Browsing all articles tagged with simply a woman of faith

I am riding the wave

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As we sat sipping our tea and sharing our lives with one another, My friend looked at me and said, “Pat you are riding the wave.” That really resonated deep within me. I have never surfed, but have watched the surfers here on Maui and it looks exhilarating and fun. Being on top of the wave and flying through the water and air appears to be both scary and adventurous. I know beginner surfers have been injured when the wave hits and they go under. It looks so easy, but it takes many years of commitment and practice.

This made me reflect on my own life and deciding to become a Certified Sacred Sexual Educator. I feel like I am riding the wave and it is fun, adventurous and exhilarating. For me, riding the wave is being aligned with Spirit and allowing things to flow to me with peace, ease and grace. Although it is not effortless, it almost feels like it because ideas and people “show up” to show me the next step for my journey.

For example, although people have known me for the last 10 years as “Simply a Woman of Faith” and I will always be Simply a Woman of Faith, I wanted to reinvent myself and get business cards and a website for my new business. I prayed and asked Spirit to lead me to someone who could help me with a new website.

The next day I was sharing with my daughter, Mary, about wanting to create a new website.  She said, “Mom, I can do it for you, it’s easy.” The next thing I knew while we were still on the phone, she was creating a new website through Word- press, which I am familiar with and we will work on it together. We went to GoDaddy and found a name for my new business. It will be “”  I am so excited and will let you know when it is done.

If I want to continue to ride the wave and not crash and get tossed around and get injured, I need to FOCUS. To be honest, this is not my strongest point. Whenever I leave the house, Larry’s parting words are “Pat, remember to FOCUS.” We laugh because he knows me well and how I dance through life sometimes and don’t take the time to think about things before I jump in head first.

Not only do I need to FOCUS, but I need to pay attention to how I’m taking care of myself in body, mind and spirit. I must be balanced in all areas of my life: eating healthy, exercise, resting, time alone and time with Larry and friends and family.

My number one priority is my relationship with self and Spirit. I take the time each day to go within to pray and meditate. I ask for help and guidance with EVERYTHING. I listen and follow through when I hear the small, still voice of God. I TRUST that I am always being guided and if I am doing something that is not for my highest good, I will be redirected.  It is just like when the GPS on your phone says recalculate when you are going in the wrong direction. I have my personal GPS guiding me.

Many years ago, I made a commitment to do God’s will and follow wherever I was being led. I am living in the mystery and don’t know what’s ahead and that is a good thing  I take one day at a time and choose to live in the present moment because that is really all there is.

I could not have imagined 10 years ago when I retired from the VA that I would be living on Maui, married to my soulmate and now starting a new career at age 72. Oh happy day. I want to continue practicing riding the wave and trusting God with this adventure called my LIFE.


Divine Appointment

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I would like to share a powerful email I received from my friend, Kerri, in response to my blog about meeting the woman on the plane last week. She shares about what happened when she listened to her intuition, trusted and didn’t worry about the money.

“I always enjoy your blogs, but this week’s blog really touched my heart. I could hear my mom’s words to me, “God speaks through his people,” as you described the encounter with the woman on the plane. How could that be anything other than a “Divine Appointment?” You were her angel, and I know she got off that plane feeling different than when she boarded.

I’d like to share my “Divine Appointment” from this past weekend in LA.  I was scheduled to fly back to Maui early on Sunday morning, but by early Saturday afternoon, a few things were clear:

  • I still hadn’t had a chance to meet with the LA team about my Maui-based business and discussing the legalities around using the Harmonyum trademarks.
  • My teacher still hadn’t lectured yet, and 2 of the 4 training days were over.

He always lectures one- or two-nights during trainings, but it’s never

announced when due to his busy schedule.

  • I brought products to sell and as of early Saturday, I had only sold 4 items.

My rack was still full of ponchos, scarves, and t-shirts.

  • A friend offered to give me a Harmonyum session, but it didn’t look like I

would be able to return the favor because of her schedule. I was also

disappointed upon my arrival in LA to find out she wasn’t lecturing during

the training, because she’s brilliant.

As I sat in the lounge at the yoga studio, my intuition was telling me to change my flight back to Maui and go home on Monday. I decided to receive a Harmonyum session to listen and ask for guidance about what to do.

After the session, my friend said, “I will be giving a lecture, but not until noon on Sunday.” That made it clear and I called the airline to change my flight back.  Along with $125 for changing the flight, I found out that I didn’t have enough miles to make the change, but the lady on the phone said, “I can gift 1,000 miles once a day, and I will gift it to you.” There was 1 seat left back to Maui on Monday morning. I then found out that I didn’t owe any extra money for renting the car an extra day because what I had paid covered an entire week. Sweet!!

Right after that, I ran into the three people I needed to meet with about the business/website name, and they asked if I could meet with them on Sunday (what are the chances they’d all be in the lounge at the same time? They work on different teams and are always coming and going).  Right after that, my friend changed her plans for the afternoon, so I was able to offer her a Harmonyum

Awakening to your Sacred Sexuality

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                             An invitation to come to Maui and be healed and transformed

                                        AWAKENING TO YOUR SACRED SEXUALITY 

  • RECONNECT with your body, embrace your full feminine potential
  • HEAL trauma that keeps you small and inhibited
  • AWAKEN and nourish your powerful life force energy
  • IGNITE your Divine Power in a uniquely feminine way
  • RECLAIM your Passion, Power, Pleasure and Creativity
  • EXPERIENCE more self-love, joy, expansion and vitality in your life
  • SPEAK your truth with confidence, peace, ease and grace


This workshop is a great way to get introduced to sacred sexual awakening and healing (AH) in a safe, clear impeccable step-by-step process. The AH practice is a self-healing modality for clearing trauma, shame and blocks to pleasure and enjoyment. We hold trauma, emotional and energetic imprints in our bodies that can be released with this unique, transformational healing. 


Facilitators: Pat Hastings-Burns, Antisk Atma, Barbara Lezynski

Date:   January 5 & 6, 2019

Time:  9 am to 5 pm

Place:  Waleia Healing Center, Maui HI

Price:  $250 early bird special

                                           Photo of Wailea Healing Center - Kihei, HI, United States. Our new floor is looking great



To Sign Up Contact: Pat Hastings-Burns 401-862-8859

I was devastated with the news

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I shared a few weeks ago that the sale of my condo in Rhode Island fell through 4 days before settlement. Of course, I was disappointed and shocked, but I accepted “what is” and put the condo back on the market.

In last week’s blog I shared I had another offer on the condo. It was not what I had expected (several thousand dollars less), but I was grateful I had an offer. We signed the agreement and the inspection was set for this week. I felt peaceful and envisioned everything moving with peace, ease and grace.

I received a call from my real estate agent the morning of the inspection and I could tell in her voice that she didn’t have good news. She said, “Pat, I’m sorry to tell you this but the woman backed out of sale and cancelled the inspection.  We will have to start all over and put the house back on the market.” I was in SHOCK and felt very weary.

I got off the phone and cried in Larry’s arms because I felt so disappointed and devastated. I couldn’t believe what was happening because it was the third offer that fell through and the condo has been empty since July.

It felt like I was hit by a truck and I spent the day going within and loving myself;  two- hour nap, journaling my feelings, praying, crying, forgiving, remembering, hot bath, breathing and letting go of expectations and what I wanted.

I needed to allow myself to BE and feel my feelings and not do a spiritual bypass, even though it felt awful. I know my feelings are messages from my soul and I needed to pay attention.  Fear quickly came to the surface as I “future tripped” on what could happen if I didn’t sell my condo. I wondered if I was doing something wrong?” Has that ever happened to you when something doesn’t turn out the way you envisioned or wanted?

I asked Spirit for a message because I didn’t understand what was going on. Here is what I received.

“This is not your fault. You haven’t done anything wrong. You cannot see the whole picture in this moment. Accept what is and TRUST. Let go of your expectations and what you want. Most of all, love yourself and don’t beat up on yourself. You are not alone. I am providing for you. You need to relax and rest in me. Feel your feelings and then let them go.” 

When I woke up the next morning, I felt hopeful, peaceful, renewed and like something had shifted deep inside of me. Spirit guided me to read a book that I bought forty- three years ago when I was going through a difficult time and needed God’s guidance.  It’s called “How God Guides us” by Don Basham.

My spiritual life has been based on the wisdom from this small book that cost $1.00.  God guides us through open and closed doors. When I’m not sure what direction to go, my prayer is always “God open the door if it is for my highest good and close the door if it is not.” It has always worked, but it is not always easy when the door is closed in your face, especially when it is closed 3 times as it has been with my condo.  Basham writes:

* Closed doors are a vital part of guidance. Don’t be afraid of closed doors. 

* When God closes a door, it’s because His/Her plan involves something else.

   If a door is closed, another door will open.  

* The door of His/Her choice will open further down the line. 

* Faith grows between that time when you think God has to answer and that time  

  when he finally does.

I wrote a book called Simply a Woman of Faith and have been on the faith journey for many years. My faith muscles are growing stronger and stronger every day. I only want to be aligned with God’s will and I trust I am being guided through open and closed doors.

We are all invited to make a commitment to TRUST Spirit, God, Love and the Universe even more deeply and to remember everything is already planned in the mind of God and we are always being guided to our highest and best good.

Basham writes in his book, “Living by faith is like living in the midst of a miracle on the edge of a disaster. IF God doesn’t come through, you go UNDER.”

Come to Maui and retreat

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Do you listen to the small, still voice of God within or do you ignore the messages that you receive every day? I wouldn’t be living on Maui if I hadn’t listened, followed my heart and trusted I was being led.

When we are paying attention, messages come in many ways; through our dreams, books, other people, prayer, synchronicities, journaling, meditation or just an intuitive knowing what to do next in your life.

I recently had a dream that I was pregnant. I work with my dreams and asked Spirit, “What new life (project, idea) is being birthed in me?” I had no idea what it was and just waited for something to show up. And it did! Here is what happened:

I met Melina in July at the Sacred Feminine Mystery School we were both attending. I loved her energy and we spent time getting to know one another. She shared how much she loved “Mother Maui” as she had been there many times before.  She was thrilled when I invited her to stay with us in our home.  She accepted the offer and has been with us all week. Because of her experience, I have given BIRTH to this new DIVINE IDEA.

Larry and I are opening our hearts and home and will be offering our “GUEST SUITE” for a personal retreat to nurture your soul and spirit while you are on Maui.

Have you always dreamed about visiting Maui to experience its glorious sunsets, white sand beaches and beautiful flowers?  Is Spirit calling you to come away to renew and restore your soul and spirit? There will always be excuses of why you can’t do something for yourself. I invite you to ask yourself, “If not now, when?”

“We invite you to experience the peaceful environment and enjoy our lovely spacious home, with a beautiful panoramic view of the Pacific! You will enjoy our private GUEST SUITE with your own bathroom.  This bedroom is filled with natural light and has a stunning ocean view with a sliding patio door that leads directly out to the lanai. You can enjoy the common area which includes kitchen, dining room and living room. Washer and dryer and parking are included.  Sip your morning coffee/tea while admiring the ocean view and open yourself to the peace and tranquility around you 

If you desire, we will share helpful hints about special places to visit for renewal, and time to simply unwind and flow into your own internal rhythm. We will provide you with helpful details to help ease your retreat planning, such as affordable places to rent a car, and where to pick up your food on your 1/2-hour drive from the airport to our home.

We prefer to host only female guests who are traveling solo, and on a weekly basis.  This respite is a sacred time for you to share with yourself. Our deepest desire is that our home will offer you peace and love and what you seek in renewal, and more. Let each day of your stay be one guided by your heart as it directs you to the many pleasures that Maui has to offer”.

If your heart is pounding and you feel excited about the prospect of a personal woman’s retreat on Maui, please email me or call 401-862-8859. We would love to talk and discuss all of the possibilities with you!

I am so honored to be the first woman to accept the loving invitation of a personal retreat on Maui.  Pat and Larry have a beautiful and spacious, love filled, home.  My one-week stay has been truly splendid and nurturing. I was greeted so lovingly by both of them, shown around the house, and sunk shortly thereafter into a comfortable bed where I slipped into a welcoming sleep after many hours of travel.  It was dark when I arrived, so it wasn’t until morning that I was able to see that just down the hill from where their home is situated, the ocean makes her presence known by a long expanse of blue in three directions.  There is a sweet melody of birdsong that soothes, the fragrance of Plumeria that bloom in the garden, and the house is peaceful and filled with fresh, pure air and sunlight.   

My week has been filled with sacred time with Maui Mama! With daily dips in the ocean, and sunshine streaming through my mind, my eyes have filled with light as they have a deep affinity with the healing blue of ocean and sky.  Every day has been a wonderful honopono adventure where I have been guided by Spirit.  I have cherished every minute of it! Before my arrival, Pat shared all I should know to plan my trip.  She was present at the beginning and end of my day to hear of my adventures, or not, as I was invited to do whatever I wanted.   

I leave this evening on a red eye flight, not wanting my retreat to ever end, yet full from the love of this home and Maui, ready to bring my reconnection of heart and soul home with me.  I cannot express my gratitude to my kind hosts, Pat and Larry, for sharing their guest suite with me. The opportunity to come home to myself on this lovely isle is truly graced with the spirit of Aloha!   

With my deepest gratitude, I will be back! 


September 2018


I must not only talk the talk, but I must walk it

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I not only have to talk the talk, but I must be willing to WALK the WALK. Spirit has given me another opportunity to TRUST and put into practice what I believe about life. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND PURPOSE AND I AM ALWAYS GUIDED TO MY HIGHEST AND GREATEST GOOD.

I’ve shared that I sold my condo in Rhode Island and closing was scheduled for August 28th. Everything was in order and papers were signed and FedEx to the lawyer. Four days prior to the closing, I received a phone call from my real estate agent, Bethany. She said, “Pat, I have some bad news for you.” I took a deep breath and said, “Oh, what is going on?”  She said, “The offer fell through because the buyer lost his job and will be unable to purchase the condo.”

Of course, I felt shocked and disappointed, but thankfully my default kicked in right away. I chose to TRUST in the divine plan for my life and let go of what I wanted or thought was right. It was clear that Spirit had another plan and hadn’t consulted me. Isn’t that always the way it is!

Still in shock, I called my son, Brian, who had been handling all the details with selling the condo. It just came out of my mouth and I said, “Brian, I have a THANK YOU GOD.” I’m sure he expected good news and not that the deal fell through. What an opportunity to share with Brian my trust in Spirit and faith walk.

I felt peaceful. which I knew was a gift from God. In the past, I would have felt fear and panic because we had to start all over again and put the condo back on the market. It had already been unoccupied since July 1.

It helped that Spirit brought to mind what happened 20 years ago when I tried to remortgage my home. I was in the process of getting a divorce and I was living alone in my house. If I wanted to stay in the house, I needed to remortgage and get a lower interest rate.

All of the paper work was completed, but when I went to the bank for the closing, they informed me that my husband had decided not to sign the papers at the last minute. I pleaded with them, but to no avail. They had to have his signature since we weren’t divorced yet.  I couldn’t believe it and was not a happy camper.

God had another plan, a better one. A week later, I received a letter from the bank that held my existing mortgage. I was shocked when I read the letter that said, “Because it is an adjustable mortgage, your interest rate has gone down on its own.” If my husband had signed the papers I would have had to pay a few thousand dollars to remortgage.  I saved money and the interest rate was exactly what I wanted.

For many years, my faith walk has been through asking Spirit to open or close the door when I’m not sure which way to go. It works every time as I have had many closed doors at the last minute, as well as doors that appear to open miraculously.

Clearly, the condo falling through 4 days prior to the closing is another example of Spirit closing the door. I know, without a doubt, that God’s plan is better than mine and I have been given another opportunity to TRUST Love.  My faith muscles continue to get stronger and stronger.

Stay tuned as I know I will have another example of how God works as I trust the divine plan to unfold in my life. It is my belief that everything has already been planned in the mind of God so all I need to do is show up, relax, let go and surrender.



Listening to your heart and following Spirit

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Spirit said, “You must be willing and ready to change directions in your life, especially when you don’t know WHY.” Let me share what happened.

My best friend, Kati, invited me to her birthday party this week.  My pupu was prepared and I was ready to go.  All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I didn’t want to go and felt really uncomfortable about going. I prayed about it and asked Spirit for guidance.  It would be one thing if I didn’t feel good, but I felt fine. How was I going to explain this to her and, of course, I didn’t want to disappoint her? It was so strong that I had to follow my heart and trust I was being led by Spirit.

I called Kati and said, “I won’t be coming to your party tonight and I don’t know why.” I felt stupid, but needed to be totally honest. Of course, she was disappointed, but understood I needed to follow my heart. We were both curious as to why this was happening. When I’ve changed my mind in the past about something I was doing, the next day it would be clear what the reason was. I decided that I wouldn’t beat up on myself and that I would trust Spirit whether the reason was clear or not.

When I prayed about it the next day because I didn’t know why I said no, , Spirit said,

“Most of your life you have put others’ needs first because you needed their love. Today, you are loving yourself first and the love you share now with others is my love.  You followed your heart and risked your friend’s disapproval. I know it was difficult and uncomfortable saying no to her, but you also knew she would understand. It was more important to follow Spirit and your heart than to please Kati. You are going deeper in your trust of me and my guidance.”

This brings to mind what happened when I moved to Maui almost 7 years ago. I had to be willing to change directions because it was my plan to continue coaching, teaching and speaking. That was not God’s plan! I was only here a few weeks and settling in when I heard Spirit clearly say, “I don’t want you to do anything, but I want you to learn how TO BE.”  I knew how TO DO, but I didn’t know how TO BE.  There was resistance at first because I thought I knew how TO BE, but I didn’t

So much has happened since I listened and learned how TO BE.

  • I’ve learned the art of “allowing” and to surrender and go with the flow instead of pushing my way and making things happen. Exhausting!
  • I’ve learned how to TRUST myself and inner guidance, which enables me to RECEIVE the good that the Divine wants to give me.
  • I’ve learned how to say no when I need to and only do what feels right.
  • I’ve learned to love and appreciate all of me, my shadow as well as my light.
  • I’ve learned to give up control and RELAX knowing everything happens for a reason, has a purpose and there are no mistakes.
  • I’ve learned to live in gratitude knowing I am being led to my greatest and highest good.
  • I’ve learned to live in the moment because that is all there is.

I’ve really “settled in” to this peaceful place and enjoy relaxing, playing, swimming, surrendering and BEING. Now I am hearing Spirit say again, “YOU NEED TO CHANGE DIRECTIONS AND FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND SOUL’S CALLING.”  Of course, I will still do the things I love.

I ask for the grace to remember all I’ve learned in this time of BEING and bring these qualities to the new chapter with the Sacred Sexual Awakening and Healing trainings and workshops in which I’m involved in.

I’m excited as I am following my heart and soul’s calling. I feel honored, blessed, grateful, expanded and humbled to be doing this powerful sacred healing work with women.

Our first workshop on Maui is called “Awakening to Sacred Sexuality” and is scheduled for January 5th & 6th at the Waleia Healing Center.  L will be assisting Amrita Grace as an apprentice for the Awakening & Healing workshop in Oakland, California in October. I will be attending a week- long Awakening and Healing retreat in Costa Rica with Caroline Muir and Amrita Grace in November. Oh, happy day! I am free and ready to fly with the angels.

Are you following your heart and are you willing to change direction when Spirit guides you?



It was a busy day for Spirit

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Before I left my house to meet Dee for coffee this morning, I heard Spirit say, “You need to give 3 books away and bring one for Dee today.”  I was meeting Dee for the first time and had no idea what her spirituality was. I reached out to support her after a friend sent me an email explaining that Dee was coming to Maui for a 13=week contract as a PTA and didn’t know anyone.

After the initial chatter and getting to know one another, she asked, “How did you get to Maui?” I shared how I followed my heart after I heard Spirit’s invitation to leave my home and family and move to Maui. She was very interested and said, “How do you hear Spirit and how long have you been doing this? I would like to learn how to do that.” I smiled and said, “I’ve been on the spiritual path for over 40 years and I listen and practice a lot.”

I was off and running because I love to share my story and inspire others to go within for their answers. I asked, “Do you have a daily spiritual practice?”  She said, “I pray every day to God, but don’t always know if it’s God voice.”

I shared my “blouse story” with her of how I stepped out in faith after I heard the small, still voice of God say, “BUY IT AND I WILL PROVIDE.” It was a difficult time in my life as my husband was out of work for a year and we had 4 children under the age of 10. We had just applied for welfare so money was very tight. I went to the local boutique to kill some time as I waited to pick up the kids from school. I was drawn to the sale rack in back of the store and found a blouse that I fell in love with. It was $10 and I had $10 in my pocket that was for milk and bread on the way home. As I reluctantly put the blouse back, I heard the small, still voice of God say, BUY It AND I WILL PROVIDE.” I stood there stunned and remember thinking, “is that you God?” Thankfully, I trusted the voice and bought the blouse.

I returned home after picking up the kids from school and not buying milk and bread. I grabbed the mail and found the white envelope with “PAT” written on it.  I couldn’t believe my eyes when I opened it and found a crisp ten-dollar bill and note that said, To Pat, From the son of a carpenter.” That was thirty-five years ago and I am still listening to the voice within and stepping out in faith.

Dee sat there stunned after I finished my story. She had God bumps from head to toe as I did. I am grateful that I listened to Spirit and brought a copy of my book, Simply A Woman of Faith to give to her.  She was thrilled when I handed her my  book and said, “I will read this for sure.”  It was exactly what she needed.

I had 2 more books to give away. Larry and I go to Fabiani’s for breakfast every Sunday and Dee is always our waitress. I was really surprised last week when she reached out and hugged me when we left.  For months, I have heard Spirit say, “I want you to give Dee your book.”

Today was the day to give Dee my book. I walked into the restaurant and when she came up to me, I said, “I have a gift for you” and handed her my book. She looked into my eyes and looked genuinely pleased. We embraced and hugged one another tightly.

I trust God’s timing is perfect and that I am always being led. I must pay attention when I hear the small, still voice of God and not be concerned with the results or even if they read the book when I give it away. What is important is that I listen and do what I am instructed to do.

I had one more book to give away and heard Spirit say to go to the library and donate my book, which I did. While I was there, I inquired about giving a presentation on “Awakening to Your Sacred Sexuality.” The plan is to give a talk in November at the library to promote our workshop on Maui January 5th & 6th.

It was a busy day for Spirit!  I am grateful that I listen to the Divine voice within and follow what it says to do. I never know where I will be led and I’m not attached to the outcome. I trust it will be for my highest and best good.  Life gets better and better and continues to surprise and delight me.




The root of misery is control

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Author Kute Blackson writes, “The root of misery is control. Control is the master addiction, the hardest one to give up. Control is an illusion, as there is so much in life that we cannot control. When you try to control what you cannot, then suffering is your guaranteed result.”

Control is about CONSTRICTION and CONTRACTION. It’s been my experience that I tend to want to control when I feel threatened or afraid that I’m going to lose something or I’m not going to get what I want. The opposite of control is EXPANSION.  It’s about being in the flow, trusting, being, surrendering to “what is” and letting go.

All I can change is ME, plain and simple. I cannot change my spouse, my children, my friends or the world. None of us have that kind of power. We may observe things that are harmful that our loved ones are doing to themselves i.e., not taking care of their bodies, eating poorly, not exercising, staying in stressful situations, holding onto resentments, being unwilling to forgive, caught up in addictions, not leaving a marriage or job that is not for their highest good.  The list could go on and on. Can you relate? Is there someone in your life who you would like to change or control?


It is difficult to not want to CONTROL someone you love when you think they are hurting themselves and can’t see it or don’t want to see what they are doing. Of course, we love them and want the best for them. You may be thinking now, “Shouldn’t I share my thoughts and concerns with them?” Of course, you share your concerns about what they are doing or not doing. After you have shared your concerns, the key is to then LET GO, DETACH and PRAY and SEND LOVE. I invite you to ask yourself some questions:


  • Do I think I am God and know what’s best for someone I love?


  • Why don’t I trust that it is their journey to walk and when they are ready to change something in their lives, they will?


  • Is it my egoic thinking that I think I know best and have the answers for their lives?


When I have been “awakened” to something that needs changing in my own life, it is natural for me to want to share it with those I love and want them to get on board. But when I try to push it down their throats, nag, preach, guilt them or leave books around to educate them, it is about trying to control another, no matter how well- meaning I am.  My loved ones may never choose to change and it is not my responsibility to change them or judge them


It is disrespectful when I try to control another. So often we are not even aware of how controlling we are and just think we are being helpful to those we love. Thankfully, I am learning that trying to control another’s destiny just doesn’t work.


What comes to mind is a situation that I had with my son many years ago. It was like a light bulb went off when I realized I was trying to control him because I wanted him to UNDERSTAND how I was feeling. I shared with him that I felt hurt about something he had done. He didn’t get it and defended himself. I tried everything I could to make him understand what I was feeling and felt frustrated and angry that he wasn’t getting it and I wasn’t willing to let it go.


All of a sudden (after a long time of trying to get him to see it my way) Spirit showed me that it was my control issues that I needed to look at. I was trying to control his reaction to me because I needed or wanted him to understand what I was feeling. It was a lesson that I will never forget and hopefully never do it again.


I am grateful I have the tools and know how to detach and stay out of another’s business. I have learned to love them just as they are and trust they will change if and when they want to.  My responsibility is to focus on myself and what I need to do in my own life and love others just as they are because we are all doing the best we can.


I choose LOVE

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I really want my default to be “I choose Love” in all situations and with all people instead of blaming, judging, shaming, copping an attitude or feeling resentful when things don’t go my way or the way I think they should go with other people. Can you relate?

It takes lots of practice to have my default be “I choose Love.”  It doesn’t come naturally to choose love when I’m pissed or think I’ve been wronged or not respected. My natural tendency is to shut down or want to “get back” and judge the other person when I’m hurt or angry.

Spirit always gives me the perfect opportunities to practice choosing Love. Sometimes it may take me awhile but when I’m conscious, I see everything as opportunities to grow and change.

We all have expectations of what we hope for or want things to look like. It’s probably impossible not to have expectations.  We go on vacation and we expect or hope the weather will be beautiful. We have a date with a new person and hope it will go well. Of course, being positive is healthy and there is nothing wrong with that.

When things don’t go my way and how I had hoped they would go, I have the opportunity to accept “What is” and live in the moment. When I accept things or people just as they are, I have peace. I lose my peace and serenity when I want to control people and how they do things or don’t do things.

I have learned that I am responsible for myself and my reactions, feelings and behaviors. We fail to understand that all we have control over is ourselves and not another. I cannot control anyone else to do something the way I expect them to do it.

My opportunity this week had to do with expecting an event to go in a certain direction with a friend. I had it pictured in my mind (an expectation) how I wanted it to unfold. When it didn’t go the way I pictured it, I felt resentful, at first, and judged my friend. I allowed myself to feel my disappointment because I didn’t want to do a “spiritual bypass” and push my feelings down.

Instead of wallowing in the resentment and disappointment, I started to repeat to myself, “I choose Love, I choose Love.” Within a few minutes, I felt peaceful and the resentment was gone. I have read that “An expectation is a premeditated resentment.”

When I saw my friend the next day, by choosing Love, I didn’t feel any resentment or judgement and we had a great day together. The outcome would have been very different and I would have missed out on a great spiritual experience if I hadn’t chosen Love.

I am grateful that I recognize my behaviors and that I have the tools to change myself one day at a time a time. I am learning to not take things personal, to detach from outcomes and to know that I am not responsible for another person’s happiness.

Today I choose Love, how about you?

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
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