This workshop is for anyone who has experienced a painful break-up or divorce, whether recent or long ago. You may be asking yourself, “Why do I always sabotage my relationships or why do I always pick the wrong person.” Many women are afraid they will never have a healthy relationship again. Pat has helped hundreds of women learn to love themselves and find healthy and lasting relationships.
Join Pat Hastings, Spiritual Life Coach in this interactive workshop where you will have the opportunity to:
- Write out your history of relationships in the past
- Review patterns in your past relationships so that you don’t attract the same kind of relationship
- Learn how to love yourself and become your own best friend
- Explore limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in unhealthy relationships
- Learn how to forgive yourself and set yourself free
November 14, 2010 1-5PM
WHERE: Private home in Narragansett, RI
I have been searching for inner peace for all of my life and for many years in all the wrong places! I looked outside of myself to people, places and things for peace, but it didn’t work, and I found that nothing would fill the hole in my soul, no matter how hard I tried. I suspect I am not alone in this and that the same may be true for you. Did you hope that the perfect relationship, career, house, financial security, car would bring you the peace you so desire? Of course, there is nothing wrong with any of the above and we all want love, abundance, good relationships and fulfilling careers. This is our spiritual birthright.
The peace I’m talking about is the “Peace That Passes All Understanding.” It’s the peace that comes from within. It is the peace that the world cannot take away. It is peace in your mind and in your heart that allows you to be at peace with yourself, and at peace with others. You are peaceful because you have a deep “inner knowing” that all will turn out for the good of all concerned and you feel safe. It is trusting in a Power greater than yourself that loves and cares about you.
You will be at peace when you choose to be at peace, no matter what is going on in the world around you, so make your daily intention to be peaceful. Every morning my daily ritual is to get on my knees, say the serenity prayer and pray my intention to be peaceful, loving and to be of service.
Peace is an inside job and I believe that connecting with your Source, whether you call that God, Universe, Buddha, Love, Spirit, Intelligence, Higher Power is the answer and the way to inner peace. So, what does it mean to “go within?” It means spending time with yourself, meditating, discovering what you like and don’t like, what you are passionate about and what your dreams are. It’s discovering who you really are on the inside, which is a magnificent spiritual being that is loved and cherished just as you are.
What do you think keeps you from going inside? Is it fear? Are you afraid of what you will find on the inside that you may not like? You may encounter feelings of shame, guilt, self-hatred, abandonment, rejection, low self esteem or depression, and one of the ways women avoid and deny what’s inside, is through drinking, drugging or eating sugar. The other way is through addictive behaviors such as people pleasing, approval seeking, perfectionism, control, workaholism, gambling, internet, excessive TV, shopping, not good enoughism, rushing and staying busy. All of these addictive behaviors medicate and numb the awareness of your feelings.
If you want to have inner peace, you need to take time to listen to your feelings and not dismiss or avoid them. It takes courage to be yourself, to feel and express your feelings. Feelings are the gateway to who you are. They are there to help you know yourself and know what you need to do next. They give you clues if something is wrong, to help you protect yourself and keep yourself safe. They are part of the human condition and we all have them. Feelings are a gift from the Universe.
Over the years of practicing going within and having a daily spiritual discipline, I have learned to slow down, honor myself and rest when I need to. I allow things to happen organically and I trust my inner guidance, intuition and wisdom. I have learned to receive my answers through prayer and meditation and by connecting to the Divine guidance within. Creating a peaceful life is of great importance to me and I do whatever I need to do to maintain that peace. Learning to live peacefully has been a process that I practice every day. If I do get caught up in the drama of my own or someone else’s experiences and lose my sense of inner peace, I re-connect with Spirit through prayer and meditation.
What are you expecting in your life today? Are you expecting only good to come to you like joy, happiness, love, peace, ease and grace? Or are you expecting more stress, problems, difficulties, not enough time to do what you really want, not enough money to pay the bills or more of the same? We often believe if a situation has always been like that, it will never change – so we expect the same day after day. For example, If you have a teenager who is rebelliousness and obnoxious, are you expecting more of the same? What would happen if you changed your thinking and visualized your teenager acting respectfully? It’s certainly worth a try. It won’t happen overnight, but if you consistently see in your mind’s eye the behavior changing, it will change. Or when you think about asking for a raise, do you automatically think the worst that you will never get a raise? We set ourselves up for failure before we even get started.
Before you can change your thinking, you need to know what you are thinking. Often, our minds are like blenders and our thoughts swirl around out of control-with no filter. You may obsess, worry or imagine the worst possible scenario happening. This pattern of obsessing, worrying and expecting the worst has probably been there since childhood. It’s a learned behavior. So, if it is a learned behavior, you can unlearn it and learn a new way of thinking and being. It takes discipline and perseverance to monitor your thinking and change limiting negative thinking. I liken it to being like a detective of my mind. If I want peace and happiness, I need to be aware of what I am thinking.
I was recently scheduled to do a workshop in the community and I caught myself saying “it’s probably going to be cancelled because there won’t be enough people signed up.” When I caught myself, I quickly changed it to “the workshop will be well attended and it will be a powerful experience for all who attend.” What I expect, I get.
Several years ago, I experienced the power of changing my thinking. My son and his family moved to Florida and I was really feeling sad and missing them. Christmas was coming up and I expected that I would have a really difficult time since this was the first year that we weren’t all together. Thankfully, I caught it and changed my thinking about the situation. I kept visualizing and saying to myself, it will be a peaceful Christmas. And guess what, it was one of the most peaceful Christmases I’ve had in a long time. I am sure that if I hadn’t changed my thinking and continued to expect that it would be difficult, it would have been. Did I miss them? Of course I did, but it didn’t devastate me like it would have if I hadn’t changed my thinking.
You have the Power within to attract only good to yourself. Think about only good and God in your life. Expect the best and know that the best is yet to come. Remember, what we think about, we bring about. Happy Thinking.
Affirmation: My day unfolds in peace, ease and grace.
Spirituality is the life of the spirit and an awareness of a Presence sometimes alone in stillness and sometimes with others. It is a “connectedness” with self, others and a Power greater than yourself that enables you to feel peace and know that “all is well.” That Power may be referred to as Higher Power, God, Spirit, Source, Love, Soul, Buddha, Universe – whatever is comfortable for you, it doesn’t matter what you call it. What is important is that you make a conscious decision to connect with the Spirit within on a daily basis.
To be spiritual means, you connect with the Power or Source within and live a life of integrity, love, purpose, service, honesty and faith. Becoming “more spiritual” is the act of increasing your awareness about who you really are at your deepest level, with the intention of connecting with your true authentic self. Many are searching for purpose in their lives and want to have a deeper understanding of their inner-selves and spiritual selves. In short they want to tap into their spiritual core.
It’s important to understand Spirituality is not religion. Many people have been turned off by organized religion and think Spirituality is religion. You can be religious and not spiritual and spiritual and not religious. Many folks have left their childhood religion and are seeking spirituality. They want more than rules and dogma. Some have been able to find a place to worship and practice their religion and spirituality together. But you don’t have to belong to a church to practice your spirituality.
All problems are spiritual problems in the sense that they arise when you feel disconnected from the Source of your being. As a result of this disconnect, you experience confusion, sadness, fear, anger and disharmony. Spirituality supports a movement from an experience of disconnect to one of deep connection, peace, happiness, peace, love, joy, fullness, abundance, and self-actualization.
When something is missing in your life and you’re not sure what it is, everything else seems less complete. I have heard it described as a “hole in the soul.” No one seems to understand what you’re going through. You feel stuck and you don’t know why or how to get unstuck. You may feel tired all the time and you’re in a constant state of overwhelm and anxiety. There could be many reasons for having these feelings. Maybe deep down you feel that you’re not good enough or undeserving of true happiness and fulfillment. You may not be living your life purpose or know what it is.
Maybe you feel like you have to work non-stop to reap any kind of rewards in life, and in the meantime you watch your kids growing up without appreciating the precious stages of their lives. And while you may know (or not know) what your special God given gifts are, you’re not using them to their fullest potential, which is even more frustrating.
Your life will change as you connect to your spiritual self and the Power within. You will experience divine guidance, synchronicity and being in the flow. You will learn to call on the Power to overcome adversity, meet life’s challenges and live from a place of purpose and passion. Your relationships will improve and you will experience more love, joy and peace. I believe we are all on a spiritual path of enlightenment and uncovering and discovering the Good inside of us. We are spiritual beings having a spiritual experience.
After much consideration, I decided that I would approach this differently. I had recently made the decision to have my piano tuned. It had been moved out of our house during renovations and back in after the completion. It needed a tuning before I could resume my music studies. I was unable to locate the piano tuner that I used in the past, and was attempting to make connections with a tuner that was recommended by the local music store to no avail. We were playing phone tag trying to find a time that would fit both schedules. This turned into weeks of missing each other. I finally reached a point of asking myself “what is it that I really want”? And my answer came “I wanted the piano tuner that had previously done the tuning.” The problem was I didn’t even remember his name. So, I put a request out, “Universe please help me find this man.” I then let it go. Two weeks later Richard called and began his conversation with “hello my name is Richard and I tuned your piano in the past.” I answered, “I have been waiting for your call.”
The second part of this story involves my piano teacher. My previous teacher was no longer teaching. Furthermore, I wanted to work with someone who taught not only technique, but also music theory. After searching the Internet, I found a teacher who lived two blocks from my home. I called the music studio and spoke with his wife. After explaining what I was interested in, she assured me that her husband would get back to me. A week passed and I did not hear from him. I then quickly made a decision to once again make a request, “Universe please bring the right teacher my way.” A few days later, I was speaking with a dear friend and in passing I said, “Do you know of any good piano teachers?” She did know of one and gave me his name and number.
My new teacher is a perfect fit. His method of teaching is everything I was looking for and more. Additionally, at my first visit, I noticed that he was using a Mac computer. “Oh”, I said, “a fellow Mac user.” He got all excited, “do you know Macs?” “Yes, it’s the type of computer I use when teaching my students.” His next question floored me, “would you like to exchange piano lessons for computer lessons?” So now, I have a perfectly tuned piano, the perfect music teacher, an opportunity to do what I love in exchange for lessons and a grateful heart. All is in perfect alignment and I am blessed.
It’s been my dream to vacation in Hawaii for several years. Two years ago, I placed a beautiful picture of a sea turtle swimming in Maui, Hawaii in my intention book. I pray with it daily and visualize my dreams manifesting.
My trip to visit my brother in New Jersey last month was delightful and relaxing, until I arrived at the airport for my return flight. “Why can’t I check in at the kiosk?”, I wondered. When I finally reached the desk, she politely said “Miss, you are a day early; your flight is tomorrow morning.” “Well, can I get a flight out today and what will it cost?” I asked. I gulped when she informed me it would cost $170. That was more than what I paid for the whole flight. She could see my dilemma and informed me that she heard Southwest had cheaper flights. So off I went to Southwest. Yes, I could get a fight out that day and it was $30 cheaper.
I kept thanking God, trusting that all would turn out for the good. I didn’t beat up on myself, which would have been so easy to do. While walking through the airport, a very nice young man caught my attention. He invited me to sign up for a Southwest credit card. I normally wouldn’t be bothered, but the deal was a free flight anywhere in the US. As I completed the application and walked away, I said to myself “this is for my flight to Hawaii.”
I was invited to speak at a local church on faith a few weeks later. Ellen approached me after the talk with a big smile on her face. She said “I loved your talk and I am also stepping out in faith.” “Oh, what are you doing?” I asked. “I am going back to live in Hawaii.” My eyes lit up and I said, “it’s been my dream to vacation in Hawaii someday.” She smiled and said, “You can stay with me.” I could hardly speak. She then whipped out a postcard from her pocketbook of the condo she owned – overlooking the ocean in Maui, Hawaii! Not only did she invite me to stay with her, but she said I could stay as long as I wanted- and could use her car! I have a beautiful place to stay, a new friend and a free round trip ticket to Hawaii. Whooo….it doesn’t get better than that.
I will be vacationing in Maui, Hawaii for Thanksgiving. More than a vacation, it will be a time for me to retreat with my God and enjoy the beauty around me. I am so grateful for God’s love and the many blessings God has bestowed on me. God is faithful when we believe, ask and trust in the perfect and divine timing for our dreams to manifest. I believe that everything happens for a reason for my highest good and the good of others. Dreams do come true when we believe.
You are both powerLESS and PowerFUL. The process of powerlessness is the process of surrender. You are surrendering your ego mind to a power greater than yourself – whether you call that God, Universe, Higher Power, Nature, Buddha or Spirit. God’s will for you is simply to live in harmony with Spiritual Principles and live life on life’s terms. When you turn your will over to the God of your understanding, you become powerFUL. You know who you are as a child of God and know what your purpose in life is.
What are you powerLESS over? You are powerless over people places and things. Problems arise in your life when you try to control your loved ones and think you know what is best for them. You are responsible for yourself, your actions, feelings and behaviors.
We often give our power away and don’t even know it. Before we can change, we need to know how we give our power away. Below is a list of common behaviors, feeling and attitudes indicating that you may be giving your power away.
- People Pleasing – need to be liked. Put others first at the expense of yourself
- Stay busy with activity and work to avoid feeling and going inside
- Addictions: alcohol, drugs, gambling, workaholism, religiosity, shopping, cleaning, internet, relationships
- Look outside for answers and validation. Want others to tell you that you are ok
- Focus is on fixing others, making others happy and then feeling resentful when your needs are not met. Comparing yourself to others – feeling less than or better than
- Unrealistic Expectations of yourself and others
- Beat up on yourself with negative self-talk
- Difficulty saying no without feeling guilty
- Difficulty setting boundaries
- Being nice
- Don’t know what you want or feel – know what others want and feel
- Expecting others to know your needs and be mind readers
- Perfectionist – demanding a great deal of others and yourself
- Need to Control others and situations
- Neglect your own needs – physically, emotionally, spiritually
- Low Self Esteem
- Difficulty forming and staying in relationships
- Feelings of sadness, depression, lonely, angry and sadness
- Sarcasm as a way of communication
- Passive aggressive, passive or aggressive behaviors
- Rigidity in behaviors and attitudes
- Black and white thinking
- Difficulty having fun, take self and life too serious
- Feel undeserving, unworthy
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Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host
Simply A Woman of Faith
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