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You are safe

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I picked this card from a deck of cards from “The Teachings of Abraham” that I received for my birthday.

                                          My Most Important Relationship is With My Source:

There is no relationship of greater importance to achieve than the relationship between you, in your physical body, right here and now, and the Soul/Source/God from which you have come. If you tend to this relationship, first and foremost, you will then and only then have the stable footing to proceed into other relationships. Your relationship with your own body; with money; with your parents, children, grandchildren, and your world will all fall easily into alignment once you tend to this fundamental relationship first.

For the past several months in my daily prayer I have been asking the Holy Spirit for a message and writing it down in my journal. The voice of the Holy Spirit is in all of us and Spirit wants to guide us in everything. Here are some of the messages I received:

  • There is peace within and “knowingness” when you hear my voice. Listen to my voice, which is your voice, the voice of the Holy Spirit.
  • Breathe into my love and presence. You are safe
  • I am leading you in everything and all has already been planned in the mind of God for your highest good. Trust that everything is in perfect and right order.
  • It is my Spirit that has brought you this far and I will continue to do so. Relax, let go, don’t resist anything. There are no mistakes or accidents.
  • You are as close to me in this moment as your breath. I am your breath.
  • Everything happens in my time and there is no need to worry or be concerned. You are on the path right and where you need to be.
  • You are on the fast track of consciousness and much is being revealed to you as you surrender to my will.
  • Your light is shining brighter because you know who you are.
  • You are never alone. We are ONE. I am you and you are me. We are all connected.
  • As you open to receive, your capacity to love and give expands simultaneously.
  • Celebrate your new life for it is real. There is only love.

Some may think that the experience I’m going to share is just a coincidence. I believe it is a “Godincidence” and proof that we are all connected and being guided.

I chuckled out loud as I walked out of my doctor’s office last week. As I was leaving her office, she hugged me and said, “I think of you often. I remember how you ask for what you want at yard sales from your book. I want a hammock.” It just came out of her mouth that she wanted a hammock and I just happened to have one that I wasn’t using. I said, “Well, guess what? I have a hammock and you can have it for free.” She just looked at me in kind of a daze and said, “I would like to pay you for it and would love to come and see it.” I said, “I hope you do because I know this is the work of Spirit.”

When I returned home, I took a picture of the hammock and sent it to her. I told her that I was thinking of putting it on Craigslist since I wasn’t using it.

She texted me immediately and said, “When can I pick it up?” She picked it up a couple of days later and said, “When you sent me the picture, I knew it was the Spirit because it was perfect and just what I wanted. I have been looking for a hammock for my father and haven’t been able to find one with a stand.

I love how Spirit works when we are open to asking and receiving. We truly are all connected. And our most important connection/relationship is with our Source/God/Soul. Are you nurturing your relationship with your Source on a daily basis? And if not, why not?

There is no relationship of greater importance to achieve than the relationship between you, in your physical body, right here and now, and the Soul/Source/God from which you have come. If you tend to this relationship, first and foremost, you will then and only then have the stable footing to proceed into other relationships. Your relationship with your own body; with money; with your parents, children, grandchildren, and your world will all fall easily into alignment once you tend to this fundamental relationship first.

Letting go of my addiction to control

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God certainly knows how to get my attention, especially when I am not aligned with Spirit and fear is present. For example, when I woke up this morning, I felt fear in the pit of my stomach. It really surprised me because as I had shared in last week’s blog, our cruise was magnificent as I EXPANDED my heart to receive more of God’s love. My relationship with Larry had deepened and EXPANDED and our love for one another was stronger than ever. I asked myself, “Why would I be feeling fear now and where is it coming from?” I said a prayer and asked for help. I was determined to not let fear rob me of my joy like I did for so many years and the love that was being offered to me through Larry.

A couple of minutes later when I was about to check my emails, the thought popped into my head that I would love to receive a response from Karen about last week’s blog post “Walls come crashing down.” Karen lives on the East Coast and Karen has never responded to one of our blogs, nor have I had any communication with her in a few years. I had no idea why she popped into my head (other than Spirit answering my prayer and wanting me to pay attention).

I was shocked when I saw Karen’s name in my email box a couple of minutes later. I opened her email and it read “Pat this is beautiful and I am so happy to read about your journey of love. I especially love this part: “I heard the still, small voice of God say to me, “You just have to BE and let go of wanting to control the process and knowing what will happen next. You have surrendered your life to me so now you can sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Smile because Love is all there is and you are safe.”

Since this was in my face, I clearly needed to be reminded of the message Spirit gave me last week. “You need to let go of wanting to control the process and what will happen next.” The fear that I experienced when I woke up was about wanting to be in control. One of the big hurdles in life is when we are stepping into the unknown and not knowing what’s next. We are invited to take a leap of faith and trust.

Author Kute Blackson writes, “The root of misery is control. Control is the master addiction, the hardest one to give up. Control is an illusion, as there is so much in life that we cannot control. When you try to control what you cannot, then suffering is your guaranteed result.”

EXPANSION is about being in the flow and surrendering. Control is about constriction and contraction. I wrote in the blog last week that I was sure that my EXPANSION would be fun and maybe scary. Last week was fun, now the scary part was here and I needed to embrace and love the fearful part of me too. I also knew that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.

I was willing to do whatever I needed to do and use all the tools I had to move through this and not put up my walls again. I didn’t eat over it or stay busy over the fear, but instead allowed myself to go into the pain and feel it all. I breathed through it and allowed what needed to come to come up.


I  spent the day in prayer and reflection uncovering and releasing beliefs that no longer served me. I recently read that 95% of our beliefs are in our subconscious and we are only conscious of 5% of our beliefs. Because of my history of sexual abuse starting at 10 years old with several abusers, I really needed to be still and listen to what my body needed next. As a young girl, I was robbed of my innocence and was now reclaiming it. Through the grace of God, I knew I was EXPANDING into the woman I was created to be and that I wanted to be.

It has been my experience that when we are close to a break-through or about to manifest something big in our lives, our fears will come up and sometimes with a vengeance. It means we are getting closer to what we really want. We cannot give up before the miracle and I wasn’t willing to give up before the miracle.

I asked Spirit what I needed to do and here is what I heard, “Keep doing what you are doing by acknowledging your fear, sharing it with Larry and letting it go. By sharing it with Larry you are bringing it to the light to be healed and transformed. You are being held and healed. Just like a mother holds her baby tenderly and lovingly and assures it that it is safe, you are doing that for your wounded child inside of you. Larry is my gift to you for your expansion and healing and you are a gift for his healing.”

Right before I was to send this out, I received this in my email box from Abraham:

“The hypocrisy around the subject of sexuality is huge. Early on, there were others who were a lot more interested in you satisfying what made them feel good than in satisfying what made you feel good. There were so many things that you felt inclined to go this way, that you were forced to go that way, that at an early age, you made a conscious decision that if it felt good, it was wrong. And if it felt wrong, it was probably right.”

Today, I am surrendering and letting go of my addiction to control. I am sitting back, relaxing and enjoying the ride. I am smiling because Love is all there is and I am safe.

“Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Follow me wholeheartedly, with glad anticipation quickening your pace. Though you don’t know what lies ahead, I know; and that is enough. Some of my richest blessings are just around the bend: out of sight, but nonetheless very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith-not by sight.” Jesus Calling

How about you? Are you willing to surrender and walk by faith to receive the gifts that are waiting for you? Don’t let fear rob you and don’t give up before the miracle.


The walls came crashing down

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I opened my birthday cards and gifts that I received from family and friends on the cruise. Just like a small child, I felt excited to read the cards out loud to Larry and felt so loved and cherished.

For as long as I can remember the scripture passage that has always spoken to my heart is Jeremiah 29 11-14. It is “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”

I received a beautiful plaque from my friend, Mary, with this scripture on it and a crown on the top of it. When I saw the crown, I started to sob. It was like my spirit jumped for joy when it was revealed to me that this has been God’s PLAN for me forever. It was in the mind of God before it manifested in form. I am coming more and more into the truth of who I am as a Divine being and child of God. My friend, Zariah, sent me a birthday card with a crown in it to put on my head.

I have been coming into my “Queen-dom” and what it really means to be a queen for a few years now. I have a cup that Larry serves coffee in for me every morning that reads “I am the Queen.” I asked myself, “What does it mean to be a queen and what are her characteristics?”

  • She leads from and with her HEART with Love
  • She is able to RECEIVE all that is rightfully hers and GIVES from her heart
  • She SERVES with love and kindness wherever she goes as she is led by Spirit
  • She knows who she is as a royal queen and child of God
  • She knows she is ONE with God and her fellow human beings
  • She is FREE to be herself and is not afraid to just BE
  • She is able to FEEL all of her feelings and goes into the pain, rather than running from it
  • Her FAITH is strong and grounded in Spirit as she goes within for her answers
  • She lives in the present MOMENT
  • She has learned to TRUST herself and the process of life
  • She recognizes the BEAUTY in herself and freely compliments others beauty
  • She loves and appreciates herself
  • She lets her light SHINE from within
  • She knows what she wants and is able to ask for it
  • She is in the FLOW and expresses and lives with passion

As a woman, do you know that you are a queen and are royalty? Are you treated like a queen? Can you recognize yourself in the above list? I think the world needs us to come into our feminine “Queen-ship” and to know the truth of who we are as royalty.

In all its beauty and splendor, your crown should be the thing that people experience, appreciate and remember about you.  You want to be identified by your crown and stand out from the world. Wearing your crown means that you don’t think, act or speak like the world. You operate in excellence, overcome great trials and speak with wisdom – all because of your crown and who you are in the Kingdom of God. Wearing your crown is all about  loving the unlovely, being patient with the unknowing, forgiving the ugly, showing kindness to the poor, being compassionate to the brokenhearted, and above all, maintaining your self-control when you are provoked because you represent the Kingdom of God.” Motivation Pearls

I would like to share a little about our cruise together. When I shared in last week’s blog about EXPANSION, I had no idea what it really meant and how it would look and feel.

As I EXPANDED and opened my heart to Larry to love me in a deeper and more intimate way, I allowed him to love me in a way that he had never loved me before. When we have walls up because of our past experiences, we block the energy of love from coming in. I wanted my walls to come down and was ready and willing to experience the expansion. And boy did I ever!

It took time for me to integrate all that happened to us on the cruise because we opened ourselves to receive all that God wanted to give us. For me, it felt like a baptism of Fire/Passion. It felt like I was in an altered state filled with love and gratitude because I realized there is always MORE to receive.

I heard the still, small voice of God say to me, “You just have to BE and let go of wanting to control the process and knowing what will happen next. You have surrendered your life to me so now you can sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Smile because Love is all there is and you are safe.”


WOW! I am so grateful that Spirit led me to change my mind about going on the cruise with Pat for her birthday.  It was a terrific cruise and we had a fabulous time.  Pat has been concentrating on trying to expand her ability to love and be loved. Since she is already such a loving person, I wondered just how she would be able to do that. We spent a lot of time together talking and being present to one another with kindness and love.  I think we have a very special relationship and from my perspective it couldn’t get any better.  

Well, LOVE knows better. As we remained open with an attitude of gratitude, things started to happen and we both started to expand and the feeling of wellness and love was incredible.  Those of you who read our blogs know it is our desire to become the best vessels of love that we can be. I believe my heart is my vessel, and to the extent I open my heart it will be filled with the energy and light of love.

As I witnessed Pat confront some issues that had been major walls in her life for many years, her expansion was incredible . She was able to accept and allow her heart to receive the continuing gift of love. Her heart expanded to overflowing and I was the recipient of that overflowing fountain of love. In turn, or my response to her expansion was that my heart expanded to receive all the love energy and light that was being offered to me. I was able to love her more deeply and give to her in a way that I hadn’t been able to respond before. 

Not only did I feel more connected to Pat, but I felt connected to every soul on the ship. I was aware of how hard everyone worked to make this cruise a wonderful experience for the guests (cabin steward, wait staff, kitchen workers, servers and cooks.) They work long 10 to 12 hour days for little reward.  I was free with compliments and appreciation.

It was fantastic to see their eyes light up when I mentioned what a good job they were doing or how much I appreciated their hard work.  I was very impressed with the quality of the food and the cleanliness of preparation areas and serving stations. I contacted the head chef to compliment him on his entire operation.  He was really happy to talk with me and said, “It is rare that anyone contacts me with positive feedback, most of my calls are people complaining. Your comments give me”wings to fly” and you made my day.” I also contacted the officer in charge of the wait staff to comment positively on how extraordinary his wait staff were.  He was so grateful and impressed that he gave us a bottle of wine of our choice.

This cruise experience has confirmed for me that LOVE is never done giving, all we need to do is be open to it, and our vessels will be filled to overflowing. Remember: “Love in your heart is not put there to stay. Love is not love until you give it away.” The more we give the more we receive. Thanks for taking the time to read our offerings.

I felt guilty and was beating up on myself

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I am “awakening” daily to the truth of who I AM; I AM Love and the presence of God/Divine/Source/Essence in the world. I am a Divine being that comes from Love and is made out of Love. Wow, isn’t that amazing and when I really embrace it and live it, miracles occur everywhere and every day. Do you know that you are Love and the presence of God in the world or do you think you are unworthy, not perfect or not good enough to even consider that?

As I awaken to the Spirit within, I am being shown more clearly how I have lived most of my life believing that I am separate from God and God is outside of me, up in the sky somewhere. I had to be a good girl, be perfect to be loved and get to heaven.

I am being shown how and where my ego has been playing in my life, in spite of wanting to live my life for God and to do God’s will. The ego wants to distract me from knowing the truth of the God within and myself as a child of God. It wants to rob me of my peace. Every thought that is not of God is of the ego. The ego is fear in every form.  What I am learning is that the ego is not real and it is an illusion. All that is real is LOVE.

Do you recognize how your ego shows up on a daily basis? Here are some of the behaviors and feelings that I have discovered within myself when my ego is running the show. Ego is often sneaky and doesn’t want to be recognized. It loses its power when we identify it.

When I am or feel:


*Comparing myself to others

*Competing with others

*People pleasing

*Unable to ask for help and receive

*Unable to accept “what is”

*Blaming others for my problems

*Wanting to be right and have the last word in a conversation

*Wanting to be perfect and look good

*Wanting to do everything perfectly  

*Wanting to intimidate or manipulate others

*Wanting to judge others
*Wanting to be the BEST

*Wanting to fix others & f eel responsible for other’s happiness and well-being

*Wanting to control others 

*Wanting to run the show 

*Wanting to be somewhere else rather than where I am

*Feeling less than or better than

*Feeling not good enough, unworthy and not deserving

*Feeling fearful, guilty or shame

*Feeling like a victim

*Feeling stupid

*Showing off

*Being unable to forgive and holding a grudge

*Drama in my life 

*Addicted to a substance or a process like work, busyness, shopping or gambling

*Taking things personally, being overly sensitive and feelings easily hurt

*Worrying and obsessing about a person or situation

Recently, I felt jealous about something and I didn’t like it at all. It had been a long time since jealousy had reared its head. I started to beat up on myself and felt shameful and embarrassed because it seemed so ridiculous to me that I was feeling jealous. When I brought it to my prayer and asked Spirit what was going on, this is what I heard from Spirit.

You must not make a big deal out of this. Love is all there is and all that is real. The more you know that love is all there is, the less bothered you will be when the ego thought system shows up in your life. Learn to smile at it when you recognize it and it will mean nothing because it’s only a dream and not real. LOVE EVERYTHING. You always have a CHOICE to choose love or fear. Choose LOVE. As you identify the ego and its patterns in your life and you release it and choose love, your light shines brighter in the world.

Beating up on yourself and feeling guilty or shameful is being unloving toward yourself. Your ego wants to rob you of your peace and knows exactly how to do it and where to go. I want you to befriend your ego rather than trying to beat it out of you. I want you to love all of you because you are love and as you learn to love yourself, you are loving your brother and loving me because we are all One.”

How do you get the ego out of the way and create miracles in your own life? Know that the ego is not you.  You are that which is observing your ego. Don’t fight against the ego and the emotions you are feeling.  Experience them.  Let them run their course.

Many years ago, I learned to invite jealousy and all my feelings in for a cup of tea. I need to remember to do that again. How about you? Are you choosing Love and loving yourself? Are you experiencing miracles in your life?


The longer I travel this journey of life, the more I’m finding out about myself.  In the past, I’ve shared how difficult it is for me to accept compliments and positive attention from others.  The other day Pat and I were talking about reasons why it’s difficult to receive compliments and positive attention. 

The thought occurred to me that when I receive a compliment or receive positive feedback from another. I act like a turtle. You know how a turtle often presents itself dozing on a rock near a pond or around a shoreline with it’s head out enjoying the sun. Then as you approach the turtle it immediately pulls its head in for protection.  I’m becoming aware that is what I do when someone offers me a compliment or responds to something I’ve done in a positive manner.  

I pull back to protect myself because I’m afraid you will discover the real me, not the one you admire. I often think that if you understood what I deal with to try to become that person that you admire, you would have never offered me a compliment. If you could see the weak person that I think I am and my struggle with my ego and fear, you wouldn’t be giving me compliments. 

Then the ego tries to convince me that the person giving me a compliment really didn’t mean what they said. They are just trying to be nice or perhaps they want something from me. 

You know that I talk and write a lot about love, kindness and forgiveness and people have said to me “That’s easy for you to do.”  I look at them in astonishment, smile and slowly shake my head. Why would it be easier for me to do?   

It seems my mindset in the past has been that I have to say it, write it, and practice it perfectly before I can take credit for it.  LOVE (Spirit) is showing me that this is ridiculous. Trying to be perfect is an old belief that no longer serves me and never has.  When a person gives me a compliment, I am choosing to believe it’s because I have touched them in some way that they appreciate and they want me to know that.

So I hear LOVE saying “Don’t pull your head back in turtle, accept the gift and compliment, live in the moment and enjoy the experience.”  Well, I’m trying and learning to do that, I hope you are too.  Thanks for reading our sharing.

God, I don’t want to do that

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Diane approached me after the Sunday service and said, “Pat, I told you I don’t like to read, but I am reading your book and loving it. The title really fits you. I told my husband that I don’t have faith anywhere near what Pat has, how does she do it?” He said, “Well, you will have to ask her.”
As I thought about her comment, I realized that I have been walking in faith and listening to the small, still voice of God for over 40 years and have had lots of practice with big things as well as little things. I have had many opportunities to exercise my faith muscles. As the saying goes, “If you don’t use it, you lose it!”
In my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith,” I share a story about how I asked Spirit to lead me to someone who really needed to know they were loved.  I was guided to go up to a woman on the beach I didn’t know and tell her “God loves you.”  She broke down and sobbed for quite a while.  What I didn’t know was that she wanted to die and was contemplating suicide at the moment I approached her. 
Many people have asked me, “How do you know it is the voice of Spirit and not just your own voice? How can you trust it is God speaking to you and not your ego?”  It truly is a matter of TRUST and PRACTICE when I am guided to do something.  I am learning to recognize when it is my ego and old patterns that are playing in my mind. Ego disrupts my peace of mind and Spirit brings me peace. An old ego pattern for me is when I make up a story in my mind about a person or situation that is not true. It is also called mind-reading.
I have had too many experiences when I have listened to the voice of Spirit and experienced miracles unfold. Some call it coincidences, but I call it “Godincidences.” 
My heart is open and I am willing to follow where I am being led.  I listen, step out in faith and trust that I am being GUIDED. It’s like I “show up” and allow the plan to unfold in the perfect way and perfect time. I wouldn’t be living in Maui if I hadn’t listened to the Voice within and followed my heart. 
I trust that if I am off track, Spirit will guide me back to where I need to be. As I look back over the years, I admit it has not always been easy because my ego got in the way. I worried about what others would think of me and think I was crazy.  I wonder how many opportunities I missed out on because of fear and pride. How about you?
Today, when I hear the voice of Spirit guiding me to do something, I listen because I have learned to trust it and I know it won’t  go away until I do what I am being guided to do. Even if it doesn’t make sense and I don’t understand why I am being guided in a certain direction, I do it anyway. I have learned to not RESIST when I think, “You really don’t want me to do that, do you?”
For example, Spirit provided me with a very nice radio and CD player FREE because I listened and did what I heard Spirit guiding me to do.  Our CD player broke a couple of weeks ago and we hadn’t replaced it yet.
My appointment was scheduled for 1:00 p.m. last Tuesday.  I had a couple of things that I wanted to do before my appointment and I was running late. I wasn’t sure which one to do first, since they were both in different directions.  I asked Spirit to guide me and was led to go to my friend Gail’s house before my appointment. I was surprised when I arrived at Gail’s house and she wasn’t home. I now had 40 minutes to kill before my appointment at 1:00 p.m. and the errand was on the other side of town. I wondered, “Did I really hear Spirit direct me to go to Gail’s house since she wasn’t home?”
I didn’t complain, but trusted I was being guided, although it didn’t make sense because I had to come back to the same location for my appointment.  I decided to do my other errand and drove to the Rainbow Attic – my favorite consignment store to drop off some things to sell. 
As I was about to leave, I noticed another customer walk in with a bag full of stuff and a CD player. My intuition told me to stop and wait to see if Rainbow Attic was going to take the CD player because they don’t always take electronics.  
Sure enough, the woman had the CD player in her hand as we both were walking out of the store together. I asked her if she wanted to sell it to me and she said, “I was only going to bring it to the Goodwill, you can have it. Aloha. ”   I thanked her and said, “I love how Spirit works on this island.”
I now understood the timing of it all and that if Gail had been home, I would not have been at the Rainbow Attic at the exact time I needed to be there for this to happen. I arrived home with a NEW CD player and Larry and I can now practice our dancing again.  God is so good and His timing is perfect!   
Another example of when I was guided happened a couple of weeks ago when I was taking my walk. I heard Spirit say to call an old friend of mine that I hadn’t spoken to in a few years. When I was done with my walk, I found a nice shady spot to sit and call her.
After catching up on how we both were doing she said, “Patti I can’t believe you called now because just yesterday I found a letter that you had written me many years ago in a drawer that I was cleaning out. The thought briefly went through my mind – Patti is busy now, she probably doesn’t love me anymore. It didn’t stay long because I knew it wasn’t true. Here you are calling me and letting me know how much you love me right when I needed it the most.”
I am grateful that I have learned to listen and trust the small, still voice of God within (also called intuition). I encourage you to “go within” and listen to the Voice of the Spirit that wants to give you guidance in every area of your life.  Larry will be back writing next week.

Enough is Enough!

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As I took my walk this morning, I thought about my relationship with Larry and how grateful and FREE I feel because of the way our relationship has evolved over the last 2 ½ years as a couple. I love how we DO or shall I say LIVE our relationship.

I feel FREE to be ME; free to say yes or no, free to set boundaries, free to do my own thing, free to ask for what I want, free to play, free to share my feelings, free to be vulnerable, free to change my mind and free to love him the way I want to love him.

Being in a “codependent “relationship for 30 years with my ex-husband and single for 15 years, I felt some concern about the thought of a new love relationship and what it would look like. It had taken me so many years to find myself and love myself that I didn’t want to lose myself.

As I thought about my relationship with Larry, the word that stood out for me was how we RESPECT one another. We give each other “space” to do what is right for ourselves trusting we know what we need to do for ourselves.

“RESPECT means valuing each other’s points of views even if we disagree with it. It means being open to being wrong. It means accepting people as they are. It means not dumping on someone because you’re having a bad day. It means being polite and kind always, because being kind to people is not negotiable. It means not dissing people because they’re different from you. It means not gossiping about people or spreading lies.” Urban Dictionary

Whether it is in a partnership, marriage, friendship, or parent-child relationship, RESPECT is crucial as the foundation.  I may not agree with someone’s actions and may even be concerned that it is not healthy for them, but I am learning to TRUST that they are doing the best they can and they will learn what they need to learn in their own time and way.

Who am I to judge another person’s actions and think I know what’s best for them or that I am right and they are wrong?  I remind myself that if I had the same experiences as they had, I would be doing the same thing.

I thought I had the answers for my ex-husband for many years. If he just did it this way or better yet MY WAY, he would be fine. I realize today that I didn’t want to look at myself and what needed changing in me so it was easier to focus on him.

It didn’t work. It never works trying to control someone, especially someone I love. That is not to say, I don’t give my opinion WHEN ASKED.  I give my opinion and then let it go and let it be. I am practicing keeping my mouth shut when I want to get into someone else’s business. It is not always easy and I don’t always do it right, but I am more aware that it is almost always none of my business.

Praying for a loved one and sending them love and light is what I do to keep myself peaceful and not worry and obsess about them. It is like I am saying to the person, “I trust and respect you. I know you will do what is right for you. I will support you and I am here if you need me.” I remind myself to be patient and that it may not be in MY TIME or my way.


I recently asked myself, “Can I respect others if I don’t respect myself?”  I don’t think so. I thought about the qualities I see in myself that I admire and respect.  I see my compassion, kindness, honesty, trustworthiness, flexibility, generosity and my ability to give and receive love.

There was a time in my life when I couldn’t admit to myself that I had these qualities. It is probably because I couldn’t express them perfectly.  I had to get to a place where I understood that I didn’t have to be perfect in order to admit I had these qualities. Perfectionism is something I have struggled with for most of my life.

For years, my self-confidence and self- respect came from what people said about me and was ego driven.  Of course, living like that is like living on an emotional roller coaster, sometimes up, sometimes down, mostly all over the place depending on who I was spending time with.

In time I began to realize it isn’t important what people think or say about me. What is important is what I say about me and what I believe about myself.

Once I began to take responsibility for my life and actions and was able to celebrate some of my decisions and forgive others and myself, I realized I had some good qualities that I could claim as my own even though I wasn’t living them perfectly all of the time.  Over the years I have come to nurture and respect those qualities and when I see them in others, I know that I also have them.

I was thinking about how I have given my power and respect away in the past.  One way is when I allow friends or family to take advantage of me, guilt me or manipulate me, especially in the name of love,  Another way would be to allow others to talk to me disrespectfully (yelling, swearing, name calling, bullying, silent treatment etc.)

I have learned that I teach people how to treat me. When I don’t set healthy boundaries and finally say “enough is enough” to inappropriate behaviors, I continue to allow myself to be disrespected. So when I allow others to treat me this way, I am not respecting myself. It must start with me.

I know how difficult and painful it is to set boundaries. At times in my life, I’ve had to draw the line and inform those who, from my perspective were treating me with disrespect. I’ve had to inform them that I would not accept that kind of behavior. Often it resulted in a lost friendship. I see that as a choice of either losing a relationship or losing myself. Really, if we lose ourselves, what do we have left to share?

It takes courage to say “enough is enough” when we feel disrespected by another’s behavior and actions.  As I have learned to respect myself, I expect to be treated with love and kindness, just as I choose to treat others.

My prayer would be that you love and respect yourself enough to not allow anyone to take that away from you.

Larry said, “YES”

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What is most important to me is to be conscious of God’s will in my life, and there is peace in my heart when I am.  There are times when I need to discern what God’s will is for me and I do that through prayer and meditation.

It can be confusing and frustrating when I don’t know what to do next and have to wait for guidance.  Like most of us, I don’t like to wait, and I am often impatient.  Eventually, the guidance I am seeking comes and  shows up in many different ways: through a dream, another person, reading something in a book, seeing something on a billboard or a license plate, or just a deep knowing about what I need to do next in my life.

As Spirit guides me and I know what my next step is, I must be willing to take action and follow my heart, even when my head says, NO WAY.  I shared a few weeks ago that I wanted to celebrate my 70th birthday in a special way and go on a cruise, but Larry decided he didn’t want to go.

Through the grace of God, I felt peaceful and had surrendered not going on a cruise for my birthday. I had accepted that it wasn’t God’s will and was able to let it go. Through a series of unrelated events and emails that I received after writing the blog, I started to think about it again.

I felt conflicted and went within to ask myself some questions, “Am I being selfish and wanting my own way? Is this desire to celebrate my birthday on a cruise from God? Am I making a big deal out of this that will create problems for Larry and me? Am I denying myself something that I really want and that is important to me?”

When I shared my struggle with my friend, Kati, she asked me, “What do you really want to do for your birthday?” I said, “I don’t know.”  At that point, I really didn’t know what I wanted because I had accepted that I wasn’t going and had let it go.

That night when I went to bed, I asked God for a dream to help me discern God’s will. I did receive a dream and worked with it in the morning. It was clear that I really did want to go on a cruise and that I wasn’t being honest with myself or Larry.

How often in my life did I stay stuck (and didn’t get what I wanted) because I said I didn’t know what I wanted? It was probably easier to not speak up because I didn’t want to rock the boat.  I also wouldn’t be disappointed if I just denied my needs and desires and kept my mouth shut.  This clearly doesn’t work for me anymore.

Once I admitted that this is what I really wanted to do for my birthday, I made the decision to go on the cruise by myself if Larry still didn’t want to go. I trusted that the money would show up as it had so many times in the past when God led me to step out in faith. I was letting my heart lead me and not my head with all the reasons it wouldn’t work and I couldn’t go.

I contacted Norwegian Cruise Line again to discuss the Hawaiian island cruise.  To my delight and surprise, the agent informed me that there was a significant ($1,300) discount for people who lived in Hawaii. I could afford this cruise if I went alone or if Larry joined me.

When Larry came home that afternoon, I shared with him what was going on and the dream I had worked with. I said, “This is what I really want to do for my birthday. I would love for you to join me, but I am fine going by myself if you choose not to go with me”.

When we trust God and follow our hearts, all things work for the good and there is peace in our hearts. I am grateful to be living in God’s perfect will for me.


Being in a love relationship is so much more than it seems at “first sight.”  You know how it goes. You meet someone and are attracted to each another. You spend a lot of time together getting to know each other. You realize that you are very compatible and then “BANG” you decide to become a couple in a committed relationship and then live happily ever after.

Well, you may live happily ever after and you may not.  My experience with failed relationships has taught me that it requires a lot of work especially on my part.  I am continuously finding opportunities to change, grow, and learn and not to RESIST WHAT IS.

Life and relationships are so much about CHOICES.

  • How do I know which choice will be the best?
  • Will the choice I make be better for me or for my partner?
  • Will the choice I make be better for our relationship?
  • Am I being selfish if I make the choice that is best for me?
  • Am I being true to myself with the choice I am making?

Of course, being in a relationship is not always about “ME.”  Sometimes, it’s about US and doing things I may not want to do. It could be an opportunity to be understanding to the needs of my partner.

The latest opportunity for me in our relationship has been when Pat wanted to take a cruise to celebrate her birthday.  My initial response was, “I really don’t want to do that cruise since I have been on the Hawaiian Island cruise before and didn’t see the value staying in Maui for a day and a half on a ship when I live here.”

Initially I said, “If you really want me to go I will go with you.”   As I thought more about it, I said, “No, I really don’t want to go.”  She understood and affirmed me for saying no, which has been difficult for me in the past. She didn’t want me to go if I didn’t really want to so she tried to figure out a way to go by herself, but found that was too expensive.

I was relieved and thought the issue was closed.  I guess it wasn’t because a week later she decided to go by herself, regardless of the expense. She invited me to join her, but said she would go either way.

I knew then that this was really important to her and I didn’t want her to go alone.  So I changed my mind and agreed to go on the cruise with her.  I am CHOOSING to see this as an opportunity to make a loving choice for Pat and have a fun time together, regardless of where the cruise is going. I realized how happy I am to have her in my life to experience these adventures together.

Since she is really excited about the cruise and it brings her much joy, I agreed to go even though I am not as enthusiastic as she is, I am happy to accompany her and will be positive and supportive and look forward to having a great time with her.

Being in a relationship is like a dance. When you are dancing and moving to the beat and rhythm of the music and you’re in sync with one another, it’s a wonderful experience.   I think being in a relationship is about trying to incorporate the beat and rhythm of each other’s personalities, perspectives, wishes and desires. When we accomplish this through love, compassion, generosity and flexibility, it becomes a wonderful experience.

I hope in your relationship you have found the beat and rhythm that continues to make it a wonderful experience.

I wanted it NOW and didn’t want to wait

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Many of the stories I share with you about how Spirit works in my life have deep spiritual meaning and transformation. It is not only the deeper experiences that God shows up, but it is in the smallest details of our lives. What happened this week is an example of how God guides and provides for all of my needs.

I went to the beach with my girlfriend and we floated in the ocean on her new floats that she had just purchased from Targets.  We returned to our chairs to relax and chat.  She turned to me and said, “Have you ever tried Maui Jim sunglasses?”  I said, “No, I never even heard of them, may I please try them on?”

After I tried the sunglasses on, I was hooked and couldn’t believe how much more beautiful everything looked, especially the blue and turquoise color of the ocean.  I didn’t want to take them off and, of course, I now wanted my own pair of Maui Jim sunglasses. I couldn’t believe that I had never heard of them, probably because they were out of my budget. They started at $200 and went up from there.

When I arrived home, I checked out Craig’s List, but to my dismay, nothing showed up. The next day my intuition guided me to check Craig’s List again and up pops several Maui Jim sunglasses for sale. I emailed some of the people and left my phone number and asked them to call me.

A woman called me back and said, “I have brand new Maui Jim sunglasses that were given to me as a gift, but they don’t fit me and I am selling them for $130 dollars.”   She lived in the area and we decided to meet the next morning. I decided that I would offer her $100 dollars if I liked them. They were brand new, fit well and looked nice on me. When I asked her if she would take $100, she said, “No, but I will take $125.  I said, “Thank you” and drove away.

There is a Maui Jim Sunglass retail store that is 45 minutes away from us.  Larry said he would go with me on Monday morning so I could try on the sunglasses to see what I liked. He also offered to buy them for me for a birthday present.  Of course, the price would not be Craig’s list prices. As I do about everything, I prayed and asked God to guide me. I didn’t want him to pay full price for Maui Jim sunglasses if he didn’t have to.

Right before we left to drive to the sunglass store, I decided to check Craig’s List once more. To my delight and surprise, there was a new pair of Maui Jim sunglasses that had just been posted and they were $55. I was excited and texted Michael immediately and told him I was interested. He also lived about a mile away. Larry and I decided not to drive to the store, but to wait to see if I liked the pair Michael was selling.

I really wanted these sunglasses and felt like a kid who wanted a new toy and I didn’t want to wait.  You know when you want what you want when you want it and you want it NOW.  Have you ever experienced that kind of obsessing? I kept letting go and surrendering my will to God.

Michael didn’t return my text right away so I had to wait and trust. Several hours later, he texted me and said, “You can come over to see the sunglasses when I return home from work today.” I was thrilled that they weren’t already sold.

Before leaving to go and see the sunglasses. I remembered that I had a silk sunglass case that someone had given me a few years ago that I had never used.  I wasn’t even sure I still had it or where it was. I checked the basket by my door that has miscellaneous things in it and sure enough, it was there.

As soon as I tried on the sunglasses, I knew they were mine. There wasn’t a scratch on them and they fit perfectly. To top it off, they had my favorite color turquoise on the inside of the frame. He didn’t have the case to go with them, BUT I DID. I had the Maui Jim Sunglass case that all Maui Jim Sunglasses come in. God knew 2 years ago that I would need it now.  God is good and His timing is perfect. All we need to do is trust and surrender.


I have been reading Eckhart Tolle’s “THE POWER OF NOW” in which he suggests that an enlightened way to live our lives is to live in the moment, not the past or the future but to become aware and conscious of the present moment. 

I have been attempting to adapt that philosophy to my life, with various amounts of success.  When I’m able to concentrate on and live in the moment I’m not stressing or worrying about the past or the future.  I’m finding when I am conscious and aware of the moment, I feel that I am not alone. There is an energy and power that makes each moment O.K.  I don’t have to be afraid, stressed out or feel less than. All I have to do is to be open and allow myself to be loved in that moment. 

For example, last Friday I received a certified letter from a U.S. Labor Department lawyer.  The letter had a lot of complicated lawyer talk that quite frankly, I didn’t understand.  It was about a pension I receive and it had the word “terminate” in it.  There was a contact number but it was Friday afternoon in Maui so their offices were closed on the East Coast.   

This experience gave me a perfect opportunity to practice living in the moment.  I had a choice; to spend the weekend worrying about the future or stress out about possibly losing my pension.  This would have significantly changed my retirement situation. My other choice was to live in the moment and not ruin my weekend.   

In the past, receiving a letter of this magnitude and not being able to clarify it immediately would have stressed me out and I would have worried about it all weekend. Instead, I chose the second option and tried very diligently to live and enjoy each moment. 

Ego tried very hard to get me to focus on the possibility of losing my pension.. I was surprised how easy it was to live in the moment once I made the decision to not go there and to enjoy my weekend.  As a matter of fact, I almost forget to call on Monday morning since I wasn’t focusing on it. 

I was quite surprised on Monday morning when I called the lawyer and she answered the phone. She explained in great detail that the company which I have my pension with had moved to Malaysia and the labor department was assigning a new managing company. She reassured me that I would not be losing my pension. 

I could have spent the whole weekend worrying and stressing out about something that wasn’t even going to happen. Instead, because of what I’m learning and practicing, I had a wonderful opportunity to live in the moment and let go of stress, worry and the future. It’s my hope my sharing will be beneficial to those who read it. Thanks for your time.




Larry was upset and felt betrayed

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In Alan Cohen’s book, “Wisdom of the Heart” he writes, “It’s my own love I want, so why confuse it with seeking it from another? When you honor and nurture yourself, your happiness will proceed from within you and you won’t have to depend on another for it. As you give yourself more love, your relationships will change and reflect yourself-honoring. Another person isn’t the source of your love, you are. True love is an inside job.”

I bought a book at a yard sale called, “Madly in Love with ME” by Christine Arylo.  I liked the title and was familiar with the author. In each of the chapters, she gives you a list of questions to help you discover how well you are doing on your self-love journey.  I scored pretty high and was happy to see that I am on the right path of giving myself self-love.

I am grateful that Spirit always brings to light what is hidden in me so it can be transformed.  It could be old beliefs that no longer serve me and will hurt and hinder by spiritual growth.

One of the ways I give myself self-love is to pay attention to my moods, attitudes and feelings. When something is “stirring inside” and just doesn’t feel right, I pray and meditate and ask God for guidance. As I wait and listen, it always becomes clear what needs to change. I often discover it is my ego wanting to cause trouble and unrest in my soul. I know that once the ego is identified, it loses its power. It always helps me to talk about it with someone I love and trust.

As I’ve mentioned in past blogs, being in a relationship will often bring to light “my stuff”.  I was given several opportunities to see my stuff this week. Although it always surprises me when I discover an old belief that is still alive and well in my unconscious, I am grateful how quickly I am able to recognize it.

Rather than beat up on myself like I did for so many years when I discovered something about myself  or an old belief that was still playing in my head that I didn’t like, I have learned to be gentle, kind and loving toward myself.  I forgave myself and didn’t judge myself.  It really feels good when I give myself the unconditional love that I would give to one of my children or to a friend when they were hurting.

Without going into all of the details, Spirit revealed to me how I was giving my power away in a couple of areas of my life. Looking outside for validation and approval is always harmful because it is never enough. It is my own validation and approval that I am seeking.  Here is what was revealed by Spirit:

  • It is not always about me or something I have done wrong when someone doesn’t respond in the way I would like them to. For example, if I am ignored or someone doesn’t answer an email or phone call, it often has nothing to do with me. In other words, “Don’t take things personal.”
  • I was looking to Larry to validate my “dancing skills” (giving my power away) Instead, I am validating my own skills and they are “good enough.”
  • I don’t have to BE the best – I just have to DO my best and trust that is enough.

When I changed my beliefs and gave myself the validation and love that I needed, everything shifted. It didn’t matter what Larry thought about my dancing, it was what I thought that was important. And the best part was that my dancing improved.


The other day I offered a friend the gift of my time. My friend declined and we agreed that perhaps another time would be more convenient. Later that day Pat asked me, “How do you feel about your friend declining your gift?”  I replied, “I’m fine with the decision my friend made not to accept my offer.  Actually, I feel happy that our friendship is such that my friend feels comfortable to refuse a visit and knows there will be no ill feelings on my part.”

I proceeded to share with Pat an experience I had many years ago that taught me a very important lesson about giving with “no strings attached.” Pat asked me to share this story in the blog.  I was reluctant to do so at first since I am a very private person and don’t like to bring attention to myself.  Pat  suggested to me that the lessons I learned in this experience could be beneficial to others, so here it is. 

I worked in a soup kitchen in Hartford, CT. 30 years ago one day a week. We provided and cooked meals for around 100 people.  One evening in February on a snowy subzero night, I noticed one of the men had come into the building with just a light sweater on.  He was wet, shivering and looked like he was on his last legs.  I couldn’t believe he was out in these winter elements without a coat or jacket.   

I had worn my favorite winter parka which I loved because it was the warmest parka I had ever owned.  After noticing this man I just couldn’t let him to go out again at night without a jacket, so I gave him my winter parka.  He was very thankful and appreciative.   

About a half hour later, I saw this man wearing an old ratty jacket and the parka I had given him was gone.  I couldn’t believe it! I felt terrible and betrayed. I thought, “What’s the matter with him? Is he crazy? I gave my beautiful new parka away for nothing.”   

From my prospective, he had traded it and made a very poor bargain. 

Later in the evening while I was thinking about this experience, I asked myself some serious questions about my giving practices. 

  • Did I not give this person a gift?  
  • Did it have strings attached?
  • Do I give gifts with expectations?
  • Was he to use my gift according to my wishes and ideas?  
  • If I “gave” him the parka then he could do what he wanted to do with it.
  • It is no longer mine, it’s gone, out of my life. 

 One of the gifts I received was that I was able to be compassionate, generous and loving to a person I didn’t even know and give him something that was very important to me to make his life a little better.   

The other lesson I learned and haven’t forgotten 30 years later is that when I give a gift, there are no expectations or strings attached.  My joy is in the giving and you receiving. Thank you for taking the time to read our blog, 


It was so easy to backslide

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Getting back into my “LIFE” after 2 weeks of being away takes some doing, or shall I say some BEING. I am so grateful to be home to paradise and to my sweetheart, Larry.  Before I left to visit my family on the mainland, my INTENTION was that my trip would flow with peace, ease and grace and that I would get into the FLOW of activities immediately. I didn’t want to give into “jet lag” with traveling 5000 miles across the ocean and being too tired to spend time with my family. My prayer was answered because I felt great and didn’t waste any time getting into things. I visited my son, daughter-in-law and new grandson in Connecticut and then went kayaking with my children and grandchildren the next day.

I had a wonderful visit with my family and girlfriends. My 4 children attended the annual family reunion at my daughter, Mary’s, farm and my son, Tim commented, “This was the best one yet” and I agreed.  I held my new grandson, River, for the first time and what a blessing that was. I had so much fun with my grandsons: Jarred who will be 2 years old, Zach who will be 25 and Josh who is 20.

It was a busy time and the 2 weeks flew by.  Although my life on Maui is much slower and relaxed, I was able to keep up with all of the activities, but was often in bed by 9 p.m. My daughter, Mary, and I gave a retreat for 20 women at her farm. It was a powerful day of healing and transformation. We look forward to giving another one next year. We also celebrated the grand opening of “The Sage Clinic” (naturopathic clinic) which was started by Mary and Naturopath Dr. John McGonagle.

When I returned home to Maui a few days ago, I wanted to “jump back into my life” and not “waste“ any time.  There was so much I wanted to do; answer emails, get pictures developed, call friends, follow-up with women on the retreat, write thank-you notes, write blog, unpack suitcase and on and on.  I quickly recognized that it didn’t take me long to get back into my “DOING” mode. Perhaps I feel more in control and more powerful when I am in the DOING mode and have a long list of things to accomplish. Of course, there is nothing wrong with doing, but FIRST THINGS FIRST.

As I prayed about what “TO DO” next, I heard God say, “I want you to relax and just BE.”  I asked myself, “Did I think BEING was just wasting precious time?”  Time is a gift God has given us and it is up to us to do what is best for ourselves.  By the grace of God and my willingness to listen to Spirit, I was able to relax and take care of myself. I took several naps, sat outside and enjoyed the breeze, flowers, ocean and the mountains.

You see, my body was clearly very tired from the schedule of the last 2 weeks and being up for 24 hours when I traveled back home. But my mind and perhaps ego was saying something different. My mind said, “You need to get things done first before you can relax.” I realized this was an old belief that no longer served me.  I remember when my children were teenagers and clearly capable of taking care of themselves. I wasn’t able to relax until everybody was taken care of. Not knowing any better, I put myself last.

If I want peace (which has been my daily INTENTION for many years), then I must pay attention to my body, mind and Spirit and give it the love it needs. I choose to live in the moment, follow my heart and trust that I am being led and that everything is in perfect and right order.


I have been reading Michael Singer’s book, “The Surrender Experiment” and Eckhart Tolle’s, “Stillness Speaks.”  In both books the authors encourage their readers to learn to accept whatever comes into their lives and not resist.  


My understanding of what they’re saying is that there is a Higher Power available to us and we can be helped by this Higher Power with any of our life’s situations if we just remain open to that possibility.   The experience may not be pleasant and may even be painful. We are encouraged to just accept, no matter what it is.  If we feel that we just can’t accept what’s happening at this time in our lives, then accept that we can’t accept. By accepting, we stay open and we allow the Higher Power to grant us the gift that each life experience is bringing us. By resisting what’s happening, we close ourselves to our Higher Power which prevents us from receiving help.   


As I write this piece, I am being distracted by my neighbor’s gardener who is using his loud leaf blower and weed whacker on one side of my home and on the other side they are doing construction.  I can imagine my Higher Power observing me with a smile as I try to concentrate and accept in this present life situation.


Accepting is a new way of life for me.  The other day I decided to take a nap in the early afternoon. We don’t have air conditioning so we keep our windows and doors open. As I lay there, I became conscious of just how noisy it was outside.  Dogs barking, people mowing lawns, hundreds of birds singing and chirping, etc.  Usually, I would feel frustrated, impatient, angry and get all stirred up and would go into the “poor me, poor me” mode.  


I have been working very hard to learn to be more accepting and just allow things to be the way they are. I decided to accept everything that was going on outside and stay open to possibilities.  Before I knew it, I was able to visualize this commotion outside as a large philharmonic orchestra playing a beautiful symphony.  I know this sounds crazy but it was really cool and before I knew it I was asleep.

I know this is just a small example in accepting, but if I can develop a new habit of staying open to life situations then hopefully, I can become more open to accepting larger situations as they arise.


We’re finding that it seems to be easier to “accept life situations” when we really try to live in the moment and not pay attention to what may happen in the future or what has happened in the past.  Tolle suggests that what is happening in a life situation is not us; we are “who is observing the situation.” We are the one who is conscious of what is happening in that situation.  It seems like when I can remember that I am an observer in the experience, I can stay open better and accept what is happening in the moment.


It’s such a positive experience to allow ourselves the opportunity to be flexible, to not be afraid of change, to be open to new ideas, and to accept the gift of joy and peace that is being offered to us.  I send you the energy of love and light to help you on your journey, please accept my gift.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

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