I am a woman giving birth to myself
I am a woman giving birth to myself. Stepping into the unknown and following my heart has been the best thing I have ever done in my life (other than having children.) I didn’t push or make it happen, but I allowed it to unfold according to a divine plan or the Master Plan. We know that “giving birth” is not easy, whether it be giving birth to your own child or a dream such as a new business/career or a new relationship. I think we are always giving birth to something new in our lives and we can either welcome change and go with the flow or fight it because of fear, doubt and not believing in yourself. It took me 7 years to write my book because I didn’t believe in myself. There were many nights I went to bed and cried myself to sleep because I had so much fear inside of me.
Through the grace of God and the willingness to do whatever I needed to do to heal my soul, I am no longer that woman. Today, I am Simply a Woman of Faith and living my dream in paradise. If anyone would have told me 5 years ago that I would be living in Maui, I would have told them they were crazy. I always dreamed of visiting Hawaii, but living here was beyond my wildest dreams.
For the last several weeks, I kept saying to my friends “I feel like I am giving birth.” The week before I moved into my new beautiful home, I felt vulnerable and weary. I sat in the car and allowed the tears to come. For the 4th time in 6 weeks I was packing up my car to move again. I knew I was in the last leg of the race and needed God’s strength to pull me through. I said to God, “One more contraction and the baby will be born.” What I didn’t realize until a friend pointed it out to me is that my journey started 9 months ago when I moved to Maui. I have not had a place to call my own for 9 months. It seemed very significant. We cannot rush the baby along and it takes what it takes to be born.
Moving into my new home was like giving birth. It took me 2 days to unpack my boxes and get nestled in. I put up curtains, put pictures on the walls and lit candles. Everything that I have been buying at yard sales since I have been here has fit in perfectly. There are no words to describe the joy, happiness and gratitude that I feel today. A friend who helped me move in said, “Pat, this is like a sanctuary, it is so peaceful here. I absolutely love my new Ohana and feel so “at home.” I walk around in awe of what I have created. It took transforming my fears with faith and changing limiting beliefs that were not true, especially feelings of not being worthy or deserving. What do you want to give birth to? You may have a vague feeling or a desire to do something different or new. If you don’t know what it is, I encourage you to spend time in prayer and meditation and ask Spirit for clarity and courage. We all have gifts that God wants us to use to serve humanity.
I so looked forward to sleeping in my bed the first night I was here. I woke up several times and my back hurt. The mattress felt like I was sleeping on a board and it was very uncomfortable. I thought to myself, “I will have to find some kind of foam to put over the mattress.” The next morning, my land lady called to ask if I would like some fresh avocados and lemons that she just picked from the tree. Of course, I was delighted and said, “Yes.” During the conversation (and I had not said a word about the mattress to her) she said, “Can you use a foam mattress? It was given to Lloyd and he is not using it.” I was stunned how quickly this manifested for me and I didn’t do a thing but “show up.” Within 5 minutes, Lloyd carried the mattress down to my bedroom and put it on for me. It was like a new bed and last night I slept like a baby. It is true that God knows our needs before we even do.
I am practicing living in the present moment and going with the flow, which means I need to be flexible and be willing to change directions when needed. I shudder to think of all the years I tried to control my life and everyone around me. I caused myself and others so much stress and wasted so much energy. Today, I know I am responsible for my own life. I cannot control others and what they say or do. It is there business and not mine. If I am asked for advice, I give it, but then I need to let it go. Have you ever tried to convince someone they are doing thing wrong and it falls on deaf ears? If they would only do it your way, life would be so much easier. Been there, done that and it doesn’t work! Every morning I get on my knees and say the serenity prayer along with my intention for the day which is to be peaceful, love and to serve.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can (ME) and the wisdom to know the difference.” If you are struggling with control issues, pray this prayer, it works miracles.
You are a woman or a man giving birth to yourself. Let yourself feel the excitement for what is being born in you. Say YES to your heart. Say YES to God and to your gifts. You are ONE with God and created in His/Her image. You have everything you need inside of you to step into the world and be the STAR of your life. Go for it because you got it going on!
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