Browsing all articles tagged with living in faith

Saying NO to others is saying YES to yourself

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I’ve had the opportunity to say NO several times over this past week and it felt good not doing something because I felt guilty and thought I SHOULD do it.

Do you have a hard time saying NO to others when they ask you to do something or they want you to go someplace with them? It’s easier to say no when you have a legitimate excuse in your own mind or you have something already planned.

But what about when you just don’t want to do it?  Are you able to say no just because you don’t feel like it? Do you think it’s selfish to say no to another’s request? Do you feel guilty and beat up on yourself when you say no? Have you ever felt resentful when you did something you didn’t want to do and did it because you thought you SHOULD do it?

Are you unable to say no to another’s request because you want to take care of them and rescue and fix them?  When we focus on others, at the expense of ourselves, we are in trouble and not in alignment with God’s will.  It is like we are saying, “Your needs are more important than mine.”  It is not only dishonoring, but it is disrespectful to the other person when we think we have the answers for them and want to rescue or fix them.

I have to admit that there was a time in my life that I couldn’t say NO to others because I wanted others to love me and I was afraid of the consequences of saying no. I often anticipated others needs and offered to help before they even asked. I never thought about if it would be good for me. I lived from the SHOULDS and it was exhausting.

I pushed myself to do things that I didn’t want to do because I thought that was the loving thing to do. What I didn’t understand was that I had it backwards. I wasn’t loving myself and my needs first. I was not taught how to go within and ask Spirit for guidance nor was I taught how to love myself first.

Of course, I want to be helpful and loving and be there for others when I can and choose to.  WHEN I SAY NO TO OTHERS, I AM SAYING YES TO MYSELF. Believe me, coming to this place of knowing and truth has been a process because I understand how important self-love and self-care is to my overall well-being.  I am responsible to take care of myself; body, mind and spirit.

Today, when I need to make a decision whether to say yes or no to another person, I go within, trust my intuition and ask Spirit for guidance. I ask questions like:

Do I really want to do this {whatever the request is}?

Is this in my highest good (and that of the other person) to say yes to this request?

Am I feeling responsible for the other person and their needs?

Remember, it is not selfish to say no, but self-loving to say no when you want to. If I am not sure I want to do something, I give myself time to go within and ask for guidance. I do nothing out of the SHOULDS anymore. It takes practice to say no in a way that doesn’t offend someone. I also know I have the right to change my mind, even at the last minute. No is a complete sentence and I don’t need to explain myself if I don’t want to.  Here are a few suggestions on how to say no:

  • Thank you for asking, but that isn’t going to work for me.
  • I want to do that, but I’m not available until next week. Will you ask me again then?
  • I can’t do it, but I know someone who may be able to help you.
  • None of those dates work for me, but I would love to see you. Send me some more dates.
  • I can’t put anything else on my calendar this month, but I’d love to do that sometime.
  • Thanks, I’ll have to pass on that. Say it, then shut up.
  • I really appreciate you asking me, but my time is already committed.
  • I wish I could, but it’s just not going to work right now.
  • I promised my husband I wouldn’t take on any more projects right now.
  • I appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m afraid I’m already booked that day.
  • Let me tell you what I can do, then limit the commitment to what is comfortable for you.





I asked for help

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I had to remind myself what I shared with my clients when they came into therapy.  I said, “It is a sign of strength when you ask for help.” Why doesn’t it feel like I am strong when I ask for help? In some instances, I have felt weak, embarrassed and even shameful that I didn’t know how to do something or figure something out on my own and was forced to ask for help.

I asked myself some questions:

  • Is it my pride that I think I should know how to do things or figure things out on my own?
  • Am I afraid of feeling vulnerable?
  • Am I afraid of being judged or looking stupid?
  • Do I think I am bothering someone if I ask for help?

If I believe it’s a weakness, of course, I don’t want to ask for help. Who wants to feel weak? If someone asks me for help, I feel honored to share my experience. If for some reason I cannot help them, I am free to tell them that and direct them to someone who can help them.

It is an old belief that no longer serves me when I am unable to ask for help when I need it. Not only am I depriving myself of what I need and I will suffer needlessly, but I am depriving another of helping me and sharing their experience.  Of course, we all want to figure things out on our own because it feels good. But, sometimes we just need to swallow our pride and ask for help.

I had an opportunity to ask for help this week from my daughter, Mary, who is staying with us for several weeks. For years, Mary has been health conscious and has tried to share her wisdom with me, but unfortunately, I wasn’t open until now.  It felt humbling and vulnerable asking for help after being so resistant for so many years. Here is what happened:

I had my follow-up appointment with my primary care doctor this week and wasn’t expecting new information about my health since the plan was to wait a few months before taking another blood test to see if my platelets were back to normal and inflammation gone. A new piece to the puzzle of why I have inflammation was revealed and for this, I am grateful.

Since I was feeling so much better after following the anti-inflammatory diet and not eating sugar for the last 2 months, I was very surprised when the doctor shared the test results that were taken at last visit.

Since I wasn’t expecting the tests results to be a bacterial infection in my gut, I felt like I was knocked off my horse and felt very overwhelmed on how to proceed. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic and probiotics to follow-up with.

Mary and I were eating breakfast when I had my “melt down” and shared with her how overwhelmed I  felt and asked for her help. She was so compassionate and loving and told me exactly what I needed to do to get rid of the bacteria/infection in my gut. She also shared how important it was that when I finished the antibiotic, l have no sugar, including fruit for a week. She not only told me what I needed to do, she said “I will cook for you to make sure you have nothing with sugar in it.”  How much better does it get than this? Instead of feeling overwhelmed as I had been feeling, I felt grateful, relieved and so loved.

Mary is my coach and I will eat whatever she tells me to eat and not to eat because my health is important.  This change of attitude and my willingness to follow the plan truly is God’s grace and a miracle for me. I am humbled and grateful that she is here to guide and support me. I shared in a past blog that Mary and Herbie were volunteering and staying at a bee farm for 2 weeks. This fell through at the last minute, so they are here with us for these 2 weeks.

I truly see God’s hand and perfect timing in this since Mary is present and willing to help me when I needed her the most. I have changed my thinking and know without a doubt that asking for help is a strength, and not a weakness.

How about you? Are you able to ask for help when you need it? We are not meant to suffer alone, we need one another on this journey of life.

Ballistic Missile threat to Hawaii

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By the grace of God, I’ve been able to embrace and cultivate an attitude of GRATITUDE for what “shows up” in my life, especially this week when I fell on my face on our family trip to Hana and the emergency alert we received in Hawaii.

I’m able to practice gratitude because I believe that everything happens for a reason and for my highest good. It is not to punish me or to make me suffer, but for my soul to grow and receive love, for love is all there is. Gratitude is a CHOICE. It’s important that I don’t do a “spiritual bypass” by not allowing myself to feel my feelings. When I am disappointed, angry, sad or overwhelmed when something happens in my life, I need to feel all of my feelings before I can change my perspective and practice gratitude. I need to give myself all the time I need to process what is going on, knowing there is no right or wrong way of doing it.

I am grateful for this gift of gratitude and for the many opportunities to practice it.  When I practice gratitude, accepting “what is” surrender, and trust, I am aligned with the Spirit within and will experience peace beyond understanding.

By now, because of social media, most of you are aware of what happened in Hawaii this weekend.  This is the alert we received of our phones:


It is under investigation as some reports are saying it actually was a drill while others are saying it was a MISTAKE and that the wrong button was pushed. It took 38 minutes after the original text was sent out for us to get notification that it wasn’t true. According to media reports, Hawaiians panicked in the streets, crying and screaming for dear life. I didn’t know this but some were told that there was 15 minutes before the missile attacked.  A woman got under her mattress calling family and saying good-bye while another man gathered his family and went into a sewer.

My friend, Kati, had just picked up Herbie and I to go to breakfast when we received the alert on my phone. We immediately turned around and came back to our home. Larry had not heard the message on his phone and was shocked like the rest of us. My daughter, Mary, had gone to the farmers market (which was 40 minutes away) to volunteer when she received the message on her phone. She called panicked and said, I will be right home.” I called a couple of girlfriends and invited them to come to be with us so they wouldn’t be alone. There was nothing we could do, but be there for one another and trust Love would take care of us.

I’m not sure if I was in denial and didn’t believe this alert or if I blocked my feelings, because I didn’t panic and didn’t think this was the end of my life. I didn’t call my kids to say good-bye.  As I processed my experience and my feelings around what happened, I asked myself, “Can we really ever be prepared for something like this?” We don’t know what’s going to happen next in our lives, do we? We only have the present moment and that is NOW. I can choose love or I can choose fear. One minute we are safe and peaceful and the next moment our lives appear to be in danger.

When I live in an attitude of gratitude and know there is only love and love will take care of me no matter what the circumstances are, there is no room for fear or panic. What good would it have done for me to be in the energy of fear and panic?

My heart is full of gratitude when I woke up this morning with my husband and the sun shining and my family safe and sound.

On a much smaller scale than a ballistic missile threat, I had another opportunity to practice gratitude, rather than to complain and feel like a victim. As I shared in the previous blog, we planned a trip to Hana for 2 days. We had a couple of hours to kill before we checked into our cabin so we went to the state park for a picnic and a walk along the ocean path.  As we were walking, my sandal got caught on a small lava rock and I fell flat on my face and cracked my head. You can imagine how my kids felt when they heard me scream and turned around to see their mother  flat on her face.

They immediately helped me up to see what damage had been done as I hobbled back to the car, with their help. Of course, I was shaking as my knee, elbow and ankle were bleeding and I was in pain. Larry was concerned that I may have a concussion since I hit my head pretty hard.

I could have been really bummed out that I couldn’t enjoy the next day’s excursions with my family, but had to rest and keep my leg up. Instead, I allowed Mary and Tim to take care of me and receive their love. They truly were a gift to me and I so appreciated their love and concern. As we know, it’s not easy to receive when we like to DO. Another gift was spending time with Herbie as we played games and cuddled together.

I am very grateful that I didn’t break any bones and that I didn’t have a concussion or permanent damage to my face or nose. Perhaps my body knew what was important and that I needed to rest and receive love. I don’t know why things happen, but I trust it is for my highest good and everything is in perfect and divine timing.




Divine abundance

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Happy New Year.  I wanted to start the blog with a quote from the DailyWord because it speaks to my heart about my life and how it has unfolded.

“Divine Abundance is unlimited. I am prepared and open to receive it all. I surrender to life’s plan for me, EXPECT the best and receive it with joyful gratitude.”

It has been 6 years this month that I stepped out in faith and moved to Maui. I can hardly believe how my life has unfolded. Although, like most of us, I had created vision boards of what I wanted to create in my life, I could not have imagined it to be this magnificent. God’s plan is always so much greater than I could have ever imagined. I just kept saying “YES” and moving forward, despite all my fears and doubts.

Larry and I feel especially blessed this week because our daughter, Mary, and our grandson, Herbie, are staying with us for 7 weeks.  Mary and Herbie are volunteering at a Bee farm for 2 of the weeks. Every morning, Mary and Herbie do their stretching on our Lanai and then go for a run in the neighborhood. It is awesome to watch Herbie following his mamma and doing the same moves as she does. Mary is home schooling him so for the next few hours, they are doing school work as well as learning about the ocean and different parts of the island.

We are blessed to have our son, Tim, from Boise, Idaho also staying with us for a week. We are taking a trip to Hana and staying in a lovely cabin for 2 nights with an outdoor hot tub. We will be exploring the beaches and trails in Hana, as well as eating delicious meals that Mary loves to cook.

We are having a blast playing in the waves at the beach and going down the slide at the pool. Herbie was a little reluctant at first to go down the slide and didn’t know if he wanted to do it. Mary went first and then he went behind her. He loved it so much that he went down ten more times.

Grandma was next in line and very reluctant to go down because it’s been years since I went down a water slide. I felt embarrassed not to go since my 8 year old grandson was so courageous to go down. I have to say it was quite the ride and I’m glad I did it, but once was enough!

We had a “Meet the kids” party with several of our friends and had so much fun playing and wearing hats and glasses.

I think the greatest gift is seeing the love that Mary and Herbie have for one another. She adores him and he adores her. Mary is patient, kind and loving with him. I am amazed at how she talks to Herbie about everything. He is like a sponge and so open to learning. Herbie is truly a light and so full of love and innocence. I am so grateful that my daughter was given the opportunity to be a mother and am so proud of her. He is a gift from Heaven to all of us.



I have all theTIME I need

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I want to wish everyone a happy and peaceful holiday. I know the holidays can be a stressful time, especially if we have recently lost someone or have been through a painful divorce or loss. Please know I pray every day for all of you who read the blog.  I am grateful for you.

As I reflect on the last few weeks after starting my anti-inflammatory diet along with the 21- day “Supreme Self-Love” retreat, I have to say the retreat has not been what I expected. I thought, like retreats in the past, I would be spending more “quiet time” in meditation and prayer.

Here is the message I received rrom Spirit at the beginning of the retreat.

“Let my presence override everything you experience like an ILLUMINATING veil of light. I hover over you and everything around you. I am training you to stay conscious of me in every situation. This period of ILLUMINATION and clarity that we are entering asks what messages keep repeating themselves so you will listen. You will keep getting it until you see it fully. Pay attention, wake up, take yourself back and stop accepting behaviors that don’t suit you. Stop settling, you are made for so much more.”

Due to my current health opportunities, my focus has been on “eliminating” foods that were causing inflammation in my body. It has been miraculous because of how much energy and better I feel.

While in prayer, this is what came to mind: “To ELIMINATE is to ILLUMINATE.” As I eliminate what no longer serves me, the light of God within me shines brighter. We are all called to be the light of Love in the world, especially in this time of awakening. People are searching for meaning and purpose in their lives and we can BE the light for them. They want what we have.

What I didn’t expect was that I would not only be eliminating foods that no longer served me, but that I would be eliminating old beliefs and resentments that I didn’t know were there. The process was internal, as well as external. I cleaned out closets, cupboards and threw away addiction handouts that I thought I would need some day, but hadn’t looked at in 10 years. You bet I feel LIGHTER.

Through a recurring dream that I worked with, Spirit revealed to me my rushing/pushing/controlling behaviors regarding TIME and getting things done. My old belief was that it was not ok to RELAX  because I didn’t feel safe until everything was done on my list.”

Here is the message from Holy Spirit:

“Time is an illusion. You have all the time you need to do what I want you to do and you want to do. Not having enough time is a hidden belief that has caused you much anxiety all your life. It is self-induced anxiety and a behavior that has robbed you of your peace. When you feel the anxiety and wanting to race and get things done, just NOTICE it, LOVE it and let it go. Do not try to hurry the process. If you want to be aligned with me, you have to accept my time frame. Hurry is not in my nature. It is coming to the LIGHT now so I can transform it because it no longer serves you.”

My new affirmation is “I have all the time I need, everything is in perfect and divine time.” I know that Spirit has already given me everything that I need. It is my responsibility to slow myself down and  notice when I am racing or pushing to get things done. I am reminding myself that there is always tomorrow. It is important not to judge myself because this is a pattern that has been with me for many years, but no longer serves me.”

I am truly grateful for this process of elimination so I can be the LIGHT and presence of Love in the world. Remember, to ELIMINATE IS TO ILLUMMINATE. What is Spirit calling you to eliminate in your life that no longer serves you?





I love my new healthy diet

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I love to be surprised, but I am very intuitive and therefore, I’m rarely surprised.  Last December, I had the surprise of my life when Larry got down on one knee and said, “You are my queen and I am your king, would you like to make it legal?? Talk about being in shock as I had no idea he was going to propose to me.

One year later, Spirit has surprised me again “big time” and I can hardly believe what is happening to me. When we ask for help, surrender and trust, miracles will happen. In fear of a heart attack due to very high blood platelets, I agreed to go on the 21 day anti-inflammatory diet to stay alive.

If anybody would have told me that I would be enjoying my “anti-inflammatory diet” I would have told them they were nuts. Are you kidding me eating vegetables and fruits and no chocolate or sugar seemed drastic. I grew up in an Irish household where meat and potatoes were the norm. My mother didn’t teach me how to cook so when I married and had children, I did the basics with casseroles, etc. I had no interest in learning how to cook.

Several weeks ago, before I had the results of my blood tests, my son, Tim, and I were talking about the importance of diet. I was adamant and “stubborn” and said, “If I don’t have any major health problems, at my age, I am not open to a life change in my diet. I’m not doing it.”

Thankfully, God had other plans for me. Don’t you love the saying, “We make plans and God laughs.” It has been 12 days on my new way of eating and my energy is coming back “big time.” Not only am I feeling better, but I am enjoying making meals and being creative. I am learning so much and that’s all I want to talk about with my friends is healthy eating.

Spirit has brought everything I need to me.  My friend emailed me about a talk that she had just heard about called, “Inflammation and the connection between dietary choice and inflammation” in the body by Dr. I VanDyken. Larry and I will be attending that talk this week.

My friend, Kati, sent me a picture on my phone of a book she recommended. It looked familiar and then I remembered that I bought the book last year when she did, but didn’t do anything with it. Clearly, I wasn’t ready. It’s called “The Medicinal Chef “ by Dale Pinnock.

My friend, Sandy, lent me a book called “Medical Medium-Life Changing foods” by Anthony William and another friend, Lesta, gave me a book by her future son-in-law called “Infinity Health Manual by   Billy Merritt. With the support and love of friends, Spirit’s help and my willingness to change. I am “awakening” to a new way of life and it feels really good.

When Larry asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I thought a pair of earrings to match my pendant would be nice.  I woke up in the middle of the night and Vitamix came into my mind. I knew that was what I wanted and we went to Costco the next day and bought a red Vitamix. I love it and I’m trying all kinds of new recipes.

What is fascinating and surprising to me is that I am “devouring” these books and learning what foods are healthy for me. Not only am I enjoying my new creative meals, but Larry is loving them too. Larry is calling me “Patti Crocker.”

Do we always need a major crisis to get our attention to change something important in our lives? I don’t know the answer.  Apparently, I did because I wasn’t willing to change my diet until I had a wake-up call.

I am so grateful and my heart is filled with joy that Spirit was patient and didn’t give up on me. Of course, I will have the blood tests repeated, but I know in my heart that they will be normal.


When I was younger there were times when I wasn’t consciously grateful for the many blessings I receive each day.  I have always been able to provide for myself and live comfortably.  I was thankful and appreciative but I kind of took everything for granted.

This all changed when I moved to Maui.  I have been on Maui for over ten years and right from the start I have been overwhelmed with gratitude.  The island’s beauty and spirit, the kindness of people and the love energy is terrific.  Living here is so wonderful that I have become conscious that gratitude continually fills my heart.  I’ve found that the more gratitude I have and express the more gifts and blessings I receive, it’s incredible.

The greatest gift I’ve received while living on Maui is meeting and marrying my wife Pat.  We live a very happy existence our lives complimenting each other.

As you know Pat was diagnosed with symptoms that could have been cancerous.  I was faced with the possibility that she may not be in my life much longer.  When Pat first told me that her doctor wanted her to see an oncologist to rule out cancer, I felt shocked and frightened. Just the thought of losing her was inconceivable.

There was a time in my life that I would have allowed fear to control me. Because of my faith in the energy of love, I didn’t allow fear to rob me of my peace. Instead, whenever I noticed fearful thoughts, I immediately dismissed them and said, I choose love.

Because I chose love, I was able to keep things in perspective and support Pat the way she needed to be supported. Pat and I both stayed positive and reminded each other often to choose love instead of fear.

Like other couples we have little idiosyncrasies and habits that sometimes annoy each other. We try to accept and be flexible with each other’s habits.

Faced with this possibility, her annoying habits and idiosyncrasies vanished and all that is important is that she is here where I can still love and cherish her.

The lesson I learned from this experience is that we won’t have each other around forever.  Instead of focusing on little annoyances and habits, make it a priority each day to tell your wife, husband, partner, parent or friend how much you love them. Make them feel accepted and important while they are still with us.

Who are the people in your life that you value and love? Tell them each day how much you appreciate and love them. Don’t wait to tell them how much joy they bring you and how grateful you are for their presence in your life. Don’t wait; tell them often.







Don’t let the doctor put fear in you-you don’t have cancer

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I made a decision that I would not allow fear to rob me of my peace. Whenever I thought about my new health issues, I said “I choose LOVE.” I said it constantly! It really worked because I didn’t lose my peace and even felt detached from it all, which was truly a miracle.

What could have caused Larry and I to be in a state of worry and panic choosing LOVE kept us centered and peaceful. It all started when I asked my doctor to do some blood tests because I was feeling more tired than usual. I have a history of anemia and thought for sure that I was anemic again.

In my prayer about the upcoming visit with the doctor, Spirit said, “Trust in me always, knowing everything has been planned so there is no need to worry or obsess. Just accept and let go. DO NOT LET THE DOCTOR PUT FEAR INTO YOU. She will make it worse than it is so it is important for you to stay calm and not buy into it. Stay centered knowing I am with you and all is well.”

I wasn’t alarmed when the nurse called a few days later and” asked me to come in to see the doctor because I thought she would be treating me for anemia.

I kept remembering what Spirit had said to me before my appointment, “Stay calm and centered and don’t let the doctor put fear into you.”  As she looked over my blood/ labs tests, I could tell that it was more than anemia.

She said, “Your white blood cell count is higher than it should be and your platelets are very high. I recommend you see a hematologist /oncologist.” I was stunned and said, “Why would I see an oncologist and what are they looking for?” She said, “We want to rule out cancer.  We will call the oncologist and make a referral today.”

To say that I was in shock would be an understatement. Just hearing the word cancer and that they wanted to rule it out left me speechless. I left the office in a daze, wanting to break down and cry. I didn’t want to call Larry and tell him the news over the phone.

When I got to my car, I breathed deeply to calm myself down. I had to talk to someone so I called my daughter, Mary, to tell her the news. Thankfully, she calmed me down and didn’t allow me to escalate it. I don’t remember what she said, but I felt better and was able to center myself. Of course, when I shared the news with Larry, he was concerned, but very supportive and loving.  In prayer and meditation, here is what I affirmed for myself:

Iwill trust and delete worry and fear.

I will stay centered, calm, and peaceful.

I will accept what is.

I will have faith that all is well.

I will stay positive and see only perfect health for myself.

I will choose LOVE instead of fear.

Larry and I both felt strongly that Spirit was giving us the opportunity to choose LOVE instead of fear and we promised each other to choose LOVE when we felt afraid. When I prayed about it Spirit said, “You are choosing LOVE and when you choose LOVE, there is no fear. Fear is an illusion and fear and worry are a waste of energy. Your faith will carry you through. Ego will try to rob you of your peace so be aware of your thoughts and what comes up.”

Thankfully, I was able to get an appointment with the oncologist within a few days.  I knew in my heart that I didn’t have cancer.  Larry came with me for my appointment and we were both very peaceful and  and even laughed in the car when I didn’t know the doctor’s name. I knew the address and I had his telephone number.  Of course, when we arrived at the office, his name was on the board and there wasn’t a problem.

You can imagine the relief and joy we felt when the doctor looked at us and said, “You don’t have cancer.”  God is good! I may have an infection in my body that is causing inflammation around heart and platelets to be high, which doctor reassured me is treatable. I appreciate your prayers as I move through this health challenge. I see myself as healed, whole and healthy.

I share this with you to encourage you to choose LOVE instead of fear. It doesn’t have to be a health issue, but can be anything in your life that you are fearful about and robbing you of your peace.

Love is all there is.








We have a match made in heaven

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I want to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving. We have so much to be thankful for. We will be hosting Thanksgiving dinner at our home for 8 of our dear friends. Since all of us are “transplants” from other places, we are now “family” and grateful to have one another.

There was no way I could have imagined that my first visit to Maui for Thanksgiving 8 years ago would have changed my life forever. I had always dreamed of “visiting” Maui, probably just like everybody else.  I fell in love with Maui that first Thanksgiving so when my friend, Ellen, invited me back the next year to stay in her condo, overlooking the ocean, for a month while she traveled, I jumped at the chance.

While I was there, I was very surprised when I heard the “Small, still voice of God” invite me to come back to Maui to live for 6 months. Of course, I had to deal with all the voices in my head that said it was impossible to do. I think the strongest voice was, “Who do you think you are and that I didn’t deserve to do something that extravagant.”  I had all kinds of questions like: How could I leave my family, friends, business and community? Where would I live? Who would rent my condo in Rhode Island? Of course, the biggest challenge to deal with was where would the money come from?

When Spirit puts something on your heart that seems “impossible” and you “listen, trust and ACT” doors open, almost miraculously. As I look back, I know it took a lot of courage and faith to trust myself and to trust it was the voice of Spirit and not just my own voice.  I had enough experience of listening and stepping out in faith to know it was truth and I could trust the voice within.

After doing battle with God about why I couldn’t possibly move to Maui and facing my fears, I finally surrendered and said “YES.” I went back home and told my family and friends that I was moving to Maui for 6 months. Of course, they were shocked and had all kinds of concerns and questions. All I knew for sure was that I was following my heart and trusting Spirit to do the rest.

Within a few weeks of returning to Rhode Island, a woman from my church rented my condo, but I still didn’t have a place to live when I arrived on Maui, but trusted something would “show up.” Two weeks before arriving on Maui, I received a phone call from a friend inviting me to live with her and her husband in a 2 bedroom condo that they had just rented.

The condo overlooked the ocean and I paid $300 a month.  That is totally crazy because to rent a room for a night is over $200. I truly was in heaven and I learned how to relax and enjoy the journey. My plan was to continue my coaching practice and speaking engagements while I was there. That was not God’s plan. I heard very clearly, “I want you to learn HOW TO BE.” I am so grateful that I listened because God’s plan was so much better than mine.

When the 6 months ended, I knew my heart belonged on Maui and that I wanted to live here permanently. Of course, I had to deal with the same voices and fears. After much prayer and meditation and discernment, I went back to Rhode Island and put my house up for sale. My house didn’t sell, but I was able to rent it, which I am still doing.

Many of you know who have been reading my blog for years that I knew I would meet my soul mate on Maui. I don’t know how I knew, but I JUST KNEW!  I didn’t know it would take so long and I was often impatient. He was right in front of me all the time, but I didn’t know it. Larry and I were best friends for 2 years before my eyes were opened and we fell in love. We built a beautiful foundation of friendship, trust and respect. I have come to trust that God’s divine timing is perfect and you can’t push or make things happen the way you want them to be.

For as long as I can remember, I said to my family and friends, “Someday, I will live on the water and I don’t care if it’s a lake or a pond.” I thought it would be in Narragansett, Rhode Island, which would have been fine. Never did I dream it would be in Maui, HI.

It is beyond my wildest imagination what God has provided for Larry and I.  We live in a beautiful home that has a 160 degree view of the ocean that our bedroom overlooks. We can see the whales jumping out of the water when they are here. We have no idea how long we will be here so we enjoy it to the fullest and live with an attitude of gratitude.  We take nothing for granted and we live our lives to the fullest because we are not promised tomorrow, all we have is today.

So many women I hear from and friends are discouraged that they haven’t met their soul mate yet and that they will be alone, especially in the later years of their lives. I share what Spirit has done for us, not to boast, but to inspire and encourage you not to ever give up on your dreams. Larry and I have built a relationship that is built on love, honesty and respect. Spirit has brought us together and we truly have a match made in heaven.

When you follow your heart, trust, live in faith and listen to the “Small, still voice of God within” miracles will happen for you too.

All there is is LOVE

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Have you ever experienced a “shift” in yourself and you have no idea how or why it happened? You may have struggled your whole life with something and then it seems like suddenly, the struggle is gone and you are FREE.

I know it must be God’s grace when that happens. What else could it be?

I have struggled all my life with my weight and being obsessed with getting on the scale, even though I was never really overweight.  As I look back over the years, it seems like I tried every kind of fad diet around. I always wanted to be thinner than I was. When I lost weight, I felt good about myself and when I gained weight, I didn’t feel good about myself. I constantly compared myself to others and how thin they were.

When I was about 12 years old, every week I accompanied my mother to the doctor and was prescribed diet pills. As sick as this sounds, it almost felt like a bonding experience. The sad part was that I was not overweight and have no idea why my mother thought I needed diet pills. That went on for several years and I remember driving to the doctor to get my own diet pills when I was 17 years old. It is truly a miracle and I am grateful that I never became addicted to the pills and stopped using them on my own.

So here it is 60 years later and I was still struggling with body image and getting on the scale. Even though I understood intellectually that it came from being prescribed diet pills at a young age, I couldn’t seem to move beyond it. It was like I needed to be a certain weight to feel loved and valued.

It didn’t matter that I now had a husband who loved my body just as it was. I prayed and meditated and affirmed that I loved my body just as it was. Despite this, every few days I found myself needing to get on the scale and it was always the same feelings. If I gained 2 or 3 pounds, I didn’t feel good about myself and if I lost 2-3 pounds, I felt good about myself. It felt like a vicious cycle that I just couldn’t break no matter what I did.

I didn’t want to be attached or obsessed with being the perfect weight, but didn’t know what to do about it other than pray and ask for help. I came to a place of acceptance (even though I didn’t like it) that this was something I would struggle with for the rest of my life.

I don’t know what happened or how it happened (other than God’s grace), but I no longer have the need to get on the scale and see how much I weigh. I now know that the number on the scale is just a number and has nothing to do with my self-worth or how lovable I am.

I can’t tell you how FREE I feel after all of these years of struggling and not feeling thin enough or good enough.   The only way I can describe my new attitude is that “IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE.”  When you have struggled with something for almost all your life and made it so important and now it doesn’t matter, it is a tremendous relief.

I can see this attitude of “IT DOESN’T MATTER ANYMORE” seeping into other areas of my life. I am not taking things personally and am able to let things roll off my shoulders more easily. I am able to recognize my ego thoughts more quickly and see the truth. I love my new attitude! There is so much that doesn’t matter that I have made matter during my lifetime. I have given my power away and lost my peace by wanting to please everyone and wanting to be perfect.

As I reflected on this, I would like to share what DOES MATTER TO ME. My relationship with Spirit is number 1 and to know that I am in alignment with God’s will and am a vessel of love in all of my relationships every day is what matters.  I want to remember that I am Love and that Love is all there is.  I want to remember that I am ONE with God and there is no separation. I want to remember that I am always guided and protected when I trust and surrender.

Love wants us to be free, to love ourselves just as we are (with all our imperfections). I am grateful that I didn’t give up and kept trusting in the power of Love to heal me and free me.  Is there an area in your life that you need God’s grace to heal and free you?





RUN as fast as you can

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I had an amazing birthday week of RECEIVING love from family and friends; breakfast, lunch and dinners out. I received calls from friends, (as far as Bermuda) and received many cards and gifts. I opened my heart to receive love and indeed, I did. Larry and I went to dinner at Humuhumu restaurant and I felt like his queen when he put the beautiful flower lei over my head before we left. It was quite an experience that I will cherish and never forget.

If I couldn’t be on the ocean in a cruise ship for my birthday, I wanted to FLY over the ocean. Four years ago on my birthday, I went paragliding and wanted to do it again for my birthday this year. Paragliding 6,500 feet over the ocean was breathtaking and I felt free and like a bird flying in the sky. I was called a “student pilot” and the pilot sat behind me maneuvering the glider. After the pilot, Paul, strapped me all in, he gave me instructions on what to do. He said, “It is very important to RUN as fast as you can, don’t sit down or hold the bars until I tell you and we are up in the air.”  When we are ready to take off and the wind is just right, I’ll give you the ok.

I am grateful that two of the other instructors assisted and ran along the side of me to help me get off the ground when Paul gave us the ok. The only problem was that my feet wouldn’t touch the ground and I couldn’t RUN. I started to scream, “My feet don’t touch the ground.”  I was suspended in the air for a few seconds and had to sit. Before I knew it, we were flying over the side of the volcano and into the clouds over the ocean.

As I reflected on this experience afterwards, it felt like there were 2 angels on the side of me helping me get off the ground so I could fly.  Angels (although sometimes invisible) are always there to lift us up when we don’t think we can do it or when we are unable to do it like I was because my feet couldn’t touch the ground.

I not only wanted the paragliding to be a “fun” and empowering experience, but I also wanted it to be a spiritual one and to go higher and higher with God. While in prayer, I wrote out a list of things that I wanted to let go of that no longer served me and I wrote a list of what I wanted to receive. When I was ready to let it go, I put my arm out and released the paper into the air. It really felt liberating.

I also went parasailing a few days later with my friend, Margie, whose birthday was a day before mine. We truly were ONE with one another and ONE with God as we glided through the air into the clouds and sky. It was a magical, magnificent experience and I felt close to God and the angels. It was a perfect day as I experienced the peace and presence of God within.

I was literally “lifted up” above the earth so I could remember who I am and where I came from. I am LOVE and I am not separate from God. God and I are ONE and I am ONE with everyone and everything. This is my truth and knowing that there is only LOVE.

We are all being invited to awaken and “remember” who you are and that there is only love and that everything we need is within.  We no longer have to look outside of ourselves for external validation because we have enough self-love to give it to ourselves. At this time in our world, I believe we are being “shaken up to waken up.”

You don’t have to paraglide or parasail to fly higher with God. Let the angels help you. In order to fly higher, you must be willing to let go of what no longer serves you;  drama, complaining, worrying, fears, comparing, not enoughness, judgments, disappointments, ego, jealousy, expectations, unforgiveness and resentments.

God is all there is and it’s about letting go, surrendering and trusting God is in control and has a perfect plan for our lives, and when we ask for His help, He will lift us up above the battleground of this world to experience his loving peace and presence.


My sweet wife, Pat, loves to go on cruises and checks them out with hopes of going on another one.  She shared in a past blog that the travel agent, Dina, had called with a special deal that we said yes to. When we called back to book it, it was no longer the price we were quoted so we decided to wait for another special deal.

Last Friday, I received an excited phone call from Pat informing me that she had just heard from, Dina, the cruise consultant with the same great price cruise as the one from a few weeks ago. Pat was ready to book it and explained that the cruise was leaving on Saturday, October 7th and we would have to book immediately.

This left us with just a few days to adjust our schedules.  I would have had to adjust my commitments for those dates. I didn’t feel good about it and felt pushed and rushed. The thought of making these changes at this late date didn’t sit well with me as I don’t like making these decisions so quickly.

I reminded Pat that these specials come up all the time and perhaps we could wait for another one  when we would have a little more time to plan. I really didn’t want to disappoint Pat and it was difficult for me to explain my feelings. I wasn’t feeling positive or peaceful about it at all.

Pat was quiet and listened and then said, “I understand your perspective and don’t want to pressure or push you. I will call Dina and tell her we cannot go at this time.” A few minutes later Pat texted  me and said, “I am fine with not going and please don’t feel guilty.”  WOW.  I was very surprised and relieved! What an adult way to accept disappointment.  Pat was gracious about not going and didn’t push the issue.

The next morning when we processed what happened, Pat thanked me for speaking up and following my intuition. She realized that she also had commitments for the weekend that she would have had to cancel.

In past relationships, I would have suffered the consequences and felt guilty that I had let someone down that I loved and cared about. I think I would have been judged that I was being selfish and caring only about my feelings.

One of the wonderful pluses in my relationship with Pat is that we allow and encourage each other to honestly share our feelings, which enables us the freedom and space to make difficult decisions without repercussions. We trust each other that the decision made is for the good of the relationship. I feel very blessed.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
PO Box 28844
Providence, RI 02908