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I was not a happy camper and was resistant to change

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Apr
14

“I give thanks for DIVINE DISCONTENT-that inner stirring to do or be more. With each inner nudge, I have an opportunity to express more fully my divine potential. I open to my higher voice, the whisper of Spirit in my heart, compelling me forward on new quests and rewarding life experiences.”  Daily Word

Has this ever happened to you? There is a shift in your thinking and you don’t know how it happened or where or when. You may have experienced a lot of “resistance” to something in your life that needed changing (diet, relationship, career, family) and all of a sudden the “resistance” is gone and you are open and WILLING to try or do something new.

I believe that at the bottom of resistance is fear that we don’t know how to do something or that we might fail or succeed.  It can be so overwhelming that we stay stuck and do nothing.  We are not happy and living our dreams, but it is easier to stay stuck and do nothing.  The resistance to change something in our lives may be about not wanting to “go within” and feel our feelings so we avoid them by staying busy, working or eating.

I believe it is my willingness to do something different that is important.  Even a little step in the right direction is good.  Just praying for the grace to be willing has worked for me.  I know it is God’s grace when I am open and willing to receive guidance and God’s goodness. When I connect with the Divine consciousness within through meditation and prayer, I open myself up to more of God’s goodness in every aspect of my life. I experience God’s grace as unconditional love, guidance, intuition, a gut feeling, an inner knowing, strength, comfort, protection or a divine idea. Guidance may come in a flash or it may unfold organically.

For most of my life I’ve been able to eat different kinds of food without any problems. I think I’m pretty healthy, with the usual aches and pains of growing older!  I try to eat a balanced diet, exercise regularly and am not on any medications.

Recently, I started experiencing (bad) gas and digestive problems after I ate. I wasn’t sure what was causing it i.e. lactose intolerance, food combinations, gluten or sugar. I was not a happy camper, to put it mildly. I was resistant and didn’t want to start eliminating foods to determine why my body was reacting the way it was. I knew I had to do something because it wasn’t getting better. In fact, one night I had to sleep in the other bedroom. UGH!  It is interesting how God gets our attention to “wake us up” when we are unwilling and resistant to do what is good for us.  I am grateful that it wasn’t something more serious that got my attention.

I’ve read many articles about sugar not being good for you, especially for my bones which are thinning. My attitude has been that it is o.k. to consume sugar in moderation. I don’t smoke or use drugs so a little sugar every day can’t be that bad for me.  I love my sweets after dinner and didn’t want to deprive myself of that pleasure.  I have been very resistant to cutting sugar out of my diet for a long time, despite the fact that it could be hurting me.

I asked God for guidance to show me what to do to alleviate the problem.  I know that when I “show up,” Spirit always guides me to the next right action in my life. When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Teachers are appearing all over the place. I am sure they were always there, but I wasn’t ready and willing.

As I let go of my resistance to change my diet and began the process of eliminating sugar and dairy and possibly gluten, I felt lighter and even excited to explore healthy recipes that didn’t include sugar and dairy.  It is a process and I‘m learning to trust myself and what my body needs.  I realize that what works for one person may not work for me and I must take the time to go within and ask Spirit what is right for me, just like I do in every other area of my life. I treated myself and bought a Vitamix, which I have wanted for years. I made a delicious green smoothie this morning and a decadent dessert with cacao and avocado and no sugar. Who knows I may become “Suzy Homemaker” after all these years.   I am taking responsibility for my health one day at a time and with God’s grace and my willingness to change, I will continue to do so.  Is there something in your life that you want to change, but have been reluctant to do so?   I suggest that you pray for the willingness and God’s grace and you will be amazed at the results.

Larry

Resistance and acceptance have been on my mind lately.  My understanding of what happens when we resist is that we prevent ourselves from accepting an opportunity that has been presented to us.  We may think that accepting the opportunity may cause fear or pain so we try to protect ourselves by closing or restricting our consciousness and heart.

We don’t want to suffer so we grab and hold onto whatever is happening in our lives. We give it a story.  When we do this, it gives the situation power and control over us, which causes more suffering. Once we accept the negative energy and give it a home, it’s very difficult for us to release it. I suggest a more positive way to respond is to accept the situation just as it is. Don’t resist it and stay open. Let it pass through you and don’t hold onto it by giving it a story. 

For example, you might be going to the dentist and know you have some unpleasant dental work to endure. You probably are not going to like it or have a good time, but you know it has to be done. When you don’t resist, but accept the situation as it is and not give it a story like, “Oh this is going to be painful. I don’t like this because my whole day will be ruined,” you will be free to go forward one moment at a time and can allow the energy and light of love to help you with your experience. 

By doing this we allow the greatest power known to human kind to handle it for us.  Don’t get me wrong there still may be suffering and pain, but we simply allow the experience to be whatever it is. We stay open and accepting and allow the power and light of love to enter this situation. By doing this we will find the peace and strength needed to accept the challenge and the opportunity presented to us. 

I had the opportunity to experience and practice acceptance this last month.  I manage a vacation rental in Kihei. I had the unit rented for the full month of April.  About a week before my guests were to arrive I received a call from them.  The husband had a serious medical condition that had to be addressed immediately and they had to cancel their reservation. In the past, I would have panicked and said to myself, “How am I ever going to get this condo rented in so little time? I now have that whole month open and no revenue coming in this month. This is terrible and so stressful. bla bla bla!”  

My new approach is, I’m not going to resist this and I’m going to accept it as an opportunity. I am not going to give it a story and not going to hold onto it. I will just let it happen. I’ll experience my feelings of disappointment and allow them to be. I will trust that everything will take care of itself. I just stayed open and trusted that if it were for my highest good April would take care of itself and it did.  In a short time, I had the full month rented again. 

This is an excellent path to explore when accepting an opportunity or challenge whether it is small situations like going to the dentist, running out of gas on a rainy night, losing your cell phone, or something more serious like the death of family member or friend, ending a relationship, being seriously ill or losing a job.  

Many of us resist not just the negative experiences in our lives, but also the positive gifts, like love, forgiveness and peace.  We may resist Love because we don’t feel worthy or good enough or cannot forgive ourselves for things we have done in the past. We may think we have to earn good things from God or that God is mad at us.  

I suggest that we become friends with Love because Love wants to be friends with us.  Love is like the sun which shines its light on all people everywhere.  Love does not discriminate and wants to shine on everyone. Love is color blind. Love does not judge. Love can only Love because it doesn’t know how to do anything else. Love is always given freely. Love will never turn away from us. It is us who turn away from Love. We don’t Love ourselves so we believe Love couldn’t Love us either. 

Let’s try not to resist, but instead open our hearts to Love. The gift of Love is always there for us and it is never withdrawn. All we have to do is accept the gift and then we will live in the joy and peace of love forever.

I said “OUCH” after what Larry said to me

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Apr
9

When Larry surprised me this Easter Sunday morning on our way to church with a beautiful Lei, I flashed back to two years ago when he bought me a lei on our way to church.  While at the Easter service 2 years ago, the “scales from my eyes” were removed and my heart started to open up to him in a new way. It was a magical moment that I will never forget.

Prior to that time, I had no “romantic” feelings for Larry. He was my best friend and that is the way I wanted it. I love to be surprised and this was one of the biggest surprises of my life. Here was my soul mate right in front of me for 2 years and I didn’t see him. I know it was God’s timing and when we were both ready, the flood gates opened.

Trusting God’s perfect timing in all areas of my life gives me peace. As I look back over some of my major life decisions and choices, I know that if I was meant to do something sooner or faster than I did, I would have. There is no need to beat up on myself or shame myself that I didn’t do or know some things sooner than I did. To live in the present moment and to be grateful is all that matters. Everything happens for a reason and for my highest good.

I am so grateful that Larry and I were both open and willing to allow our relationship to grow to a new level because being together has truly been the best 2 years of my life. I feel so cared for and loved by Larry. And I love loving him.

One of the most important elements in our relationship is our ability to communicate openly and honestly with one another.  Larry and I love to laugh and we are always kidding around with one another. We both have a similar “quick wit” sense of humor and we play off of it.  We learned an important lesson this week about the possible “misuse” of humor.

We were driving in the car discussing an email we had just received about our blog and Larry said, “I don’t want to get a big head.”  I said, “You already have a big head.” He said, “Do you really think I have a big head?”  I said, “No, I’m only kidding.”  I really was only kidding, but how would he know that for sure?

I remember times in my marriage when my ex-husband would say something to me and when I reacted, he would say, “You are too sensitive, I’m only kidding.”  I didn’t know if he was kidding or if he really meant it. We didn’t have healthy communication skills and often expected the other one to read our mind and to know what we needed. There was an element of “sarcasm” in our family dynamics and I was often (unknowingly to them) the brunt of it.

After chatting about the possible “misuse” of humor and still wanting to be playful and joke around with one another, we decided to implement an “OUCH” system, if you will. Whenever either one of us joked around about something and it felt sensitive and we weren’t sure it was a joke or not, we would say OUCH.

This has worked well so far for both of us. Not only have I said “OUCH” when something Larry said didn’t feel good, but he has asked me after saying something that he wasn’t sure about, “Was that an “OUCH?”  With this new system, we can both be clear with one another about what feels good and what doesn’t.

Larry

Since Pat and I have been discussing negative humor and kidding around with one another, I’ve been thinking more about how our society supports negative humor.  I don’t know if women do this but for as long as I can remember (probably since I was a teenager) kidding around, making fun of someone else, being funny at someone else’s expense, (sometimes described as “ragging on someone”) has for many men been a way of life.

Strangely, this practice of ragging or teasing someone has become a way for us to communicate to them that we like them and accept them.  I think perhaps this practice when done to extremes can leave a residue, that left undetected, can become very negative and harmful.  There appears to be a very thin line between teasing someone and hurting someone emotionally or psychologically by what you say.  From the teaser’s perspective it may just be fooling around and funny but to the recipient it can be a very negative experience that can cause them pain and suffering.

As a young man I had a quick wit and sharp tongue.  There have been many times that I have used that talent, as a way to be funny and cause laughter, sometimes at another’s expense and I have hurt someone’s feelings. Realizing that it had become a very negative practice, I have gradually learned to keep my mouth shut (or at least think before I speak.) Here is an example:

Years ago, I lived at a condo resort in Kihei and was helping my former wife (who was the resident manager) with some of her duties.  I was serving pineapple to some of the guests around the pool area.  I had become somewhat friendly with one of the men at the pool.  As I approached him I said kiddingly, “I bet this beached whale would like a little pineapple.”  I was surprised when he refused.

The next day I was speaking to his wife and she told me he was very sensitive about his weight and was hurt by my comments.  WOW!  I really put my foot in my mouth this time trying to be funny.  I felt bad for causing him pain and embarrassment.  From my perspective, he wasn’t very overweight and I was shocked that he would be sensitive about that.  I sought him out and apologized for my insensitivity. He accepted my apology and that was that.  I learned a very helpful lesson and I’m more careful not to put my foot in my mouth and most times, to remember to think before I speak.

I believe it can be difficult for a person when they are on a roll to understand that what they are doing can be negative and hurtful to someone else.  Ego says things like “Come on I am only kidding. That’s really funny, what’s the matter with you? Don’t be so sensitive.  Can’t you take a joke?”

I know that Pat and I will never create an environment where we have to walk on egg shells around each other. We will cultivate an atmosphere where we can tease each other in a loving way. We will laugh a lot, not at each other but with each other.  When there is an “Ouch Moment” we will let each other know, talk about it and not allow a residue to develop into a mountain.

Love is always being willing to say “I’m Sorry.”

Pat, I need prayer now!

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Apr
9

Praying for things that you want gives you an opportunity to affirm your worthiness.  If you don’t love yourself, you will find all kinds of excuses not to ask for what you want or to DEFLECT your good when it comes. This is also called self-sabotage.  Asking God for what you want is an affirmation that you desire and deserve good in your life.

If you love, honor, value and appreciate yourself, you will know that you deserve to ask God for health, peace of mind, happiness, success, healthy relationships, wealth and love. You will be open to all things good that come into your life and support your well-being.

I would like to share a story about a friend who called me and asked for prayer this morning.  Larry and I spend time together in the morning discussing the plans for the day and expressing our gratitude for our many blessings.  Larry had just finished sharing a dream that he had that night (which he will share in his part of the blog) and we were talking about the importance of asking God for help when the phone rang.

I know now it was Spirit because I answered the phone on the 2nd ring and I don’t usually answer the phone during my time with Larry in the morning.  I could hear the desperation and panic in my friend’s voice when she said hello. She said, “Pat, I am so glad you answered the phone, I need prayer NOW.”  I said, “OK what’s going on?” She told me that she had to make a phone call in 5 minutes with an important decision about her career and she didn’t know what to do.

I listened and allowed her to share her feelings of anger, being overwhelmed, fear, confusion and panic. When she had vented and calmed down some, we prayed together and we did EFT tapping. We prayed for guidance and clarity.

When we were done, I asked her if she had read our blog from last week about the power of prayer and she said, “Yes, that is what prompted me to call you and ask for prayer.  I said, “I don’t usually answer the phone in the morning.”  She said, “I know you don’t and it is a miracle that you answered the phone today.”   She started to cry and I sensed they were tears of gratitude because she experienced a miracle and knew she was loved and cared for by God.  She said, “I now know there is a bigger picture.”  I encouraged her to see this as an opportunity for her to set her boundaries and stand up for herself, rather than feeling like a victim and blaming others.

I asked her to call and let me know the outcome of the phone call that she was about to make.  When she called me back a little while later, I could hear the strength and confidence in her voice.  She was able to clearly speak her truth and get her needs met.   We both knew it was the POWER OF PRAYER and that she had the courage to ask for help when she needed it.

After our conversation, I asked myself, “Why do we often wait until we are desperate to ask for help from God or another and experience a miracle?” Could it be our pride or that we feel  unworthy? Could it be that we don’t  want to bother another or God? Are we afraid of what others will think of us?  Are we afraid of being judged or rejected?   I am sure there are many reasons why we don’t ask for help when we need it. What are yours?

I recently came across a poem called “I AM THERE” by James Dillet Freeman. “Do you need me? I am there. You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by. Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me as I am, and then but as a feeling and a faith. Yet I am there. Yet I hear. Yet I answer. When you need me, I am there.”

Larry

 During one of our conversations about prayer, I mentioned to Pat that I have difficulty praying to God about someone who is very sick or dying or is going through a difficult time, etc.  I refer to this as a “petition prayer”.

 If I believe that everything we encounter in our lives is for our highest good, then,  asking God to intervene would be asking God to change his/her assessment. Would this mean that I knew what was better for that person than God did?  I will send love and light energy trusting that this will help the person in their predicament, but I won’t ask for them to get well or the difficult times to pass.

I had a couple of incidents last week when I asked God for help.   One was in a dream and the other one was with my part-time job.  In my dream, I had just climbed to the top of a cliff. When I got to the top, I turned around and looked down. I wasn’t sure that I would be able to climb down again.  I started to climb down and noticed a large cloth something like a sheet or bedspread hanging down the side of the cliff, so I grabbed hold of it and used it as leverage to help me climb down.  Suddenly the cloth began to tear.  As I looked up at the edge of the cliff, I noticed a metal cross in the ground.  As the cloth tore away, I grabbed onto the cross and began to pull myself up.  Then to my horror the cross began to bend from my weight.  I was really frightened now and yelled out, “God I could really use some help here.”  Then I noticed a small tree growing near the edge of the cliff.  It was small enough for me to get my hand around it as I pulled myself up to safety.  I’m not sure what dreams mean or what value they have al though this dream helped me to realize how important it is to allow Spirit into our lives to help us through the difficult times.   

I manage a vacation rental here on Maui.  I was working at my desk yesterday paying some bills and working on files.  I had a deposit check from folks who will be staying at the condo in the near future.  I put the check in a special place on my desk so I wouldn’t lose it.  I finished my work and turned off my laptop computer. I collected the material I had been working on and looked at the place where I had placed the check. It was gone.  I looked everywhere and couldn’t find it. This was the worst scenario I could imagine and I wasn’t sure what to do. 

I took a minute to sit down at my desk, collect my thoughts and calm down.  I said, “God I could really use your help.  I don’t know what happened to that check.”  Then a thought came to me immediately. “Look under your laptop.”  Sure enough, the check was there under my computer in the back.  Some folks may think that this was a coincidence.  I think it was asking and being open to receiving a gift from the energy of light and love.  Just like my dream, I was hanging off that cliff and love consciousness had my back.  Love always has our back. All we need to do is ask and be open to receive.  

 

If you are standing at a crossroads in your life and fear is your only companion and you are not sure which road to take (whether it be confronting an addiction, an abusive relationship, terminal illness, passing of a loved one), is it time for you ask for help? 

 

Learning to ask for help when you need it and trusting an energy far more powerful than you have ever known is the answer. Take that first step because Love has your back and we are never alone.

 

My break from organized religion was the beginning of my spirtual journey

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Mar
8

I am a “Prayer Warrior” and have been for many years. I believe in and have experienced the power of prayer many times in my life and the lives of others. My life is prayer in action. Unity author James Dillet Freeman wrote, “Prayer is a reaching, and every act of prayer stretches my soul.” I have been the “prayer” and the recipient of people praying for me.  I am comforted when I know someone is praying for me when I need it and feel a sense of comfort, protection and love.

When I am led to pray for someone or asked to pray for someone, it is always a privilege and honor to send love, light and healing.  We are all connected and I believe LOVE is all there is and all that is needed in this world.  When I am praying for someone, I visualize an invisible cord connecting my heart to their heart and I send them love.  I have 2 close friends that have been diagnosed with cancer and my heart is heavy. I believe that sending them love is the best thing that I can offer them.

Worrying and obsessing about a person I love not only lowers my vibration, but doesn’t help them either because worrying is an illusion and a waste of our time and energy.  My responsibility is to keep my vibration high living in the consciousness of love, joy and peace.  It is a decision to let go of fear and trust that God’s divine plan is perfect.

When I am praying for a loved one or a friend, I don’t always know what to pray for.  I am not God and don’t know what is God’s will for that person. I do know that God wants only our good in every situation. It is also my belief that we attract everything into our lives for our highest good – to grow our faith, deepen our relationship and dependence on God, experience a miracle, trust more deeply or experience love like we have never experienced it before.

It is not easy when something appears in our lives that rocks our worlds; like sickness, death, cancer, unemployment, divorce, etc.  At the time, I may find it difficult to believe it is for my highest good and that I attracted it into my life.  I may feel like a victim, feel sorry for myself or blame someone for what is happening.  I choose not to stay in this state of consciousness for long because I believe in God’s goodness and love. It is usually afterward that I realize all the good that came from what happened.

It is important that we allow ourselves to feel all of our feelings and not push them down or judge them because we think it is not “spiritual.” We need to allow ourselves time to grieve for as long as we need to so we will be able to surrender to “what is” and accept our circumstances.  That can take a week, or years or whatever is needed to move through it. We need to be gentle and patient with ourselves.

I have experienced all of the above at one time or another. My mother died when I was 20 years old and my daughter-in-law died at the age 37 from cancer leaving 2 young children and my son alone.  My ex-husband was out of work for a year and we had 4 small children to care for. God always provided and often in miraculous ways.  It was during those difficult times that I really learned to TRUST God for everything.  I encourage you to TRUST that whatever is happening in your life is a perfect divine unfolding that is leading you to the manifestation of your dreams.

When we trust deeply, we will experience many blessings. One of the greatest blessings I have received is the gift of PEACE. My intention every morning for the last 3 decades is to love, to be peaceful and to serve.  I recently added to be happy.  It is my hope that if I lost everything, but I have God’s peace and presence in my heart, I would know that I was rich.  It says in scripture “I have promised to keep you in perfect peace to the extent that you trust in me. ”

I asked myself, “How do I maintain my peace of mind?”

* I stay connected to the God within through my consciousness

* I pray about everything and ask for guidance

* I DETACH when I need to and let go of control and MY PLAN   (I Let Go and Let God)

* I am a detective with my thoughts to make sure they are aligned with Christ consciousness

* I SHOW UP and spend time each morning in prayer, meditation and reading spiritual books

* I ACCEPT “what is” and stop resisting whatever is showing up in my life

* I practice an “ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE”

* I TRUST that God has my back and that I am loved, safe and protected

* I forgive myself and others when needed

* I know the TRUTH of who I am and where I came from

LARRY

I believe there are as many ways to pray as there are human beings.  Prayer is a personal act, for me very private and difficult to write about.  I feel that we all have to find our own way to communicate with our God. 

I was brought up in a Roman Catholic environment where I was taught to say specific prayers for specific services of the church.  I was expected to follow the Ten Commandments, church laws, attend mass and confession regularly and I would get to a place called heaven when I died.  As I grew older, I started to have a lot of questions about life and my religion that I found I couldn’t answer. 

I started to take responsibility for my relationship with God, Spirit, Source or Universe. It doesn’t really make any difference what you call it.  I became aware that when praying in a structured religion, I was mostly asking for forgiveness and feeling like a failure for not being able to obey all the rules and laws I was expected to obey.  I was afraid that if I didn’t obey these rules I would be severely punished.

My break away from organized religion was the real beginning of my conscious spiritual journey. I became aware that I had to take responsibility for the relationship and growth of my spiritual experience. Over the years, my journey has taken me to many places from being very angry with God, to complete indifference, to gently and slowly coming to a place of faith, in a source that has created all things from the energy and light of love. 

I no longer pray from a place of failure and disappointment. I don’t petition the creator and my communication with my God is filled with hope and gratitude. I am always lifted up, never put down. I am encouraged and led to open my heart to the energy and light of love.  I’m encouraged to love myself and by doing that, I will become a better vessel of love to others. I know I am worthy even though I’m not perfect. It’s not about perfection. It’s about being open to the free, no strings attached gift of love.  I look forward to each day’s adventure. I am completely open to learn how to become more conscious of who I am, who Spirit is and who we are together. 

No matter how you pray or who you pray to, I hope your experience is positive and fulfilling, I hope it knocks down your walls of resistance, so you will be able to welcome the gift of love into your life with an open heart. 

Always With Love,

Larry and Pat

 

YOU are the ONE you have been waiting for. Stop looking “out there”

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Feb
22

Alan Cohen in his book, “Wisdom of the Heart” writes “You can have it all. The Universe is capable of answering your every prayer. To RECEIVE your blessings, you must be willing to invest in them.  Your most powerful investment is YOURSELF.“

My son, Tim, writes in his online program Finally Finding the ONE “So many of us are looking for The ONE “out there.”  The truth is that YOU are the ONE.  We will always attract what and who we are inside of ourselves. We attract our reflection. We often want to change our external selves believing that will bring The ONE into our lives.  However, it will just bring someone into our lives that will meet out external selves. Our ego-self.  The core of all our challenges is an insufficient amount of self-acceptance, appreciation and love. Truly loving ourselves is what resolves all of our insecurities.  And our insecurities are what create the bulk of challenges in our relationships. We’re either consciously or unconsciously afraid of being hurt so we create barriers and sabotaging patterns that keep us stuck. When we love ourselves unconditionally, we do two things:  1- We stop responding from fear and protection in our relationships. 2- We stop attracting partners who are operating from fear too.”

As I thought about what Tim wrote and my journey of 15 years of trusting and believing that I would meet my soul mate, I realized that indeed I had learned to love, accept and appreciate myself.  I had found the ONE and that ONE was ME. In my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” I wrote “I have experienced deep inner healing and personal growth in the process of waiting, as well as a deeper relationship with God and a stronger faith. I depend on God for everything and know that He is the source of all of my needs.”

Here is a letter I wrote to myself ( which is in my book) from God before my book was published.

“Dear Patricia, Be at peace, be at peace, trust, trust. Beyond your wildest dreams will your soul mate come into your life. He will come to you. You don’t have to do anything, but just BE. Learn to love yourself compassionately. You are beautiful, cherished and loved. All is well and on time. Practice being in the moment. Let Joy exude from you.  It is your Joy that will draw your soul mate to you. I give you the gift of Joy this day.”

For many years growing up my father’s words to me was FIND YOURSELF.  Of course, as a young girl I had no idea what that meant and I am not sure he knew what it meant either.  I don’t believe he ever found himself, but was probably searching for himself as I searched for myself for so many years.

I have expanded it to FIND YOURSELF, KNOW YOURSELF AND BE YOURSELF.  What a powerful process of discovering, and recovering my true self/ God self/Divine self.  I was willing to do the work of forgiveness and transformation.  It was not always easy and I often felt impatient and discouraged because I wanted it my way. I didn’t want to wait 15 years to attract my soul mate into my life. I had to let go and surrender MY PLAN and trust GOD’S PLAN for my life.  Surrendering and trusting means giving up attachments to RESULTS.  When we have an attachment to results, we have a hard time giving up control and waiting.

I am so grateful that I had the grace to let go, trust and surrender MY PLAN because as Alan Cohen writes,“You can have it all. The Universe is capable of answering your every prayer.” God has truly answered my prayers and I HAVE IT ALL.  I have a relationship with the ONE and that is ME and I have a relationship with my soul mate, LARRY. I continually strive to KNOW and BE myself.

I am sure we have all heard what we see in others is a part of us both the light and the darkness.  I have attracted into my life what was inside of me as Larry is my reflection.  I SEE his kindness, generosity, gentleness, loving, friendliness, caring, sensitivity, honesty, authenticity, faithfulness, openness, flexibility and his desire to be a VESSEL OF LOVE.   After I read the list of qualities to Larry, I asked him, “Do you see these qualities in yourself?”  He said, “Well, I see them in YOU so they must be in ME.”  He laughed and said, “Would you please write them on the wall so I can see them every day to remind myself?”

I asked myself, “Do I see these qualities in myself and am I willing to embrace them as mine?  I can truthfully say YES I see these qualities in myself.  It has taken me years to FIND MYSELF and embrace these qualities.

I am also able to recognize what I don’t like in myself in Larry.  When I recognize something in Larry that I don’t like, it is an opportunity for me to look more deeply into my heart and what I need to love and accept in me.  This is not always easy to do.  For example:  he likes to tell me what to do sometimes and I feel irritated. The truth is that I like to tell him what to do sometimes too when my mouth is ready to give him advice.  We are both learning to respect and honor one another and ourselves one day at a time.

Larry

When Pat and I became friends, she noticed early on that I had difficulty accepting praise or compliments.  As we got to know each other better, she recognized that in some ways I had a problem loving myself. She helped me to realize that I had some very good qualities and she has always been free with her compliments and support. She suggested that it was not being conceited or selfish to claim them for myself.  I think I’ve come a long way and I’m in a much better place now than I was then.  When I read those wonderful words she expressed about me in this blog I still feel a bit guilty and wonder how I’m going to live up to them.  I still have work to do in that area and others but I realize it’s not a quick fix and I’m loving myself better all the time. I feel the energy and light of love in my life and my tank is full.  

I was thinking, when our vehicles get low on fuel we go to the gas station and fill our tanks.  When our love tanks are low or empty it could be a sign that we don’t love ourselves enough. Maybe we’ve been under too much stress lately or working long hours or have gone through a difficult experience.  Is it time for a “LOVE CHECK?”  It sounds like your battery is low and your love tank is empty.  It could be time to take some love time for you.  Do something fun, spend some quality time with loved ones or perhaps just get some rest. 

When my love tank is full and I am loving  myself, I am able to share that love with others by offering  acts of kindness and support.   When I am kind or loving to another person, I contribute to filling their love tank and my love tank also benefits from that experience. 

Recently a friend of ours crossed over to the other side to continue his journey via a new adventure.  We attended a beautiful celebration of life in his honor. During the ceremony, guests were given the opportunity to share experiences they had with him.  The contributions consisted of experiences of love and kindness that friends remembered about him that touched their hearts.  These are experiences they will remember whenever his name comes to mind.  

I endeavor (I believe we all do) to be a loving and caring soul.  Many times I know I come up short.  I have a tendency to remember those times more than the times I succeed.  I know my friend was a loving person who touched many souls in a loving way, but like the rest of us, I’m sure he had some regrets. 

What is amazing is that when we think of someone who has left this reality we don’t usually dwell on our disappointments in them.  Instead, we have a tendency to remember and share the kindness and love experiences that touched our lives from knowing them. I think that’s a wonderful human trait.   Many times the memories we have of someone are the little experiences that are remembered.  Isn’t it wonderful  to know how much small kindnesses make a difference in our lives.  In most cases they can brighten our day, lift our spirits and warm our hearts. 

Perhaps it’s time to realize that loving one another reminds us that we are all connected. The one common thread that connects us is the energy and light of love. Yes, we are all different in some ways and sometimes we say and do things that hurt each other.  We are not perfect. I don’t believe perfection is what it’s all about.  Love will show us how to forgive, heal and move on.  I believe life’s purpose is to learn how to love ourselves so we can  become vessels of love. I invite you on this journey and together we can overcome our differences and walk this journey of love together. 

I didn’t want to do a “Spiritual Bypass” with my anger

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Feb
22

My portion of the blog was completed and ready to be edited. I wasn’t feeling comfortable and wondered if Spirit wanted me to write about something different. I remember thinking to myself; I don’t have anything else significant to write about until my experience with Larry this morning.

A few months ago a good friend of mine, Donna, asked, “Do you and Larry ever argue?” I said, “No, we hardly ever argue. We are both pretty easy going and don’t let things bother us.”

I planned on attending a water aerobics class this morning and was running late. I had finished my breakfast while Larry was still making his. I put the dishes in the sink and since I was late turned to him and said, “Do you mind doing these dishes for me since I am running late? “I don’t like to leave my dishes in the sink for him to wash, but I didn’t think he would mind since he would have to do his when he was through with his breakfast. He didn’t say anything to me but the LOOK was enough to communicate to me that he wasn’t very pleased about it. He then said, “I don’t want this to become a habit when you are running late.”

I REACTED in a huff and said, “Never mind, I will do them myself.” I was ticked! I gathered my stuff up and said, “I love you, goodbye.” I could feel the tears already welling up in my eyes. I got in the car and felt the hurt as the tears rolled down my cheeks. Hurt was always easier to feel than my anger. I was taught not to feel angry so I pushed my anger down until it erupted, and often then came out sideways and at the wrong person.

Instead of staying stuck in the HURT feeling and crying, I allowed myself to really feel my anger. Being in the car is a great place to release anger because no one hears you and you can say anything you want. I let it rip and felt better afterwards. I want my vibration to be as high as it can be and I know anger and resentment lowers my vibration. Love and joy are the highest vibration and that is where I strive to be.

I am no longer willing to do a SPIRITUAL BYPASS and push my feelings down. Giving myself permission to feel my anger and get my feelings up and out is a gift I give to myself and ultimately to the relationship. Whenever we want to “override” our feelings because they are uncomfortable and go right to love, we are trying to do a SPIRITUAL BYPASS. It doesn’t work.

By the time I arrived at my water aerobics class, I felt almost peaceful and was able to send Larry love. It was pretty amazing how quickly I was able to work through it. After class I took a long walk along the ocean and did what gives me pleasure – smiling and saying hello to people I pass on the path. I then had my car washed which made me feel really good.

I greeted Larry with a hug when I returned home from class. After I was home a little bit I said, “We need to talk about this morning,” He agreed. As we sat down to talk, he crossed his arms across his chest and quickly realized what his body language was communicating to me and we both laughed.

We both shared our perspectives of what happened that morning, which of course, was very different.  He was feeling upset because he didn’t want to be taken advantage of. His perspective was that I often leave my dishes in the sink and my perspective was I hardly ever leave them in the sink.  During our conversation and listening to one another, we were able to identify some old patterns that were being triggered from past relationships.

After some time of communicating with one another, we were able to work out a plan that was satisfactory to both of us. We both felt respected, loved and heard. What could have become a big struggle, turned out really well. This is a little thing but we wanted to take care of it before it became a big thing.

LARRY

On one of Eckhart Tolle’s CDs (The New Earth) he talks about how all of nature is alive and connected.  How everything and everyone is all part of one consciousness.  He also suggests that nature doesn’t realize how beautiful it is and how much it contributes to our joy and happiness until we communicate that.  

I thought that was an interesting observation, I had never realized that nature wouldn’t automatically know the effect it had on the whole.  It appears that the sky, sun, mountains, oceans, trees, flowers and birds and all of nature need our recognition to understand that they are awesome, appreciated and beautiful. They need to know that we are awestruck by their vastness and beauty, that just being near them and experiencing their fragrance and color fill our spirits and hearts with joy and happiness.  

We live in one of the most beautiful places on earth. How often do we rush around all day, pass by all this natural beauty and not recognize it?  Doing this is such a disservice to us and nature.  How much joy, happiness and love energy can we receive from just noticing the beauty of a flower?  “Wow” what about the incredibly beautiful sunsets we experience daily on Maui. They don’t know they are beautiful until we tell them so and share with them the joy and happiness we experience every time they appear.

I walk three miles most mornings just before the sun breaks over the mountains.  Everything seems fresh and new, nature waking up to a great new day. The birds chatter deliriously at the prospect of a new day and a new adventure.  I try to take everything in: and tell the flowers that they are beautiful and that they fill my heart with joy and gratitude.  

Have you ever wondered how many people we meet each day or walk by, who may need just a little recognition and appreciation? My daily walks use to take me through one of our beautiful parks. Most days I would see the same homeless person sitting on the grass near the walkway. I would greet him and sometimes stop and chat with him. One day, I commented that he had a discovered a great place to sit near the ocean. He commented, “Ya I like it here. A lot of people walk by and some even say hi or good morning.”  I thought, “Hmmm it’s so important for all of us to be recognized and appreciated.”

How often do we express our love and appreciation for our family members?  We get caught up in the daily grind of making a living, providing for our family, raising children, etc.  Some parents may think, “Hey! How about a little recognition and appreciation for all we do around here.” Some children may think “We work hard in school to get good grades and be good students. We could use a little recognition and appreciation also.”  A few moments of love and appreciation go a long way.

Pat and I have a really wonderful relationship and we realize how important it is to recognize and appreciate each other. Mostly in little ways like thanking each other when we do a chore without having to be asked or making the bed or washing the dishes or making lunch or dinner. A simple recognition and “thank you” goes a long way!  

We appreciate one another when we show interest in each other’s day and really listen when one of us is sharing about something that is important to them. We communicate our love for one another at different times during the day when you would perhaps least expect it. We say things like “I love you” or “I think you have beautiful blue eyes” or “You look beautiful tonight.”  Pat loves little gifts or flowers and cards. I try to pay attention to that.  

What if we changed our attitude from one who needs to be served, to one who will look for ways to be a vessel of love and serve? Do you ever think of saying good morning or hi or aloha to someone you don’t know? It may be the only time that day the person will be recognized and appreciated as an individual.  

On Maui, we have so many people in the service industry. Perhaps taking an extra couple of seconds to recognize them (most have name tags) by saying “hi” use their names, saying “thank you” use their names.  They are not robots; they are real people with hearts and souls. Remember we are all one and we are all connected.

I have made it my practice to recognize and greet every person I meet. I feel it is an important way to be a vessel of love. Some return my greeting and some do not, no worries. I have offered them the gift of love and they can either accept it or refuse it. Not my problem. My responsibility is to offer the gift with no strings attached.

I encourage everyone to find little ways to recognize and appreciate each other. I think when we do that we give the energy and light of love a chance to manifest in all our lives.

I didn’t feel guilty of selfish for giving myself pleasure

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Feb
11

I met someone this week (who was an acquaintance) that I hadn’t seen in over a year. The first and only thing she said to me was, “Are you HAPPY?” I looked at her smiling and said, “Yes, very happy.” That was the end of the conversation.

As I pondered the question in my mind, I asked myself, “What makes me happy?” There are many things that make me happy. Certainly being in a loving, committed relationship with Larry makes me happy. But, I was happy before we got into a relationship and I was happy before I moved to Maui. I was happy because I had learned to love and appreciate myself. I was happy because I had learned how to give myself PLEASURE. Here is a quote I found. “The essence of pleasure is spontaneity” Germaine Greer. Instead of being a RUSHaholic, BUSYaholic, DOaholic, WORKaholic, FOODaholic, I am practicing and declaring myself to be a PLEASUREaholic, PEACEaholic and PLAYaholic.

As an Addiction Therapist for over 20 years, I have worked with people with all kinds of addictions: food, alcohol, drugs, hoarding, shopping, sexual, religious, gambling, relationships and internet. Whenever we are addicted to something, we are trying to fill the “Hole in the Soul” with something outside of us. We often don’t want to feel our feelings and the pain inside of us. We haven’t yet done the work of healing, forgiving and transformation. One of the symptoms of addictions is that you need more and more of the “drug” to get the desired result – which is a high to numb the pain inside. It never works and never fills us. We received an email from one of our readers this week.

“I am writing to thank you both for your inspirations. keep ’em coming! Particularly today Pat, your suggestion about “GOING WITHIN” has hit home. I have received that specific message for the last 2 days (at least), coming through in different ways to gain my attention. It has! I have had resistance though, as I have been a ‘DOaholic’ much of my life. I have recognized a pattern of energy that I no longer believe, but just to state it here: I would think I was ‘fat and lazy’ and unproductive if I wasn’t physically “DOING,” or moving all the time. I recognize that it was just an ego-generated fear. It was indeed ‘false evidence appearing real’, and certainly not the Truth of Who I AM. So now, if the thought comes up around that, I transmute it as soon as I am aware of it, saying ‘cancel, clear, delete.’

I am reading a book by Dr.Christiane Northrup called “Goddesses Never Age.” She writes, “We must reclaim the power of PLEASURE. Pleasure is a divine gift we give ourselves and a powerful medicine. We have forgotten the importance of pleasure and we must practice regularly to establish HAPPINESS & JOY in our bodies and life. A discipline of pleasure is an investment in your health. Experiencing pleasure is crucial for vibrant health. It is not selfish, but a gift I give myself. Be an ageless Goddess of pleasure.”

WOW, after reading this I knew I was on the right track because I am very aware of what gives me PLEASURE in my life. I try to give myself more pleasure each day because it feels SO GOOD. This has been a process and didn’t happen overnight. Just like the person who wrote above, I struggled with giving myself permission to experience pleasure, enjoyment and not be DOING something all the time.

I had to change old beliefs that no longer served me. For example: When I am DOING and making things happen, I experience a sense of control and power. It felt like I was accomplishing something when I crossed off things from my “to do” list and therefore, felt worthy of love. I usually put PLEASURE last on my list, after all my “responsibilities” to others were completed.

I know today that I don’t have to ask permission to seek or receive pleasure. I GIVE IT TO MYSELF and don’t feel guilty or selfish anymore. Pleasure leads to happiness and my happiness serves the world and myself because it keeps my vibrational energy high. I want to be so happy that when others look at me they become happy too. Along with my “appreciation list” about myself that I do nightly, I decided to start a “pleasure list.” I will review the day and think about what brought me pleasure and then DO MORE OF IT. So many things give me pleasure. Here are some of the simple things that bring me pleasure:

*Waking up slowly in the morning and feeling grateful for the day
*Listening to the birds singing to me
*Stretching my back with yoga each morning
*Curling up in bed and reading a good book
*Having morning coffee in bed with Larry
*Sitting outside with the sun shining and the breeze blowing on my face
*Going for walks in nature and noticing the beauty all around me
*Eating my food slowly and tasting the flavors and texture of what I am eating
*Listening to my favorite Hawaiian radio station at home and in the car
*Going for car rides in my new car with no destination
*Just letting the day unfold with nothing planned
*Connecting with friends on Facebook
*Painting, dancing and writing
*Watching a movie with Larry and having my feet scratched and rubbed
*Hugging, especially when we go to bed at night
*Going to yard sales or consignment shops and finding a bargain or just what I am looking for
*Meeting new people and listening to their stories
*Inspiring someone to trust God and live their dream
*Having a glass of wine at the end of the day and watching the sunset
*Wearing a flower in my hair or a colorful hat
*Smiling and saying hello to people when I walk on the beach
*Taking a hot bath and luxuriating my body
*Going to the beach or swimming in my favorite pool

Alan Cohen in his book, “Wisdom of the Heart” writes “Take the time to enjoy your life. You can allow yourself PLEASURE and still fulfill your responsibilities. And if you keep your Spirit happy, you will actually accomplish your tasks more quickly, easily and efficiently. Each day, set aside time to nourish your soul. Explore music, art, or dance; read for pleasure, get together with friends, play with your pet, engage in a hobby; or get out in nature. When you do something you love even for a short time each day, you will recharge your batteries and find the strength and energy to do the things you need to do.”

Would you like to join me and practice becoming a PLEASUREaholic, PEACEaholic and PLAYaholic? I truly believe this is how God intended for us to live our lives; loving and appreciating ourselves, allowing ourselves to experience peace, play and pleasure. Only as we learn to love and appreciate ourselves, are we capable of loving others unconditionally. Life is short, you are worth it. Larry will be back next week writing!

We would love to hear from you and welcome your responses to this blog. What do you do for pleasure and fun? Have you been inspired to do something differently as a result of reading this?

 

I needed to DETACH from my loved one or lose my peace

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Feb
5

A few days ago I read in one of my spiritual books that “anything that makes us anxious is a growth opportunity.”  I didn’t know why I wrote it down in my journal, because I don’t consider myself an anxious person, but I did.  I believe that everything we attract into our lives is for our highest good and there is always a gift for us when we are open to receive it. I also believe that everything has a purpose and serves us.

This morning I woke up “anxious” and worried about a person I loved.  I then remembered writing about anxiety in my journal.  I asked myself, “How is this anxiety a growth opportunity?”  Could it be that I needed to explore some beliefs that no longer served me? Was it an opportunity to heal something from my past that was coming up in the present? When I am anxious, I am focusing on the “visible world” and leaving God out of the picture. Was it a reminder that there is only NOW, no past or future to dwell on and to fix my eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen? It is in the present moment that I experience the Divine.

As I prayed and meditated about it, I recognized that the situation I was anxious about with the person I loved was being triggered by an experience that I had when I was 22 years old.  I was naïve and didn’t know what I know today.  Of course, I wanted to protect my loved one and spare them unnecessary pain.  I didn’t want what happened to me to happen to the person I loved.

Could it be that I’ve traveled that road and remembered the pain and suffering that it caused in my own life?  Alan Cohen, in his book, “Wisdom of the Heart” writes “Every thought is a prayer. WORRY is a form of prayer. It is the form most practiced by most people.” I know that worry is an illusion and robs me of my peace of mind. Worrying about someone doesn’t help me or the other person I am concerned about. It just lowers my vibration.

What happens to you when you think someone you care about and love may be going down a slippery road that could be harmful to them?   Do you try to control them and make them see the (YOUR) light? Do you nag them to change their ways? Do you worry and obsess and make yourself sick?

I reminded myself that I am not responsible for another person’s choices and paths they travel. What another person does or doesn’t do is really none of my business.  It may be exactly what they need to learn their lessons that will help them grow and expand. I had already been honest and shared my concerns and experience with the person I loved.

Here was the opportunity for me to grow.  This is what I did to maintain my PEACE OF MIND:

* I let go of my worry and anxiety and refused to worry. This is the gift I gave myself.

* I trusted God that everything was in the perfect and right order.

* I let go of my control, of thinking I had the answers for the person I loved.

* I detached with love.

* I prayed and sent love and light.

* I trusted they would make the right choices for their life.

When I finished my prayer and meditation, I felt completely peaceful.

Larry

I woke up one morning at 4:30 a.m. with this scripture passage running through my head and I couldn’t get back to sleep until I wrote down my thoughts.  The passage was “Unless you are like little children you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.” 

What is a little child like? A little child is innocent, trusting, playful, vulnerable and completely open to copious amounts of love.  They don’t ask for it, they expect it. I think that it is probably because that’s the way it was where they came from. 

I think Spirit is reminding us that we can experience the kingdom of heaven right here and NOW. When we choose to be like little children again; to be open, to trust, to expect love to shower us with its gifts of energy and light, then we can be transported to total love consciousness 

I asked myself, “What is keeping me from receiving this incredible love energy that is being freely offered to me?” Like a little child, I am learning to be more TRUSTING and let go of what CONTROL I think I have over my life. When an opportunity arises that appears to be difficult, I am learning to LET GO of panic and concern and just be open to love’s energy in the moment. 

What works best for me is to remind myself to live in the NOW, one moment at a time. This worked well for me when we arrived in Sydney, Australia to find out the hotel we had reserved was non-existent and later the taxi we reserved to take us to the airport never showed up.  I didn’t panic. Instead, I TRUSTED that things would work out for us and they did. 

We can choose to remove all barriers and obstacles we’ve placed between us and love. We need to stand naked and innocent before God and allow love to transform us from fear to complete openness and trust. 

Hopefully, we will become completely love conscious and realize that the kingdom of heaven is upon us, always has been, always will be.  Have you ever wondered if perhaps heaven is not a place up above but is a consciousness realized through love, a consciousness we were born from and a consciousness we will return to when our earthly journey is finished.

I am dedicated to walking the rest my journey with love consciousness and invite all to do the same.  

In his book, “Wisdom of the Heart,” Alan Cohen writes, “Children are magnificent teachers because they live in innocence. All of us are born in simplicity, but then we learn complexity. By watching children, we can reclaim the innocence we gave away. Kids live in the moment, play frequently, let their imaginations soar, ask for what they want, let their emotions rise and fall, laugh often, have no sense of shame, don’t believe that they have to earn their good, and don’t fear death. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. To do so, simply drop what you have been taught and remember what you know.”

 

Fear was my constant companion

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Jan
27

People often comment to me that I inspire them. I love to hear that because it is truly my mission and desire to INSPIRE people to “go within” and find God. I believe that it is only by “going within” that I have discovered Love and embraced my greatness, power and divinity. I want everyone to know that the same Love, greatness and divinity is inside of them. Here is a part of an email that I received from a woman after reading our last blog. It touched my heart.

“I loved your post today. Both you and Larry’s writing really spoke to me and I want to start changing the way I live. I get up each day and feel like I go from branch to branch like a monkey and before I know it, half the day is over and I don’t know where it goes. I want to change that. Thank you for leading me to “The Spirit Post.” I want to take the time each day now when I awake to read one article, poem to start my day. You both have lifted my spirit weekly when I receive your posts. I want to thank you and Larry for giving me just what I was looking for to keep me centered in my spiritual world. I had gotten away from my spirituality and I feel you both have helped to bring it back.”

I am celebrating my 4th year anniversary of moving to Maui. The gratitude and joy I feel is beyond words and indescribable. I didn’t know HOW I could do it nor did I have the answers before I took the leap of faith and followed my heart 5,000 miles away from all I loved in my life. I just knew I had to follow my heart. Even though I couldn’t see what was ahead for my future, I trusted God to lead me and stepped out in faith.

When I was in the throes and thick of fear while writing my book, I often cried myself to sleep because I didn’t know HOW to do it or think that I COULD DO IT! I felt so overwhelmed by the whole ordeal of publishing and marketing a book that I put my manuscript to bed for a whole year. I said to God, “You have chosen the wrong person, I am not doing it.” I didn’t care that I had already spent lots of money and time on editing and writing workshops. What is interesting is that I didn’t know it was FEAR. I was in total DENIAL and told myself, “I just don’t want to do it.”

It wasn’t until I was preparing to lead a retreat called, “Love is letting go of fear” that my eyes were opened. Until I admitted to myself, God and another person that it was fear, I stayed stuck with a manuscript almost finished in my drawer. Once I admitted that is was fear, I asked God for help. I asked to be led and literally within 2 days my answers came and I had the direction I needed to finish my book. It was a year later, (after 6 years of writing) that “Simply a Woman of Faith” was published.

My God is patient and waited for a year for me to come around and say YES to His plan. I had to be willing, surrender my doubts and fears and ask for guidance. I am so grateful for God’s grace and that I trusted God’s plan for my life. What I know with all my heart is that God’s plan is to prosper me and it is always GOOD. God has placed your dreams and desires in your heart and will help you manifest them. You don’t need to know HOW they will happen. All you need to know is what your dreams are.

Is God calling you to step out of the boat and take a leap of faith into the unknown? It may be leaving a marriage that is no longer working or a job that bores you to death and you are not living your dream? Only you know what is in your heart and what is holding you back. Don’t let your dreams die inside of you.

If I hadn’t identified my fears and asked for help, I would not be living with my soul mate on Maui and living the life of my dreams. Fear is useless, what is needed is trust. Fear is False Evidence Appearing Real.

Larry

Do we realize how much we allow fear to affect our lives?  How often do we allow fear to determine what decisions we make or don’t make.  Fear is so insidious and hides itself so completely that we don’t even know it’s there inside of us making our lives miserable. The more we allow fear to go unrecognized, the worse it gets. Have you ever been in a situation where you just can’t make a decision and you don’t know why?

When I sold my catering business I was 45 years old and had to find a way to make a living. I didn’t want to admit it, but fear was my constant companion. I felt frightened and alone.  I was going through a divorce after 21 years of marriage and had to find a new place to live and get used to living alone.  I struggled with this because my life had changed so dramatically in a short time.  It’s very difficult for a man to admit that he’s afraid because we are taught to be strong, macho and the protectors. Fear is viewed as weak and shameful.

 

I think many men push fear down and medicate it with one addiction or another.  We are often not even aware that it is fear- related.  After a while I thought, “Perhaps I’d like to meet someone but dating over the last 21 years had really changed.  Being 20 years older didn’t help with my self- confidence either.”  Just the thought of dating was scary. Did I want to put myself out there, become vulnerable and take the risk of getting hurt again?  I struggled through that and at times it wasn’t pretty, but I persevered and eventually I became comfortable with the single life and dating again. As I look back at those years, I think it could have been a lot easier if I had the consciousness that I have today.

 

What I didn’t realize back then was that I had a choice. There is another power available to us that is stronger than fear, more powerful than anything created by humankind, that is the power of LOVE!  We don’t have to go through life’s difficulties alone and allow fear to paralyze us.

 

I have learned that LOVE is the energy and light of GOD.  LOVE is offered to us every moment of every day. We can’t earn it because it is a gift just waiting to be accepted. I can choose fear or I can choose LOVE.  I know this sounds simple and it is, but it’s not easy. I had to stop thinking that I wasn’t worthy or good enough to receive LOVE. I learned love cannot be earned.  Like most of us, I’ve made mistakes in my life and, at times, felt like I haven’t measured up.  How many of you have felt that way?  I realized LOVE is never a question of worthiness. We just need to be open to receive the unconditional gift that is being offered.

 

You may want to try this response the next time you feel fear threatening you. I say something like this, “I am not accepting fear in this situation, I delete all fearful thoughts, I CHOOSE THE POWER OF LOVE. I DELETE FEAR AND CHOOSE LOVE, I DELETE FEAR AND CHOOSE LOVE”. Repeat this as often as you need too. I hope you find this helpful. Love has never let me down. The next time fear presents itself in your life, what will you choose?

 

 

 

I am a Recovering Busyaholic and Rushaholic

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Jan
20
I had just finished writing in my journal, “Lord, guide me with my “sacred time” and let me check in with myself before every activity I plan. I know that I am responsible for the pace and peace I bring to each moment.
I opened up Alan Cohen’s book “Wisdom of the Heart” pg. 71.  It said, “Take the time to enjoy your life. You can allow yourself pleasure and still fulfill your responsibilities. When you do something you love for even a short time each day, you will recharge your batteries and find the strength and energy to do the things you need to do.”
The word that spoke to my heart was TAKE the time to enjoy your life. It is yours and mine for the taking. Do you take TIME for yourself to nurture your spirit or are you too busy with other things to do? Are you always last on the to-do list because others are more important to take care of than you are? Do you feel guilty when you do something or take TIME for yourself to relax and perhaps do nothing?
I recently met a woman who was very stressed and overwhelmed and I was led to give her my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” I asked her if she liked to read and she said, “Yes, as a young girl I read all the time and loved it, but I don’t have the TIME to read anymore. She didn’t know that she does have the TIME to read, but didn’t TAKE it because she was too busy or didn’t feel deserving. What do you tell yourself you don’t have the TIME for: prayer & daily meditation, relaxing, eating healthy, exercising, creating a new project, dancing, playing, spending time with friends or family, doing nothing and just BEING? I had to learn to just BE and do nothing. If you don’t TAKE the time to do things that are enjoyable, good and healthy for you, what are you taking TIME for?
Busyness can be a distraction & an addiction from “what is inside of you” and your feelings. I know because I was a “BUSYAHOLIC” or “RUSHAHOLIC” to avoid the “hole in the soul” that I tried to fill with outside things. I remember years ago that I couldn’t or didn’t do what I wanted to do until everyone in my family was settled and happy. I realize now that I had it backwards. I know today that by loving and nurturing myself first, I can love and give to others. Unfortunately, our society is goal-oriented, work, work and get things done. There is never enough time for pleasure and fun. No wonder so many people have heart disease and are stressed out.
This is an affirmation I say, especially when I think I have too much to do and so little time to do it. “I have more than enough time to do all that is mine to do” because I do. I have to practice this affirmation and not get caught up in the old beliefs that busyness and being productive is good and relaxing and enjoying is bad. Here are some examples of old beliefs: There’s never enough time to do all that I want to do. Time is flying by. The older you get, the faster time goes. I often hear people say, “How did I ever work, I am so busy now?”
We are all given the same amount of “sacred” time each day to do what we want to do and what is important to us. Every moment, every breath is precious and I don’t take it for granted because it is a gift from God. I am not promised my next breath and neither are you. It is my desire and passion to live my life to the fullest and to live in joy and peace. So I ask myself before an activity, “Will this bring me joy?” At this time in my life, for the most part, I do what I want to do. I no longer push myself to try to please everyone else. If I don’t know what I want to do in the moment, I just do the next right thing and the next right thing. It always works and I get to where I want to be.
Being retired and living on Maui with all the wonderful activities to peruse has given me the opportunity to practice TAKING the time to do what I want to do. I can still get out of balance with busyness and doing too much. I know it almost immediately because I lose my peace and am irritable.
Because I want to use my TIME consciously and to enjoy the life God has given me, I know what my priorities are and what makes me peaceful, happy and joyful.
#1  Spending TIME in prayer and meditation every day.
#2 Loving myself and taking the TIME to BE and DO whatever I need in relation to my body, mind and spirit.
#3 Spending TIME with my partner, Larry, and nurturing our relationship.
#4 Spending TIME with friends and family.
#5 Spending TIME writing as my sacred service and being creative.
 I encourage you to TAKE the TIME to enjoy your life and have fun. This is your LIFE, not a dress rehearsal. Ask yourself, “What steps can I take to nurture my body, mind, and spirit today?”

LARRY
Many people are so busy every day that they don’t have the TIME to do everything they would like. The days just don’t seem long enough. Some folks have demanding careers or work two jobs to take care of their families and at the end of the day they are tired, frazzled and exhausted. All they want to do is crawl into bed and collapse. They are up again the next morning and do it all again. Do you ever feel like you are on a treadmill going around and around?
 
Our physical and psychological bodies are incredible but they do have a limit. When we pay attention to our bodies they will tell us when they are reaching their limit. If we don’t take the TIME to listen they will eventually break down.
 
As I have mentioned in past blogs, I had my own catering business for 16 years. I remember what happened to me around Christmas.  It was our busiest time of the year and we were working day and night.  My partner, Bob, and I had been going for days without stopping. I looked at him and said, “I can’t do this anymore. I have to leave for a while.” I felt like everything was closing in on me and I was suffocating. I’ve always had affection for forests and wilderness. I headed for a beautiful forest and reservoir that I used to frequent when I had more TIME. I walked up a trail and into the forest. There were no other people around and it was snowing lightly.  The deeper I walked into the forest, the more I began to feel the incredible powerful energy.  I felt like I wanted to hug a couple of trees. I sat down against one of them and just let the connection happen. The stress started to drain away as the snow fell gently on and around me.  I don’t remember how long I stayed there but when I left I felt refreshed, renewed and loved.
 
I was very happy that I had listened to my body and took the TIME I needed to refresh myself.  It seems to me that sometimes our priorities are out of whack and we continue to place ourselves on the bottom of the list. At the end of the day we have no TIME left to love ourselves.  When we’re going to take a trip some where we know enough to fill the tank of our vehicle with gas.  If we expect ourselves to address all the issues in our day we better take the TIME to fill ourselves with the energy we will need to take us through the day.
 
I believe that the energy and light of love is in each and every one of us. How wonderful it would be if we all started our day by taking the TIME to love ourselves first. Growing up I was taught to be considerate of others and that it was selfish to always think about what I needed or wanted. That is true, however, that doesn’t mean forgetting about myself and placing myself at the bottom of the list.
 
I’m retired now and it’s taken me 50 years to realize that I’m important enough to be placed on the top of my priority list.  As a gift, I offer you this practice.  Each morning when you wake up look into the mirror and tell yourself, “I Love You”, I’m so happy that you are me and I can’t wait to spend the day with you.  This was difficult for me to do at first because it felt strange and unnatural. I now find it a terrific way to start my day because it fills my tank.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
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