Browsing all articles tagged with simply a woman of faith

The root of misery is control

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Aug
18

Author Kute Blackson writes, “The root of misery is control. Control is the master addiction, the hardest one to give up. Control is an illusion, as there is so much in life that we cannot control. When you try to control what you cannot, then suffering is your guaranteed result.”

Control is about CONSTRICTION and CONTRACTION. It’s been my experience that I tend to want to control when I feel threatened or afraid that I’m going to lose something or I’m not going to get what I want. The opposite of control is EXPANSION.  It’s about being in the flow, trusting, being, surrendering to “what is” and letting go.

All I can change is ME, plain and simple. I cannot change my spouse, my children, my friends or the world. None of us have that kind of power. We may observe things that are harmful that our loved ones are doing to themselves i.e., not taking care of their bodies, eating poorly, not exercising, staying in stressful situations, holding onto resentments, being unwilling to forgive, caught up in addictions, not leaving a marriage or job that is not for their highest good.  The list could go on and on. Can you relate? Is there someone in your life who you would like to change or control?

 

It is difficult to not want to CONTROL someone you love when you think they are hurting themselves and can’t see it or don’t want to see what they are doing. Of course, we love them and want the best for them. You may be thinking now, “Shouldn’t I share my thoughts and concerns with them?” Of course, you share your concerns about what they are doing or not doing. After you have shared your concerns, the key is to then LET GO, DETACH and PRAY and SEND LOVE. I invite you to ask yourself some questions:

 

  • Do I think I am God and know what’s best for someone I love?

 

  • Why don’t I trust that it is their journey to walk and when they are ready to change something in their lives, they will?

 

  • Is it my egoic thinking that I think I know best and have the answers for their lives?

 

When I have been “awakened” to something that needs changing in my own life, it is natural for me to want to share it with those I love and want them to get on board. But when I try to push it down their throats, nag, preach, guilt them or leave books around to educate them, it is about trying to control another, no matter how well- meaning I am.  My loved ones may never choose to change and it is not my responsibility to change them or judge them

 

It is disrespectful when I try to control another. So often we are not even aware of how controlling we are and just think we are being helpful to those we love. Thankfully, I am learning that trying to control another’s destiny just doesn’t work.

 

What comes to mind is a situation that I had with my son many years ago. It was like a light bulb went off when I realized I was trying to control him because I wanted him to UNDERSTAND how I was feeling. I shared with him that I felt hurt about something he had done. He didn’t get it and defended himself. I tried everything I could to make him understand what I was feeling and felt frustrated and angry that he wasn’t getting it and I wasn’t willing to let it go.

 

All of a sudden (after a long time of trying to get him to see it my way) Spirit showed me that it was my control issues that I needed to look at. I was trying to control his reaction to me because I needed or wanted him to understand what I was feeling. It was a lesson that I will never forget and hopefully never do it again.

 

I am grateful I have the tools and know how to detach and stay out of another’s business. I have learned to love them just as they are and trust they will change if and when they want to.  My responsibility is to focus on myself and what I need to do in my own life and love others just as they are because we are all doing the best we can.

 

I choose LOVE

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Aug
18

I really want my default to be “I choose Love” in all situations and with all people instead of blaming, judging, shaming, copping an attitude or feeling resentful when things don’t go my way or the way I think they should go with other people. Can you relate?

It takes lots of practice to have my default be “I choose Love.”  It doesn’t come naturally to choose love when I’m pissed or think I’ve been wronged or not respected. My natural tendency is to shut down or want to “get back” and judge the other person when I’m hurt or angry.

Spirit always gives me the perfect opportunities to practice choosing Love. Sometimes it may take me awhile but when I’m conscious, I see everything as opportunities to grow and change.

We all have expectations of what we hope for or want things to look like. It’s probably impossible not to have expectations.  We go on vacation and we expect or hope the weather will be beautiful. We have a date with a new person and hope it will go well. Of course, being positive is healthy and there is nothing wrong with that.

When things don’t go my way and how I had hoped they would go, I have the opportunity to accept “What is” and live in the moment. When I accept things or people just as they are, I have peace. I lose my peace and serenity when I want to control people and how they do things or don’t do things.

I have learned that I am responsible for myself and my reactions, feelings and behaviors. We fail to understand that all we have control over is ourselves and not another. I cannot control anyone else to do something the way I expect them to do it.

My opportunity this week had to do with expecting an event to go in a certain direction with a friend. I had it pictured in my mind (an expectation) how I wanted it to unfold. When it didn’t go the way I pictured it, I felt resentful, at first, and judged my friend. I allowed myself to feel my disappointment because I didn’t want to do a “spiritual bypass” and push my feelings down.

Instead of wallowing in the resentment and disappointment, I started to repeat to myself, “I choose Love, I choose Love.” Within a few minutes, I felt peaceful and the resentment was gone. I have read that “An expectation is a premeditated resentment.”

When I saw my friend the next day, by choosing Love, I didn’t feel any resentment or judgement and we had a great day together. The outcome would have been very different and I would have missed out on a great spiritual experience if I hadn’t chosen Love.

I am grateful that I recognize my behaviors and that I have the tools to change myself one day at a time a time. I am learning to not take things personal, to detach from outcomes and to know that I am not responsible for another person’s happiness.

Today I choose Love, how about you?

There is a gift in everything

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Jun
17

I don’t know about you but when I am going through a difficult time in my life either emotionally, spiritually, financially or physically, I don’t always recognize the gifts it has for me. I may be experiencing anger, depression or sadness and need time to feel and process my feelings.

When I am open and awake, it’s often after I go through something that I see the gifts that came from the experience. For example: when I had my cancer scare 6 months ago and had to see a cancer specialist to rule out cancer, something shifted inside of me. Of course, I was grateful that I didn’t have cancer and that I could be treated with diet.

I have four grandchildren ranging from one years old to 27 years old.  My oldest grandsons are young adults and are 22 and 27 years old.  Although we love one another and are close, I didn’t have a lot of phone communication with the older ones during the year. We have a yearly reunion in Rhode Island and we spend time together there.  We had great intentions and when we left one other, we promised we would keep in touch, but we seldom did.

After the cancer scare, I called both of my grandsons and shared about my health issues and the cancer scare. I said, “This has made me aware of what is really important in my life, especially my family and friends. Would you like to make a commitment to talk every two weeks?” They both said, “Yes” and we agreed we would take turns calling one another. It was a challenge with their work and school schedules and being six hours difference, but we did it and I looked forward to our conversations.

When I was talking to my grandson, Josh, a couple of weeks ago on our regular scheduled times, we talked about him coming to visit with us as he had just finished his college semester. While we were on the phone, he decided to look on line to see what it would cost to fly to Maui. We were both shocked to see how low the fare was. He was over the top excited and within a week, he booked a flight to Maui and arrived this week.

After he booked the flight he called and said, “Grandma, thanks for giving me the “push” because I really needed this in my life now.” I laughed and remembered when he was born 22 years ago. I was his mother’s birth coach and supported her as she pushed him out to the world and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy.

What a delight when we picked him up at the airport and greeted one another. We hugged me and  picked me up off the ground. What a fine young man he has become and a true JOY to have him staying with us for two weeks. He is adventurous and has been exploring the island, taking walks on the beach, swimming and meeting the locals. Josh and I took a ferry ride to another island called, Lanai, and he snorkeled and had a blast. We plan to do a helicopter ride this week together.  I am sure it will be thrilling. Up up and away we go!

Larry calls him a “Gentle Giant.” He has such a beautiful spirit and I call him an “old soul.”  I am so proud of him and how he lives his life. I looked at him and said, “Your mannerisms and facial expressions remind me of your dad.” He smiled and said, “I am happy to be growing up like my HERO.” My heart did a little flip for him and for my son, Brian.

I have shared about how much Larry and I love the book, Love is All There Is written by the Source. After having a conversation with Josh about love being the only answer, Larry was led to give the book to him and he’s been reading it and loving it.  I wish I had that book when I was 22 years old and know what I know now.

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Spending time with Josh over a meal. walking the beach, watching a sunset or driving around the island has given Larry and I both the opportunity to share our spiritual beliefs and what gives our life purpose and meaning. What a gift it has been for all of us.  It gives me great hope for the future generation when I look at Josh and hear him share his thoughts about spirituality and life.

I am grateful and blessed for all the gifts in my life.

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I asked for help

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Jan
29

I had to remind myself what I shared with my clients when they came into therapy.  I said, “It is a sign of strength when you ask for help.” Why doesn’t it feel like I am strong when I ask for help? In some instances, I have felt weak, embarrassed and even shameful that I didn’t know how to do something or figure something out on my own and was forced to ask for help.

I asked myself some questions:

  • Is it my pride that I think I should know how to do things or figure things out on my own?
  • Am I afraid of feeling vulnerable?
  • Am I afraid of being judged or looking stupid?
  • Do I think I am bothering someone if I ask for help?

If I believe it’s a weakness, of course, I don’t want to ask for help. Who wants to feel weak? If someone asks me for help, I feel honored to share my experience. If for some reason I cannot help them, I am free to tell them that and direct them to someone who can help them.

It is an old belief that no longer serves me when I am unable to ask for help when I need it. Not only am I depriving myself of what I need and I will suffer needlessly, but I am depriving another of helping me and sharing their experience.  Of course, we all want to figure things out on our own because it feels good. But, sometimes we just need to swallow our pride and ask for help.

I had an opportunity to ask for help this week from my daughter, Mary, who is staying with us for several weeks. For years, Mary has been health conscious and has tried to share her wisdom with me, but unfortunately, I wasn’t open until now.  It felt humbling and vulnerable asking for help after being so resistant for so many years. Here is what happened:

I had my follow-up appointment with my primary care doctor this week and wasn’t expecting new information about my health since the plan was to wait a few months before taking another blood test to see if my platelets were back to normal and inflammation gone. A new piece to the puzzle of why I have inflammation was revealed and for this, I am grateful.

Since I was feeling so much better after following the anti-inflammatory diet and not eating sugar for the last 2 months, I was very surprised when the doctor shared the test results that were taken at last visit.

Since I wasn’t expecting the tests results to be a bacterial infection in my gut, I felt like I was knocked off my horse and felt very overwhelmed on how to proceed. The doctor prescribed an antibiotic and probiotics to follow-up with.

Mary and I were eating breakfast when I had my “melt down” and shared with her how overwhelmed I  felt and asked for her help. She was so compassionate and loving and told me exactly what I needed to do to get rid of the bacteria/infection in my gut. She also shared how important it was that when I finished the antibiotic, l have no sugar, including fruit for a week. She not only told me what I needed to do, she said “I will cook for you to make sure you have nothing with sugar in it.”  How much better does it get than this? Instead of feeling overwhelmed as I had been feeling, I felt grateful, relieved and so loved.

Mary is my coach and I will eat whatever she tells me to eat and not to eat because my health is important.  This change of attitude and my willingness to follow the plan truly is God’s grace and a miracle for me. I am humbled and grateful that she is here to guide and support me. I shared in a past blog that Mary and Herbie were volunteering and staying at a bee farm for 2 weeks. This fell through at the last minute, so they are here with us for these 2 weeks.

I truly see God’s hand and perfect timing in this since Mary is present and willing to help me when I needed her the most. I have changed my thinking and know without a doubt that asking for help is a strength, and not a weakness.

How about you? Are you able to ask for help when you need it? We are not meant to suffer alone, we need one another on this journey of life.

Divine abundance

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Jan
29

Happy New Year.  I wanted to start the blog with a quote from the DailyWord because it speaks to my heart about my life and how it has unfolded.

“Divine Abundance is unlimited. I am prepared and open to receive it all. I surrender to life’s plan for me, EXPECT the best and receive it with joyful gratitude.”

It has been 6 years this month that I stepped out in faith and moved to Maui. I can hardly believe how my life has unfolded. Although, like most of us, I had created vision boards of what I wanted to create in my life, I could not have imagined it to be this magnificent. God’s plan is always so much greater than I could have ever imagined. I just kept saying “YES” and moving forward, despite all my fears and doubts.

Larry and I feel especially blessed this week because our daughter, Mary, and our grandson, Herbie, are staying with us for 7 weeks.  Mary and Herbie are volunteering at a Bee farm for 2 of the weeks. Every morning, Mary and Herbie do their stretching on our Lanai and then go for a run in the neighborhood. It is awesome to watch Herbie following his mamma and doing the same moves as she does. Mary is home schooling him so for the next few hours, they are doing school work as well as learning about the ocean and different parts of the island.

We are blessed to have our son, Tim, from Boise, Idaho also staying with us for a week. We are taking a trip to Hana and staying in a lovely cabin for 2 nights with an outdoor hot tub. We will be exploring the beaches and trails in Hana, as well as eating delicious meals that Mary loves to cook.

We are having a blast playing in the waves at the beach and going down the slide at the pool. Herbie was a little reluctant at first to go down the slide and didn’t know if he wanted to do it. Mary went first and then he went behind her. He loved it so much that he went down ten more times.

Grandma was next in line and very reluctant to go down because it’s been years since I went down a water slide. I felt embarrassed not to go since my 8 year old grandson was so courageous to go down. I have to say it was quite the ride and I’m glad I did it, but once was enough!

We had a “Meet the kids” party with several of our friends and had so much fun playing and wearing hats and glasses.

I think the greatest gift is seeing the love that Mary and Herbie have for one another. She adores him and he adores her. Mary is patient, kind and loving with him. I am amazed at how she talks to Herbie about everything. He is like a sponge and so open to learning. Herbie is truly a light and so full of love and innocence. I am so grateful that my daughter was given the opportunity to be a mother and am so proud of her. He is a gift from Heaven to all of us.

 

 

Don’t let the doctor put fear in you-you don’t have cancer

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Dec
14

I made a decision that I would not allow fear to rob me of my peace. Whenever I thought about my new health issues, I said “I choose LOVE.” I said it constantly! It really worked because I didn’t lose my peace and even felt detached from it all, which was truly a miracle.

What could have caused Larry and I to be in a state of worry and panic choosing LOVE kept us centered and peaceful. It all started when I asked my doctor to do some blood tests because I was feeling more tired than usual. I have a history of anemia and thought for sure that I was anemic again.

In my prayer about the upcoming visit with the doctor, Spirit said, “Trust in me always, knowing everything has been planned so there is no need to worry or obsess. Just accept and let go. DO NOT LET THE DOCTOR PUT FEAR INTO YOU. She will make it worse than it is so it is important for you to stay calm and not buy into it. Stay centered knowing I am with you and all is well.”

I wasn’t alarmed when the nurse called a few days later and” asked me to come in to see the doctor because I thought she would be treating me for anemia.

I kept remembering what Spirit had said to me before my appointment, “Stay calm and centered and don’t let the doctor put fear into you.”  As she looked over my blood/ labs tests, I could tell that it was more than anemia.

She said, “Your white blood cell count is higher than it should be and your platelets are very high. I recommend you see a hematologist /oncologist.” I was stunned and said, “Why would I see an oncologist and what are they looking for?” She said, “We want to rule out cancer.  We will call the oncologist and make a referral today.”

To say that I was in shock would be an understatement. Just hearing the word cancer and that they wanted to rule it out left me speechless. I left the office in a daze, wanting to break down and cry. I didn’t want to call Larry and tell him the news over the phone.

When I got to my car, I breathed deeply to calm myself down. I had to talk to someone so I called my daughter, Mary, to tell her the news. Thankfully, she calmed me down and didn’t allow me to escalate it. I don’t remember what she said, but I felt better and was able to center myself. Of course, when I shared the news with Larry, he was concerned, but very supportive and loving.  In prayer and meditation, here is what I affirmed for myself:

Iwill trust and delete worry and fear.

I will stay centered, calm, and peaceful.

I will accept what is.

I will have faith that all is well.

I will stay positive and see only perfect health for myself.

I will choose LOVE instead of fear.

Larry and I both felt strongly that Spirit was giving us the opportunity to choose LOVE instead of fear and we promised each other to choose LOVE when we felt afraid. When I prayed about it Spirit said, “You are choosing LOVE and when you choose LOVE, there is no fear. Fear is an illusion and fear and worry are a waste of energy. Your faith will carry you through. Ego will try to rob you of your peace so be aware of your thoughts and what comes up.”

Thankfully, I was able to get an appointment with the oncologist within a few days.  I knew in my heart that I didn’t have cancer.  Larry came with me for my appointment and we were both very peaceful and  and even laughed in the car when I didn’t know the doctor’s name. I knew the address and I had his telephone number.  Of course, when we arrived at the office, his name was on the board and there wasn’t a problem.

You can imagine the relief and joy we felt when the doctor looked at us and said, “You don’t have cancer.”  God is good! I may have an infection in my body that is causing inflammation around heart and platelets to be high, which doctor reassured me is treatable. I appreciate your prayers as I move through this health challenge. I see myself as healed, whole and healthy.

I share this with you to encourage you to choose LOVE instead of fear. It doesn’t have to be a health issue, but can be anything in your life that you are fearful about and robbing you of your peace.

Love is all there is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Moving to a higher level of consciousness

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Nov
13

I want to thank all of you for responding to my last blog and sharing your experiences and what’s going on in your life. Please know I hold you in my heart and prayers. I trust that what Spirit has revealed to me this week will benefit you and help you understand what you may be going through. It has helped me tremendously to move forward.  I am grateful that I was guided to surrender and trust Spirit when I had no idea what was going on.

My friend, Mary, who is a healer and author of “Divinely Touched” called me after reading my blog last week and said, “Pat, what’s going on?” I replied, “I don’t know.” She said, “You are definitely going through the Ascension Process. I had heard of the Ascension Process, but didn’t know what it meant. I was curious to learn about it in hopes I could make some sense of my recent experience of emotional upset and exhaustion.

What I have learned through my research is that Ascension is the process of a “spiritual awakening” that moves you into a higher level of consciousness. The more we grow spiritually, the more our energy increases, and the more we will understand how perfectly everything is orchestrated. The individual is becoming more heart centered, compassionate and creative, and is also opening to greater cosmic consciousness. We are all moving through a transformative process whether we are aware of it or not. It could be a health challenge, grief, relationship problems, emotional upset or loss of job.

During the ascension process changes are occurring on all levels of your being. The changes you will go through on your ascension path will not always be easy. Spiritual growth and ascension although incredibly positive, may have chaotic, uncomfortable, and challenging symptoms that appear on the path.. Your energy and your vibration state is higher. The more positive your energy is (high vibration), the more you will attract positive circumstances in your life.

Your system is rebooting, being ‘tuned up’ or upgraded. Old patterns begin to fall away as one starts to embody much more light. Things that no longer serve your highest and greatest good will crumble fall away and dissolve to make way for what will ultimately serve you in the highest possible vibration for your life. During this process, our consciousness rises, our vibration elevates, and we expand becoming increasingly more connected to each other until there is only the One unifying consciousness of All That Is.

Ascension and awakening are all part of the soul awakening and expanding from this little light that ignites within our heart. ALL are emerging to become ONE. Awakening is the process of remembering who we truly are. When we incarnated on Earth, we voluntarily contracted spiritual amnesia; however, humanity has collectively chosen to awaken from this dream. We must expand our conscious awareness to encompass a much wider reality. During this process, it’s not uncommon to experience awakening symptoms, commonly known as “ascension flu.”

The ascension process purges so much of the darker and denser energies from us that we find ourselves in them for quite some time. We may feel like things are simply never going to get better. And to add insult to injury, the outer world is no longer in alignment with the new, higher vibrating you. Our emotions are what carry the energy. When we are falling apart (and we are doing just that), we can get pretty emotional. When we are releasing, we can cry at the drop of a hat. We can cry when we feel relief or cry when we see any kind of suffering. These tears are a great cleanser and releaser.

As I think about and process the past 3 or 4 weeks and my experience, I knew deep down that something powerful energetically was happening but as I shared, I had no idea of what was going on.  I was willing to release and let go of everything from the past (including thoughts and beliefs) which no longer served me.  All I knew was that I needed to have faith and trust and surrender to the process, which I did. I look forward to new blessings in my life.

That was confirmed when I read one of the online articles. It said , “When you go with the flow, trust in the process of life, allow and surrender your ascension path to unfold and change you in every way according to Divine will, you will experience incredible soul growth and immense blessings on your ascension path and in your life. The fully ascended state is one of vibrant health, radiant joy, divine love, blissful serenity, peace, abundance, awareness, and oneness.

I hope this has helped you understand what you may be experiencing in your life. If you would like more information on the symptoms of the ascension and awakening process, google ascension and awakening process.

I say YES to it all.

 

The door was closed in our face

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Oct
10

I felt excited when I opened my email early in the morning that read, “Please call me asap.” It was from Dina, the travel agent from the Norwegian Cruise Line. I had spoken to her a few times over the past few months and she knew that we wanted to take another Hawaiian island cruise for our honeymoon. When we went on the cruise for my birthday last year, they gave a considerable discount to Hawaii residents. What we loved about the Hawaiian cruise is that we didn’t have to travel far to get on the ship.

Up until now, they hadn’t offered this discount. It was on that cruise that Larry decided (with the prompting from Spirit) to surprise me and ask me to marry him.

Just the day before receiving this email, I was talking with my friends, Kati and Sally, about the importance of living life to the fullest and not wasting precious time. I said, “I really want to go on another cruise.” There is just something about being on the ocean that feeds my soul. I hadn’t heard from Dina in quite some time.

I called Dina immediately when I read her email. She said, “Pat, are you interested in a 7 day Hawaiian cruise for $599 on October 7-14th? There are only 8 rooms left so you will have to act fast if you want it.” I could hardly get the words out of my mouth, I was so excited and said, “That sounds amazing, can you hold it until I talk to my husband?” She said, “Yes, but don’t take too long, this will go fast.”

I wanted to jump on it and after going within and discussing it with Larry, we were both on board with it. How perfect because we would celebrate my birthday and our honeymoon. I called Dina back within 15 minutes and much to my dismay, she said “The price has already gone up to $899 per person.” She tried everything to get the price back again, but couldn’t, even though she had put a hold on it.

When Larry and I discussed the new price, we decided to wait for another great deal.  Of course, I felt disappointed because I thought this was surely an answer to prayer and I was ready for our second cruise.  I immediately remembered the concept of “open and closed doors” that has been a vital part of  my spiritual journey for many years.  It has been my experience that guidance comes through open and closed doors.

It helps me to let go and surrender to “what is” when I trust that the door has been closed for a reason that only Spirit knows why and it is for my highest good. There have been many times that the door was closed because it wasn’t the right timing and opened at the perfect and right time. It was “in the hallway” that I learned to trust and let go.

I thought I had let it go because I didn’t think about it during the day. However, before I went to bed that night, I decided to go online and see if I could find the $599 deal again, but no luck. While I was on the website, I saw some other cruise deals that might work for us. My juices were flowing!

I called Dina in the morning to check out some other cruises that required traveling to San Francisco to get on the ship. She really felt bad about the new price and said, “I went home last night and looked again. Don’t worry Pat, I will keep looking.”  I laughed and said, “Dina, I am a woman of faith and if it is meant to be, it will be.”

Rather than “allowing” and letting things come to me, I could feel myself pushing, obsessing and trying to make things happen. As I am learning to honor the Love that I am, I don’t push, seek or strive, for these are the old ways of doing things.

The new way is about allowing and accepting “what is” and trusting that all is in divine order. It is about being in the flow without attachment to anything; just allowing things to unfold naturally. This is self-care and self-loving.

I have read that when I love myself, I keep my vibration high and from that, my consciousness expands and from my higher consciousness, my life shifts to peace, ease and grace and miracles happen.

I knew I wasn’t “letting go” because I had lost my peace. I asked Spirit, “Why is it so hard to let go?” Here is what was revealed to me:

  • I am not trusting Spirit that the closed door was for my higher good
  • I think I know what’s best for me
  • I want what I want – NOW
  • I’m impatient
  • I think I have to do it myself and control it
  • I have to make things happen, rather than” allowing” it to happen
  • I don’t want to be HERE right now, I want to be somewhere else

When I realized that I hadn’t let go and was obsessing about going on a cruise, I asked Spirit for help.  When I truly let go, I feel peaceful.  In this moment, I am peaceful because I am choosing to let go and trust in the divine plan for my life.

Although waiting is not my favorite thing to do, I surrender and trust that my Higher Power has a better plan and another door will open at the perfect and right time. I will wait patiently to see what it is.

How about you, is it hard to trust when the door is closed and you have to wait?

 

 

 

 

 

I judged Larry and felt terrible

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Oct
3

My aerobics teacher, Trixi, looked at me in class and said, “Pat is amazing and so are all of you.”  What a nice reminder, but I thought to myself, “What would she say if she knew what I had just struggled with before coming to class?”

I wrote in my journal prior to class, “Can I or will I ever get to the point where I don’t judge others and  am not affected by their behaviors?” I am divine and human and have feelings and opinions so perhaps it’s unrealistic to think I will never judge another person’s behaviors. I do believe that the more conscious I become and the more I love myself, the less judgmental I will be of others.

It is my problem when another person’s behavior disturbs me, whether it’s what they do or don’t do, or what they say or don’t say. Who am I to judge another when I have no idea what the person is suffering or going through.  When someone is rude to me or acts inappropriately in my perspective, instead of shooting off my mouth and lashing out, I want my default to be to SEND THEM LOVE rather than judging them. I am not there yet, but it is where I am striving to be!

When I judge others or my buttons are pushed, I may be projecting my feelings onto them, rather than looking at myself and what’s going on inside of me. I may be accusing another of the very things I have disowned or rejected in myself.  I have learned that when I “spot” something I don’t like in another person, I “got” it and it may very well be a call for SELF-LOVE.

Author Gay Hendricks, writes, “When I don’t or can’t acknowledge my feelings or accept something about myself, it is a sign that deep down, I don’t love myself. You will always find something to complain about, and the people in your life will always seem to be less than perfect, because you think you are less than perfect. Unless you can learn to love yourself, and accept yourself and your feelings, you will never be able to be fully loved by anyone else. 

Hendricks also writes, “Intimate relationships are like temperature gauges for self-love. When you are by yourself, you don’t encounter the typical triggers that would indicate a lack of self-love. But a relationship will stir up our deepest needs and fears. When you possess a full reservoir, you do not require your partner to “fill you up.” If your partner is having a bad day or you have a disagreement, you are able to give yourself the love your partner is unwilling or unable to share at that time.”

I could relate to what Hendricks wrote about relationships are like temperature gauges for self-love. Here is what happened this week:

I judged Larry when he woke up in the morning complaining of stomach cramps. I didn’t say it, but wanted to say, “It’s your own fault, look what you are putting into your body every day. You are eating too many sweets, that is why you have cramps and feel terrible.”

When I realized I was judging Larry, I really felt bad. I prayed and asked Spirit to show me the truth. I didn’t want to admit and acknowledge that I had recently been eating more sweets and instead of looking at what I was doing, I had projected my feelings onto him. Even though it doesn’t feel very good to admit this, I am grateful that Spirit brought this to the light so I can do something about it.

I may not like Larry’s diet, but the truth is what Larry does or doesn’t do, what he eats or doesn’t eat is none of my business. I cannot change anyone but myself.  I am being given an opportunity to love and accept myself. Here is the message from Holy Spirit:

“Don’t beat up on yourself. Learn from it. Love yourself and love your body.  Eat good food as a way of self-care. I will help you when you ask for my help.”

I did ask for help and am pleased to say that the last several days, I have had little cravings for sweets. I had been so busy concentrating on my daily exercise and water intake, that I wasn’t paying attention to what I was eating.

I received this message from a friend today from Science of Mind magazine. “There is an internal help system that I can choose to rely on. When I call out for help, it is my innermost guidance system. In that moment of sweet surrender, HELP stands for Hello Eternal Loving Presence.  

How about you? Is judging another’s behavior a problem for you?  Is judging yourself an indication that more self-love is needed?

As women, we OVER-GIVE

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Sep
19

I thought my receiving “muscle” was strong so I was surprised when Larry asked me, “What do you want for your birthday?” I said, “I don’t know. I have everything I could possibly want and don’t need anything.”

He said, “How about I take you to dinner at Humuhumunukunukuapua’a at the Grand Waleia Hotel? It has just been named the best restaurant on Maui.” I had never been there before and I knew it was a very expensive restaurant. I didn’t respond right away and decided to pray about it because I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t want Larry spending that kind of money on dinner. When I prayed about it the next day, I said, “Spirit, I need guidance because spending that kind of money seems frivolous to me.”

“What is your message Holy Spirit?”

You have difficulty receiving something like this because you are accustomed to bargain shopping and feeling like you got a deal. I want you to open yourself up to receive because there is more to come. This is in preparation to receive more.  It is ok to say yes if this is what Larry wants to do for you and what you want to do for your birthday. He wants you to know how special you are and how much he loves you. 

“But Spirit, I would rather go out to dinner three times than spend it in one place.”

“That’s because you don’t believe there will be enough so you have to save it for a rainy day. That is an old belief that doesn’t serve you anymore. There is more than enough.  Allow him to give you this gift and be open to receive.” 

“I feel guilty God because I could give that money to someone who really needs it. What is that about?”

“It is an old belief that you don’t deserve to be treated in this special way. This no longer serves you and, in fact, blocks what I am doing in your life.  It is good for you to celebrate your birthday in a fine dining restaurant. There is more to come and you must be open to receive. Remember this is my money.” 

I understand there is no right or wrong way of doing what I want to do. If I want to go to 3 different restaurants and be thrifty instead of spending it all in one place, that is ok too. I am grateful Spirit brought to light the old beliefs about money (lack, not enough, not deserving) that no longer serve me. I am now open to RECEIVE only good and the riches of the kingdom, which is my birthright. I haven’t made up my mind yet what I want to do, but I know whatever it is, it will be a great birthday. The most important thing is to know that I am loved and cherished by my husband. 

In the book “One with God” the author, Margie Tyler writes, “Every day is an opportunity to RECEIVE something new. You are experiencing this expansion and are now willing to acknowledge that love exists in you and as you. OPENING ONESELF TO RECEIVE LOVE IS THE BIGGEST TASK IN LIFE. Once you’re open, the world expands exponentially and the love becomes all-inclusive. Everyone and everything is joined in that love.”

Do we deprive others of the joy of giving to us when we are unable to receive? When we are unable to receive, we block others from giving us love.

I believe that the more I love and appreciate myself, the more I can RECEIVE love from another. We are not CAPABLE of receiving love from another if we haven’t learned to love ourselves. Sure, I have experienced love from another when I didn’t love myself, but it was never enough. It wasn’t until I gave myself self-love that I was capable of RECEIVING the deep love I craved from another.  It all begins and ends with me as I awaken and come home to myself in my body, mind and spirit.

As women, we know how to give. We know how to over-give. But we have no idea how to RECEIVE. We have a serious crimp in our receiving hose.  In the past, when my ego was running the show, I unconsciously blocked love from coming in because of not feeling deserving or worthy. I believe that the more I open myself to RECEIVE love, the more I can give LOVE.

MY HEART OPENS TO ALLOW MY DEEPEST GOOD – Julia Cameron, author of Artists Way

“Acceptance, openness, allowing are the keys to manifestation. I do not need to will my good. I need to accept my good. I do not need to will my being loved. I need only accept my being loved. I open my heart to accept and allow the good which I desire. I am in God and God is in me. As I yearn for God, I yearn for my own true nature. As I ask God to fulfill me, I ask that I fulfill myself. There is no distance, no need to please or cajole, whimper or manipulate. It is the pleasure of the entire Universe to expand as it desires. My desires are the desires of the Universe. They are fulfilled by the Universe acting through me, toward me.”

 

 

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Pat Hastings

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