Browsing all articles tagged with detachment

THE POWER OF DETACHMENT

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly)     Comments No comments
Apr
11

I recently had an experience with a family member that I had to practice what I preach. Unfortunately, I was into the “Blame Game.” I know better, right? 

I dug into my “spiritual tool box” and searched for the tool I needed to feel better and bring myself back to center. I clearly needed to practice DETACHMENT. How did I know I needed to detach? Easy, my mind was like a blender and I couldn’t stop thinking about what my family member said and did. It felt like I was about to explode and of course, I thought I was right! I took a walk to clear my head and breathe. I kept repeating to myself detach, detach, detach over and over again. I didn’t know what else to do to bring myself back to peace. It worked and relief came.

When I judge and make someone else wrong (and me right) I am in trouble because I am living in victim consciousness.When I am in victim consciousness, I’m not willing to take responsibility that my soul attracted this situation or person that I’m blaming and judging, so that I can heal limiting beliefs I have that are not true about who I am. Through God’s grace, I became willing to see the perfection in what I had attracted into my life and was willing to stop blaming and judging my family member.  Rather than coming from a place of anger, blame and judgment, I was able to come from a place of love. I was then able to forgive myself and my family member for what I had “perceived” as their wrong doing.

Detachment is a powerful tool that I practice when I get out of balance and lose my peace. I choose to love and not live in victim consciousness. It is a choice. What are you choosing today? Are you living in victim consciousness or are you coming from a place of love?   

 

Addictions & Spirituality

Posted Posted by admin in Helpful Articles     Comments No comments
Apr
16

                                         

Have you been affected by someone else’s drinking or drugging? Do you stay up at night worrying about someone you love?  Are you frustrated that your efforts of trying to control haven’t worked? 

What does Spirituality have to do with addiction?  It has everything to do with it. Addiction is a family disease that affects the person abusing as well as family members.  It is a Spiritual disease and the way to recover is through developing Spirituality. This disease has been likened to as having a “hole in the soul.”

Spirituality is the life of the spirit and an awareness of a presence sometimes alone in stillness and sometimes with others. It is a “connectedness” with self, others and a Power greater than yourself. That Power may be referred to as Higher Power, God, Source, Universe – whatever is comfortable for you.  It’s important to understand Spirituality is not religion. Unfortunately, many people have been turned off by organized religion and think Spirituality is religion. You can be religious and not spiritual and spiritual and not religious

When someone is actively drinking or drugging, they are disconnected from themselves, from others and from their Source. They are lonely, scared and confused. Often their lives are out of control and they’ve lost family members, jobs, homes due to their addiction. It is devastating for the person who is addicted as well as for family members. 

Family members often blame themselves, try to control their loved one and in the end lose themselves. Being involved with an addicted person for any length of time and trying to reason with them can be discouraging.  Children suffer because they think that if the parent really loved them, they would stop using.  Many have turned to  Al-anon and Al-ateen to cope with this devastating and life threatening disease. In Al-anon you learn the three C’s. You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it and you can’t cure it. 

The stress of living with someone who is addicted can have numerous effects:  

Physical:   You may develop health problems, such as headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia, upset stomach, colitis, or heart problems

Emotional: You may feel angry, resentful, irritable, lonely, guilty or depressed 

Social: In relating to others, you may be withdrawn, aloof, isolated, embarrassed, aggressive, or controlling 

Spiritual: Your outlook on life may become bitter, despairing, helpless, hopeless or lacking in faith 

As family members, we learn we can’t “fix” the addicted person. We need to allow addicts the dignity to recover at their own pace. Learning to detach with love is a skill that must be learned and practiced on a daily basis.

Detachment is regaining your identity and taking responsibility for your own life – and admitting you cannot control the life of another person. Detaching does not mean that you stop caring. It means that you stop trying to control someone else. You need to focus on yourself and make changes in you.

                                    Tips on how to develop Spirituality and live in peace

  1. Detach and stop enabling – the chemically dependent person must be responsible for their behavior. You can no longer step in and pick up the pieces. It’s important to stop lying, making excuses and covering up for the person’s actions.
  2. Accept – that changes you make may cause others to be angry and resentful. Expect that. Expect them to react to the healthy changes you are making.
  3. Do not threaten – Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.
  4. Focus on yourself and what you can change –  Discover what you like to do and what gives you pleasure. Do little things for yourself each day that you enjoy; going for a walk, listening to music, starting a hobby, going out to lunch with a friend.
  5. “Show up” everyday and develop a spiritual practice of sitting down for 5 minutes and being quiet. Journal and meditating are wonderful tools to incorporate.
  6. Identify your feelings and share them with someone you trust.
  7. Practice an attitude of gratitude by focusing on what you do have, rather than what’s missing.
  8. Have faith that you have everything you need and you are in the presence of a loving presence and you are not alone.
  9. Change your thinking and your life will change.
  10. Join a recovery group.
  11. Work with a Spiritual Counselor/Coach 

                      
  What is Spiritual Counseling/Coaching and how it can help you

The purpose of spiritual counseling/coaching is to assist you in finding God in the midst of life events, and to prayerfully support you during life changes. It is designed to inspire and awaken you to all possibilities of spiritual growth in your life. It is to help you focus on the solution as your build your conscious awareness of God’s presence and activity in your life. Spiritual counseling/coaching will help you meet life’s challenges from a new consciousness of connection with God.

For more information about Spiritual Coaching contact Pat @ 401-521-6783 or Pat@SimplyaWomanofFaith.com

newsletter sign-up

Stay updated by signing up!


Listen to Finding The God of Your Understanding

Simply A Woman of Faith

Pat’s book, Simply A Woman of Faith, is available for only $16.45 (incl. S&H).
Click here to order.

VIEW SAMPLE CHAPTER




Recent Articles


Share This Experience!


Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
PO Box 28844
Providence, RI 02908
pat@simplyawomanoffaith.com
401-862-8859