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I twisted my sacrum – OUCH

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Do you agree that change is inevitable in our journey called life? Change is good, but can really be hard and difficult when we CHOOSE to resist and fight it. When we don’t resist and CHOOSE to surrender to “what is” when something needs to be changed in our lives that isn’t good for us, it can flow with peace, ease and grace. Sometimes we don’t have a choice and sh.. happens.

An important component in the equation is our WILLINGNESS (or readiness) to change, and our openness to ask Spirit for help. When our attitude is positive, it can even be easy breezy. I have experienced both resistance and accepting “what is” and acceptance and surrender feel much better.

I asked myself 2 important questions, (1)Why does it take suffering or a loss of some sort to get my attention whether it be a health issue, an accident, divorce, a death, or a job loss, etc? (2)What makes me WILLING to change after being resistant for so long? I don’t have the answers.

Spirit knows how to get my attention and “awaken” me through physical pain, especially back pain. Can you relate? Just a few days ago, I could hardly walk and when I did I looked like I was 90 years old. I couldn’t get into bed or the car without help and was in a lot of pain when I tried to stand up. Not a pretty picture and it happened in an instant when I stood up. One minute I was absolutely fine and the next, I had to go to bed because of the searing pain in my lower back.

I called my Chiropractor, Dr. Morrison, the next morning and, fortunately, he said, “I have an opening if you can come in right now.” I said, “I will be right there.” Larry and I were there in 15 minutes. When he put me on the table for an adjustment he said, “Your sacrum is twisted.” He straightened it out, prescribed some supplements and said to ice it alternatively with heat for a few days, which I did. The next day I felt 90% better.

Dr Morrison is also an intuitive/energy healer as well as a chiropractor. I explained to him that I had an ongoing health issue since August that I wanted to discuss with him. My gynecologist had prescribed creams, antibiotics, macrobiotics, steroids to deal with the bacterial infection I had. I had also done the holistic route, but nothing cleared it up. I was really at the end of my rope.

Dr. Morrison did muscle testing and diagnosed me with a fungus which could come from many things including mold. He prescribed some supplements and strongly recommended eliminating sugar because sugar just feeds fungus and inflammation.

Talk about someone with resistance. Whenever anyone would suggest eliminating sugar from my diet, I would say, “I don’t want to hear it and I am not ready to do that. I don’t eat a lot of sugar and I really enjoy my sweets, especially chocolate. I only have a little each day.” I couldn’t imagine my life without sugar.

I had some of the classic signs of addiction; denial, minimization, control and rationalization. Here I was faced with a decision about my health. What I had done was not working and if I was to get rid of the fungus, I had to make a CHOICE and be WILLING to eliminate sugar. My daughter, Mary, who is an herbalist suggested I also eliminate dairy and fruit from my diet.

This was huge for me, especially not eating desserts on Thanksgiving. I prayed and asked for help because I knew I didn’t have the strength to do it on my own. I asked to be WILLING to do what I needed to do for my health and not complain about it!

Before we went to dinner on Thanksgiving, I made the CHOICE and decision to abstain from sugar and by the grace of God, I did. I felt great driving home that I was able to abstain from sugar and it did flow with peace, ease and grace. And, I didn’t complain or feel sorry for myself.

It is my belief that there are no mistakes or accidents in life and EVERYTHING happens for a reason.

It is my belief that whatever I attract into my life is for my highest good. If I hadn’t twisted my sacrum (for no apparent reason) and I wasn’t in severe pain, I would not have seen Dr. Morrison and been diagnosed with a fungus. I would still be trying to find the solution to my health problem.

I don’t know what I’m going to do about sugar in the future when the fungus is healed. This is not the first time I have tried to eliminate sugar from my diet. I guess the good news is that I keep trying and trusting God for guidance.

What I do know for sure is that I am taking one day at a time. Just for today, I have eliminated sugar, dairy and fruits from my diet. I will continue to pray for the strength and WILLINGNESS to do God’s will concerning my body, mind and spirit. All I have is today and what I am doing today is ENOUGH.

My heart is filled with gratitude for the way Spirit works in my life and for the willingness to do God’s will.

Is there an area in your life where you are resistant to change and need to surrender to “what is?”

I thought I had “relapsed”

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I have read that the higher our vibration is or how conscious we become, the more our ego will “act out” if you will. Our ego wants to rob us of our peace and keep us believing that we are separate from God and one another. It wants us to believe that we are guilty and not deserving of love.

I must be growing in consciousness because my ego is having a field day with me lately. Is anyone else experiencing that? I almost hate to admit it and share my experiences because it feels almost like a relapse to old egoistic behaviors. I share it with you for several reasons: (1) it is my belief that when we expose the ego, it loses its power. (2) you know that you are not alone. (3) to show you what I do and how I align myself with the truth of who I am as a child of God.

I became aware of these behaviors when I noticed that I was “comparing” myself with others and looking outside to others for validation. The comparing may only last for a “flash” and I am able to recognize it as ego. I did comparing and competition for a long time and know it has never worked. It is my own love, appreciation and respect that I need the most.

It comes from a place of “not enoughness” which is a core issue for most of us and it rears its head when least expected. When I don’t believe that “I am enough” it may show up in thoughts like I don’t have enough money, love, time, clothes, friends, or a big enough home, etc. It is so insidious and I know it is not the truth. It can also show up as jealousy, fear, anger, disappointment and judging.

Eckhart Tolle states “The mind exists in a state of “not enough” and so is always greedy for more. There is also the ego’s need to be periodically in conflict with something or someone in order to strengthen its sense of separation between “me” and the “ other” without which it cannot survive.

The truth is I have everything I need and I am more than enough. I am perfect and whole and loved unconditionally. I am connected to the Divine, to the Source of the Universe and there is always abundance flowing when I open my heart to receive. I asked the Holy Spirit what its message was in regards to these old behaviors showing up.

Trust the process Pat and know that I am allowing this to come up to be healed and transformed. You are going deeper and higher with me. Your ego and thoughts of separation is what is bringing this to the surface and this is good. Do not beat up on yourself, but more than ever, love yourself.”

I was led to write out a list of qualities that I love about myself: I love

* my willingness to go within for my answers;

* my desire for the truth of who I am;

* my honesty with myself and others;

* how I trust the process with you God;

* how I am willing to feel and express my feelings;

* my faith in you God;

* how I want to follow you and do your will;

* how I reach out to others to love, support, and pray for them;

* my kindness and thoughtfulness to my family and friends

When I brought this to God and asked for help and clarity about what was going on, peace returned to my heart. So, instead of thinking I relapsed into old behaviors and beat up on myself, I was able to re-frame it and understand that I was indeed going deeper and higher with God and that healing and transformation was going on within.

I am grateful that the light of God was shining in my heart and that I can go directly to the Holy Spirit for my answers, especially to expose the ego thoughts and behaviors that no longer serve me.


How do we build trust in a relationship? I think “TRUST” is one of the most important qualities when it comes to a committed love relationship. Just like most of us, I have been disappointed and hurt in the past by people I loved and trusted.  This has happened to me more times than I would have liked.

Consequently, I have some “trust issues.” It’s not too difficult for me to trust people on small things like believing you when you tell me you are going to meet me at a certain time or you share something about what happened that day or what you are feeling. It’s easy to believe that you are sharing your perspective and I trust it is your truth.

I asked myself, “How do I open up again to trust another person when I’ve been hurt and relationships have ended?  I can trust again because I value a “love relationship” more than my fear of getting hurt again and I am willing to take full responsibility for the risk my choice represents. After I have taken the time to heal and forgive, I am open to try again in another relationship trusting that this one will be fruitful for both of us and to the extent that it is, we will stay together. 

How do we know a person is trustworthy?  Before we ask that question we could ask ourselves if we think we are trustworthy?  I think I am trustworthy because I endeavor to be honest with myself and my partner. I do a lot of personal work and feel I am growing and becoming more conscious daily.  I take full responsibility for my actions.  I am becoming more aware when ego is attempting to influence my life negatively and take steps to prevent that from happening.  I consider myself trustworthy and worthy of trust. I look for these qualities in a relationship whether it be in a friendship or a love relationship.

How have I built trust in my relationship with Pat?  I think honesty and respect are two qualities that have helped me to do that. I support and encourage her to be her own person and to do what’s important to her, even though it may not seem important to me. Likewise, she supports and encourages me to be my own person.

Just trusting there is someone watching your back that loves you, is huge, especially when we’re going through a difficult time. I am confident that Pat will have my back. I’ve learned to trust that she will be honest with me even if she disagrees with my prospective or direction. Because of our past experiences, I know she will not agree with me just because it will make me feel good and that kind of behavior builds trust.  Because of her experiences in our relationship, she trusts that I will be there for her, no matter what.

Even though relationships don’t always become what we would have hoped they would and we get hurt, I think I’m learning that being able to TRUST someone in our lives is a wonderful asset.  We realize that we don’t have to face the difficult times alone, and there is someone whom we can confide in and that relieves our stress and angst.  We feel loved, supported and protected.  I think it’s worth the risk.  Who is that special person in your life?

“I was at the end of my rope”

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“The best thing I can do is pray for another. When I pray for a loved one, a friend or even someone I know about from the news or social media, I give the GIFT OF LOVE. As I pray for someone, I feel our divine connection as I affirm the goodness of God. I open my mind and heart to divine love. I let this love flow from me and affirm that the highest blessing is unfolding.” Daily Word

I love how God answers prayers and puts people together at the perfect and right time. I would like to share 2 experiences regarding the power of prayer this week.

I received an email from a friend that read, “I am asking for prayer for a personal issue. Will you please see me as healthy and enjoying my life. I will have the results next week and let you know.” I emailed her and said, “I am praying for you.” My email bounced back and I didn’t know why so I text-ed her and wrote,“Never doubt what one prayer can do.” I didn’t hear from her for a couple of weeks so I sent another text asking how she was? She wrote back and said, I am doing great.” Something felt strange so I asked her if she sent an email requesting prayer and she said, “No, I didn’t but the day you sent me the text (Never doubt what one prayer can do) was a very dark day and you picked up on that like a miracle.”

I was astonished that she hadn’t sent me an email requesting prayer so I went back to my trash and there was no email from her. Strange and powerful things are happening as we are all connected in love.

Here is the other example: I was driving to the beach to take a walk and swim when I spotted the yard sale sign. Of course, I had to stop to see if there were any treasures. When I walked in the woman said, “Everything is $1.00 except for the TV. I have to get rid of everything because we are moving on Tuesday. I have been doing this for several weeks and I am exhausted.” It was Sunday and there was still quite a bit of stuff left. I wondered how she would get rid of it all.

She then said, I also have my 5 cats that need homes because I can’t take them with me.” I could tell she was really troubled and distraught about finding homes for her cats in one day. I asked what her name was and she said, “Cindy.” I said, “Cindy, I will pray for you and for this situation.”

In our conversation she said, “I recently had knee surgery and have back problems.” I asked, “Where are you moving and how are you going to get rid of everything in a day?” She said, “We are moving to the Big Island and we are going to donate whatever we have left over to a charity.”

I really felt bad for her and wanted to buy a few things to help her out, but then realized I didn’t bring any money with me since I was just going to the beach. I asked if I could bring the money back in the morning after my yoga class. She agreed to that and I left with my items.

I immediately prayed for her as I drove away and all during the day. After my yoga class the next day, I went back to her house to give her the money I owed her, but nobody was home. I had a massage scheduled right around the corner and planned on returning after the massage. As I drove by her house after my massage, I spotted her standing outside.

She was really excited to see me as I walked up her driveway because she didn’t know my name or how to get in touch with me to share what happened. She said, “You are not going to believe this but 10 minutes after you left and said you would pray for me, a woman came by and noticed the cat carrier that was for sale. Cindy shared that she had 5 cats that needed homes. The woman said, “I live upcountry and I take in cats.” The woman left with all 5 cats and Cindy was so relieved and grateful that they found good homes. Talk about God’s perfect timing.

I was in awe of how it all played out. We hugged one another as the tears rolled down her cheeks. She said, “I knew when you asked me my name that you would be praying for me. This is truly a miracle and I know God answered my prayers. When I was having my coffee this morning and feeling so overwhelmed, I gave it to God because I was at the end of my rope and didn’t know what else to do.”

I then heard Spirit say, “Give her your book.” I don’t argue anymore when I hear Spirit tell me to give my book away. I said, “I have a gift for you in my car.” She was thrilled and said she would read it on the plane the next day.

There is no doubt in my mind that we are all ONE and are connected. Praying for one another keeps us aware that we all one in Spirit-one in love.

My family was distraught

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It will be 5 years in January that I left my home, family, friends, business and community to move 5,000 miles away to live on Maui. I am grateful that I followed my heart and stepped out in faith. I know today that it was God’s grace that gave me the courage to say YES. Of course, there was fear of the unknown and I had to let go of limiting beliefs of not being deserving or worthy before I could make this bold move. I had to trust myself and know that God was leading me and would provide for me.

Following your heart is not always easy because you may disappoint those you love and they may not approve of your actions and choices. Sometimes people look at me and wonder how I could have left my 4 adult children and grandchildren, especially when I tell them that I came here alone and knew in my heart that I was going to meet my soul mate.

As I’ve shared in other blogs, I have never been happier in my life and my attitude is over the top with gratitude. It keeps getting better and better as I “show up” and say YES to all God/Source/Universe wants to give me. I am realizing that I stop the flow of abundance in body, mind, and spirit when I am unable or refuse to RECEIVE. Spirit always wants to give more love, peace, joy and happiness, but I have to be willing to open my heart to receive.

I know that I am where I am meant to be because of the peace in my heart. That doesn’t mean it is always easy though. The hardest part of living so far away is not being there physically when my kids go through something difficult. Thank God for Face Time that keeps us connected.

For example: It was really difficult when my daughter, Mary, called to tell me that her beloved dog, Joey, passed away suddenly and the whole family was distraught, especially my young grandson. I cried and wanted to be there to hug them and comfort them.

I went online to find the “Rainbow Bridge” poem that I knew would be comforting to my grandson and sent it to my daughter. We face timed the next day and she asked me to read it to him, which I did. He was quiet and I wasn’t sure how much he understood it. I shared with him that my mom died many years ago and I get signs and rainbows all the time to help me know she is happy and safe.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies who has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All of the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

The next day I received a text from my daughter telling me that my grandson was in the car the next day when he spotted a rainbow in the sky. It was the first rainbow he has ever seen. He was so excited and said, “There’s the rainbow bridge.”

God is so good and hears our prayers. Although I am not with my children and grandchildren physically, there is no doubt in my mind that we are all connected by Love. All there is is Love.

I was wrongly accused

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I am sure most of us have been “wrongly” accused of something at one time or another in our lives. It can be very painful and traumatic and may take a long time to heal. Some of you may still be struggling with something in your past that you are holding onto. Of course, it is only natural to want to defend ourselves and prove our innocence. It has been my experience that Spirit allows things to happen to show me how I have grown (or not grown) in how I handle situations where I have been accused of wrong doing.

For example: I attended a water aerobics class this week and the teacher who I had just met invited me to her pool party on Saturday. A few days later, she saw a friend of mine and told her how upset and angry she was with me for something someone told her I did.

Of course, my friend was shocked and said, “That doesn’t sound like Pat.” When my friend called and shared with me what happened, I felt embarrassed because of the things she accused me of doing. I was shocked and felt terrible. I immediately called the teacher to explain what happened. She didn’t answer her phone so I left a message and apologized for the misunderstanding and asked her to please forgive me.

What I know about myself is that I would never intentionally hurt another person. We all have different perspectives and experiences in life so, unfortunately, we do hurt others and may never even know it.

Instead of beating up on myself or doubting myself, after my friend called me, I released it and didn’t let it ruin my day. I called the teacher and took responsibility for what actually happened. I was a little anxious about seeing her when I attended the next aerobics class. When I prayed about it, I heard Spirit reassure and say “You didn’t do anything wrong and I want you to walk into the class with your head held high. Know that I place everything and everyone and every encounter in your life for a reason. You are learning to trust that more deeply.”

I approached the teacher before the class started and asked if she received my phone call. She said, “Yes, and I wrote you a response 2 days ago, but haven’t sent it.” She was still angry at me and couldn’t understand my actions. I tried to explain my side of what happened, but she didn’t want to hear it. I found out later that she accused me of doing something that was second hand.

I needed to let it go and send her love. I am not responsible and cannot control what other people think of me or say about me. All I am responsible for is me, my actions and keeping my side of the street clean. I can hold onto resentments and ruminate about what happened to me until the cows come home. What good does that do? It only hurts me and robs me of my peace. Whenever the situation popped up in my mind during the day, I released judgment and sent her light and love.

Spirit showed me how I had grown because I didn’t take it personally and I moved through it quickly.

This situation brought to mind what happened to me in my career over 10 years ago when I was wrongly accused of something I didn’t do. It devastated me and took every ounce of energy and prayer to move through it. Someone I trusted had gone behind my back to the boss and said things about me that weren’t true and almost cost me my job. I am so grateful for the friends in the department who loved and supported me through this. In the end, I was vindicated and the truth came to the light, which it always does. But during that time, I learned some valuable lessons about life.

Instead of being bitter and resentful when I walked by her office every day, I learned about forgiveness. I quietly prayed, “I release judgment and send light and love.” It was the only way I could remain peaceful and remain at the job until I was ready to retire.

We can become BITTER or BETTER by what life brings us. I chose to become better. I wasn’t going to allow someone else’s behavior to determine my behavior. It wasn’t easy, but peace was more important to me than being right.

How about you? Is there someone in your life that has hurt or betrayed you and you have been unable to let go and forgive? If not now, when? Forgiveness is a choice and it is for you, not the other person. You are not condoning the act, but forgiving the person for what they did. Take yourself out of the prison of resentment and free yourself to live the best life you can live. Remember, we are not promised tomorrow. All we have is today.


Aloha friends, thought some of you may be wondering why I haven’t been contributing to the blog the last couple of weeks.  Truth is, I haven’t had anything to write about.  I seem to be in a place right now where it’s better for me to listen instead of writing.  I was reading in Alan Cohens book entitled “Enough Already- The Power of Radical Contentment” today and Alan shares a story about an annual retreat in Assisi, Italy.  The retreat is basically silent, the rule is:  “Speak only if what you have to say is more powerful than the silence.”  He also shares about the benefit of being silent and listening. We all go through times in our lives when it is better to listen and not speak so much.  It seems like this is where I am right now so I will keep listening and write again when I feel whatever I have to say seems more important than my silence. 

You are safe

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I picked this card from a deck of cards from “The Teachings of Abraham” that I received for my birthday.

                                          My Most Important Relationship is With My Source:

There is no relationship of greater importance to achieve than the relationship between you, in your physical body, right here and now, and the Soul/Source/God from which you have come. If you tend to this relationship, first and foremost, you will then and only then have the stable footing to proceed into other relationships. Your relationship with your own body; with money; with your parents, children, grandchildren, and your world will all fall easily into alignment once you tend to this fundamental relationship first.

For the past several months in my daily prayer I have been asking the Holy Spirit for a message and writing it down in my journal. The voice of the Holy Spirit is in all of us and Spirit wants to guide us in everything. Here are some of the messages I received:

  • There is peace within and “knowingness” when you hear my voice. Listen to my voice, which is your voice, the voice of the Holy Spirit.
  • Breathe into my love and presence. You are safe
  • I am leading you in everything and all has already been planned in the mind of God for your highest good. Trust that everything is in perfect and right order.
  • It is my Spirit that has brought you this far and I will continue to do so. Relax, let go, don’t resist anything. There are no mistakes or accidents.
  • You are as close to me in this moment as your breath. I am your breath.
  • Everything happens in my time and there is no need to worry or be concerned. You are on the path right and where you need to be.
  • You are on the fast track of consciousness and much is being revealed to you as you surrender to my will.
  • Your light is shining brighter because you know who you are.
  • You are never alone. We are ONE. I am you and you are me. We are all connected.
  • As you open to receive, your capacity to love and give expands simultaneously.
  • Celebrate your new life for it is real. There is only love.

Some may think that the experience I’m going to share is just a coincidence. I believe it is a “Godincidence” and proof that we are all connected and being guided.

I chuckled out loud as I walked out of my doctor’s office last week. As I was leaving her office, she hugged me and said, “I think of you often. I remember how you ask for what you want at yard sales from your book. I want a hammock.” It just came out of her mouth that she wanted a hammock and I just happened to have one that I wasn’t using. I said, “Well, guess what? I have a hammock and you can have it for free.” She just looked at me in kind of a daze and said, “I would like to pay you for it and would love to come and see it.” I said, “I hope you do because I know this is the work of Spirit.”

When I returned home, I took a picture of the hammock and sent it to her. I told her that I was thinking of putting it on Craigslist since I wasn’t using it.

She texted me immediately and said, “When can I pick it up?” She picked it up a couple of days later and said, “When you sent me the picture, I knew it was the Spirit because it was perfect and just what I wanted. I have been looking for a hammock for my father and haven’t been able to find one with a stand.

I love how Spirit works when we are open to asking and receiving. We truly are all connected. And our most important connection/relationship is with our Source/God/Soul. Are you nurturing your relationship with your Source on a daily basis? And if not, why not?

There is no relationship of greater importance to achieve than the relationship between you, in your physical body, right here and now, and the Soul/Source/God from which you have come. If you tend to this relationship, first and foremost, you will then and only then have the stable footing to proceed into other relationships. Your relationship with your own body; with money; with your parents, children, grandchildren, and your world will all fall easily into alignment once you tend to this fundamental relationship first.

Letting go of my addiction to control

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God certainly knows how to get my attention, especially when I am not aligned with Spirit and fear is present. For example, when I woke up this morning, I felt fear in the pit of my stomach. It really surprised me because as I had shared in last week’s blog, our cruise was magnificent as I EXPANDED my heart to receive more of God’s love. My relationship with Larry had deepened and EXPANDED and our love for one another was stronger than ever. I asked myself, “Why would I be feeling fear now and where is it coming from?” I said a prayer and asked for help. I was determined to not let fear rob me of my joy like I did for so many years and the love that was being offered to me through Larry.

A couple of minutes later when I was about to check my emails, the thought popped into my head that I would love to receive a response from Karen about last week’s blog post “Walls come crashing down.” Karen lives on the East Coast and Karen has never responded to one of our blogs, nor have I had any communication with her in a few years. I had no idea why she popped into my head (other than Spirit answering my prayer and wanting me to pay attention).

I was shocked when I saw Karen’s name in my email box a couple of minutes later. I opened her email and it read “Pat this is beautiful and I am so happy to read about your journey of love. I especially love this part: “I heard the still, small voice of God say to me, “You just have to BE and let go of wanting to control the process and knowing what will happen next. You have surrendered your life to me so now you can sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Smile because Love is all there is and you are safe.”

Since this was in my face, I clearly needed to be reminded of the message Spirit gave me last week. “You need to let go of wanting to control the process and what will happen next.” The fear that I experienced when I woke up was about wanting to be in control. One of the big hurdles in life is when we are stepping into the unknown and not knowing what’s next. We are invited to take a leap of faith and trust.

Author Kute Blackson writes, “The root of misery is control. Control is the master addiction, the hardest one to give up. Control is an illusion, as there is so much in life that we cannot control. When you try to control what you cannot, then suffering is your guaranteed result.”

EXPANSION is about being in the flow and surrendering. Control is about constriction and contraction. I wrote in the blog last week that I was sure that my EXPANSION would be fun and maybe scary. Last week was fun, now the scary part was here and I needed to embrace and love the fearful part of me too. I also knew that FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.

I was willing to do whatever I needed to do and use all the tools I had to move through this and not put up my walls again. I didn’t eat over it or stay busy over the fear, but instead allowed myself to go into the pain and feel it all. I breathed through it and allowed what needed to come to come up.


I  spent the day in prayer and reflection uncovering and releasing beliefs that no longer served me. I recently read that 95% of our beliefs are in our subconscious and we are only conscious of 5% of our beliefs. Because of my history of sexual abuse starting at 10 years old with several abusers, I really needed to be still and listen to what my body needed next. As a young girl, I was robbed of my innocence and was now reclaiming it. Through the grace of God, I knew I was EXPANDING into the woman I was created to be and that I wanted to be.

It has been my experience that when we are close to a break-through or about to manifest something big in our lives, our fears will come up and sometimes with a vengeance. It means we are getting closer to what we really want. We cannot give up before the miracle and I wasn’t willing to give up before the miracle.

I asked Spirit what I needed to do and here is what I heard, “Keep doing what you are doing by acknowledging your fear, sharing it with Larry and letting it go. By sharing it with Larry you are bringing it to the light to be healed and transformed. You are being held and healed. Just like a mother holds her baby tenderly and lovingly and assures it that it is safe, you are doing that for your wounded child inside of you. Larry is my gift to you for your expansion and healing and you are a gift for his healing.”

Right before I was to send this out, I received this in my email box from Abraham:

“The hypocrisy around the subject of sexuality is huge. Early on, there were others who were a lot more interested in you satisfying what made them feel good than in satisfying what made you feel good. There were so many things that you felt inclined to go this way, that you were forced to go that way, that at an early age, you made a conscious decision that if it felt good, it was wrong. And if it felt wrong, it was probably right.”

Today, I am surrendering and letting go of my addiction to control. I am sitting back, relaxing and enjoying the ride. I am smiling because Love is all there is and I am safe.

“Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Follow me wholeheartedly, with glad anticipation quickening your pace. Though you don’t know what lies ahead, I know; and that is enough. Some of my richest blessings are just around the bend: out of sight, but nonetheless very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith-not by sight.” Jesus Calling

How about you? Are you willing to surrender and walk by faith to receive the gifts that are waiting for you? Don’t let fear rob you and don’t give up before the miracle.


The walls came crashing down

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I opened my birthday cards and gifts that I received from family and friends on the cruise. Just like a small child, I felt excited to read the cards out loud to Larry and felt so loved and cherished.

For as long as I can remember the scripture passage that has always spoken to my heart is Jeremiah 29 11-14. It is “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”

I received a beautiful plaque from my friend, Mary, with this scripture on it and a crown on the top of it. When I saw the crown, I started to sob. It was like my spirit jumped for joy when it was revealed to me that this has been God’s PLAN for me forever. It was in the mind of God before it manifested in form. I am coming more and more into the truth of who I am as a Divine being and child of God. My friend, Zariah, sent me a birthday card with a crown in it to put on my head.

I have been coming into my “Queen-dom” and what it really means to be a queen for a few years now. I have a cup that Larry serves coffee in for me every morning that reads “I am the Queen.” I asked myself, “What does it mean to be a queen and what are her characteristics?”

  • She leads from and with her HEART with Love
  • She is able to RECEIVE all that is rightfully hers and GIVES from her heart
  • She SERVES with love and kindness wherever she goes as she is led by Spirit
  • She knows who she is as a royal queen and child of God
  • She knows she is ONE with God and her fellow human beings
  • She is FREE to be herself and is not afraid to just BE
  • She is able to FEEL all of her feelings and goes into the pain, rather than running from it
  • Her FAITH is strong and grounded in Spirit as she goes within for her answers
  • She lives in the present MOMENT
  • She has learned to TRUST herself and the process of life
  • She recognizes the BEAUTY in herself and freely compliments others beauty
  • She loves and appreciates herself
  • She lets her light SHINE from within
  • She knows what she wants and is able to ask for it
  • She is in the FLOW and expresses and lives with passion

As a woman, do you know that you are a queen and are royalty? Are you treated like a queen? Can you recognize yourself in the above list? I think the world needs us to come into our feminine “Queen-ship” and to know the truth of who we are as royalty.

In all its beauty and splendor, your crown should be the thing that people experience, appreciate and remember about you.  You want to be identified by your crown and stand out from the world. Wearing your crown means that you don’t think, act or speak like the world. You operate in excellence, overcome great trials and speak with wisdom – all because of your crown and who you are in the Kingdom of God. Wearing your crown is all about  loving the unlovely, being patient with the unknowing, forgiving the ugly, showing kindness to the poor, being compassionate to the brokenhearted, and above all, maintaining your self-control when you are provoked because you represent the Kingdom of God.” Motivation Pearls

I would like to share a little about our cruise together. When I shared in last week’s blog about EXPANSION, I had no idea what it really meant and how it would look and feel.

As I EXPANDED and opened my heart to Larry to love me in a deeper and more intimate way, I allowed him to love me in a way that he had never loved me before. When we have walls up because of our past experiences, we block the energy of love from coming in. I wanted my walls to come down and was ready and willing to experience the expansion. And boy did I ever!

It took time for me to integrate all that happened to us on the cruise because we opened ourselves to receive all that God wanted to give us. For me, it felt like a baptism of Fire/Passion. It felt like I was in an altered state filled with love and gratitude because I realized there is always MORE to receive.

I heard the still, small voice of God say to me, “You just have to BE and let go of wanting to control the process and knowing what will happen next. You have surrendered your life to me so now you can sit back, relax and enjoy the ride. Smile because Love is all there is and you are safe.”


WOW! I am so grateful that Spirit led me to change my mind about going on the cruise with Pat for her birthday.  It was a terrific cruise and we had a fabulous time.  Pat has been concentrating on trying to expand her ability to love and be loved. Since she is already such a loving person, I wondered just how she would be able to do that. We spent a lot of time together talking and being present to one another with kindness and love.  I think we have a very special relationship and from my perspective it couldn’t get any better.  

Well, LOVE knows better. As we remained open with an attitude of gratitude, things started to happen and we both started to expand and the feeling of wellness and love was incredible.  Those of you who read our blogs know it is our desire to become the best vessels of love that we can be. I believe my heart is my vessel, and to the extent I open my heart it will be filled with the energy and light of love.

As I witnessed Pat confront some issues that had been major walls in her life for many years, her expansion was incredible . She was able to accept and allow her heart to receive the continuing gift of love. Her heart expanded to overflowing and I was the recipient of that overflowing fountain of love. In turn, or my response to her expansion was that my heart expanded to receive all the love energy and light that was being offered to me. I was able to love her more deeply and give to her in a way that I hadn’t been able to respond before. 

Not only did I feel more connected to Pat, but I felt connected to every soul on the ship. I was aware of how hard everyone worked to make this cruise a wonderful experience for the guests (cabin steward, wait staff, kitchen workers, servers and cooks.) They work long 10 to 12 hour days for little reward.  I was free with compliments and appreciation.

It was fantastic to see their eyes light up when I mentioned what a good job they were doing or how much I appreciated their hard work.  I was very impressed with the quality of the food and the cleanliness of preparation areas and serving stations. I contacted the head chef to compliment him on his entire operation.  He was really happy to talk with me and said, “It is rare that anyone contacts me with positive feedback, most of my calls are people complaining. Your comments give me”wings to fly” and you made my day.” I also contacted the officer in charge of the wait staff to comment positively on how extraordinary his wait staff were.  He was so grateful and impressed that he gave us a bottle of wine of our choice.

This cruise experience has confirmed for me that LOVE is never done giving, all we need to do is be open to it, and our vessels will be filled to overflowing. Remember: “Love in your heart is not put there to stay. Love is not love until you give it away.” The more we give the more we receive. Thanks for taking the time to read our offerings.

I felt guilty and was beating up on myself

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I am “awakening” daily to the truth of who I AM; I AM Love and the presence of God/Divine/Source/Essence in the world. I am a Divine being that comes from Love and is made out of Love. Wow, isn’t that amazing and when I really embrace it and live it, miracles occur everywhere and every day. Do you know that you are Love and the presence of God in the world or do you think you are unworthy, not perfect or not good enough to even consider that?

As I awaken to the Spirit within, I am being shown more clearly how I have lived most of my life believing that I am separate from God and God is outside of me, up in the sky somewhere. I had to be a good girl, be perfect to be loved and get to heaven.

I am being shown how and where my ego has been playing in my life, in spite of wanting to live my life for God and to do God’s will. The ego wants to distract me from knowing the truth of the God within and myself as a child of God. It wants to rob me of my peace. Every thought that is not of God is of the ego. The ego is fear in every form.  What I am learning is that the ego is not real and it is an illusion. All that is real is LOVE.

Do you recognize how your ego shows up on a daily basis? Here are some of the behaviors and feelings that I have discovered within myself when my ego is running the show. Ego is often sneaky and doesn’t want to be recognized. It loses its power when we identify it.

When I am or feel:


*Comparing myself to others

*Competing with others

*People pleasing

*Unable to ask for help and receive

*Unable to accept “what is”

*Blaming others for my problems

*Wanting to be right and have the last word in a conversation

*Wanting to be perfect and look good

*Wanting to do everything perfectly  

*Wanting to intimidate or manipulate others

*Wanting to judge others
*Wanting to be the BEST

*Wanting to fix others & f eel responsible for other’s happiness and well-being

*Wanting to control others 

*Wanting to run the show 

*Wanting to be somewhere else rather than where I am

*Feeling less than or better than

*Feeling not good enough, unworthy and not deserving

*Feeling fearful, guilty or shame

*Feeling like a victim

*Feeling stupid

*Showing off

*Being unable to forgive and holding a grudge

*Drama in my life 

*Addicted to a substance or a process like work, busyness, shopping or gambling

*Taking things personally, being overly sensitive and feelings easily hurt

*Worrying and obsessing about a person or situation

Recently, I felt jealous about something and I didn’t like it at all. It had been a long time since jealousy had reared its head. I started to beat up on myself and felt shameful and embarrassed because it seemed so ridiculous to me that I was feeling jealous. When I brought it to my prayer and asked Spirit what was going on, this is what I heard from Spirit.

You must not make a big deal out of this. Love is all there is and all that is real. The more you know that love is all there is, the less bothered you will be when the ego thought system shows up in your life. Learn to smile at it when you recognize it and it will mean nothing because it’s only a dream and not real. LOVE EVERYTHING. You always have a CHOICE to choose love or fear. Choose LOVE. As you identify the ego and its patterns in your life and you release it and choose love, your light shines brighter in the world.

Beating up on yourself and feeling guilty or shameful is being unloving toward yourself. Your ego wants to rob you of your peace and knows exactly how to do it and where to go. I want you to befriend your ego rather than trying to beat it out of you. I want you to love all of you because you are love and as you learn to love yourself, you are loving your brother and loving me because we are all One.”

How do you get the ego out of the way and create miracles in your own life? Know that the ego is not you.  You are that which is observing your ego. Don’t fight against the ego and the emotions you are feeling.  Experience them.  Let them run their course.

Many years ago, I learned to invite jealousy and all my feelings in for a cup of tea. I need to remember to do that again. How about you? Are you choosing Love and loving yourself? Are you experiencing miracles in your life?


The longer I travel this journey of life, the more I’m finding out about myself.  In the past, I’ve shared how difficult it is for me to accept compliments and positive attention from others.  The other day Pat and I were talking about reasons why it’s difficult to receive compliments and positive attention. 

The thought occurred to me that when I receive a compliment or receive positive feedback from another. I act like a turtle. You know how a turtle often presents itself dozing on a rock near a pond or around a shoreline with it’s head out enjoying the sun. Then as you approach the turtle it immediately pulls its head in for protection.  I’m becoming aware that is what I do when someone offers me a compliment or responds to something I’ve done in a positive manner.  

I pull back to protect myself because I’m afraid you will discover the real me, not the one you admire. I often think that if you understood what I deal with to try to become that person that you admire, you would have never offered me a compliment. If you could see the weak person that I think I am and my struggle with my ego and fear, you wouldn’t be giving me compliments. 

Then the ego tries to convince me that the person giving me a compliment really didn’t mean what they said. They are just trying to be nice or perhaps they want something from me. 

You know that I talk and write a lot about love, kindness and forgiveness and people have said to me “That’s easy for you to do.”  I look at them in astonishment, smile and slowly shake my head. Why would it be easier for me to do?   

It seems my mindset in the past has been that I have to say it, write it, and practice it perfectly before I can take credit for it.  LOVE (Spirit) is showing me that this is ridiculous. Trying to be perfect is an old belief that no longer serves me and never has.  When a person gives me a compliment, I am choosing to believe it’s because I have touched them in some way that they appreciate and they want me to know that.

So I hear LOVE saying “Don’t pull your head back in turtle, accept the gift and compliment, live in the moment and enjoy the experience.”  Well, I’m trying and learning to do that, I hope you are too.  Thanks for reading our sharing.

God, I don’t want to do that

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Diane approached me after the Sunday service and said, “Pat, I told you I don’t like to read, but I am reading your book and loving it. The title really fits you. I told my husband that I don’t have faith anywhere near what Pat has, how does she do it?” He said, “Well, you will have to ask her.”
As I thought about her comment, I realized that I have been walking in faith and listening to the small, still voice of God for over 40 years and have had lots of practice with big things as well as little things. I have had many opportunities to exercise my faith muscles. As the saying goes, “If you don’t use it, you lose it!”
In my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith,” I share a story about how I asked Spirit to lead me to someone who really needed to know they were loved.  I was guided to go up to a woman on the beach I didn’t know and tell her “God loves you.”  She broke down and sobbed for quite a while.  What I didn’t know was that she wanted to die and was contemplating suicide at the moment I approached her. 
Many people have asked me, “How do you know it is the voice of Spirit and not just your own voice? How can you trust it is God speaking to you and not your ego?”  It truly is a matter of TRUST and PRACTICE when I am guided to do something.  I am learning to recognize when it is my ego and old patterns that are playing in my mind. Ego disrupts my peace of mind and Spirit brings me peace. An old ego pattern for me is when I make up a story in my mind about a person or situation that is not true. It is also called mind-reading.
I have had too many experiences when I have listened to the voice of Spirit and experienced miracles unfold. Some call it coincidences, but I call it “Godincidences.” 
My heart is open and I am willing to follow where I am being led.  I listen, step out in faith and trust that I am being GUIDED. It’s like I “show up” and allow the plan to unfold in the perfect way and perfect time. I wouldn’t be living in Maui if I hadn’t listened to the Voice within and followed my heart. 
I trust that if I am off track, Spirit will guide me back to where I need to be. As I look back over the years, I admit it has not always been easy because my ego got in the way. I worried about what others would think of me and think I was crazy.  I wonder how many opportunities I missed out on because of fear and pride. How about you?
Today, when I hear the voice of Spirit guiding me to do something, I listen because I have learned to trust it and I know it won’t  go away until I do what I am being guided to do. Even if it doesn’t make sense and I don’t understand why I am being guided in a certain direction, I do it anyway. I have learned to not RESIST when I think, “You really don’t want me to do that, do you?”
For example, Spirit provided me with a very nice radio and CD player FREE because I listened and did what I heard Spirit guiding me to do.  Our CD player broke a couple of weeks ago and we hadn’t replaced it yet.
My appointment was scheduled for 1:00 p.m. last Tuesday.  I had a couple of things that I wanted to do before my appointment and I was running late. I wasn’t sure which one to do first, since they were both in different directions.  I asked Spirit to guide me and was led to go to my friend Gail’s house before my appointment. I was surprised when I arrived at Gail’s house and she wasn’t home. I now had 40 minutes to kill before my appointment at 1:00 p.m. and the errand was on the other side of town. I wondered, “Did I really hear Spirit direct me to go to Gail’s house since she wasn’t home?”
I didn’t complain, but trusted I was being guided, although it didn’t make sense because I had to come back to the same location for my appointment.  I decided to do my other errand and drove to the Rainbow Attic – my favorite consignment store to drop off some things to sell. 
As I was about to leave, I noticed another customer walk in with a bag full of stuff and a CD player. My intuition told me to stop and wait to see if Rainbow Attic was going to take the CD player because they don’t always take electronics.  
Sure enough, the woman had the CD player in her hand as we both were walking out of the store together. I asked her if she wanted to sell it to me and she said, “I was only going to bring it to the Goodwill, you can have it. Aloha. ”   I thanked her and said, “I love how Spirit works on this island.”
I now understood the timing of it all and that if Gail had been home, I would not have been at the Rainbow Attic at the exact time I needed to be there for this to happen. I arrived home with a NEW CD player and Larry and I can now practice our dancing again.  God is so good and His timing is perfect!   
Another example of when I was guided happened a couple of weeks ago when I was taking my walk. I heard Spirit say to call an old friend of mine that I hadn’t spoken to in a few years. When I was done with my walk, I found a nice shady spot to sit and call her.
After catching up on how we both were doing she said, “Patti I can’t believe you called now because just yesterday I found a letter that you had written me many years ago in a drawer that I was cleaning out. The thought briefly went through my mind – Patti is busy now, she probably doesn’t love me anymore. It didn’t stay long because I knew it wasn’t true. Here you are calling me and letting me know how much you love me right when I needed it the most.”
I am grateful that I have learned to listen and trust the small, still voice of God within (also called intuition). I encourage you to “go within” and listen to the Voice of the Spirit that wants to give you guidance in every area of your life.  Larry will be back writing next week.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
PO Box 28844
Providence, RI 02908