We were desperate and cried out for help

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Three of my single girlfriends moved into their new homes the last couple of months.  I probably am one of the first people to ask, “How can I help you and what do you need?”  Of course, they are very grateful and appreciative.  I always say to them, “It is my pleasure and I am just giving back what was given to me.”  And I truly mean it.  It will forever be in my heart what was given to me and the real meaning of community.
Over 35 years ago, my family and I were very active in a Christian community. To be closer in proximity to our brothers and sisters, we bought an old house that 2 women had lived in for fifty years and nothing had been done to it. It was a mess and needed EVERYTHING done before we could move in with 4 children under the age of 10.
It was truly through the eyes of “faith” that we had the courage to buy this house.  I could see its potential and possibility and the price was within our means. What I didn’t know, at the time, was that we would only have 2 weeks to complete the needed renovations (a new bathroom, kitchen and every room needed to be painted) before we could move in.
It looked impossible that we would be able to move in on time and obvious to us that we couldn’t do this on our own. When you are desperate, and we were desperate, your pride goes out the window and we cried out to the people in community for help. Do you ever wonder why it is so difficult to ask for help?  Although very humbling, what happened was truly a miracle in action.
This may sound crazy, but it is true. One man in the community took a week of vacation to put in a brand new kitchen and wouldn’t take any money for his time and expertise.  Another member built a new bathroom on the first and second floor. Every room was newly painted before we moved in.
Because my ex-husband was working full time and I was caring for the children, we couldn’t be there 24/7 to oversee and supervise. Of course, we visited every day to see the progress and were in awe of the people who showed up daily to help us.
Outside each room (we had 4 bedrooms) there was a clipboard with all that needed to be completed in the room.  The men and women came whenever they could and stayed for an hour or 5 hours.  The next person that “showed up” would check the clipboard to see what was needed to do next.
I will never forget the day we moved in and the gratitude and joy we felt in our hearts. The house was completely done over and it looked beautiful.  At the end of the day, the love was flowing and we all celebrated with a meal that the women in the community prepared.
I may not be able to say thank you to all the people that helped us 35 years ago so I am paying it forward. It is no wonder that it is my pleasure to help my friends when they move. I want to GIVE back after all I RECEIVED.
                 DAILY WORD  I am abundantly blessed when I GIVE and RECEIVE
“The spiritual law of giving and receiving brings forth abundant blessings. In my sacred prayer time, Spirit reveals to me the ways that I can give and be of service. This law is very simple. If I desire to experience more love in my life, I give more love. If peace is what I seek, I offer peace.  I am abundantly blessed when I participate in the flow of energy in the Universe.”



There have been times that I found it difficult to accept responsibility for my own actions and decisions.  When things didn’t turn out the way I thought they should, I often looked for someone to blame.  Our ego just loves this behavior.  Ego encourages us to create friction, blame someone else so we can feel superior and make them feel less than.
It is important that we look at ourselves to learn and grow from our experiences.  We are not perfect and sometimes we make mistakes. I know I’ve put my foot in my mouth so often I’m surprised I can still walk.  If I can forgive and have compassion for myself, then I can do the same for others.
When we are in a relationship (whether that be a friendship or a romantic situation) it is important to own our own stuff and not start a conversation with “You said, I said.”  Sometimes we have to make decisions that we know will make the other person unhappy, disappointed or angry. I am learning how important it is to take care of myself first in a loving, patient and kind way.
It is unhealthy when a person believes that the other person should take care of them, be responsible for them and make them happy.  We are responsible for our own happiness and it must come from within.
Pat and I are not joined at the hip, but at the heart. We have our own friends and activities that we participate in, as well as things we do together.  In a healthy relationship, we walk our journeys together supporting one another with love, patience and kindness. We allow our beloved to be who they are and try not to change them or judge them. We encourage them to make their own decisions and be responsible for whatever happens.  It’s important to let them know that we will be there to love and support them, no matter what.
Recently, I was invited to attend two different functions by two different friends on the same day.  My two friends have issues with one another.  I love them both and didn’t want to disappoint either one of them.
I didn’t want to feel manipulated in making my decision as to which function I would attend.  After I made my decision, I called my friend and was honest with her. I explained my reasons for not accepting her invitation.  It didn’t go over very well and I knew my friend was disappointed and unhappy with me.  I understood her  reaction, but accepted responsibility for my decision. A couple of days later “love” presented me with an opportunity that I didn’t see coming. I was able to invite my “disappointed” friend to another function which made her very happy and healed her disappointment.
Even though I made my decision in the most loving caring way I could, I disappointed someone I loved and cared about. I believe that because I was honest with myself and open to the energy and light of love, love was able to bring about a miraculous event that allowed my friend to be happy and move on.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

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