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As women, we OVER-GIVE

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Sep
19

I thought my receiving “muscle” was strong so I was surprised when Larry asked me, “What do you want for your birthday?” I said, “I don’t know. I have everything I could possibly want and don’t need anything.”

He said, “How about I take you to dinner at Humuhumunukunukuapua’a at the Grand Waleia Hotel? It has just been named the best restaurant on Maui.” I had never been there before and I knew it was a very expensive restaurant. I didn’t respond right away and decided to pray about it because I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t want Larry spending that kind of money on dinner. When I prayed about it the next day, I said, “Spirit, I need guidance because spending that kind of money seems frivolous to me.”

“What is your message Holy Spirit?”

You have difficulty receiving something like this because you are accustomed to bargain shopping and feeling like you got a deal. I want you to open yourself up to receive because there is more to come. This is in preparation to receive more.  It is ok to say yes if this is what Larry wants to do for you and what you want to do for your birthday. He wants you to know how special you are and how much he loves you. 

“But Spirit, I would rather go out to dinner three times than spend it in one place.”

“That’s because you don’t believe there will be enough so you have to save it for a rainy day. That is an old belief that doesn’t serve you anymore. There is more than enough.  Allow him to give you this gift and be open to receive.” 

“I feel guilty God because I could give that money to someone who really needs it. What is that about?”

“It is an old belief that you don’t deserve to be treated in this special way. This no longer serves you and, in fact, blocks what I am doing in your life.  It is good for you to celebrate your birthday in a fine dining restaurant. There is more to come and you must be open to receive. Remember this is my money.” 

I understand there is no right or wrong way of doing what I want to do. If I want to go to 3 different restaurants and be thrifty instead of spending it all in one place, that is ok too. I am grateful Spirit brought to light the old beliefs about money (lack, not enough, not deserving) that no longer serve me. I am now open to RECEIVE only good and the riches of the kingdom, which is my birthright. I haven’t made up my mind yet what I want to do, but I know whatever it is, it will be a great birthday. The most important thing is to know that I am loved and cherished by my husband. 

In the book “One with God” the author, Margie Tyler writes, “Every day is an opportunity to RECEIVE something new. You are experiencing this expansion and are now willing to acknowledge that love exists in you and as you. OPENING ONESELF TO RECEIVE LOVE IS THE BIGGEST TASK IN LIFE. Once you’re open, the world expands exponentially and the love becomes all-inclusive. Everyone and everything is joined in that love.”

Do we deprive others of the joy of giving to us when we are unable to receive? When we are unable to receive, we block others from giving us love.

I believe that the more I love and appreciate myself, the more I can RECEIVE love from another. We are not CAPABLE of receiving love from another if we haven’t learned to love ourselves. Sure, I have experienced love from another when I didn’t love myself, but it was never enough. It wasn’t until I gave myself self-love that I was capable of RECEIVING the deep love I craved from another.  It all begins and ends with me as I awaken and come home to myself in my body, mind and spirit.

As women, we know how to give. We know how to over-give. But we have no idea how to RECEIVE. We have a serious crimp in our receiving hose.  In the past, when my ego was running the show, I unconsciously blocked love from coming in because of not feeling deserving or worthy. I believe that the more I open myself to RECEIVE love, the more I can give LOVE.

MY HEART OPENS TO ALLOW MY DEEPEST GOOD – Julia Cameron, author of Artists Way

“Acceptance, openness, allowing are the keys to manifestation. I do not need to will my good. I need to accept my good. I do not need to will my being loved. I need only accept my being loved. I open my heart to accept and allow the good which I desire. I am in God and God is in me. As I yearn for God, I yearn for my own true nature. As I ask God to fulfill me, I ask that I fulfill myself. There is no distance, no need to please or cajole, whimper or manipulate. It is the pleasure of the entire Universe to expand as it desires. My desires are the desires of the Universe. They are fulfilled by the Universe acting through me, toward me.”

 

 

I heard the crash and came running in

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Sep
8

What I appreciate about my relationship with Larry is how we both take responsibility for our behavior and actions. We have a lot in common and are both pretty easy going and have learned to go with the flow. We respect and support each other’s needs and what is important to each of us.

Larry and I love being retired. He does what he wants to do during the day and I do what I want to do and we come together at night to relax and share about the day.  We take day trips and go out to breakfast and lunch often. We dance, pray, play and are writing our book together.  He likes to stay home more than I do and I like to play with the girls. I like my quiet time and have my “Pat” days when I want to. In other words, we give each other FREEDOM to do what is important to each of us. It works for us as we are creating a “conscious” love relationship and are enjoying the “fruits of our labor” with Spirit. We are remembering that we are all ONE and connected and there is only LOVE.

But we do have a major difference that we are working on as we want to be respectful of one another. We know that neither one of us is right or wrong, just different perspectives. I like “stuff” which he thinks is “clutter.” I have candles and flowers and pretty things around. He has been great with giving me the freedom to decorate the way I want to because it didn’t seem to matter to him. Larry is more of a “minimalist” and prefers not to have things around, especially in the kitchen. Perhaps because he was in the catering business for so many years, he likes things the way he likes them and I try to be sensitive to that.

When I moved into our current home 3 ½ years ago, it was fully furnished and I had my own stuff that I had accumulated. When Larry moved in 2 ½ years ago, he brought his stuff. There is little storage room in our home and things got stuffed into the kitchen cabinets. I managed to organize it so everything was in its place, or so I thought it was organized and in its place!

It all came to a head when I heard the “crash” of glass in the kitchen. I came running in from outside to see what happened. There was glass all over the floor and counters. Larry was very upset and yelled, “I am so f………frustrated with this clutter.” I had never seen him so angry and it scared me. He is usually very calm.

Instead of staying there and helping him clean up the glass which I would have done in the past to make everything ok, I immediately went back outside to calm myself down. I am grateful that I had the presence of mind to keep my mouth shut and not argue. I sat outside praying and feeling my feelings.

When I came in from outside an hour later, I went into the room to discuss what happened. Larry said, “I have a letter to write on my computer and left the room.” I assumed he wasn’t ready to talk about what happened. I went to the other bedroom and read and prayed.

What upset me, other than the fact that he was so angry, is that I didn’t have any idea that he felt so frustrated and strongly about the “clutter” as he called it.  I wasn’t willing to take responsibility for something I didn’t know about. He had a responsibility to “lovingly” share with me things that were bothering him. An hour later, he came into the room and kind of apologized, but minimized what happened and said, “I don’t want to make a big deal out of this.”

It was a big deal because I had never seen him like that and he scared the S…. out of me. I also wondered if there were other things that bothered him that he wasn’t talking about.

The next morning when we talked about it, Larry said, “I didn’t realize how much the kitchen cabinets bothered me until the glass shattered all over the place. I don’t want to complain about everything, so I usually just ignore things.” I was quiet and listened to him as he shared his perspective.

He admitted that he was lazy and could have done something about the cabinets if he didn’t like them or he could have talked to me about them before he exploded. I admitted that I was also lazy and instead of taking things out that we weren’t using, I kept finding space for them. He agreed to pay attention to when something is bothering him and to let me know and not ignore it. I agreed to not put anything in the closet unless I take something out.

It is my belief that Spirit uses everything for our highest good. Since the “crash” there is a fire under my butt to clean out other closets that have things stuffed into them.  It really feels lighter.

Larry

We had an opportunity to address a situation that we both had different perspectives on.  Pat loves paintings and pictures and there isn’t much room on our walls for any more pictures or paintings.  She also loves likes rocks, crystals, statues, and flowers.  She receives great satisfaction and peace from having all these things around.  She loves to go out Saturday mornings to garage sales to find treasures.  I am fine with that and encourage her to go and have fun.

This week, I realized I wasn’t fine with it after the bowl crashed on the counter.  We have little storage space and trying to fit two households into the cabinets is pretty difficult to do.  Our kitchen cabinets are packed jam full of plates, bowl, cups, and glasses.

I had just gotten up from a late nap and was still kind of groggy. When I opened a kitchen cabinet door and reached for a bowl, a dish fell out and crashed into a million pieces on the counter. I was shocked and frightened.  My comfort level went from a calm level of zero to an alarmed level of 1000.  I yelled “I can’t stand all this  #!# *! clutter anymore.” I was angry and didn’t like being startled like that. I proceeded to clean up the mess and started to calm down.  I knew I needed to be alone for awhile. Pat had never seen me this angry so it was upsetting and scary for her.

As I took time to think about what happened, I realized that I wasn’t upset with Pat, but I was upset with myself.  I take care of placing all the cups, glasses, plates back into the cabinets because the cabinets are high and it’s easier for me to reach than it is for Pat. I have been living under these circumstances for more than 2 1/2 years and wondered why I didn’t do something about it up until now?  The truth is it wasn’t important enough and I was just too lazy to do or say anything about it.

Pat encouraged me to speak up when things bother me, rather than let them build up and then explode. I really didn’t know it was bothering me until the crash. I work at being flexible and not complaining. I agreed to do that rather than seeing it as complaining.

The next morning we discussed what happened and what we could do to resolve it. I had the idea to buy some big plastic bins and put the things we are not using into them. We spent the morning going through the cabinets and cleaning them out.  Sometimes I’m not the “brightest bulb in the package” because I never even thought of doing this until now. The lesson learned is to pay attention if something is bothering me, rather than ignore it and do something before I blow my cool. I’ll do better the next time. Pat agreed to not put anything new in the kitchen cabinet unless she takes something out.

In the past, I would have really beaten up on myself. I didn’t do that and was able to take responsibility for my actions and move on.

I was so excited about giving

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Aug
29

About 4 months ago, my friend, Karen, was inspired to start “Miracle Monday” called the 111 Project on Facebook ( http://createheaven.com/), I called Karen immediately and told her that I wanted to be a part of it because I knew it was inspired by Spirit. It spoke to my heart, and I decided to pray about it to see how Spirit wanted me to be involved.

Here is a brief description of the 111Project

“Have you been concerned and uncertain about what’s happening? When everything seems so chaotic, how many times have you asked, what can I do? Maybe the inspiration of this 111 Project will guide you to the answer. This 111 Project supports you in the opportunity to heal yourself, heal others, and create the change you are seeking. So, are you ready to take a big leap into greater love and share in miracles with others? This is an invitation to the 111 Project and to join many others in the intention to heal all, including you, from the suffering of separateness and to wake up together and remember that we are all one and the return to love is essential for our happiness and world peace.

Every time I read about what others were doing on Facebook with the 111 Project, I cringed because I wasn’t doing anything, even though I said I wanted to be a part of it. In all honesty, I had some fear about making a financial commitment every week for a year. Once I made the commitment to contribute a few weeks ago, I trusted Spirit would guide me as to where to send my contribution each week.

I trust in divine timing and after praying about it, I made the commitment to contribute $33 a week to a worthy cause for one year. This is my fourth week and I look forward to “Miracle Monday” and being guided where to contribute my money. It is a great experience to feel like I am doing something to heal the separation and heal myself from fear.  The first 3 weeks were easy. I sent it to You Caring (group empowering single woman who were homeless), No Child Hungry and Maui Food Bank.                 .

I would like to share what happened this week:

Spirit put it on my heart to go to the ladies room at McDonald’s, (where many of the homeless in our community spend time) and leave my contribution.  On the morning of “Miracle Monday”, I went to the bank to get 33 one dollar bills. I had a card all ready to put the money in when I realized I forgot the card at home.  I heard Spirit say, “The person that I want to receive this is not there today, so bring it back tomorrow.” I began to pray for the person who would receive my contribution and that they would be open to receiving God’s love.

The message that I wrote in the card said, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and rely not on your own understanding.” I also wrote, “God has your back and don’t give up.” On the outside of the envelope I wrote “PLEASE TAKE – FOR SOMEONE WHO NEEDS IT.”

When I arrived at the McDonald’s the next day, I bought an iced coffee and sat down at a table. I then went to the ladies room and taped the envelope to the mirror and left the bathroom. I just kept praying for the person who God wanted to bless. Over the course of 15 minutes, I watched 4 women go into the bathroom and had no idea who or if anyone would take the envelope. I looked at their faces as they left the bathroom, but saw no indication that they were the one who needed it.

When I finished my drink, I went back into the ladies room and the envelope was gone. I felt excited and said, “YEA” as my Spirit soared. I trusted that the woman who received the contribution knew she was not alone and loved by God.

I was detached from the outcome and didn’t have to know who the woman was who received it. All I knew was that I was guided to Mc Donald’s at the perfect and right time. When we give, we have no idea how our actions will benefit another human being.

I remember thirty-five years ago when I received a card in the mail with a $10 bill in it. I stepped out in faith and bought a blouse that was $10 when I heard the small, still voice of God say, “Buy it and I will provide.” Immediately after hearing the voice, I returned home and found the card and a $10 bill in my mailbox. To this day, I have no idea where the money came from. I still tell the story whenever I can and get the same reaction every time. God is good!

Please consider checking out the 111 Project on Facebook and join in healing the separation and knowing we are all ONE. Thank you Karen for saying yes to Spirit and birthing the 111 Project into the Universe.

It broke my heart and I was miserable

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Aug
19

No matter what is going on around me and no matter how many people I love are suffering, I believe it is my responsibility to keep my love vibration/energy high. I am responsible for my own peace, joy and happiness. I do this by practicing gratitude, surrendering to “what is” and trusting in God’s love and plan for my life and the life of my loved ones.

Michael Singer writes in his book “The Untethered Soul” about the path of Unconditional Happiness.

“We have one choice in life and that is: Do I want to be happy or do I not want to be happy? Once you have made that choice, your path through life becomes really clear. This is truly a spiritual path, and it is as direct and sure a path to Awakening as possibly could exist. When everything is going well, it is easy to be happy. But the moment something difficult happens, it’s not so easy. Things are going to happen. The real question is whether you want to be happy regardless of what happens. 

The purpose of your life is to enjoy and learn from your experiences. You were not put on earth to suffer. You are not helping anyone by being miserable. You gain nothing by being bothered by life’s events. It doesn’t change the world; you just suffer. Events don’t determine whether or not you are going to be happy. You determine whether or not you are going to be happy. If you can live this way, your heart will be so open and your Spirit will be so free, that you will soar up to the heavens.” 

It is my belief that everything happens for a reason and that I attract everything into my life for my highest good. Especially when I don’t understand what’s going on and it may not look like it’s for my highest good, my faith journey teaches me to trust in the power and energy of Love to guide and protect me.

It is not always easy to be grateful and trust as I look around the world and see what’s going on. Fear and worry can take over, if I allow it. I know people are stressed and there is a lot of suffering going on. Two of my close girlfriends are battling cancer and another friend just experienced a tragic loss in her family.

A very good friend of mine, Linda, recently fell and hit her head. She was in intensive care and had surgery on spine and has pins in her neck. She is in excruciating pain and has a very long rehab. recovery ahead of her.

As you can imagine, my heart was broken when I heard about it. I couldn’t understand how this could be for her highest good and I was very sad and miserable.  All I could do was pray and connect with her heart and send her love (which is the very best thing I could do). Linda is a woman of faith and will not give up. She is determined to heal and trust God. I see Linda healed and whole and I am expecting a miracle for her. Please join me and pray for Linda’s complete recovery.

I have had the privilege of walking Linda’s journey with her as her Spiritual Coach for eight years. Linda is the author of “Voices of the Heart” and is in the process of producing a movie about her life. She KNOWS in her heart that this is God’s plan despite the ups and downs of producing a movie. She not only talks the talk, but walks the walk. It is her passion to inspire and change lives through her message to be grateful and live life to the fullest.

I am not helping myself or Linda by staying miserable and worrying about her. Of course, I have compassion and love and will continue to pray and send her love and trust in God’s mercy.

I remember Michael Singer’s words. “You were not put on earth to suffer. You are not helping anyone by being miserable. You gain nothing by being bothered by life’s events. It doesn’t change the world; you just suffer.”

“You cannot get sick enough to help sick people get better. You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive. It is only in your THRIVING that you have anything to offer anyone. If you want to be of an ADVANTAGE to others, be as tapped in, turned in, turned on as you can possibly be.”  Abraham 

How about you? Is there someone in your life who you are worried about? Have you made the choice to be HAPPY no matter what the circumstances are around you or do you cave in when things happen in your outside world that upset you? The spiritual life is not for the faint of heart. Living in gratitude, accepting “what is”, and trusting the energy and light of Love are spiritual tools that will keep your energy/vibration high. It is there that we will be the light for others and be vessels of love.

 

Our 2nd RI wedding

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Jul
10

By the time you receive this, we will be flying over the ocean to Rhode Island for our 2nd wedding/reception with our family and friends. My son, Tim, who has performed weddings in the past will be the officiate and renew our wedding vows of 2 months!!! Larry’s response was “I want to make sure it takes.” Here is a blessing for our wedding.

BLESSING OF THE HANDS

Please face each other and take each other’s hands so that you may see the gift that they are to you.

These are the hands of your best friend, strong and full of love for you. They are holding yours today as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as you you continue your future together.

These are the hands that will passionately love and cherish you through the years and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when you fear or grief fills your mind.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will give your strength when you need it, support and encouragement to pursue your dreams, and comfort you in difficult times.

Most importantly, always remember that these are God’s hands loving you.

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness and love with just a touch.   

I am very excited to see my children, grandchildren, cousins and old friends and colleagues who will be joining us to celebrate our love. Larry’s brother and sister-in-law and 2 sons and his grandson will be with us too. The wedding/reception is at my daughter, Mary’s, farm. She is putting up a tent and lights and, of course, there will be dancing. Our children have never met so we are looking forward to them meeting one another.

We are also having our annual family reunion the next day, which is always a lot of fun. My son, Jimmy, and daughter-in-law, Lara, are expecting their second baby so we will be welcoming him into our family. Lara is due on July 20th and we are hoping our new grandson will make his entrance into the world early so we can meet him when we are there.

I feel so blessed to have such wonderful friends and a family that is so loving and supportive. My son, Brian’s, significant other, Traci, has offered to make quite a bit of the food (she is a great cook) which is a huge help. Brian is picking up the plates, glasses and tablecloths that we rented for the day. Brian said, “Mom, don’t worry about anything, I will take care of it.” Friends are bringing appetizers and salads. Oh happy day!!!! Another wedding and reception. How much better does it get than this?

Traveling to Rhode Island with jet lag and being “on the go” for 2 weeks visiting friends and family can be challenging when you are used to a rather quiet life on Maui (and naps when we need them). Larry and I decided to make a list of how we envision the trip and what we will be practicing.

  • We will leave our “complain brain” at home
  • We will live in the moment – not the past or the future
  • We will accept whatever happens as being for our highest good
  • We will see everything as an opportunity, rather than a problem
  • We will stay open to the energy and light of love
  • We will practice an attitude of gratitude
  • We will not allow fear to come near and if it does, we will kick fear in the rear

I will not be writing for the next 2 weeks and I look forward to sharing with you our adventure in Rhode Island when we return. I trust that everything will flow with peace, ease and grace.

 

Oprah on Maui

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Jul
5

To think I live on Maui where Oprah Winfrey lives is beyond my comprehension. She lives up the mountain in beautiful Haku on a sprawling ranch and organic farm. I have walked on her street and could see her home from a distance. Although I have been living on Maui for 5 ½ years now, I haven’t seen her until yesterday. I was one of the 5,000 people that were blessed to hear her speak at the MACC (Maui Arts & Cultural Center) and it was very exciting as it has always been my dream to see her for as long as I can remember.

Yesterday, she made her first public appearance since moving to Maui in 2002. She shared her philosophy for healthy living and living your best life. She began her talk with humor and said, “I am not sure how to give health and well-being tips to people who already live in the best place in the world. What do I look like trying to tell you all who had the sense enough to move here, live here, raise your families how to live your best life? I could take a few lessons from you.” Of course, the audience went crazy and cheered her on.

She shared that one of her practices that has been vital to her well-being is learning to express gratitude. Every day she journals at least 5 things she is grateful for. She said, “I know so many people who are in that race to have more, be more, do more and they are never content. Live in the space of contentment for where you are, especially if, it really isn’t where you want to be right now.

She shared the importance of knowing what your intention is in everything you do. She admits to having the “Disease to Please” at one time in her life. She learned that the outcome to everything you do is determined by the energy of your motivation and intention. The key for living your best life is to align your personality with what your soul came here to do to in service to something bigger than yourself.

What a thrill to be in Oprah’s presence and energy. She was so authentic and real. I could see myself

sitting with her and having a cup of tea and feeling very comfortable. There was a whole section of VIP seats right in front of the stage that were empty when we arrived. About an hour before Oprah came on the stage, they opened the seats up to the public and my friends, Kati and Juane, scurried to our new VIP seats directly in front of Oprah.

When Spirit put it on our hearts that Larry and I were to write a book together, he said to me out of the clear blue, “I have something to tell you.” I said, “What is that?” He said, “Oprah is going to read our book and promote it.” Truly, I had forgotten that was my dream when I wrote “Simply a Woman of Faith.” I certainly am getting closer living on Maui where she lives for that to happen.

When my son, Tim, heard that I was going to see Oprah, he wrote and said, “Mom, throw your book on the stage for her. I did have my book with me in my purse but no way was I going to throw the book on the stage. I didn’t want that much attention and didn’t want to be thrown out

The next day, I started to think about how I could meet her or get her address to send her a note introducing myself to her and sharing our “love story.” Spirit stopped me in my tracks! I realized that was the old paradigm of making things happen and trying to push my way around.

Today, I practice trusting, allowing and surrendering that if we are meant to meet Oprah, it will happen organically and naturally. When I surrender and “show up” for life, miracles happen all the time. I am always in awe of how the Universe has everything planned for my highest good.

Of course, I will visualize Larry and me meeting Oprah and giving her our new book when it is completed. When I told, Lisa Tener, the editor of “Simply a Woman of Faith”, that I had seen Oprah and that Larry and I were writing a book together she wrote back and said, “I am envisioning you getting to know Oprah personally. I can see it!! This is exciting that you are writing a book together. Is it about love?” I wrote back and said, “Yes, it is about Conscious Loving and the sequel to “Simply a Woman of Faith.”

My daughter, Mary, and my grandson, Herbie, are coming to stay with us for 6 weeks in February. Mary plans on volunteering on organic farms and offering her 6 weeks Herbal program that has been very successful in Rhode Island. Wouldn’t that be something if she had the opportunity to work on Oprah’s organic farm! Like her mother, Mary is a woman of faith.

Miracles happen all the time when we believe. I have a picture of Oprah on my refrigerator. Will you please visualize with me that if this is God’s will for us, it will happen with peace, ease and grace. Thank you.

I crashed after the wedding

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Jun
23

I have to admit I am a recovering “RUSHAHOLIC, BUSYAHOLIC AND DOAHOLIC.” I have to be honest and admit I had a RELAPSE. I felt irritable, restless, tired and nothing seemed to satisfy me. I had lost my peace and didn’t know how, why or what to do about it, at first.

These are old behaviors that no longer serve me or make me feel good about myself. For much of my life, when I was doing, achieving, pleasing others and trying to make things happen in my life, I felt a sense of control and power. Today, I know these behaviors will make me sick. When I had a to-do list and crossed things off, I felt worthy of love. I enjoyed being busy because I felt like I was valuable when I was achieving and accomplishing so much. Have you ever felt like this?

Some of the signs of a DOAHOLIC are that you fill your calendar with things to do and tasks to complete. Your “free time” must be used effectively or you feel guilty or selfish. You are unable to RELAX and do nothing. With any addiction, it is because we try to avoid our feelings rather than go within and deal with them. I stayed busy because I didn’t want to feel the pain inside of me such as unworthiness, inadequacy, fear, shame and not being good enough.

I know today that these behaviors are ego-generated and fear based and not the truth of who I am or what God wants for me in my life. You may not be a DOAHOLIC, BUSYAHOLIC OR RUSHAHOLIC. You may suffer from being a FOODAHOLIC, WORKAHOLIC, ALCOHOLIC, GAMBLAHOLIC, or SHOPAHOLIC. The list is endless.

Unfortunately, this “pattern of energy” of always having to do more, look good and be more left me exhausted and unfulfilled because I never felt like I was doing enough. Can you relate?

My life is different today. Instead of pushing, achieving and making things happen, I am learning to allow and surrender to the Love within me to guide me. I am practicing “living in the moment” and letting go of worry and fear. I know that Love is all there is and everything else is just a dream. Today I proclaim to be a “PEACEAHOLIC.”

Peace is very important to me and my daily prayer and intention is to be peaceful, to love and to serve. I don’t like it when I lose my peace and I am restless or irritable, especially with Larry. I want to fix it and change it and I have a difficult time “accepting what is.”

As I said, I had a relapse to old behaviors of BUSYNESS AND DOING. I prayed and asked God for help. Here is what happened this week:

I felt tired, restless and irritable and couldn’t figure out why. I felt some guilt and shame because I thought I SHOULD be blissful and happy because we were just married and my dream had come true. At first, I felt embarrassed and didn’t want to admit it or talk about it.

I decided to Google “after wedding crash.” Sure enough, there were many articles to read and this was very REAL After the high and excitement of the wedding, all of the energy put out with planning, decision making and the attention I received, of course, there would be a crash and a feeling of “Now what.” I missed the DOING and excitement of the high! It felt just like the addict who puts the needle in his arm to get a high. I then realized I was in withdrawal.

The first step for me was asking for help from Spirit. The second step was admitting that I had relapsed to old behaviors and that I had these feelings. The third step was to be honest and share them with Larry. Of course, Larry was so loving, understanding and compassionate. He encouraged me to rest and relax and not do anything to push myself. I listened and spent the day resting, relaxing and loving myself. It is amazing how quickly I moved through it and am back to the truth of who I am as a Divine being. I am valuable and lovable and don’t need to prove myself or achieve anything to be loved.

It is easy to relapse to old behaviors or addictions, whether it be to food, doing, alcohol or shopping. The important thing is to not beat up on ourselves and stay there. We need to be loving, compassionate and forgiving toward ourselves.

I had lost my peace and recognized something was off and I didn’t feel in my center. I want balance and peace in my life. Because I am vigilant and “go within” for my answers in daily prayer and meditation, this only lasted for a couple of days. I am grateful to Spirit for the love in my life and the vessel of love I am being called to be in the world.

Listening to the small, still voice of God within

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Jun
15

My friend, Diane, and I went to lunch yesterday to discuss my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” I had given her my book a year ago and she promised to read it, even though she said she wasn’t a reader. We agreed to get together when she finished it to discuss the book and answer any questions she had.

After catching up with one another over lunch, we began to talk about the book. She asked, “Pat, I want to know how you know it’s the voice of God speaking to you and not just your own voice or the ego or your higher self.”

People often ask me this question and I answered, “I don’t always know for sure, but I have learned to trust Spirit and the voice of God within. Every time I listen and do what I am hearing from the big things to the smallest of things, it confirms that it was the voice of God when I experience the results. It takes practice and the more I practice, the more I trust the voice within, which is God. I practice listening and going within all day long whether it be asking for guidance or what to do next.

Diane asked me, “Pat, what is the highlight of the book for you.” I answered, “This happened over 20 years ago and I will never forget it. It was when I heard Spirit tell me to walk up to a woman on the beach in Newport, R.I. and tell her that God loved her. I trembled inside and felt really scared to walk up to her, even though earlier that day, I had asked God to lead me to someone who really needed to feel His love. After I told her that God loved her, she put her hands in her face and sobbed for a long time. Of course, I didn’t know it at the time but right before I walked over to her, she was contemplating suicide and really needed to hear that she was loved and not alone.” Diane and I had a lovely lunch discussing the importance of listening and stepping out in faith.

When I took my walk this morning on the beach, I thought about my conversation with Diane the day before. It had been a long time since I had such a dramatic message like I had that day and I wanted to be open to be a vessel of love and be God’s instrument.

I asked Spirit to lead me to someone to give them a message. I sensed it would be a woman walking on the beach alone. I went within to listen to Spirit and this is what I heard, “I will lead you and you will know in your heart who she is when you see her. She has been asking for guidance concerning a project or something new in her life and she’s not sure it is my will. Tell her to step out in faith, that it is my will that she has been asking guidance for.”

I asked Spirit to lead me as each woman walked toward me on the beach. I asked, “Is she the one I am to give this message to?” I kept hearing, “No, no, no.” I was beginning to wonder if I had really heard the voice of God in the first place. I was kind of relieved because I didn’t want to look foolish and go up to someone and have them think I was crazy.

I then spotted her from a distance as she walked toward me. We had smiled at one another when we past each other earlier on the walk. I heard the small, still voice of God say, “She is the one.” Before I had time to chicken out, she was in front of me. I stopped and introduced myself to her, which is common in Maui because everyone is friendly and pleasant. We chatted for a few minutes and she told me she was also from New York. After some small talk, I blurted out the message that I had received for her. She appeared touched and put her hand on her heart and said, “I pray all day and I hold this in my heart and will meditate about it today when I go home. Thank you so much.”

As we continued to chat with one another, I asked her what she did for work and she said, “I am a personal trainer/wellness coach in several gyms on Maui and am working with the county to develop free programs for seniors. Now I was interested! She told me about a new program that she is starting in August where my yoga classes are held every Monday. I gave her my card and she promised to call me with the information about the new program.

It is my belief that nothing happens by mistake and we are always being led. When we learn to trust the voice within, doors open and miracles happen. God is good.

Our new adventure as a married couple

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Jun
5

Over the years several people have commented to me that I need to do a sequel to “Simply a Woman of Faith.” My friend, Joseph, (who has known me since I moved to Maui and knew that the desire of my heart was to meet my soul mate), recently said to Larry and I, “You have to write a book together, your story is like a modern day fairy tale.”

Since our marriage, I have heard this from several others and am beginning to believe it is God’s will for us. Friends are sharing with me that our relationship is a model for them in what they want and they know is attainable because of what they witness in our love relationship.

Writing a blog every week is different from writing a book together. Of course, some of the material we have written about this past year and our relationship would go into the book. Writing a book takes commitment, time, money and energy. The easier part, if you will, is writing it. The hard part is getting it out there for people to read and that includes marketing and book tours and giving talks.

I had to ask myself, “Do I have the energy for it and do I really want to do this?” I like my life the way it is and doing what I want when I want to. I was definitely in resistance and didn’t want to do it. I met with my friend, Margie, author of “One With God” a few days before we were married and she said she had a message from the Holy Spirit and that we were to write a book together.

If Spirit was speaking to me and I thought He was, Larry had to be on board with writing a book together. I did not want to write alone and I would not nag Larry to do it. He had to also know that it was God’s will for his life and this was a joint effort.

One day last week I wrote in my journal, “I am willing to write a book together because I think it is your will, but I need a sign. I don’t know how or what will happen. All I know is that I am willing and open. I need you to work in Larry’s heart and let him know it is your will.”

After I wrote this, I asked Holy Spirit for a message: “Watch and wait and be patient. I will speak to Larry’s heart.” The very next day, while we were having coffee, I shared an email with Larry that I had received that morning. It was from a friend from Unity Church. She sent a video of a TV show she had interviewed me on 6 years ago when I visited Maui for 1 month. I had no idea why she would send it to me now.

Larry had not seen the interview, so we decided to watch it together. In the TV interview I share why it took me 6 years to write my book. I had all kinds of excuses like: I don’t believe in myself, nobody would read it, I don’t have the time or money, I don’t know how to market and on and on.

As we sat and watched it together, I realized I had the same excuses today about writing a book that I had when I wrote “Simply a Woman of Faith” 8 years ago. Larry had the same excuses as I had and we

looked at one another and wondered if this was a sign from Spirit.

After we finished watching the TV show, I said, “Why did she send it to me now?” I emailed my friend and asked her why she sent it to me today? She wrote back and said, “Jason and I were looking at past TV shows and your name came up so we started to talk about you. I felt STRONGLY and so did Jason that we were to send it to you today.”

I am grateful that they listened to their inner voice and sent it to us when they did. Of course, they had no idea that we were considering writing a book together and that I had asked for a sign the day before. God does answer prayer and gives us what we need when we ask.

What worked for me in the past to finish my book was to make a commitment and be accountable to someone each week that I would work on the book. I prayed and asked Spirit who I was to be accountable to. That night I met with my friend, Kerri, and I shared what was going on with the book. She shared she had a project that she was working on and also felt drawn to be accountable to someone. We did a hand shake and agreed to be accountable to one another. Every Sunday, we will email or text that we did what we said we would do.

It truly is one day at a time and I am trusting that we are being guided every step of the way. We will be provided for and people will show up to help us. God has a plan and all we have to do is be willing and say “yes” to that plan. More than anything, I want to be aligned with God’s will in my life. If that means writing another book together, I say SO IT IS and I trust it will flow with peace, ease and grace.

Is there an area in your life where you are being called to be accountable so you can be in alignment with God’s will for your life?

My distress over my wedding dress

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Jun
5

This may appear like a trivial blog, but I think it has some deep significance in living my life to the fullest and not being attached to “anything.” If I want to live in peace, there are some things I must practice daily. Have you ever had a piece of clothing that you absolutely loved and felt terrific and beautiful wearing it? I am sure all of us had this experience at one time or another. It may have wonderful memories attached to it and you hate to part with it, even when it doesn’t fit you anymore.

Well, I felt this way about my wedding dress. I couldn’t wait to wear it on our wedding day. It was the first dress I tried on and I fell in love with it. I loved everything about it, especially the way it flowed when I twirled around and danced with Larry at our reception. When I put my flowered haku and lei on I felt like a Goddess and like I was royalty.

Larry and I are planning a trip to Rhode Island in July to celebrate our marriage with family and friends. I am looking forward to my son, Tim, performing a special wedding ceremony for us. We are looking forward to this special time with everyone. Of course, we both planned on wearing our wedding garments.

A few days after the wedding, I looked at my dress hanging in the closet and noticed some stains on the front of the dress. They weren’t real obvious but I could certainly see them and didn’t want to wear the dress with stains on it. I decided to wash the dress and tried everything from Spray and Wash, Mr. Muscle and even googled tough stains and used baking soda for 3 hours, but to no avail.

Here is what happened: I was given a beautiful Jade lei by some friends at our wedding. I didn’t know that the oil from the lei would stain my beautiful white dress. I was bummed out, to say the least, and had a difficult time letting it go. I felt sad and disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to wear the dress that I loved so much again to our wedding reception in Rhodes Island. I took it to the cleaners today and trying to be positive that the stains can be removed and that I can wear it to the celebration in Rhode Island. If not, I trust there is a better plan and will wait to see what Spirit provides.

It seemed ridiculous that I had a hard time letting it go and shifting my perception when there were serious things going on in the world that were much more significant than a stained dress. I asked Holy Spirit what its message was:.

“It is just a dress. Do not be attached to it or to ANYTHING because it is all fleeting and not real. Love is all that is real. It is only your outer garment. What is inside is what is important and that is what is real and lasting. You must ask me for help to shift this and accept “what is.” Can I not provide something more beautiful for you that you will equally enjoy when you trust me?”

After I prayed and asked for help to let it go, I felt better inside. I am trusting that God will provide and something even better will show up if the dry cleaners are unable to remove the stains. Perhaps I was just to wear this dress for our sacred ceremony as a reminder of God’s perfect pure love. I have beautiful pictures and memories that will last in my heart forever.

It is my belief that EVERYTHING is planned in the mind of God and everything is in perfect and divine order, especially when I am disappointed and don’t understand why things happen the way they

do. For me, it is always about trusting more deeply that all is well and being handled by God.

So whether it is something big like the loss of a loved one, or a job or something small like a stained dress, we need God’s help to get us through whatever we are going through.

Love is always there to comfort and guide us and we are never alone. All we have to do is ask for what we need. What is most important to me is peace in my heart. When I cannot accept “what is,” I lose my peace.

We always have a CHOICE . We can trust God and surrender or stay stuck in the muck wanting our own way and being miserable. What are you choosing today?

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
PO Box 28844
Providence, RI 02908
pat@simplyawomanoffaith.com
401-862-8859