Browsing all articles tagged with higher power

“I threw down my moped and screamed FU God”

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Aug
2

I am in Rhode Island for the month of July, so I decided to send you something from my book, Simply a Woman of Faith. This chapter is called “God is my travel agent.” Enjoy!Thank you God, I know this is going to be a magnificent week… and the sun will come out. I woke up bright and early the next day. The rain had finally stopped, but no sunshine yet. Well, soon, I knew the sun would shine. I couldn’t wait to rent a moped and tour the island remembering how it felt with the wind blowing on my face those thirty years ago. Riding a moped in Bermuda, at seventeen years old seemed easy. I told myself it would come back to me, just like riding a bike.

 

I called the moped shop the next day and asked if they would deliver a moped to the hotel. It didn’t take them long to arrive at my doorstep. When the man arrived with my moped, he looked me over and asked doubtfully, “Lady, have you ever ridden a moped before?” “Sure, when I came here thirty years ago.” I smugly replied. He smiled and said, “Let’s see what you remember.” He showed me the basics in the parking lot – how to turn, stop, speed up and how to turn it off. It’s always a sign that I’m nervous when my hands sweat – and they were sweating profusely. I tried to act confident, but he could see the panic in my eyes. “Are you sure you’re okay? I can stay while you practice in the parking lot.” “I’d love your help,” I answered.

He patiently watched me as I tried to maneuver the bike around. The bike jerked when I stopped and I almost went into the wall. I kept practicing going around and around until I felt confident and ready to ride on my own. “If you have any problems, call me for help.” I thanked him as he opened the door of his truck and waved and drove off. Pat, you can do this. Just take your time, don’t get nervous. You did it when you were seventeen; you can do it now.  I placed the helmet gently on my head, started up the bike and began my tour of the island. I concentrated on staying on the opposite side of the street, knowing it would be easy to forget and end up in the wrong lane. Smooth sailing until I hit the traffic in downtown Bermuda. Well, I didn’t literally hit it!  Oh my God, I’m having a panic attack. I can’t breathe.  I could hardly see through the tears burning my eyes. My heart pounded a mile a minute and my hands clutched tightly on the gears. I need help God or I’m going to get myself killed. What the hell am I doing in the middle of the traffic at lunch hour?

I managed to get the moped to the side of the street and breathed a sigh of relief. I had to calm myself down and pull myself together. God sent me an angel. A policeman sitting on the side of the street saw how pale I was, all the color drained from my face. “Do you need help?” he asked.I blurted out, “Please help me get out of this traffic before I cause an accident.” He smiled and motioned me to follow him. He stayed with me for quite awhile until I felt comfortable on the moped and in traffic. I just needed a little practice, I told myself.I felt proud of myself that I made it home safely and in one piece.

The next day the pouring rain and threatening black skies kept me inside all day. I made the best of it and cuddled up in front of the window, leisurely reading my Danielle Steel novel, sipping a hot flavorful mug of chai. As I listened to the weather station on the radio every hour on the hour, my enthusiasm faltered.  God, why did you bring me to this beautiful paradise only to wilt in the rain and stormy weather? I don’t understand. Please help me to trust you.

The next day the sun peeked through the clouds. Finally, the weather appeared to be turning. With new found confidence in my moped skills and my trusty map in my pocket, I jumped on my moped and began anew to tour the island. Yes I can do this, smooth sailing, I knew I would remember. Then, without any warning, my bike stalled on the side of the road. Panic struck. What am I going to do now? I turned the key slowly to see if I could get it started. The bike just wouldn’t start no matter what I did. I looked around the desolate stretch of road- no one in sight to ask for help. I sat there for awhile completely paralyzed and void of any intelligible thought. Fear gripped me in the pit of my stomach as the sweat poured down my forehead.   You should never have come here alone. What if someone robs you? Or kidnaps you? People take advantage of stranded women all the time. How could you be so stupid as to put yourself in this situation.

 

As I sat there wondering what to do next, a man drove by on his moped and saw me sitting there. God sent another angel to help.”What’s wrong?” “My moped stalled and I can’t get it started,” I replied. “Let me see what I can do.” In a second he came up with the diagnosis. “Your gas tank is empty.” “Gas tank empty?” I hadn’t even asked the man who delivered the moped where the gas tank was. I blushed as I tried to make excuses for my stupidity. “I didn’t think the gas would run out. Why didn’t they show me where the gas tank was in the first place?” I blurted out. I had to blame someone. “There’s a gas station right up the street. I’ll go and get you some gas.” As I sat there waiting for the gas, I thanked God for sending me this nice, helpful Bermudian rather than the Boston Strangler. When he returned, I paid him for the gas, thanked him profusely for his help and resumed my island tour.

I looked forward to riding to St. George for lunch. Even though it was on the other side of the island, it would be worth the trip. I remembered the quaint little shops and eating in the restaurant that served rich chocolate cake that melted in my mouth. As I drove into St. George, all I could see was the majestic cruise ships lined up along the ocean front. People were standing on the decks watching and waving to those passing by. I leisurely strolled around town enjoying the sights and taking my time to browse in the novelty shops. I stopped to watch a man making glass jewelry. I finally felt that vacation sense of freedom, as I strolled along the streets browsing in shops.

 

I found a cozy restaurant tucked away behind the famous St. George cathedral. I expected my trip back to be uneventful as I strapped on my helmet and started up my moped. The air felt different and it seemed a little darker. I looked up in the sky and knew rain was only minutes away.I have to get back on my own, no matter what. Maybe I can make it before it gets really bad. God, what’s going on? Where’s the sun? I don’t even have a raincoat with me. As I raced against time to get back to Angels Grotto, black ominous clouds threatened from above and the cold wind chilled my weary bones.Within minutes, the rain poured down and the sky opened up. I could hardly see as the hail and ice balls hit my face. As each car sped by, water splashed my feet, legs, arms and even my head.

 

Between my tears and the pouring rain, I could hardly see in front of me. I held on for dear life.I had to keep going, no matter what. My body trembled with fear and I felt my heart pound inside my chest. God help. I’m scared to death and my life is in danger.Up ahead, as I squinted to see, I spotted a covered shelter for people waiting for buses. If I can reach that shelter, I can get out of the rain and be safe until it passes. Keep going Pat. You’re gonna make it. Just keep moving and you’ll be safe.  As I approached the shelter, I could see it was empty. I turned off my moped, threw it on the ground and screamed at God at the top of my lungs. F U God.

I felt the anger rise up from a place deep within me. I didn’t get angry at God – ever. What was going on with me? I have no idea how long I sat on the ground sobbing uncontrollably, but it seemed like time had stopped. I realized that all my life I held in my anger and I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Once it started, it wouldn’t let up until it ran its course. After this outburst and release of anger, I calmed down and felt better. Although totally spent and exhausted, I knew deep down that something had shifted inside of me. The weather had shifted as well.

The rain had stopped and I couldn’t wait to get back to the hotel. Drenched and cold, I peeled off my clothes layer by layer, then soaked in a hot tub for over an hour, adding hot water as it cooled. As soon as my head hit the pillow that evening, I was out and I slept like a baby. When I woke up the next morning, the sun shone brightly through my window. I listened to the bird’s song and felt renewed. I felt transformed, healed and loved. Looking out my window at the pale blue clear sky, I felt peaceful, serene and grateful as if enveloped in God’s loving presence.

God, something feels different inside, what happened yesterday? I feel lighter and more alive. Where did all that anger come from? I’m sorry God for blaming you and saying what I did.

Sitting in prayer and meditating the next day, I sensed the beginning of getting in touch with a well of deep unresolved anger from my childhood. I didn’t know how much anger I had inside of me until my moped incident. I could no longer keep the lid on my anger because it was destroying me. I thought about the headaches and not sleeping – they were probably a result of my unresolved anger and holding things in.

I think God, in His ultimate wisdom, allowed this to happen so I could begin to release the anger from the sexual abuse that I’d buried for years. He knew it would take a lot for me to get angry – alone in Bermuda on a moped during a hail storm did it. Clearly, the release was more important to my well-being than having beautiful weather. Yes, I was angry and wanted to blame God for the bad weather, and for my fears of getting electrocuted or having an accident on the moped.

God had thrown His thunderbolts and created the perfect circumstances to free and heal me. I thought I was going to Bermuda to rest and relax in the sunshine. God had other plans, better plans. He knew exactly what I needed.

 

My stuff came up & I am transformed by the renewal of my mind

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Apr
25

When my friend, Ellen, invited me to Maui for 2 weeks in November, 2010, I had no idea I would be living in Paradise 2 years later. God had a plan and I just kept saying YES to the invitation – not having any idea what it would look like or how it would happen.  Step by step, I faced my fears and moved into the mystery and the unknown.

I see today that My “PLAN” was not God’s plan and I am grateful that I had the grace to surrender, let go and allow God to lead and guide me (not without struggle, at times). Before I moved to Maui for 6 months in January 2012, while I was in Maui in November, 2011, I spoke at 2 churches and presented a workshop for women at the Senior Center.  So of course, I thought when I moved to Maui in January 2012, I would continue to do this. My “PLAN” was to continue my work as an inspirational speaker, retreat leader and spiritual coach.  I realize today that God needed to do “some work” in me and I needed to do some “letting go” before I moved forward in this way. It was not God’s timing or God’s plan.

Before I moved to Maui I was warned that all of my “stuff” would come up. I felt a little smug and thought I had worked for so many years on my stuff already, I was safe. Silly me, I should have known better because whenever we are being called to a higher level of consciousness or some big change is occurring in our lives, our stuff comes up. If I am honest, even though I don’t like it at first, I welcome my “stuff” coming up because I want to be the best I can be, so I can serve and be a vessel for God in the purest way. My stuff has come up (as I have shared in my weekly blogs) and with the grace of God, I have been transformed. I read in one of my spiritual books, “While you wait in my presence, I do my best work within you to transform you by the renewal of your mind.”

I wrote in my blog of Jan. 24, 2012 – Waiting has not been my favorite thing to do, but I have learned over the years that it is essential to my spiritual health and well-being to wait on God. I arrived in Maui 5 days ago and it is beyond words how grateful I feel for this opportunity and adventure. In prayer this morning, I became aware of “old behaviors” creeping in and robbing me of my peace. Rather than resting in the energy of BEING and trusting in the divine plan to unfold in its own time and own way, I felt tempted to control and make things happen. I thanked God for this awareness and strengthened my resolve to live in the moment and trust the divine plan. “By waiting and by calm, I shall be saved, in quiet and trust lies my strength.”

When I arrived in Maui in January 2012, I was surprised when I had “no desire” to call the churches, do workshops or coach others. “What was going on”, I wondered.  As I shared earlier, I struggled with this because this was not MY PLAN.

I wrote in my blog of March 6, 2012,  I FINALLY GOT IT and I am so grateful! It will be seven weeks since I have been in paradise and it has been quite a ride!  I am happy to report that, not only am I living in Paradise but I have found Paradise inside of me. I had a major shift in my consciousness while in prayer this week. Deep within my soul, I knew the reason I was here was to receive God’s love. It seemed so simple and yet profound. I said, “God, do you mean I don’t have to do anything?” “Yes, I want you to experience my unconditional love without having to do anything. How will you be able to receive the love from your soul mate that I have planned for you if you are unable to experience my love completely and unconditionally?” Wow, I knew God was speaking to my heart. It’s been over two weeks since I received this message and I feel an incredible freedom to enjoy the present moment, to be in the flow of the Spirit and to trust each moment and experience to unfold perfectly. I am invited to play in God’s playground and enjoy every moment. This is a gift from God with no strings attached. I don’t have to do anything to earn it.

During this time of waiting, I read a book called “Faith” by A.C. Ping. Here is what it said: “One of the most frustrating times along the spiritual path occurs when NOTHING seems to be happening.  Not only do we have lots of time to think, but at the same time people keep asking you “What’s happening?” On the surface nothing seems to be happening, but underneath a great shift is occurring. Instead of feeling frustrated, it may be that life is giving you a safe place to rest and gather your energy for the journey ahead. You may not be able to see which way to go, but if you sit patiently, have faith that life has meaning and wait until the mist clears, you may find that one day you wake up to a bright blue sky that reveals a clear path leading to an even more beautiful mountain than the one you just climbed. The temptation will be to run around in the mist searching for guidance. But this will wear you out and until you stop and rest, no further path will be revealed to you until you have the energy to attempt the next climb. Trust that although nothing seems to be happening on the surface, a whole lot is happening below the surface.”

As I write this blog, it is hard to believe that it has been 15 months since I have been living and playing in paradise. I have listened to my intuition and not attempted to further my career in any way. I have trusted that although nothing seemed to be happening on the surface, a whole lot was happening below the surface.”

A couple of months ago, I attended a talk with my friend, Jodene, and after the talk I said, “You know, something is stirring in me because I miss speaking and doing workshops. I will pray about it and ask God to open the door and bring to me what it is that I am to do – if anything.” I let it go and felt peaceful.

I met, Kati, a year ago when we were on a retreat together. I was drawn to her – she was a shining light and I loved her energy.  We exchanged emails but it wasn’t time for us YET! She lived on the other side of the island and we didn’t get together until I moved here this past September.  I had the opportunity to house- sit in Makawa, Maui before I moved into my home in Kihei.  Kati lived 2 minutes away and was friends with the women I house- sat for.  Kati and I reconnected and spent time together having fun and playing.

A couple of months ago, as Kati and I shared our spiritual journey with one another, we both felt that God was calling us to do something together. We didn’t know what it was, but we agreed to pray about it. A few weeks ago, Kati invited me to come and paint with her at her new home on the ocean and I was really excited to paint with her.  I am not sure how it happened but before we knew it, we were planning a day of healing together. It just flowed from both of us easily and effortlessly. There was no struggle, only ease and grace. Kati painted the flyer as I painted the ocean.

I am amazed and grateful how this has unfolded so easily. We are on fire and so excited to share our gifts with women. The title is “This is What I am Here For.”  Celebration of your Divine Feminine Mother Earth.  Discover inner clarity about “This is what I am here for” as Divine Feminine grounded in the arms of Mother Earth.  Join in Celebration, Meditation, Revelation, Forgiveness, Healing, Visioning, Dancing, Ritual and Laughter as your gift to Self.It will be held on May, 11, 2013.

WATCH OUT MAUI BECAUSE KATI AND I ARE COMING OUT

I had totally forgotten about this until recently. My daughter, Mary, gave me the gift of an astrology reading for Christmas. I was really surprised when he said, “Something significant would happen in my career in the month of May.” I had given up “my career” and I didn’t understand.  I wasn’t interested in my career any more; I wanted to know when I was going to meet my soul mate – more waiting on this one!  God does have a sense of humor. I don’t know what’s ahead, not even sure I want a “career”  and that is okay. I will trust God’s will and timing.

Gods timing is perfect. “My good is revealed in diving timing. I choose not to struggle with or force circumstances in my life. I know the time will be right when I feel a nudge from Spirit to move in the right direction. I pay attention to my intuition, knowing that inner wisdom and divine understanding direct me.”

    

  

“Do I deserve to receive a 12- day all expense cruise?”

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Apr
18

I would like to share with you what Spirit revealed to me in prayer yesterday.  I picked an angel card and it was the angel of TRUST. This is what it said, “You are about to experience an accelerated period of spiritual growth and breakthrough in which your definitions of love will change. You are encouraged to maintain your trust and belief in yourself as a worthy and effective vehicle of positive action. Whatever your fears, insecurities, the angels are working with you to bring you into greater clarity with the nature of love. Love is the capacity to allow all other living things to grow into the fullest expression of self. The love that you are learning to give is the same that you long to receive: without judgment, acceptance of differences, kind and forgiving, hopeful and courageous. TRUST holds love in place in your life.

I believe this message is not only for me, but for you who are reading this. Love is all there is. We all want to be loved and to love. It is who we are and where we came from. God is love, we are love.  We are called to love our neighbor as ourselves.  Many ask, what is my purpose in life? I believe that my purpose in life is to love. First and foremost, I must love myself. Can I really love another if I don’t love myself? I don’t know all the answers, but I don’t think so. Since God and I are ONE can I love God if I don’t love myself?

Learning to love myself has been a lifelong process and will be until I leave this earth. I have shared in other blogs that there was a time that I didn’t love myself or believe in myself. I compared myself to others and beat up on myself when I didn’t measure up or I made a mistake. I have an example that happened this morning that I could see my growth. I woke up early because I had to go to the lab and get blood tests. I found the paper I needed to bring with me and put it on the kitchen table. I got dressed and off I went to the lab. I arrived at the lab and was about to get out of the car when I spotted a man walking in with a piece of paper in his hands. I said out loud, “Oh, I left the paper on the kitchen table.” I immediately started thanking God (because it is my belief that all things happen for my good) and turned my car around and drove home to get the paper. I didn’t say one disparaging remark to myself about forgetting the paper. What would you have said to yourself? Be honest! 

Another thought just came to me. If I don’t love myself, can I truly allow another to love me? I don’t know. I have to ask myself, “Do I feel deserving and worthy of love?”  How many times have we blocked our good and what God wants to give us because we didn’t feel worthy and deserving? I remember when my friend Ellen invited me to stay in her condo in Maui (while she was away) for a month in 2011. I was feeling “unsettled and guilty” the week before the trip and as I prayed about it, Spirit showed me on a deeper level that I was feeling unworthy and undeserving. Thankfully, I recognized this distorted belief and quickly changed it to the truth of who I am as a child of God. Today, I am living and loving in Maui. I shudder to think that I could have blocked my good and receiving this gift to live in Maui because I didn’t feel deserving and worthy (which sometimes masked itself as guilt).

I read in Alan Cohen’s book, “Enough Already.”  “I do not worry about what will happen in the future or “someday.” Deep in my soul, I AM READY to be a full expression of God’s spirit right now. I give thanks for the opportunity to fulfill my heart’s desires. Aligning my thoughts with Spirit, I proclaim what is true about me and for me. Align your thoughts, feelings, words and actions with a success attitude and positive events will follow. People who have an abundance mentality keep attracting more of what they want and need. Those with a lack mentality keep attracting something missing.”

For a long time it has been my heart’s desire to travel. I was a speaker on the Norwegian Cruise Ship to Mexico In January, 2012.  I had a fabulous time and since then, I have wanted to go on another cruise. Every time I see the Norwegian cruise ship in the Kahului Harbor, I say to myself or to whoever I am driving with, “I really want to go on another cruise.” I even have a picture of a cruise ship on my kitchen cabinet.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend, Larry,  invited me to go with him on a 12- day cruise to Denmark, Norway, Sweden, German and Scotland – all expenses paid! We will fly into London and spend 3 days there and then go on the cruise.  I have never been to Europe nor have I ever traveled with a man other than my husband or finance. I know friends of the opposite sex travel together all the time, but this is new territory for me, for sure.  I asked myself some questions:

*Did I attract this gift into my life by aligning my thoughts and feelings to what Spirit wanted for me?

*Could I accept this trip as a gift from God?

*Did I feel deserving and worthy?

*Could I trust myself and my intuition that this was right for me?

*Was I willing to take a risk and travel with someone of the opposite sex (without any strings attached?)

*Was I ready to be a full expression of God’s spirit and fulfill my heart’s desires?

Of course, I felt excited about the prospect of going to Europe on a cruise. I told Larry, “I will pray about it and let you know.” I can hear some of you who are reading this-pray about it, are you nuts? Well, I did pray about it and went inside to see how it felt. I felt peaceful and excited. I have learned to trust my inner guidance and intuition as God’s voice within.

I am happy to say that the answer is YES to Larry’s invitation to go on a cruise with him. I say yes to God and to all the good that God wants to give me. I am deserving and worthy to give and receive more love in my life. I realize that I have received more than I asked for because the universe had a bigger idea for me than I had for myself. TRUST holds love in place in my life.

The Wind Star (name of ship we will be sailing on) is a sleek, four-masted sailing yacht accommodating 148 guests. With four decks and a gross tonnage of 5,350, the Wind Star feels like your own private yacht. Wind Star features wide open, teak decks—quite unusual for small ships. With over 10,000 square feet of open deck space, guests will find hidden nooks for private moments giving them a feeling of being on their own private verandah.

I just received an email from a friend and this is what she wrote: When you surrender to the wind…you can FLY!!  And that is exactly what I find myself doing. Without controlling the how, why, and where…great blessings are appearing…and offering me the opportunity to SOAR!!  Life has lifted me from the stagnant waters of hesitation…and placed me smack dab in the center of experiential BLISS!!

 

YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT; ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS WHAT YOU WANT

This is a subtle but paramountly important and exciting key to personal success. It means that there is much more to the universe than we have believed, and if we really expect to realize our dreams, we must allow God to deliver our blessings to us in ways deeper than we can plan and understand. There is an old saying that “The Lord moves in mysterious ways.” God is like the driver of a universal Greyhound bus. Once we have decided where we want to go, we can “sit back and leave the driving to Him.” If we would just choose a nice window sear and relax, we would find ourselves as our destination in no time. Instead, we make it hard for ourselves because first of all we are not sure which bus to get on; we vacillate at the ticket counter, mulling indecisively over a number of possible destinations. The agent can’t sell us a ticket if we don’t tell him where we want to go. Then once we’ve made our decision and we’ve stepped aboard the Greyhound to God, we immediately try to wrestle the wheel away from the Driver, insisting we know a better way. Then, even after we have surrendered the wheel and we arrive, we have a tendency to want to hide in the back of the bus, wondering if this is really where we want to go. And maybe we should turn back.  Alan Cohen – Rising in Love pg 75

I would like to end with my favorite scripture. “For I know the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29-13   

“This is to personal God, I am not sharing it”

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Apr
2

“I open my heart and mind to be aware that I have allowed what others believe about me to become what I believe about myself.  If you fail to take the time to question why you do what you do, you can become convinced that you cannot do anything else.  Other people will help you feel convinced. People are in the habit of telling other people who they are. They tell you who they expect you to be, who they need you to be and who they want you to be.”   Until Today – Iyanla Vanzant –  March 18

It is much easier to write about something in my life that I have changed and that has been transformed by the grace of God.  It’s more difficult and vulnerable to write about something that is in the process of being transformed and healed because there is the fear of being judged or misunderstood.  It has been my intention each week to be as honest and authentic as I can be because I want to do God’s will and be a pure instrument of love.  I know that openness breeds openness.

In last week’s blog, I wrote about the importance of celebrating our growth and acknowledging where we have come from. I think it is equally important to honor and love those parts of ourselves that still need God’s healing touch and grace. This week I will share with you a struggle that I have had for many, many years.

About a month ago, I worked with a recurring dream that was very significant.  After writing in my journal, I said to God, “I am not sharing this in a blog.  You really don’t want me to share this, do you? This is too personal.”  Today, I heard Spirit say, “Yes, I want you to write about this in your blog today.” As I thought and prayed about it, I realized that if I am struggling with it, there may be others out there who could also be struggling with it. I share this part of my life with you in humility and faith, trusting that God is healing me and will heal you if this is your struggle.

It has been my experience and my belief that God speaks to us through our dreams.  I dreamt that my first boyfriend Steve left me. I know that every part of the dream is about me. In working with past dreams with Steve in them, I know that he represents my animus (which is the male part of me.) There is a technique that I use where I dialogue with the object in the dream to get clarity on the wisdom of the dream. This is what was revealed to me.

I dialogued with Steve and asked him, “Why are you in my dream and what is your gift?” I was surprised when he said, “I am here to teach you about love.” I answered, “What do you mean?” He replied, “Loving yourself is the most important relationship you have.” I was confused because I thought I was loving myself and wrote, “I am loving myself more than I have ever loved myself. Do I leave myself and if I do, how do I do it?”

I sat quietly for a few seconds and then it came bubbling up to the surface. “Oh, my body image, is that it, God? Do I not love, honor and cherish my body?” I felt deep within that this is what I needed to look at and where I needed healing.  I then began to write a letter of forgiveness to myself forgiving myself for the years of “beating up” on myself, for judging my body for not being good enough, for feeling fat and not skinny enough.  I wrote, “I want it to STOP NOW. It will STOP NOW! I want to love, treasure and honor the body you have given me. I ask for your help God, I need your grace.” I know that if I don’t love my body, I will not be open to a man loving my body. It all starts with me.

I became honest with myself and admitted that I have obsessed about my weight and how I look all of my life. I ate cottage cheese and peaches for a week so I could fit into the dress for the wedding that was too tight. I have probably been on every kind of diet there was at one time or another; the grapefruit diet, soup diet, Atkins diet and “Weight Watchers.” I know there are more, but I can’t remember them now.

YUCK, embarrassing and not easy to admit, but I also know that the truth will set me free.  I choose to bring to the light what has been hidden so that God’s love will heal me. For those of you who know me personally and because of the pictures I send each week, you might think, “She’s crazy and I wish I had her body.”  You may wish you had my body, but being obsessed about weight and body image is not something you want.  This is distorted thinking and crazy!

God brought to mind that it started when I was very young.  When I was 12 years old, my mother, who was on a diet, took me to a doctor to get diet pills. I was not overweight!  As an adult, whenever my father visited me, he would comment, “You gained weight or you lost weight and you look too thin.” I recognized that my unconscious belief has been, “I must be the perfect weight and look perfect to be loved.”  My parents always told me I was pretty, so I believed that I was pretty. As the opening reading said, “I have allowed what others believe about me to become what I believe about myself.  If you tell yourself something long enough, you will believe it- the good and the bad.”

I felt a deep sadness and loss when it sank in that for over 50 years I have lived with this belief.  I went to the ocean and asked Mother Maui to heal and restore me as the tears rolled down my cheeks.  This month I have focused on loving and cherishing my body. My prayer has been “Divine Love, heal my distorted body image.” Every morning when I get out of bed, I look in the mirror and love all parts of my body and I am listening to Oprah and Deepak 21 day meditation series on loving the body.

With God’s grace and my willingness to change, I have stopped beating up on myself that I am too fat. I am giving myself loving kind messages. I know this is a process and will not change overnight, but I know I am on the right track since it has come to the light and I am willing to do what I need to do to heal this distorted image.

Do you love your body or do you beat up on yourself? You may think you are too short or too tall, or you don’t like your hips, or you have too many wrinkles or you are losing your hair.  What don’t you like about your body? Isn’t it time to begin to love and honor the body you are living in?

My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and God wants me to love and care for my body.  I will see myself through God’s eyes – a beautiful creation of love and light. I will love, treasure and honor the body God has given me.  I am grateful that I continue to blossom and grow into the woman God intended me to be.

When I look back on all the other limiting beliefs that God has healed and enabled me to transform, I know that I am using the same processes with healing the limiting beliefs about my body.  I allowed myself to pay attention to the inner messages that were coming up in a dream, I brought the uncomfortable feeling and beliefs into the light and asked for healing, and I became wiling to change what I think and say to myself about who I am, (which is more than the body I am in).  I am starting to feel more and more peaceful and my affirmations are becoming stronger and more natural to me as I practice them on a daily basis.  This is how I have healed everything else in my life and I know that my faith in a loving God and my faith in the power of this inner work will guide me to a place of genuine love and appreciation for the beautiful temple my spirit resides in.

 

Heart Steps – Julia Cameron pg. 59

There is no separation between body and soul, spirit and matter. One essence, one unity, runs through all of life. This essence, the God-force is completely pure, completely perfect. I claim for myself the health and perfection of this divine force. My body is beautiful, sacred and beloved. Spirit infuses my body with radiant goodness. I experience vitality, enthusiasm, energy and power. My physical nature and my spiritual nature are one and the same. My body’s needs and urges are divine in origin.

Currently, 80 percent of women in the U.S. are dissatisfied with their appearance. And more than 10 million are suffering from eating disorders. Why women hate their bodies

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/02/why-do-women-hate-their-bodies/

Put Your Dreams into Action – I Did

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Aug
22

Daily Word

“While change is inevitable, my response or reaction to change is up to me. How can I best prepare myself for change, and how can I make the most of it? Change is a transition from one thing, one place, one state of mind to another. I AM EVOLVING FROM WHAT WAS TO WHAT IS. I AM BECOMING MORE THAN I WAS BEFORE. Just as my view changed as I transitioned from childhood to adulthood, I now see that I am gaining a new perspective during this transition. I may be stepping into unfamiliar territory, but this step is an opportunity to grow in spiritual awareness. With each shift or change in my life, I am moving forward.”

While living in Maui for 6 months, I was open and willing to listen to the inner voice of the Divine guiding me to rest, to BE and to receive God’s unconditional love. As I have shared in other blogs, I was a “HUMAN DOING” and pushed and tried to make things happen. Today, because of “BEING” and letting go, I am experiencing a peace and serenity that l haven’t known to this depth before. It feels like I am in a “Bubble of Grace.” It is truly a miracle that I am not feeling afraid and obsessed with the sale of my house. I stay in peace and gratitude KNOWING God’s timing is perfect and the right and perfect buyer is here now. I may be tempted to travel down the “what if” highway, but I don’t allow myself because that will keep me stuck and in fear. I used to beg God for what I wanted; now I ask, am open to receive, and then say “thank you” and trust.

OMG I am returning to Maui to live in 2 weeks. I am living my dream and am very excited about stepping into the unknown and into God’s arms. The MASTER PLAN is in place and I am saying YES to receive more good in my life. As God helps me to usher out the old (scarcity thinking, stuff in my house, etc.), I am trusting God will be there to welcome me and usher in the new (new life new home, new friends, new church.)

What I have learned about this process is to be clear about what is my work and what is God’s. When I came back to Rhode Island on June 27, it was my intention to stay focused, clean out my house and get it ready to be sold. I also visualized that it would flow with peace, ease and grace. It truly has, and everything I needed was there when I needed it. For example, my friend Steve was going to paint my bedroom and den and I planned on buying the paint the next day. I knew there were lots of old cans of paint in the basement that I was planning to throw away, but I was happily surprised to find 2 gallons of old unopened paint!

I don’t know where they came from! And the best part was that it was the perfect and right color for the rooms. Of course, I was in deep gratitude for the miraculous paint that “showed up.”

My work in this process was to prepare my house to be sold to the best of my ability, to visualize, to trust, to ask for help, to stay positive and grateful. God’s part is the HOW it will unfold. I know God is working behind the scenes and has me covered. God knows more than I do what I need and when the house will sell. God knows the best place for me to live when I land in Maui. When I worry and obsess, I dishonor myself and the God within. It is a choice to trust and walk in faith. What helps me to trust is to remember what God has done for me in the past.

For example, I remember God’s word to me several years ago when I was at a very low point and experiencing debilitating fear. I was in the middle of writing my book and wanted to give up. In fact, I told God “I am not doing it; you have chosen the wrong person.” While at work one day, I opened a magazine and across the page was “I have a plan that will make all of your dreams come true.” I cut it out and still have it as a reminder of how I sobbed with joy when I read it because I knew God was speaking to me. The message gave me the courage and strength to finish my book. I shudder to think how fear almost robbed me of my dream. I am so grateful because I would not be where I am today and moving to Maui to live if I stayed stuck in the fear.

Not only has God “showed up” for me by giving me strength, courage, grace, faith, peace and serenity, but my family and friends have reached out to support and help me by painting rooms, cleaning windows, gardening, cleaning my basement, fixing my toilet and the list goes on and on. I am so GRATEFUL for the love I have experienced.

As I reflect on the past 2 years, I realized that my Hawaii adventure has also been a process. It may look like I spent 6 months in Maui from January to June and made a snap decision to move back there. Not so! Before I even went to Maui for the first time in November 2010 for 2 weeks, I had a psychic reading that I have never forgotten. She said, “Maui is going to be the nucleus of something big.” When I returned home after being in Maui for 2 weeks, I knew that something big had shifted inside of me. All I knew is that I didn’t want to do business the way I was doing it with all the marketing and networking and pushing. It was scary because I didn’t know what was going on and what God was preparing for me. After all, I needed to make money to support myself.

I “showed up” daily to pray and meditate and ask God for guidance and clarity about what my next step was. I had the opportunity to go back to Maui for a month in September 2011 and it was then that I heard God calling me back to Maui for 6 months. This really surprised me because I had never done anything like this and had to work through the “not deserving” voice to follow my heart and God’s calling. We have to be patient with the process of life and be willing to let go of control. Just like many of you, I use to want what I wanted when I wanted it and I kicked and screamed when I didn’t get my own way.

Today, I am learning a better way and that is to go with the flow, live in the present moment, trust that I have everything I need and that all is well. I have learned to trust my inner wisdom and trust God’s guidance in all things. I expect miracles and more good to come into my life. I am passionate about my life, especially when I use my life to inspire others to live their dream. I received this in prayer today.

Goddess Guidance Cards – Doreen Virtue

Aine – Leap of Faith

Take a risk, and put your heart’s true desire into action. Procrastination about your dreams won’t make them go away. Neither will they make them happen. Indecision is the death of the soul’s burning passion to improve, grow and learn. Don’t worry about making a wrong decision. Instead, worry about making no decision at all. Then take time to pray, meditate, investigate, research and make your decision. Once made the universal energies will immediately open as if my magic. The magic, you see, is that you have set your mind to accomplish something. Trust that your intention is clear and right for you. And then take a leaf of faith and jump fully into putting your dreams into action.

 

“How do I know it’s God’s Will?”

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Jul
13

I have always heard that “less was better.” That never worked for me until NOW, especially in regards to my house that I put on the market today. YIKES & YEA, I did it. Up until this point, I always thought I needed more and had to do more and that more was better! I am sure that comes from the old belief that I wasn’t good enough, I didn’t have enough and I wasn’t smart enough. Maybe they could be called the not-enoughisms.

As I look around my house, especially at the empty white walls and no artwork hanging on them, I realized that I am “Pat” no longer there. In the past, whenever people came to my house for the first time, they would always say, “This is YOU Pat and I can feel your energy here.” I enjoy being creative and my house has always been filled with beautiful things & flower arrangements that I made.

Last week, a few of my close girlfriends came by to help me patch holes in the walls, paint, clean windows and wash walls before I put the house up for sale. I asked for their opinions and they were honest and told me the truth. “Pat, this picture needs to be taken down, you need to remove that from the top of the bureau and removing that chair would open up the room.” I was open to their suggestions and followed them all. A few times, I had to literally stand still and say out loud, ” I let go, I let go.” I know and trust as I let go of the old, I know I am opening myself to the new that God has planned for me (and that excites me!) My house is now open and airy without the clutter and “less is better.”

When I met with my real estate agent, Joe, I told him my intention was to sell my house quickly because I wanted to return to Maui on September 5th. He looked surprised and a little dubious. I smiled and said, “Joe, I have to tell you something about me, and who you are dealing with. I am a woman of faith!” Then I gave him my book as a gift and asked him to read Chapter 6 “The Sky God Speaks – Do We Have to Sell Our house, God?” He smiled and said, “I will read the chapter and am looking forward to reading your book.” The next time I saw him he told he that he had read that chapter and now his mother was reading the book because she saw it on his coffee table. I know that he will experience the power of faith first hand when my house sells quickly.

Over the years, many people have asked me, “How do you know for sure when it’s God’s will for you to do something and not just your own will?” The only way to know that is to first develop a relationship with your Source, God, Spirit, Buddha or whatever name you choose to call your Higher Power. For me, that includes a daily spiritual practice of prayer and meditation, which is crucial to being able to know God’s will for me. It is through these practices that I remember the truth of who I am; that I am ONE with the power and presence of God, and that we are all ONE.

Prayer and meditation are like “Magic Erasers.” They erase “old beliefs and behaviors” that no longer serve me and are not for my highest good. Prayer and meditation help me to let go of the past and “what was” and enables me to be in the present moment, NOW where all of my needs are supplied. When I am in this place of surrender, I feel the love and peace of God and I am open and trust the guidance I receive. I affirm and know that when I am one with God, I am love, I am peace and I am abundance. Then I can radiate love and peace to all I meet and see the divine in all people.

Another way that I know I am in God’s will is through the deep peace I feel in my heart. Since I’ve come back to Rhode Island, I have experienced a peace that passes all understanding. My heart is smiling on the inside and I sometimes feel like I am floating because I feel so blessed and grateful. I am sure this is a result of my 6 months in Maui where I listened to Spirit to BE and not to DO. I learned to go with the flow and follow my heart and intuition. This Sunday, a woman at the spiritual center I attend looked me in the eyes and said, “You look beautiful.” I smiled and immediately said, “Thank you, I feel beautiful.” Now that is the power of God in action because I didn’t always feel beautiful and didn’t always receive compliments gracefully.

Yet another way I know I am in God’s will is through the “signs” and the people God brings into my life to help me along the path. I saw a sign in Maui right before I left that said, “Keep on Path.” I have shared in other emails that God “shows up” through the symbols of the ladybug, turtle and the cardinal. When I went to bed last night, I noticed something small on the inside of the shade next to my bed. I couldn’t believe that a baby ladybug with all its black spots graced me with its presence. As I was driving my car, I spotted an Hawaiian turtle decal with flowers on the back of a car window. When I walked into Shaw’s market the other day, there were Hawaiian flowers in the entrance and when I visited my daughter this weekend, she had an apron on with a red cardinal on it and the cardinals have been singing to me all morning.

Truly, everything is flowing with peace, ease and grace because that is what I expect and that is what I affirm on a daily basis. Remember, we get what we expect. I know that it’s all good and it’s all God. When I open my eyes and heart, God “shows up” in the most unexpected places.

Creative Ideas – Ernest Homes

I Have Great Expectations – With God all things are possible Matt. 19:26

We have every right to expect the unexpected. We should daily affirm that new ideas are coming to us, new ways of doing things, that we are meeting new and wonderful friends, new situations; that joyous things are going to happen to us. I now establish in my thinking an attitude of expectancy of good things. I let go of the limitations of the past and live with an enthusiastic expectancy of the good that I will encounter today. I know that nothing is too good to be true and that nothing is too much for the power that can do anything. I believe in a greater good that I have yet experienced. I keep my mind open to divine intuition which is the wisdom that guides me.

 

 

 

 

 

 


MAY 7, 2011 CONNECT WITH YOUR SPIRIT AND TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE

Posted Posted by admin in Uncategorized     Comments No comments
Apr
8

Join Pat Hastings, Spiritual Life Coach and Ned Arvidson, Certified Transformational Leader

Do you want a deeper connection to Self, Higher Power and Others? Discover the power of your spiritual self, especially in turbulent times. Learn how to strengthen your spiritual practice, decrease your stress, and live in peace. Learn specific tools and techniques to stay peaceful, find balance, meaning, and purpose. Inner peace and real happiness do not come from controlling the world outside, they come from connecting with the Spirit deep within. In this workshop, you will improve your self-esteem, learn how to take care of yourself, and practice self-love. This workshop will benefit anyone who wants a deeper spiritual connection, regardless of your religion or beliefs. It is about connecting with the Spirit within.

-Tools to connect with your source of empowerment and release the power within

-Learn the benefits of spiritual connection to self, higher power and others

-Techniques to reduce stress to promote lasting change

-Identify blocks and beliefs that prevent real love, peace, joy & happiness

-Improved self-esteem and self love

-Encouragement and permission to be who you really are

DATE: May 7, 2011

WHERE: 1240 Pawtucket Ave. E. Providence, RI

TIME: 1-5PM

PRICE: $50

REGISTER: Call Pat @ 401-521-6783

For more information: Pat www. SimplyaWomanofFaith.com & Ned www.nedarvidson.com

HEARING THE SMALL STILL VOICE WITHIN

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly)     Comments No comments
Aug
3

That voice may be referred to as God, Intuition, Spirit, Higher Self, Soul, Higher Power or Universe. People often ask me, “How do you know it’s God giving you messages and not just your own voice?” The answer is: “I don’t always know.  It’s only afterwards when people tell me it was exactly what they needed to hear.”

Sometimes it’s scary, my heart pounds and I want to walk the other way when I receive a message for someone. I could be totally off base. I need to let go of my ego and not worry about what others will think of me. I’ve learned to let go of the outcome.

It’s about trusting God has a Divine Assignment if I’m willing to listen and follow through when I receive a message for someone. It often seems like it comes out of nowhere and just pops into my head. I feel a quickening in my spirit and then I listen and am still.

Listening and following through are key elements. Usually, when I don’t want to do it, it’s a signal that it’s from Spirit. Sometimes I know what I’m going to say and other times, I have no idea and the message comes when I open my mouth. I trust it will come and it always does.

I usually don’t question anymore when I hear the small still voice of God within.  It may not make sense to me, but I do it anyway and then watch the miracles unfold. The following story is one of them.

Mary lived a few blocks away, but I had never just walked to her house to say hello. While taking my walk this one day, I felt a strong pull from Spirit to go to her house.  I had no idea why I was being led there, but found myself taking a right turn into her neighborhood.  I felt disappointed when I arrived because her car wasn’t there.  Did I not hear you right God? I thought you were leading me. 

When I arrived home, I called Mary and left a message that I had visited her. Is there a message you want me to give her God? And the words came. “Believe in yourself, your gifts and trust your journey.”  I hung up not knowing if the words meant anything to her. I didn’t hear from Mary for several days and quickly placed it out of my mind.

Mary called when she returned home, all excited. “Pat, you are not going to believe it.  I really needed to hear your message the day you called.  The timing was divine. You had no idea that I was away for a few days at a “Journey” workshop. 

During the workshop, the leader suggested I take a break and go outside for a walk because of my feelings of frustration with the process. Others in the group seemed to be getting it, but nothing seemed to be happening with me.

I listened to my telephone messages when I returned to the group.  And there you were with your anointed words from God.  I screamed and immediately gave the phone to my friend to listen too.  After that, everything shifted for me. I felt God’s love and presence and knew I was exactly where I needed to be.”              

The more you step out in faith, trust and listen to that small still voice within, the more you make yourself available for Divine Assignments.

Ask Spirit to lead you; trust you will be led; and then step out in faith. Start out small and test the waters. Your words could transform and change another’s life dramatically. Like the time I was led to give a message of God’s love to a woman who was about to commit suicide. God’s words saved her life.

It’s a joy to know I’m making a difference in someone’s life and helping them on their journey to healing and wholeness. It really is fun. Try it you might like it! You can do the same because you have the same Power within you.

newsletter sign-up

Stay updated by signing up!


Listen to Finding The God of Your Understanding

Simply A Woman of Faith

Pat’s book, Simply A Woman of Faith, is available for only $16.45 (incl. S&H).
Click here to order.

VIEW SAMPLE CHAPTER




Recent Articles


Share This Experience!


Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
PO Box 28844
Providence, RI 02908
pat@simplyawomanoffaith.com
401-862-8859