The last couple of months have been extremely difficult for me. I cannot believe the situation I find myself in with no job, money, a pending divorce and a place to call home. I have cried, worried and despaired over my situation until finally a couple of weeks ago I surrendered to God. I cried out “I can’t do this alone, I’m going to put my faith in you and do your will.” With the help of my friend inviting me to her church, I have been guided into God’s arms and have been embraced with so much love that it truly has been miraculous.
Last Wednesday Denise (who I just met that afternoon) invited me to Water Street Cafe to hear Pat Hastings speak. Pat shared about an upcoming retreat on “Finding Your Purpose” that coming Saturday at her home. Denise turned to me and said “I want you to go to the retreat and I will pay for it.” I started to say no, but she said, “just say thank you and accept my gift.”
After Pat’s presentation, she raised her arms to send out positive energy and asked all of us to do the same for one another. I felt blessed by the Holy Spirit and it became very clear what my purpose was. Pat’s love and faith was so beautiful and powerful for me. My family died when I was sixteen and I always wondered why I was left behind and what my purpose was. People told me I was left behind for a reason but those comments never resonated with me….until I heard Pat speak that night. For the first time, I heard it in my soul that I am alive for a reason and not to try to figure it out. God loves me and I am here to do good, to trust God and believe all my needs are being taken care of. I am still in awe of the bountiful display of God’s love that night.
As soon as I walked into Pat’s home on Saturday, I felt so peaceful. The connection and ease with the other women enabled me to feel safe to open my heart and share my pain and faith. The forgiveness exercise Pat led us in helped me release anger and resentment that I carried for many years. What a relief that I have finally been able to let go and forgive. I feel lighter and happier.
God works in mysterious ways and I am so grateful for the out-pouring of love that I experienced at the retreat. One of the women anonymously offered to pay for spiritual coaching for me with Pat. Several of the women signed up to be with Pat on a holistic cruise to the Mayan Country in January. I was shocked to hear that this same woman wanted to pay for me to go on the cruise. I felt undeserving at first and it was hard to accept these gifts. But I know that it is God’s way of taking care of me and pouring out His love. To think that someone thinks I am worthy…….whomever you are, you will never know how much you have validated my mere existence and I will always thank you in my prayers for your unselfish gift and love. Thank you God and thank you Pat for sharing your faith and love with us.
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