I experienced a miracle today that I would like to share with you. Today is the 6th anniversary of my daughter-in-law Suzie’s death. When I woke up in the morning, I asked that I would experience Suzie’s presence today. I had an appointment for a massage with my friend, Marise, the day before, but she had to cancel and reschedule for today. We set up the massage table (which I just bought that morning) on my lanai in front of my house. It was a peaceful setting with the beautiful flowers and the birds singing their song. I felt so relaxed and felt like I was in heaven when she finished the massage. When I opened my eyes she told me about the butterfly that “showed up.” I asked Marise to write her experience.
“As the session was winding down and I was closing the etheric energy fields around Pat’s body. I heard a voice (this is not entirely unusual), however, I had not heard such a voice so clear before and it came in the image of the Blessed Mary, this was unusual for me. She said, “place your left hand on Pat’s soul spot and cub your right hand over the crown.” I did exactly as I was instructed. While holding those two positions, I felt the Divine flooding through the space, and then something caught my eye. I looked up at the green bushes above Pat’s head and there was an orange butterfly, fluttering its wings like a happy song, it flew around the top of the table and then circled Pat’s head. I instinctively wanted to hold the butterfly and show Pat on her awakening, however, it flew back to the bush and disappeared. After a deep breath of gratitude for the moment, I then shared it with Pat. Later when I was at home, I was struck by the memory of the amount of light that had streamed from Pat’s eyes.”
Of course, Marise had no idea that today was Suzie’s anniversary and that I had asked to feel her presence. The tears poured out of me because I knew I had a visitation from Suzie. This was not the first time she has “showed up” for me.
In January 2008, my daughter- in- law Suzie was dying of brain cancer. She was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer in September 2006. I remember the phone call as if it were yesterday. Time stood still as my emotions swirled around in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to be reassuring, but words wouldn’t come out of my mouth at first. I took a deep breath and said, “Suzie, everything is going to be alright.” When I hung up the phone, I dropped to the floor and sobbed. “God, how could this be happening, she is only 35 years old.” Fear enveloped me and I couldn’t move. I don’t know how long I stayed there, but it seemed like forever.
Family and close friends surrounded her bed, offering prayers and words of comfort hours before she passed away. Suzie was in and out of consciousness for several hours and often opened her eyes and said, “I love you.” You could see the anguish and pain on her face as she struggled to let go. After she passed away, we sobbed and held one another tightly. We would no longer see her smile and laugh with her. Although my heart was broken, it brought me solace to see the peace on Suzie’s face. She looked like an angel. I’m grateful Suzie allowed me to be part of this sacred experience of death and new life. I believe her spirit is with God as she continues to live on.
The next morning after praying and meditating, I asked God for strength and the grace to be there for my son and grandchildren. I allowed myself to feel my feelings rather than run from them. I sobbed uncontrollably as the feelings of sadness, disappointment and anger pierced my heart and soul. I randomly chose an “Angel card.” I picked the Angel of Transformation. There stood a magnificent Angel holding a butterfly in her hand. Suzie’s symbol was the butterfly.
A half hour after my prayer, Suzie graced me with her presence and love. As I walked outside and stood on the balcony with the sun shining brightly on my face, suddenly a butterfly came from out of nowhere and encircled my head for a few minutes. I couldn’t move as my heart pounded deep within my chest.
There is a legend that the first butterfly you see after a loved one dies is their spirit coming to you to let you know they are safe. Whenever I see a butterfly, I sense Suzie’s presence around me. Here it is 6 years later and on the anniversary of her death, she comes again to greet me and let me know she is safe.
Thank you Suzie for “showing up” for me again today in the form of the butterfly.
The next day as I was cleaning out my closet, I found a book of inspirational poems and sayings that Suzie had lovingly made for me the year before she died. It was such a delight to read them and ponder their meanings. There was a picture in the book of Suzie and my 2 grandchildren taken right before she died. I held the picture to my heart as the tears flowed down my cheeks.
I rarely go on Facebook, but for some reason that night, I clicked it on. As I was scrolling down to see all the updates, I spotted the same picture of Suzie and my grandsons that I found that morning in the book. The picture was put on there by her sister. What are the odds of that happening?
We are all spiritual beings and all connected to the one Source. I would love for you to share with me how your loved ones who have passed over to the other side have reappeared and made their presence known to you.
Mother Maui welcomed me with open arms. After experiencing the “cold snap” in Rhode Island, the warm sunshine felt so good on my face and I couldn’t wait to take my shoes off and walk the beach.
I jumped back into my life head first as I prepared for the workshop, “Radical Abundance: Creating the Life You Want.” It was held at Kaunoa Senior Center in Maui. What a wonderful group of women showed up – the oldest at the ripe age of 97. Her name was Pat and what an amazing spirit and attitude she had. I want to be like her when I grow up. She danced and shared her light with all of us.
I am continually amazed what happens “when I get out of the way” and let Spirit have its way. Of course, I planned a schedule for the day, but I am always open to listen to Spirit when a change is needed. While in prayer and meditation the morning of the workshop, I sensed God wanted me to do the forgiveness meditation and exercise that I had done in other workshops. This was not a part of “MY PLAN” but I listened and put it into the schedule for the day. As I reflect on the day and the comments from the women after the workshop, this was the most powerful part of the day.
When the forgiveness exercise was completed, I wanted to play a song called, “Be Gentle with Myself” but couldn’t get the tape recorder to get to that song (number 5) so I just started with the first song. When the exercise was over, we all stood in a circle holding hands and lo and behold, “Be Gentle with Myself” started playing. I couldn’t have planned it better. What a lesson in trusting and letting go of my plans. The workshop was a great success and I have another one scheduled in a few months.
I love to see what happens when I listen to the voice of Spirit and not question the “WHY” I am led to do something. A couple of days before I traveled to Rhode Island I went to my bank to withdraw some money. The tellers at the back are so friendly and always comment on the jewelry I am wearing. This one particular day, I got into a conversation with Diane and she told me she worked with the youth in her church. I was led to tell her about my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” She said, I would love to read it.” I told her I had a book in the car and wanted to know if she wanted to buy one. She said, “I will have to pray about it.” I said, “Okay.” As I walked to my car, I heard God say, “Give her your book as a gift.” I grabbed a book from the car and walked back into the bank to give her the book. I said, “God wants you to have the book as a gift.” She was so touched and thanked me profusely.
A few days ago, I went back to my bank to deposit some checks. When I walked in, Diane got so excited and said, “I knew you would be back. I wanted to call you, but I decided to wait because you were going to the mainland. I loved your book and have told everybody about you and your book. In fact, my minister wants to meet you. When I finished your book, I gave the book to Juanita, the teller next to me and she loved it too and is going to send it to her son. She was so touched because her mother died a few years ago and her mother’s name was also “Honey.” Juanita was off that day.
I shared in last week’s blog how my mother “showed up” for me on New Year’s Day when I received the “HONEY” packets from Starbucks. I heard God say, “I want you to go to the bank and give one of the “HONEY” packets to Juanita tomorrow. I didn’t question it and said, “Okay God, I will do that.”
When I walked into the bank, Juanita spotted me immediately and quickly came from behind the counter to greet me and give me a big hug. She had tears in her eyes and said, “I loved your book and am sending it to my son to read. I have to tell you what happened because you are not going to believe this. I started to read your book immediately when Diane gave it to me at the bank. On my lunch hour that same day, I went to the Salvation Army to browse around. I went to the book section and there staring me in the face was a brand new copy of your book for one dollar.” My jaw dropped open and I had “chicken skin” as they call it in Maui. What are the odds of her finding my book at that perfect and right time when she needed it? I call it a “Godincidence.”
After she told me the story, I smiled and said, “I have a gift for you from God.” Now her jaw dropped open as the tears flowed down her cheeks when I handed her the HONEY packet. She was visibly shaken up and touched by the gesture. As I left she said, “You made my day and I feel so lifted up. I know my mother came to me today.”
I have learned to listen to that “small still voice of God” within or intuition. Whatever you may call it, it doesn’t matter, what is important is that you trust it and follow the guidance. It does take practice and a willingness to get out of your comfort zone and letting go of worrying what others will think of you.
It is such a joy to experience daily miracles and see what unfolds when I step out in faith and let go of my plans. I guess that is why I am called, “Simply a Woman of Faith.”
For many years, it has been my belief that God guides us through open and closed doors. When I don’t know what’s best for me, I pray that God open or close the door. It always works- even though I may not like it at first!
I wasn’t expecting God to close the door in my face on Monday as I prepared to travel back home to Maui. I was all dressed and packed at 6 a.m. when I received a phone call from my friend, Ruth, who was already at the airport traveling to Maui. She said, “Pat, do you know the airport is closed due to weather conditions? I was able to get a flight out tomorrow.” I quickly opened my email and sure enough, my flight had been cancelled and was rescheduled for 5 days later. I thought I was seeing things because I had never heard of rescheduling a flight for 5 days later. I tried to call the airlines, but there were so many cancellations they weren’t answering the phones.
Everything that I have been teaching and practicing “kicked in” and I immediately went inside, surrendered to “what is” and prayed, “Okay, God, what do you want me to do?” I knew I had a choice. I could complain and moan or I could trust and thank God that I attracted this into my life for my highest good and there was a reason for the closed door. I chose to be grateful and trusted good would come from the closed door.
I called my best friend, Carole, and asked if I could stay at her house for a few days. She immediately said, “Yes.” I called another friend, Glenn, and left a message asking if he could drive me to Carole’s house that morning because I didn’t have a car. He called me back and said, “Yes, I have time this morning and I would be happy to drive you to Carole’s. What is interesting, Pat, is that last week when I looked at my schedule 3 or 4 times for the coming week, I knew I had this morning free and didn’t schedule anything in it.”
Glen picked me up a short time later and off we went to Carole’s house. On the way to Carole’s house, Glen asked if I would like to see his new home. Of course, I said, “Yes.” His beautiful honey colored cat greeted us at the door. I didn’t think much of it until he called her by name. Her name was “Honey.” My mother’s name was “Honey.”
My mother died on January 1st 48 years ago. There is a chapter in my book about my mother and how she “shows up” for me when I most need to feel her presence. Glenn looked at me, as the tears flowed down my cheeks, and we both knew “Honey” was “showing up” through his beautiful cat. My mother loved cats.
On New Year’s Day, I said to my daughter, Mary, “I wonder how my mother will “show up” for me today. A few hours later, I met my friend, Amy, at Starbucks and I ordered us both something to drink. As I was leaving the counter, the clerk handed me a small package of “Honey.” I gasped because I knew my mother was “showing up” for me. When we are open to signs from our loved ones who have passed on, they will show up.
Even though the weather outside was 1 degree when I arrived at Carole’s house, the warmth and love I received from Carole and her family was exactly what I needed. I was treated like a queen, my bath was drawn for me in the evening and coffee was served to me each morning as I prayed and meditated. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was because of all that I had processed the past 2 weeks and how I needed to rest and do nothing. Carole lives on a beautiful lake and just sitting and looking out the window every morning brought me deep peace. We get what we need, even when we don’t know we need it!
I had sent an email to the women who attended my retreat about my cancelled flight. Several of the women contacted me inviting me to stay with them. Since I didn’t have a car to get around, one of the women even offered to be my chauffer for the week. Again, I felt such love. My friend, Carrie Ann invited me to stay at her home a couple of days and then drive me to the airport at 5 a.m. on Saturday. Now that is love.
As I shared in the beginning, I knew in my spirit that there was a reason why my flight was cancelled for 5 days. I found out WHY the day before I was scheduled to leave when I ran into an old friend that I hadn’t seen in years. She opened up to me that she was at her lowest point and hadn’t shared her pain with anyone. She was feeling alone and quite distraught. I was able to listen and love her right where she was. I told her about my flight cancellation and that I knew the reason for it was that I could be there for her. It’s all good and it’s all God.
I thank God for all the love and healing I received while in Rhode Island. As I open my heart to receive, I am able to give more to others. Mother Maui welcomed me home with open arms. My friend, Karen, who stayed in my Ohana while I was in Rhode Island greeted me at the airport with a beautiful Lei and chicken soup and salad.
I am Open and Available to Receive my Good – Daily Word, January 10
An accident, a distressing diagnosis, a job loss (plane cancellation) – these are situations many of us would deem unfortunate or even disastrous. Yet, if we stay open and available to a good outcome, we find great blessings ready and waiting for us to receive. Today I am willing to see new possibilities unfold from seeming difficulty. In acceptance on my humanity, I allow myself to grieve any loss as I clear inner space to receive my good. I am restored as I open to God’s abundance. Life invites me to grow, and I am open and available to the manifestation of God’s abundant blessings at all times. As life unfolds, I look for the good in every experience.
The sun is shining brightly after the “Perfect Storm” when I returned to Rhode Island a couple of weeks ago. I shared last week in my blog that I felt like I was in a dark tunnel and needed to allow myself the space and time to feel my feelings and heal. I knew I would move through the darkness and into the light. I am happy to say that my light is shining brightly today and I have been transformed.
It is my belief that I attract everything into my life for my highest good and for my soul to grow. While I was in the storm of unhealed emotions from the past, all I could feel was pain. But I knew in my Spirit that it would pass and I would be stronger and there would be a gift from the experience.
It was not only the “Perfect Storm” within that I experienced, but there were blizzard conditions and freezing weather the day before my retreat, “Fall in Love with the Goddess Within” was scheduled. I prayed and trusted that the women would be able to get there safely and 22 women showed up ready and willing to learn how to love the Goddess within. Unfortunately, two women from Maine had to cancel due to weather conditions.
Before the retreat began, my daughter Mary (who is a wise woman) asked me a question that I had to really think about. She said, “Mom is this behavior/pattern that you’ve had for years serving you anymore?” I admitted that it wasn’t serving me anymore and I needed to let it go and change. I also knew that I needed God’s grace to change because I had tried to change the behavior, without success.
Thank you Mary for the question and thank you for opening up your home for us to have the retreat. Everyone loved your energy and especially the chicken soup you made for us to eat. The space was perfect with the wood burning stove keeping us all warm and toasty.
I decided to bring with me a small plastic bag of Goddess Laxshmi Gold Dust to share with the women on the retreat. ‘She brings golden magical energy and good fortune to your heartfelt prayers and intentions. She will help manifest that which you truly desire’ When I arrived and opened my suitcase, the plastic bag had ripped and some of the gold dust glitter was at the bottom of my bag. So, every time I took out a piece of clothing, I got glitter somewhere on me.
As each woman arrived at the retreat and I welcomed them, they were sprinkled with the gold dust. What I didn’t realize is that the gold dust not only got on the women, but landed all over the room. As we cleaned the floor the next day, Mary gave me one of those “looks” that only a daughter can give you and said, “Mom, there is glitter everywhere.” And she was right. I told her that every time she spots some gold dust glitter she can think of me and pray for me. I got another look! She also said, “Mom the next time you do a retreat here, please leave your gold dust glitter at home. I smiled and promised I would never do that again.
I had been praying for the women who had signed up for the retreat for months. I knew it was going to be a very powerful and healing retreat. The women came to the retreat as strangers and left as friends and sisters. We prayed, danced, sang, cried, shared deeply and broke bread together. It was clear that the women who attended were not new to the spiritual life, but had already done deep healing work. They were ready to receive more of God’s love and embrace themselves as Goddesses.
I have been leading retreats for over 20 years and although all of them have been special, this retreat stands out because of the authenticity and energy of the women who attended. It has taken me years to accept my gifts and allow my light to really shine as I did for this retreat. It felt awesome to BE ME and to be affirmed for the woman of faith that I am. I no longer want to play small. It is time for us Goddesses to let our lights shine in the world. Will you join me and allow your light to shine in the world?
The first exercise that we did on the retreat was to share what we wanted to let go of that no longer served us. I was the first to write on the board: “I want to let go of trying to control how my children show their love for me.” This was the awareness and gift that I received when I was in the dark tunnel. I thank God for that awareness and realization that trying to control how I was loved was no longer serving me. I am free and full of gratitude.
Here are some comments from the women:
“This retreat really let me know that I am not alone in my thoughts. I would like to keep the flow going, knowing that God loves me and will never let me be alone.”
“This was the most inspirational gathering I have ever attended. Pat’s Spirit and connection with God is contagious.”
“I am walking away feeling empowered and would now like to create a workshop to continue to empower the powerless. Pat, you have planted the seed within me.”
“I loved every minute of this retreat. I am leaving inspired, happy and full of love. I’m signing up as soon as I hear about the next retreat you are doing.”
I want to wish you all a Happy New Year from Rhode Island. I like to think about the past year and all that’s happened and to think about all I want to co-create with God in the coming year. For me, this year has been a year of “going within” to heal and to learn how to BE, rather than a human DOING. I have also learned how to really “play” and have fun and be me.
I don’t know what this year is going to look like, but I know I want to expand into the world, using my gifts for the good of all. I am excited to see what doors are going to open as I say YES to being the best I can be. I am opening my heart to receive all the love and joy that is mine.
Although I love being with my family, it can be stressful with old family dynamics playing out. I often hear people say that they are glad when the holidays are over because they are so stressful and I am no different than anyone else. The day before I came to Rhode Island, as I walked along the ocean, I felt alive, free, happy and joyful. It was my intention and prayer to show up as ME and allow my light to shine and to bring that love and joy to my family.
Have you ever prayed for something, perhaps to change an old behavior in yourself and HOW it “showed up” is not the way you thought it was going to show up? In fact, you judged the way it “showed up” as wrong and bad.
I wasn’t expecting “The Perfect Storm” to erupt in my body when I returned to Rhode Island to visit my family. I didn’t see it coming. We often think we have dealt with something from the past, but unless we deal with it on all levels (body, mind and spirit) it can come back. And it sure did! It felt like I was in a tunnel that was dark and very painful. At first, I judged myself as wrong for the feelings I was experiencing. I thought things like, “I shouldn’t be feeling these feelings after years of therapy, I thought this was healed, why is this coming up now and AGAIN?”
Thankfully, I allowed myself to think and feel whatever was coming up. I gave myself permission to stay in the tunnel for as long as needed so I could fill myself up with love. I spent time alone and rested, instead of pushing myself to do things with the family. During the quiet time, I asked myself some questions: “Was this old stuff coming up? What was mine and what was theirs? What was past and what was present? What did I need to change and own? What was the gift in all of this?”
I asked for help and allowed myself to be vulnerable, which was not an easy thing to do in the middle of the pain. I am much better sharing when something is over and I have learned my lesson and see the gift. My Spirit knew that if I allowed myself to go into the pain and even thank the pain, I would come out on the other side into the light and healed. This has always been my process and I trusted I would get through to the other side. And I did.
I have read in Dr. Dain Heer’s book, Being You, Changing the World, that being uncomfortable and in pain is an awareness that change is underfoot. I must be willing to have the intensity of pain if I am going to have the change to BE myself and show up as me (which is exactly what I had prayed for). The greater the change you choose, the more uncomfortable it may seem for a while. It’s really the way we know that the change we have been asking for is being created. We have been taught that being
uncomfortable and in pain are bad and wrong. Instead of the pain being wrong, what if this pain is the greatest rightness because it lets us know that we are headed in the direction of the change we are asking for?
One of the most common things we do is to recreate the trauma and drama that we used to function from because it is familiar and we know who we are. How many times do we have to recreate this drama before we allow ourselves to be free and show up as ourselves? I asked myself, “Am I willing to let it go and choose differently? YES I am. Today, I choose to function from living in the question, choice and possibility. I ask myself the question, “Would an infinite being choose this?”
It was amazing when I woke up the next morning after allowing myself to feel the pain and go through the dark tunnel. I felt different inside and it was like I was a new person. I felt lighter and was free to be ME. I reminded myself that what I had prayed for (to show up as ME and allow my light to shine and to bring that joy to my family) had “showed up” in a totally different way than I thought it was going to. Spirit knew what needed healing deep within for me to BE the light in my family. With the grace of God, I am letting go of past drama and choosing differently.
I received this email right after I finished this blog.
“There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you well, pray for the ones who don’t. Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.”
Quote: “Today may there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself just the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us”.
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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