Are you aware of how your ego shows up and how it robs you of your peace? My ego shows up in many ways. I’m grateful that I recognize it and get back into the truth of who I am as a child of God and into my heart.
It “shows up” when I compare, compete, control, blame, shame, judge, feel guilty, afraid, unforgiving, jealous, or better or less than. I had no idea how ego played such a huge part in my life for many years.
I wasn’t “conscious” as I am today and how I allowed ego to rob me of my peace. I didn’t know we are all connected and ONE and that everything and everyone is a projection of what’s inside of me. Marianne Williamson states “The ego is the fear-based self or shadow. We are either hostage to ego or host to God.”
I had an experience this week of ego rearing its head by being triggered. Fortunately, I spotted my ego almost immediately and asked Spirit for help to change my “story” and perspective. Today, I see triggers as a gift from God showing me where I still need inner healing from my past.
There was a time when I judged and beat up on myself when I was triggered. Not anymore because I know when I’m triggered it is an unhealed part of me that’s coming up to be transformed and healed.
When I’m in the middle of being triggered and my emotions are out of control, I may not recognize immediately that I am being triggered. Whenever I’m reacting “strongly” to something in the present that doesn’t warrant such strong emotions, it’s often a trigger from my past.
My friend, Nancy, who is vacationing on Maui came to our home for dinner. Larry and I shared how grateful we were to be living here in our beautiful home and that our landlord hasn’t raised the rent in 8 years. Larry said, “Our landlord appreciates us especially since prior tenants destroyed the place and didn’t keep the place clean.” His next comment seemed to come out of nowhere and surprised Nancy and me. He said something like, “like us, we don’t clean.” Are you kidding me?
Of course, he was only kidding, but it triggered me big time and I froze. I felt embarrassed, insulted, shocked, and angry. When Nancy left, I calmly said to Larry, “I felt embarrassed when you said that about not cleaning. What did you mean?” He kind of brushed me off and minimized my feelings. I wanted Larry to acknowledge what he said and apologize for his behavior.
Instead of blowing up as I have in the past and reacting, I went to the bedroom and journaled my feelings without holding anything back. As I journaled my feelings, it became clear that the strong feelings weren’t about what Larry said, but about being in a marriage of 30 years when my husband was passive-aggressive and often put me down in front of others. I was surprised since I had forgiven my ex many years ago and didn’t have any ill feelings toward him. I wrote and used (EFT) Emotional Freedom Tapping until I felt peaceful and able to go to sleep.
When I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, the first thing that came to mind was what happened and how angry I felt. I knew it was my ego trying to keep me stuck and angry.
As I was falling back to sleep, I heard Spirit clearly say, “Can you forgive without an apology?” Wow, that was deep! With the grace of God and my willingness to let go of anger and forgive, I said YES. When I woke up in the morning, I had no “residue” of resentment from the night before. I had done my inner work and was free.
Larry takes Kobi out for an early walk before I wake up in the morning. When he returned from his walk, we greeted one another with a hug and he immediately said, “I apologize for what I said at dinner last night. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
I believe that everything happens for a reason and for my highest good. If I want to be the best and highest version of myself so I can love and serve Spirit, I must be willing to take responsibility and heal the wounded parts of myself that have been buried inside of me. It’s a process and things come up to be healed when we are ready to let go and surrender.
My faith is strengthened every time I remember how Spirit has provided, guided, and opened and closed doors at the perfect and right time.
Whenever I feel fear or am stressed about what’s going on in the world and things that I can’t control such as wars, climate change, economy, housing prices, covid, vaccine mandates, food shortages, I remind myself that all I have is this present moment and everything I need is inside of me. The past is gone and the future is not here yet. All I have is NOW and that is what’s real.
I am learning to take responsibility for myself and what I can change in my part of the world. I strive to keep my vibration high in gratitude, peace, and love rather than fear, worry, anger, and stress. I send out prayers and love to the world.
I met a woman this week and was led to gift her my book, Simply a Woman of Faith. She sent me a text and said, “I love your book and couldn’t put it down. It gave me lots of hope and relief. Thank you so much. I wish I had made it to Bermuda.”
Remembering how I was provided to travel to Bermuda prompted me to share this story. This happened 35 years ago when I was really stressed and down. I was in the middle of healing from childhood sexual abuse and needed some quiet, alone time desperately.
Going on vacation by myself lingered in my mind and in my dreams for a long time. It surprised me because I had never done anything like that before. I didn’t even go to a restaurant by myself, never mind going on a vacation.
After working with my dreams and praying about it, I decided to visit a travel agency to check out brochures for Bermuda. I had gone to Bermuda for college week when I was 16 and I remembered the deep, crystal-clear turquoise water.
The saleswoman said, “We have some great deals now on Bermuda and I have the perfect hotel for you.” I fell in love with Angel’s Grotto. It looked like the perfect and safe place to go, especially for a woman traveling alone.
When I asked about the price she said, “It’s only $1200, everything included. You can’t beat a price like that. Shall I book it?” It seemed like a good price, but I didn’t have $1200. I didn’t even have $100.
I thought to myself, “I’ll never be able to afford this. What am I doing God? I haven’t even told my husband about it. He’s going to think I’m out of my mind, especially since his unemployment runs out and he doesn’t have a job yet.” Of course, the inner critic chimed in loudly. “Who do you think you are even thinking about going away? You are selfish and self-centered. You don’t deserve this.”
I prayed and asked Spirit to guide me and close the door if this wasn’t His will. When I shared with my husband that I was thinking of going to Bermuda on vacation by myself, he was surprised and asked, “Where are you going to get the money?”
I said, “I’m praying in the money.” He was quiet for a while and then said, “Go for it.” He was supportive and knew the toll the sexual abuse had taken on me.
A couple of weeks later, I ran into a neighbor (whom I hardly knew) while taking a walk. I was shocked when she asked, “Pat, do you know of anyone who can help me with my ninety-year-old mother who just came home from the hospital? I need someone to stay with her for 4 hours a night and put her to bed. I can pay 10 bucks an hour.”
I was so excited and said, “Yes, I’d be glad to help you with your mother. When do I start?” I started the next week and the money poured in quickly. I achieved my $1200 goal in no time. God opened the door and provided all the money I needed to go to Bermuda at the perfect timing.
The trip was not what I expected, but exactly what my soul needed. It rained for 3 days straight. I got caught in a rain/sleet storm while riding my motorbike across a causeway, with cars racing by me. I was terrified and when I got to the sheltered bus stop, I threw my bike down and screamed at God. I had no idea how much anger was inside of me.
It took a hail storm in Bermuda to release the anger and let it go. The next day, the sun shone brightly and I felt transformed and experienced a deep peace within.
Spirit knew what I needed and opened the door and provided everything for my highest good. Remembering the miracles and what God has done in the past will always strengthen your faith.
I asked myself, “How does your faith grow?” The answer came quickly and spontaneously. It comes through the trials and tribulations that ALWAYS give us the opportunity to TRUST (or not). I have had many open and closed doors over the last 5 decades on my spiritual journey. It’s not easy to be patient when you are in the “hallway” and waiting for the door to open. Sometimes it takes years of waiting-like waiting 15 years for my soul mate to appear. It was worth the wait, although there were times when I complained and banged on the door. It didn’t do any good, except get me frustrated and angry. God’s timing is ALWAYS perfect.
My family received a text today (Good Friday) from my son, Tim, sharing his journey of open and closed doors. He didn’t give up on his dream, in spite of many closed doors over the last year and a half. The text brought tears to my eyes, and I am so proud of my son for his perseverance and TRUST in the divine plan for his life. The best Good Friday text ever. I’m grateful to be able to share this with you as the saying goes, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.
“Well family, some great news on Good Friday. I closed on the construction loan this afternoon! It’s been 18 months with five rejected offers on several different pieces of land I wanted to buy. There were five or six times that the funding was approved, then unapproved. I spent hundreds and hundreds of hours planning to get to this point. In the end, it was the love and support of our amazing family that helped me clear that last hurdle, with no days to spare on the closing. I’m so grateful for you all and what we share. As I see other friends with their families, they don’t have what we share. It’s a gift. Thank you and I love you all. Excavation has begun! The building of my new home will start next month as we wait on permits. I’ll keep you all posted!”
It brought back a memory that happened 45 years ago of an opened door at the very last minute. My ex-husband and I had applied for a VA loan so we could purchase a home for our family. We met with the manager of the bank and he said, “I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Hastings, it’s unlikely you would be eligible for a mortgage with all of your money tied up in your new business.” My husband said, “I know, but we can still apply, right?” The manager replied, “Yes you can. I just want to be upfront with you about the unlikelihood of it going through.”
Our real estate agent knew of our circumstances with money and our new business. She also knew about our faith and that we were trusting God to intervene and get us the house. She tried to be positive, but she had her doubts. She called me one day and said, “Pat, I don’t think it’s a good idea to put all your eggs in one basket. What if the house falls through? What will you do? Are you sure it’s a good idea to give your notice at the townhouse before you know if you will be approved for a mortgage?”
I replied, “Thank you Darlene for your concern. I know it doesn’t look good on paper, but my husband and I are certain it’s God’s will and it will go through.” Sometimes, it’s just God’s grace that gives you that kind of certainty-a knowing deep within.
We stepped out in faith and gave our notice at the townhouse. We started packing boxes, acting “as if” all was well. We didn’t hear anything for a while and trusted that was a good sign. With only two weeks left before the closing of the house, we started to become nervous. The boxes were packed high in the living room and dining room. We were moving, no matter what.
When I answered the phone, I could hear the hesitation in Darlene’s voice that it wasn’t good news. I took a deep breath and listened carefully. “Pat, this is Darlene. I just got a phone call from the manager of Sovereign Bank. Your mortgage wasn’t approved. I know how you were trusting God. I’m so sorry.”
I blurted out, “Is there anything we can do?” Would you please give me the manager’s name at the bank so my husband can call and explain the situation?” She responded, “I’m really not supposed to do this. I could get fired, but I will give it to you if you don’t tell anyone where you got it from.” I thanked her and said, “I promise, I won’t tell anyone.” I immediately called my friend to pray together and we asked God to intervene and give us a miracle.
I called my husband and gave him the bad news, along with the manager’s name and phone number. I instructed him to not let him know how he got the phone number. My husband called and got right through to Mr. Simone – the manager of the bank. He wasn’t happy and said, “Why are you calling me? How did you get my number? You weren’t approved and what do you want me to do about it?”
Joe said, “I’m just asking if there is anything you can do for us. Maybe there has been a mistake.” The manager reluctantly replied, “I’ll check it out and get back to you.” A half-hour later, Mr. Simone called back and said, “I completely agree with the disposition. You weren’t approved because your money is tied up in your new business.” For some “unknown” reason Mr. Simone asked my husband, “What makes you sure that the business (a Christian bookstore) is going to be successful?”
My husband doesn’t remember what he said, but to his delight and surprise the manager replied, “Okay, I will approve of it.” Divine intervention and the power of prayer for sure. It was our faith, trust, and prayer that moved mountains. We did our part, and God did His.
When we called our real estate agent to give her the good news, she said, “Wow, you must know someone upstairs. I have a stack of mortgages in front of me that didn’t qualify and they were much better than yours.” She laughed and said, “Can I please send them over to you?”
When we trust and have faith, miracles happen. I’m so grateful my son, Tim, followed his heart, in spite of the many closed doors. The right door opened at the right and perfect time.
As my dear friend, Ruth, and I sat at the coffee shop for our weekly Saturday morning sharing, a woman whom I had never met stopped in front of me and said, “You are beautiful.” She reached out and hugged me and asked if she could take a picture of us together. Of course, I smiled and said, “Yes.”
She shared she was from Indonesia and here for the wedding of her daughter. She was so open and engaging that I gave her my card “It’s Never Too Late for Love.” She was thrilled and said, “This is no coincidence you are giving me this as I am 67 and “flirting” with a man. Flirting is new for me and not something I usually do.” We laughed as I encouraged her to follow her heart.
My friend, Ruth, chuckled and said, “This happens to her all the time when people walk by her. They see her light and have to comment and ask to take her picture.”
For a second, I felt vulnerable, embarrassed, and like I wanted to hide. I don’t think I would have felt embarrassed if I was alone, but having my friend present triggered something in me from my past. The truth is almost daily, people are seeing my light and commenting on my presence, my hat, or the colors I’m wearing.
I know, without a doubt, that what people are seeing is God’s light shining from inside of me. When I allow my light to shine, it gives others permission to shine their light. It’s like it activates their own light and they remember the truth of who they are. When I am aligned with the Divine and walk the walk (and not just talk the talk) with intention and purpose, my light shines and people are drawn to the light for inspiration and hope. Marianne Williamson says, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
I didn’t shine my light for many years because I lived in fear and wanted to please others and protect myself from rejection, loneliness, and judgment. When I don’t shine my light, I close myself off from love and acceptance. I was taught to hide my light so people wouldn’t think I was conceited.
Shining my light is not about being conceited, showing off, or bragging about what I have done. It is about sharing my gifts and talents that only I can share with the world. It is about being authentically ME and allowing my light to radiate as my true essence. Instead of it being conceited to share my light, it’s about being confident and knowing the truth of my being.
As I prayed, meditated, and went deep to explore why I felt embarrassed and wanted to hide when the woman told me I was beautiful, I became aware that the ego’s voice of self-doubt, judgment, unworthiness, not good enough, and comparing was alive and well. I think my ego was threatened by my growth and higher vibration of love and gratitude.
Spirit brought to mind a very painful situation that I experienced in the workplace many years ago. I had a close relationship with another woman therapist that I trusted. We shared our lives and supported one another. Unfortunately, she betrayed me because she was jealous of me and went behind my back to the boss and told lies about me. I almost lost my job until it all came to the light about what she was doing behind my back.
I was surprised when this incident came up as I had forgiven her and didn’t have any ill feelings toward her. I think it came up to show me how and why I didn’t shine my light in the past because I didn’t want to feel pain, rejection, or be judged. There will always be people who are jealous of us and we have no control over that. Unconsciously, I thought if I got too much attention and praise for my light shining, my friends would be jealous and abandon or reject me. This is an old belief that needed to be deleted.
The past is gone, healed, and transformed. I will not allow the past to dim my light. I am a spark of the Divine and so are you. We are meant to shine our lights in the dark. More than ever, our lights are needed to give others inspiration and hope.
How I shine my light:
· I smile and look into people’s eyes and connect deeply with their soul
· I dress in colors that make me happy and joyful
· I look for opportunities to connect with other souls on the path
· I remember who I am as a spark of the divine and where I came from
· I’m authentic and real and share the good, bad, and the ugly
· I practice being in the present moment and keep my heart open
· I shine my light simply by BEING the highest and best version of myself
Shining my light means I walk in faith, TRUSTING myself and the Universe that I am always guided and protected as I radiate inner calmness and peace. It is embracing and celebrating my gifts, talents, and the truth of who I am as a divine being. It means being a beacon of hope for others by being the truest and highest version of myself. It means being true to myself that I can’t help but inspire others to be true to themselves and shine their lights. KEEP SHINING YOUR BRIGHT LIGHT!
When I intentionally “show up” for life, Spirit shows up ALWAYS! I believe my purpose and destiny is to just BE and to let my light shine by keeping my vibration high in love, peace, joy and gratitude. It sounds so simple, and yet it is profound when I remember who I am and where I came from. It’s easy to get caught up in the world and its negativity, and all that is going on. Instead of worrying and living in fear, I choose love. My heart is open and I welcome opportunities to bring more light and love into the world.
This week, I had a divine encounter with a young man named, Parker, while walking on the path overlooking the ocean. I met Parker a few days ago when another friend, Henry, introduced us. Parker is only 21 years old and has a beautiful spirit and a zest for life.
Henry shared with Parker, “Pat writes an inspirational blog every week that you might enjoy.” I had just finished writing about the encounter with Susan who wanted to die and I was led to share it with Parker. When I finished telling him the story, I was surprised when he said, “That was the Holy Spirit speaking to you.” I smiled, and said, “Yes, I know.”
I couldn’t stop thinking about Parker and was eager to meet up with him the next day on the path. I was more than curious to find out about his relationship with the Holy Spirit. I felt disappointed when I didn’t run into him for the next couple of days.
Since we had only met once, I wasn’t even sure I would recognize him since there are many more tourists walking the path now. I spotted him in the same place I met him a few days earlier and was eager to get to know him and hear his story.
His whole face lit up when I approached him. He was delighted to see me again and said, “I was hoping to see you today. I was so inspired by your story about Susan that I shared it with a friend who was struggling and it really helped and lifted him up. I didn’t know if I would even recognize you if you didn’t have your hat on.” We both laughed and knew it wasn’t a coincidence that our paths crossed. It was a divine encounter.
I was led to share with him my “blouse story” that I have shared in the blog before. But it is worth sharing again since I have many new subscribers that haven’t heard it yet. Here is what happened:
My ex-husband was out of work for a year and we had 4 children under the age of 10. It was a difficult time for us as we had just applied for welfare and food stamps. I was waiting to pick up the kids from school and had some time to kill. I stopped at the local boutique just to browse. I noticed the SALE sign in the back of the store and walked back to check it out, with no intention of buying anything.
The blouse “jumped” out at me and I fell in love with it. As I was reluctantly putting the blouse back, I heard the small, still voice of God, “Buy it and I will provide.” I looked around and thought, “Is that me or you God?”
I had a 10-dollar bill in my purse, but that was for milk and bread on the way home. The blouse was $10. I decided to listen to the voice and bought the blouse. Consequently, no milk and bread on the way home.
I picked up the kids from school and headed home. I grabbed the mail as I walked into the house and was surprised to find an envelope with Pat written across it. I couldn’t believe it when I opened it. There was a crisp 10-dollar bill in the envelope with a note that read, “From the son of a carpenter.” God’s timing is perfect!
Of course, Parker loved the story and said, “I will never forget that story.” It was like we had known each other for years as we shared our stories of faith. He said, “I’m spiritual, but not religious. I gave my life to Christ when I was 12 years old. I moved to Maui over a year ago and live with my aunt and uncle and cousin.
I know I need support because I have been slacking in my faith. I want to find a church for support and I want to serve and give back.” I told him about Hope Chapel and their youth ministry, which he really seemed interested in.
A few days later when I saw him again, he said, “I asked my buddy if he knew anything about Hope chapel? His buddy smiled and said, “My girlfriend’s grandparents were instrumental in getting the church started years ago.” Parker and his buddy will be attending the church next week.
I was in the right place at the right time and ready to be a vessel of love. Parker was so open and hungry to grow his faith. He was like a sponge wanting more of God. He asked me, “What do you do to stay connected to God every day?”
I was in my element and shared what I do first thing in the morning before even getting out of bed. I also shared my intention for the day. I asked him, “Would you like me to bring you my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” tomorrow? He was thrilled and said, “YES.”
The next day I happily delivered “Simply a Woman of Faith” to him. My heart is doing a happy dance to think that a 21-year-old wants to grow his faith and is not afraid to admit it. We just never know when Source is going to use us to support and inspire others.
When I drove into the parking lot at the Shops of Wailea with our dog, Kobi, I noticed a group of about 25 young people sitting in a circle on the grass outside the shops. I wondered what they were doing there?
Kobi and I did our daily walk around the shops, waving to many of the shopkeepers as we passed. After our walk, we sat in a comfortable chair under the palm trees right in the middle of Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and Tiffany stores to relax and people watch. I love to just sit and BE, smile, and send out love to the people walking by me.
I’m not sure why or how, but I feel incredible peace and the presence of God strongly when I’m there. There is so much wealth and opulence surrounding me with the people shopping in the high-end shops. Instead of comparing and feeling jealous that I didn’t have an expensive Gucci pocketbook, I felt this “wealth” of love bubbling up inside of me that is always available and doesn’t cost a penny. Things may satisfy us for the moment, but cannot give us the love that we all seek.
As we were sitting there and enjoying the peace, a young man about 16 approached us and asked if he could pet Kobi. I said, “No, Kobi gets nervous with strangers.” He was respectful and kept his distance. He asked me my name and I said, “I’m Pat with the hat.” His name was Gabe. He shared that he was from Colorado and here on Maui with a group of people for ministry. I asked, “What kind of ministry?” He politely said, “We are here to share the ministry of Jesus.”
I smiled and said, “Jesus has been my best friend for over 45 years.” We chatted for a while and then he asked if he could give me a word. I said, “Yes.” He said, “The lord is proud of you and so is your family and children for the heritage you are leaving them.” The words touched my heart as I teared up and thanked him for his message. I wonder if he was disappointed or relieved that I was so easy and he didn’t get to “evangelize” me?
In my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” I share a message that I was led to give a woman many years ago that saved her life. Here is what happened:
What a thrill it was to walk across the stage and receive my bachelor’s degree at the age of 44. I felt grateful for God’s love and presence in my life. I wanted to celebrate my graduation and planned a weekend getaway to the ocean for the weekend. I asked Spirit to lead me to someone who needed to hear that they were loved.
As the weekend was coming to an end, I felt disappointed that I hadn’t meant anyone to share God’s love with. I drove out to the ocean one more time hoping God would lead me to someone. As I drove my car along the ocean road, I clearly and loudly heard, “PULL OVER HERE.”
I quickly turned off the road and parked in the parking lot. I eagerly walked to the ocean; sensing God was at work. There were many people and children sitting on the rocks, playing ball and enjoying the sunshine and warm summer breeze.
I said, “Okay God, now what? Is there someone here who needs to know your love?”
YES! I heard quietly in my spirit. As I scanned the area, I noticed a woman sitting by herself on the rocks at the edge of the ocean. She looked immersed in her own thoughts. Deep in my heart, I knew she was the one that Spirit was leading me to.
I thought, “What do I say? What will she think of me? Am I nuts? Maybe this is all in my head and I should just go back to my car.” I couldn’t; I felt compelled, propelled to follow through even though I felt afraid and didn’t trust myself or God. My heart pounded. I nervously walked over, stuck out my hand, and introduced myself. I didn’t waste any time, because I knew if I did, I may have chickened out.
Her name was Susan. I said, “Susan, God wants you to know that He loves you very much.” Her jaw dropped. I could see that my words had taken her off guard. Yet, nothing came out of her mouth. The color drained from her face, as she stared at me in shock and disbelief. Tears rolled slowly down her cheeks. Then the flood gates opened as she sobbed uncontrollably and her body shook. I wasn’t expecting this kind of raw emotion and didn’t know what to do to comfort her.
I prayed, “God I need help. What do I do now?”
I gently put my hand on her shoulder and silently prayed. I realized I didn’t have to do anything but just be present with her. It seemed like an eternity before she got herself together and calmed down. As she looked into my eyes, the words came tumbling out, as if we knew each other for years.
She said, “I want to die. I wanted to kill myself at the very moment you arrived.” I gasped, trying to keep my cool, and nervously asked her. “Why? What happened?” She said, “My husband cheated on me and left me for another woman. I don’t know how I can go on without him. I was so distraught that I missed a couple of weeks of work. My boss called me into the office yesterday and fired me. I’m better off dead.”
I said, “I’m sorry for your pain Susan. God sent me here today to tell you He loves you and wants to help you.” Her body relaxed and her face lightened as she intently listened to my words. She said, “I thought God abandoned me too and that I was being punished for something. I desperately needed to hear that God loves me and I’m not alone. Thank you, Pat, for coming into my life today.”
We sat and talked for a long time about God’s love and how He had helped her in the past. We thanked God together, both knowing our meeting was divinely appointed. We kept in contact for a few years and Susan went back to school and became a kindergarten teacher, something she had always wanted to do.
We are all connected and ONE. We need one another to speak the truth, especially when we are suffering and feel alone. The still, small voice of God is in all of us. It takes courage and conviction to share God’s love with one another. I’m grateful that Gabe had the courage to come up to me to tell me that God and my family were proud of me. I’m grateful that I had the courage to speak to Susan and share God’s love.
I asked myself this question, “What does it mean to live my life by Divine Design rather than by default?”
My life is exciting, expansive, loving, flowing, and peaceful when I live it according to a Divine Design. I practice letting my light shine and not allowing others to dull my sparkle. I experience synchronicities, love, miracles, and opportunities almost daily. Are you living your life by Divine Design or by default?
LIVING BY Divine Design MEANS:
- Living with INTENTION, PURPOSE, PRAYER, and FAITH
- Going within and ASKING Spirit for guidance and direction in all areas of my life
- WAITING and ALLOWING for divine timing, rather than pushing my way
- TRUSTING the divine plan and not giving up on my dreams
- Living with an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
- EXPANSION and moving beyond my comfort zone and doing what I’m afraid of
- KNOWING God’s plan is bigger and better than I could have ever imagined
- Living in the PRESENT MOMENT and not in the past or the future
LIVING BY default MEANS:
- Going along with things and not intentional about what you want to do, or be
- Staying “stuck in the muck” because of fear and not believing in yourself
- Ego is running the show and you believe the lies of separation and duality
- Feeling out of control like things were happening to you and not sure why
- You couldn’t move forward with things you wanted to do and achieve
- PASSIVELY accepting things and how they show up
- Feeling like a victim of circumstances, rather than the hero of your own story
- HOPING things will change rather than taking action or responsibility
Before I became “conscious” and began my spiritual journey, I didn’t have a clue how to live a life of Divine Design. I was impatient, controlling, impulsive, insecure, inadequate, manipulative, and wanted what I wanted when I wanted it. I didn’t want to WAIT and pushed myself to make things happen, which is masculine energy. I often felt like a victim and that things were happening to me, rather than for me.
This is how I practice living a life of Divine Design. I don’t do it perfectly, but I “show up” every day to be my highest and best self through setting intentions, affirmations, choosing love, and allowing things to unfold according to a divine plan.
- I set my daily intentions as to what I want to feel, to do, and be.
“My intention is to love, to be peaceful, to serve, to be healthy, happy, and be a vessel of love.”
- I smile and say my affirmation in front of the mirror.
“I am worthy and deserving to enjoy this amazing life on Maui until I die that I have co-created with God. It flows with love, peace, joy, happiness, service, abundance, freedom, and radiant health.”
- I choose to trust that all is well and whatever is happening is for my highest good
- I choose to live my life consciously and on purpose
- I follow my heart and listen to my intuition, rather than living from my head
- I remember the truth of who I am, as I come home to myself as LOVE
- I remember life is not happening to me, but happening for me
- I VISUALIZE the desires of my heart as if they have already happened
- I get clear on what I WANT that excites and scares me at the same time
It’s important to know what we WANT if we want the Universe to work on our behalf. Years ago, I had an intention book that I visualized with every day. One of my intentions was to meet my soulmate and get married. A few months later, I changed my mind about getting married again and crossed it out. If I didn’t know what I truly wanted, how could God answer my prayer? I obviously changed it back to wanting to meet my soulmate and get married. I wonder why it took 15 years for me to meet Larry and fall in love. I kept changing my mind because I didn’t know what I really wanted. Can you relate?
The same thing happened with writing my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith.” It took me 7 years to write my book because I didn’t believe in myself and I was riddled with fear. One day I said YES to writing it and the next week I said to God, “I’m not doing it, you have chosen the wrong person.” I put my writing down for one year. I’m grateful God was patient and didn’t give up on me. I wouldn’t be living on Maui and married to my soulmate if I hadn’t written my book and got clear on what I wanted.
I shared last week we will be featured on the front cover of a local magazine here on Maui. My friend recently asked me, “What do you want and what would you love to happen after the magazine article was published?” I had to think about what I really wanted.
Of course, I would be thrilled to serve and share my gifts with new clients who want to go deeper and experience love and peace in their relationships. I would like people to read our book, “It’s Never Too Late for Love.” I would love it if a national magazine picked up our story and more people were served. I would love to be invited to write for a spiritual magazine.
More than anything else, I truly WANT to inspire others to never give up on finding true love and how to connect with the God within. I was given an affirmation many years ago when I was riddled with fear.
“I am a star that shines brightly to lead others to the God, Love within.”
I encourage you to get clear on what you want if you want Spirit to work on your behalf. I encourage you to live your life by Divine Design rather than default.
How do you know when you are “attached” to something or someone? When you have an expectation and are attached to a certain outcome and it doesn’t happen, you can experience disappointment, anger, hurt, sadness, confusion, etc. When you are “attached” to an outcome or a person, you tend to worry, obsess, ruminate, and try to fix, advise or rescue. Your mind is like a blender and you can’t shut it off. You want to control what’s going on because you think it needs to be changed and you have the answers. Can you relate?
When you “detach” from someone or something, you may experience disappointment at first when things don’t turn out the way you hoped or wanted. You know you have detached when you feel peaceful, a sense of lightness and rightness that things will turn out the way they are meant to. There is a freedom to own what’s yours and allow others to own theirs. When you practice detaching, there is an element of trust, surrender, and acceptance.
Detachment is not easy or for the faint of heart! It’s taken me years to learn and practice. It doesn’t mean I’m disinterested, not caring or that I don’t love the person or situation I’m detaching from. It’s not about caring less; it’s caring more about my own serenity. Detaching means I’m choosing to take care of myself and not willing to risk my own well-being. It means I stop giving my power away and depend on what others do, say, feel or act to determine my peace and well-being. When I detach and don’t give advice, fix or rescue a loved one, I’m communicating to them that I trust their decisions and journey. It’s also respecting the person that their answers are inside of them.
Here is an example of detachment and a closed door.
Last year our friend, Kerry, nominated us to be interviewed and have our story and picture on the cover of a monthly magazine called Neighbors of Wailea and Makena. Every month they feature a person or family to share their story of how they got to Maui and how they support the community.
We were really excited when they contacted us to tell us that they were interested in writing our story, but we never heard from them again. We saw it as a closed door. Of course, we were disappointed that they didn’t follow up and choose us. Because we were both “detached” from the outcome, we let it go and assumed it wasn’t meant to be. If we had been “attached” to the outcome, we would have been angry and tried to push to have it written.
Last week, out of the blue, I received an email from the publisher of the magazine stating that we were nominated to be featured in the magazine and they wanted to write our story. They asked, “Will you accept the nomination?” We were very surprised to hear from them a year later. At first, we were reluctant and thought, “What do we have to offer that would be of interest to our community?” We are retired and live a contemplative, peaceful life.
As Larry and I went within to ask for guidance, it was clear that Spirit was inviting us to share our story of love, so we accepted the nomination. Although we are excited about this adventure, we are detached from the outcome and feel peaceful that whoever is meant to read it will read it. If our story can inspire one person to not give up on finding true love, it will be worth it. God’s timing is always perfect. It was a closed door a year ago and now the door was open for us to share our story in the magazine. I have had many open and closed doors on my path. It’s always reassuring to know that Spirit will close the door if it’s not for my highest good or the right timing.
Over 45 years ago, this little book called, “How God Guides Us by Don Basham came into my hands and changed my life. My spirituality is based on the principles of open and closed doors. When I don’t know if something is God’s will or my will, I pray, “God, open or close the door.” The author writes, “Closed doors are a valid part of guidance, when God closes a door, it’s because there is another plan, a better plan. If He closes one door, He’ll open another-according to His timing, not mine. I keep moving in faith, even in the face of closed doors.”
I may be guided to do one thing and then when I get there, God has something else in mind. He doesn’t tell me his full plan ahead of time, which is probably good. Guidance comes when I move in faith, not when I sit in doubt. I step out in faith, trusting that if I make a mistake, God will correct it and get me back on the right track for my life.
Here is an example of a closed door many years ago at the very last minute:
I could no longer afford the high monthly mortgage payments because of my impending divorce. If I re-mortgaged, I could get a lower interest rate and could then afford to stay living in my home. My soon-to-be ex-husband agreed to sign the necessary papers for me to re-mortgage.
On the morning of the closing, my ex called and said, “Sorry, but I changed my mind and will not sign the papers.” I couldn’t speak at first and was in shock. Then I screamed, “You have to sign them. I won’t be able to keep the house if I don’t re-mortgage now.”
I couldn’t talk him out of it, no matter what I said. I called the bank and asked if I could sign the papers without my husband’s signature. The answer was NO because his name was still on the house. Much to my dismay, the closing was canceled.
I was devastated and said to God, “I don’t understand, I trusted you were guiding me. Did I hear you wrong? Why did you allow me to go through all of this to close the door at the last minute? I want to believe you closed the door for a reason, but I’m having a hard time trusting now.”
A week later, to my surprise, I received a letter from the mortgage company informing me that the interest rate had gone down (on its own) because it was an adjustable mortgage. The payment was now the same as if I had re-mortgaged. I even saved a few thousand dollars in the process. God closed the door (through my ex-husband’s, last-minute postponement) to save me money.
When I walk in faith and trust, God always provides in His way and His timing. My faith is strengthened each and every time when I’m willing to wait, trust Spirit and His perfect timing. Nothing is impossible with God. Better yet, EVERYTHING is possible with God.
There have been many opportunities for me to grow, EXPAND and practice self-love, self-forgiveness, patience, and healing trauma from childhood the past few weeks. I’m grateful that everything I needed was provided for when I needed it, and at the perfect and right time.
My daughter and grandson visited from the mainland and our theme was to GO WITH THE FLOW. We spent lots of quality time together playing and having fun at the beach and the pool. We went on a fantastic whale watch and treated ourselves to ice cream several times. We often changed directions to go with the flow and it worked out perfectly for all of us.
Another theme for me was to practice ACCEPTING WHAT IS! AS IF I HAD CHOSEN IT! When I tried to get up from the beach chair the second day they were here, my back went out and I couldn’t get up. I was in a lot of pain and had difficulty walking. It was difficult to accept that I had chosen to hurt my back and stay in bed for a day and a half.
This is not what I expected or wanted, but it happened and if I wanted peace, I needed to accept it, pray, surrender and let go. I did everything to heal and strengthen my back and within a couple of days, I felt better and was able to continue to play and have fun with my family.
I’m sure you can relate to this experience if you are on the spiritual path of awakening. When you are triggered and something comes up from the past, you ask yourself, “Why is this still coming up? I thought I dealt with this issue 5 years ago.” Depending on the trauma, it can take years to heal, perhaps even our whole lifetime, while we are in form.
When you have been abandoned, ignored, abused, judged, humiliated, dishonored, made fun of, or shamed as a child, those experiences can cause trauma in your body until you are ready to bring it to the light to be released and transmuted.
My experience with healing is that there are layers of trauma that come up when I’m ready to go deeper, release, and FEEL the pain that I suppressed as a child because it wasn’t safe to feel then. I know to FEEL is to HEAL whether the trauma is from childhood or as an adult.
Like most of us, I don’t like it when I’m triggered. The truth is I hate it when I’m triggered because I don’t want to feel vulnerable and afraid. I RESIST and will do everything I can to avoid feeling the pain inside when it’s coming up.
I was triggered this week. Since my feelings were so intense and out of proportion to what happened, I knew it wasn’t about the present moment, but about unresolved trauma from my past.
At first, I felt ashamed and judged myself that I was triggered and my issues were coming up AGAIN. As I allowed myself to be vulnerable, to feel, and to cry, something shifted inside of me. I was able to take responsibility for my thoughts and actions, and come into the present moment, rather than shame and blame another.
To my surprise, the next day, I listened to a talk by Dr. Kim D’Eramo from the EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping solution summit. It was very enlightening and liberating. She said, “We should embrace triggers, and invite them in. Nobody triggers us like our own family. When we ask for more EXPANSION, more love and joy, triggers will come.” She encouraged us to ask ourselves, “What is this trigger asking me to experience and to remember that it is a gift for my EXPANSION.”
After listening to the talk, I changed my perspective about triggers. Rather than triggers being something to be ashamed of, I now believe they are essential to release old energy. I will remind myself that this is what EXPANSION looks like.
Because I was willing to go deeper and heal the trauma in my body, I have EXPANDED into more love and joy, and for this I am grateful.
I’m responsible for my thoughts, actions, reactions, and happiness. I have learned to focus on myself and go within and change my perspective, if necessary, rather than judge, react or blame someone when I feel hurt or angry. For many years, my ego ran the show and I gave my power away to others and lost my peace when I felt angry or hurt.
The Universe is always giving us opportunities to grow, expand and change. Even when I’m in the middle of an unpleasant or stressful situation (that doesn’t feel like an opportunity), I know that what’s happening is for my highest good.
It’s all about TRUST and living in gratitude. It’s a choice to TRUST that everything is happening for a reason and that Spirit has my back. It is my belief that I’m ALWAYS being guided and protected 24/7.
I’m very proud of myself that I didn’t “react” to a remark a friend made this week to me. Instead of becoming defensive like I did for many years, I calmly spoke my truth, set my boundaries and was quiet. Although I felt angry by my friend’s remark, I wasn’t triggered because of the inner work and releasing I’ve done the past several years. That is good news!
I have learned the importance of allowing myself to feel all of my feeling rather than ignore them and push them down or eat or stay busy over them. What do you do to avoid your feelings?
Anger was not a feeling that I was familiar with growing up. It was communicated to me that sweet little girls don’t get angry. When I started my recovery journey over 40 years ago, I had no idea how much anger was inside of me that I had suppressed.
In my family of origin, I was allowed to feel hurt, but not angry. My best friend, who was also a “people pleaser” felt her anger first, but had a difficult time feeling her hurt. How about you? What do you feel first?
My therapist informed me that when you are a “people pleaser” there is a good chance that you are full of anger because when you focus on others, at the expense of yourself, your needs aren’t met.
Slowly the frozen feelings of anger inside of me melted as I felt safe to feel all of my feelings. Today, I have no problem feeling my anger and have learned to do it appropriately. I know HOW and WHEN to SPEAK UP or SHUT UP.
As I shared, I felt angry by my friend’s remark. I went home and journaled my anger and then asked Spirit for help. Instead of reacting and lashing out at my friend and telling her that I thought her remark was inappropriate and rude, I prayed and asked Spirit for guidance. I was guided to not speak up, but to forgive and let go. When I saw my friend the next day, something had shifted inside of me as the anger was gone and all I felt was LOVE. That’s a miracle to me.
When we ask Spirit to guide us in all our actions and affairs, we can’t go wrong. It takes willingness, humility, grace, and practice to ask Spirit for help. We have been conditioned to do things on our own and may feel weak asking for help. The situation with my friend would have gone differently if I had REACTED and hadn’t worked through my anger first.
Remember we are all responsible for our thoughts, actions, reactions and happiness. Change your thinking, change your life.
Remember we are all responsible for our thoughts, actions, reactions and happiness. Change your thinking, change your life.
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host
Simply A Woman of Faith
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