Many people have commented on the first chapter of my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” It’s called God is my Bargain Hunter – How God Provides at Yard Sales. After reading the chapter they say to God, “If you provided for Pat like that, I will ask too.” It really is about believing and being grateful before things “show up.” God is still providing for me on this beautiful island of Maui. Sometimes it feels like magic the way I am provided for and it makes me smile.
I love how the Universe works when I trust and allow things to flow. Last week, my friend, Sally, told me about a neighborhood yard sale in an exclusive, gated community in Maui. They have it twice a year and there are dozens of yard sales. Now, being called the “yard sale queen” by my friends, I was excited and planned on attending, until I remembered that I had a coaching session scheduled for 8:30 a.m. I thought about calling and asking her if she could come later in the day, but that didn’t feel right. I trusted that if it were meant to be for me to be there at 7 a.m. when the doors opened, she would cancel. Sure enough, I received an email from her on Thursday night informing me that she had to cancel. Of course, I was grateful and excited about that.
Larry asked if he could join me. He’s been with me a couple of times when we’ve stopped at yard sales along the way. But this was different because this was the big league in a gated community with so many yard sales. I said, “Larry, I would love you to join me, but you have to be willing to follow my yard sale protocol. This is what we do: We first peruse the whole area to see if there is anything we want. We move fast and don’t hang around to talk to people because if you snooze, you lose. Please don’t discourage me from buying something that I think is valuable. He smiled and said, “Okay, honey, you’re the queen, I won’t interfere, I’ll let you play.” I just love how he loves me!
We left the house at 6:30 a.m. as planned to find the treasures we were looking for (or not looking for). As always, God’s timing is perfect. Larry’s birthday was the next day and I’ve been searching for the perfect painting for his “man cave” since he moved in 3 weeks ago. I was glad he was with me because I wanted to find him something that he really liked. Of course, I prayed and asked God to provide the perfect painting (and price) for him. We saw several beautiful paintings, but nothing jumped out at us. We had almost finished our “yard sailing” when I spotted another yard sale sign down the street.
I spotted the 2 matching flowering paintings hanging on the wall immediately when I walked into the garage. I thought they would be perfect for over the couch and hoped that Larry would also like them. He not only liked them, but I offered the man less than what he was asking for them and he accepted happily. As soon as we arrived home, Larry hung them up for me and they looked awesome. How much better does it get than that?
On another note on how God provided for me. Last week, I was invited to my friend, Gail’s, house for a “play day” to paint and decorate rocks. Our friend, Lesta, is an artist and paints rocks and puts spiritual messages on them. She then leaves them around the island for people to pick them up. We had so much fun being creative by painting and putting colored beads on the rocks. I loved the idea of painting rocks and putting messages on them and leaving them around the island and decided I wanted to do this myself.
I planned on going to Ben Franklin to buy some paint, brushes, colored beads and this stuff called, MOD PODGE, which I had never heard of or used before. We used this to glue on the beads and seal the paint on the rocks.
It is even hard for me to believe that I found everything I wanted for this project at 3 different yard sales. First, I found 9 tubes of acrylic paints and 6 new paint brushes that were perfect for painting rocks. A little while later, at another yard sale, I found the colored beads in a case for $2.00. I was thrilled and couldn’t wait to start my new project. We were on our way home and only a couple of minutes from our house when I spotted one more yard sale. Of course, we had to stop and I was shocked when I saw the brand new bottle of MOD PODGE sitting on the table. I mean, really!
Last, but not least of how God provided: Larry brought 2 of his antherium plants with him that look beautiful on our lanai and I told him that I wanted to buy some more plants. At the very first garage sale that we stopped at, God provided 6 beautiful potted flowering plants for my lanai at the perfect price.
As I shared in my book, “The beauty of my “yard sailing” lies not just in the price, but the knowledge that God does care about the details. His answers to my yard sale prayers constantly reminds me that I’m taken care of, that God is in my life and that He wants me to have all I need and desire. The fun I have finding bargains reminds me that God has fun when I have fun. I think God enjoys placing bargains in my path as much as I enjoy finding them.”
I want to thank all of you who wrote and shared your responses to Larry’s thoughts and feelings about our love relationship. It touched us both very deeply and we are so grateful that our relationship gives you hope to see the possibilities of what God wants and intends for you in a committed relationship.
Many of you have shared how you appreciate my honesty and authenticity in writing my weekly blogs. It truly is my desire to share the good, the bad and the ugly, although I don’t believe any more there is the bad or the ugly. Of course, there are always challenges or problems in our lives. But, I choose to see everything that happens to me as an opportunity rather than a problem because I believe that I attract everything into my life for my highest good and for my soul to grow.
Did I want to share what happened this week that was very personal and felt shameful? No, I didn’t but I know that shame is healed when it is brought into the light. I also heard Spirit say, “I want you to share this in your blog.” I choose to share it because I want to be true to myself and authentic to all of you.
Last Thursday, a few days before Easter, I felt a shooting pain in my whole lower back when I got up to get a drink of water. I remembered what my back felt like a few years ago when I could hardly walk and had to be on my back for a few weeks. So, for 3 days I really “gave into” taking care of myself and rested and stayed quiet. I read books and iced and put heat on my back all day long. I prayed, meditated and did the Emotion Code to release trapped emotions. I believe that our body often wants to get our attention and speaks to us through our pain. Our body remembers everything that has ever happened to us and there may be emotions or false beliefs that need to be released.
It was revealed to me in prayer that I had an old belief that no longer served me. The belief was that it is wrong and bad to “waste time on myself” and to do nothing, even if it is very pleasurable. I loved lying in my bed and reading for hours. Because my back was hurting, I gave myself permission to rest and I didn’t feel guilty. Because of this false belief about “wasting time on myself”, I don’t think I would have given myself the luxury of reading all day without feeling some guilt.
Granted, there was a time in my life while I worked and raised a family that I didn’t think I had a choice to “waste time on myself.” I became a “busyaholic” because there was a lot to do, but also to medicate my feelings. I didn’t want to feel the pain that was deep inside of me, so I stayed busy. There is nothing wrong with being busy and responsible, but it must be balanced with taking time for ourselves and doing things that give us pleasure – and that may be doing nothing and reading a book all day long – without feeling guilty.
It’s important to know what gives you pleasure. During my quiet time, I wrote a list of all the things and activities that bring me pleasure and there were a lot of things on the list from dancing, walking on the beach to spending time with family and friends. I liked it when it popped into my mind that I am now a practicing “pleasuraholic.” A pleasuraholic means I live in the present moment, I feel all of my feelings, I believe I’m deserving of pleasure, I trust the process of life, I enjoy pleasure, I surrender and accept “what is.”
I was surprised when I received an email the next day that read, “Are you a pleasure anorexic? Do you unconsciously or habitually deprive yourself of pleasure? I immediately said, “No.” I have this one covered and that’s not me. After all, I had just written my list of all the ways that I give myself pleasure. I enjoy giving and receiving pleasure from those I love. Then, Spirit shined its light into my heart and showed me some truths that I was in denial about and didn’t want to see about myself.
I’ve shared in past blogs that I was sexually abused as a young girl by a family member, a priest and a teacher. I was robbed of my innocence and suffered many years because of the abuse. It has been a long journey of healing, forgiving and transformation. I am very grateful to God for my healing. What I know about the spiritual journey is that there is always MORE uncovering and healing to be done, especially if there has been any kind of physical, emotional, spiritual abuse or trauma in our lives.
It may be uncomfortable and I may not like it when something comes into the light that needs attention and healing, but I know it’s for my highest good. I felt sad and then angry when I realized that I was still suffering from the “aftermath” of the abuse and needed healing from the sexual abuse that occurred over 60 years ago.
Nothing changes when I stay in denial. When I come out of denial, I will not only have to face myself and the truth, but I will have the opportunity to change, with God’s grace. Even though I knew that change is for my good & necessary, I still felt some fear because it was unfamiliar territory where I didn’t have control. Feeling like you are in control is very important to someone who has experienced abuse.
I was able to admit to myself, that even though I had grown enormously in healing my sexuality, there were still some areas where I needed to heal and grow because I didn’t allow myself to RECEIVE all of the pleasure that I was entitled to and deserved to receive.
I know in my heart that Larry is God’s instrument in my life to heal my unhealed wounds. His love, kindness and patience give me courage to move forward and receive all the gifts God wants to give me, including enjoying my sexuality 100%.
Are you able to give and receive pleasure in your life or do you sometimes feel guilty doing things that are pleasurable and fun? You are worth it and deserve to experience the riches God wants you to receive. Start today and do one good thing for yourself every day and see how that feels.
This Easter Sunday was very special to me as it is the 1st year anniversary of my “Awakening.” Last Easter, Larry joined me for the Easter Sunday celebration at Unity Church. I was so touched when he gave me a beautiful flower lei right before the service. I remember during the service, praying, “God, open my heart if Larry is my soul mate.” I was just beginning to have some romantic stirrings towards him after being best friends for 2 years. I believe it was that prayer that awakened me to the reality of love right before my eyes. I also know it wasn’t God’s timing until that very moment that my heart was opened. Although we were best friends and had built our relationship on trust and respect, we each had some inner work to do before we moved to the next level.
I am amazed at all that has happened over the past year because I opened my heart to love. One year later, we are celebrating Easter Sunday service together again and Larry surprised me with a beautiful flower lei. My heart overflowed with joy and gratitude. He not only surprised me with a lei, but he purchased leis for my 2 girlfriends, Kati and Catherine, who were attending the service with us. How much better does it get than this?
As you all know, Larry and I moved in together last week. It was a big step for both of us, giving up our freedom and coming together to build our life together as a couple. For me, it feels like we have been together forever because it’s just flowed with peace, ease and grace. I love him living here and playing together. What a gift at this time in our lives to be together in love.
I asked Larry if he would be open to share with you his experience of our relationship and moving in together. Here is what he wrote:
“Pat and I had been discussing moving in together for some time. I had been living alone for the past 3 years and was very happy in my condo. The thought of moving was not pleasant, even though Pat and I are very compatible, love one another and find much joy in being together. Like most people, I don’t necessarily like change, so it was a big decision for me to make.
Even though I felt some fear, it seemed like the best thing to do. I am learning not to worry and control things, but to allow Spirit to do the work. I am also learning to choose love instead of fear. During this process, I realized how much of my decision making over the years has been fear- based. I often tortured myself with thoughts like, “If I do this, I am afraid this will happen and if I don’t do that, I am afraid that will happen.”
When I finally made the decision that the move was for my highest good and for the good of our relationship, everything seemed to just fall into place. Our mantra or prayer was, Everything will flow with peace, ease and grace. Whenever I felt anxious about the move, Pat reminded me about the mantra and we would say it together. It really worked because “we get what we expect” and I was expecting it to flow with peace, ease and grace.
Here are a couple of examples: I was feeling some concern about who would help me move the furniture and heavy stuff from my condo. I really value the relationship I have with the folks who owned the condo I rented. When I gave them my notice, they were really disappointed that I was leaving. To my surprise, they offered to move me to my new home in Maui Meadows. The move went, as we expected, with peace, ease and grace. Not being a “techie”, I was concerned about setting up my computer and smart TV. They not only moved me in, but helped set up everything up all in one day. Pat has shared in her past blog about finding the beautiful stress-less recliner chair valued at $2000 for $800 delivered to our home. I am now enjoying the recliner every day and I love it.
My spiritual journey is similar to Pat’s and our desire is to be vessels of love in whatever we do & wherever we go. In now living together, we are creating a rhythm that takes compatibility, flexibility and patience. It is a perfect opportunity to develop and deepen our love relationship. It is my spiritual belief that Love is the most powerful energy known to humankind. For me, LOVE IS GOD. I do not allow fear to have any power in my life any more. I bring everything to love because that is where the power is and Love will never fail me. The more that I allow myself to be a vessel of love, the more love comes into my life.
Those of you who follow Pat’s blog realize what an inspiration she is. With her beautiful blue eyes and lovely smile, she lights up the room when she walks in. My nickname for her is “Sparkle.” She has been and always will be an inspiration to me. She has encouraged me to love myself, to be positive and to trust the power of love.
I am settling into my new “home” and am enjoying our free and easy stress- less lifestyle. My heart is full of gratitude for what Love has brought into my life. I am happy and look forward to walking this path of love with Pat as we grow spiritually as a couple and as individuals. We are given many opportunities every day to grow and become more conscious. Sometimes that’s scary, but it’s nice to know someone has my back. I look forward to continuing this journey and welcoming all the opportunities that will arise. “
Thank you God for all the blessings in my life. Thank you Larry for coming into my life and loving me the way you do. My journey has been enriched and deepened because of your love and presence. Although Larry doesn’t see it in the future, who knows, we might even write a book about our “Love Story.”
On the morning of the day Larry moved in, I was so filled with gratitude and joy that I wanted to let my 4 children know how happy their mother was. This is the text I sent them: “Remember the song, “This is the day that the Lord has made” that we sang when you guys were younger? I want you all to know that your mother is very grateful, happy and in awe of the good in my life. Larry is moving in today and living together on the ocean is truly a dream come true. Thank you for supporting me and loving me as I followed my heart and moved across the ocean. I feel your love and I love you all very much. My prayer for you is that you follow your heart and that all of your dreams come true. Aloha.” My son, Brian, wrote back “This is the day YOU have made with the Lord.” Yes, we co-created it together.
My children are happy that I’m happy, just as I’m happy when I see them living their lives fully and they are happy. This is all we could ever ask for each other. I have been divorced for 17 years and we know that it’s not always easy on our children. My children weren’t happy that I was divorcing their father and for a while, the younger ones were angry with me. Even though I understood their anger, it was still very painful to be the brunt of their angry behaviors.
There were several things I learned during that time; it didn’t work to nag them or try to get them to talk about it. I learned to allow them their space to work through their process and just sent them love. I learned to not take it personally and beat up on myself for their feelings and my decisions. If I hadn’t had the courage to move forward in my life and trust God for my life and the lives of my children, I would not be experiencing the joy, love and happiness that I now have and I wouldn’t be living my destiny.
For the past several months (after Larry and I made the decision to move in together) this is what we said to one another when we thought about the move, “Everything is going to flow with peace, ease and grace.” We have truly experienced the POWER of our intention because everything has flowed with peace, ease and grace. In next week’s blog Larry will share his experience of how it has flowed with peace, ease and grace for him.
I love how the Universe works and how things shift when they are meant to shift and change. It’s all about trusting God’s perfect timing. I live in a beautiful suburb of Maui called “Maui Meadows.” Several months ago, a man moved in across the street and the problems started. He would come home in the wee hours of the morning and greet his barking dogs which, in turn, woke the neighborhood up. He would then sit outside and talk on his cell phone, which kept me awake. I could practically hear his whole conversation and I wanted to scream out the window, “Shut up.”
Last month, the police were called twice in one week because of drunken brawls and yelling and fighting. I even called the police last week at 4 a.m. because of the cursing and yelling that I heard. The situation was definitely escalating and I was concerned for Larry moving in with all the noise and fighting because the condo that he lived in was very quiet.
Of course, Larry was aware of the problems before he moved in and we agreed to see it as an opportunity to send him love, rather than a problem to be solved. Two days before Larry moved in, I had breakfast with my girlfriends and shared what was going on. My friend, Kati, said kind of nonchalantly, “He’s going to be moving out.” I loved that thought, but I had no idea when that was going to happen.
That very night, while sitting on my lanai, I noticed 2 police cars in front of my neighbor’s house. The policemen were just standing by their patrol cars while the man carried out large garbage bags of his stuff and put it in his car. “Was he really moving out?” I wondered. I wanted to jump for joy. I assumed he was evicted and the police were called so there wouldn’t be any fighting. When his car was finally loaded with his stuff, he pulled away – never to be seen again. About 20 minutes later, an older woman and her son pulled up and walked into the house. I will introduce myself to her and welcome her to the neighborhood…
The next morning, it felt like something was lifted and I felt a “lightness” all around me. It has been 5 nights since Larry moved in and it has been peaceful and quiet. I know God’s timing is perfect, but this just blew me away that 2 days before he moved in, the situation was taken care of and I didn’t do a thing but trust God and send love. Did our attitude of seeing it as an “opportunity” to love rather than a “problem” have anything to do with it? I don’t know, but I am just very grateful for how it all worked out.
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- I had the Surprise of my Life
- Larry’s reaction when I shared I have feelings for you
- The Divine Pause
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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