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I am on FIRE and in awe!

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Oct
17

As I sit on the plane waiting for it to take off, my heart is full of gratitude and awe. I am returning to Maui from Oakland, California after assisting Amrita Grace at the Awakening and Healing Sacred Sexuality weekend.

The only way I can describe what I am feeling is that I am on FIRE to share this sacred, holy work with all women.  This work is powerful and profound as well as gentle and safe. I have EXPANDED and gone deeper than I ever thought possible. I am healing trauma and deep wounding in my body from this life time and past generations.

What a great opportunity to assist Amrita and learn how to lead a weekend workshop. Learning to teach this work is one of the best decisions I have made. When I complete my training, I will be able to teach this practice all over the world. How good it that and in divine timing.

Being on the “other side” as an assistant, I watched the women on the weekend transform before my very eyes. The women faced their fears and embraced the Goddess and power within. It was extraordinary and beautiful to be a part of.

As part of my six- month training to become a Certified Spiritual Sexual Educator, I will be leading a workshop along with 2 of my classmates on Maui on January 5-6. The weekend is starting to fill up and we are so excited.

On the plane ride to Oakland for the workshop, I experienced a DIVINE set-up or what I call a GodIncidence. I sat next to a young woman that when we started talking, we didn’t stop for 4 hours.

She is a videographer and just finished shooting a spiritual retreat at Lumeria Retreat Center here on Maui. She lives in Mexico and Is a yoga teacher and retreat leader herself. The door opened for me to share about the Awakening and Healing sacred sexuality weekend when she asked, “What are you going to California for?”

After I shared my journey of healing from sexual abuse, she shared she was drugged and raped by a co-worker recently and hadn’t talked about it or had any therapy for it. I validated her. listened to her story and encouraged her to seek treatment. I invited her to attend the workshop here on Maui in January. She seemed excited about attending it and will let me know if it will work for her. She also said, “Perhaps you can come to Mexico to teach about sacred sexuality.”

I was led to share with her that I was an Alcohol and Drug therapist for 20 years. That opened another door that was extremely meaningful.  She shared her family dynamics as her mother is an active alcoholic. She also shared how she always attracts men who have addiction problems and didn’t understand why.

I shared my story of growing up with an alcoholic mother and what I did to heal. I told her about 12 step programs and how they helped me understand the disease and recover. She was so receptive and said, “I will definitely check out meetings when I return home.”

Holy moly, I could not have chosen a better woman to sit next to so I could share my gifts and wisdom.  As the plane was about to land and we exchanged emails and phone numbers, she looked at me and said, “When I was walking up the aisle to find my seat, I prayed and asked God to let me sit next to someone who would have a message for me.”

I know more than ever that I am always guided and provided for when I listen and follow my heart.  I “show up” and trust there is a divine plan and God’s timing is always perfect.

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God’s divine timing is perfect

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Oct
4

It’s unbelievable how in one week’s time we can go from the bottom of the pit to the mountain top.  Thank you God!

I shared in last week’s blog what a difficult time I was having when my condo fell through for the third time. Even though I struggled with disappointment and fear, I knew deep down that it would sell at the perfect time and to the right and perfect person. My prayer was, “Your will God, not mine be done.”

Today, I am in deep gratitude and my heart rejoices as I received a full price offer on my condo yesterday and it will probably close in 30 days (sooner than the last buyer).  Here is what happened:

A couple of weeks ago, I asked for prayers that my condo would sell from my Face book friends. Many people responded and said they would pray. I received an offer from a woman within a few days.

In the meantime, I received a text from my friend, Cathy, who worked at the VA with me before moving to Maui. She saw it on face book and responded. I called Cathy “my angel” because she spent many hours helping me with computer stuff when I was writing Simply A Woman of Faith. I could not have done it without her assistance.

Cathy wrote, “I have a friend, George, who is looking for a place to buy, is yours still available?” We had just signed the agreement the day before so I had to tell her that I had another offer.

A week later, the women backed out and the condo was back on the market again. I remembered Cathy’s friend, George, and contacted her immediately. She said, “George is still interested.” I gave her my real estate agent’s number for him to call.

George and I started texting and I asked him “What are you looking for?” He said, “Someplace close to the VA, small and ready to move in.” It sounded perfect for him as it was only a few blocks away from the VA and it was ready to move in to.

George came to look at the condo the next day and fell in love with it. I shared with George that Cathy was “my angel” when I worked at the VA. He wrote back and said, “Cathy is my angel too.”

After he put his offer in and I accepted it, he texted me and said, “THANK YOU PAT. We are very happy. We invite you to stop by when you come back to Rhode Island. “

My real estate agent, Bethany, later informed me that George and his girlfriend were expecting a baby and she was 7 months pregnant and ready to nest. That brought tears to my eyes because I knew that they were the perfect family to buy my condo that is filled with love and peace.

I continue to learn through this experience of closed doors and waiting on God. I had to be patient, have faith, let go and trust that God’s timing is perfect. It is clear that the closed doors had nothing to do with me and what I’m doing or not doing. In other words, I wasn’t doing anything wrong.

I had to wait for George to SHOW UP.  I believe that everything is planned in the mind of God and I am always being guided. If I hadn’t asked for prayers on Face book, Cathy wouldn’t have known I was selling the condo.

Thank God we cannot see the whole picture and what Spirit is doing in the background. It is always for our highest good and guaranteed that the right door will open at the right divine time.

I was devastated with the news

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Oct
4

I shared a few weeks ago that the sale of my condo in Rhode Island fell through 4 days before settlement. Of course, I was disappointed and shocked, but I accepted “what is” and put the condo back on the market.

In last week’s blog I shared I had another offer on the condo. It was not what I had expected (several thousand dollars less), but I was grateful I had an offer. We signed the agreement and the inspection was set for this week. I felt peaceful and envisioned everything moving with peace, ease and grace.

I received a call from my real estate agent the morning of the inspection and I could tell in her voice that she didn’t have good news. She said, “Pat, I’m sorry to tell you this but the woman backed out of sale and cancelled the inspection.  We will have to start all over and put the house back on the market.” I was in SHOCK and felt very weary.

I got off the phone and cried in Larry’s arms because I felt so disappointed and devastated. I couldn’t believe what was happening because it was the third offer that fell through and the condo has been empty since July.

It felt like I was hit by a truck and I spent the day going within and loving myself;  two- hour nap, journaling my feelings, praying, crying, forgiving, remembering, hot bath, breathing and letting go of expectations and what I wanted.

I needed to allow myself to BE and feel my feelings and not do a spiritual bypass, even though it felt awful. I know my feelings are messages from my soul and I needed to pay attention.  Fear quickly came to the surface as I “future tripped” on what could happen if I didn’t sell my condo. I wondered if I was doing something wrong?” Has that ever happened to you when something doesn’t turn out the way you envisioned or wanted?

I asked Spirit for a message because I didn’t understand what was going on. Here is what I received.

“This is not your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong. You cannot see the whole picture in this moment. Accept what is and TRUST. Let go of your expectations and what you want. Most of all, love yourself and don’t beat up on yourself. You are not alone. I am providing for you. You need to relax and rest in me. Feel your feelings and then let them go.” 

When I woke up the next morning, I felt hopeful, peaceful, renewed and like something had shifted deep inside of me. Spirit guided me to read a book that I bought forty- three years ago when I was going through a difficult time and needed God’s guidance.  It’s called “How God Guides us” by Don Basham.

My spiritual life has been based on the wisdom from this small book that cost $1.00.  God guides us through open and closed doors. When I’m not sure what direction to go, my prayer is always “God open the door if it is for my highest good and close the door if it is not.” It has always worked, but it is not always easy when the door is closed in your face, especially when it is closed 3 times as it has been with my condo.  Basham writes:

* Closed doors are a vital part of guidance. Don’t be afraid of closed doors. 

* When God closes a door, it’s because His/Her plan involves something else.

   If a door is closed, another door will open.  

* The door of His/Her choice will open further down the line. 

* Faith grows between that time when you think God has to answer and that time  

  when he finally does.

I wrote a book called Simply a Woman of Faith and have been on the faith journey for many years. My faith muscles are growing stronger and stronger every day. I only want to be aligned with God’s will and I trust I am being guided through open and closed doors.

We are all invited to make a commitment to TRUST Spirit, God, Love and the Universe even more deeply and to remember everything is already planned in the mind of God and we are always being guided to our highest and best good.

Basham writes in his book, “Living by faith is like living in the midst of a miracle on the edge of a disaster. IF God doesn’t come through, you go UNDER.”

Come to Maui and retreat

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Oct
4

Do you listen to the small, still voice of God within or do you ignore the messages that you receive every day? I wouldn’t be living on Maui if I hadn’t listened, followed my heart and trusted I was being led.

When we are paying attention, messages come in many ways; through our dreams, books, other people, prayer, synchronicities, journaling, meditation or just an intuitive knowing what to do next in your life.

I recently had a dream that I was pregnant. I work with my dreams and asked Spirit, “What new life (project, idea) is being birthed in me?” I had no idea what it was and just waited for something to show up. And it did! Here is what happened:

I met Melina in July at the Sacred Feminine Mystery School we were both attending. I loved her energy and we spent time getting to know one another. She shared how much she loved “Mother Maui” as she had been there many times before.  She was thrilled when I invited her to stay with us in our home.  She accepted the offer and has been with us all week. Because of her experience, I have given BIRTH to this new DIVINE IDEA.

Larry and I are opening our hearts and home and will be offering our “GUEST SUITE” for a personal retreat to nurture your soul and spirit while you are on Maui.

Have you always dreamed about visiting Maui to experience its glorious sunsets, white sand beaches and beautiful flowers?  Is Spirit calling you to come away to renew and restore your soul and spirit? There will always be excuses of why you can’t do something for yourself. I invite you to ask yourself, “If not now, when?”

“We invite you to experience the peaceful environment and enjoy our lovely spacious home, with a beautiful panoramic view of the Pacific! You will enjoy our private GUEST SUITE with your own bathroom.  This bedroom is filled with natural light and has a stunning ocean view with a sliding patio door that leads directly out to the lanai. You can enjoy the common area which includes kitchen, dining room and living room. Washer and dryer and parking are included.  Sip your morning coffee/tea while admiring the ocean view and open yourself to the peace and tranquility around you 

If you desire, we will share helpful hints about special places to visit for renewal, and time to simply unwind and flow into your own internal rhythm. We will provide you with helpful details to help ease your retreat planning, such as affordable places to rent a car, and where to pick up your food on your 1/2-hour drive from the airport to our home.

We prefer to host only female guests who are traveling solo, and on a weekly basis.  This respite is a sacred time for you to share with yourself. Our deepest desire is that our home will offer you peace and love and what you seek in renewal, and more. Let each day of your stay be one guided by your heart as it directs you to the many pleasures that Maui has to offer”.

If your heart is pounding and you feel excited about the prospect of a personal woman’s retreat on Maui, please email me or call 401-862-8859. We would love to talk and discuss all of the possibilities with you!

I am so honored to be the first woman to accept the loving invitation of a personal retreat on Maui.  Pat and Larry have a beautiful and spacious, love filled, home.  My one-week stay has been truly splendid and nurturing. I was greeted so lovingly by both of them, shown around the house, and sunk shortly thereafter into a comfortable bed where I slipped into a welcoming sleep after many hours of travel.  It was dark when I arrived, so it wasn’t until morning that I was able to see that just down the hill from where their home is situated, the ocean makes her presence known by a long expanse of blue in three directions.  There is a sweet melody of birdsong that soothes, the fragrance of Plumeria that bloom in the garden, and the house is peaceful and filled with fresh, pure air and sunlight.   

My week has been filled with sacred time with Maui Mama! With daily dips in the ocean, and sunshine streaming through my mind, my eyes have filled with light as they have a deep affinity with the healing blue of ocean and sky.  Every day has been a wonderful honopono adventure where I have been guided by Spirit.  I have cherished every minute of it! Before my arrival, Pat shared all I should know to plan my trip.  She was present at the beginning and end of my day to hear of my adventures, or not, as I was invited to do whatever I wanted.   

I leave this evening on a red eye flight, not wanting my retreat to ever end, yet full from the love of this home and Maui, ready to bring my reconnection of heart and soul home with me.  I cannot express my gratitude to my kind hosts, Pat and Larry, for sharing their guest suite with me. The opportunity to come home to myself on this lovely isle is truly graced with the spirit of Aloha!   

With my deepest gratitude, I will be back! 

Melina

September 2018

 

What to do when you are triggered

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Oct
4

I’m sure we’ve all been triggered at one time or another. For me, a trigger is when something happens in the present (an emotion, reaction, belief) that stems from something in my past that still needs healing. I can tell that it’s from the past because my reactions and feelings may be over the top and not rational. I will often feel shame and embarrassment for my reactions and feelings. Can you relate?

I may think that the past is over and I’ve let go of the past.  I ask myself, “Why is it still coming up and why does it still bother me? It may be comparing myself to another, jealousy, not feeling good enough or feeling unworthy. If it’s coming into the light, it’s because there is more healing needed. Healing is like an onion, one layer at a time. I must be willing to trust it’s coming up to be healed.

I became aware this week of how I’ve minimized some of my childhood experiences because I didn’t want to feel the depth of my pain. My mother, because of her own pain and alcoholism often ignored me and didn’t give me the attention I needed and craved. Consequently, I looked outside for attention and felt devastated when I didn’t get it. Talk about always giving my power away.  If I think I’m being ignored or forgotten in the present (real or unreal), it’s probably coming from past wounding that needs healing.

We can also minimize what’s happening in our present circumstances in our relationships or jobs because we don’t want to feel and face the truth.  If we feel our feelings and face the truth, we will have to do something about it. Sometimes, it’s easier to stay in denial and minimize what’s going on.

We all have coping skills and behaviors to avoid feeling our feelings. Some people drink, eat, stay busy, shop, gamble, minimize, work, people please and on and on.  What do you do to avoid your feelings?

To HEAL is to FEEL. When we don’t allow ourselves to feel all of our feelings, they go underground and we get sick and get stuck. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. When I allow myself to process all of my feelings, even when they don’t make sense, they move through me and I can let go of them and be healed. When I am triggered or feel an “ouch” it’s a call to love myself UNCONDITIONALLY.

Here is my declaration of SELF LOVE and what I do and don’t do when I’m triggered.

  • I WILL not shame or blame myself
  • I WILL NOT judge myself
  • I WILL NOT beat up on myself
  • I WILL NOT blame someone else for my trigger
  • I WILL NOT be a victim

 

  • I WILL love myself unconditionally
  • I WILL feel all of my feelings
  • I WILL trust in Divine healing
  • I WILL trust myself
  • I WILL bring my triggers to the light and share them with someone I trust
  • I WILL ask Spirit to heal me
  • I WILL be compassionate with myself so I can offer compassion to another
  • I WILL forgive myself if I need to
  • I WILL see everything that happens as a DIVINE SET-UP for my healing
  • I WILL be grateful for what I have, rather than what I don’t have
  • I WILL affirm that everything I need is within

The spiritual journey is about remembering the truth of who I am. I am ONE with God and everyone else. When I know that I am LOVE and love is all there is, I will experience peace and freedom. I am a work in progress and so are you.

I must not only talk the talk, but I must walk it

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Oct
4

I not only have to talk the talk, but I must be willing to WALK the WALK. Spirit has given me another opportunity to TRUST and put into practice what I believe about life. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND PURPOSE AND I AM ALWAYS GUIDED TO MY HIGHEST AND GREATEST GOOD.

I’ve shared that I sold my condo in Rhode Island and closing was scheduled for August 28th. Everything was in order and papers were signed and FedEx to the lawyer. Four days prior to the closing, I received a phone call from my real estate agent, Bethany. She said, “Pat, I have some bad news for you.” I took a deep breath and said, “Oh, what is going on?”  She said, “The offer fell through because the buyer lost his job and will be unable to purchase the condo.”

Of course, I felt shocked and disappointed, but thankfully my default kicked in right away. I chose to TRUST in the divine plan for my life and let go of what I wanted or thought was right. It was clear that Spirit had another plan and hadn’t consulted me. Isn’t that always the way it is!

Still in shock, I called my son, Brian, who had been handling all the details with selling the condo. It just came out of my mouth and I said, “Brian, I have a THANK YOU GOD.” I’m sure he expected good news and not that the deal fell through. What an opportunity to share with Brian my trust in Spirit and faith walk.

I felt peaceful. which I knew was a gift from God. In the past, I would have felt fear and panic because we had to start all over again and put the condo back on the market. It had already been unoccupied since July 1.

It helped that Spirit brought to mind what happened 20 years ago when I tried to remortgage my home. I was in the process of getting a divorce and I was living alone in my house. If I wanted to stay in the house, I needed to remortgage and get a lower interest rate.

All of the paper work was completed, but when I went to the bank for the closing, they informed me that my husband had decided not to sign the papers at the last minute. I pleaded with them, but to no avail. They had to have his signature since we weren’t divorced yet.  I couldn’t believe it and was not a happy camper.

God had another plan, a better one. A week later, I received a letter from the bank that held my existing mortgage. I was shocked when I read the letter that said, “Because it is an adjustable mortgage, your interest rate has gone down on its own.” If my husband had signed the papers I would have had to pay a few thousand dollars to remortgage.  I saved money and the interest rate was exactly what I wanted.

For many years, my faith walk has been through asking Spirit to open or close the door when I’m not sure which way to go. It works every time as I have had many closed doors at the last minute, as well as doors that appear to open miraculously.

Clearly, the condo falling through 4 days prior to the closing is another example of Spirit closing the door. I know, without a doubt, that God’s plan is better than mine and I have been given another opportunity to TRUST Love.  My faith muscles continue to get stronger and stronger.

Stay tuned as I know I will have another example of how God works as I trust the divine plan to unfold in my life. It is my belief that everything has already been planned in the mind of God so all I need to do is show up, relax, let go and surrender.

 

 

Listening to your heart and following Spirit

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Oct
4

Spirit said, “You must be willing and ready to change directions in your life, especially when you don’t know WHY.” Let me share what happened.

My best friend, Kati, invited me to her birthday party this week.  My pupu was prepared and I was ready to go.  All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I didn’t want to go and felt really uncomfortable about going. I prayed about it and asked Spirit for guidance.  It would be one thing if I didn’t feel good, but I felt fine. How was I going to explain this to her and, of course, I didn’t want to disappoint her? It was so strong that I had to follow my heart and trust I was being led by Spirit.

I called Kati and said, “I won’t be coming to your party tonight and I don’t know why.” I felt stupid, but needed to be totally honest. Of course, she was disappointed, but understood I needed to follow my heart. We were both curious as to why this was happening. When I’ve changed my mind in the past about something I was doing, the next day it would be clear what the reason was. I decided that I wouldn’t beat up on myself and that I would trust Spirit whether the reason was clear or not.

When I prayed about it the next day because I didn’t know why I said no, , Spirit said,

“Most of your life you have put others’ needs first because you needed their love. Today, you are loving yourself first and the love you share now with others is my love.  You followed your heart and risked your friend’s disapproval. I know it was difficult and uncomfortable saying no to her, but you also knew she would understand. It was more important to follow Spirit and your heart than to please Kati. You are going deeper in your trust of me and my guidance.”

This brings to mind what happened when I moved to Maui almost 7 years ago. I had to be willing to change directions because it was my plan to continue coaching, teaching and speaking. That was not God’s plan! I was only here a few weeks and settling in when I heard Spirit clearly say, “I don’t want you to do anything, but I want you to learn how TO BE.”  I knew how TO DO, but I didn’t know how TO BE.  There was resistance at first because I thought I knew how TO BE, but I didn’t

So much has happened since I listened and learned how TO BE.

  • I’ve learned the art of “allowing” and to surrender and go with the flow instead of pushing my way and making things happen. Exhausting!
  • I’ve learned how to TRUST myself and inner guidance, which enables me to RECEIVE the good that the Divine wants to give me.
  • I’ve learned how to say no when I need to and only do what feels right.
  • I’ve learned to love and appreciate all of me, my shadow as well as my light.
  • I’ve learned to give up control and RELAX knowing everything happens for a reason, has a purpose and there are no mistakes.
  • I’ve learned to live in gratitude knowing I am being led to my greatest and highest good.
  • I’ve learned to live in the moment because that is all there is.

I’ve really “settled in” to this peaceful place and enjoy relaxing, playing, swimming, surrendering and BEING. Now I am hearing Spirit say again, “YOU NEED TO CHANGE DIRECTIONS AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND SOUL’S CALLING.”  Of course, I will still do the things I love.

I ask for the grace to remember all I’ve learned in this time of BEING and bring these qualities to the new chapter with the Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing trainings and workshops in which I’m involved in.

I’m excited as I am following my heart and soul’s calling. I feel honored, blessed, grateful, expanded and humbled to be doing this powerful sacred healing work with women.

Our first workshop on Maui is called “Awakening to Sacred Sexuality” and is scheduled for January 5th & 6th at the Waleia Healing Center.  L will be assisting Amrita Grace as an apprentice for the Awakening & Healing workshop in Oakland, California in October. I will be attending a week- long Awakening and Healing retreat in Costa Rica with Caroline Muir and Amrita Grace in November. Oh, happy day! I am free and ready to fly with the angels.

Are you following your heart and are you willing to change direction when Spirit guides you?

 

 

It was a busy day for Spirit

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Oct
4

Before I left my house to meet Dee for coffee this morning, I heard Spirit say, “You need to give 3 books away and bring one for Dee today.”  I was meeting Dee for the first time and had no idea what her spirituality was. I reached out to support her after a friend sent me an email explaining that Dee was coming to Maui for a 13=week contract as a PTA and didn’t know anyone.

After the initial chatter and getting to know one another, she asked, “How did you get to Maui?” I shared how I followed my heart after I heard Spirit’s invitation to leave my home and family and move to Maui. She was very interested and said, “How do you hear Spirit and how long have you been doing this? I would like to learn how to do that.” I smiled and said, “I’ve been on the spiritual path for over 40 years and I listen and practice a lot.”

I was off and running because I love to share my story and inspire others to go within for their answers. I asked, “Do you have a daily spiritual practice?”  She said, “I pray every day to God, but don’t always know if it’s God voice.”

I shared my “blouse story” with her of how I stepped out in faith after I heard the small, still voice of God say, “BUY IT AND I WILL PROVIDE.” It was a difficult time in my life as my husband was out of work for a year and we had 4 children under the age of 10. We had just applied for welfare so money was very tight. I went to the local boutique to kill some time as I waited to pick up the kids from school. I was drawn to the sale rack in back of the store and found a blouse that I fell in love with. It was $10 and I had $10 in my pocket that was for milk and bread on the way home. As I reluctantly put the blouse back, I heard the small, still voice of God say, BUY It AND I WILL PROVIDE.” I stood there stunned and remember thinking, “is that you God?” Thankfully, I trusted the voice and bought the blouse.

I returned home after picking up the kids from school and not buying milk and bread. I grabbed the mail and found the white envelope with “PAT” written on it.  I couldn’t believe my eyes when I opened it and found a crisp ten-dollar bill and note that said, To Pat, From the son of a carpenter.” That was thirty-five years ago and I am still listening to the voice within and stepping out in faith.

Dee sat there stunned after I finished my story. She had God bumps from head to toe as I did. I am grateful that I listened to Spirit and brought a copy of my book, Simply A Woman of Faith to give to her.  She was thrilled when I handed her my  book and said, “I will read this for sure.”  It was exactly what she needed.

I had 2 more books to give away. Larry and I go to Fabiani’s for breakfast every Sunday and Dee is always our waitress. I was really surprised last week when she reached out and hugged me when we left.  For months, I have heard Spirit say, “I want you to give Dee your book.”

Today was the day to give Dee my book. I walked into the restaurant and when she came up to me, I said, “I have a gift for you” and handed her my book. She looked into my eyes and looked genuinely pleased. We embraced and hugged one another tightly.

I trust God’s timing is perfect and that I am always being led. I must pay attention when I hear the small, still voice of God and not be concerned with the results or even if they read the book when I give it away. What is important is that I listen and do what I am instructed to do.

I had one more book to give away and heard Spirit say to go to the library and donate my book, which I did. While I was there, I inquired about giving a presentation on “Awakening to Your Sacred Sexuality.” The plan is to give a talk in November at the library to promote our workshop on Maui January 5th & 6th.

It was a busy day for Spirit!  I am grateful that I listen to the Divine voice within and follow what it says to do. I never know where I will be led and I’m not attached to the outcome. I trust it will be for my highest and best good.  Life gets better and better and continues to surprise and delight me.

 

 

 

The root of misery is control

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Aug
18

Author Kute Blackson writes, “The root of misery is control. Control is the master addiction, the hardest one to give up. Control is an illusion, as there is so much in life that we cannot control. When you try to control what you cannot, then suffering is your guaranteed result.”

Control is about CONSTRICTION and CONTRACTION. It’s been my experience that I tend to want to control when I feel threatened or afraid that I’m going to lose something or I’m not going to get what I want. The opposite of control is EXPANSION.  It’s about being in the flow, trusting, being, surrendering to “what is” and letting go.

All I can change is ME, plain and simple. I cannot change my spouse, my children, my friends or the world. None of us have that kind of power. We may observe things that are harmful that our loved ones are doing to themselves i.e., not taking care of their bodies, eating poorly, not exercising, staying in stressful situations, holding onto resentments, being unwilling to forgive, caught up in addictions, not leaving a marriage or job that is not for their highest good.  The list could go on and on. Can you relate? Is there someone in your life who you would like to change or control?

 

It is difficult to not want to CONTROL someone you love when you think they are hurting themselves and can’t see it or don’t want to see what they are doing. Of course, we love them and want the best for them. You may be thinking now, “Shouldn’t I share my thoughts and concerns with them?” Of course, you share your concerns about what they are doing or not doing. After you have shared your concerns, the key is to then LET GO, DETACH and PRAY and SEND LOVE. I invite you to ask yourself some questions:

 

  • Do I think I am God and know what’s best for someone I love?

 

  • Why don’t I trust that it is their journey to walk and when they are ready to change something in their lives, they will?

 

  • Is it my egoic thinking that I think I know best and have the answers for their lives?

 

When I have been “awakened” to something that needs changing in my own life, it is natural for me to want to share it with those I love and want them to get on board. But when I try to push it down their throats, nag, preach, guilt them or leave books around to educate them, it is about trying to control another, no matter how well- meaning I am.  My loved ones may never choose to change and it is not my responsibility to change them or judge them

 

It is disrespectful when I try to control another. So often we are not even aware of how controlling we are and just think we are being helpful to those we love. Thankfully, I am learning that trying to control another’s destiny just doesn’t work.

 

What comes to mind is a situation that I had with my son many years ago. It was like a light bulb went off when I realized I was trying to control him because I wanted him to UNDERSTAND how I was feeling. I shared with him that I felt hurt about something he had done. He didn’t get it and defended himself. I tried everything I could to make him understand what I was feeling and felt frustrated and angry that he wasn’t getting it and I wasn’t willing to let it go.

 

All of a sudden (after a long time of trying to get him to see it my way) Spirit showed me that it was my control issues that I needed to look at. I was trying to control his reaction to me because I needed or wanted him to understand what I was feeling. It was a lesson that I will never forget and hopefully never do it again.

 

I am grateful I have the tools and know how to detach and stay out of another’s business. I have learned to love them just as they are and trust they will change if and when they want to.  My responsibility is to focus on myself and what I need to do in my own life and love others just as they are because we are all doing the best we can.

 

I have an inner GPS

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Aug
18

When I’m aligned with Spirit, trust God is leading me, I have the confidence to move forward not in fear, but with an attitude of gratitude.

I like to think of it as my inner GPS like I have in my car when the voice says, “Recalculate. You are going in the wrong direction.” I have had many detours in my life, as well as open and closed doors. I’ve been redirected for my highest good, although it may not have felt that way in the moment. I probably don’t understand what’s going on and may feel fear, disappointment or anger.  It’s usually comes from the attitude of “I want what I want when I want it and I want it now.”  Can you relate?

 

Alan Cohen writes in his book, Dare to Be Yourself, “Disappointments are the hooks upon which God hangs his victories. There is a way to deal with disappointments that can make you a winner. Remove the D and replace it with H. Thus, disappointment becomes “HISAPPOINTMENT. In other words, remove the incident from the projections of your expectations and imagine that God has caused the situation to turn out this way because He has a bigger and better plan than the one you formulated. Our idea of the way things should be pales in the face of God’s vision for how good it can and will be.”

 

We’ve all had experiences of being disappointed when things don’t go the way we thought they were going to go. We need to know how to work through the disappointment and not “stay stuck” or resentful because things didn’t go the way we wanted or expected them to go. It is an opportunity to trust God that whatever is happening is for our highest good.

 

How easy it was to beat up on myself when I thought I made a mistake, even though I know there are no mistakes when God is my PILOT. I’ve learned to be compassionate with myself, to accept “what is” and trust the process. It never fails!

Spirit brought to mind what happened over nine years ago when I went to the airport a day early. It was the beginning of BIG CHANGES in my life. My brother had dropped me off at the airport and I needed to get back home that day as I had an event planned the next day.

When I went to sign in and the airline attendant said, “Your flight is scheduled for tomorrow” I was shocked and disappointed at first. I CHOSE not to beat up on myself, but to stay in gratitude and figure out what my next step was. I had to buy a new ticket and the attendant advised me to go to another airline that had better prices, which I did.

As I walked to the new terminal after buying my ticket with an “attitude of gratitude,” a young man in a booth motioned to me to come over. Since I had a few hours to kill and nothing to do, I walked over.

I ended up signing up for a United credit card and received a free round- trip ticket to anywhere in the US. Not a bad deal!  A week later. I met my “Angel” Ellen after I finished my talk at the church. When she told me she lived on Maui, I said, “It’s always been my dream to visit Hawaii.” She said, “You can stay with me and use my car for as long as you want.”  I couldn’t pass it up since I had a free place to stay and a free plane ticket.

The rest is history. I visited Ellen for 2 weeks and fell in LOVE with Maui. Maui welcomed me with open arms and the next thing I knew I was leaving family, friends and my business to move permanently to Maui. Today. I live in a beautiful home overlooking the ocean with my beloved, Larry

It all started with what could have looked like a mistake by going to the airport on the wrong day. I am so grateful for my inner GPS that always guides me and redirects/recalculates my path when it’s for my highest good. God is good!

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Pat Hastings

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