We all want to be appreciated; it feels good to be appreciated when we have done something nice for someone else. I go out of my way to appreciate others when they have done something nice or been kind to me. I love to compliment others when they have something pretty on or have beautiful eyes.
But, there is a problem when I obsessively look (outside) to others to love, accept and appreciate me. When that happens, I leave myself and lose myself because I want someone to fill the void, instead of me filling it with my own love, acceptance and appreciation. It’s been an interesting week to witness my “old behaviors rearing their ugly head.” Thankfully, I have the tools to come HOME to myself and take my power back.
We all have the power to depreciate or appreciate ourselves. The choice is ours. To depreciate means something has lost its value over the years. To appreciate means its value has increased and we recognize the quality, significance or magnitude of something. I am choosing to appreciate myself and recognize my value.
I shared with Larry, “I’m feeling stressed and I’m tired.” I know that moving is one of the top stressors, especially when combining households and letting go of things that are no longer useful to make room for Larry’s things. I’m also helping Larry get ready to move here and get rid of things he doesn’t need. On top of that, although I have truly enjoyed it, I have had friends staying at my home for the past few months. In addition, I have been preparing for a 4- day retreat which is the weekend before Larry moves in.
Although Larry was attentive and understanding when I shared my stress with him, I didn’t think he was really able to grasp the magnitude of my experience of stress. Perhaps I wanted sympathy, even though I said I wasn’t complaining, just acknowledging my feelings. I felt annoyed with him, which is an indication I am giving my power away. Deep down, I was looking to him to appreciate me and say, “You are doing such a great job and I would be stressed if I were you too.”
Looking to others, no matter how much they want to help or love us cannot and will not fill the “hole in our soul.” It will never be enough. They are not meant to fill us up, so no matter how hard they try, it is futile.
It is only God that can fill the “hole in our soul” because that is how we were created. What I have learned is that I need to give myself the love, acceptance and appreciation that I crave from others. Instead of looking to Larry to appreciate the magnitude of my stress, I needed to appreciate myself. It’s my appreciation that I crave, not the world’s.
When this awareness came to the light while I was praying, it felt like there was a shift inside of me and the stress lifted. I still had all same things to do, but I felt a new freedom inside. What I thought I needed from Larry, I gave to myself. This is what I did to re-focus and come HOME to myself.
- I wrote a list of 50 things that I appreciated about myself. What I appreciate, appreciate
- I listened to my son, Tim’s, visualization on loving, accepting and appreciating ourselves
- I focused on what was good and working in my life
- I increased my daily gratitude
- I forgave myself for giving my power away and leaving myself
- I focused on giving myself pleasure and having fun; i.e. swimming, walking, dancing, snorkeling
- I had a massage
- When I went to bed, I thought about all the things I appreciate about myself.
I depreciate my value and worth when I look to others for my value. I appreciate my value and worth when I give it to myself. Here are some things we do to depreciate ourselves on a daily basis. Which ones can you relate to?
- When we judge ourselves to be “not good enough” or strong enough
- When we say YES when we mean NO
- When we choose fear instead of love
- When we don’t speak our truth and live in integrity
- When we don’t allow ourselves to feel our feelings
- When we want to please others at the expense of ourselves
- When we don’t trust ourselves and our intuition
- When we beat up on ourselves and live from the “shoulds”
- When we try to control others
- When we procrastinate about making important decisions (or small ones)
- When we think we have all the answers and don’t listen to others
- When we don’t pray/meditate and depend on Spirit
- When we don’t take time for ourselves to enjoy life and use our gifts
- When we don’t live in the present moment and worry about the past or the future
- When we don’t know how to relax and just BE
- When we are unable or unwilling to forgive
- When we medicate our feelings through addictions i.e. alcohol, drugs, shopping, busyness, food, gambling, codependency
I am grateful for the daily lessons to grow and live my best life. We must be willing to go within and listen to our souls. We must be willing to change and do whatever we need to do to heal the “hole in our souls.” We have the POWER to change because the POWER is within us to live a magnificent life. I encourage you to live your life to the fullest, because you are worth it. We are not promised tomorrow.
As I started to write my blog this morning, I opened to a reading about faith that I would like to share with you. It’s from “Creative Ideas” by Ernest Holmes.
“Then we can rest in complete confidence that our words, spoken in faith, are the presence and power and activity of the Spirit in us. All sense of making things happen or holding thoughts or uncertainty is put aside, and with childlike acceptance we make known our requests with thanksgiving.”
It’s hard to believe that I moved into my beautiful home overlooking the ocean on April 15th of last year. Only a few days after that, my eyes and heart were opened to the love of my life, Larry. After being best friends for 2 years with no romantic feelings, it took me by surprise (my God is a God of surprises) when I started to have some stirrings within. I dropped the bomb on April 23rd when I informed him I was having feelings for him.
Now here it is almost a year later and Larry will be moving in on March 26th and we will be living in this beautiful home together. It’s a big move for both of us, but we both know in our hearts that it is the next right step for our relationship. I have been living alone for 15 years and Larry has been alone for 3 years so I am sure it will be a transition time for both of us, but we are both expecting it to flow with peace, ease and grace. We get what we expect, right!
Before I met my soul mate, I was concerned what it would look like because I liked my “alone time” and independence. I liked the freedom of doing what I wanted to do and when I wanted to do it. I didn’t want to lose myself as I did in past relationships. As a codependent, I looked to others to fill me and define me, rather than going within and filling myself up. I was also focused on others, at the expense of myself.
It took me many years to find myself and love myself and I didn’t want a new relationship to come in the way and destroy that. After being in a relationship with Larry for almost a year, I can truly say that my love relationship with myself has continued to grow and deepen. Today, I have myself and a man in my life that I can love and who loves and adores me. I think it’s called “interdependence” and it feels very healthy. It is not perfect, but we have learned to negotiate and focus on what’s important to both of us. Our time together is very precious and we take nothing for granted. Each day is a gift that we are grateful for.
As I have shared in past blogs, I “stepped out in faith” when I moved into my present home because my rent more than doubled. I know it was God’s grace that gave me the courage to take such a leap of faith because I truly didn’t know where the extra money was going to come from. I had a plan, but of course, I didn’t know if it was going to pan out the way I wanted it to. I know it is God’s plan, when after I’ve prayed about something and released it, the peace comes when I make my decision. I also live my faith walk by asking God to open or close the door for my highest good.
I am in “awe” and gratitude for how God has provided for me this past year and how the money flowed to me easily and effortlessly. I remember that the HOW is not up to me. I just need to follow my heart and the wisdom within and trust God’s faithfulness to His promises.
With Larry moving in, I had the opportunity to clean and get rid of things that I no longer needed. I was going through a box of personal things when I came across several of my “Intention Books” that I put together over the past 10 years. My intention books are like vision boards, but in a book form. I prayed daily with my intention books. I was truly moved as I saw the pictures, dreams and desires of my heart that I am now experiencing and living. Here are some of the highlights of what was in the books.
Louise Hay writes, “When we follow our inner star, we sparkle and shine in our own unique way.” So it is no surprise that Larry’s nickname for me is “Sparkle.”
I received this reading in 2008: “Have faith that God will continue to help and support you. You are about to take a leap in faith. It’s safe for you to make this leap. You are following your heart’s desire and wisdom and it will pay unforeseen dividends. Your steady optimism will attract opportunities and support your needs. “
Life is short. Live your dream. LIVE PLAY. Vision is having faith in your dreams. My soul mate and I hold the perfect space for one another within our open hearts. Imagine a life and LIVE it. The Lord has an incredible destiny for you.
This is a prayer I wrote several years ago. “I surrender all to you. I let go and let God, I release. I say YES to my life, your life within me. I say YES to all of life as I trust the Spirit within. All that I am and do, I give to God. I trust the will of God in my life to lead and guide me from this day forward. I surrender my dream and vision to God with complete faith that I will realize the best possible outcome. I fully accept my gifts and talents to be used in the service of others. Thank you for allowing me to share your love and be your voice in this world. I am deeply humbled and honored.”
My heart overflows with joy as I step into my life on a daily basis and allow God to surprise me. All I know for sure is that God wants only my good and everything I attract into my life is for my highest good. Love is all there is.
Author Melody Beattie writes, “Gratitude makes you happier. Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
Although it is my daily practice to be grateful for everything that comes into my life, whether I like it or not, I don’t always FEEL grateful. Sometimes it is a choice that I make because I know I will feel better and lighter if I practice gratitude. For example, I was driving in my car the other day and feeling kind of low as deep sadness welled up inside of me. I didn’t like how I was feeling, but I knew I needed to stay with it and allow whatever needed to be healed to come up. I know that happiness is an inside job and I will be as happy as I choose and want to be. I wanted to feel happy and not sad.
There is a delicate balance of admitting and allowing myself to feel my feelings so I can release and move through them and not staying “stuck in yuck” for longer than I need to. I had to let go of my need to control and figure out where the sadness was coming from. I needed to trust the process that it would be revealed to me in the right and perfect time. And it was!
My mood started to shift as I shouted out loud in my car, “I choose to be happy, I am happy. I am grateful.” I was definitely feeling better (not totally myself though) when I arrived at Larry’s house for dinner. Larry and I had had a “misunderstanding” the night before and I thought that could be a part of my sadness, but I wasn’t sure because the sadness I was feeling seemed to be way out of proportion to what happened with us. I knew it was “my stuff” from the past that was being triggered and coming up.
As Larry and I discussed our “misunderstanding” of the night before and each of our perceptions of what happened, the tears started to flow down my cheeks. It was like Spirit shone a light into my heart and I saw where the pain and sadness were coming from. It has been my experience that intimate relationships have a way of bringing up your “stuff” to be released and healed. Both Larry and I were triggered with “past stuff” and both experienced deep healing and transformation because of it. Thank you God because what sometimes feels like a set-back can really be a set-up by God. We were definitely set-up!
On another note, as I sat to write my blog today, I was definitely feeling gratitude for how things worked out for me this morning. Several weeks ago, while using the exercise bands at my aerobics class, I did something to my shoulder, but didn’t feel it until the next day. I have been icing it and using Arnica to help my healing. Although my shoulder was getting better, I still didn’t have full range of motion and it hurt when I moved it in a certain way.
I woke up on Friday morning and decided to go to the 9:30 a.m. aerobics class in the pool at the Fairmont Hotel. I knew water exercises were really good for healing, but I wasn’t sure what the best exercises would be. I didn’t want to re-injure it or make it worse. When I arrived, I was disappointed to see that the pool was empty and wondered if the class had been cancelled.
With that, this woman appeared before me and I heard her asking the woman sitting in the lounge chair, “Are you interested in joining the water aerobics class in the pool today?” I didn’t hear what the woman answered but I immediately piped up and said, “I am interested.” She smiled and said, “Great, we will do a class just for you.” Apparently, she had been walking around the pool and asking if anyone was interested in joining the class because she didn’t want to cancel it. She was about to leave when I “showed up.” When we got into the pool she smiled and said, “I am so glad you came, I really wanted to get in the pool today and teach a class.”
The instructor, Nancy said, “So Pat, tell me about what you need today.” I told her about what happened to my shoulder and that I was interested in exercises to strengthen my shoulder. For one hour, I had a private session with her that was totally focused on me and what I needed to do for my shoulder. My shoulder feels much better and now I know exactly what exercises to do to continue my healing.
One of the things that I love about living in Maui is how I have learned to live in the moment and follow the flow of what is before me. I followed my intuition on Friday morning to go to the water aerobics class and then had the opportunity to ask for what I wanted. Not only was I blessed to have a private lesson to focus on the best exercises for my shoulder, but the instructor, Nancy, was given the opportunity to share her gifts. A win-win for both of us.
So, all in all it’s been a great week of healing emotionally, spiritually and physically. I continue to practice gratitude, trusting everything is in perfect and divine timing.
I had just finished my walk and swim at the Fairmont Hotel when I decided to stand at the edge of the ocean and look out over the horizon. It was low tide and the ocean was calm with small waves. As I stood there looking out I noticed a young adult male who appeared to be physically/mentally challenged with goggles on walking into the ocean. As he walked deeper into the ocean, an older man, perhaps his brother reached out to him to grab his hand. At first the young adult refused help from his brother. It was like he wanted to do it by himself. Then, the brother became more insistent and they held hands and walked more deeply into the ocean together.
As the first wave began to break, the young adult looked fearful and started to turn back. With that, the brother grabbed him with both arms and they held each other tightly in a bear hug. I was so touched it brought tears to my eyes. When the wave passed, they gave each other a high five sign. I am sure that the young man felt excited that he didn’t turn back, but faced his fears. It looked like he did what he wanted to do and had enough. He walked out of the ocean by himself kind of jumping and kicking the water. I noticed his brother watched until he was safe on land and found his chair.
We are always being called into the ocean of Love, to go deeper with God. But we get afraid and think we have to do it by ourselves and then when the waves get big or the shit hits the fan, we turn around and go back to where we came from. We forget that it is God inviting us into the ocean and is within us and holding us. I am reminded that we are always being invited to something bigger and better in our lives. Love is always giving, that is all Love can do.
Where have you turned back in your life because of fear? For 1 year I put my “book to bed” which was almost completed because of fear. My denial was so strong that I really didn’t know it was fear until I was ready to face it and do something about it. I also dropped out of college in my junior year for one year due to fear because I didn’t think I could write a 20 page paper. I graduated with a bachelor’s degree, then went on for a Master’s degree and had to write a paper every month for 17 months. It is hard to describe the feeling of exhilaration when I walked across the stage for my diploma, truly a highlight in my life that I will never forget.
I am not beating up on myself because I believe everything is in perfect and right order. I shudder to think where my life would be if I hadn’t faced my fears and had my book published. My book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” has opened many doors for me, including living in Maui on the ocean and finding my soul mate. As I am writing this, the radio is playing “My faith with lead me on.” I encourage you to let your faith lead you on.
Where is God calling you to come deeper into the ocean? Only you know the desires of your heart and what keeps you stuck and going back. Over the years, I have counseled many women who were in unhealthy/abusive marriages (including myself) and they felt trapped and fearful. What a joy to see them takes steps to free themselves and now have healthy loving relationships. It takes courage and strength to leave something or someone that is familiar or comfortable, but just not working anymore for you. It may not be a marriage, but a job that is killing you and you hate it. Your gifts are not being used and you know there is something more for you to do. God may be calling you to take a risk and do something different. It may be something you have always wanted to do, but felt afraid and didn’t think you could do it. Remember, with God, all things are possible.
Like the young adult, we often don’t want to accept help and think we can do it by ourselves. Is that our pride and ego? Do we not want to appear weak in the eyes of others so we act like we know what we are doing? It’s important to know when we need help and when we need to do things by ourselves so we know we can do it and that we are strong.
Rather than it being a weakness, I truly think it is a sign of strength when we know we need help and can ask for it. The young adult in the ocean finally accepted his brothers help by holding his hand and they were able to ride the wave together. There is always help available for us. God is always with us, ready to guide us and to keep us safe.
I have learned that it is important for me to spend time alone to go within and to meditate so I know what I need to do next in my life and to hear the small, still voice of God within. It is impossible to hear God’s voice if we are busy running around in circles or taking care of everybody, but ourselves. All our answers are within, but it sometimes takes another person we trust to help us sort things out to know what is true and what are false beliefs about ourselves and life.
Fear is an illusion. It is also called False Evidence Appearing Real. Feel the fear and do it anyway. This is your life to lead and we are not promised tomorrow. All we have is today. Say YES to God, to the Universe, to yourself and watch the magic begin.
I would love to hear from you and how you have worked through some of your fears and are on the other side and living the life of your dreams. If you would like prayers because you are stuck in fear and want to move forward in your life, I would be happy to do that for you.
Larry and I had just finished our dance and sat down to rest. I heard DJ Frank announce that the next song was for Pat. I knew the song, “You Are My Special Angel,” but didn’t recognize the significance for me at first. I knew I was the only Pat at the dance but had no idea why they would be playing it for me.
Then I saw Frank’s wife, Sandy, smile at me from across the room and say, “This is for you.” I grabbed Larry’s arm to get up and dance with me. After the dance, Sandy came over to me and said, “We just finished your book and this is the song in your book, right? I said with tears in my eyes, “Yes, it is.” It was a very special song because my grandmother used to sing it to me and called me her “Angel.” I cried my eyes out when I heard the song the day my father died while I was shopping for a dress for his funeral.
I thanked Frank for playing the song at the Valentines dance for me. What a surprise and gift of love I received. I spent a lot of time with my grandmother growing up and I knew she loved me unconditionally. Larry loves me unconditionally and I hadn’t thought of that until this moment. He calls me his “Queen.”
When I returned home after the dance, I re-read a few chapters in my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” I read Chapter 5 “Messages from Heaven” How God Speaks through Songs.
“I dragged myself to the consignment shop to look for a dress to wear for dad’s funeral. I couldn’t concentrate and half-heartedly looked through the racks of clothing trying to find a dress. Honey began playing on the radio. I stood frozen in place for a few minutes, then put my face in my hands and sobbed. The owner of the shop walked over to me. I looked up when she asked, “Are you alright? What’s wrong?” “My father just died,” I blurted out through sobs and tears. I explained to her about the significance of the song Honey that had just played on the radio. Honey was my mother’s name and she died when I was 21 years old. She reached out to touch my shoulder, as I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.
Five minutes later, the song “Daddy’s Little Girl” came on the radio. My dad often sang that song to me and it always brought tears to my eyes. Everyone cried when he held me in his arms on my wedding day and we danced to “Daddy’s Little Girl.” God answered my prayer – to feel my dad’s presence. Hearing the songs only a few hours after he passed away was truly amazing. I found a dress or shall I say the dress found me – I certainly wasn’t in my right mind. As I paid and prepared to leave, “You are My Special Angel” began to play on the radio. My grandmother called me “Angel.” Within a half hour, I heard three songs that touched my heart; from my mother, father and grandmother.”
I also read Chapter 15 “I Want All of You and I Will Be Enough” How to Prepare for your Soul Mate – The God Way. I was amazed to read the affirmation that I had written about my soul mate in the book at least 15 years ago and how accurate it was.
“I am creating and expecting a loving, kind, joyful, spiritual, honest, healthy relationship with my soul mate. He will be playful, fun and will love to laugh. He will be as crazy about me as I am about him. We will both be growing spiritually, on the same path, sharing, growing and loving. He will love to dance as I do and we will dance into the sunset together. There will be no blocks or fear. We will get along fabulously. We will love each other, love being together as well as being alone.”
God answers prayer because this is truly describing who Larry is and the relationship that we have created together. We love to play, laugh and have fun. And we love to dance and are always sharing about spiritual ideas.
Two years ago Larry called and asked me to go to dinner on Valentine’s Day. When I got off the phone, I panicked and called my girlfriend for advice. Larry and I were really good friends, but I didn’t have any romantic feelings for him. I was concerned that if I said yes to going out to dinner with him on Valentine’s Day he might get the wrong idea. I called him back and was honest with him. I said, “I would love to go out to dinner with you, but I am not interested in a romantic relationship.” He was very gracious and said, “That is fine, I know we are friends and I respect that.” I’m so grateful for Larry’s patience and that I trusted myself and what I was feeling.
Here we are two years later celebrating Valentine’s Day as partners and sharing our lives and love together. For whatever reasons, it wasn’t God’s timing for us to be partners two years earlier. What I know today is that I can trust God’s perfect timing and the Divine plan for my life.
God had given me the desire of my heart to meet my soul mate. I knew it would be fulfilled in His time and His way. I prayed this affirmation daily for many years. “My soul mate is lovingly and effortlessly coming into my life.” While I waited for my soul mate, I learned to love and trust myself. I treated myself like a queen and made myself happy. All I can say is that it was worth the wait and it has been fulfilled in His way and His time. LOVE IS ALL THERE IS.
“Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems. If I cannot accept every person, place and thing as exactly as it is, I will not have peace.” paraphrased from AA Big Book. Acceptance is about letting go and trusting God.
I had the opportunity to practice accepting “what is” this week and saw powerful results. It could have easily turned out to be a negative event, but instead turned out to be glorious and better than I had ever expected.
For Christmas my friend Kati and I bought tickets for a ferry boat ride to the island of Lanai. Lanai is a small quaint island which is only 1 hour away from Maui by ferry. We both love the ocean and were excited as we anticipated watching the whales jumping out of the water as we crossed the ocean to Lanai. We planned our trip for after Christmas.
The day began at 7:30 a.m. with the sun shining brightly. We arrived on time to take the 9:15 a.m. ferry and our return ferry was scheduled for 4:30 p.m. We decided to count the miracles as they happened during the day. The ferry ride over to Lanai was fun as we chatted with interesting people and watched the whales jumping out of the water in front of us.
When we arrived in Lanai and walked to the Four Seasons hotel from the ferry, we were surprised to see construction going on at the hotel and it was quite noisy-not what we were expecting. “Our plan” was to take the free shuttle into Lanai City to have lunch, shop and walk around to see the sights and then come back and swim in the Four Seasons pool. When we asked the man at the desk, “When is the shuttle leaving?” He said, “There aren’t any shuttles until late this afternoon, but I would be happy to call you a taxi. “How much does the taxi cost?” I asked. He said, “It costs $10 per person each way.” Kati and I just looked at one another and said, “No way.” This was only a short ride to Lanai City and we didn’t want to pay that kind of money. Kati said, “Well, we can just stick around the lobby and see if we can catch a ride with someone going into Lanai City.” I answered, “Yes, that sounds like a great idea and I am up for an adventure.”
After ½ hour of waiting and praying for direction, we realized “our plan” wasn’t working and we needed to go back to the drawing board and decide what we wanted to do next. Although we each expressed our disappointment with how the day was going so far, we both agreed to accept “what is” and not complain. It was getting close to lunch time and we were getting hungry so instead of going into Lanai City, we decided to have lunch at the hotel and then spend a leisurely afternoon at the pool.
As the waitress led us to our table, we felt like “queens” and were thrilled to be seated at a table overlooking the ocean. We ordered our food and were sitting quietly when all of a sudden we noticed some activity in the ocean that didn’t look like whales. As we looked closer, we realized it was dolphins playing and jumping out of the water right in front of us. We were amazed because there had to be hundreds of dolphins giving us a spectacular show that lasted for over an hour. Kati and I just looked at one other with such gratitude in our hearts because if we had gone into Lanai City as we planned we would have missed this amazing gift of nature.
We finished our lunch and shared a delicious chocolate dessert together. We were now ready to relax and go for a swim in the beautiful pool. We found two lounge chairs with umbrellas to keep us cool. When the attendant brought us over our towels, he asked, “What is your name?” Not expecting any problems because we have been enjoying Maui’s pools since we have been here, I smiled and said, “Hastings.” He then said, “Are you staying at the hotel because the pool is only for guests.” Kati said, “No, but we just spent a lot of money for lunch at the hotel and we thought it would be o.k. to swim in the pool.” Wrong, we were told that we had to leave NOW.
Can you see it? The “queens” were being kicked out of the Four Seasons hotel because we weren’t guests. We felt indignant at first because this had never happened to us before (perhaps a bit of denial on our part.) He took our towels back as we dried off and walked away.
We were being offered another opportunity to accept “what is” and change directions. We decided to take an earlier ferry back to Maui which we thought was leaving at 2:30 p.m. We walked back to the ferry and were shocked when there was no ferry waiting for us. It had left at 2:00 p.m. and we now had 2 ½ hours with nothing to do.
This was getting more difficult to accept “what is” but we knew it was another opportunity to stay in gratitude and not complain. Kati looked on the ground and found a penny and then another penny and then a dime. We laughed and said, “We are rich because we are receiving pennies from heaven.”
Then the miracle happened. We turned around and noticed a shady area with trees and colored chairs that looked very inviting. We quickly made our way to the chairs and “bumped” into the Captain of the Triology. The Triology is considered one of Maui’s best snorkeling boats. As we chatted with Captain Ryan and told him our plight of missing the ferry back and being kicked out of the Four Seasons, he smiled and said, “Would you like to come back on the Trilogy with us?” Not only did we travel in style, but we were invited to have supper with the folks on the boat and were served free drinks and ice-cream Sundays. And the whales and dolphins were incredible. How much better can it get than this? Here are the lessons we learned:
- We kept laughing and going within to ask Spirit to lead and guide us.
- We were willing to change directions, change our perspective, be flexible, go with the flow and not push “Our plan.” We knew there was a “Divine Plan” that was unfolding.
- We allowed ourselves to feel the disappointment and then let it go.
- We chose not to complain, to stay in gratitude and accept “What is.”
- We asked for what we wanted and were willing to receive.
- We knew that when we missed the ferry, there would be a better opportunity for us and there was- the Trilogy.
- We asked to be aware of miracles and expected miracles before we started the day..
When we change our perspective, stay positive and trust, the Universe mirrors back to us what is inside of us. What if everything that looks negative or not what we want can be turned around for our good? What looks like a setback can actually be a set up by God.
About 6 months ago Larry and I went to a furniture store in Kahului Maui to look for a recliner chair for Larry since his recliner broke and he had to throw it away. Our friend, Mark, was the manager and showed us all kinds of recliner chairs, including a section where there were special “Stress Less” recliners. When Larry sat in one of the “Stress Less” recliners, he fell in love with it, but not with the price. The recliners started at $2,500 and went up to $4,000. This was clearly not in his budget and we walked out of the store disappointed. After sitting in a “Stress Less” recliner all the others just didn’t make the mark.
The next day I checked out Craigslist for “Stress Less” recliners and there weren’t any. We forgot about it until this week. Our friends, Sandy and Steve, invited us for dinner on Sunday night. We retired to the living room after dinner and Larry found himself sitting in a beautiful black leather “Stress Less” recliner that was Steve’s. His body remembered how good the recliner felt that he sat in when we went to the furniture store. Steve said he bought it over 20 years ago and he loved it.
I quietly turned to Sandy and Steve and said, “I will find one.” Steve said, “I saw one on Craigslist about a year ago but they don’t go on very often.” The next morning I decided to check out Craigslist again. I was pleasantly surprised to find 2 “Stress Less” recliners and the ad had just been placed on Sunday. The ad said they were in excellent condition and the price was in Larry’s budget. I called immediately and left a message that we were interested. Jeff called back a few hours later and said that one of the recliners had already been sold, but we could come by and see the one that was still for sale. We made plans for us to see the recliner that night after we danced.
Larry is 6’1 so we had no idea if the recliner would be big enough for him. When Larry sat in the recliner, he fell in love again. It was a large one and his body fit in it perfectly. He decided to buy it and even got it for a better price than they were asking. Larry didn’t have enough cash with him and said he would give him a deposit. Jeff said, “Do you have a credit card because I have a business and can put it through my machine?” Larry said, “Yes, I have a credit card, but we will have to come back with a truck tomorrow.” Jeff knew that we lived only a few miles away and said, “I will deliver it to your house, it will fit in my van.” Larry and I just stood there kind of stunned, it was so easy.
The recliner fit in Jeff’s van perfectly and as we were about to get in our car, I noticed the front of Jeff’s shirt which said in bold letters – GRATEFUL. We sure were grateful for Larry’s new “Stress Free” recliner and how it all worked out.
We arrived at my house and Jeff carried in the recliner by himself. Larry has had problems with his back and he was concerned about carrying heavy things. It was like everything was planned and taken care of for us, before we even asked. When Larry received Jeff’s receipt the next day online, he shared with me that Jeff was also a spiritual author. No coincidence here!
What I am grateful for is how God provides and in the perfect timing. I trusted God would provide and took action to go on Craigslist. If we hadn’t gone to Sandy and Steve’s house for dinner and Steve had not owned a “Stress Free” recliner, I wouldn’t have gone on Craigslist the next day to look for one. Not only did Larry not have to go to the bank to get cash for the recliner and borrow a truck, but Jeff had a credit card machine in his house, and he offered to deliver it for free. We now have beautiful leather, plush “Stress Less” recliner to fight over! Or maybe I will just have to attract another one for myself.
I wrote in my journal, “I need an attitude adjustment.” I woke up irritable, worried, fearful and with little gratitude in my heart. I said to myself, “How easy it is to get off track and lose my peace when things don’t go my way.” I then remembered that I asked Spirit for something to write about in my blog that would be inspirational and helpful to others. I admitted I was having a moment of “insanity” because I didn’t trust that what was happening in my life was for my highest good and for the good of my loved one.
I knew I needed to change my focus and get grateful, which is exactly what I did. Instead of seeing what was happening as a problem, I could choose to trust and see it as an opportunity and gift. I could choose love instead of fear and practice what I preach – everything I attract into my life is for my highest good and for my soul to grow. Let me explain what happened.
It started this week when my friend, Catherine, invited me to do an energy session with her to release trapped emotions from my body. She shared with me how “The Emotion Code” by Dr. Bradley Nelson, had helped her. Dr. Bradley writes, “Much of our suffering is due to negative emotional energies that have become “trapped” within us. It is my experience that a significant percentage of physical illness, emotional difficulty and self-sabotage are actually caused by these unseen energies. The vast majority of us do have trapped emotions simply because of what we have been through and who we are at this point in our journey. Every patient I treated was found to have trapped emotions embedded in the malignant tissues. The Emotion Code is a simple and powerful method of finding and releasing these trapped emotions.”
Although I have done a lot of energy work of releasing, healing and transforming over the years, this work intrigued me and intuitively I knew it was my next step. I have had a problem in my right knee for over a year that would come and go and nothing I did made it better. I thought, “I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.”
The session went well with Catherine and I did release some trapped emotions, but I didn’t feel anything special when we were done. I wasn’t experiencing any pain in my knee at the moment so I didn’t know if it “worked.” It has been 5 days and I haven’t had any pain in my knee. Catherine told me that it could be subtle and to watch for other things happening in my life. She gave me her book to read and I devoured it that night.
I had a dream that night that was very significant and powerful. My first love and boyfriend, Steve, told me he wanted to marry me and I was thrilled. Then, he smiled and said he was only joking and that he loved someone else. In reality, this is what happened when I was 19 years old. Steve and I talked about getting married and then he just stopped calling me. Not only was I devastated that he didn’t call me and that he had another girlfriend, but it happened at the same time my mother died in front of me. When I worked with my dream, Spirit showed me that it was too much to process at the time and my emotions got trapped in my body.
What I love about this work is that I was able to find the trapped emotions from this dream and release them myself. I don’t know yet the ramifications of releasing these trapped emotions will be and how it will affect my life, but I know it will.
I love how the Universe works and how things “show up” at the right and perfect time. Not only was I able to release trapped emotions for myself, but I was able to share it with Larry. All of a sudden, Larry started to have pain in his heel and it hurt to walk. He didn’t hit it or bang it and the pain seemed to come out of nowhere.
I had already shared my experience of releasing with Larry and he was interested in learning more about it. Physical pain has a way of getting our attention. We decided to meet at the Fairmont pool the next morning and I was going to read parts of the book to him. Although Larry has had some experience with energy healing, he was somewhat skeptical and said, “You can read it to me, but I don’t want to do it yet.”
While I was waiting for Larry to arrive at the Fairmont pool, my friend, Kati, texted me and asked if I wanted to join her at the Fairmont pool after her walk. She had no idea that I was already there. I told her Larry was coming and I was going to share the book with him. Kati has also done this kind of releasing and was very familiar with the process. I asked her if she was willing to share her personal experience with Larry, and she said, “Yes.”
We found the perfect spot when Larry arrived to share with one another, with beautiful couches tucked away overlooking the ocean. As Kati and I shared our understanding of trapped emotions and personal experiences with Larry, he said, “I’m willing to give it a try.” We didn’t waste any time and seized the opportunity to work with Larry. He was so open and willing, even though he really didn’t understand what was going on. None of us cared if people saw what we were doing because we were definitely in the “zone” and concentrating on love and releasing trapped emotions.
When we were done, Larry said, “The pain in not completely gone, but it feels much better. I feel lighter and like I have been cleansed and the cobwebs have been swept away. It almost feels like I have taken a sedative and it feels pretty nice.”
Larry and I will continue to work and heal together, trusting that God will give us everything we need for our journey.
Your thoughts inspire me and I would love to hear from you. Please be sure to share how this blog impacts you and what comes up for you on your journey.
For several years, it has been my heart’s desire to go on a cruise. I was a speaker on a Norwegian Cruise ship to Mexico in January, 2012, right before I moved to Maui. I had a fabulous time and even won “Dancing with the Stars”. Every time I see the Norwegian Cruise ship docked in Kahului Harbor, I say to myself or to whoever I am driving with, “I really want to go on another cruise-and I will.” I imagined myself going on another cruise and I believed it would happen.
Many of you who have been reading my blogs know that my friend, Larry, invited me to go with him on a 12- day cruise to Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Germany and Scotland – all expenses paid about 2 years ago. To clarify: this is not my soul mate, Larry, but the “other” Larry in the dance community who was also my friend. I had never been to Europe nor had I ever traveled with a man other than my husband or fiancé. I knew friends of the opposite sex traveled together all the time, but this was new territory for me. I would have preferred going on a romantic cruise with my soul mate, but my soul mate hadn’t shown up yet (or at least I hadn’t recognized him yet,)
Unfortunately, Larry had to cancel the cruise due to personal reasons. Of course, I was disappointed at first, but trusted Spirit closed the door for a reason and there would be another opportunity in the future. Instead of disappointment, I changed it to HISAPPOINTMENT. It has been my experience that when God closes a door, another door is opened and it is always something bigger and better for me.
My soul mate, Larry, had traveled extensively before we met, so he really didn’t have any interest in traveling and leaving Maui. But, he knew it was the desire of my heart to go on another cruise. A few days ago, I approached him about going on a cruise with me. He said, “I wish there was a cruise leaving from Honolulu so we wouldn’t have to travel to the mainland first.” I said, “I haven’t heard of any cruises leaving from Honolulu, but I will call AAA and check it out.” I had checked it out several months prior and there weren’t any cruise ships leaving from Honolulu. I asked him, “Where would you like to go?” He thought about it for a minute and said, “I have never been to Australia, I think that would be fun”.
Not letting any water under the bridge, I called AAA the next day to inquire about cruises leaving from Honolulu. I thought, “Well, maybe things have changed and now there were cruises from Honolulu.” The secretary answered and said, “The travel agents are all busy, but I will take your information down about what you want and have her call you back.” I told her what I wanted and she immediately said, “Oh, I just saw something go across my desk for a cruise to Australia from Honolulu. Let me look for the brochure.” A minute later she was back giving me some information. She said she would have the travel agent call me back in a ½ hour.
As I waited “impatiently” for the travel agent to call me back, my heart started to pound fast and I felt so excited. Was this God, I wondered opening the door? While I was waiting, I received a call from a woman asking me to make a $40 flower arrangement for her. Of course, I will need a lot more money than this, but I saw it as a sign that God was beginning to provide the money for me to go on the cruise. It certainly seemed like a green light to me. Now I just had to convince Larry this was a green light and open door.
The travel agent called back in no time and gave me all the details and prices. It was a 14 day cruise, leaving from Honolulu to Australia – just what we were looking for. I wrote down the prices for an inside cabin and prices for the balcony. I couldn’t wait to share it with Larry and hoped he would be as excited and open to going on this cruise as I was.
As we sat on the couch that night, I sheepishly said, “Guess what, I found the perfect cruise for us and it leaves from Honolulu and cruises to Australia.” He smiled and said, “O.K. tell me about it.” I babbled on about what a great deal it was and how I had never been on a 14 day cruise before. The inside cabins were quite a bit cheaper and I thought that was what he would want to do. Larry has been on several cruises in the past and has always had an inside cabin. I had a balcony suite on my last cruise and loved it. He said, “I have never had a balcony and if we are going to do it, let’s do it right.” I agreed that I also would like a balcony suite. It felt like we were coming from abundance and not lack-even though it was a step in faith that the Universe would provide the money.
I couldn’t wait to book it and the next day we called Costco to speak with their travel agent. As we were making our plans, the agent said, “I have to ask you this, do you want separate beds or one bed?” We were on speaker phone and both simultaneously said, “One bed.” He laughed and said, “O.K.” I guess he thought we were senior citizens and may want to sleep in separate beds. Not these rocking seniors!
Whatever your desires are, here are 10 things to manifest the desires of your heart
- Trust that when God closes one door, He will open another door and it will be for your highest good.
- Be specific and ask for what you want, which means you must know what you want.
- Trust that the desire of your heart is God’s desire for you or you wouldn’t have it in the first place.
- Trust the timing and don’t give up on your desires. It’s His timing, not yours.
- Be willing to WAIT and ALLOW it to come to you. Then take ACTION.
- Trust that the money will come as you step out in faith and trust the process. Faith – Fully Allowing It to Happen.
- Trust that God wants your good and you deserve the best.
- Trust that you are always guided on your spiritual path.
- Trust that the Universe has already answered your prayer.
- Imagine and believe that you will go or do or have what your heart desires.
As I reviewed the above list, I became aware of how much of my manifesting is about TRUSTING & ALLOWING. I invite you to look over the list and see if there are areas of your life where you have difficulty trusting. Is it the timing you struggle with, not feeling deserving or not knowing what you want?
“When you want something all of the Universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Top of Form
Bottom of Form
“I am with you and for you. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you. You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don’t get discouraged-never give up. With my help, you can overcome any obstacle. Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very-present Helper, am omnipotent. Much stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their time has come. One of the main ways I assert my sovereignty is in the timing of events. Instead of dashing headlong toward your journey, let Me set the pace. Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence.” Jesus Calling, Sarah Young, p. 10
These words speak deeply to my heart as I look back on my journey over the last 3 years. It is hard to believe that it’s been 3 years this January that I said YES to God to follow my dream and move to Hawaii. I truly know it was God’s grace and my willingness to step out in faith and take a risk to leave my comfortable home, family and community. I could have listened to my fears (false evidence appearing real) and all the “what ifs” and why I can’t do it, why I don’t deserve it and missed out on the greatest love relationship of my life. Are you missing out on anything in your life because you are stuck in fear?
I knew in my heart that I was going to meet my soul mate in Maui, but of course, I didn’t know WHEN or HOW. I also didn’t know that I would make Maui my home and live here permanently. I knew I was going to live here for 6 months, but I didn’t know the rest.
I don’t have to see or know the whole picture before I step out in faith. What works for me is one step at a time, doing the next right thing and trusting the process. It’s my control, fear of change and my ego that wants to have it all figured out before I make a move and do something different in my life.
I had a plaque on my desk many years ago that read, “When you learn how to trust yourself, you will know how to live.” I am so grateful that I trusted my heart and the “small, still voice of God” within to move 5,000 miles away from all that was familiar. I didn’t know where I was going to live, what I would be doing, or how I could afford it. A few weeks before my arrival in Maui, my friend, Pat, invited me to share a condo with her and her husband which, incidentally, overlooked the ocean. My share of the rent was $300 a month and I lived there for 6 months.
As Larry and I danced the night away last night at Kaunoa Senior Center, I couldn’t help but smile and remember the first night I asked him to dance. It was my first dance in Maui and I didn’t know a soul, except for Pat and Ellen, who I came with. Of course, there were many more women at the dance and if I wanted to dance, I had to take the first step and ask a man to dance. I noticed Larry and liked how he danced, but it took me a while before I finally got the nerve to ask him for a dance. We had something in common in that we were both from the East Coast. I only danced with him once that night, but would see him at the weekly dances that I attended. He was so much fun to dance with and I loved dancing with him (and so did all the other women).
When I moved to Kihei, 8 months later (in Larry’s neighborhood) and I saw him at a dance, he asked me, “Would you like to go for a walk sometime?” I said, “Sure, I would like to do that.” I remember almost instantly talking about love and spirituality. I had no idea that he was interested in spirituality and we quickly developed a friendship and then became best friends. We called each other daily and ended our conversations with, “I love you.” Although we were best friends, I had no interest in a romantic relationship because I was waiting for my soul mate to arrive. Here he was right in front of me for 2 years and it wasn’t until God’s perfect timing and plan that we became partners. Others could see our love for one another and often asked, “How come you two are not partners?” It’s because it wasn’t God’s timing or we would have been together. I believe there were some things we both needed to do on the inside before we were ready for one another.
When I truly know and believe that “God’s timing is perfect” I am peaceful and relaxed. I stop DOING, trying to control outcomes and the timing of events in my life. I surrender to “what is” and choose to live in love because I AM LOVE. I live in the present moment because that is all there is and it is where God is. There may not be another moment as we are not promised tomorrow. This present moment is the best and I want to BE there. The peace that I am seeking and want can only be experienced in the present moment.
Unfortunately, sometimes our ego gets in the way when things aren’t going the way we want them to go and we want what we want when we want it. We get impatient, and think we know what’s best for ourselves. We complain and get angry because we don’t want to wait on God’s timing. I speak from personal experience because I did all of the above when I was waiting for Larry to show up.
It wasn’t until I let go and trusted divine timing that the perfect love came into my life. I focused on loving myself, doing what I loved, being happy and having fun. I think the challenge for all of us is to learn to wait with grace and peace, knowing that everything is in order and in perfect and divine timing.
I invite you to look back over your journey to recognize God’s perfect timing in your life and to trust the divine plan for your life. Instead of dashing headlong toward your journey, let God set the pace. Slow down, relax and enjoy the journey in God’s Presence.
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- My old behaviors reared their ugly head
- My Soulmate is going to become my Roomate
- The tears flowed down my cheeks
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