I looked outside for love

Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs

Aug
29

Can you imagine the surprise of receiving a message on Facebook from my friend, Sharon, whom I graduated high school with 55 years ago? I haven’t seen or heard from her in all these years. OMG where does the time go?

Of course, memories of high school days danced through my head. I graduated from a class of 800 students and I was the captain of the cheerleaders, queen of the prom, president of my sorority and voted MOST POPULAR. I worked “very hard” at being POPULAR and it was exhausting!

I know today that I looked OUTSIDE to be validated, noticed, praised and loved. I had no idea how to love myself or that I “should” love myself. I beat up on myself and never felt good enough, no matter how many degrees I received. There was a HUGE hole inside of me that only God could fill. I tried to fill that hole by staying busy, rushing, working and being a people pleaser. On the outside, I looked great, but my outside didn’t match my inside. Can you relate?

Here is what my friend from high school wrote:

“I wanted to share how connected I feel to you. I too am a woman of faith and God has taken us on a similar journey. Although I didn’t grow up in an alcoholic home, I married an alcoholic, who is now recovering and my daughter is an Addiction Therapist.

My faith was nonexistent until I found Alanon and learned to surrender. Once having taken that leap of faith, I too received many blessings. What I wanted to share with you is that I had become very complacent in my faith. I read your inspiring book and it put the fire under me again, so thank you. I will be going to our 55^th high school reunion in October. I will be bringing 3 copies of your book to share with some of my closest friends. I know from your postings that you have found your soul mate and are living your dream. I am living my dream too and I thank you for reminding me of how awesome God is.”

As you can imagine, I was thrilled and grateful to receive her message and that she is bringing 3 of my books to the reunion. Holy Moly! I’m also grateful that I had the courage to say YES to God, face my fears and have my book published 10 years ago.

When I was in the middle of writing my book (that took 7 years to write), I had a dream. I went to bed hysterical crying and said to God, “I can’t write this book, no one will read it, I’m wasting my time, you have chosen the wrong person.” I was riddled with FEAR. Thank you, God, for not giving up on me, like I had given up on myself.

Here is my dream:

I was climbing up a staircase. When I got to the top of the stairs, there was a STAR. As I reached out to touch the STAR, I became the STAR. I received an affirmation, “I am a STAR that shines brightly to lead others to the God within.”

It truly is my passion and purpose to shine brightly to inspire others to know their Source as the divine presence of God within. I share my story every week, not for validation or to be admired or praised. I share my journey to encourage you so that you know you are not alone and that you can live your dream, as I am doing today.

My friends, I encourage you to face your fears, listen to the small, still voice of God and remember Spirit will never lead to something without equipping you for the task.” I am here to help you and show you how to live your dream.