The switch went off and fear and worry turned on

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Jun
11

“Be willing to follow wherever I lead. Follow me wholeheartedly, with glad anticipation quickening your pace. Though you don’t know what lies ahead, I know, and that is enough. Some of my richest blessings are just around the bend – out of sight, but real. To receive these gifts, YOU MUST WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT. “ Jesus Calling

I pray about everything and ask for guidance from God. I then go within and listen for the answer and what feels right and peaceful to do next in my life. I may ask experts opinion when necessary but, ultimately, the decision is mine to make and I trust God for the answers.

I recently made the decision to sell my house in Rhode Island that I have been renting since I moved to Maui two and a half years ago.  I didn’t have to sell it now, but it just felt like the next right thing to do. My tenants will be moving out at the end of July.  Although I have help from my son, selling my house from Maui isn’t the easiest thing to do.

I was going along just fine with my decision when all of a sudden it was like a switch went off in my head and the fear and worry turned on. Of course all the “what ifs” popped into my head and you know how the mind can drive you crazy IF YOU LET IT.  My fears are almost always about what may happen in the future or not having enough.  As I believe, I gratefully receive. Worry is a form of unbelief. When I am in the present moment, I am at peace because I have everything I need and that is where God is.

My house didn’t sell when I tried to sell it two years ago and I asked myself, “What if that happened again and where would I get the money to pay the mortgage when I was already putting out so much  money to pay the rent in my new home?” YIKES

I was sharing with my womens’ group that I felt some anxiety about putting my house up for sale. One of the women said, “Pat, you need to read your book again and REMEMBER all your stories about how your house sold in the past.” I knew she was right and decided to spend the next day with myself REMEMBERING all the miracles and what God had done in the past.

I knew I also had a CHOICE to escalate and entertain the fear or to choose love and trust God. It was that simple. I decided to choose love and practice what I knew worked to deepen my faith and to trust more deeply.

• I acknowledged my fear and asked God for healing and transformation.
• I spoke to my fear and said, “I will not let you rob me of my peace and serenity and living my dream.”
• I prayed and meditated and BREATHED deeply.
• I repeated, “Nothing can separate me from the presence of God.  I am ONE with the presence of God. I am the presence of God.”
• I went within and listened for the next inspired action and then took that action
• I did what made me feel happy, joyful and felt good.
• I did what felt pleasurable – went for a swim, took a walk, took myself out to lunch, took a nap.
• I talked to myself “THINGS ALWAYS WORK OUT FOR THE GOOD” and it’s all for my highest good.
• I wrote a gratitude list.
• I practiced staying in the present moment – gazing at the flowers, clouds, trees & walking along the ocean.
• I accepted “what is.”
• I used affirmations, “Thank you God for the right and perfect person to buy my house and that it will flow with peace, ease and grace.”
• I visualized myself signing the closing papers for my house when I return to Rhode Island in August.
• I watched for “God Winks” and signs from God – and got lots of them.
• I said, “Just for today I will not be afraid or worried.”
• I reached out to a friend in need.

I used these tools as many times as I needed to until the fear was gone. I am so grateful how I recognize the fear and can move through it so quickly. As quickly as the switch was turned on, I have the POWER to shut it off immediately and bring myself back into God’s presence and peace.

To strengthen my faith, I took the advice of my friend and read my book again. There were many stories related to buying and selling houses and how God came through miraculously at the last minute. I will REMEMBER all that God has done in the past for me because God is the same yesterday as He is today and will be tomorrow.

I WALK BY FAITH AND NOT BY SIGHT.  I trust in the Lord with all my heart and rely not on my own understanding.  I know God is leading me and has me covered. All is well and so it is.

Being in Love is wonderful and brings up my STUFF

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Jun
3

Have you ever noticed that when you are learning a new behaviorlike speaking up, saying no, learning a new skill, or learning how to dance, you can’t get enough of it and you want to do it all the time?  What often happens is that the pendulum swings to one side and it goes out of balance. It takes time to come back into balance, to live in the present moment where there is peace and joy.

Not only does the pendulum swing out of balance, but old behaviors may rear their ugly head. No worries, this is normal. When you have a daily spiritual practice and are connected to Spirit and your higher self, you notice this doesn’t feel good and you need to change.  Too much of a good thing is not healthy and it could drive you and your friends and family crazy.

Being in love and in a new relationship is wonderful and life-changing, but it doesn’t exempt me from going out of balance and losing my peace.  And it doesn’t take long! Have you ever prayed for something and then when you get it, you feel afraid? God must laugh at us human beings.  I am grateful that I can laugh at myself and am learning to take myself lightly. I have learned to feel my feelings and instead of denying or pushing them down, I share them so I can work through them. I am also willing and open to look at my “stinking thinking” and change my thinking when necessary.  It is so easy to take things personally, future trip, or jump to conclusions and be negative.

Although I don’t like it, being in a new relationship brings up my STUFF; like fear, insecurity and control. How silly of me to think I was done with my STUFF because I don’t think we are ever done with our STUFF.  I may say I don’t like it when my STUFF comes up, but I really do because it is a gift and opportunity to allow God’s grace and healing to occur. It is also an opportunity to focus on loving myself.

For much of my life I focused on others and put myself last. I thought I knew what was best for others and what they should do, but I didn’t have a clue or know what I wanted. Wasn’t that what we were taught to do? I thought if I loved you enough, you would love me back.  I realize now that this is backwards because I need to love myself first before I can truly love another. I thought focusing on myself and my needs were selfish and felt guilty if I did put my needs first. I know today that it is self-caring and what God wants me to do. If I’m not loving myself, I cannot truly love others.  What a gift to know this and teach others how to do it.

“I am totally and completely supported by the Universe.”  I love how the Universe speaks to me and gets my attention.  I knew “something” didn’t feel right inside of me, but I wasn’t clear what it was and what I needed to change until I had the dream.

God always speaks to me through my dreams. I know I dream every night, but I don’t always remember them unless God wants to get my attention and guide me through the dream. I have had a recurring dream for many years and hadn’t had the dream in a long time. When you have a recurring dream, it is almost always a lesson that needs to be learned or re-learned again.

In my dream, I was “rushing” to catch a plane because I thought I was going to be late. When I work with my dreams, I ask a lot of questions to help me get what the message is. The message was clear: I needed to RELAX, trust the process and know that all was well.

There is a chapter in my book called, “Slowliness is Godliness” and it is about rushing.  Here is what I wrote:

 “I constantly raced around, going from one thing to another.  Rushing was my addiction and I never took my time with anything. If I rushed and stayed busy, I didn’t have time to feel my feelings and go within.  It gave me energy when I rushed. I felt powerful when I multi-tasked and felt in control. Just like the alcoholic who uses alcohol to medicate painful feelings, I used rushing to medicate painful feelings from my childhood. I always pushed myself to do more and be more. I never felt good enough and didn’t know how to relax. A friend told me that rushing was abusive and a death wish.  It’s a death wish because when I rush all the time, I disconnect from myself and from the divine energy of God within.  When I rush, I’m not respecting myself or the God within.              

Rushing became a way of life for me.  Although on the outside, I may have looked peaceful, there was an “inner rushing” that was pervasive and intense. If I wanted peace in my life, I had to change.  It only takes one person to change your life – you.  I had to slow down, be conscious and learn to live in the moment.  I asked God for the grace to slow down and relax.”

Thank you God for showing me the truth in what I need to change. I am back in balance, still in love, trusting God, loving myself, feeling my feelings and surrendering to “what is” showing up in my life, knowing it is all good and for my highest good.