I was “Future Tripping” & it didn’t feel good

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Apr
28

It has been an interesting week of living in the “mystery” because for a couple of days all I could say to myself was, “I don’t know, I don’t know.” I realized how difficult and uncomfortable it is for me “not to know.” It’s scary “not to know” because I usually want to know right NOW! This is about wanting to control things and what’s going to happen next in my life. I saw something on Facebook this week that made me laugh. It said,” RELAX – nothing is under control.” Can you relate?

I shared something with my girlfriend, Kati, about a situation in my life that was unsettling and I didn’t know where it was going. She listened, laughed and then said, “I have never seen you squirm like this before.” She was right, I was squirming and I didn’t like it.

This is not living in the moment, where there is peace, love and joy. It is called “future tripping” and not a very good place to be in my head. I believe it is God’s invitation and opportunity for me to surrender more deeply and to practice what I preach and what I know works. This is “miracle living.”

In meditation one morning, I asked for clarity in what I wanted and didn’t want to do or have in my life. When I go within (my answers are within) and listen, I do know what I want and don’t want. Did I say “I don’t know” because I didn’t want to make a decision, make a mistake or take a risk and perhaps go in a direction that I hadn’t gone before?

It reminded me of when I was thinking about moving to Maui a few years ago. One day I said, “YES” I am moving to Maui and the next day, I said, “NO.” I drove myself crazy and it wasn’t until I got serious and ready that I finally went inside and asked myself the question, “WHAT DO I WANT?” How could God help me and go to work on my behalf if I wasn’t clear about what I wanted? I know sometimes it takes time to know what we really want and we need to be patient with the process. We will know when we are ready to know. It took me 67 years to manifest my dream of living on the ocean and I am so grateful for God’s grace that I had the courage to go within because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be living my dream today.

I am learning that it is ok “not to know” and to live in the mystery, trusting God is in control and the divine plan for my life is unfolding in the perfect and right timing. It is about being patient and willing to WAIT until I am ready. This feels so much better and I am at peace. I know my wanting to control came from living in a dysfunctional home where there was chaos and I never knew what was going to happen next. So control was a way of life to cover up the fear and pain inside. That doesn’t work anymore. Today, I am free, surrendered and can let go and let God.

I received a special gift this week. As I stretched on my bedroom floor, I noticed in the corner of the room some framed pictures that I hadn’t put up on the walls yet. I was led to read a poem that I received many years ago (and I hadn’t read in many years) when I really needed to receive it. It is called HONEY.

HONEY

BEE BUSY Doing what you love to do

BEE TRUE To the dream’s God’s given you

BEE SURE To taste the sweetness of each day

BEE SILLY Giggle lots and take off to play

BEE BOLD Enough to trust your wings to fly

BEE-LIEVE The power of prayer will get you by

BEE HAPPY Keep your outlook bright and sunny

BEE YOURSELF BEE CAUSE YOU REALLY ARE A HONEY

My mother’s name was HONEY and she died on New Year’s Day when I was 21 years old. In 2005, on New Year’s Day, I asked to feel her presence. A few hours later, I opened my computer and this poem was there and I didn’t know who sent it. I knew my mom had “showed up” for me. She was showing up for me again today, when I needed her. As I read the poem, the words touched my heart deeply because it felt like she was affirming how I am living my life today.

I am doing what I love to do

I am being true to the dream God’s given me

I am tasting the sweetness of each day

I am giggling and playing

I am trusting my wings to fly

I am seeing the power of prayer

I have a bright and sunny outlook

I AM BEING MYSELF BECAUSE I REALLY AM A HONEY

God gives us what we need when we are open, ready and willing to receive. What do you want today? What is the desire of your heart? Your desire is God’s desire for you. Live in the mystery, trust and surrender to God’s plan in your life. You are worth it!

Feelings are a gift from God

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Apr
28

A few weeks ago, I shared about how we medicate our feelings through our addictions and, consequently, run away from ourselves and the God within. This week I would like to share with you my experience in dealing with some of my feelings that have come up for me. And there were a lot of feelings!

I had several unexpected experiences that brought up some feelings. I felt fear, overwhelmed, impatient, angry, sadness, misunderstood, discouraged, and disappointment. Yikes, no wonder why I felt so tired.  Feeling my feelings takes energy and a commitment to myself to deal with everything that comes up. To feel is to deal and is to heal.

When fear (or any of the other feelings) came up, instead of denying, minimizing or judging them:

·        I welcomed them in and befriended them

·        I asked what gift it was bringing me

·        I allowed myself to feel one feeling at a time and for as long as I needed to

·        I processed the feeling and then let it go

·        I changed my thinking when I needed to

·        I spent time alone and trusted what I needed to do for myself in each moment

·        I said no to spending time with a friend when I needed to attend to my own soul first and what was coming up

·        I stayed present and listened to what my body needed, whether that be a nap in the middle of the day, a swim in the pool or a walk on the beach

·                  I practiced being grateful for every experience and sent love to all involved

My friend, Kati, and I were sharing about how our feelings have been coming up and how we dealt with them. We agreed that it almost feels like waves because they often come up from behind, unexpectedly and strong. It reminds me of “spring cleaning” getting rid of the old things that no longer serve us we so can prepare for the new to come.

Feelings are meant to pass quickly, they are like clouds in the sky and it’s the nature of them to move on. I cannot live in the moment and enjoy the present when my feelings are stuck inside, whether that is resentment, anger, fear, jealously or unforgiveness. To move on, we need to allow our feelings to come to the surface in order to let go and heal. We need to learn to give thanks for the opportunities that life provides for the surfacing of our feelings.

Feelings are gifts from God and we need to take time to listen to them. We must claim our true birthright: the freedom and courage to be ourselves, to feel and express our feelings. Feelings are the gateway to who we are. They are there to help us do what we need to do next. They give us clues if something is wrong, to help us protect ourselves and keep ourselves safe. They are a part of the human condition and we all have them.

It’s our resistance to feelings that cause more problems than the feelings themselves. Feelings are part of being alive and resisting those means resisting life. Feelings are energy, always in motion. Unstuck energy lives in the body when we resist our feelings. They get stuck in the body and may appear as a lump in the throat, heaviness in the throat or tightness in the stomach. Feelings live in our bodies and may come out as headaches, stomachaches, backaches and colitis if we don’t deal with them. Repressed feelings tend to lodge in the body in the form of hidden tensions, unhealthy habits and stress-induced chemical changes.

Many of us distance ourselves from emotional pain and cover our feelings with self judgment and make them wrong. Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. We have also learned to control our feelings, to keep them hidden away, to stuff them and smile. When you push away parts of yourself, you fall deeper into isolation, feelings of unworthiness, self-hatred and depression. Depression can be a sign we are hiding from something or avoiding action. Often it is hidden anger. Depression is inverted anger.

It has been my experience that as I let go of the feelings that no longer serve me for my highest good, like fear, anger, doubt, unforgiveness and shame, I open my heart to experience more joy, love, peace and bliss. This is the path I choose to be on today and this is the path of Love.

Wherever you are on your spiritual journey and whatever you are feeling today, trust that you are right where you need to be for your highest good and to move forward in your life. Remember, Fear is useless, what is needed is trust. Let go and let God.  

“FEAR NOT Pat, I am with you”

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Apr
15

“If ever I fear I don’t have enough, I remember the story of the prophet Elisha and the poor widow. Elisha advised the widow to FEAR NOT, but to recognize what she had. He blessed the small amount of oil in her home and had her gather more vessels in PREPARATION FOR ITS INCREASE.  Oil flowed, every available vessel was filled, and the widow was able to provide for her family. Prosperity was demonstrated through the widow’s GRATITUDE, FAITH AND ACTION; THE GOOD SHE PREPARED FOR CAME TO HER. I demonstrate prosperity as I bless and appreciate all I have and MAKE ROOM FOR MORE. All I need flows freely to me. As I receive with faith the riches of God’s kingdom, abundance is mine.”  Daily Word

Today, I feel like the widow in the scripture. Like her, I am practicing gratitude, faith and action. God says, “FEAR NOT PAT. You have stepped out in faith and I am blessing you. You prepared for good and it will come to you. You have made room for more and it will come.”

I received a gift from my friend, Mary, this week. It was a beautiful cross with FAITH on it. We walk by Faith, not by sight. Mary didn’t know that I was inspired to name my new home “Faith House.” It is a confirmation that this house is God’s gift to me and to all who enter it. My intention is that everyone who enters this sacred, holy space feels energy, presence and power of God’s love and peace.

I have learned that whenever I go higher or deeper with God, climb a bigger mountain than I ever did before, jump off a bigger cliff than I ever did before, old fears, behaviors and beliefs rear their ugly head. It can be damn right scary and terrifying at times.

“The truth is when you are out there taking a big step,you will find that you fall down even more regularly than you did before. Each time you fall, you will be faced with a choice – either turn back, or gather new strength, renew your faith in yourself, and get back on track.” Faith – A.C. Ping

I am walking by Faith, not by sight. I’ve jumped off the biggest cliff I’ve ever jumped off. I have EXPANDED my faith like I’ve never done before and it feels like I’m getting my doctorate degree in faith.  I doubled my rent and tripled my living space. WOW.

I know I followed God’s will and God opened the door. I am living in the mystery and don’t know yet all the details of HOW my abundance will flow in.  All the “WHAT IF’S and HOW’S came flashing into my mind as I am in the “Free Fall” on the cliff. I’m choosing to TRUST, KEEP MY EYES ON GOD and enjoy the ride, knowing I am safe and in God’s loving protection.

I have a choice to live in fear or in love. I am choosing LOVE and trusting God because God has NEVER let me down before when I’ve followed my heart and stepped out in faith. I wouldn’t be living in Maui if I hadn’t followed my heart and said YES to God’s plan.

I could have said NO to my dream home on the ocean (God’s gift to me) and stayed in my “boat of comfortableness” because of fear or because I didn’t know how it would happen. But that is not what faith is all about. I stepped out of the boat and trusted God was leading and guiding me BEFORE I had all the answers.

Although most of us don’t like change, it is often when we are most uncomfortable that we have the opportunity to find the strength and courage to fulfill our dreams. You may wonder how I knew it was God leading me and not just what I wanted. I knew it was Spirit because of the deep peace I felt inside my heart. By the grace of God, I became willing to risk, take action and jump.

“Faith allows us to move beyond what the past tells us is possible. Without faith, we would never create anything bold, grand, or seemingly impossible. Without faith we undermine our own ability to really get onto our life path and BE and DO what we want to DO. Instead, we put ourselves in a situation where our own fears and doubts consume our passions and kill our dreams.” Faith – A.C. Ping

If you are ready to step up to the plate, take a leap of faith and take responsibility for your life and dreams, I can help you change your internal story and embrace your divine nature. Are you ready?

I received a surprise phone call from my 2 sons

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Apr
8

I had a very exciting week last week.  I moved into my new home and it is like “Heaven on earth.”  I am still walking around in a daze and in complete awe of what God has brought into my life.  I have a poster on my wall that says BELIEVE & RECEIVE.  I asked for what I wanted, I saw it in my mind’s eye, felt what it would be like to be living here and let go and trusted that if it was meant to be, it would be.  IT WAS MEANT TO BE.

I had a surprise phone call from my oldest son, Brian, on Sunday. Half-way through the conversation he said, “Mom, you are going to be a grandmother.”  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and screamed, “Are you kidding me?” I was driving and could hardly contain my excitement and shock.  My new grandchild is due in September.  If that shock wasn’t enough, the next night I received a call from my youngest son, Jimmy, and his wife, Lara. Early in the conversation he said, “Mom, you are going to be a grandmother.”  At first, I didn’t know if he was talking about Brian or himself. But I quickly realized he was telling me that he was going to be a father and they were due in November. I will be home for Christmas and can’t wait to hold two new grand-babies in my arms.

Last week, I said to my friend, Larry, “It is my goal to be the happiest and most peaceful person I know.”  I do admit that is a pretty lofty goal, but if I practice everything I’ve learned over the years, it is attainable. I know that I am responsible for the “pace and peace” I bring to each moment and I can be as happy as I want and choose to be.  Isn’t that awesome to know that it is our choice and it is within our power on a daily basis to choose peace and happiness.

In order to achieve this goal, I need to be constantly vigilant about what I am thinking and feeling. I may have to change my thinking if I get off track and lose my peace. I have little reminders all around my house to RELAX and to remind myself that everything is in perfect and divine order and that all of my needs are being taken care of.

I have a sticker on my computer that says, “PEACEAHOLIC.”  It is a daily reminder of what I want to create in my life. Our deepest and constant need is for peace.  We all are searching for peace because our minds are often like blenders going round and round with worry, doubts and fears.  We often want to control, especially if we have come from dysfunctional families where there was chaos all around us growing up. For me, “Letting go and letting God” is often about letting go of control.

I am a “Recovering RUSHAHOLIC.” Can you relate?  I didn’t know any other way but to push and rush and stay busy. The alcoholic medicates their feelings by drinking or drugging. One of the ways I medicated my feelings was by rushing, pushing and trying to make things happen. Not only was it insane, but it was exhausting and it didn’t work.

This addictive behavior kept me away from myself and the pain that was within for many years.  All addictions (work, gambling, internet, sugar, shopping, sex, religion, overachieving, perfectionism, alcohol, drugs, codependency) keep us away from ourselves and consequently, from the God within.

I have learned that God meets me in the stillness of my soul where I hear that small, still voice within.  Stillness of soul is rare in this world addicted to speed and noise. For me, it is showing up every day and having a spiritual practice. There are many paths and finding the right one is important for spiritual growth.  For any relationship to grow and be nurtured, spending quality time is essential and it is the same with Spirit. If I want to be peaceful and happy, going within to pray and meditate is where it is at for me.

Today, I practice an attitude of ALLOWING things (and what I am to do next) to come to me for I know what is mine will come in the perfect and right time and with peace, ease and grace.  It could be a new client, a new relationship, money, friends, etc.  I allow myself to receive love and abundance; however that shows up on a daily basis. I notice and appreciate all the good that comes into my life. I “show up” daily and trust my intuition to do the next right thing.

I live in an attitude of GRATITUDE, TRUST and expectant FAITH for God’s perfect divine plan to unfold in God’s timing.  This is how I experience peace in my daily life.

If I can help you let go of an addiction, find peace in your life, stop pushing and trying to make things happen, deepen your faith in God and the divine plan for your life, please call me@ 401-862-8859401-862-8859 for a complimentary 30-minute coaching session.  It would be my pleasure and delight to speak with you.