Browsing all articles tagged with asking for help

I judged Larry and felt terrible

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Oct
3

My aerobics teacher, Trixi, looked at me in class and said, “Pat is amazing and so are all of you.”  What a nice reminder, but I thought to myself, “What would she say if she knew what I had just struggled with before coming to class?”

I wrote in my journal prior to class, “Can I or will I ever get to the point where I don’t judge others and  am not affected by their behaviors?” I am divine and human and have feelings and opinions so perhaps it’s unrealistic to think I will never judge another person’s behaviors. I do believe that the more conscious I become and the more I love myself, the less judgmental I will be of others.

It is my problem when another person’s behavior disturbs me, whether it’s what they do or don’t do, or what they say or don’t say. Who am I to judge another when I have no idea what the person is suffering or going through.  When someone is rude to me or acts inappropriately in my perspective, instead of shooting off my mouth and lashing out, I want my default to be to SEND THEM LOVE rather than judging them. I am not there yet, but it is where I am striving to be!

When I judge others or my buttons are pushed, I may be projecting my feelings onto them, rather than looking at myself and what’s going on inside of me. I may be accusing another of the very things I have disowned or rejected in myself.  I have learned that when I “spot” something I don’t like in another person, I “got” it and it may very well be a call for SELF-LOVE.

Author Gay Hendricks, writes, “When I don’t or can’t acknowledge my feelings or accept something about myself, it is a sign that deep down, I don’t love myself. You will always find something to complain about, and the people in your life will always seem to be less than perfect, because you think you are less than perfect. Unless you can learn to love yourself, and accept yourself and your feelings, you will never be able to be fully loved by anyone else. 

Hendricks also writes, “Intimate relationships are like temperature gauges for self-love. When you are by yourself, you don’t encounter the typical triggers that would indicate a lack of self-love. But a relationship will stir up our deepest needs and fears. When you possess a full reservoir, you do not require your partner to “fill you up.” If your partner is having a bad day or you have a disagreement, you are able to give yourself the love your partner is unwilling or unable to share at that time.”

I could relate to what Hendricks wrote about relationships are like temperature gauges for self-love. Here is what happened this week:

I judged Larry when he woke up in the morning complaining of stomach cramps. I didn’t say it, but wanted to say, “It’s your own fault, look what you are putting into your body every day. You are eating too many sweets, that is why you have cramps and feel terrible.”

When I realized I was judging Larry, I really felt bad. I prayed and asked Spirit to show me the truth. I didn’t want to admit and acknowledge that I had recently been eating more sweets and instead of looking at what I was doing, I had projected my feelings onto him. Even though it doesn’t feel very good to admit this, I am grateful that Spirit brought this to the light so I can do something about it.

I may not like Larry’s diet, but the truth is what Larry does or doesn’t do, what he eats or doesn’t eat is none of my business. I cannot change anyone but myself.  I am being given an opportunity to love and accept myself. Here is the message from Holy Spirit:

“Don’t beat up on yourself. Learn from it. Love yourself and love your body.  Eat good food as a way of self-care. I will help you when you ask for my help.”

I did ask for help and am pleased to say that the last several days, I have had little cravings for sweets. I had been so busy concentrating on my daily exercise and water intake, that I wasn’t paying attention to what I was eating.

I received this message from a friend today from Science of Mind magazine. “There is an internal help system that I can choose to rely on. When I call out for help, it is my innermost guidance system. In that moment of sweet surrender, HELP stands for Hello Eternal Loving Presence.  

How about you? Is judging another’s behavior a problem for you?  Is judging yourself an indication that more self-love is needed?

I walked up to the man and said, “I need help”

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Sep
23

Last week I shared about some of the ways I love myself.  This week I would like to share about the ways I’ve felt loved, provided for and protected by the Divine.

I left my house early Saturday morning to facilitate the retreat/Play’dom, “Fall in Love with Your Inner Goddess.”  I planned on meeting, Kati, the co-facilitator at 8:45 a.m. to set up the space and get it ready for the women attending. I had ten minutes to spare when I noticed the big “garage sale” sign on the corner of the street. If you have read my book, you know that I am the “Yard Sale Queen” and just couldn’t resist a yard sale.  I jumped out of my car to look around the yard sale.  I found nothing interesting and walked back to my car. But, to my dismay, my car was dead as a door nail and wouldn’t start. I needed a jump start– perhaps I should not have jumped out of my car!

I looked around and noticed a man walking his dog across the street.  I walked over to him and said, “Hi, my name is Pat and I need some help.” I explained that my car was dead and I needed a ride to a house just a few blocks away. He said, “Sorry, but my wife has the car.” I am not in the habit of asking men that I don’t know for a ride, but I was desperate. I thanked him and walked back to my car.  A lady was outside on her lawn and I said to her, “I need help.”   She was so gracious and offered to drive me to my destination. But, I looked up and spotted Sally, a friend from my dancing group walking out of the yard sale. I thanked the lady and asked Sally to drive me to the house. I left my car there and off we went.  I totally forgot about my car and concentrated on the women at the retreat.

Thank you God for bringing Sally at the perfect and right time to help me when I needed it.  Thank you God that I wasn’t in the middle of nowhere and had a safe place to leave my car for the day.

The retreat was a success and the women all loved it.  We laughed, prayed, danced, sang and healed together. At the end of the day, Kati drove me back to my car to see if it would start. No, it was still dead. I called AAA and they said they would send a truck out in 40 minutes.  When the mechanic arrived and jumped my car with his cables, he said, “I’ve never seen this before, the problem may be the starter or the alternator. Lady, you better drive this car right home and bring it to your mechanic as soon as you can.”  I knew if I drove my car home, which was 30 minutes away, I would have to call AAA in the morning to have it towed to my mechanic. My mechanic lived a few minutes away from where I was.

At this point, I could hardly think straight and didn’t know what to do.  Kati said, “Why don’t you just call your mechanic and tell him what is going on.” It is now 7:00 p.m. on a Saturday night and Kati and I are hungry and exhausted. What is the likelihood of my mechanic answering the phone and being there?

To my surprise and delight, Andy answered the phone on the second ring. “Hi Andy, this is Pat, remember me, the lady that bought the 1997 Camaro.” I explained to him what was going on and I was just a few minutes away. He said, “Bring your car right over and I will look at it

Andy’s garage is attached to his home and when we arrived he was working on another car in the garage. He popped the hood of my car and said, “It just needs a new battery and I have one here that is almost brand new. Would you like me to put it in for you? I can have it done in 10 minutes.”   Of course, I said, “YES.” I was never so happy to write him a check for $100 and have a new battery put in my car.

I drove away thanking God all the way home for taking care of me in such a magnificent way.  It just all worked out perfectly from Sally picking me up and driving me to the house, to Andy being home at 7:00p.m. and having a battery there to put in my car.  I love how the Universe works when I trust and surrender.

I shared in last week’s blog about meeting the angel, Heidi, on the beach and that her message was, “Be Yourself and Let Go.”  On the morning of the retreat, Kati took her walk, and ran into Heidi walking on the beach.  They stopped and talked for a few minutes. Heidi said, “I have some new books in the trunk of my car that I want to get out into the world. Do you know of any women who would like them?”  Of course, Kati said, “Yes, I am leading a retreat later today and there will be 10 women there who would love them.”  I was amazed when Kati told me the story and how “Heidi” showed up again at the perfect and right time. The name of the book is “Awaken Your Royalty  – A playful blending of Body, Mind and Spirit –by Heidi Hohani.

I finished this part of the blog 5 days ago and KNEW there would be another “story” of God’s love to share, but I had to wait. God is faithful because the “story” was born tonight.

My friend, Kati, and I were having dinner together and catching up on the week’s happenings. As women do, we went from one subject to another. I shared with her about writing my blog and was waiting for another “story” of God’s love to unfold.  We both agreed it would happen.

My birthday is October second and Kati said, “What do you want to do for your birthday?” I said, “I have never been to Hana and would love to take a trip there.  Everybody talks about the “Road to Hana” with the beautiful waterfalls, windy roads and pools. It is definitely a must while in Maui.  Kati agreed to check around to see if we could find a place to stay for a night.

As we were chatting, a young woman walked by selling colorful leis. She stopped to greet us and told us her name was “Faith.” We talked for a few minutes and then she walked to the table behind us to greet the two women sitting there.  Kati said, “I just heard the woman sitting at that table say she lived in Hana.”  Kati and I just looked at one another and said, “Hmmmm.”

The next thing I knew I was up and walking over to the table to introduce myself to the women. “Hi, I’m Pat and I overheard you say you lived in Hana. I live in Maui Meadows and want to visit Hana for my birthday next week.  Do you know of a place we could stay?” After thinking for a minute, I was shocked when she said, “Do you want to swap houses? I am staying with my friend here tonight, but I love to come down this way when I can.”  That is how this “Divine Connection” began.  We decided to talk over coffee after dinner.

I went back to our table with a big smile on my face and said, “Kati, you are not going to believe what just happened. We have a place to stay in Hana – and it overlooks the ocean.”  We call it Maui Magic or “Ask and you shall receive.”  We needed a place to stay while in Hana and God answered the prayer. We will be “swapping houses” for 2 nights.

My new friend, Carol, shared with me that she wants to move to this area and this is perfect to stay in my ohana for 2 nights.  My friend, Linda, from Massachusetts is coming to visit me in November and Carol and I will be “swapping” homes again so I can take Linda to Hana.

I invited Carol and Sherri to see my home after we spent time getting to know one another at the restaurant. They are both women of faith and were thrilled when I gave them my book. I just never know when God is going to “show up” in my life. I do know that God is faithful. I have a feeling this is going to be a very special birthday.  And it has only just begun!

I received an email from Sherri  yesterday that read:  “Aloha.  It was “Divine Intervention” at work last night. I have been reading your book all day and thanking God for making our paths cross. I love your book and I can relate to so many things. Mahalo for taking the time to write it and gifting me a copy…..I’m so thankful to have met an AWESOME lady like you.

As I ponder God’s action and love in my life this week, I am reminded to ask for what I need, have faith, trust God in all things, and to know that I will be provided for at the right and perfect time.

TAKE OFF YOUR MASK – AND ASK

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Nov
8

Asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness, right?   I didn’t always believe that, but I do now.  I am learning to ask and trust  I will be heard and loved.  I am also learning to go to people that  I know will be there for me (and not judge or shame me.)  We all know those types.   Many people have a difficult time asking for help and find it much easier to give help than to receive it.  Do you have a difficult time asking for help?  Have you ever thought about why that is?  Perhaps you thought others would think less of you or you wouldn’t make a good impression if you really shared your struggle or pain. You may have told yourself that you didn’t want to bother someone with your problems and that you should be able to figure things out by yourself.  And the list goes on and on. 

The truth of the matter is that when you allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask for help, you change and you allow another the opportunity to serve and love you.  Learning to ask for help is just as important as giving help to others.  Maybe more important.

I recently experienced the power of asking for help. I took a big risk by being vulnerable and shared what was coming up for me.  After years of working on myself and deep healing, I felt shame that I was still experiencing some lower energy of not feeling deserving.  I am currently involved in an online bootcamp  for Spiritual Entreprenurers.  We are encouraged to use the discussion board each week and share what’s going on.  I decided to be authentic and ask the group for help.  Instead of feeling judged and wrong, I received love and understanding and comfort.   

After I sent the email to the group, I called my friend Linda in tears and asked for help.  She said, “come over to my house right now and I will do energy healing on you and make you dinner.”   I was already in my pajamas and had no make-up on.  I said, “Ok, I will be right there.”  I grabbed a coat and put it over my pajamas and jumped in the car. This was big for me, going out in my pajamas and no make-up on!   I never go out without make-up on (and pajamas on.) 

As I drove to her house, I already started to feel better. I felt like I had taken off my mask and was allowing her to be with me and love me just as I am.  How liberating it felt.  Her love and care touched me deeply.  I felt peaceful and re-energized when I left.  I was back on track knowing the truth of who I am – that I am ONE with God and God is all there is.   All is well.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

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