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All there is is LOVE

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Have you ever experienced a “shift” in yourself and you have no idea how or why it happened? You may have struggled your whole life with something and then it seems like suddenly, the struggle is gone and you are FREE.

I know it must be God’s grace when that happens. What else could it be?

I have struggled all my life with my weight and being obsessed with getting on the scale, even though I was never really overweight.  As I look back over the years, it seems like I tried every kind of fad diet around. I always wanted to be thinner than I was. When I lost weight, I felt good about myself and when I gained weight, I didn’t feel good about myself. I constantly compared myself to others and how thin they were.

When I was about 12 years old, every week I accompanied my mother to the doctor and was prescribed diet pills. As sick as this sounds, it almost felt like a bonding experience. The sad part was that I was not overweight and have no idea why my mother thought I needed diet pills. That went on for several years and I remember driving to the doctor to get my own diet pills when I was 17 years old. It is truly a miracle and I am grateful that I never became addicted to the pills and stopped using them on my own.

So here it is 60 years later and I was still struggling with body image and getting on the scale. Even though I understood intellectually that it came from being prescribed diet pills at a young age, I couldn’t seem to move beyond it. It was like I needed to be a certain weight to feel loved and valued.

It didn’t matter that I now had a husband who loved my body just as it was. I prayed and meditated and affirmed that I loved my body just as it was. Despite this, every few days I found myself needing to get on the scale and it was always the same feelings. If I gained 2 or 3 pounds, I didn’t feel good about myself and if I lost 2-3 pounds, I felt good about myself. It felt like a vicious cycle that I just couldn’t break no matter what I did.

I didn’t want to be attached or obsessed with being the perfect weight, but didn’t know what to do about it other than pray and ask for help. I came to a place of acceptance (even though I didn’t like it) that this was something I would struggle with for the rest of my life.

I don’t know what happened or how it happened (other than God’s grace), but I no longer have the need to get on the scale and see how much I weigh. I now know that the number on the scale is just a number and has nothing to do with my self-worth or how lovable I am.

I can’t tell you how FREE I feel after all of these years of struggling and not feeling thin enough or good enough.   The only way I can describe my new attitude is that “IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE.”  When you have struggled with something for almost all your life and made it so important and now it doesn’t matter, it is a tremendous relief.

I can see this attitude of “IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE” seeping into other areas of my life. I am not taking things personally and am able to let things roll off my shoulders more easily. I am able to recognize my ego thoughts more quickly and see the truth. I love my new attitude! There is so much that doesn’t matter that I have made matter during my lifetime. I have given my power away and lost my peace by wanting to please everyone and wanting to be perfect.

As I reflected on this, I would like to share what DOES MATTER TO ME. My relationship with Spirit is number 1 and to know that I am in alignment with God’s will and am a vessel of love in all of my relationships every day is what matters.  I want to remember that I am Love and that Love is all there is.  I want to remember that I am ONE with God and there is no separation. I want to remember that I am always guided and protected when I trust and surrender.

Love wants us to be free, to love ourselves just as we are (with all our imperfections). I am grateful that I didn’t give up and kept trusting in the power of Love to heal me and free me.  Is there an area in your life that you need God’s grace to heal and free you?





Moving to a higher level of consciousness

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I want to thank all of you for responding to my last blog and sharing your experiences and what’s going on in your life. Please know I hold you in my heart and prayers. I trust that what Spirit has revealed to me this week will benefit you and help you understand what you may be going through. It has helped me tremendously to move forward.  I am grateful that I was guided to surrender and trust Spirit when I had no idea what was going on.

My friend, Mary, who is a healer and author of “Divinely Touched” called me after reading my blog last week and said, “Pat, what’s going on?” I replied, “I don’t know.” She said, “You are definitely going through the Ascension Process. I had heard of the Ascension Process, but didn’t know what it meant. I was curious to learn about it in hopes I could make some sense of my recent experience of emotional upset and exhaustion.

What I have learned through my research is that Ascension is the process of a “spiritual awakening” that moves you into a higher level of consciousness. The more we grow spiritually, the more our energy increases, and the more we will understand how perfectly everything is orchestrated. The individual is becoming more heart centered, compassionate and creative, and is also opening to greater cosmic consciousness. We are all moving through a transformative process whether we are aware of it or not. It could be a health challenge, grief, relationship problems, emotional upset or loss of job.

During the ascension process changes are occurring on all levels of your being. The changes you will go through on your ascension path will not always be easy. Spiritual growth and ascension although incredibly positive, may have chaotic, uncomfortable, and challenging symptoms that appear on the path.. Your energy and your vibration state is higher. The more positive your energy is (high vibration), the more you will attract positive circumstances in your life.

Your system is rebooting, being ‘tuned up’ or upgraded. Old patterns begin to fall away as one starts to embody much more light. Things that no longer serve your highest and greatest good will crumble fall away and dissolve to make way for what will ultimately serve you in the highest possible vibration for your life. During this process, our consciousness rises, our vibration elevates, and we expand becoming increasingly more connected to each other until there is only the One unifying consciousness of All That Is.

Ascension and awakening are all part of the soul awakening and expanding from this little light that ignites within our heart. ALL are emerging to become ONE. Awakening is the process of remembering who we truly are. When we incarnated on Earth, we voluntarily contracted spiritual amnesia; however, humanity has collectively chosen to awaken from this dream. We must expand our conscious awareness to encompass a much wider reality. During this process, it’s not uncommon to experience awakening symptoms, commonly known as “ascension flu.”

The ascension process purges so much of the darker and denser energies from us that we find ourselves in them for quite some time. We may feel like things are simply never going to get better. And to add insult to injury, the outer world is no longer in alignment with the new, higher vibrating you. Our emotions are what carry the energy. When we are falling apart (and we are doing just that), we can get pretty emotional. When we are releasing, we can cry at the drop of a hat. We can cry when we feel relief or cry when we see any kind of suffering. These tears are a great cleanser and releaser.

As I think about and process the past 3 or 4 weeks and my experience, I knew deep down that something powerful energetically was happening but as I shared, I had no idea of what was going on.  I was willing to release and let go of everything from the past (including thoughts and beliefs) which no longer served me.  All I knew was that I needed to have faith and trust and surrender to the process, which I did. I look forward to new blessings in my life.

That was confirmed when I read one of the online articles. It said , “When you go with the flow, trust in the process of life, allow and surrender your ascension path to unfold and change you in every way according to Divine will, you will experience incredible soul growth and immense blessings on your ascension path and in your life. The fully ascended state is one of vibrant health, radiant joy, divine love, blissful serenity, peace, abundance, awareness, and oneness.

I hope this has helped you understand what you may be experiencing in your life. If you would like more information on the symptoms of the ascension and awakening process, google ascension and awakening process.

I say YES to it all.


Giving myself what I need

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With all the tragedies, fires, hurricanes, shootings that we are witnessing, both personally and collectively in the world, there is a general heightened sensitivity demanding more self- care and self- love than ever before.  My friend, Kati, said, “Consciousness has taken a huge leap and unconsciousness is even more unconscious creating an even greater gap. It requires a very astute presence and self-care now for us on the spiritual path.”

It could be easy to go into fear and panic and think the world is going to hell in a handbag.  It is. But the good news is that this time in history is a powerful time of  AWAKENING for the world to become conscious and for us to remember who we are. We are LOVE and we are all connected.  Spirit is alive and well and doing its job. People are being “shaken up to waken up.”

We are the light that people seek out in traumatic times like we are experiencing. People see our light, love and peace and want it for themselves. When we are aligned with Spirit and living in gratitude, our vibration is high. It is not a time for FEAR, but empowerment and remembering who we are. We need to be able to share the tools and guide others within to their SOURCE, rather than to the outside world for answers. We have the answers within and this is a huge paradigm shift.

We must be willing to do our “inner work” and go deeper than ever before. It is a time for brutal self honesty in our relationships, especially with family and our adult children. Many of my friends are suffering with health challenges, relationship problems, grief, confusion and more.

The last two weeks have been very difficult for me as I had an unexpected emotional experience that knocked me off my feet and shook my faith.  I thought it would never end. One day, it felt like I was back in the land of the living, and the next day or hours later, I was crying and feeling pain in my heart. I stayed with it and didn’t PUSH myself to go faster. I trusted that when the feelings were done moving through me, I would know it. Pushing was a way of life for me at one time, but I cannot do that to my body anymore. I am listening to my body and what it needs.

I don’t know what’s going on and I am living in the mystery and trusting and surrendering to Spirit.  As I keep surrendering and trusting the process, I am letting go of the need to understand what’s going on and what lies ahead.  The past is gone and the future is not here. All I have is this present moment, where there is love and peace.

When I started to write this blog, I thought, “I would not have chosen these weeks of emotional pain and exhaustion.” But then I realized I did choose it because my soul is wise and knows what it needs to grow.

Larry and my friends were concerned because they had never seen me down for so long. My friends called, texted, emailed and asked me if there was anything they could do for me.  They were there for me 100%. I needed to go through this alone, which is new territory for me.

It became very clear to me that I needed to be there for me and give myself 100% self- love and self- care, which I did. I needed to listen to my body and what it needed. I knew thatwhat I was experiencing was deep and powerful and different from anything else I had ever experienced.

I have been practicing trusting, loving myself, saying no, setting boundaries, speaking up for decades.  Through this experience and I can’t explain how, but it feels like something has moved from my head  to my heart and I am more aligned with the truth of who I am. 

Here are some of the gifts that I have received.

  1. I know and trust what I need to do for myself on a deep level.
  2. I am listening to my body and giving it what it needs.
  3. I am not afraid to take care of myself, despite the possibility of hurting someone I love.
  4. I am listening to Spirit for guidance in every decision I make.
  5. I will not do anything that doesn’t feel right and is not aligned with my spirit.
  6. So much of what used to matter, doesn’t matter anymore, like what someone does or doesn’t do.

.What I really appreciated from my friends and especially, Larry, is that I never felt judged or pushed to move through my stuff more quickly. It was always rest and take it easy. I know it was not easy for them to watch me exhausted and physically sick.

They trusted me although they didn’t understand what was going on (and neither did I). I am sure they were tempted to give me advice or what worked for them. I am wondering if the energy of TRUSTING MYSELF was so strong, that they didn’t need to step in and try to rescue or fix me.

My invitation to you, my friends, is to allow yourself to feel your feelings, rather than denying them, avoiding them and thinking they will go away. The world needs YOU more than ever. Are you willing to be honest with yourself and feel your pain so you can move through it and be more aligned with yourself and Spirit than ever before?

We are the LOVE that the world needs,

Uncovering and releasing unconscious beliefs

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This has been a week of “uncovering” and releasing unconscious beliefs that no longer serve me and   have robbed me of my peace my entire life. I cried a lot as it was painful to feel feelings that I didn’t know were there because I thought I had dealt with them.  It felt like the original wounds of “neglect and abuse” were triggered and brought to the surface to be released and healed.

I gave myself lots of “quiet” time, prayer and meditation to “go within.” I know that when I call on God for help, I am connected to the sacred part of myself. It is my belief that whatever happens in my life has been planned in the mind of God and is the perfect opportunity to give myself self- love, rather than looking outside for external validation. When I look outside for validation, it feels like an insatiable appetite that cannot ever be filled. I must give love to myself as it’s my own love and God’s love that I really desire. Nothing else will satisfy and be enough.

My ego thought system was jabbing me left and right as I got caught up in comparing myself, judging and not feeling like there was enough.  Are you as surprised as I am when your ego “shows up” unexpectedly and uninvited?  You are going along and enjoying your life, feeling loved and grateful and then BANG, you are not feeling so good and you don’t know why. I know I shouldn’t be surprised when ego shows up, but I usually am. It takes me a little time to realize what’s going on because the attack feels so REAL even though I know the truth that the ego is not real and only an illusion. Once I identify the ego thoughts, it loses its power. Are you able to recognize the tactics of your ego and the vulnerable areas of your life?

Spirit showed me that I had a choice; to stay in the “muck” of my negative ego thinking and the stories of not feeling loved, feeling judged by another’s insensitive remark or focusing on what was missing or I could RISE ABOVE it into the energy of LIGHT and LOVE that is all around me.

Message from the Holy Spirit:

“You are still looking outside of yourself for validation and to know that you are loved and lovable. This is a deep-seated pattern that is being broken now. Don’t let yourself get caught up in things that don’t matter or are unimportant. What difference does any of it make?  Rise up and only see the LOVE and BEAUTY around you, not the “perceived” problems, like what someone did or didn’t do or said or didn’t say or what’s missing. Don’t let yourself be robbed of your peace. All you need to do is BE LOVE, RECEIVE LOVE, LIVE LOVE and SEND LOVE.”

In prayer, Spirit showed me what to do when I am disturbed, disappointed, angry or hurt with someone. It is a process, and depending on the situation, it will take some time. It is not to be rushed or pushed.


Don’t deny or judge yourself for the feelings you are experiencing. They are your feelings and they are not right or wrong. TO FEEL IS TO HEAL. Write your feelings in a journal. You can share them if you want with someone you love and trust and that won’t judge you. You may need to talk to the person who offended you and clarify what happened or you may be able to just let it go because you realize it’s not important and you don’t want to waste your energy. I have found it is important to feel my feelings for as long as it takes (and not what someone else thinks) to move through them and process them.


The muck is the negative energy: worrying, judgmental, comparing, jealousy, resentments, fears and petty problems that you are experiencing.  Stop the stories in your head and the obsessing about what happened or what didn’t happen or what you want to happen. Accept what is. It’s not worth losing your peace about what someone did or didn’t do because it doesn’t serve you. How people treat you or love you has nothing to do with you or your worthiness. It’s important to not take things personally and to know it’s not about you. We have no idea what that person is suffering inside. It’s good to remember that if we had their life, we would be doing the same thing.


Saying the serenity prayer is always helpful in letting go. Write a letter and bury it or rip it up. I know I have let go of something  when I don’t want to withdraw from the person that hurt me and I don’t feel any emotion or charge when I think about it.


If you are still struggling with the situation when you think about it, just repeatedly SEND LOVE. I had to SEND LOVE over and over again to the person who hurt me until it no longer bothered me. Of course, stay in an attitude of GRATITUDE for the opportunities for your soul to grow.

It helps me to remember that everything happens for a reason and is for my highest good.




RUN as fast as you can

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I had an amazing birthday week of RECEIVING love from family and friends; breakfast, lunch and dinners out. I received calls from friends, (as far as Bermuda) and received many cards and gifts. I opened my heart to receive love and indeed, I did. Larry and I went to dinner at Humuhumu restaurant and I felt like his queen when he put the beautiful flower lei over my head before we left. It was quite an experience that I will cherish and never forget.

If I couldn’t be on the ocean in a cruise ship for my birthday, I wanted to FLY over the ocean. Four years ago on my birthday, I went paragliding and wanted to do it again for my birthday this year. Paragliding 6,500 feet over the ocean was breathtaking and I felt free and like a bird flying in the sky. I was called a “student pilot” and the pilot sat behind me maneuvering the glider. After the pilot, Paul, strapped me all in, he gave me instructions on what to do. He said, “It is very important to RUN as fast as you can, don’t sit down or hold the bars until I tell you and we are up in the air.”  When we are ready to take off and the wind is just right, I’ll give you the ok.

I am grateful that two of the other instructors assisted and ran along the side of me to help me get off the ground when Paul gave us the ok. The only problem was that my feet wouldn’t touch the ground and I couldn’t RUN. I started to scream, “My feet don’t touch the ground.”  I was suspended in the air for a few seconds and had to sit. Before I knew it, we were flying over the side of the volcano and into the clouds over the ocean.

As I reflected on this experience afterwards, it felt like there were 2 angels on the side of me helping me get off the ground so I could fly.  Angels (although sometimes invisible) are always there to lift us up when we don’t think we can do it or when we are unable to do it like I was because my feet couldn’t touch the ground.

I not only wanted the paragliding to be a “fun” and empowering experience, but I also wanted it to be a spiritual one and to go higher and higher with God. While in prayer, I wrote out a list of things that I wanted to let go of that no longer served me and I wrote a list of what I wanted to receive. When I was ready to let it go, I put my arm out and released the paper into the air. It really felt liberating.

I also went parasailing a few days later with my friend, Margie, whose birthday was a day before mine. We truly were ONE with one another and ONE with God as we glided through the air into the clouds and sky. It was a magical, magnificent experience and I felt close to God and the angels. It was a perfect day as I experienced the peace and presence of God within.

I was literally “lifted up” above the earth so I could remember who I am and where I came from. I am LOVE and I am not separate from God. God and I are ONE and I am ONE with everyone and everything. This is my truth and knowing that there is only LOVE.

We are all being invited to awaken and “remember” who you are and that there is only love and that everything we need is within.  We no longer have to look outside of ourselves for external validation because we have enough self-love to give it to ourselves. At this time in our world, I believe we are being “shaken up to waken up.”

You don’t have to paraglide or parasail to fly higher with God. Let the angels help you. In order to fly higher, you must be willing to let go of what no longer serves you;  drama, complaining, worrying, fears, comparing, not enoughness, judgments, disappointments, ego, jealousy, expectations, unforgiveness and resentments.

God is all there is and it’s about letting go, surrendering and trusting God is in control and has a perfect plan for our lives, and when we ask for His help, He will lift us up above the battleground of this world to experience his loving peace and presence.


My sweet wife, Pat, loves to go on cruises and checks them out with hopes of going on another one.  She shared in a past blog that the travel agent, Dina, had called with a special deal that we said yes to. When we called back to book it, it was no longer the price we were quoted so we decided to wait for another special deal.

Last Friday, I received an excited phone call from Pat informing me that she had just heard from, Dina, the cruise consultant with the same great price cruise as the one from a few weeks ago. Pat was ready to book it and explained that the cruise was leaving on Saturday, October 7th and we would have to book immediately.

This left us with just a few days to adjust our schedules.  I would have had to adjust my commitments for those dates. I didn’t feel good about it and felt pushed and rushed. The thought of making these changes at this late date didn’t sit well with me as I don’t like making these decisions so quickly.

I reminded Pat that these specials come up all the time and perhaps we could wait for another one  when we would have a little more time to plan. I really didn’t want to disappoint Pat and it was difficult for me to explain my feelings. I wasn’t feeling positive or peaceful about it at all.

Pat was quiet and listened and then said, “I understand your perspective and don’t want to pressure or push you. I will call Dina and tell her we cannot go at this time.” A few minutes later Pat texted  me and said, “I am fine with not going and please don’t feel guilty.”  WOW.  I was very surprised and relieved! What an adult way to accept disappointment.  Pat was gracious about not going and didn’t push the issue.

The next morning when we processed what happened, Pat thanked me for speaking up and following my intuition. She realized that she also had commitments for the weekend that she would have had to cancel.

In past relationships, I would have suffered the consequences and felt guilty that I had let someone down that I loved and cared about. I think I would have been judged that I was being selfish and caring only about my feelings.

One of the wonderful pluses in my relationship with Pat is that we allow and encourage each other to honestly share our feelings, which enables us the freedom and space to make difficult decisions without repercussions. We trust each other that the decision made is for the good of the relationship. I feel very blessed.

The door was closed in our face

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I felt excited when I opened my email early in the morning that read, “Please call me asap.” It was from Dina, the travel agent from the Norwegian Cruise Line. I had spoken to her a few times over the past few months and she knew that we wanted to take another Hawaiian island cruise for our honeymoon. When we went on the cruise for my birthday last year, they gave a considerable discount to Hawaii residents. What we loved about the Hawaiian cruise is that we didn’t have to travel far to get on the ship.

Up until now, they hadn’t offered this discount. It was on that cruise that Larry decided (with the prompting from Spirit) to surprise me and ask me to marry him.

Just the day before receiving this email, I was talking with my friends, Kati and Sally, about the importance of living life to the fullest and not wasting precious time. I said, “I really want to go on another cruise.” There is just something about being on the ocean that feeds my soul. I hadn’t heard from Dina in quite some time.

I called Dina immediately when I read her email. She said, “Pat, are you interested in a 7 day Hawaiian cruise for $599 on October 7-14th? There are only 8 rooms left so you will have to act fast if you want it.” I could hardly get the words out of my mouth, I was so excited and said, “That sounds amazing, can you hold it until I talk to my husband?” She said, “Yes, but don’t take too long, this will go fast.”

I wanted to jump on it and after going within and discussing it with Larry, we were both on board with it. How perfect because we would celebrate my birthday and our honeymoon. I called Dina back within 15 minutes and much to my dismay, she said “The price has already gone up to $899 per person.” She tried everything to get the price back again, but couldn’t, even though she had put a hold on it.

When Larry and I discussed the new price, we decided to wait for another great deal.  Of course, I felt disappointed because I thought this was surely an answer to prayer and I was ready for our second cruise.  I immediately remembered the concept of “open and closed doors” that has been a vital part of  my spiritual journey for many years.  It has been my experience that guidance comes through open and closed doors.

It helps me to let go and surrender to “what is” when I trust that the door has been closed for a reason that only Spirit knows why and it is for my highest good. There have been many times that the door was closed because it wasn’t the right timing and opened at the perfect and right time. It was “in the hallway” that I learned to trust and let go.

I thought I had let it go because I didn’t think about it during the day. However, before I went to bed that night, I decided to go online and see if I could find the $599 deal again, but no luck. While I was on the website, I saw some other cruise deals that might work for us. My juices were flowing!

I called Dina in the morning to check out some other cruises that required traveling to San Francisco to get on the ship. She really felt bad about the new price and said, “I went home last night and looked again. Don’t worry Pat, I will keep looking.”  I laughed and said, “Dina, I am a woman of faith and if it is meant to be, it will be.”

Rather than “allowing” and letting things come to me, I could feel myself pushing, obsessing and trying to make things happen. As I am learning to honor the Love that I am, I don’t push, seek or strive, for these are the old ways of doing things.

The new way is about allowing and accepting “what is” and trusting that all is in divine order. It is about being in the flow without attachment to anything; just allowing things to unfold naturally. This is self-care and self-loving.

I have read that when I love myself, I keep my vibration high and from that, my consciousness expands and from my higher consciousness, my life shifts to peace, ease and grace and miracles happen.

I knew I wasn’t “letting go” because I had lost my peace. I asked Spirit, “Why is it so hard to let go?” Here is what was revealed to me:

  • I am not trusting Spirit that the closed door was for my higher good
  • I think I know what’s best for me
  • I want what I want – NOW
  • I’m impatient
  • I think I have to do it myself and control it
  • I have to make things happen, rather than” allowing” it to happen
  • I don’t want to be HERE right now, I want to be somewhere else

When I realized that I hadn’t let go and was obsessing about going on a cruise, I asked Spirit for help.  When I truly let go, I feel peaceful.  In this moment, I am peaceful because I am choosing to let go and trust in the divine plan for my life.

Although waiting is not my favorite thing to do, I surrender and trust that my Higher Power has a better plan and another door will open at the perfect and right time. I will wait patiently to see what it is.

How about you, is it hard to trust when the door is closed and you have to wait?






I judged Larry and felt terrible

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My aerobics teacher, Trixi, looked at me in class and said, “Pat is amazing and so are all of you.”  What a nice reminder, but I thought to myself, “What would she say if she knew what I had just struggled with before coming to class?”

I wrote in my journal prior to class, “Can I or will I ever get to the point where I don’t judge others and  am not affected by their behaviors?” I am divine and human and have feelings and opinions so perhaps it’s unrealistic to think I will never judge another person’s behaviors. I do believe that the more conscious I become and the more I love myself, the less judgmental I will be of others.

It is my problem when another person’s behavior disturbs me, whether it’s what they do or don’t do, or what they say or don’t say. Who am I to judge another when I have no idea what the person is suffering or going through.  When someone is rude to me or acts inappropriately in my perspective, instead of shooting off my mouth and lashing out, I want my default to be to SEND THEM LOVE rather than judging them. I am not there yet, but it is where I am striving to be!

When I judge others or my buttons are pushed, I may be projecting my feelings onto them, rather than looking at myself and what’s going on inside of me. I may be accusing another of the very things I have disowned or rejected in myself.  I have learned that when I “spot” something I don’t like in another person, I “got” it and it may very well be a call for SELF-LOVE.

Author Gay Hendricks, writes, “When I don’t or can’t acknowledge my feelings or accept something about myself, it is a sign that deep down, I don’t love myself. You will always find something to complain about, and the people in your life will always seem to be less than perfect, because you think you are less than perfect. Unless you can learn to love yourself, and accept yourself and your feelings, you will never be able to be fully loved by anyone else. 

Hendricks also writes, “Intimate relationships are like temperature gauges for self-love. When you are by yourself, you don’t encounter the typical triggers that would indicate a lack of self-love. But a relationship will stir up our deepest needs and fears. When you possess a full reservoir, you do not require your partner to “fill you up.” If your partner is having a bad day or you have a disagreement, you are able to give yourself the love your partner is unwilling or unable to share at that time.”

I could relate to what Hendricks wrote about relationships are like temperature gauges for self-love. Here is what happened this week:

I judged Larry when he woke up in the morning complaining of stomach cramps. I didn’t say it, but wanted to say, “It’s your own fault, look what you are putting into your body every day. You are eating too many sweets, that is why you have cramps and feel terrible.”

When I realized I was judging Larry, I really felt bad. I prayed and asked Spirit to show me the truth. I didn’t want to admit and acknowledge that I had recently been eating more sweets and instead of looking at what I was doing, I had projected my feelings onto him. Even though it doesn’t feel very good to admit this, I am grateful that Spirit brought this to the light so I can do something about it.

I may not like Larry’s diet, but the truth is what Larry does or doesn’t do, what he eats or doesn’t eat is none of my business. I cannot change anyone but myself.  I am being given an opportunity to love and accept myself. Here is the message from Holy Spirit:

“Don’t beat up on yourself. Learn from it. Love yourself and love your body.  Eat good food as a way of self-care. I will help you when you ask for my help.”

I did ask for help and am pleased to say that the last several days, I have had little cravings for sweets. I had been so busy concentrating on my daily exercise and water intake, that I wasn’t paying attention to what I was eating.

I received this message from a friend today from Science of Mind magazine. “There is an internal help system that I can choose to rely on. When I call out for help, it is my innermost guidance system. In that moment of sweet surrender, HELP stands for Hello Eternal Loving Presence.  

How about you? Is judging another’s behavior a problem for you?  Is judging yourself an indication that more self-love is needed?

As women, we OVER-GIVE

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I thought my receiving “muscle” was strong so I was surprised when Larry asked me, “What do you want for your birthday?” I said, “I don’t know. I have everything I could possibly want and don’t need anything.”

He said, “How about I take you to dinner at Humuhumunukunukuapua’a at the Grand Waleia Hotel? It has just been named the best restaurant on Maui.” I had never been there before and I knew it was a very expensive restaurant. I didn’t respond right away and decided to pray about it because I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t want Larry spending that kind of money on dinner. When I prayed about it the next day, I said, “Spirit, I need guidance because spending that kind of money seems frivolous to me.”

“What is your message Holy Spirit?”

You have difficulty receiving something like this because you are accustomed to bargain shopping and feeling like you got a deal. I want you to open yourself up to receive because there is more to come. This is in preparation to receive more.  It is ok to say yes if this is what Larry wants to do for you and what you want to do for your birthday. He wants you to know how special you are and how much he loves you. 

“But Spirit, I would rather go out to dinner three times than spend it in one place.”

“That’s because you don’t believe there will be enough so you have to save it for a rainy day. That is an old belief that doesn’t serve you anymore. There is more than enough.  Allow him to give you this gift and be open to receive.” 

“I feel guilty God because I could give that money to someone who really needs it. What is that about?”

“It is an old belief that you don’t deserve to be treated in this special way. This no longer serves you and, in fact, blocks what I am doing in your life.  It is good for you to celebrate your birthday in a fine dining restaurant. There is more to come and you must be open to receive. Remember this is my money.” 

I understand there is no right or wrong way of doing what I want to do. If I want to go to 3 different restaurants and be thrifty instead of spending it all in one place, that is ok too. I am grateful Spirit brought to light the old beliefs about money (lack, not enough, not deserving) that no longer serve me. I am now open to RECEIVE only good and the riches of the kingdom, which is my birthright. I haven’t made up my mind yet what I want to do, but I know whatever it is, it will be a great birthday. The most important thing is to know that I am loved and cherished by my husband. 

In the book “One with God” the author, Margie Tyler writes, “Every day is an opportunity to RECEIVE something new. You are experiencing this expansion and are now willing to acknowledge that love exists in you and as you. OPENING ONESELF TO RECEIVE LOVE IS THE BIGGEST TASK IN LIFE. Once you’re open, the world expands exponentially and the love becomes all-inclusive. Everyone and everything is joined in that love.”

Do we deprive others of the joy of giving to us when we are unable to receive? When we are unable to receive, we block others from giving us love.

I believe that the more I love and appreciate myself, the more I can RECEIVE love from another. We are not CAPABLE of receiving love from another if we haven’t learned to love ourselves. Sure, I have experienced love from another when I didn’t love myself, but it was never enough. It wasn’t until I gave myself self-love that I was capable of RECEIVING the deep love I craved from another.  It all begins and ends with me as I awaken and come home to myself in my body, mind and spirit.

As women, we know how to give. We know how to over-give. But we have no idea how to RECEIVE. We have a serious crimp in our receiving hose.  In the past, when my ego was running the show, I unconsciously blocked love from coming in because of not feeling deserving or worthy. I believe that the more I open myself to RECEIVE love, the more I can give LOVE.

MY HEART OPENS TO ALLOW MY DEEPEST GOOD – Julia Cameron, author of Artists Way

“Acceptance, openness, allowing are the keys to manifestation. I do not need to will my good. I need to accept my good. I do not need to will my being loved. I need only accept my being loved. I open my heart to accept and allow the good which I desire. I am in God and God is in me. As I yearn for God, I yearn for my own true nature. As I ask God to fulfill me, I ask that I fulfill myself. There is no distance, no need to please or cajole, whimper or manipulate. It is the pleasure of the entire Universe to expand as it desires. My desires are the desires of the Universe. They are fulfilled by the Universe acting through me, toward me.”



I heard the crash and came running in

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What I appreciate about my relationship with Larry is how we both take responsibility for our behavior and actions. We have a lot in common and are both pretty easy going and have learned to go with the flow. We respect and support each other’s needs and what is important to each of us.

Larry and I love being retired. He does what he wants to do during the day and I do what I want to do and we come together at night to relax and share about the day.  We take day trips and go out to breakfast and lunch often. We dance, pray, play and are writing our book together.  He likes to stay home more than I do and I like to play with the girls. I like my quiet time and have my “Pat” days when I want to. In other words, we give each other FREEDOM to do what is important to each of us. It works for us as we are creating a “conscious” love relationship and are enjoying the “fruits of our labor” with Spirit. We are remembering that we are all ONE and connected and there is only LOVE.

But we do have a major difference that we are working on as we want to be respectful of one another. We know that neither one of us is right or wrong, just different perspectives. I like “stuff” which he thinks is “clutter.” I have candles and flowers and pretty things around. He has been great with giving me the freedom to decorate the way I want to because it didn’t seem to matter to him. Larry is more of a “minimalist” and prefers not to have things around, especially in the kitchen. Perhaps because he was in the catering business for so many years, he likes things the way he likes them and I try to be sensitive to that.

When I moved into our current home 3 ½ years ago, it was fully furnished and I had my own stuff that I had accumulated. When Larry moved in 2 ½ years ago, he brought his stuff. There is little storage room in our home and things got stuffed into the kitchen cabinets. I managed to organize it so everything was in its place, or so I thought it was organized and in its place!

It all came to a head when I heard the “crash” of glass in the kitchen. I came running in from outside to see what happened. There was glass all over the floor and counters. Larry was very upset and yelled, “I am so f………frustrated with this clutter.” I had never seen him so angry and it scared me. He is usually very calm.

Instead of staying there and helping him clean up the glass which I would have done in the past to make everything ok, I immediately went back outside to calm myself down. I am grateful that I had the presence of mind to keep my mouth shut and not argue. I sat outside praying and feeling my feelings.

When I came in from outside an hour later, I went into the room to discuss what happened. Larry said, “I have a letter to write on my computer and left the room.” I assumed he wasn’t ready to talk about what happened. I went to the other bedroom and read and prayed.

What upset me, other than the fact that he was so angry, is that I didn’t have any idea that he felt so frustrated and strongly about the “clutter” as he called it.  I wasn’t willing to take responsibility for something I didn’t know about. He had a responsibility to “lovingly” share with me things that were bothering him. An hour later, he came into the room and kind of apologized, but minimized what happened and said, “I don’t want to make a big deal out of this.”

It was a big deal because I had never seen him like that and he scared the S…. out of me. I also wondered if there were other things that bothered him that he wasn’t talking about.

The next morning when we talked about it, Larry said, “I didn’t realize how much the kitchen cabinets bothered me until the glass shattered all over the place. I don’t want to complain about everything, so I usually just ignore things.” I was quiet and listened to him as he shared his perspective.

He admitted that he was lazy and could have done something about the cabinets if he didn’t like them or he could have talked to me about them before he exploded. I admitted that I was also lazy and instead of taking things out that we weren’t using, I kept finding space for them. He agreed to pay attention to when something is bothering him and to let me know and not ignore it. I agreed to not put anything in the closet unless I take something out.

It is my belief that Spirit uses everything for our highest good. Since the “crash” there is a fire under my butt to clean out other closets that have things stuffed into them.  It really feels lighter.


We had an opportunity to address a situation that we both had different perspectives on.  Pat loves paintings and pictures and there isn’t much room on our walls for any more pictures or paintings.  She also loves likes rocks, crystals, statues, and flowers.  She receives great satisfaction and peace from having all these things around.  She loves to go out Saturday mornings to garage sales to find treasures.  I am fine with that and encourage her to go and have fun.

This week, I realized I wasn’t fine with it after the bowl crashed on the counter.  We have little storage space and trying to fit two households into the cabinets is pretty difficult to do.  Our kitchen cabinets are packed jam full of plates, bowl, cups, and glasses.

I had just gotten up from a late nap and was still kind of groggy. When I opened a kitchen cabinet door and reached for a bowl, a dish fell out and crashed into a million pieces on the counter. I was shocked and frightened.  My comfort level went from a calm level of zero to an alarmed level of 1000.  I yelled “I can’t stand all this  #!# *! clutter anymore.” I was angry and didn’t like being startled like that. I proceeded to clean up the mess and started to calm down.  I knew I needed to be alone for awhile. Pat had never seen me this angry so it was upsetting and scary for her.

As I took time to think about what happened, I realized that I wasn’t upset with Pat, but I was upset with myself.  I take care of placing all the cups, glasses, plates back into the cabinets because the cabinets are high and it’s easier for me to reach than it is for Pat. I have been living under these circumstances for more than 2 1/2 years and wondered why I didn’t do something about it up until now?  The truth is it wasn’t important enough and I was just too lazy to do or say anything about it.

Pat encouraged me to speak up when things bother me, rather than let them build up and then explode. I really didn’t know it was bothering me until the crash. I work at being flexible and not complaining. I agreed to do that rather than seeing it as complaining.

The next morning we discussed what happened and what we could do to resolve it. I had the idea to buy some big plastic bins and put the things we are not using into them. We spent the morning going through the cabinets and cleaning them out.  Sometimes I’m not the “brightest bulb in the package” because I never even thought of doing this until now. The lesson learned is to pay attention if something is bothering me, rather than ignore it and do something before I blow my cool. I’ll do better the next time. Pat agreed to not put anything new in the kitchen cabinet unless she takes something out.

In the past, I would have really beaten up on myself. I didn’t do that and was able to take responsibility for my actions and move on.

I was so excited about giving

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About 4 months ago, my friend, Karen, was inspired to start “Miracle Monday” called the 111 Project on Facebook (, I called Karen immediately and told her that I wanted to be a part of it because I knew it was inspired by Spirit. It spoke to my heart, and I decided to pray about it to see how Spirit wanted me to be involved.

Here is a brief description of the 111Project

“Have you been concerned and uncertain about what’s happening? When everything seems so chaotic, how many times have you asked, what can I do? Maybe the inspiration of this 111 Project will guide you to the answer. This 111 Project supports you in the opportunity to heal yourself, heal others, and create the change you are seeking. So, are you ready to take a big leap into greater love and share in miracles with others? This is an invitation to the 111 Project and to join many others in the intention to heal all, including you, from the suffering of separateness and to wake up together and remember that we are all one and the return to love is essential for our happiness and world peace.

Every time I read about what others were doing on Facebook with the 111 Project, I cringed because I wasn’t doing anything, even though I said I wanted to be a part of it. In all honesty, I had some fear about making a financial commitment every week for a year. Once I made the commitment to contribute a few weeks ago, I trusted Spirit would guide me as to where to send my contribution each week.

I trust in divine timing and after praying about it, I made the commitment to contribute $33 a week to a worthy cause for one year. This is my fourth week and I look forward to “Miracle Monday” and being guided where to contribute my money. It is a great experience to feel like I am doing something to heal the separation and heal myself from fear.  The first 3 weeks were easy. I sent it to You Caring (group empowering single woman who were homeless), No Child Hungry and Maui Food Bank.                 .

I would like to share what happened this week:

Spirit put it on my heart to go to the ladies room at McDonald’s, (where many of the homeless in our community spend time) and leave my contribution.  On the morning of “Miracle Monday”, I went to the bank to get 33 one dollar bills. I had a card all ready to put the money in when I realized I forgot the card at home.  I heard Spirit say, “The person that I want to receive this is not there today, so bring it back tomorrow.” I began to pray for the person who would receive my contribution and that they would be open to receiving God’s love.

The message that I wrote in the card said, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and rely not on your own understanding.” I also wrote, “God has your back and don’t give up.” On the outside of the envelope I wrote “PLEASE TAKE – FOR SOMEONE WHO NEEDS IT.”

When I arrived at the McDonald’s the next day, I bought an iced coffee and sat down at a table. I then went to the ladies room and taped the envelope to the mirror and left the bathroom. I just kept praying for the person who God wanted to bless. Over the course of 15 minutes, I watched 4 women go into the bathroom and had no idea who or if anyone would take the envelope. I looked at their faces as they left the bathroom, but saw no indication that they were the one who needed it.

When I finished my drink, I went back into the ladies room and the envelope was gone. I felt excited and said, “YEA” as my Spirit soared. I trusted that the woman who received the contribution knew she was not alone and loved by God.

I was detached from the outcome and didn’t have to know who the woman was who received it. All I knew was that I was guided to Mc Donald’s at the perfect and right time. When we give, we have no idea how our actions will benefit another human being.

I remember thirty-five years ago when I received a card in the mail with a $10 bill in it. I stepped out in faith and bought a blouse that was $10 when I heard the small, still voice of God say, “Buy it and I will provide.” Immediately after hearing the voice, I returned home and found the card and a $10 bill in my mailbox. To this day, I have no idea where the money came from. I still tell the story whenever I can and get the same reaction every time. God is good!

Please consider checking out the 111 Project on Facebook and join in healing the separation and knowing we are all ONE. Thank you Karen for saying yes to Spirit and birthing the 111 Project into the Universe.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
PO Box 28844
Providence, RI 02908