Browsing all articles tagged with Pat Hastings

Saying NO to others is saying YES to yourself

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I’ve had the opportunity to say NO several times over this past week and it felt good not doing something because I felt guilty and thought I SHOULD do it.

Do you have a hard time saying NO to others when they ask you to do something or they want you to go someplace with them? It’s easier to say no when you have a legitimate excuse in your own mind or you have something already planned.

But what about when you just don’t want to do it?  Are you able to say no just because you don’t feel like it? Do you think it’s selfish to say no to another’s request? Do you feel guilty and beat up on yourself when you say no? Have you ever felt resentful when you did something you didn’t want to do and did it because you thought you SHOULD do it?

Are you unable to say no to another’s request because you want to take care of them and rescue and fix them?  When we focus on others, at the expense of ourselves, we are in trouble and not in alignment with God’s will.  It is like we are saying, “Your needs are more important than mine.”  It is not only dishonoring, but it is disrespectful to the other person when we think we have the answers for them and want to rescue or fix them.

I have to admit that there was a time in my life that I couldn’t say NO to others because I wanted others to love me and I was afraid of the consequences of saying no. I often anticipated others needs and offered to help before they even asked. I never thought about if it would be good for me. I lived from the SHOULDS and it was exhausting.

I pushed myself to do things that I didn’t want to do because I thought that was the loving thing to do. What I didn’t understand was that I had it backwards. I wasn’t loving myself and my needs first. I was not taught how to go within and ask Spirit for guidance nor was I taught how to love myself first.

Of course, I want to be helpful and loving and be there for others when I can and choose to.  WHEN I SAY NO TO OTHERS, I AM SAYING YES TO MYSELF. Believe me, coming to this place of knowing and truth has been a process because I understand how important self-love and self-care is to my overall well-being.  I am responsible to take care of myself; body, mind and spirit.

Today, when I need to make a decision whether to say yes or no to another person, I go within, trust my intuition and ask Spirit for guidance. I ask questions like:

Do I really want to do this {whatever the request is}?

Is this in my highest good (and that of the other person) to say yes to this request?

Am I feeling responsible for the other person and their needs?

Remember, it is not selfish to say no, but self-loving to say no when you want to. If I am not sure I want to do something, I give myself time to go within and ask for guidance. I do nothing out of the SHOULDS anymore. It takes practice to say no in a way that doesn’t offend someone. I also know I have the right to change my mind, even at the last minute. No is a complete sentence and I don’t need to explain myself if I don’t want to.  Here are a few suggestions on how to say no:

  • Thank you for asking, but that isn’t going to work for me.
  • I want to do that, but I’m not available until next week. Will you ask me again then?
  • I can’t do it, but I know someone who may be able to help you.
  • None of those dates work for me, but I would love to see you. Send me some more dates.
  • I can’t put anything else on my calendar this month, but I’d love to do that sometime.
  • Thanks, I’ll have to pass on that. Say it, then shut up.
  • I really appreciate you asking me, but my time is already committed.
  • I wish I could, but it’s just not going to work right now.
  • I promised my husband I wouldn’t take on any more projects right now.
  • I appreciate you thinking of me, but I’m afraid I’m already booked that day.
  • Let me tell you what I can do, then limit the commitment to what is comfortable for you.





I asked for help

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I had to remind myself what I shared with my clients when they came into therapy.  I said, “It is a sign of strength when you ask for help.” Why doesn’t it feel like I am strong when I ask for help? In some instances, I have felt weak, embarrassed and even shameful that I didn’t know how to do something or figure something out on my own and was forced to ask for help.

I asked myself some questions:

  • Is it my pride that I think I should know how to do things or figure things out on my own?
  • Am I afraid of feeling vulnerable?
  • Am I afraid of being judged or looking stupid?
  • Do I think I am bothering someone if I ask for help?

If I believe it’s a weakness, of course, I don’t want to ask for help. Who wants to feel weak? If someone asks me for help, I feel honored to share my experience. If for some reason I cannot help them, I am free to tell them that and direct them to someone who can help them.

It is an old belief that no longer serves me when I am unable to ask for help when I need it. Not only am I depriving myself of what I need and I will suffer needlessly, but I am depriving another of helping me and sharing their experience.  Of course, we all want to figure things out on our own because it feels good. But, sometimes we just need to swallow our pride and ask for help.

I had an opportunity to ask for help this week from my daughter, Mary, who is staying with us for several weeks. For years, Mary has been health conscious and has tried to share her wisdom with me, but unfortunately, I wasn’t open until now.  It felt humbling and vulnerable asking for help after being so resistant for so many years. Here is what happened:

I had my follow-up appointment with my primary care doctor this week and wasn’t expecting new information about my health since the plan was to wait a few months before taking another blood test to see if my platelets were back to normal and inflammation gone. A new piece to the puzzle of why I have inflammation was revealed and for this, I am grateful.

Since I was feeling so much better after following the anti-inflammatory diet and not eating sugar for the last 2 months, I was very surprised when the doctor shared the test results that were taken at last visit.

Since I wasn’t expecting the tests results to be a bacterial infection in my gut, I felt like I was knocked off my horse and felt very overwhelmed on how to proceed. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic and probiotics to follow-up with.

Mary and I were eating breakfast when I had my “melt down” and shared with her how overwhelmed I  felt and asked for her help. She was so compassionate and loving and told me exactly what I needed to do to get rid of the bacteria/infection in my gut. She also shared how important it was that when I finished the antibiotic, l have no sugar, including fruit for a week. She not only told me what I needed to do, she said “I will cook for you to make sure you have nothing with sugar in it.”  How much better does it get than this? Instead of feeling overwhelmed as I had been feeling, I felt grateful, relieved and so loved.

Mary is my coach and I will eat whatever she tells me to eat and not to eat because my health is important.  This change of attitude and my willingness to follow the plan truly is God’s grace and a miracle for me. I am humbled and grateful that she is here to guide and support me. I shared in a past blog that Mary and Herbie were volunteering and staying at a bee farm for 2 weeks. This fell through at the last minute, so they are here with us for these 2 weeks.

I truly see God’s hand and perfect timing in this since Mary is present and willing to help me when I needed her the most. I have changed my thinking and know without a doubt that asking for help is a strength, and not a weakness.

How about you? Are you able to ask for help when you need it? We are not meant to suffer alone, we need one another on this journey of life.

Divine abundance

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Happy New Year.  I wanted to start the blog with a quote from the DailyWord because it speaks to my heart about my life and how it has unfolded.

“Divine Abundance is unlimited. I am prepared and open to receive it all. I surrender to life’s plan for me, EXPECT the best and receive it with joyful gratitude.”

It has been 6 years this month that I stepped out in faith and moved to Maui. I can hardly believe how my life has unfolded. Although, like most of us, I had created vision boards of what I wanted to create in my life, I could not have imagined it to be this magnificent. God’s plan is always so much greater than I could have ever imagined. I just kept saying “YES” and moving forward, despite all my fears and doubts.

Larry and I feel especially blessed this week because our daughter, Mary, and our grandson, Herbie, are staying with us for 7 weeks.  Mary and Herbie are volunteering at a Bee farm for 2 of the weeks. Every morning, Mary and Herbie do their stretching on our Lanai and then go for a run in the neighborhood. It is awesome to watch Herbie following his mamma and doing the same moves as she does. Mary is home schooling him so for the next few hours, they are doing school work as well as learning about the ocean and different parts of the island.

We are blessed to have our son, Tim, from Boise, Idaho also staying with us for a week. We are taking a trip to Hana and staying in a lovely cabin for 2 nights with an outdoor hot tub. We will be exploring the beaches and trails in Hana, as well as eating delicious meals that Mary loves to cook.

We are having a blast playing in the waves at the beach and going down the slide at the pool. Herbie was a little reluctant at first to go down the slide and didn’t know if he wanted to do it. Mary went first and then he went behind her. He loved it so much that he went down ten more times.

Grandma was next in line and very reluctant to go down because it’s been years since I went down a water slide. I felt embarrassed not to go since my 8 year old grandson was so courageous to go down. I have to say it was quite the ride and I’m glad I did it, but once was enough!

We had a “Meet the kids” party with several of our friends and had so much fun playing and wearing hats and glasses.

I think the greatest gift is seeing the love that Mary and Herbie have for one another. She adores him and he adores her. Mary is patient, kind and loving with him. I am amazed at how she talks to Herbie about everything. He is like a sponge and so open to learning. Herbie is truly a light and so full of love and innocence. I am so grateful that my daughter was given the opportunity to be a mother and am so proud of her. He is a gift from Heaven to all of us.



GRATITUDE is my attitude

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As I think about 2017 coming to an end, the word that stands out for me is GRATITUDE. Of course, what I am most grateful for is getting married to my best friend and soul mate, Larry. After waiting and praying for 15 years, I was ready to be in a committed relationship. It truly was the desire of my heart to be married, but I had surrendered my will to Spirit, as Larry didn’t want to get married again. He was quite happy with our relationship as it was and didn’t feel the need to get married, until Spirit put it on his heart to ask me to marry him one year ago.  I am grateful that he listened and followed his heart.

I am very grateful for my “renewed heath” and opportunities for the past couple of months. It was a wake- up call to pay attention to my health and change my way of life. I continue to feel better every day.

I have been thinking about what “surrender” means to me. It is the opposite of how I operated much of my life, until I became conscious and awake. I attempted to control people, outcomes and situations and tried to make things happen the way I wanted them. Surrender is a process and it has taken me many years to learn how to surrender and live in peace.

When we tap into this relaxed energy of surrendering, we allow that what we desire to flow to us in  miraculous ways. The job, the relationship or whatever we are envisioning and desiring for our lives is all on its way and when we surrender our plans for the timeline and the form in which we think it should arrive, we allow an even bigger and better outcome to take place. Many of us have heard, “We make plans, and God laughs.”

When we are not fighting the process and complaining, but accepting “what is,” we are able to say YES to limitless opportunities for love and joy to enter our lives. When we surrender to the natural flow of life, we can relax, trusting and knowing that everything is unfolding in perfect and divine timing and all we need to do is “show up” and get out of the way and let life happen.

Surrender occurs when we release our need to control things, and instead choose to place a higher level of trust and faith in the process of life. We choose Love rather than fear and worry because we know there is a Higher Power, Source, Love, God always GUIDING us.

As I thought about the word GUIDANCE, I remembered what it really meant. It means “God U and I Dance.” Simply put, God leads, I follow. It feels so much better when I am relaxed and willing to follow, rather than trying to lead and be in control.  My ego wants me to believe that I am in control and that I know what’s best for me rather than to trust the Spirit within and surrender. My ego wants me to believe that I am separate from God, but the truth is that I am ONE with God. We are all connected and we are all ONE.

As I was thinking about GUIDANCE, I opened to a reading in “Jesus Calling.”

“Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Follow me wholeheartedly with glad anticipation quickening your pace. Though you don’t know what is ahead, I know and that is enough. Some of my richest blessings are just around the bend, out of sight, but nonetheless, very real. To receive these gifts, you must walk by faith-not by sight. This doesn’t mean closing your eyes to what is all around you. It means subordinating the visible world to the invisible shepherd of your soul.”

Love is all there is.  Allow Love to guide you and give you peace. Surrender to “what is” and the process of life and you will experience miracles and limitless possibilities.


I have all theTIME I need

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I want to wish everyone a happy and peaceful holiday. I know the holidays can be a stressful time, especially if we have recently lost someone or have been through a painful divorce or loss. Please know I pray every day for all of you who read the blog.  I am grateful for you.

As I reflect on the last few weeks after starting my anti-inflammatory diet along with the 21- day “Supreme Self-Love” retreat, I have to say the retreat has not been what I expected. I thought, like retreats in the past, I would be spending more “quiet time” in meditation and prayer.

Here is the message I received rrom Spirit at the beginning of the retreat.

“Let my presence override everything you experience like an ILLUMINATING veil of light. I hover over you and everything around you. I am training you to stay conscious of me in every situation. This period of ILLUMINATION and clarity that we are entering asks what messages keep repeating themselves so you will listen. You will keep getting it until you see it fully. Pay attention, wake up, take yourself back and stop accepting behaviors that don’t suit you. Stop settling, you are made for so much more.”

Due to my current health opportunities, my focus has been on “eliminating” foods that were causing inflammation in my body. It has been miraculous because of how much energy and better I feel.

While in prayer, this is what came to mind: “To ELIMINATE is to ILLUMINATE.” As I eliminate what no longer serves me, the light of God within me shines brighter. We are all called to be the light of Love in the world, especially in this time of awakening. People are searching for meaning and purpose in their lives and we can BE the light for them. They want what we have.

What I didn’t expect was that I would not only be eliminating foods that no longer served me, but that I would be eliminating old beliefs and resentments that I didn’t know were there. The process was internal, as well as external. I cleaned out closets, cupboards and threw away addiction handouts that I thought I would need some day, but hadn’t looked at in 10 years. You bet I feel LIGHTER.

Through a recurring dream that I worked with, Spirit revealed to me my rushing/pushing/controlling behaviors regarding TIME and getting things done. My old belief was that it was not ok to RELAX  because I didn’t feel safe until everything was done on my list.”

Here is the message from Holy Spirit:

“Time is an illusion. You have all the time you need to do what I want you to do and you want to do. Not having enough time is a hidden belief that has caused you much anxiety all your life. It is self-induced anxiety and a behavior that has robbed you of your peace. When you feel the anxiety and wanting to race and get things done, just NOTICE it, LOVE it and let it go. Do not try to hurry the process. If you want to be aligned with me, you have to accept my time frame. Hurry is not in my nature. It is coming to the LIGHT now so I can transform it because it no longer serves you.”

My new affirmation is “I have all the time I need, everything is in perfect and divine time.” I know that Spirit has already given me everything that I need. It is my responsibility to slow myself down and  notice when I am racing or pushing to get things done. I am reminding myself that there is always tomorrow. It is important not to judge myself because this is a pattern that has been with me for many years, but no longer serves me.”

I am truly grateful for this process of elimination so I can be the LIGHT and presence of Love in the world. Remember, to ELIMINATE IS TO ILLUMMINATE. What is Spirit calling you to eliminate in your life that no longer serves you?





The door was closed in our face

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I felt excited when I opened my email early in the morning that read, “Please call me asap.” It was from Dina, the travel agent from the Norwegian Cruise Line. I had spoken to her a few times over the past few months and she knew that we wanted to take another Hawaiian island cruise for our honeymoon. When we went on the cruise for my birthday last year, they gave a considerable discount to Hawaii residents. What we loved about the Hawaiian cruise is that we didn’t have to travel far to get on the ship.

Up until now, they hadn’t offered this discount. It was on that cruise that Larry decided (with the prompting from Spirit) to surprise me and ask me to marry him.

Just the day before receiving this email, I was talking with my friends, Kati and Sally, about the importance of living life to the fullest and not wasting precious time. I said, “I really want to go on another cruise.” There is just something about being on the ocean that feeds my soul. I hadn’t heard from Dina in quite some time.

I called Dina immediately when I read her email. She said, “Pat, are you interested in a 7 day Hawaiian cruise for $599 on October 7-14th? There are only 8 rooms left so you will have to act fast if you want it.” I could hardly get the words out of my mouth, I was so excited and said, “That sounds amazing, can you hold it until I talk to my husband?” She said, “Yes, but don’t take too long, this will go fast.”

I wanted to jump on it and after going within and discussing it with Larry, we were both on board with it. How perfect because we would celebrate my birthday and our honeymoon. I called Dina back within 15 minutes and much to my dismay, she said “The price has already gone up to $899 per person.” She tried everything to get the price back again, but couldn’t, even though she had put a hold on it.

When Larry and I discussed the new price, we decided to wait for another great deal.  Of course, I felt disappointed because I thought this was surely an answer to prayer and I was ready for our second cruise.  I immediately remembered the concept of “open and closed doors” that has been a vital part of  my spiritual journey for many years.  It has been my experience that guidance comes through open and closed doors.

It helps me to let go and surrender to “what is” when I trust that the door has been closed for a reason that only Spirit knows why and it is for my highest good. There have been many times that the door was closed because it wasn’t the right timing and opened at the perfect and right time. It was “in the hallway” that I learned to trust and let go.

I thought I had let it go because I didn’t think about it during the day. However, before I went to bed that night, I decided to go online and see if I could find the $599 deal again, but no luck. While I was on the website, I saw some other cruise deals that might work for us. My juices were flowing!

I called Dina in the morning to check out some other cruises that required traveling to San Francisco to get on the ship. She really felt bad about the new price and said, “I went home last night and looked again. Don’t worry Pat, I will keep looking.”  I laughed and said, “Dina, I am a woman of faith and if it is meant to be, it will be.”

Rather than “allowing” and letting things come to me, I could feel myself pushing, obsessing and trying to make things happen. As I am learning to honor the Love that I am, I don’t push, seek or strive, for these are the old ways of doing things.

The new way is about allowing and accepting “what is” and trusting that all is in divine order. It is about being in the flow without attachment to anything; just allowing things to unfold naturally. This is self-care and self-loving.

I have read that when I love myself, I keep my vibration high and from that, my consciousness expands and from my higher consciousness, my life shifts to peace, ease and grace and miracles happen.

I knew I wasn’t “letting go” because I had lost my peace. I asked Spirit, “Why is it so hard to let go?” Here is what was revealed to me:

  • I am not trusting Spirit that the closed door was for my higher good
  • I think I know what’s best for me
  • I want what I want – NOW
  • I’m impatient
  • I think I have to do it myself and control it
  • I have to make things happen, rather than” allowing” it to happen
  • I don’t want to be HERE right now, I want to be somewhere else

When I realized that I hadn’t let go and was obsessing about going on a cruise, I asked Spirit for help.  When I truly let go, I feel peaceful.  In this moment, I am peaceful because I am choosing to let go and trust in the divine plan for my life.

Although waiting is not my favorite thing to do, I surrender and trust that my Higher Power has a better plan and another door will open at the perfect and right time. I will wait patiently to see what it is.

How about you, is it hard to trust when the door is closed and you have to wait?






I judged Larry and felt terrible

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My aerobics teacher, Trixi, looked at me in class and said, “Pat is amazing and so are all of you.”  What a nice reminder, but I thought to myself, “What would she say if she knew what I had just struggled with before coming to class?”

I wrote in my journal prior to class, “Can I or will I ever get to the point where I don’t judge others and  am not affected by their behaviors?” I am divine and human and have feelings and opinions so perhaps it’s unrealistic to think I will never judge another person’s behaviors. I do believe that the more conscious I become and the more I love myself, the less judgmental I will be of others.

It is my problem when another person’s behavior disturbs me, whether it’s what they do or don’t do, or what they say or don’t say. Who am I to judge another when I have no idea what the person is suffering or going through.  When someone is rude to me or acts inappropriately in my perspective, instead of shooting off my mouth and lashing out, I want my default to be to SEND THEM LOVE rather than judging them. I am not there yet, but it is where I am striving to be!

When I judge others or my buttons are pushed, I may be projecting my feelings onto them, rather than looking at myself and what’s going on inside of me. I may be accusing another of the very things I have disowned or rejected in myself.  I have learned that when I “spot” something I don’t like in another person, I “got” it and it may very well be a call for SELF-LOVE.

Author Gay Hendricks, writes, “When I don’t or can’t acknowledge my feelings or accept something about myself, it is a sign that deep down, I don’t love myself. You will always find something to complain about, and the people in your life will always seem to be less than perfect, because you think you are less than perfect. Unless you can learn to love yourself, and accept yourself and your feelings, you will never be able to be fully loved by anyone else. 

Hendricks also writes, “Intimate relationships are like temperature gauges for self-love. When you are by yourself, you don’t encounter the typical triggers that would indicate a lack of self-love. But a relationship will stir up our deepest needs and fears. When you possess a full reservoir, you do not require your partner to “fill you up.” If your partner is having a bad day or you have a disagreement, you are able to give yourself the love your partner is unwilling or unable to share at that time.”

I could relate to what Hendricks wrote about relationships are like temperature gauges for self-love. Here is what happened this week:

I judged Larry when he woke up in the morning complaining of stomach cramps. I didn’t say it, but wanted to say, “It’s your own fault, look what you are putting into your body every day. You are eating too many sweets, that is why you have cramps and feel terrible.”

When I realized I was judging Larry, I really felt bad. I prayed and asked Spirit to show me the truth. I didn’t want to admit and acknowledge that I had recently been eating more sweets and instead of looking at what I was doing, I had projected my feelings onto him. Even though it doesn’t feel very good to admit this, I am grateful that Spirit brought this to the light so I can do something about it.

I may not like Larry’s diet, but the truth is what Larry does or doesn’t do, what he eats or doesn’t eat is none of my business. I cannot change anyone but myself.  I am being given an opportunity to love and accept myself. Here is the message from Holy Spirit:

“Don’t beat up on yourself. Learn from it. Love yourself and love your body.  Eat good food as a way of self-care. I will help you when you ask for my help.”

I did ask for help and am pleased to say that the last several days, I have had little cravings for sweets. I had been so busy concentrating on my daily exercise and water intake, that I wasn’t paying attention to what I was eating.

I received this message from a friend today from Science of Mind magazine. “There is an internal help system that I can choose to rely on. When I call out for help, it is my innermost guidance system. In that moment of sweet surrender, HELP stands for Hello Eternal Loving Presence.  

How about you? Is judging another’s behavior a problem for you?  Is judging yourself an indication that more self-love is needed?

As women, we OVER-GIVE

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I thought my receiving “muscle” was strong so I was surprised when Larry asked me, “What do you want for your birthday?” I said, “I don’t know. I have everything I could possibly want and don’t need anything.”

He said, “How about I take you to dinner at Humuhumunukunukuapua’a at the Grand Waleia Hotel? It has just been named the best restaurant on Maui.” I had never been there before and I knew it was a very expensive restaurant. I didn’t respond right away and decided to pray about it because I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t want Larry spending that kind of money on dinner. When I prayed about it the next day, I said, “Spirit, I need guidance because spending that kind of money seems frivolous to me.”

“What is your message Holy Spirit?”

You have difficulty receiving something like this because you are accustomed to bargain shopping and feeling like you got a deal. I want you to open yourself up to receive because there is more to come. This is in preparation to receive more.  It is ok to say yes if this is what Larry wants to do for you and what you want to do for your birthday. He wants you to know how special you are and how much he loves you. 

“But Spirit, I would rather go out to dinner three times than spend it in one place.”

“That’s because you don’t believe there will be enough so you have to save it for a rainy day. That is an old belief that doesn’t serve you anymore. There is more than enough.  Allow him to give you this gift and be open to receive.” 

“I feel guilty God because I could give that money to someone who really needs it. What is that about?”

“It is an old belief that you don’t deserve to be treated in this special way. This no longer serves you and, in fact, blocks what I am doing in your life.  It is good for you to celebrate your birthday in a fine dining restaurant. There is more to come and you must be open to receive. Remember this is my money.” 

I understand there is no right or wrong way of doing what I want to do. If I want to go to 3 different restaurants and be thrifty instead of spending it all in one place, that is ok too. I am grateful Spirit brought to light the old beliefs about money (lack, not enough, not deserving) that no longer serve me. I am now open to RECEIVE only good and the riches of the kingdom, which is my birthright. I haven’t made up my mind yet what I want to do, but I know whatever it is, it will be a great birthday. The most important thing is to know that I am loved and cherished by my husband. 

In the book “One with God” the author, Margie Tyler writes, “Every day is an opportunity to RECEIVE something new. You are experiencing this expansion and are now willing to acknowledge that love exists in you and as you. OPENING ONESELF TO RECEIVE LOVE IS THE BIGGEST TASK IN LIFE. Once you’re open, the world expands exponentially and the love becomes all-inclusive. Everyone and everything is joined in that love.”

Do we deprive others of the joy of giving to us when we are unable to receive? When we are unable to receive, we block others from giving us love.

I believe that the more I love and appreciate myself, the more I can RECEIVE love from another. We are not CAPABLE of receiving love from another if we haven’t learned to love ourselves. Sure, I have experienced love from another when I didn’t love myself, but it was never enough. It wasn’t until I gave myself self-love that I was capable of RECEIVING the deep love I craved from another.  It all begins and ends with me as I awaken and come home to myself in my body, mind and spirit.

As women, we know how to give. We know how to over-give. But we have no idea how to RECEIVE. We have a serious crimp in our receiving hose.  In the past, when my ego was running the show, I unconsciously blocked love from coming in because of not feeling deserving or worthy. I believe that the more I open myself to RECEIVE love, the more I can give LOVE.

MY HEART OPENS TO ALLOW MY DEEPEST GOOD – Julia Cameron, author of Artists Way

“Acceptance, openness, allowing are the keys to manifestation. I do not need to will my good. I need to accept my good. I do not need to will my being loved. I need only accept my being loved. I open my heart to accept and allow the good which I desire. I am in God and God is in me. As I yearn for God, I yearn for my own true nature. As I ask God to fulfill me, I ask that I fulfill myself. There is no distance, no need to please or cajole, whimper or manipulate. It is the pleasure of the entire Universe to expand as it desires. My desires are the desires of the Universe. They are fulfilled by the Universe acting through me, toward me.”



I heard the crash and came running in

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What I appreciate about my relationship with Larry is how we both take responsibility for our behavior and actions. We have a lot in common and are both pretty easy going and have learned to go with the flow. We respect and support each other’s needs and what is important to each of us.

Larry and I love being retired. He does what he wants to do during the day and I do what I want to do and we come together at night to relax and share about the day.  We take day trips and go out to breakfast and lunch often. We dance, pray, play and are writing our book together.  He likes to stay home more than I do and I like to play with the girls. I like my quiet time and have my “Pat” days when I want to. In other words, we give each other FREEDOM to do what is important to each of us. It works for us as we are creating a “conscious” love relationship and are enjoying the “fruits of our labor” with Spirit. We are remembering that we are all ONE and connected and there is only LOVE.

But we do have a major difference that we are working on as we want to be respectful of one another. We know that neither one of us is right or wrong, just different perspectives. I like “stuff” which he thinks is “clutter.” I have candles and flowers and pretty things around. He has been great with giving me the freedom to decorate the way I want to because it didn’t seem to matter to him. Larry is more of a “minimalist” and prefers not to have things around, especially in the kitchen. Perhaps because he was in the catering business for so many years, he likes things the way he likes them and I try to be sensitive to that.

When I moved into our current home 3 ½ years ago, it was fully furnished and I had my own stuff that I had accumulated. When Larry moved in 2 ½ years ago, he brought his stuff. There is little storage room in our home and things got stuffed into the kitchen cabinets. I managed to organize it so everything was in its place, or so I thought it was organized and in its place!

It all came to a head when I heard the “crash” of glass in the kitchen. I came running in from outside to see what happened. There was glass all over the floor and counters. Larry was very upset and yelled, “I am so f………frustrated with this clutter.” I had never seen him so angry and it scared me. He is usually very calm.

Instead of staying there and helping him clean up the glass which I would have done in the past to make everything ok, I immediately went back outside to calm myself down. I am grateful that I had the presence of mind to keep my mouth shut and not argue. I sat outside praying and feeling my feelings.

When I came in from outside an hour later, I went into the room to discuss what happened. Larry said, “I have a letter to write on my computer and left the room.” I assumed he wasn’t ready to talk about what happened. I went to the other bedroom and read and prayed.

What upset me, other than the fact that he was so angry, is that I didn’t have any idea that he felt so frustrated and strongly about the “clutter” as he called it.  I wasn’t willing to take responsibility for something I didn’t know about. He had a responsibility to “lovingly” share with me things that were bothering him. An hour later, he came into the room and kind of apologized, but minimized what happened and said, “I don’t want to make a big deal out of this.”

It was a big deal because I had never seen him like that and he scared the S…. out of me. I also wondered if there were other things that bothered him that he wasn’t talking about.

The next morning when we talked about it, Larry said, “I didn’t realize how much the kitchen cabinets bothered me until the glass shattered all over the place. I don’t want to complain about everything, so I usually just ignore things.” I was quiet and listened to him as he shared his perspective.

He admitted that he was lazy and could have done something about the cabinets if he didn’t like them or he could have talked to me about them before he exploded. I admitted that I was also lazy and instead of taking things out that we weren’t using, I kept finding space for them. He agreed to pay attention to when something is bothering him and to let me know and not ignore it. I agreed to not put anything in the closet unless I take something out.

It is my belief that Spirit uses everything for our highest good. Since the “crash” there is a fire under my butt to clean out other closets that have things stuffed into them.  It really feels lighter.


We had an opportunity to address a situation that we both had different perspectives on.  Pat loves paintings and pictures and there isn’t much room on our walls for any more pictures or paintings.  She also loves likes rocks, crystals, statues, and flowers.  She receives great satisfaction and peace from having all these things around.  She loves to go out Saturday mornings to garage sales to find treasures.  I am fine with that and encourage her to go and have fun.

This week, I realized I wasn’t fine with it after the bowl crashed on the counter.  We have little storage space and trying to fit two households into the cabinets is pretty difficult to do.  Our kitchen cabinets are packed jam full of plates, bowl, cups, and glasses.

I had just gotten up from a late nap and was still kind of groggy. When I opened a kitchen cabinet door and reached for a bowl, a dish fell out and crashed into a million pieces on the counter. I was shocked and frightened.  My comfort level went from a calm level of zero to an alarmed level of 1000.  I yelled “I can’t stand all this  #!# *! clutter anymore.” I was angry and didn’t like being startled like that. I proceeded to clean up the mess and started to calm down.  I knew I needed to be alone for awhile. Pat had never seen me this angry so it was upsetting and scary for her.

As I took time to think about what happened, I realized that I wasn’t upset with Pat, but I was upset with myself.  I take care of placing all the cups, glasses, plates back into the cabinets because the cabinets are high and it’s easier for me to reach than it is for Pat. I have been living under these circumstances for more than 2 1/2 years and wondered why I didn’t do something about it up until now?  The truth is it wasn’t important enough and I was just too lazy to do or say anything about it.

Pat encouraged me to speak up when things bother me, rather than let them build up and then explode. I really didn’t know it was bothering me until the crash. I work at being flexible and not complaining. I agreed to do that rather than seeing it as complaining.

The next morning we discussed what happened and what we could do to resolve it. I had the idea to buy some big plastic bins and put the things we are not using into them. We spent the morning going through the cabinets and cleaning them out.  Sometimes I’m not the “brightest bulb in the package” because I never even thought of doing this until now. The lesson learned is to pay attention if something is bothering me, rather than ignore it and do something before I blow my cool. I’ll do better the next time. Pat agreed to not put anything new in the kitchen cabinet unless she takes something out.

In the past, I would have really beaten up on myself. I didn’t do that and was able to take responsibility for my actions and move on.

I was so excited about giving

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About 4 months ago, my friend, Karen, was inspired to start “Miracle Monday” called the 111 Project on Facebook (, I called Karen immediately and told her that I wanted to be a part of it because I knew it was inspired by Spirit. It spoke to my heart, and I decided to pray about it to see how Spirit wanted me to be involved.

Here is a brief description of the 111Project

“Have you been concerned and uncertain about what’s happening? When everything seems so chaotic, how many times have you asked, what can I do? Maybe the inspiration of this 111 Project will guide you to the answer. This 111 Project supports you in the opportunity to heal yourself, heal others, and create the change you are seeking. So, are you ready to take a big leap into greater love and share in miracles with others? This is an invitation to the 111 Project and to join many others in the intention to heal all, including you, from the suffering of separateness and to wake up together and remember that we are all one and the return to love is essential for our happiness and world peace.

Every time I read about what others were doing on Facebook with the 111 Project, I cringed because I wasn’t doing anything, even though I said I wanted to be a part of it. In all honesty, I had some fear about making a financial commitment every week for a year. Once I made the commitment to contribute a few weeks ago, I trusted Spirit would guide me as to where to send my contribution each week.

I trust in divine timing and after praying about it, I made the commitment to contribute $33 a week to a worthy cause for one year. This is my fourth week and I look forward to “Miracle Monday” and being guided where to contribute my money. It is a great experience to feel like I am doing something to heal the separation and heal myself from fear.  The first 3 weeks were easy. I sent it to You Caring (group empowering single woman who were homeless), No Child Hungry and Maui Food Bank.                 .

I would like to share what happened this week:

Spirit put it on my heart to go to the ladies room at McDonald’s, (where many of the homeless in our community spend time) and leave my contribution.  On the morning of “Miracle Monday”, I went to the bank to get 33 one dollar bills. I had a card all ready to put the money in when I realized I forgot the card at home.  I heard Spirit say, “The person that I want to receive this is not there today, so bring it back tomorrow.” I began to pray for the person who would receive my contribution and that they would be open to receiving God’s love.

The message that I wrote in the card said, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and rely not on your own understanding.” I also wrote, “God has your back and don’t give up.” On the outside of the envelope I wrote “PLEASE TAKE – FOR SOMEONE WHO NEEDS IT.”

When I arrived at the McDonald’s the next day, I bought an iced coffee and sat down at a table. I then went to the ladies room and taped the envelope to the mirror and left the bathroom. I just kept praying for the person who God wanted to bless. Over the course of 15 minutes, I watched 4 women go into the bathroom and had no idea who or if anyone would take the envelope. I looked at their faces as they left the bathroom, but saw no indication that they were the one who needed it.

When I finished my drink, I went back into the ladies room and the envelope was gone. I felt excited and said, “YEA” as my Spirit soared. I trusted that the woman who received the contribution knew she was not alone and loved by God.

I was detached from the outcome and didn’t have to know who the woman was who received it. All I knew was that I was guided to Mc Donald’s at the perfect and right time. When we give, we have no idea how our actions will benefit another human being.

I remember thirty-five years ago when I received a card in the mail with a $10 bill in it. I stepped out in faith and bought a blouse that was $10 when I heard the small, still voice of God say, “Buy it and I will provide.” Immediately after hearing the voice, I returned home and found the card and a $10 bill in my mailbox. To this day, I have no idea where the money came from. I still tell the story whenever I can and get the same reaction every time. God is good!

Please consider checking out the 111 Project on Facebook and join in healing the separation and knowing we are all ONE. Thank you Karen for saying yes to Spirit and birthing the 111 Project into the Universe.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
PO Box 28844
Providence, RI 02908