted when I was a part of a woman’s group. Instead of denying, minimizing or running from my feelings, I allowed myself to go into them and embrace them. For two days, I allowed myself “solitude” and quiet time to cry, feel and write what was coming up to be processed and released. I prayed and asked my friends for help, which was humbling and vulnerable. I don’t like emotional pain, but I know that if I don’t allow myself to feel my feelings, the energy will stay stuck in my body and I will get sick. As children most of us weren’t encouraged to feel our feelings and were even criticized for being too sensitive.

I chose to be vulnerable and as honest as I could be when I shared my struggle with a friend the next day. My heart was pounding, and I felt embarrassed, stupid and like a teenager. Deep shame seemed to envelop me, as tears rolled down my cheeks. I asked myself, “Where was this shame coming from?” I have learned that when something is very strong in the present, it is often about unresolved, blocked emotional pain from the past. You may not recognize that you are feeling shame. Shame is when you feel awful about yourself because you did or said something and you can’t stop beating up on yourself for days.

I thought about the tapping session that I experienced and asked myself, “Whose energy is it?” It was like a light bulb went off and I finally got it. It became clear to me that I have carried deep shame from my mother probably all of my life. My mother was an alcoholic and because of her illness my emotional needs weren’t met. She often ignored me and disappeared for days at a time. I didn’t know if she was dead or alive and I was terrified. I watched her try to kill herself by taking pills when she was drunk. What Spirit revealed to me was that I carried deep shame inside of me because I wanted and needed my mother’s attention and love. Of course, as a little girl, I wanted her attention and love and didn’t want to be ignored. I was still looking for that love from my mother all these years later and being in a group with other women triggered me.

With this new insight of why I struggled all my life with wanting attention and love from other women and not feeling like I would ever get it, I was able to love and be compassionate with myself. I was able to release and transform the shame by acknowledging it and feeling it. The truth will set us free. The EFT exercise released the energy blockage of shame that I carried all my life and blocked me from receiving the love that I so needed from my mother, myself and the women in my life.

Is there an area in your life where you have “energy blockages” and have carried shame or any other negative emotion that needs to be transformed and released? I encourage you to ask yourself, “Whose energy is it?”

Great and exciting news for our family

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Mar
8

As I write this blog today, my heart is overflowing with gratitude and joy (and tears.) My daughter, Mary, and her partner Glen adopted a little boy named Herbie, who is 7 years old. They waited several years for him to arrive and it is truly a match made in heaven and meant to be. We often have to wait and be patient for our dreams to come true.

Here is what Mary wrote on Face book:

We adopted him! Amazingly and synchronisticly his name is HERBIE!! It was meant to be because we are HERB farmers and a HERBALIST!! He is 7 years old, and was in foster care for the last 4 years. He is an amazing kid and we are so lucky to have him. We have had a great experience being foster parents for DCYF. I highly encourage anyone who CAN to foster a child who needs a home.”

Of course, I wanted to be a part of the celebration and adoption, but being 5,000 miles away made it impossible for me to be there. I asked Mary to Facetime me from the courthouse when it was all over, which she did. My grandson, Josh, called me and I was there with them on Facetime to congratulate them. My son, Brian, brought balloons and flowers for his sister. Oh, what a happy day as he proudly walked through the court house with flowers and balloons.

When the adoption was complete and they were still in the courtroom, they asked the DCYF worker to take a picture of the family. My grandson, Josh, was holding up his phone with my picture while I was on Face Time with them. To my delight, Josh said, “Grandma, your presence was definitely felt.” Here is the picture:

Herbie was given a party to celebrate his adoption. He wrote a speech and stood up in front of family and friends. As you can imagine, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Here is his speech:

Thank you all for coming today. This is a special day for me. I have been waiting a long time to be adopted. It makes me happy to have a forever home. I am happy to have a new Mom and Dad. I am happy to have 5 new uncles. I am happy to have 6 new cousins. I am happy to have a new name. I am happy to have a new room. I am happy to have a new home. I am happy to ride my bike every day.” 

Several months ago, I sent Herbie a stuffed seal that he fell in love with. In fact, he brought it to the court room with him today. He said to Mary when the adoption procedures were complete, “Sealo is happy that he doesn’t have to leave and that he has a permanent home.” Oh my God, the tears really flowed when she shared it with me. Here is a picture of Herbie and Sealo:

Even though it was difficult not being able to be there physically, I was there in spirit and felt such gratitude for modern technology and Facetime. This is what Holy Spirit said as I prayed about not being able to be there with them in person on this special occasion.

Breathe in my Spirit. I know it is difficult not being able to be there for your daughter’s special day. Know that she feels your essence and presence and knows more than ever before that you are with her. She remembered to call you because she wanted you to be there. It was important to her as it was to you as her mother. So feel your feelings of sadness that you are unable to be there physically, but rejoice in your ONENESS and the relationship you have with your daughter, Mary. You are both where you need to be in your lives and you both are following your hearts. There is a special bond between you and your daughter now. Open your heart even more as I shower my blessings on you as mother and daughter.

I so look forward to Mary and Herbie traveling from Rhode Island to attend our wedding in May. It is also the weekend of Mother’s day, which will be Mary’s first Mother’s Day as a new mom and spending it together will be such an amazing gift.

God open and closes doors

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Mar
4

For the past 40 years of my spirtitual journey, I have practiced the concept of “open and closed doors.” When I don’t know if something is God’s will or my will, I pray, “God open or close the door.” It hurts when the door is slammed in my face and I am left wandering in the hallway until the next door opens, especially when it takes a long time for the next door to open. Over the years, I have learned to trust that when a door is closed, there is always something better and more aligned for my highest good.

“Closed doors are a valid part of GUIDANCE. When God closes a door, it’s because there is a better plan. If He closes one door, He’ll open another, according to His timing, not mine. I keep moving in faith, even in the face of closed doors.” Basham 1975

Alan Cohen in his book, “The Grace Factor” discusses grace and GUIDANCE. He writes “Never underestimate the power of grace to find you where you are and take your hand. No situation is so dark, dismal, or disgusting that grace cannot enter and move you to a higher ground. When you stepped outside the gate of the Kingdom, a homing device was implanted in your heart. That device has functioned perfectly, constantly feeding you information about where to turn, when, and how. The fact that you have chosen not to listen to its message has not daunted it from broadcasting impeccable guidance. YOU KNOW ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU NEED IT.”

Here are a couple of examples in my life of closed doors that turned out for my highest good:

1. A year after my divorce, I met a man and we were engaged to be married. We were together for 2 years. As I look back on it today, I realize that we would not have made it together. God closed the door and I remained single for 15 years before I met Larry. If God hadn’t closed the door, I would not be where I am today. It was the desire of my heart to meet my soulmate and I “waited” in the hallway for 15 years. At times, I felt angry and didn’t understand why it took so long. I tried banging on the door because of my impatience and lack of trust. That didn’t work! I learned many lessons in the hallway about trust, surrender and God’s perfect timing. For me, it is always about TRUST and I am learning to trust that when I am ready, the door will open at the perfect and right timing.

 2. During my divorce, I prayed and asked God for guidance whether to sell my house or remortgage it because I couldn’t afford the monthly payment. When I finally made the decision to re-mortgage my house, the peace came. My ex-husband needed to sign the papers because we weren’t divorced yet, which he agreed to do. On the day of the closing, he decided he wasn’t going to sign the papers and there was nothing I could do about it. A week later, to my surprise, I received a letter from the mortgage company informing me that the interest rate had gone down (on its own) because it was an adjustable mortgage. The payment was the same as if I had re-mortgaged. God closed the door through my ex-husband’s last minute refusal to save me money.

I don’t know about you but, as a parent, it is difficult to watch your child suffer when a door is closed, especially if it is something they really wanted. Recently, one of my children applied for his dream job and it looked very promising. When he told me that he didn’t get it, my heart hurt and I felt sad and disappointed for him.

It was important for me to allow him his feelings and process. It was not the time to talk about closed doors and the door closed for his highest good. I needed to be there for him and be compassionate, loving and supportive. I had to wait until he was ready to talk about it without pushing and prying. It is easy to do a spiritual bypass which means to deny your feelings and push them down. I didn’t want that to happen to him.

When I am living in faith, I trust that a Higher Power or the Universe knows what is best for me (and my family and friends) because I don’t know what lies ahead. I am sure we have all had experiences when a door has been closed and it’s only afterward that we understand why.

Are you in the “hallway” now in some area of your life? Learning to wait with grace takes trust, surrendering to “what is” and patience. When we trust that our Higher Power has the perfect plan and timing for us, we will have peace that passes all understanding. I love the statement “God has my back.” Do you agree?

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Pat Hastings

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