“Pearls of Blessings” Special Bridal Shower honoring Pat Hastings.
Here is the invitation that was sent to my friends: “Please bring a prayer, poem, or blessing to share. Thank you for adding your Divine Presence to this joyous celebration.”
I was very excited and a bit nervous the morning of my bridal shower. My prayer was that I would be able to RECEIVE all the love that my sisters would shower on me. In the past, when my ego was running the show, I unconsciously blocked love from coming in because of not feeling deserving or worthy. I believe that the more I open myself to RECEIVE love, the more I can give LOVE.
I am pleased to share that my prayer was answered big time! Someone commented that I had a perpetual smile on my face and that I glowed. I felt like I was glowing from the inside out and my face hurt from smiling so much. My heart was happy to be in the presence of such beautiful loving Goddesses who so willingly poured out their love on me.
The energy of love in the room was electrifying, magical and powerful. The next day after the shower, I felt like I was in an “altered state.” My body was tingling with energy all day and I walked around in a daze, not being able to do much of anything. Larry commented to me, “I hope you won’t be driving today.” Talk about the POWER OF LOVE.
What I realize is that I had to be willing to expand my heart to be able to receive the outpouring of so much love. I think this is the way we are meant to live as we are all vessels of love and our reason for being here is to receive and give love to one another.
We laughed, prayed, cried, shared with one another and had a delicious meal together. We played a fun bride game that had us all in hysterics. I received beautiful cards, poems, well wishes and gifts that were so meaningful.
I sat in the middle of a semi-circle, surrounded by beautiful Goddesses and flowers, as each woman came up to me to read their blessing or card. I also received cards and written poems from friends in Rhode Island.
I handed each woman a pearl that Kat provided from her grandmothers pearls. This was very moving because Kat had taken the pearls apart so each woman could receive a pearl. The pearl was then returned to me so they could be restrung and I will wear them as a sign of this celebration of love. I found out later that my friend, Ruth, gave Kat money to pay to have the beads restrung.
The highlight of the night that brought us all to tears is when I opened the gift from my friend, Lesta, who is an amazing artist. She painted a picture of my grandson, Herbie. All of my friends knew the powerful story of Herbie’s adoption and it was like time stopped and we all felt the presence of God in that moment. The painting captured his essence and soul. I have never seen anything like it because Light emanated from the painting. Lesta shared with me the next day, “When I read your blog a few months ago about his adoption and saw his picture, I knew I had to paint him. It was like the paintbrush took over. He has the look of an old soul. I believe it was your faith and prayers that drew his bright soul into your family.”
I feel so blessed and grateful to have such beautiful loving women in my life. They truly were my sisters and mothers and God loved me through each one of them. One of my friends reminded me that the love I received is the love I give and that I created this beautiful circle of friends around me. Another friend commented, “I felt the presence of God in the room. Never have I attended such a loving celebration. I left in the embrace of sisterhood – nourished by the delicious food and beautiful blessings.”
Here is one of the poems that I received:
The Love Declarations – A Covenant
I am your partner in awakening from fear. From this moment on, at all times, under all conditions, I declare I am and I will be, for all beings, A Conscious Source of absolute Love; and I promise, I will serve only Love, in you, in me, and in All, no matter what, for the rest of my life.
Thank you Kat, Kati and Catherine for creating a most memorable and sacred celebration for my bridal shower. Thank you all the women who blessed me with your love and kindness. I will never be the same.
I bought some orchids in a large container about 2 ½ years ago for my birthday at a yard sale. The women explained that they had just blossomed and would bloom again in a few months. She didn’t remember what colors they were, but said they were beautiful. In the past, I had never been able to grow orchids so I wanted to make sure I did it the right way. I was patient and watered them weekly, (for 2 ½ years), but no flowers bloomed.
I had given up on them flowering. Then, one day about a month ago, I noticed the first white orchid blooming and then the second and the third. All in all, there are now 12 beautiful orchids blooming. I was astonished after all this time, that they would start to flower. A couple of weeks later, I noticed a yellow orchid starting to bloom. There are 14 buds on the plant ready to pop.
You might be saying to yourself, “So, who cares about her orchids, what’s the point?” There are probably many things we can learn from this simple story. I could have easily tossed the plants and bought new ones to replace them because I love orchids in my home. How many of us have tossed relationships or jobs or dreams because things weren’t happening fast enough?
The lesson for me about the flowers is about WAITING and not giving up. I didn’t really think about it, but I just kept watering them and accepted that I wasn’t going to get flowering orchids. I didn’t have any expectations of when or if they would flower. I just enjoyed their shiny green leaves.
Like most of you, I don’t like to wait.. I’m impatient and want to know what’s going on NOW. Larry might say that I can be IMPULSIVE and he is right. When I think of something I want to buy or do or go somewhere, I am on it in a flash. I am not a procrastinator and do get things done, so that is a good thing. But, being impatient and not willing to wait or wanting things to go my way causes me a great deal of stress
I have learned to temper that part of me that doesn’t like to wait by going within and asking Spirit “What do I need to do or say in this moment. I often hear, ‘WAIT” and I listen. When I hear “Speak or go or do” I follow through. I have seen a big difference in my relationship with Larry when I listen and don’t jump in and let my ego run the show.
As human beings, I think expectations can cause us undue suffering and pain. We want what we want when we want it and we want it NOW. We don’t trust God’s perfect plan and timing for our lives. We are not able to accept “what is.” We want something different than “what is.” We complain, blame, control, manipulate and try to make things happen. We may try to change people we love, instead of looking at ourselves and what needs to be changed in us.
I stayed in a marriage for 30 years until I could no longer stay and was strong enough to leave. I did all of the above; complained, blamed, controlled and it just didn’t work. I could not accept “what is” and knew that if I wanted to live my life to the fullest, leaving was in my best interest and ultimately in his best interest also. I wouldn’t be where I am today and getting married if I didn’t have the courage to look at myself and what needed to be changed in me.
Life is often about letting go, letting God and allowing Spirit to lead the way. We need to discern and ask Spirit what to do next if we are unhappy or struggling in a relationship or job. We need to discern whether to give up, wait or keep going. Others may think we are crazy, but we know in our hearts what we need to do.
If we want peace, we must follow our hearts, no matter what others think. Where do you need to follow your heart? Where do you need to wait? Where do you need to keep going and not give up?
It’s hard to believe that at age 70, I am planning a wedding. As Larry’s gift to me, he has given me free reign to choose what I want as far as decorating, songs, invitations, etc. He was happy to be included in the selection for the catering menu at our reception. We know where his heart is! I am grateful for this gift because it takes a lot of stress out of the equation.
I have to say, I love being a BRIDE. Some refer to me as a “blushing bride,” but I am not blushing because I am enjoying every moment of it and having fun. Right from the start, Larry and I both affirmed that everything would flow with peace, ease and grace because we know weddings can be very stressful and we work hard at avoiding stress in our lives.
I found the perfect wedding dress- the first one I tried on and it fit me to a tee. I feel like Cinderella with my new sparkly diamond sandals that I purchased at “If The Shoe Fits” shoe store. I was so excited that I took a picture of them and posted them on Face book. I had lots of comments and 100 likes. I was at a Beatles concert last night and several women who saw the post walked by me and said, “I love your shoes.” We girls like our shoes!
My Maid of Honor, Kati, and I created the wedding invitations and we just love them .It took several hours (and some swearing) before we finally got it right. We prayed, asked for help and didn’t give up. I showed the invitation to a friend and she said, “I will use this like a vision board for what I want to attract into my life.”
I am making the flower arrangements for the ceremony, reception and my bridal bouquet. Although I really want to do the flower arrangements, it is probably the most stressful part of it all because I have to decide what flowers I want. When I left the florist the other day and had made my decisions on what flowers I wanted, I felt like I was floating on air and full of joy. I know it will be beautiful and many of my girlfriends have offered to help.
“We make plans and God laughs.” This certainly holds true in what we just experienced with our wedding plans. As I shared in an earlier blog, we were getting married in a beautiful little Hawaiian church on Maui with a reception to follow at Cafe Ole at the Dunes. Invitations were done and ready to be sent out when I received an email from the minister, “Pat, I am so sorry but the church is no longer available for your wedding. The board just informed me that there was a prior event planned that involves all the churches in Hawaii coming to our church at that time. Can we do it another day?”
I would say that not having a church to get married in is a big change of plans! As I read the email to Larry, we looked at one another in shock and said, “O.K, now what?”
Within the first 5 minutes, God’s grace was evident as I started to do the EFT tapping that I mentioned in a blog a few weeks ago. It really works. I could feel my body relax and it felt like the tension was like a balloon that had been deflated. It was amazing that we both felt peaceful in the midst of what could have been a lot of drama.
In the past, we may have gone into a panic, felt angry and indignant that this happened to us. Instead, we accepted it and knew that it was going to work out for our highest good. We were being given an opportunity to trust and practice what we believe.
We discussed a few different options and called some other churches in the area, but to no avail. All of a sudden the idea came into my mind to get married in our beautiful home. Why not? We will turn our home into a sacred sanctuary filled with love, friends and beautiful flowers.
I can already see how this new arrangement is for our highest good and going to be much better. I felt kind of restricted as to what we could and couldn’t do with the ceremony in the church. Now we can do whatever we want and we also save a lot of money.
We found a Hawaiian minister to perform the ceremony and he is open to whatever we want to do.. (Www.rev.kimo) My daughter, Mary, will walk me down the aisle (in my living room) to the Alleluia song sung by the priest at a wedding on YouTube. I know there will not be a dry eye in the place, including the both of us.
Here is a poem that describes our journey
Wait for it.
A gentle Love,
A tender Love,
A passionate Love, with
big plans, an everyday
Love with quiet moments,
a Love born of trust and faith
Larry and I invited Ellen to lunch at our favorite restaurant, “The Sea House” for her birthday. We also invited our friend, Ruth, who is on Maui for 4 months from Rhode Island.. As I thought about it, I felt excited because these two women play a significant role in my living on Maui.
Seven years ago Ruth invited me to be a speaker at her church. She was on the worship committee and had to organize 10 spiritual speakers for the summer series. Ruth didn’t know me, but happened to be at another church service in the community and saw a flyer that I had left on the table. She said she felt my energy through the picture and decided to check out my website. Ruth called and asked me if I would be interested in speaking at her church. Of course, I was thrilled and said, “Yes.”
We met a few weeks before the talk to discuss what I would be speaking about and the logistics. I talked quite a bit about manifesting and the power of faith. When we were done, Ruth turned to me and said, “So Pat, what do you plan on manifesting next?” I have no recall of saying this but Ruth remembers very clearly what happened. She said, “You put up your arms and said, “I am going to live in Hawaii.”
Ruth then replied to me, “I would love to introduce you to Ellen, who will be at the service this Sunday. Ellen lives on Maui and she is here visiting her daughter.”
After my talk on Sunday, Ruth brought over Ellen to introduce me to her. Ellen was 85 years old and a very vivacious woman. After some small talk I said, “I have always wanted to visit Hawaii.” Ellen then whipped out a post card of her condo which overlooked the ocean and said, “Oh you can stay with me for as long as you want and you can also use my car.”
The rest is HISTORY. I visited Ellen for 2 weeks at Thanksgiving and then a year later I moved to Maui and lived in a condo with Ellen’s daughter and son-in-law for 6 months, which also overlooked the ocean. What really amazes me now is that I paid $300 a month.
Ruth and I stayed in touched through occasional emails and she knew I had moved to Maui. When she came to Maui 3 years ago, she emailed me and asked if I could check out the place she was about to rent, which I did.
Ruth and I spent lots of time together playing and having fun. We really got to know one another and in fact, she helped me find and move into the home that I now live in with Larry. When I returned to Rhode Island in the summer to lead a retreat, Ruth attended and even brought her daughter, Kerry, to the last retreat. Kerry and her husband, Neil, recently moved to Maui.
Ruth met Larry when she was here and loved him. She said to another friend of mine, (because she knew I was looking for my soul mate), “Why isn’t Pat with Larry – they are meant for each other?” I explained to her as I did to my other friends and family, “He is my best friend and I just don’t have romantic feelings for him.” It wasn’t until we were both ready and it was God’s timing.
I asked Ruth during our lunch this week, “You have watched our love story unfold. What has it been like for you now that Larry and I are engaged and getting married?”
“ OMG, this is one of the most special times that has transpired by bringing people together I knew from different settings. Ellen is full of love, as Pat is. At 90 years old, she is still teaching 2 yoga classes at the senior center every week. She has amazing energy and a positive attitude.
As I watch what has happened with Pat and Larry, I am basking in the glow of these two people who have consciously taken the time to look into their spirituality in depth. It is unusual to find a man like this with such a caring, loving, light-hearted attitude and living life to the fullest. The same adjectives to describe Larry I recognize in Pat. She is caring, loving, light-hearted and glowing in love. They both truly live life to the fullest. Their union was inevitable.”
I am truly grateful how the Universe brings people and situations together for our highest good. I had no idea what would happen and how my life would change by saying YES to Ruth when she asked me to speak at her church. I had no idea that when Ellen invited me to visit her on Maui, I would be living here full time a year later.
I just kept saying YES to what life presented to me. Although I had no idea of what the future would hold, as none of us do, God knew the plans He had in mind for me.
The one thing I am certain about on the spiritual path is that WE ARE NEVER DONE and there is always MORE. After several decades of doing inner work, forgiveness and transformation, I was surprised when Spirit brought to the light something that needed to be healed and released in me. It felt like emotional surgery that I believe was a “divine set up.”
My life was working well; I felt peaceful, I was getting married and I have a new grandchild. I share this experience with you so you will know that you are not alone and to show you how you can free yourself from any emotional blockages that you may have that are keeping you from living your life to the fullest.
I participated in the 10 day World Summit for EFT tapping.
“Emotional Freedom Techniques is tapping on “meridian points” on the body, derived from acupuncture. It can release “energy blockages” that cause “negative emotions.” EFT is a
universal healing tool that can provide impressive results for physical, emotional, and performance issues. The premise includes the understanding that the more unresolved emotional issues you can clear, the more peace and emotional freedom you will have in your life. EFT can be an ongoing process that we use to clear out the old traumas, and welcome any new challenges with a healthy, productive attitude.”
The “divine set up” happened as I listened to the EFT talk with Carol Tuttle and participated in a tapping session called, “Whose energy is it?” We are made up of energy and can be affected by others’ energies without even knowing it. It can happen with a co-worker, spouse, or a friend. It can happen while we are listening to the news or radio and all of a sudden, we are feeling discouraged or depressed and don’t know why. It could be that you picked up someone’s energy and it is not yours.
The day after I did the tapping session, I attended a beautiful “love circle” and house blessing with my 6 soul sisters. The love energy and vibration was incredibly high and everyone felt it. I think being in that beautiful love energy brought to the surface the “energy blockage” from past trauma that needed to be processed and released.
For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with comparing myself and feeling jealous when I didn’t get the attention I craved and wanted when I was a part of a woman’s group. Instead of denying, minimizing or running from my feelings, I allowed myself to go into them and embrace them. For two days, I allowed myself “solitude” and quiet time to cry, feel and write what was coming up to be processed and released. I prayed and asked my friends for help, which was humbling and vulnerable. I don’t like emotional pain, but I know that if I don’t allow myself to feel my feelings, the energy will stay stuck in my body and I will get sick. As children most of us weren’t encouraged to feel our feelings and were even criticized for being too sensitive.
I chose to be vulnerable and as honest as I could be when I shared my struggle with a friend the next day. My heart was pounding, and I felt embarrassed, stupid and like a teenager. Deep shame seemed to envelop me, as tears rolled down my cheeks. I asked myself, “Where was this shame coming from?” I have learned that when something is very strong in the present, it is often about unresolved, blocked emotional pain from the past. You may not recognize that you are feeling shame. Shame is when you feel awful about yourself because you did or said something and you can’t stop beating up on yourself for days.
I thought about the tapping session that I experienced and asked myself, “Whose energy is it?” It was like a light bulb went off and I finally got it. It became clear to me that I have carried deep shame from my mother probably all of my life. My mother was an alcoholic and because of her illness my emotional needs weren’t met. She often ignored me and disappeared for days at a time. I didn’t know if she was dead or alive and I was terrified. I watched her try to kill herself by taking pills when she was drunk. What Spirit revealed to me was that I carried deep shame inside of me because I wanted and needed my mother’s attention and love. Of course, as a little girl, I wanted her attention and love and didn’t want to be ignored. I was still looking for that love from my mother all these years later and being in a group with other women triggered me.
With this new insight of why I struggled all my life with wanting attention and love from other women and not feeling like I would ever get it, I was able to love and be compassionate with myself. I was able to release and transform the shame by acknowledging it and feeling it. The truth will set us free. The EFT exercise released the energy blockage of shame that I carried all my life and blocked me from receiving the love that I so needed from my mother, myself and the women in my life.
Is there an area in your life where you have “energy blockages” and have carried shame or any other negative emotion that needs to be transformed and released? I encourage you to ask yourself, “Whose energy is it?”
As I write this blog today, my heart is overflowing with gratitude and joy (and tears.) My daughter, Mary, and her partner Glen adopted a little boy named Herbie, who is 7 years old. They waited several years for him to arrive and it is truly a match made in heaven and meant to be. We often have to wait and be patient for our dreams to come true.
Here is what Mary wrote on Face book:
“We adopted him! Amazingly and synchronisticly his name is HERBIE!! It was meant to be because we are HERB farmers and a HERBALIST!! He is 7 years old, and was in foster care for the last 4 years. He is an amazing kid and we are so lucky to have him. We have had a great experience being foster parents for DCYF. I highly encourage anyone who CAN to foster a child who needs a home.”
Of course, I wanted to be a part of the celebration and adoption, but being 5,000 miles away made it impossible for me to be there. I asked Mary to Facetime me from the courthouse when it was all over, which she did. My grandson, Josh, called me and I was there with them on Facetime to congratulate them. My son, Brian, brought balloons and flowers for his sister. Oh, what a happy day as he proudly walked through the court house with flowers and balloons.
When the adoption was complete and they were still in the courtroom, they asked the DCYF worker to take a picture of the family. My grandson, Josh, was holding up his phone with my picture while I was on Face Time with them. To my delight, Josh said, “Grandma, your presence was definitely felt.” Here is the picture:
Herbie was given a party to celebrate his adoption. He wrote a speech and stood up in front of family and friends. As you can imagine, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house. Here is his speech:
“Thank you all for coming today. This is a special day for me. I have been waiting a long time to be adopted. It makes me happy to have a forever home. I am happy to have a new Mom and Dad. I am happy to have 5 new uncles. I am happy to have 6 new cousins. I am happy to have a new name. I am happy to have a new room. I am happy to have a new home. I am happy to ride my bike every day.”
Several months ago, I sent Herbie a stuffed seal that he fell in love with. In fact, he brought it to the court room with him today. He said to Mary when the adoption procedures were complete, “Sealo is happy that he doesn’t have to leave and that he has a permanent home.” Oh my God, the tears really flowed when she shared it with me. Here is a picture of Herbie and Sealo:
Even though it was difficult not being able to be there physically, I was there in spirit and felt such gratitude for modern technology and Facetime. This is what Holy Spirit said as I prayed about not being able to be there with them in person on this special occasion.
“Breathe in my Spirit. I know it is difficult not being able to be there for your daughter’s special day. Know that she feels your essence and presence and knows more than ever before that you are with her. She remembered to call you because she wanted you to be there. It was important to her as it was to you as her mother. So feel your feelings of sadness that you are unable to be there physically, but rejoice in your ONENESS and the relationship you have with your daughter, Mary. You are both where you need to be in your lives and you both are following your hearts. There is a special bond between you and your daughter now. Open your heart even more as I shower my blessings on you as mother and daughter.
I so look forward to Mary and Herbie traveling from Rhode Island to attend our wedding in May. It is also the weekend of Mother’s day, which will be Mary’s first Mother’s Day as a new mom and spending it together will be such an amazing gift.
For the past 40 years of my spirtitual journey, I have practiced the concept of “open and closed doors.” When I don’t know if something is God’s will or my will, I pray, “God open or close the door.” It hurts when the door is slammed in my face and I am left wandering in the hallway until the next door opens, especially when it takes a long time for the next door to open. Over the years, I have learned to trust that when a door is closed, there is always something better and more aligned for my highest good.
“Closed doors are a valid part of GUIDANCE. When God closes a door, it’s because there is a better plan. If He closes one door, He’ll open another, according to His timing, not mine. I keep moving in faith, even in the face of closed doors.” Basham 1975
Alan Cohen in his book, “The Grace Factor” discusses grace and GUIDANCE. He writes “Never underestimate the power of grace to find you where you are and take your hand. No situation is so dark, dismal, or disgusting that grace cannot enter and move you to a higher ground. When you stepped outside the gate of the Kingdom, a homing device was implanted in your heart. That device has functioned perfectly, constantly feeding you information about where to turn, when, and how. The fact that you have chosen not to listen to its message has not daunted it from broadcasting impeccable guidance. YOU KNOW ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW WHEN YOU NEED IT.”
Here are a couple of examples in my life of closed doors that turned out for my highest good:
1. A year after my divorce, I met a man and we were engaged to be married. We were together for 2 years. As I look back on it today, I realize that we would not have made it together. God closed the door and I remained single for 15 years before I met Larry. If God hadn’t closed the door, I would not be where I am today. It was the desire of my heart to meet my soulmate and I “waited” in the hallway for 15 years. At times, I felt angry and didn’t understand why it took so long. I tried banging on the door because of my impatience and lack of trust. That didn’t work! I learned many lessons in the hallway about trust, surrender and God’s perfect timing. For me, it is always about TRUST and I am learning to trust that when I am ready, the door will open at the perfect and right timing.
2. During my divorce, I prayed and asked God for guidance whether to sell my house or remortgage it because I couldn’t afford the monthly payment. When I finally made the decision to re-mortgage my house, the peace came. My ex-husband needed to sign the papers because we weren’t divorced yet, which he agreed to do. On the day of the closing, he decided he wasn’t going to sign the papers and there was nothing I could do about it. A week later, to my surprise, I received a letter from the mortgage company informing me that the interest rate had gone down (on its own) because it was an adjustable mortgage. The payment was the same as if I had re-mortgaged. God closed the door through my ex-husband’s last minute refusal to save me money.
I don’t know about you but, as a parent, it is difficult to watch your child suffer when a door is closed, especially if it is something they really wanted. Recently, one of my children applied for his dream job and it looked very promising. When he told me that he didn’t get it, my heart hurt and I felt sad and disappointed for him.
It was important for me to allow him his feelings and process. It was not the time to talk about closed doors and the door closed for his highest good. I needed to be there for him and be compassionate, loving and supportive. I had to wait until he was ready to talk about it without pushing and prying. It is easy to do a spiritual bypass which means to deny your feelings and push them down. I didn’t want that to happen to him.
When I am living in faith, I trust that a Higher Power or the Universe knows what is best for me (and my family and friends) because I don’t know what lies ahead. I am sure we have all had experiences when a door has been closed and it’s only afterward that we understand why.
Are you in the “hallway” now in some area of your life? Learning to wait with grace takes trust, surrendering to “what is” and patience. When we trust that our Higher Power has the perfect plan and timing for us, we will have peace that passes all understanding. I love the statement “God has my back.” Do you agree?
I looked forward to attending the newly formed gathering of inter- generational women to share our journeys and support one another. At the last minute, I was unable to attend. I thought about the discussion questions we were asked to think about and how I would answer them. “What is your passion and purpose? What do you need to do to realize your dreams? What can you give to others?”
If you have been on the spiritual path for any length of time, you have probably thought about what your passion and purpose is. You still may not know what your passion and purpose is. As I prayed about what my passion and purpose is, I immediately flashed back to a vivid dream that I had years ago when I was paralyzed with fear (7 years) while I was writing my book. When I finally identified that it was fear that kept me stuck from living my dreams, I was able to move forward and finish my book. If I had not come out of denial and worked through my fear, I would not be living on Maui and getting married to a wonderful man. Here is the dream:
“I was climbing up a long staircase that led to heaven. As I arrived at the top of the staircase, I saw a star in the sky and reached out for it. I then became the STAR. A star shines in the dark night to light up the sky. A star led the wise men to the stable where Jesus was born.
After processing this dream many years ago, I realized that my purpose and passion was born and it is “I am a STAR that shines brightly to lead others to the God within.” This truly is my joy and passion.
As I prayed about it today, this is what Holy Spirit said: “Say YES to BE the light and love that I call you to BE today. The world is awakening to the truth that we are all ONE and not separate from God. You never left, God never left you. You are not alone. It is only a dream. You know the truth and will share it with those I send to you. Do not be afraid of your light for it is my light shining through you. There is much darkness in the world that is now coming into the light. Although it looks like things in the world are deteriorating and people are very anxious and confused, it is my plan being played out. There is no need to be afraid because this has been planned by me and is the beginning of a great awakening.”
I have seen first- hand the darkness in people this week and it has been sickening. It is hard to believe the lies, deceit, control, greed and lack of love that I have witnessed in others. Without knowing the light and love of God within, we are doomed to living in the prison of hell which leads to suicide and addictions. The pain and suffering is too much for people to bear.
Heaven is not a place; it is a state of mind. We either live in hell or live in heaven. The choice is ours. We are invited to live heaven on earth. Without the light of God within, there is darkness and despair. We who are awakened and awakening are called to be that light and use our gifts in the service of God. We need one another more than ever to walk this journey.
Are you ready to say YES to God to be instruments of light in the world? Are you ready to believe in yourself and let go of not feeling good enough or smart enough? Are you ready to live your purpose and passion? You have been given gifts to bring to the world and now is the time to say YES and to believe in yourself. The world needs your light.
I have a plaque on my desk that reads:
“You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on the stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your father in heaven.” Matthew 5 14-16
If you don’t know what your passion or purpose is, I can help you find it. If you living in darkness and want help in your awakening, I can help you. If not now, when? Don’t let fear rob you of living your life and your dreams You are the light of the world and the world needs your gifts NOW.
Here is a poem I received from my friend, Kati, right before I was about to send this out. We are all called to BE THE LIGHT and let our light shine.
“Yet ultimately we are alone, making our way home by the candle of the heart. Many times our light will go out. But another light, one held by a stranger or a friend, a book or a song, a blackbird or a wildflower, comes close enough so we can see our path by its light. And in time we realize that the light we have borrowed was always our own” Joan Borysenko
The first time I remember hearing God’s voice guiding me was on the day I bought my God- blouse thirty-five years ago. This is a part of the chapter from my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.”
“I had some time to kill as I waited to pick up the children from school. I spotted the clearance sale sign in the back of the store and quickly walked over to the clothing rack. I had no intention of buying anything, but the blouse jumped out at me. Wow, it’s only ten dollars, I thought to myself. I wanted to forget that my husband was out of work and I couldn’t afford it. As I reluctantly placed it back on the rack, I heard that small, still voice of God say: BUY IT AND I WILL PROVIDE
I pulled out my wallet to see how much money I had in it. I had a ten dollar bill tucked away in the billfold. I wanted to believe it was God, but could I trust myself? In the past, miracles happened when I listened to God. I prayed quietly to myself and listened. My gut was saying – trust God and buy the blouse.
I picked up the children from school and drove directly home. I grabbed the mail from the mailbox as I walked in the house. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the crisp new ten-dollar bill tucked inside the note card. As I read the simple, but profound message written in the card, I started to tremble from head to foot. Oh my God, I shouted as the tears streamed down my cheeks. I frantically searched for a name, but there was no name anywhere. Sprawled across the handwritten note was simply, To Pat, From the Son of a Carpenter God provides, but I didn’t expect it so dramatically and so quickly. I still don’t know who sent the card and money – and probably never will.”
In the story above, I heard the small, still voice of God and followed instructions and almost immediately experienced the miracle of trusting the voice within. I wish it was always that easy and quick.
I said to Larry on Saturday morning, “I am frustrated because I have NOTHING to write about in the blog.” By the time we were done talking and sharing, I had SOMETHING to write about. God is faithful. Here is what happened:
I followed through on several instructions from Holy Spirit this week. Unlike what happened when God provided the money almost instantly for the blouse after I listened, I had a very different experience and opportunity to grow from. I thought I wasn’t attached to the outcome of what I was instructed to do, but I was because I woke up feeling irritable and frustrated.
Spirit showed me my impatience and not trusting in God’s timing. When we don’t see the results immediately or have to wait a long time for what we want and what we think God wants for us, we get discouraged and begin to doubt if we really heard the voice of Spirit in the first place. Has this ever happened to you?
This is the message I heard from the Holy Spirit this morning as I journaled:
“You heard my voice and followed my instructions. That does not mean instant results like you hoped for. Do not doubt my voice and what I instructed you to do. You are not responsible for other people’s actions and their timing. Your job is to listen and hear my voice and then proceed as instructed. My job is to work in people’s hearts. Your ego would like you to doubt yourself and feel discouraged and disappointed. You must let go of what you think is right or wrong. There is no right or wrong, it is all planned in my mind. Be patient with yourself as you learn and practice hearing my voice. I am patient with you and lovingly look upon you. I see your motives and your desire to love and serve, but you must trust my ways and timing.”
It is not easy to DETACH FROM THE OUTCOME when you think you are following the Holy Spirit’s instructions. We want what we want when we want it. I often don’t like to wait on God’s perfect timing. Perhaps this is my control issues rearing its head.
Most of us want instant answers. Sometimes we get them, but often we have to wait. Learning to trust God’s timing is not easy business. Learning to accept that everything is in perfect divine order is what keeps me in peace.
Here is a quote from 12 steps of AA “Acceptance is the answer to all of my prayers. If I cannot accept people, places and things as exactly as they are, I will not have peace.”
Is there an area in your life where you need to DETACH FROM THE OUTCOME and trust in God’s diving timing?
When Larry asked me to marry him 8 weeks ago, he quietly whispered to me, “We don’t have to do it right away.” Doesn’t he know who he is dealing with? After waiting for him to pop the question for almost 3 years of our relationship, I was ready and willing and didn’t want to wait. I have to admit waiting is not my strongest asset! We don’t like stress in our lives and we made an intention that everything would flow with peace, ease and grace. And it has so far! Everything is almost done and it is only February.
I am very happy to say that we are getting married on May 13, 2017. I wanted to be married in May because the month of May has been a very powerful spiritual month for me for many years. May is the month of Mary, the divine feminine. I didn’t know it at the time but May 13th is the 100th anniversary of Our Lady of Fatima’s appearance to the children and it is also Mother’s Day weekend.
We are getting married in a beautiful little Hawaiian church called Keawala’a Congregational Church. It was founded in 1832 and it overlooks the ocean. The pink and white Pulmeria trees that surround the church will be in full bloom to grace the beginning of our life as a married couple. We met with the minister for 2 ½ hours and shared many personal things about our lives and story of how we met. It will be interesting what he shares on the day of our wedding. I have a feeling we may get a few chuckles from the congregation.
When I shared with my daughter, Mary, how excited I was about getting married on Mother’s Day weekend, she said, “I want to come and I will bring Herbie if I can get a cheap flight, we will come.” She immediately opened her computer and, of course, found a great price for the both of them. She booked the flight right then. Can you imagine my joy that my daughter will be walking me down the aisle (tears in my eyes now) and, Herbie, my grandson will be the ring bearer. God is good.
Larry and I are going to Rhode Island to celebrate our marriage with our family and friends on the East Coast in July. It is an expensive and long trip for our families to come here so we will go there. My son, Tim, will officiate a special service at Mary and Glen’s farm as we renew our vows with our family and friends. Mary wants to have a square dance band because she knows how much we love to dance.
Since I don’t have any family members here to help with the wedding plans, my girlfriends have stepped up to the plate and offered all kinds of support and help. Believe me, I am taking them up on their offers. My plan is to make the flower arrangements for the reception to be held at the Dunes Golf Course after the ceremony. Several of my friends are creative and offered to help with the flowers both making them and delivering them on the day of the wedding.
I was surprised when my girlfriend, Kat, asked me, “Would you like a bridal shower? It’s been 50 years since my first marriage so I hadn’t even thought about a shower. At first I said, “No, I don’t want a shower.” She told me her idea and then said, “Think about it, you are getting married… in love…for the rest of your life here on earth. Your journey, your womanhood has brought you to this place in time. It might be an extraordinary sacred ceremony to surround yourself with loving Goddess love and energy. The women you love know much about love, perhaps it would bless you to let us encircle you with wisdom, prayer and love as you prepare to enter into and publicly declare your marriage with your beloved Larry. We could each bring you a pearl (symbol of the Maui sea) of prayer – each prayer linked and knotted to the next leaving your enriched with an exquisite strand of spiritual pearls. Of course, after that explanation I happily said, “Yes, I would love to have a celebration like this.”
If you are inspired to send a prayer to me for our marriage, I would be delighted to receive it and will not read it until the shower when I read the others. My address is 621 Laniolu Pl. Kihei. Hi 96753. The shower is April 7th.
Here is the song Larry and I chose to dance to for our first dance as a married couple:
When You Tell Me That You Love Me – Albert Hammond/John Bettis sung by Uluewhi Guerrero
“I want to call the stars down from the sky. I want to live a day that never dies. I want to change the world only for you. All the impossible, I want to do. I want to hold you close under the sun. I want to kiss your smile and feel the pain. I know what’s beautiful, looking at you. In a world of lies, you are the truth.
Chorus: And my love, every time you touch me I become a hero. I will make you safe, no matter where you are. And bring you everything you ask for, nothing is above me. I am shining like a candle in the dark when you tell me that you love me.
I want to make you see just what I was, show you the loneliness and what it does You walked into my life to stop my tears. Everything is easy now, I have you near. In a world without you, I will always hunger. All I need is your love to make me stronger.
I don’t think either one of us will make it through in one piece. But it will be beautiful as we waltz around the floor together.
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