“For many people, “not knowing” scares them. It means there are places where there is no control. That can be very frightening for those who have had challenging childhoods or lives. However, that fear or doubt can be a portal to a rewarding spiritual life. What if we chose to go into the fear? What if we chose to neither bypass nor judge the fear? What if we chose to acknowledge that Spirit is all things? In that moment, we would understand, at a deep and profound level, that the fear is only energy wanting to be restored to its natural state – wholeness.” Science of Mind pg. 40
As I reflected back on my life after reading this, I know I have walked in faith through my fears one step at a time. There was a time that I was terrified of not being in control and not knowing what was next in my life. Don’t let anyone tell you that this is easy, because it is not, especially if you came from a dysfunctional home.
I was determined to live my life to the fullest and not let my childhood of abuse and parental alcoholism destroy me. I became resilient and was willing to do whatever I needed to do to heal and be healthy. I started therapy, went to workshops, retreats, practiced EFT, rebirthing, did energy healing work and probably read every self-help book on the market. Can you relate? I can truly say today that it was worth every penny and every hour that I put into it. I would not be where I am today, living in paradise, if I hadn’t faced my fears and moved through them. Where is Spirit calling you to move through your fears?
Many of you are new to my weekly blog and don’t know my story and how I was filled with fear and, most importantly, how I overcame it. I would like to share some of the highlights of my experiences over the last several years and how that fear became a portal for a rewarding spiritual life and my dream of living on the ocean in Maui.
I divorced my husband of 30 years almost 14 years ago because I wasn’t happy and we weren’t growing and evolving as a couple. That took a lot of courage and strength to ask for a divorce and to live on my own and start a new life. It was the best decision I made because it really forced me to grow; to believe in myself and take care of myself.
I retired from my full time job (at 62) as a therapist of 20 years to start a new career as a spiritual coach, author and speaker. That opened the door to many marvelous opportunities and miracles – especially living in Maui.
My journey to Maui started in 2010 when I was invited to stay with a woman named Ellen (my angel.) Ellen came to the church in which I was speaking at in Rhode Island and afterward, invited me to stay with her in her home in Maui. Ellen and I laugh when we talk about it now, because we didn’t know each other at all and I was coming to stay with her for Thanksgiving for 2 weeks. That was the beginning of a MAJOR life change. I had no idea that I would move to Maui 2 years later.
THE VIEW FROM ELLEN’S & WHERE I LIVED FOR 6 MONTHS
In 2011, Ellen invited me to stay in her home while she was traveling for 1 month. It was during that stay that I heard the “small, still voice of God” calling me back to live in Maui for 6 months. After praying about it and talking with family and friends, I made the decision to rent my home in Rhode Island so I could come to live in Maui.
“My plan” was to work and do workshops, speaking engagements and coaching while I was living in Maui. God had another plan and I am so glad I didn’t fight the “Divine Plan” because I have grown so much. I have worked all my life with raising a family, working full time, attending school, etc. that it was difficult at first to just BE – which is what God was inviting me to do. In prayer one day, I heard God say, “I just want to love you, you don’t have to DO anything.” God provided for me in so many ways and one of the miraculous ways I was provided for was to live on the ocean in a beautiful condo with friends for $300 a month. To stay in a hotel in Maui, the average rate for one night is $240. I just figured it out and it would have cost me $7,200 to stay in Maui for a month. I lived there for 6 months! God is good.
When I am pushing to make things go my way and wanting “My Plan” there is no peace in my heart. There is nothing more important than love and peace in my heart. I strive daily to surrender to “God’s Plan” and to listen to the “small, still voice within.” Even if I am afraid and I have been, I allow myself to go into the fear and really feel it, process it and move forward. I know I can trust God that all of my needs will be provided for and doors will open at the perfect and right timing.
While I lived in Maui for 6 months, I heard the “small, still voice of God” inviting me to go back to Rhode Island, put my house up for sale and move to Maui to live permanently. With the grace of God, prayer and meditation, I listened and returned to Rhode Island in July 2012 to put my house on the market. I moved back to Maui in September and found a beautiful ohana to rent. I have met so many wonderful people that I know that I am home. My heart sings as I walk along the ocean every day, smile and say hello to people.
I just received an email from my son, Tim, after he read my last blog where I wrote, “How did I get here?”
HOW DID YOU GET TO MAUI?????
“I’ll tell you how- you dreamed it for years! You’ve always talked about living on the ocean. You just thought it was going to be Narragansett, Rhode Island! Little did you know that spirit had much bigger plans for you! It’s funny- that has happened to me before too. I’m thinking “how did this happen”? And then i see an old vision board or the mind movie again- OOooooohhhhhh yeah! I dreamt it!”
What do you want in your life? What fears do you need to face and move through so you can live your dreams? With God, all things are possible. You must see it on the inside first before it manifests on the outside. You must dream it, visualize it, believe it and let it happen. Fear is useless, what is needed is trust.
I am Divinely Guided – Creative Ideas, Ernest Holmes
Our mind is the Mind of God within us. God has no problems for God is the presence and the power that knows all things. If we but take our problem to that high place in our consciousness, it will disappear as we feel the answer is taking the place of the problem. There is nothing that can keep this from happening except our own thought of doubt or limitation. Today I affirm I am divinely guided and that the Spirit goes before me and paves the way. There is that within which knows what to do and how to do it, and it compels me to act on what it knows. Therefore, I shall do that which I should do, I shall know what I need to know, I shall encounter those new ideas that I need.
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