Browsing all articles from May, 2015

The Power of Self-Love to Manifest Your Deepest Desires

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I love how Spirit works in my life and guides me for my highest good & for the good of all involved. For the past 3 years when I returned to Rhode Island  I’ve led a women’s retreat at my daughter,  Mary’s,  farm in W. Greenwich. The retreats have been very powerful and I looked forward to seeing all of the women each year. It was like a big reunion sharing with one another about how God answered our prayers.

As I started to prepare the retreat for this year I felt stressed thinking about marketing it and trying to get it all together while here in Maui. As I prayed about it and sat with it, I decided not to do it because it just didn’t feel right in my gut. I have learned to trust my gut for it has rarely been wrong. It’s when I don’t trust my gut and my feelings that I get in trouble.

I felt relieved and peaceful after I made my decision not to do the retreat.  When I feel peaceful, it is ways an indication that I am aligned with Spirit.  It’s after I make my decision that the peace comes, not before.  I have learned that when one door closes, another one opens if it is meant to be and the best thing is that I don’t have to push the door to open. I trust that whatever is to come to me and is mine will come at the perfect and right time.

About a month ago, my dear friend, Donna, called and asked me if I would like to be the speaker at the “Women of Faith” dinner at the Rehoboth Congregational Church.  Of course, I said, “Yes.” I am thrilled to be able to share my story and all that God has done in my life. Donna wants to dedicate the dinner to a woman in the congregation who died a few years ago. This woman loved to say “Aloha” and, in fact, gave Donna a booklet called “The Aloha Spirit – The Little Pink Booklet of Aloha.”

What an honor it will be for me to share my personal experience of living “aloha” and to share what the Hawaiians teach about aloha. In the Hawaiian language, aloha stands for much more than just “hello” or “goodbye” or “love.” Its deeper meaning is the “joyful (oha) sharing (alo) of life energy (ha) in the present (alo).”

As you share this energy, you become attuned to the Universal Power that the Hawaiians call mana. And the loving use of this incredible Power is the secret for attaining true health, happiness, prosperity and success.  I will be sharing a technique in HI which enhances your power to bless by increasing your personal energy.

I bought a new “Hawaiian dress” at a yard sale about a year ago that has been sitting in my closet that I’ve never worn.  God knew I would need it for this talk with the Hawaiian theme. I love how God provides before I even ask.

As I thought about the title and what God wanted me to share with the women, what came to mind was the importance of self-love.  Like many of us, I didn’t know how to love myself growing up nor was I encouraged to love myself.  In fact, just the opposite was taught.  I was scolded for being “selfish” and “conceited” and to focus on other’s needs rather than my own.

It’s been a long journey of self -discovery and healing. Part of the process for me has been identifying old beliefs that no longer served me so that I could become the woman I am today and the woman God created me to be.  I know, for sure, that I would not be living in Maui or have met my soul mate, Larry, if I hadn’t identified the belief that I don’t deserve good things in my life.

There were many things I learned (after my divorce of 30 years) while I was without a partner for 15 years. Being single and focusing on myself has been the best thing that could have happened to me. I learned the importance of self-love and to trust God and myself. This is truly what my spiritual journey has been about.

I hope you will join us for the “Women of Faith” dinner.  The title of the talk is “The Power of Self-Love to manifest your Deepest Desires.” I will be sharing my story of how I manifested my deepest desires. I would love to meet some of you  who faithfully read my blog every week. I look forward to seeing old friends and meeting new friends.  I look forward to sharing the love and aloha.

I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks and I didn’t know why

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I needed a “Pat Day” and time to be alone to “go within” to meditate and pray. I drove to the ocean and parked my car along the road.  I sat on the rocks and allowed the sound of the ocean waves to wash over me. I could feel the tears bubbling up and wasn’t even sure why I was crying. When I finished meditating, I prayed and asked God for clarity and truth about what was coming up and what I needed to release or change. I asked myself, “Was the pain about the present or something from my past?” Pain is an indication (especially emotional pain) that something needs my attention.

As I’ve shared in past blogs, being in a relationship is great (and I wouldn’t trade it for anything), but it does bring up my “stuff” and where I need to change and grow. It not only brings up my “stuff” that needs changing, it brings up how I’ve grown and changed. I like this much better.

Today I’m celebrating my growth and the courage to “go within.” I am committed to my spiritual journey and allowing whatever needs to come up to come up to be transformed. I no longer medicate my feelings, but allow myself to feel everything. I know to feel is to deal and to heal; and feelings are a gift from God.

Writing is one of the spiritual tools I use to help me get clear on what’s going on in my life. I just keep writing and writing until I get clarity and get to the bottom of my pain.  Before I started to journal, I was able to identify some positive behaviors that I have changed over the years.

Spirit brought to mind an experience that I had with one of my sons about 10 years ago. I confronted him and shared my feelings about something he had done that hurt me.  Clearly he didn’t hear me and no matter how I tried to explain it, he wasn’t buying it.  I was frustrated because it was important for me to know he heard me (and change his behavior). After going around and around and trying every communication technique I knew, I finally got it and the light bulb went off. I was trying to control him  and trying to make him see it my way. When this realization came to the light, I apologized for my controlling behaviors, of wanting to be right and was able to let it go!

Here is what happened and where my growth was: I confronted Larry about something that happened the night before when we had company. He listened, but didn’t have the same perspective that I had. In fact, it was just the opposite. The good news is that I didn’t argue with him, try to control him and get him to see it my way. I trusted my perception and didn’t have to make Larry wrong and me right. This was definitely growth. I knew it wasn’t resolved yet and we needed further discussion, but that would be after my time alone with God.

In past relationships, it may have taken me a week or a month or a year to share my feelings. Because I was afraid to share my feelings, resentment would build up and it would often come out sideways. I also would tend to minimize or deny things because I didn’t want to rock the boat. There were times that I didn’t even know what I was feeling. I often asked friends, “Would you feel this way if this happened to you?”

The growth for me is that I trusted myself, my feelings, Larry and the strength of our relationship to be honest and share my perception, even though it was different from his.

After Larry and I discussed the previous evening, I knew I needed to spend time alone with me. We had lunch plans with a friend. In the past (because of my people pleasing tendencies), I would have pushed myself to go to lunch because I thought someone else’s needs were more important than mine. I had to make a choice to love me and take care of my needs or to be there for another person. I chose to love me. I have learned the importance of loving myself first and filling up my tank before I can truly love another.

I spent 3 hours praying, writing and asking for clarity. I know my answers are within and if I ask, I will receive. What was revealed to me is that I am responsible:

  •  For myself, my perceptions and my feelings
  •  To give myself the attention and time that I need when I need it
  •  To communicate what I want and don’t want
  •  To set boundaries about what I will and won’t do
  •  To change what I can change
  •  To follow my heart, trust myself and change my mind when I want to

When I returned home, I shared with Larry all that happened in my prayer and meditation. I was clear, straight forward and non-judgmental. We had a great conversation and I felt loved and heard. Thank you God for answering my prayer for clarity & truth. Thank you for my awakening and the gifts that await me daily.

Alan Cohen writes, “When something painful happens, it isn’t the end of the story. It’s simply another chapter in the book. Hang in there until the end of the tale and you’ll find value and meaning in everything that happened and you’ll recognize its role in your awakening. A setback is really a setup and behind every tragedy awaits a gift. If you open it, it will be revealed.”


Mary, the divine mother “mothered” me when I was motherless

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As Mother’s Day approached, I thought about my own mother (who died when I was 19 years old) and then the gift of being a mother and bringing 4 beautiful children into the world. Bringing children into the world and being a mother is the most important job I will ever have – and the one that I had the least training for.

It’s been almost 50 years since my mother died in St. Helena’s Church on my parent’s 25th wedding anniversary. Without a mother on earth for all these years, I’ve had to learn to “mother” myself and allow others to “mother” me. Thank God for my grandmother’s love for I would not be who I am today without her unconditional love. My girlfriend, Carole, lost her mother at an early age, also, so we have often “mothered” each other over the years when we needed a mommy. Today, I am blessed with many beautiful feminine women who enrich my life as I do theirs.

I would like to share with you my relationship with Mary, the Divine Feminine. Growing up Catholic, I remember “May Day” and having processions around the school honoring the Blessed Mother. I had a devotion to Mary and even had a little altar in my room with flowers for the month of May. Believe it or not, I still have the statute I received for my Holy Communion.

When I reached my teenage years, I forgot about Mary and didn’t want anything to do with the Blessed Mother.  Can you relate?  Many years ago, I met a woman named, Dolores, who clearly had a beautiful, loving relationship with Mary that intrigued me. I wanted what she had and asked her how I could get the relationship back that I had as a young girl. She advised me to say one Hail Mary every day, which I did.

My kids remember saying the rosary as a family while driving in the car, which, of course, they loved to do! LOL  I don’t say the Hail Mary’s every day anymore, but I have a loving, strong, nurturing relationship with our Divine Mother and Mother Earth. She is there to “mother” me when I need mothering and I call upon her assistance often.

As I look back over the years, I realize that the month of May has always been a very powerful spiritual month for me and I’ve had many internal shifts and transformations. So I now expect and look forward to spiritual experiences and surprises during the month of May.

Larry was surprised when I told him it was “May Day” and brought out my statute of Mary to put on the kitchen counter. When he returned from the market later that day, he bought me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers for my little “altar.” As my friend who just met Larry said, “Pat, he gets you.”  Yes, he does and he knows what’s important to me, even though it may not be important to him.

This past week, I had the opportunity to accompany my friend, Gail, to Honolulu as she underwent major surgery. Since I had the same surgery many years ago, I shared with her my experience and what helped me to stay peaceful and calm. Our mantra was, “Everything will flow with peace, ease and grace.” Although there were a few bumps that we dealt with (we had to change plane reservation because her operation was delayed and we couldn’t make the scheduled flight), it truly flowed with peace, ease and grace.

During our time together before the surgery, I was led to ask Gail if she had a relationship with the Blessed Mother. She said, “I didn’t grow up Catholic, but just a few weeks ago when I was really sick, I needed a “mother” and prayed to Mary. Gail’s mother died 30 years ago, so we had something in common and knew the pain of being “motherless.”

I prayed with her when she left the hotel in the morning for surgery. We prayed the “Hail Mary” together and when we were done, we looked into each other’s eyes and said, “I am going to die, you are going to die, but we have this moment.”  It was a very touching moment for the both of us. During my meditation later in the day, I saw her mother on one side and the Blessed Mother on the other side of her while she was in surgery and I was at the head of her bed.

As I’ve learned to love and “mother” myself, I was able to be an earthly “mother” for Gail. It was such an honor for me to be present to her and help her with whatever she needed in the moment. My prayer and intention was to be a “peaceful presence” to her and I feel that was accomplished. Through this experience, Gail and I bonded in a new and deeper way. Not only did we share our journeys, we laughed, prayed and played together.

Gail is an amazingly strong woman whom I have come to love and admire. Her kindness, vulnerability, gentleness and gratitude to everyone (from the nurses, to the taxi cab driver, to the lab technician who drew blood) were quite remarkable. Gail has had a grueling year and her courage and trust is a gift to all who know her. She truly is a gift to me.

I look forward to the rest of the month with Mary and how I will grow spiritually.  I would love to hear  your experience of the Divine Mother.


I was in fear with all the “what if’s”

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My mind felt like a blender going around and around as I thought about what to write about for my blog this week. There were several areas in my life that I could write about and I didn’t know how or where to begin. So I prayed, began and trusted Spirit would lead and guide me.

Many of my friends (including myself) are experiencing a time of “clearing, cleansing, purifying and releasing” with aspects of ourselves coming to the light that no longer serve us.  Everything that is hidden is being brought into the light so it can be healed and transformed. Being in a relationship is great and I wouldn’t trade it for anything, but it does bring up my “stuff” and sometimes with a vengeance. This can be very uncomfortable and it is not easy.

I am so grateful for what I have manifested in my life and my vibration is high. Since I’m the happiest that I’ve ever been in my life and living my dream, I was quite surprised when I started to experience several recurring and unpleasant dreams. I have worked with my dreams for many years and know that God gives me messages and brings up things in my subconscious that I’m unaware of.

Dreams come to assist with a problem, show us a deficiency or pattern of behavior, or give us guidance. Most recurring dreams are about some unresolved issue, fears that we need to overcome, or when we need to change our perspective about something in our lives. They may also be from past lives and what we experienced.

When I awoke from one of my dreams, I felt exhausted, afraid, confused, drained and panicky. The themes of the dreams were about being lost, running, rushing, losing my car and not remembering how to get back to where I was. As I prayed, meditated, journaled and worked with the dreams, Spirit revealed some old beliefs and attitudes that needed transformation and healing.

What came to light was that I felt fearful of losing my relationship with Larry. I had waited for so long for this divine connection and I didn’t want to walk this journey alone again.  My fear was about the future and all the “what ifs.” What if he dies soon or if he gets sick, etc.

I don’t want to live in fear or worry about what may happen in the future to me or to someone I love. That is called “future-tripping.” Often we think if we worry enough, we can control the future-this is an illusion that destroys our peace of mind. The truth is that I have no control and am not responsible for what happens to anyone else. All I have control over is my thoughts, feelings, reactions and behaviors.

I allow myself to be robbed of the present moment when I “future trip.” I allow myself to be robbed when I can’t let go of the past and stay stuck in the past. The present moment is all I really have and that is where God is and where there is peace. I asked myself why so many of us “future trip” and don’t live in the present moment. I think, for me, it’s because I’m afraid of what will or won’t happen. The bottom line is that I don’t trust myself and I don’t trust God enough.

If I want to live in peace, I needed to clear and release this fear that was lurking below the surface so I could live life to the fullest and live in the present moment. I read that fear just comes from a thought and I don’t need to be afraid of a thought. It says in the bible that fear is useless, what is needed is trust.

“Most people let their moments slip through their fingers half-lived. They avoid the present by worrying about the future or longing for a better time and place. The more connected I am to my source moment by moment; there is no time for worry. Then I am free to let Spirit lead and direct and I walk in peace.” Jesus Calling pg. 128

I shared my fears with Larry and what was revealed through my dreams. What is interesting is that Larry had just returned from a walk with a friend and she had shared something with him that was very I powerful. Here is what she shared. “A grandmother was teaching her 4 year old granddaughter not to be afraid of death. She looked into her granddaughters eyes and said, “I am going to die. You are going to die. All we have is the NOW.” WOW, this is exactly what I needed to hear and practice. Larry and I now look into each other’s eyes and say it daily to one another and it is so healing and transforming.

“Every positive change, every jump to a higher level of energy and awareness invites a rite of passage. Each time we ascend to a higher rung on the ladder of personal evolution, we must go through a period of discomfort, of initiation. I have never found an exception.” Dan Millman

Instead of “future tripping” and worrying what will happen in the future, we can practice what Abraham writes “As you give thought to your future—your future that may be 10 years; your future that may be 5 years; or your future that is 60 days away—you literally begin pre-paving. And then, as you move into those pre-paved moments, and as that future becomes your present, you fine-tune it by saying, This, is what I now want. And all of those thoughts that you have put forth about your future, right down to this moment when you are now intending what action you want to take, will all fit together to bring you precisely that which you now want to live.”


Our love was born of trust and faith

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LOVE…. Wait for it. A gentle Love, a tender Love, a passionate Love with big plans, an everyday Love with quiet moments, a Love born of TRUST & FAITH… a together, forever Love.

This card “jumped” out at me and I bought it for Larry for our one year anniversary. It seemed to say it all because our relationship is truly based on love, trust and faith. I waited 15 years to attract this kind of love into my life. While I waited, I learned to trust myself (what I wanted and didn’t want) and to truly love, respect and become my own best friend.  As I look back, I realize I needed that time to be alone to find myself and to know that I could take care of myself. I stopped looking outside for the love that was always inside of me.

Larry and I are called to be “vessels of love” wherever we go in the world. And that means just BEING ourselves and allowing our love to shine forth. That is not hard for me to do since this is the happiest time in my life and my gratitude is through the roof! I love smiling at strangers and welcoming them to the island with a simple Aloha.

Larry celebrated his birthday last Sunday. We went to breakfast with friends and he had his favorite Banana Foster pancakes. Since he had some stressful situations during the week he didn’t want to do anything but relax, which was fine with me.  We had a great day and enjoyed the pace and peace of the day.

One of our favorite restaurants that we love to go to for Mai Tai’s is called “5 Palms.”  It is right on the ocean and has beautiful sunsets. We hadn’t been there for months since in high season it’s very crowded. I said to Larry late in the afternoon, “How about I treat you for your birthday and we go to “5 Palms” for a drink?” He immediately said, “Yes, what a great idea” and off we went.

We chatted with the hostess briefly while we waited for her to seat us.  After we were seated, we looked at one another and knew it wasn’t going to work for us because we were so far apart. We prefer booths where we can be close to one another and hold hands. The hostess was still in the area talking to the wait staff. I immediately got up and said to her, “Could we please get another table because we like to sit close to one another and it’s his birthday today.” She smiled and said, “Let’s see what we can do.”  I think she thought it was cute these “older folks” wanting to sit close to one another. She found us new chairs and we were able to sit next to one another.

We celebrated Larry’s birthday while we enjoyed our drinks and watched the sunset. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the waitress (with the hostess right behind her) coming our way with a dessert and candle on top. We were so touched and grateful by this kind gesture that Larry got up and hugged the hostess as I said, “Namaste” to the waitress. A few minutes later the waitress came over to the table to talk with us. I wish I could remember everything she said, but I can’t. I know she complimented us on our love energy together. She said, “I see a lot of people dining in this restaurant, but I don’t often see the energy that you two have together very often”.

As we were leaving the restaurant, I handed my “Simply a Woman of Faith” card to the waitress. To say the least, we were blown away by her remarks as we are beginning to understand that our combined light and love energy is very powerful.

The next day my friend, Bette, and I met after our yoga class for a visit.  She shared that her friend, Linda, had just arrived from the mainland the night before. In our conversation Bette said, “I would like to take her to an Al-Anon meeting since her therapist suggested she attend”. I texted another friend who attended meetings regularly and she told me when and where the next meeting was going to be. It was the next day at 12 noon.

I attended 12 step Al-Anon meetings for many years and I still practice the spiritual tools that I learned in my daily life. I love the program, even though I hadn’t attended a meeting in several years and had no desire to. I could have given the information to Bette and be done with it, but something inside prompted me to say, “If you would like, I will go with you both to the meeting”.

Even though I didn’t understand why it was so strong that I attended the meeting, I trusted my intuition that I was meant to go the next day with Bette and Linda. The meeting had just started when we walked in and there were about 20 people sitting around the table. There was an empty chair at one end of the table that I was drawn to sit in while Bette and Linda sat on the opposite side.  When I turned to look at the women next to me, I almost gasped because it was the hostess from the restaurant. We looked at one another with our mouths opened as I said, “Vera” and she said, “Pat.”  We both knew this was no accident or coincidence, but since the meeting had started, we couldn’t talk to each other until the end.

After the meeting, Vera shared with me that she moved to Maui with her partner 3 months ago and last week was her first time at this meeting. I said, “I now know why I came to the meeting today.”  She asked if she could call me since she needed new friends to support her. Of course, I said “yes” and gave her my card.

Can we ever doubt that God cares about us and is leading and guiding us? All we have to do is ask for help, trust, believe and allow Spirit to arrange the events and people to come into our lives for our highest good. And, of course, trusting and following our intuition is essential.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
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