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Saying NO to others is saying YES to yourself

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I’ve had the opportunity to say NO several times over this past week and it felt good not doing something because I felt guilty and thought I SHOULD do it.

Do you have a hard time saying NO to others when they ask you to do something or they want you to go someplace with them? It’s easier to say no when you have a legitimate excuse in your own mind or you have something already planned.

But what about when you just don’t want to do it?  Are you able to say no just because you don’t feel like it? Do you think it’s selfish to say no to another’s request? Do you feel guilty and beat up on yourself when you say no? Have you ever felt resentful when you did something you didn’t want to do and did it because you thought you SHOULD do it?

Are you unable to say no to another’s request because you want to take care of them and rescue and fix them?  When we focus on others, at the expense of ourselves, we are in trouble and not in alignment with God’s will.  It is like we are saying, “Your needs are more important than mine.”  It is not only dishonoring, but it is disrespectful to the other person when we think we have the answers for them and want to rescue or fix them.

I have to admit that there was a time in my life that I couldn’t say NO to others because I wanted others to love me and I was afraid of the consequences of saying no. I often anticipated others needs and offered to help before they even asked. I never thought about if it would be good for me. I lived from the SHOULDS and it was exhausting.

I pushed myself to do things that I didn’t want to do because I thought that was the loving thing to do. What I didn’t understand was that I had it backwards. I wasn’t loving myself and my needs first. I was not taught how to go within and ask Spirit for guidance nor was I taught how to love myself first.

Of course, I want to be helpful and loving and be there for others when I can and choose to.  WHEN I SAY NO TO OTHERS, I AM SAYING YES TO MYSELF. Believe me, coming to this place of knowing and truth has been a process because I understand how important self-love and self-care is to my overall well-being.  I am responsible to take care of myself; body, mind and spirit.

Today, when I need to make a decision whether to say yes or no to another person, I go within, trust my intuition and ask Spirit for guidance. I ask questions like:

Do I really want to do this {whatever the request is}?

Is this in my highest good (and that of the other person) to say yes to this request?

Am I feeling responsible for the other person and their needs?

Remember, it is not selfish to say no, but self-loving to say no when you want to. If I am not sure I want to do something, I give myself time to go within and ask for guidance. I do nothing out of the SHOULDS anymore. It takes practice to say no in a way that doesn’t offend someone. I also know I have the right to change my mind, even at the last minute. No is a complete sentence and I don’t need to explain myself if I don’t want to.  Here are a few suggestions on how to say no:

  • Thank you for asking, but that isn’t going to work for me.
  • I want to do that, but I’m not available until next week. Will you ask me again then?
  • I can’t do it, but I know someone who may be able to help you.
  • None of those dates work for me, but I would love to see you. Send me some more dates.
  • I can’t put anything else on my calendar this month, but I’d love to do that sometime.
  • Thanks, I’ll have to pass on that. Say it, then shut up.
  • I really appreciate you asking me, but my time is already committed.
  • I wish I could, but it’s just not going to work right now.
  • I promised my husband I wouldn’t take on any more projects right now.
  • I appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m afraid I’m already booked that day.
  • Let me tell you what I can do, then limit the commitment to what is comfortable for you.





This is a time of awakening

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Larry and I started a discussion group with spiritually minded friends focusing on the book called, “Love Is All There Is” by the Source. It is a powerful book that reveals much truth about love.  Our intention is to share different points of view to help one another on the spiritual path to grow in consciousness.

One of the chapters discusses what he calls common thought and the ego. He states, “Common thought is another name for ego, which in truth, doesn’t exist, but uses the common mind to create illusions of fear, used in the place of love. It is ego that impedes human’s understanding of his or her part in love. Ego is non-love in the extreme, the ultimate illusion. Hell is the world of ego. It is a world of competition and comparison, a world in which your imagined inadequacies are always in danger of exposure, a world in which failure is either present or just around the corner.  The only escape from hell is the surrender to love. Then you will see that the hell from which you escaped never really existed. Only the heaven of Love exists, for Love is all there is.”

I would like to share my experience of ego and how it has robbed me of my peace for as long as I can remember, probably forever. The only problem was that I didn’t recognize it as my ego. It felt REAL and I believed it.  It was this nagging inner voice that constantly whispered in my ear, “You are not good enough, not deserving or worthy, even though I was successful in my career, written a book, had a Master’s degree and on and on.  The belief was that whatever I did was never enough and I was never enough. Can you relate?

What I know today is that my ego voice is not real and is an illusion. All there is is love and I am not separate from God. We are ONE. Nothing else matters and it is just part of the play and only a dream. I recently participated in a meditation and my ego showed up as a “boogie man” dressed in black. As I prayed and meditated here is what came to me. The boogie man comes out at night and in dreams to scare me. When I “wake up” I realize it isn’t real, but an illusion. Whenever I feel jealous, judge another, feel less than, compare myself, I recognize this as my ego that is not real and not LOVE.

This is a time of “Awakening” and we are all waking up from the dream of separation in our own way. Some of us are kicking and screaming and blaming others for our problems. We are invited to take responsibility for ourselves and to see the truth of who we are. We are love, we were created in love and love is all there is.

Today, I recognize when my ego shows up to torment and scare me. I acknowledge it for what it is and say, you are not real, I CHOOSE LOVE.  The ego knows exactly where I am sensitive and will attack in the area that I am most vulnerable to constantly rob me of my peace and serenity.

There are so many ways ego shows up and we have to be vigilant and call ego by its name. It loses its power when we identify it as our ego by bringing it into the light and choosing love. Are you in the habit of constantly judging yourself after a conversation or gathering with friends? Do you say things like, “I talked too much or not enough? I should not have shared that or I was to negative? Do you recognize that it is your ego or do you believe it is true about yourself and then beat up on yourself?

My prayer for you is that you will know the truth of who you are and live in love. It is your birthright and you are adored by the Universe who created you and loves you.

“You can walk through your life of earth with love, in total unity, and know joy and peace. All it takes is for you to set your vision on truth instead of illusion, on love instead of ego, on the real instead of the unreal. Then you will see the world for what it really is – a place filled with divine possibilities and the opportunity for Love. Then you will embrace all as divine creation and, thus, you will treasure it all. The whole world sparkles with light when viewed through the eyes of love.  Why would you ever choose hell when heaven is here and now? Why choose fear when peace is available? Why choose lack when abundance is present? Why choose suffering when the surrender to love brings such joy?” Love Is Al There Is.”





Vulnerability is a strenth

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I recently watched an interview with Oprah where Dr. Brene Brown asked her this question. “Where are you the most vulnerable in your life?” She was honest and said, “It’s my weight.” I can understand her feeling vulnerable because she cannot hide her years of struggle with gaining and losing weight.

This made me think about where I am the most vulnerable in my life.  How honest was I willing to be with you about my vulnerabilities and struggles, especially what is hidden and can’t be seen?  Did I even want to be vulnerable? Would it help me to be honest for my own healing and let it all hang out?  Would it help you to know you are not alone? Was Spirit calling me to be vulnerable with you?

Dr. Brene Brown writes, “Being vulnerable means letting your guard down, and it means risk. By completely exposing yourself and expressing your thoughts and feelings, you risk being hurt, you risk being rejected, and being seen. Vulnerability is about “showing up and being seen.” When we’re fueled by the fear of what other people think or that gremlin that’s constantly whispering “You’re not good enough” in your ear, it’s tough to show up. People who feel shame are more likely to avoid vulnerability out of the fear of not being understood, or disliked, and therefore distance themselves from other people.  If you are constantly hiding these aspects of yourself, you may never truly connect with another person.”

I am “showing up” to share my struggle and compulsive habit of comparing myself to others, especially when others appear to be getting more attention than I am.  When I compare myself to others, I either feel “better than” or” less than.” Even though I know it is my ego-wounded self who has the false belief that my worth is about my looks and performance that is acting out and wanting attention and it’s not real, the struggle to compare and compete continued, no matter what I did.

“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” Iyanla Vanzant

To be honest, I hated this part of myself that compared myself to others when I thought I wasn’t getting enough attention. It felt terrible inside and I didn’t feel good about myself.  I have been struggling with this for as long as I can remember – having to be the best and it’s futile and exhausting.  I knew it came from my family of origin, but It didn’t matter where, why or how it came from, what mattered is that I wanted to be healed of this need to compare. I trusted that this was coming into the light to be healed and transformed.

I want to be free and not look outside for validation and approval anymore.  I realized that what I needed the most was my OWN ATTENTION and love. It is my belief that what other people do, say or think of me is none of my business. What matters is that I know who I am as a child of God and I know my intrinsic value.  The truth is: I am love, I am trusting, I am sincere, I am surrendered, I am compassionate, I am faithful, I am courageous, I am kind, I am patient, I am trustworthy, I am generous, I am truthful, I am forgiving. I am compassionate. I am creative, I am open, I am intuitive, I am caring, I am spunky and fun.

I have been on the spiritual path for over 40 years and have experienced deep healing and transformation. I have learned to love and appreciate myself and yet I still struggled with comparing myself to others, whether it be my appearance, what I do in the world, my gifts, how much money I have, etc. There have been times when I didn’t even know I was comparing myself because it is so insidious. I just knew that I didn’t feel good inside or felt good enough. The truth is that when I compare myself, I am not accepting “what is” in my life because I am wanting something different.

“Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems. When I cannot accept every person, place and thing exactly as it is, I will not have peace. “AA big book

Here is the message I received from Holy Spirit:

“Be still and know that I am God. God is all there is. Love is all there is. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. This truth is setting you free to live the life you want to live-free of comparing yourself and judging yourself for your behaviors. It is your own approval you are seeking and craving. You have the power to give it to yourself as much as you want every day.  Everything is in perfect and right order, even if it doesn’t look like that. Remember, you are navigating your life and REMEMBERING WHO YOU ARE. There is no shame in bringing this into the light what has been hidden to be healed and transformed. Keep bringing it to the light and I will show you how ego robs your soul of your peace. You have everything you need inside of you.”

Today and every day, I give myself what I need. I strive to no longer look outside for approval and validation.  I am being transformed NOW by the light of God, which is Love,  as I remember that I am ONE WITH GOD.

Where are you vulnerable and need healing and transformation? “Show up” and be vulnerable and trust the light of God is freeing you to become the person you are meant to be.




How we give our power away

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I love how Spirit speaks to me through my dreams, especially recurring dreams.  Recurring dreams are important messages and if I pay attention, they will guide me and show me what I need to do or not do next in my life.

Whenever I dream about a person I know, I pay attention to their qualities because they can reveal parts of myself that I may or may not be aware of.  For example, whenever I dream about this one particular woman, I know it’s about my controlling behaviors that I need to change if I want to live in peace and be in alignment with God’s will.

This week I dreampt about my first boyfriend, Steve, that I went steady with when I was 16 years old. This is a recurring dream that I have had for many years and Steve is always leaving me for another girl. Since I have worked with the dream for years, I know that Steve represents my animus, which is the masculine part of a women’s personality.  It is the part of me that makes decisions and takes action.

As I worked with the dream, I asked myself some questions:

  • Where am I leaving myself?
  • Why am I leaving myself?
  • How am I leaving myself?

Whenever I leave myself, I give my power away and am not loving myself and taking responsibility for myself or my actions. Spirit revealed to me a couple of situations this week that I gave my power away. I felt so much better after working with the dream and was back in my God-given power.

Here is a list of ways we give our power away:

  • People pleasing behaviors
  • Afraid to set boundaries and speak my truth
  • Afraid to speak up and be honest
  • Seeking answers from others rather than going within
  • Wanting others to take care of you
  • Feeling like you are a victim
  • Beating up on yourself
  • Judging yourself
  • Not feeling good enough
  • Not saying NO when you need to
  • Blaming others and not taking responsibility for your own behaviors
  • Not trusting yourself and your feelings
  • Not being flexible
  • Not accepting “what is”
  • Pushing yourself to do things that you don’t want to do to please another
  • Not taking care of yourself in body, mind and spirit
  • Trying to control others
  • Holding resentments and not forgiving yourself or others
  • Comparing yourself to others and feeling less than or better than

It takes courage to see our self-abandonment, self-betrayal patterns and ways we give our power away. These patterns must come into the light to be transformed so we can love and honor ourselves and others as we remember that we are all one and are worthy of love and appreciation.

There is a “spiritual awakening” happening on the planet. People are waking up and experiencing things they never experienced. It may appear dark, but there is a new world and a bright light emerging inside of you and in the world.

How do you give your power away? It’s time to take back your power and live your authentic self in the light of love.




I asked for help

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I had to remind myself what I shared with my clients when they came into therapy.  I said, “It is a sign of strength when you ask for help.” Why doesn’t it feel like I am strong when I ask for help? In some instances, I have felt weak, embarrassed and even shameful that I didn’t know how to do something or figure something out on my own and was forced to ask for help.

I asked myself some questions:

  • Is it my pride that I think I should know how to do things or figure things out on my own?
  • Am I afraid of feeling vulnerable?
  • Am I afraid of being judged or looking stupid?
  • Do I think I am bothering someone if I ask for help?

If I believe it’s a weakness, of course, I don’t want to ask for help. Who wants to feel weak? If someone asks me for help, I feel honored to share my experience. If for some reason I cannot help them, I am free to tell them that and direct them to someone who can help them.

It is an old belief that no longer serves me when I am unable to ask for help when I need it. Not only am I depriving myself of what I need and I will suffer needlessly, but I am depriving another of helping me and sharing their experience.  Of course, we all want to figure things out on our own because it feels good. But, sometimes we just need to swallow our pride and ask for help.

I had an opportunity to ask for help this week from my daughter, Mary, who is staying with us for several weeks. For years, Mary has been health conscious and has tried to share her wisdom with me, but unfortunately, I wasn’t open until now.  It felt humbling and vulnerable asking for help after being so resistant for so many years. Here is what happened:

I had my follow-up appointment with my primary care doctor this week and wasn’t expecting new information about my health since the plan was to wait a few months before taking another blood test to see if my platelets were back to normal and inflammation gone. A new piece to the puzzle of why I have inflammation was revealed and for this, I am grateful.

Since I was feeling so much better after following the anti-inflammatory diet and not eating sugar for the last 2 months, I was very surprised when the doctor shared the test results that were taken at last visit.

Since I wasn’t expecting the tests results to be a bacterial infection in my gut, I felt like I was knocked off my horse and felt very overwhelmed on how to proceed. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic and probiotics to follow-up with.

Mary and I were eating breakfast when I had my “melt down” and shared with her how overwhelmed I  felt and asked for her help. She was so compassionate and loving and told me exactly what I needed to do to get rid of the bacteria/infection in my gut. She also shared how important it was that when I finished the antibiotic, l have no sugar, including fruit for a week. She not only told me what I needed to do, she said “I will cook for you to make sure you have nothing with sugar in it.”  How much better does it get than this? Instead of feeling overwhelmed as I had been feeling, I felt grateful, relieved and so loved.

Mary is my coach and I will eat whatever she tells me to eat and not to eat because my health is important.  This change of attitude and my willingness to follow the plan truly is God’s grace and a miracle for me. I am humbled and grateful that she is here to guide and support me. I shared in a past blog that Mary and Herbie were volunteering and staying at a bee farm for 2 weeks. This fell through at the last minute, so they are here with us for these 2 weeks.

I truly see God’s hand and perfect timing in this since Mary is present and willing to help me when I needed her the most. I have changed my thinking and know without a doubt that asking for help is a strength, and not a weakness.

How about you? Are you able to ask for help when you need it? We are not meant to suffer alone, we need one another on this journey of life.

Ballistic Missile threat to Hawaii

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By the grace of God, I’ve been able to embrace and cultivate an attitude of GRATITUDE for what “shows up” in my life, especially this week when I fell on my face on our family trip to Hana and the emergency alert we received in Hawaii.

I’m able to practice gratitude because I believe that everything happens for a reason and for my highest good. It is not to punish me or to make me suffer, but for my soul to grow and receive love, for love is all there is. Gratitude is a CHOICE. It’s important that I don’t do a “spiritual bypass” by not allowing myself to feel my feelings. When I am disappointed, angry, sad or overwhelmed when something happens in my life, I need to feel all of my feelings before I can change my perspective and practice gratitude. I need to give myself all the time I need to process what is going on, knowing there is no right or wrong way of doing it.

I am grateful for this gift of gratitude and for the many opportunities to practice it.  When I practice gratitude, accepting “what is” surrender, and trust, I am aligned with the Spirit within and will experience peace beyond understanding.

By now, because of social media, most of you are aware of what happened in Hawaii this weekend.  This is the alert we received of our phones:


It is under investigation as some reports are saying it actually was a drill while others are saying it was a MISTAKE and that the wrong button was pushed. It took 38 minutes after the original text was sent out for us to get notification that it wasn’t true. According to media reports, Hawaiians panicked in the streets, crying and screaming for dear life. I didn’t know this but some were told that there was 15 minutes before the missile attacked.  A woman got under her mattress calling family and saying good-bye while another man gathered his family and went into a sewer.

My friend, Kati, had just picked up Herbie and I to go to breakfast when we received the alert on my phone. We immediately turned around and came back to our home. Larry had not heard the message on his phone and was shocked like the rest of us. My daughter, Mary, had gone to the farmers market (which was 40 minutes away) to volunteer when she received the message on her phone. She called panicked and said, I will be right home.” I called a couple of girlfriends and invited them to come to be with us so they wouldn’t be alone. There was nothing we could do, but be there for one another and trust Love would take care of us.

I’m not sure if I was in denial and didn’t believe this alert or if I blocked my feelings, because I didn’t panic and didn’t think this was the end of my life. I didn’t call my kids to say good-bye.  As I processed my experience and my feelings around what happened, I asked myself, “Can we really ever be prepared for something like this?” We don’t know what’s going to happen next in our lives, do we? We only have the present moment and that is NOW. I can choose love or I can choose fear. One minute we are safe and peaceful and the next moment our lives appear to be in danger.

When I live in an attitude of gratitude and know there is only love and love will take care of me no matter what the circumstances are, there is no room for fear or panic. What good would it have done for me to be in the energy of fear and panic?

My heart is full of gratitude when I woke up this morning with my husband and the sun shining and my family safe and sound.

On a much smaller scale than a ballistic missile threat, I had another opportunity to practice gratitude, rather than to complain and feel like a victim. As I shared in the previous blog, we planned a trip to Hana for 2 days. We had a couple of hours to kill before we checked into our cabin so we went to the state park for a picnic and a walk along the ocean path.  As we were walking, my sandal got caught on a small lava rock and I fell flat on my face and cracked my head. You can imagine how my kids felt when they heard me scream and turned around to see their mother  flat on her face.

They immediately helped me up to see what damage had been done as I hobbled back to the car, with their help. Of course, I was shaking as my knee, elbow and ankle were bleeding and I was in pain. Larry was concerned that I may have a concussion since I hit my head pretty hard.

I could have been really bummed out that I couldn’t enjoy the next day’s excursions with my family, but had to rest and keep my leg up. Instead, I allowed Mary and Tim to take care of me and receive their love. They truly were a gift to me and I so appreciated their love and concern. As we know, it’s not easy to receive when we like to DO. Another gift was spending time with Herbie as we played games and cuddled together.

I am very grateful that I didn’t break any bones and that I didn’t have a concussion or permanent damage to my face or nose. Perhaps my body knew what was important and that I needed to rest and receive love. I don’t know why things happen, but I trust it is for my highest good and everything is in perfect and divine timing.




Divine abundance

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Happy New Year.  I wanted to start the blog with a quote from the DailyWord because it speaks to my heart about my life and how it has unfolded.

“Divine Abundance is unlimited. I am prepared and open to receive it all. I surrender to life’s plan for me, EXPECT the best and receive it with joyful gratitude.”

It has been 6 years this month that I stepped out in faith and moved to Maui. I can hardly believe how my life has unfolded. Although, like most of us, I had created vision boards of what I wanted to create in my life, I could not have imagined it to be this magnificent. God’s plan is always so much greater than I could have ever imagined. I just kept saying “YES” and moving forward, despite all my fears and doubts.

Larry and I feel especially blessed this week because our daughter, Mary, and our grandson, Herbie, are staying with us for 7 weeks.  Mary and Herbie are volunteering at a Bee farm for 2 of the weeks. Every morning, Mary and Herbie do their stretching on our Lanai and then go for a run in the neighborhood. It is awesome to watch Herbie following his mamma and doing the same moves as she does. Mary is home schooling him so for the next few hours, they are doing school work as well as learning about the ocean and different parts of the island.

We are blessed to have our son, Tim, from Boise, Idaho also staying with us for a week. We are taking a trip to Hana and staying in a lovely cabin for 2 nights with an outdoor hot tub. We will be exploring the beaches and trails in Hana, as well as eating delicious meals that Mary loves to cook.

We are having a blast playing in the waves at the beach and going down the slide at the pool. Herbie was a little reluctant at first to go down the slide and didn’t know if he wanted to do it. Mary went first and then he went behind her. He loved it so much that he went down ten more times.

Grandma was next in line and very reluctant to go down because it’s been years since I went down a water slide. I felt embarrassed not to go since my 8 year old grandson was so courageous to go down. I have to say it was quite the ride and I’m glad I did it, but once was enough!

We had a “Meet the kids” party with several of our friends and had so much fun playing and wearing hats and glasses.

I think the greatest gift is seeing the love that Mary and Herbie have for one another. She adores him and he adores her. Mary is patient, kind and loving with him. I am amazed at how she talks to Herbie about everything. He is like a sponge and so open to learning. Herbie is truly a light and so full of love and innocence. I am so grateful that my daughter was given the opportunity to be a mother and am so proud of her. He is a gift from Heaven to all of us.



Love is all there is

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I received a special gift from Spirit today that touched my heart and affirmed that how I have been loving myself and what I have been doing for my health this past month is paying off.

As I waited for my friend, Kati, to pay for her purchases at the farmer’s market this morning, I smiled at a woman who was also waiting in line. She was very pretty and looked to be in her early forties.  She kept staring at me as if she knew me. I was surprised when she said, “You inspire me.”  I wondered if she read my blog because I had never seen her before. I was curious and finally said, “Why do I inspire you?” She smiled and said, “You are my future HEALTHY self. I want to look as healthy as you are when I am your age.” I was shocked and said, “Thank you, you are a gift to me today.” She said, “You are my gift today.”

I walked away stunned and when I turned around a minute later to see her, she was gone and nowhere in sight.  As I thought about the interaction and the impact it had on me later that day, I asked myself, “Could she have been an angel?”  I guess I will never know and it doesn’t really matter, does it? God used this woman to affirm that I am healthy NOW.

All I know for sure is that I am following my heart and Love is guiding me and giving me all that I need. I am proud of myself for jumping in so quickly to start the 21 day anti-inflammatory diet. My zest for life and energy are coming back and I feel great.

I finished the diet and am now in the process of introducing new foods into my diet to determine what foods cause inflammation. There is a whole protocol to follow as I listen to my body and what it wants and doesn’t want. It is very helpful that I am muscle testing all my foods before I eat them. It was a very constrictive diet: no dairy, wheat, sugar, eggs, etc.

If anybody had told me that I could follow this diet with just vegetables, fruits, turkey, chicken, fish and nuts, I would have told them they were crazy. But with the grace of God and Spirit’s help, I did it. I was willing to do whatever I needed to do to get and to stay healthy. A cancer scare and heart problems got my attention, for sure.

We went to dinner with our friends on Christmas Eve to a really nice restaurant. Of course, there were  all kinds of desserts that I loved. I wasn’t tempted and was the only one that didn’t indulge in dessert. Now that is a miracle for I love sweets.

I would like to share a book that Larry and I are reading that is having a profound effect on us. It is  called, “Love Is All There Is” by The Source. The author does not give his name. It was a revelation that was given to him in 2006 about the revelations of Love. He writes,

“I found the image of a vengeful, wrathful, punishing God in direct contradiction to a creator of a remarkable universe, so perfectly in balance. I found the idea of going to God with a list of things I wanted and then waiting to see if I have been good enough to get them reflective of Santa Claus, not a source of abundance. And I found the concept of fearing God to be impossible if I was to love the creator. Love and fear cannot coexist.”

It is a powerful book that is teaching me how to CHOOSE LOVE in everything and for everything because all there is Love. Everything else is our ego and has to do with separation. It is not possible for me to be separate from Love for Love is all there is. We are ONE with God and we are not separate.  I am Love and you are Love. It is a divine truth to recognize and remember.

When I choose love, instead of obsessing, comparing, complaining or feeling fearful, I am free to live in peace and joy and limitless divine possibilities. It is as simple as saying “I CHOOSE LOVE” and the peace and grace come.

For example: If I feel disappointed or discouraged, instead of giving it a story, I instead say “I CHOOSE LOVE.” If I feel jealous or am comparing myself to another, I stop the monkey mind, and instead say “I CHOOSE LOVE.  I also say, “Love, I give this to you. I want to see Love in this situation.”


“What if” we took a moment to imagine that we chose this life adventure because “LOVE” wanted us to experience itself as form. We were given the opportunity to choose to become love in form. The way to fulfill that requirement is by becoming vessels of love. As I contemplated this, I wondered what my life would look like and how my life would change if I honestly endeavored to be a vessel of love.

First of all, I would have to work at recognizing and confronting my ego. I would have to consciously believe that is why I chose to walk this journey to be a vessel of love. I would need to know that the more I love myself, the more I could love others.

As a vessel of love, I would have to stop making my life so busy and stressful.

As a vessel of love, I would have to learn how to forgive and love those who have hurt me.

As a vessel of love, I would have to stop thinking that I was unworthy to be a vessel of love and remember we are all worthy and have always been worthy. Worthiness is a non issue.

As a vessel of love, I would understand that love is like the sun which shines its light on everyone and everything and doesn’t discriminate.

As a vessel of love, I would be open to the energy and light of love and allow love to lead me.

As a vessel of love, I would trust love over fear and know that to love, I must let go of fear.

As a vessel of love, I would work at accepting and not judging others.

In this New Year wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all believed that our reason for walking this journey in form, is to become vessels of love.

What would you have to change and what would that look like for you?


GRATITUDE is my attitude

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As I think about 2017 coming to an end, the word that stands out for me is GRATITUDE. Of course, what I am most grateful for is getting married to my best friend and soul mate, Larry. After waiting and praying for 15 years, I was ready to be in a committed relationship. It truly was the desire of my heart to be married, but I had surrendered my will to Spirit, as Larry didn’t want to get married again. He was quite happy with our relationship as it was and didn’t feel the need to get married, until Spirit put it on his heart to ask me to marry him one year ago.  I am grateful that he listened and followed his heart.

I am very grateful for my “renewed heath” and opportunities for the past couple of months. It was a wake- up call to pay attention to my health and change my way of life. I continue to feel better every day.

I have been thinking about what “surrender” means to me. It is the opposite of how I operated much of my life, until I became conscious and awake. I attempted to control people, outcomes and situations and tried to make things happen the way I wanted them. Surrender is a process and it has taken me many years to learn how to surrender and live in peace.

When we tap into this relaxed energy of surrendering, we allow that what we desire to flow to us in  miraculous ways. The job, the relationship or whatever we are envisioning and desiring for our lives is all on its way and when we surrender our plans for the timeline and the form in which we think it should arrive, we allow an even bigger and better outcome to take place. Many of us have heard, “We make plans, and God laughs.”

When we are not fighting the process and complaining, but accepting “what is,” we are able to say YES to limitless opportunities for love and joy to enter our lives. When we surrender to the natural flow of life, we can relax, trusting and knowing that everything is unfolding in perfect and divine timing and all we need to do is “show up” and get out of the way and let life happen.

Surrender occurs when we release our need to control things, and instead choose to place a higher level of trust and faith in the process of life. We choose Love rather than fear and worry because we know there is a Higher Power, Source, Love, God always GUIDING us.

As I thought about the word GUIDANCE, I remembered what it really meant. It means “God U and I Dance.” Simply put, God leads, I follow. It feels so much better when I am relaxed and willing to follow, rather than trying to lead and be in control.  My ego wants me to believe that I am in control and that I know what’s best for me rather than to trust the Spirit within and surrender. My ego wants me to believe that I am separate from God, but the truth is that I am ONE with God. We are all connected and we are all ONE.

As I was thinking about GUIDANCE, I opened to a reading in “Jesus Calling.”

“Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Follow me wholeheartedly with glad anticipation quickening your pace. Though you don’t know what is ahead, I know and that is enough. Some of my richest blessings are just around the bend, out of sight, but nonetheless, very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith-not by sight. This doesn’t mean closing your eyes to what is all around you. It means subordinating the visible world to the invisible shepherd of your soul.”

Love is all there is.  Allow Love to guide you and give you peace. Surrender to “what is” and the process of life and you will experience miracles and limitless possibilities.


I have all theTIME I need

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I want to wish everyone a happy and peaceful holiday. I know the holidays can be a stressful time, especially if we have recently lost someone or have been through a painful divorce or loss. Please know I pray every day for all of you who read the blog.  I am grateful for you.

As I reflect on the last few weeks after starting my anti-inflammatory diet along with the 21- day “Supreme Self-Love” retreat, I have to say the retreat has not been what I expected. I thought, like retreats in the past, I would be spending more “quiet time” in meditation and prayer.

Here is the message I received rrom Spirit at the beginning of the retreat.

“Let my presence override everything you experience like an ILLUMINATING veil of light. I hover over you and everything around you. I am training you to stay conscious of me in every situation. This period of ILLUMINATION and clarity that we are entering asks what messages keep repeating themselves so you will listen. You will keep getting it until you see it fully. Pay attention, wake up, take yourself back and stop accepting behaviors that don’t suit you. Stop settling, you are made for so much more.”

Due to my current health opportunities, my focus has been on “eliminating” foods that were causing inflammation in my body. It has been miraculous because of how much energy and better I feel.

While in prayer, this is what came to mind: “To ELIMINATE is to ILLUMINATE.” As I eliminate what no longer serves me, the light of God within me shines brighter. We are all called to be the light of Love in the world, especially in this time of awakening. People are searching for meaning and purpose in their lives and we can BE the light for them. They want what we have.

What I didn’t expect was that I would not only be eliminating foods that no longer served me, but that I would be eliminating old beliefs and resentments that I didn’t know were there. The process was internal, as well as external. I cleaned out closets, cupboards and threw away addiction handouts that I thought I would need some day, but hadn’t looked at in 10 years. You bet I feel LIGHTER.

Through a recurring dream that I worked with, Spirit revealed to me my rushing/pushing/controlling behaviors regarding TIME and getting things done. My old belief was that it was not ok to RELAX  because I didn’t feel safe until everything was done on my list.”

Here is the message from Holy Spirit:

“Time is an illusion. You have all the time you need to do what I want you to do and you want to do. Not having enough time is a hidden belief that has caused you much anxiety all your life. It is self-induced anxiety and a behavior that has robbed you of your peace. When you feel the anxiety and wanting to race and get things done, just NOTICE it, LOVE it and let it go. Do not try to hurry the process. If you want to be aligned with me, you have to accept my time frame. Hurry is not in my nature. It is coming to the LIGHT now so I can transform it because it no longer serves you.”

My new affirmation is “I have all the time I need, everything is in perfect and divine time.” I know that Spirit has already given me everything that I need. It is my responsibility to slow myself down and  notice when I am racing or pushing to get things done. I am reminding myself that there is always tomorrow. It is important not to judge myself because this is a pattern that has been with me for many years, but no longer serves me.”

I am truly grateful for this process of elimination so I can be the LIGHT and presence of Love in the world. Remember, to ELIMINATE IS TO ILLUMMINATE. What is Spirit calling you to eliminate in your life that no longer serves you?





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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

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