Chapter 18 “It’s Never Too Late for Love” Ego

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This truly is the season of gift-giving and sharing with others. Larry and I would like to gift you with one of the chapters from our book, “It’s Never Too Late for Love.”  This is Larry’s perspective of ego. You will have to buy the book to get my perspective.  Enjoy.

                                            CHAPTER 19     EGO  

“There is only one of the two that can reside in our hearts GOD or ego. If God is in ego is out.” ~ A.R. Rahman

Larry: The ego is our “false self” and the current state of humanity. Ego shows up in our lives through our thoughts and its negative energy causes us a great deal of stress, pain, and suffering. Once we allow ourselves to be directed into the egoic state of mind, we find ourselves in a downward spiral towards a life of negativity and fear.  

We believe we are not good enough, handsome or pretty enough, too thin or heavy, too tall or short, or not smart enough. Any negative thoughts you have are brought about by the ego. The ego will encourage you to be unkind and disrespectful, to judge others so you can feel better about yourself, and to see everyone else wrong and you right.

 For example, we have a sliding screen door that leads to our lanai. It doesn’t slide well, and I have tried to fix it, without much success. If it isn’t closed just right, it stays open and leaves a space. I asked Pat to be careful and make sure the door was closed all the way when she uses it. I am concerned that centipedes, cockroaches, mice, or rats will gain entry if the door is not closed all the way. It is not as much of a priority for Pat as it is for me. Although she has tried to close it tight when she goes outside, sometimes she doesn’t think about it and there is a space open.

I was bitten by a centipede a few years ago and it wasn’t much fun. From my perspective, closing the door is particularly important and I would like to have it closed all the time. I know if critters get in, Pat is not going to dispatch them and will call me to do it. For Pat, it’s not that important. Wow, my ego had a ball with that; it tells me, “What the heck is wrong with her, why can’t she close the door all the way? What is she five years old? Why is it a big deal to just close the door all the way?”  My ego says, “She’s wrong and I’m right.” I can see how ego is trying to cause drama and negativity in our relationship if I allow it.

After several months of feeling frustrated every time I looked at the opened door, it became obvious that the situation wasn’t going to change. I could continue to feel frustrated or I could do something about it.  I finally asked myself, “How would a vessel of Love handle the situation?” This is what I learned. My options were: 

 * Talk to Pat about it. I did.

 * I could move; I don’t like that option.  

* I could feel resentful every time I see the door opened.   

* I could put on my big boy pants and take responsibility for the door.   

Yea! I like the option of taking responsibility for the door, no one is right or wrong.  

When I see the door open now, I just close it. Love showed me my ego had been running the show. To be a vessel of Love requires me to look at myself and discover what needs to be changed. I changed my perspective and took the power away from ego. Taking responsibility for the situation certainly brought more peace and harmony in our lives.  

Of course, this is just a small example of how ego will try to disrupt a relationship and cause separateness. If we are open and conscious of the power and energy of Love, it will become our default and will help us in all kinds of situations.                        


Where has my ego robbed me of my peace? 

 Am I a helicopter wife or husband?  

How does ego disrupt my relationships?  

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
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