I didn’t know how I felt when Pat told me she had romantic feelings

Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs

Sep
2

When I meet people and they ask me, “What brought you to Maui?” I put my hand on my heart and answer, “My heart.” If they are interested and want to know more, I say, “I know I am going to meet my soulmate.”
I asked myself some questions, “How did my heart know? What does my heart know that my head didn’t know? Why is it hard sometimes to follow my heart? Is the truth in my heart? How will I know if I am following my heart? How do I move from my head to my heart?”
In regards to moving to Maui, my head said, “No way can you move to Maui, you can’t leave your family, you don’t have enough money, what if it doesn’t work, what if something happens to you and your family is so far away, what will you do for work and on and on.” I also had to let go of what my family’s “truth” was for me and follow my “own truth.” I asked myself, “Were these thoughts positive and life-giving or would they keep me stuck?”
We need to use our head and our hearts to make decisions in our life. They both give us important information that we must pay attention to. Many of us don’t follow our hearts because of fear and we stay stuck in our heads. When this happens, we are paralyzed and cannot move forward. It is important to learn how to move from our head to our heart for the desires of our heart to be manifested. I would have missed out on the most thrilling adventure of my life of moving to Maui and meeting my soulmate if I stayed stuck in my head.
Moving from my head to my heart may be the longest journey I take. It does not mean I give up my reason. It simply means that I connect with the very depth of my being. It is not an abandonment of logic, but it is getting in touch with what already exists within me. Our head is where we formulate our decisions and choices. Our heart is where there is love, peace, harmony, joy and happiness. In our heart lies our true consciousness. It is the seat of our soul.
At some point, through the GRACE of God, I made the CHOICE to trust my heart (LOVE.) It is my belief that God places the desires of our heart in our hearts. I had to cooperate with the Universe, if you will, and be open to following my heart and that meant leaving everything that was comfortable and safe. I had to TRUST and step into the adventure of the unknown.
I am sure we have all had the experience at one time or another when we just “knew” something was right and we followed our heart. I know I am following my heart when I feel peaceful and surrendered. Once I have surrendered, it is like I am being carried on the “wings of grace” and I just move forward, almost effortlessly. That doesn’t mean that fear doesn’t try to rob me, because it does. But I choose love instead of fear and do what I am called to do.
Another example of moving from my head to my heart was when I told Larry, “I have romantic feelings for you.” My head said, “What will he think of me when I tell him? He just got out of a relationship, he needs time to heal. What will people think? This could wreck our friendship. What if he doesn’t have any feelings for me?” For sure, I felt afraid and didn’t want to tell him. I struggled until I heard the small, still voice of God say, “You have to tell him.” I knew it was God and after some time I said, “O.K God, I will tell him.”
I made the CHOICE to move from my head to my heart. Love is where my heart is and I knew I could TRUST Love. The rest is history and I am so grateful I listened to the voice of God and my heart. When you follow your heart, your dream, your vision and you say YES, the Universe takes over and makes a path for you. There is always more life to live when you have the courage to step out and receive all that God has planned for you. Here is how Larry moved from his head to his heart.
Human relationships are very interesting and in my experience have always given me an opportunity to grow and become more conscious. It takes a tremendous amount of courage to put your “heart out there” unprotected and take a chance to be in a new love relationship again. For as long as I can remember, I had the feeling that “I COULD HAVE IT ALL.”

In many of my relationships over the years, I felt as though I had an emptiness or hole that I could not identify or explain. I understand today that I was looking “outside of myself” to find the solution or reason for my emptiness. When I went inside, I found out what the truth was; I needed to love myself to fill the emptiness. If we don’t love ourselves and allow (GOD) to show us how really important we are and how much love wants to lavish itself upon us, we will never be able to have a healthy love relationship with someone else.

Pat and I have a really special relationship; we had been best friends for two years and had formed a bond of trust and appreciation for each other that few people have. During those two years, Pat saw that I had a difficult time accepting compliments or gifts from others. She encouraged me to look at that and begin to love myself. I believe that we are called to be vessels of love and it’s very important for me to follow that calling. I began to understand that to be a vessel of love I had to first accept love. I believe love is a gift, waiting to be accepted. We have a choice to say “Yes, thank you” or “No, thank you.” I think accepting the gift of love is at first a head thing because we have to release thoughts that tell us we are not deserving, not good enough or unworthy. When we say “Yes, thank you” it becomes a heart thing. When we say YES to love, we become vulnerable and sometimes that involves risk. I am much better at accepting and loving myself than I ever have before.

After two years of having Pat as my best friend, I was surprised (and wasn’t sure how I felt about it) when she shared she was having romantic feelings towards me because I had not allowed myself to go there. She was a great friend and I was thankful to have someone like her in my life that way.

When Pat told me she was feeling romantic toward me a lot of my “head” stuff popped up. Things like
“Will it last, will I get hurt, can I trust love?” Fear wasn’t far behind. I asked myself “Do I want to risk a wonderful friendship and allow myself to see this relationship in a different way?” I remember saying to Pat once, “We are lucky we’re not in a romantic relationship because it would probably destroy this great friendship we have.” I had also just ended a relationship that I thought was the best I ever had, but ended up with me being blindsided and hurt. I asked myself, “Do I want to risk that again? How could I trust again? Isn’t it too soon to start another relationship?”

My response to Pat was “Let’s see what happens.” It didn’t take too long because we already had such a great relationship and I really trusted her. I was gradually able to face my fears, get out of my head and let my heart receive the love that was being offered. I let my heart lead, trusted and let go of fear and all of the negative thoughts and doubts that would have sabotaged our relationship. I was able to forgive and move on with my life.

I’m thankful to Love (God) for helping me to forgive, heal and move on so I could accept this wonderful gift that Pat is in my life. I always knew “I COULD HAVE IT ALL” and I do.