A dark night of the soul
Thank you for reading my blogs and encouraging me to continue to share my life journey with you. It is my desire to inspire you so that you know you are not alone and that we are all CONNECTED.
It’s hard to believe that I started writing my blogs 12 years ago in 2007. So much has changed and continues to change in my life; like writing a book, moving to Maui, getting married, living on the ocean and finding my soul calling at this later stage of my life.
I’ve been sharing my journey with you as honestly as I could with the ups and downs as I’ve grown and navigated my spiritual life. I’ve been vulnerable and It hasn’t always been easy, but I continue to go deeper to release and let go of what no longer serves me. What I know for certain is that there is a PLAN and I am never alone and neither are you.
Although this is my deepest truth and knowing that God has a plan, a purpose and a gift for everything that happens in my life, sometimes I FORGET, especially if I’m going through something painful and it doesn’t make sense. My ego is relentless and vicious as I go deeper with Spirit and FORGET that there is only LOVE and that we are all CONNECTED.
This past month has been a struggle for me and it felt like a “dark night of the soul.” It came on suddenly as I was triggered and felt anxious, sad, disappointed, fearful, confused and didn’t feel safe. I didn’t run from it, but instead allowed myself to feel it all as I tried to make meaning out of what was going on. After praying about it and seeking guidance, it became clear to me that it was childhood memories that I needed to release and heal. It felt like the veil was lifted as I experienced what it was truly like growing up in my childhood home.
Thomas Moore writes, “A dark night of the soul is a kind of initiation, taking you from one phase of life into another. You may have several dark nights in the course of your life because you are always becoming more of a person and entering life more. The first step is to embrace the darkness, take it to heart, winnow out any subtle innuendos of resistance. You will awaken into something deeper. A deeper sense of purpose or connectedness with a greater life that is not dependent on explanations or anything conceptual. It’s a kind of re-birth. The dark night of the soul is a kind of death. What dies is the egoic sense of self. Of course, death is always painful, but nothing real has actually died—only an illusory identity. Often it is part of the awakening process, the death of the old self and the birth of the true self.”
I picked a Goddess card called Crone of Seas-Resurrection
“She rises from the ocean depths reborn through the dark night of the soul. She embodies heart transformation and resurrection from death into new form. She is renewed and resurrected through massive emotional change. She appears during powerful times of release and shifts in life.”
My daughter, Mary, was present during my “dark night of the soul.” She loved and supported me through it all. When she left, she gave me a beautiful card and wrote, “I am so proud to see you work through your past and learn and grow. This is the best gift you could have ever given to me. You are an amazing example of perseverance, love, patience and joy.” Her words of affirmation will remain deep in my heart forever. The greatest gift we can ever give our children is to work through our past and release what no longer serves us.
A couple of days ago, I received a card from a friend with a bookmark that read “I know the PLANS I have for you, declares the Lord.” God has a plan for you and it is always good. TRUST and RELAX as it unfolds in the perfect and right way.
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