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What does it mean to surrender

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Jul
21

I know what it feels like to be surrendered and what it feels like to not be surrendered. It’s a choice to be surrendered (love) or to live in fear (ego). I know I’m surrendered when there is a deep peace in my heart, no matter what’s going on outside of me. It’s when I’ve let go of the illusion of control, trusting God has my back and I don’t have to know what’s coming next. I’m in the FLOW and allowing life and my faith to lead and guide me. I believe that life happens FOR us, not TO us and everything happens for a reason. We will always have BIG things to surrender and small, everyday experiences that disturb our peace.

Here’s what my life looks and feels like when I am surrendered:

*Peaceful,*Trusting, *Letting go, *Grace-filled, *Love, *Calm, *Living in the present moment, *Owning my personal power, *Courageous, *Connected to Source, *Resting and relaxing, *Knowing everything I need is inside of me, *In alignment with universal consciousness, *Detached from the outcome, *Allowing things to come to me, *In touch with feelings, *Accepting “what is”, *Vibrating in love and gratitude, *Asking Spirit for help, Living from the heart, *Everything planned in the mind of God, *Balanced and in harmony, *Feeling safe and protected, *Effortless, *Open to miracles and possibilities, *Knowing and living my purpose.

Here’s how it looks and feels when I’m not surrendered:

*Obsessing, *Worrying, *Living in the past or future, *Analyzing, *What ifs, *Fixing, *Anxiety, *Planning, *Pushing, *Comparing, *Negativity, *Analyzing, *Ego- driven, *Overwhelmed, *Taking things personally, *Paralyzed with fear, *Controlling, *Powerless, *Judging and blaming others, *Not taking responsibility for self.

I had the opportunity this week to practice surrendering and letting go of something that was disturbing me. I was triggered and allowed whatever needed to come up. I welcome triggers and am not threatened anymore because I know it’s an indication that I need more healing and transformation.

What I SEE in others is in me. What I don’t like in others, is in me. What I admire in others is in me. I wouldn’t SEE it if it wasn’t in me.  In other words, if I SPOT it, I GOT it. The “other” is me as we are all ONE. When I blame, shame, or judge another, I’m judging myself.

A few weeks ago, I was with a friend and felt an “emptiness” and felt ignored after our time together. She monopolized the conversation and I didn’t feel heard or seen.

I allowed myself to feel all of my feelings. I felt disappointed, angry, and sad. As I journaled and went within, I became aware that being ignored was familiar to me. My mother was an alcoholic and not available emotionally.

Because I didn’t receive the attention and love I needed from my mother, I went “outside” for validation. I became a people pleaser so desperately wanting YOU to love and tell me I was deserving and worthy of love. Of course, that never filled nor sustained me. I was voted most popular in my senior year of high school in a class of 800. That takes a lot of energy to be liked and validated.

As I went deeper in prayer and self-reflection, I asked myself some questions:

·        What is my soul trying to reveal to me about what needs healing?

·        Where have I monopolized conversations and wanted to be the center of attention?

·        Where have I ignored myself?

It was a call to action to give myself the love, compassion, and forgiveness for the times I’ve ignored myself and for the times I’ve monopolized conversations so I would get the attention I craved.

I became aware that it wasn’t about my friend and what she did or didn’t do, but about what was still inside of me that needed transforming and healing. As I surrendered to the truth of who I am, as LOVE, and doing this deep inner work, I felt peaceful and aligned with Spirit. I had SURRENDERED.


Can animals communicate with us?

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Jul
21

We get what we need at the right and perfect time when we are open and READY to receive it.

Larry and I were disturbed when Kobi suddenly started to display behaviors that we didn’t like and were concerned about. Kobi is 12 years old and we re-homed him over a year ago.

About a month ago, he started growling and snapping at me (and sometimes Larry) when we went to pet him. He also startled easily and would jump when running in the yard or jump off the couch for no apparent reason. It was like he was being spooked and had no control over it.

I felt anxious and afraid because I thought he might bite me. I stayed away from him, gave him his space, and didn’t pet him for a week. That was really hard as I love to hold and pet him. We were concerned he might snap and bite someone who came to the house. We didn’t know if he was in pain when we touched him or if it was a neurological issue. We were led to start him on CBD oil for animals.

We were at our wit ends when I shared with a friend about what was going on with Kobi. She said, “I just watched a podcast about animal communication last night that was really good. I will send you the link.”

I watched it the next day and found it quite fascinating and eye-opening. That same day, I shared with another friend what was going on with Kobi. She said, “I just signed up for a FREE 3-part animal communication course starting this week.” Animalthoughts.com

WE GET WHAT WE NEED WHEN WE NEED IT AND ARE READY TO RECEIVE IT!

Larry and I listened to the FREE animal communication course and are learning a great deal. I don’t understand it all, but am open to learning so I can communicate with Kobi and what he needs.

Animal communicators are trained to tune in and connect energetically (telepathically) so they can hear the animal’s thoughts and converse with them and they can share their concerns and their innermost thoughts and feelings. Research suggests that animals do experience emotions like joy, anger, and grief. They also feel pain and experience stress.

Dogs communicate through body language—baring their teeth, wagging their tail, panting, looking into your eyes with an intensity that can only mean “PLEASE. I NEED TO PEE!!!!!!!!!!!!”—and respond to subtle human cues in a way that can make it seem like they’re reading your mind.

In the first course with the animal communicator, she guided us through a meditation and showed us how to listen to our pets and hear what they needed.

When I connected energetically with Kobi he said “I’m angry and hurt because you stopped taking me for my walks in the afternoon. It’s important to spend time with you.” He was right, I had stopped taking him for walks about a month ago because it was hot in the afternoon and I just didn’t feel like going out. Animals are very sensitive and can pick up on our energy.   

My son had some great suggestions to gain back trust with Kobi that were helpful. Between implementing his suggestions, praying and sending love to Kobi, the CBD oil, and the FREE animal communication classes, things are improving here. He hasn’t growled or snapped at me or Larry for over a week now.

I’m back to taking Kobi for walks and spending special time together. For the past week, Kobi has been back to his loving self, kissing me and allowing me to pet him and sit with him. God is good!

I’m so grateful that I was guided to learn about animal communication and will continue to learn and grow. We are always learning and growing in this Earth school.

Pre-birth planning

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Jul
21

I was at peace and had forgiven my father for sexually abusing me when I was a young girl when he passed away 25 years ago. It took me 3 years to forgive him. When I went into therapy to deal with suppressed memories of the abuse, I had no idea how long it would take.

After the first session with the therapist, I said, “I am ready to forgive him, I know he was drunk.” She looked at me and said, “You are not ready to forgive. It’s important you allow yourself to go through the grief process and feel all of your feelings.”

I didn’t want to feel sadness, anger, and depression. I wanted to forgive and get it over with. I knew that forgiveness was for me, not the other person. If I wanted to be free and peaceful, forgiveness was my answer.

I’m so grateful I listened to my therapist and allowed myself to go through the grief process. I couldn’t rush it or make it go any faster. I had to FEEL it all and it wasn’t pretty.  

I remember exactly where I was when I heard Spirit say, “It’s time to forgive your dad.” I was really scared to call him after not having any contact with him for 3 years. With the grace of God and my willingness to forgive, I made the phone call and then visited him in Florida. Although I had forgiven him and felt peace in my heart after he died, I didn’t feel his presence or connection to him. I felt detached from him, until NOW.

A friend recommended a book that has shifted my perspective and made a profound shift in my consciousness. It is not for the faint of heart.  It’s called, “Your Soul’s Plan: Discovering the real meaning of the life you planned before you were born” by Robert Schwartz.

Schwartz writes, “Love is the primary theme of pre-birth planning. Each soul is motivated by a desire to give and receive love, even in those instances when a soul has agreed to play a “negative” role to stimulate another soul’s growth.  We are not being punished by God and we are not victims when we experience tragedy, sickness, trauma, or addictions. So many people blame God when tragic things occur, to us or to those we care about. It is empowering to know that OUR OWN SOULS decide on our major “happenings” that will help us grow and elevate our souls.” 

I knew deep in my heart that before I came into form (the premise of this book) that God and I had agreed on what challenges and experiences I would encounter for my soul to grow and EXPAND. Challenges are for the purpose of soul advancement, sometimes individually and sometimes collectively.

This book has opened me up to a deeper understanding of the life challenges I’ve experienced and what I needed to learn (and still learning) on this life journey.  We have free will and can say no to the pre-birth planning while in form.

As I am “awakening” and going within, I am remembering the truth that I ASKED & AGREED for these life experiences before I came into form. Knowing this, I am free to choose a different response; rather than being a victim and feeling anger, hatred, and blame, I am saying thank you. I had a choice to become bitter and resentful or to recognize that the experience, though painful, was a magnificent opportunity for me to experience self-love, self-care, self-responsibility, and self-appreciation.

·        My father expressed love for me by providing the experience I ASKED for. Thank you for caring enough about me to play a role that was difficult for you.

·         Thank you for keeping your promise and honoring our pre-birth contract.

·         I am choosing GRATITUDE to all those who most challenged me and helped my soul to grow and expand.

Rather than judging another’s journey because it looks different from mine or what I would do, I am invited to honor and respect the path of those I love.

Whenever we judge, it separates us from those we judge. Separation creates fear and prevents us from awakening to a truth we knew before we were born; that we are all ONE and that we are all a spark of the Divine. To judge is to separate ourselves from our divinity; to release judgment is to remember it.

Author Byron Katie writes, “Everything happens for you, not to you” because we choose everything that happens for us–it is all part of our life’s plan. Realizing and accepting this can bring understanding and great peace.”

Are you being too nice?

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Jul
21

When I stopped to chat with my neighbor on my walk, she asked, “Did Walter (the homeless man that was displaced) get on the plane? With the help of the angels, it truly was a miracle that he made it to Arizona to be with his brother. We were all grateful and relieved.

As we chatted, I laughed and said, “I think I need to write another book on how to retire, have fun, play, and enjoy life.” After a lifetime of busyness and stress with raising kids, working full-time as an Alcohol and Drug therapist, and completing a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree, I was exhausted.

My neighbor said, “I have so many “shoulds” in my life and feel guilty when I’m reading the paper, thinking I should be doing something productive. I remembered when I became aware that my life was full of “shoulds” my mantra became I WILL NOT SHOULD ON MYSELF.

I said “YES” to everybody that asked me to do something for them. I often anticipated what others needed before they even asked for my help. For example: Do you need a ride or a babysitter?

When I consistently said YES to others, ultimately, I was saying NO to myself. This is not self-care or self-love, but self-abuse and self-abandonment. It was uncomfortable at first when I started to practice saying NO. I felt guilty because I wanted others to like and love me and didn’t want to disappoint anyone.

Learning to say NO to others has been one of the greatest gifts I have given  myself and it gives permission to the ones I love to say NO.

Learning to relax, enjoy life, play, and have fun without all the “shoulds” and not feeling guilty about not “doing enough” has been a 10-year process. Letting go of my addiction to busyness, rushing, planning, and achieving was a conscious decision and choice.

When I moved to Maui 10½ years ago, I intended to continue to do what I did in Rhode Island: life coaching, inspirational speaking, workshops, and retreats.  God had another plan and I’m grateful I listened. I heard Spirit say after only one week of living here, “I don’t want you to do anything, I want you to learn how to BE.”  I was surprised because I thought I knew how to BE after being a therapist for 20 years and all the inner work I had done. For several years, I didn’t do any coaching, speaking, or retreats.

Instead of pushing, rushing, striving, and planning, I have learned to RELAX, go with the FLOW, live in joy, enjoy my life, and BE. I take long walks, swim in the ocean and pool, go out to lunch with friends, spend time with Larry, sit on my swing, watch the sunset, dance, paint, and go from pleasure to pleasure. My motto is, “I want to live my life to the fullest because I’m not promised tomorrow.” If not now, WHEN?

One of my coaching clients recently asked me, “Do you think you can be too NICE?” I said, “YES.” When we are too NICE to others at the expense of ourselves or despite our own needs not being met, it is a cry for self-love.

There was a time I was too NICE because I didn’t love myself and looked outside for external validation, rather than internal self-esteem. It was never enough. Only I can give myself the love and attention I crave and need. I am the ONE I have been waiting for you are the ONE you have been waiting for.

Here are some symptoms that you may be too NICE

·        You give expecting to get something in return

·        You OVERGIVE as a way to manipulate others to get what you want

·        You believe that if you’re nice, everyone will love you

·        You believe you need to do everything perfectly

·        You avoid conflict as much as you can

·        You seek external validation & approval

·        You have toxic shame you try to hide

·        You’re afraid to ask others for what you need

·        You have a victim mentality and blame others for your unhappiness

·        You feel resentment, frustrated, and discouraged your needs aren’t met

·        You feel guilty when you say NO

I am grateful that I am living my purpose by shining my light and keeping my vibration high in LOVE and gratitude. It is my intention to love and be loved, to live in joy, to be happy, to be of service, and stay connected to Source.

Can you forgive without an apology?

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Jul
21

 Are you aware of how your ego shows up and how it robs you of your peace? My ego shows up in many ways. I’m grateful that I recognize it and get back into the truth of who I am as a child of God and into my heart.

It “shows up” when I compare, compete, control, blame, shame, judge, feel guilty, afraid, unforgiving, jealous, or better or less than. I had no idea how ego played such a huge part in my life for many years.

I wasn’t “conscious” as I am today and how I allowed ego to rob me of my peace. I didn’t know we are all connected and ONE and that everything and everyone is a projection of what’s inside of me. Marianne Williamson states “The ego is the fear-based self or shadow. We are either hostage to ego or host to God.” 

I had an experience this week of ego rearing its head by being triggered. Fortunately, I spotted my ego almost immediately and asked Spirit for help to change my “story” and perspective. Today, I see triggers as a gift from God showing me where I still need inner healing from my past.

There was a time when I judged and beat up on myself when I was triggered. Not anymore because I know when I’m triggered it is an unhealed part of me that’s coming up to be transformed and healed.

When I’m in the middle of being triggered and my emotions are out of control, I may not recognize immediately that I am being triggered. Whenever I’m reacting “strongly” to something in the present that doesn’t warrant such strong emotions, it’s often a trigger from my past.

My friend, Nancy, who is vacationing on Maui came to our home for dinner. Larry and I shared how grateful we were to be living here in our beautiful home and that our landlord hasn’t raised the rent in 8 years. Larry said, “Our landlord appreciates us especially since prior tenants destroyed the place and didn’t keep the place clean.” His next comment seemed to come out of nowhere and surprised Nancy and me. He said something like, “like us, we don’t clean.” Are you kidding me?

Of course, he was only kidding, but it triggered me big time and I froze. I felt embarrassed, insulted, shocked, and angry. When Nancy left, I calmly said to Larry, “I felt embarrassed when you said that about not cleaning. What did you mean?” He kind of brushed me off and minimized my feelings. I wanted Larry to acknowledge what he said and apologize for his behavior.

Instead of blowing up as I have in the past and reacting, I went to the bedroom and journaled my feelings without holding anything back. As I journaled my feelings, it became clear that the strong feelings weren’t about what Larry said, but about being in a marriage of 30 years when my husband was passive-aggressive and often put me down in front of others. I was surprised since I had forgiven my ex many years ago and didn’t have any ill feelings toward him. I wrote and used (EFT) Emotional Freedom Tapping until I felt peaceful and able to go to sleep.

When I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, the first thing that came to mind was what happened and how angry I felt. I knew it was my ego trying to keep me stuck and angry.

As I was falling back to sleep, I heard Spirit clearly say, “Can you forgive without an apology?” Wow, that was deep! With the grace of God and my willingness to let go of anger and forgive, I said YES. When I woke up in the morning, I had no “residue” of resentment from the night before. I had done my inner work and was free.

Larry takes Kobi out for an early walk before I wake up in the morning. When he returned from his walk, we greeted one another with a hug and he immediately said, “I apologize for what I said at dinner last night. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

I believe that everything happens for a reason and for my highest good. If I want to be the best and highest version of myself so I can love and serve Spirit, I must be willing to take responsibility and heal the wounded parts of myself that have been buried inside of me. It’s a process and things come up to be healed when we are ready to let go and surrender.

The truth about aging

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Jul
21

I received a quote from a friend this week that stirred something within me. We are all growing older and with the grace of God, we will age gracefully, peacefully, and joyfully.

“Speak to your children as if they were the wisest, kindest, most beautiful, and magical humans on the earth, for what they BELIEVE they will BECOME.”

What came to me when I read it is that we first have to BELIEVE and speak it to ourselves before we can BECOME it and speak it to our children. I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t taught how to love, appreciate, trust, or believe in myself.

I went even deeper. I thought about what it would be like if our children spoke to us as if we were the wisest, kindest, most beautiful, and magical humans on the earth.  Wouldn’t it be great, instead of the “ageism” beliefs that we don’t have anything to offer as we age and feel devalued by a society that favors the youth?  

We need to teach our children (and everyone) how to treat us and what we need as we age. At every age, we want love, respect, patience, kindness, understanding and to be heard, but need this especially as we age. Our children need to know we will repeat ourselves and forget what we were talking about or even the date without being shamed or corrected.

A friend of mine sent me a book called, “Don’t Call Me Old I’m Just Awakening” by Marsha Sinetar. The book has expanded my perspective of “old age.” Rather than “old age”, she calls it “advanced age.”

Sinetar writes, “We want to be treated like an adult. And I think sometimes our children don’t mean to treat us like children. I think they just want to keep us alive as long as possible. Sometimes our love and concern can manifest in ways that are frustrating or even demeaning to our parents.”

I didn’t realize that prior to reading the book, I was slowly buying into some of the cultural beliefs about aging: older people are frail, dependent, out of touch with what’s going on in the world, “over the hill” and don’t have anything to offer any more. There are some cultures that “honor” the elderly for their wisdom and life experiences, but unfortunately, it is not so in the west.

These “ageism” beliefs are farthest from the truth. I needed to change my thinking and not lose confidence at this crucial time in my life. With God, I can expect favorable results and remain healthy, independent, creative, and productive through life.

To age successfully, we must focus on meaning, purpose, and the intention to live life to the fullest, using our gifts and wisdom to serve the world. The key to aging is to not mourn what’s lost but to CELEBRATE the time we have left. My motto is to live my life to the fullest, for I am not promised tomorrow.

The truth about aging is that every year we grow inwardly stronger and can reclaim and celebrate the wisdom and spiritual intelligence that only comes with age. When we commune with God and understand our ONENESS, we know we are LOVE and loved.

Sinetar writes. “Who and how we were when younger is who and how we will be when older if we develop our SOVEREIGNTY and spiritual hardiness born of our union with Divine Love. How we live our lives can reflect how we die.”  As I age, I require more solitude and quiet time. I love reading, relaxing and just BEING.

I was guided to write a list of 30 practices to continue living my life to the fullest and aging with peace, ease, and grace. Here are the top 7.

·        I will continue to deepen my relationship with Divine Love/Source/God by going within for my answers through meditation, prayer, and journaling.

·        I will continue to do what I enjoy that gives me pleasure and makes me happy and joyful like writing, walking, playing, reading, sitting on my swing and going to the ocean.

·        I will delete negativity, drama, and talking about problems. I will focus on the good, rather than what’s missing.

·        I will keep my vibration high in gratitude and love so I may shine my light wherever I go.

·        I will accept “what is” as if I had chosen it.

·        I will choose love instead of fear and listen to the Spirit within instead of the egoic voice.

·        I will feel all of my feelings instead of a spiritual bypass.

I encourage you to go within and celebrate where you are in life and to know it gets better and better each day with Divine Love.

Stepping out in Faith

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Jul
21

As I stepped on the winding path overlooking the ocean and felt the ocean breeze and sun on my face, I gasped as my heart expanded into sheer gratitude. With tears in my eyes, I said, “OMG I live here, HOW and WHY did I get here?”

The “HOW” was God’s doing, much bigger than what I could have ever imagined. I had no idea HOW to make it happen. The “WHY” was my doing. For as long as I can remember, it was my dream and desire of my heart to live on the water, but never did I expect that I would be living in a house overlooking the ocean on Maui. I believe it is God who places the desires in our hearts.

At the ripe young age of 65, I stepped out in faith to follow my heart and moved 5,000 miles away to Maui, despite family thinking I was crazy. I had never done anything that radical.

Stepping out in faith is stepping into the unknown and the mystery. Very difficult for those of us who want control and answers before we make a move. We like to know what’s ahead so we can feel safe.

Was it easy to leave my family, friends, community, and work? Hell no! I struggled and prayed A LOT. There were so many questions I had. Could I afford it? What would my family think? What if I got sick, who would take care of me?  

As I meditated, it became clear that I didn’t feel deserving to live in one of the most beautiful places in the world. I had to work through old beliefs and messages to get to the truth of who I was and God’s plan for my life.

Does being a woman of faith mean that I didn’t have fear? Hell no! I was riddled with fear. While writing my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” in 2007, I cried myself to sleep because I was so afraid of writing a book. I felt inadequate and in over my head. At one point, I said to God, “I’m not doing it, you have chosen the wrong person.” I didn’t write for one year. I’m so grateful God was patient with me until I was ready to face my fear and ask for help.

With the grace of God, and my willingness to trust I was being guided, I took action and moved forward, instead of staying stuck and paralyzed in fear.

Don Basham, author of “How Guides Us”, states, “Guidance comes when we move in faith, not sit in doubt-even in the face of closed doors. Where God guides, He provides. God reveals each part of the plan as we walk in faith one step at a time.”

If I hadn’t had the courage to face my fears, my dream would have died inside of me and I wouldn’t be living this amazing life of LOVE. God’s plan was already in place, I just needed the courage to say YES. God always has bigger and better plans than we could ever imagine.

Here is what my faith walk looked like:

I didn’t have a place to live until two weeks before I arrived on Maui. It was my trust and faith that assured me I would be provided for. I rented a bedroom overlooking the ocean for $300 a month with another couple (whom I had just met) for 6 months. Everything I owned was in that one bedroom and I was in my glory. 

After six months, I moved to the other side of the island to rent a new ohana. It was small, but it was mine and I loved it. I lived there for one year until the landlord renovated and I was asked to leave.

I was “homeless” for one month until the ohana I have been living in for the past eight years was available. During that time, friends opened their homes and hearts for me to stay with them. Another friend allowed me to store all of my “stuff” in a bedroom she wasn’t using.

I stepped out in faith and trusted God would provide financially. My rent went from $1200 a month to $2500. I rented one of the bedrooms to friends in our home and every month the money showed up. Now Larry and I share the rent and it works out perfectly.

How often do WE block our own good and God’s plan for us because we are afraid, don’t feel deserving, or don’t have any idea HOW to do it?  Remember the HOW is not up to us, but up to God.

Spirit may be inviting you to start a new business or career, leave an unhealthy relationship or job, start a creative project or move to Maui!

God only wants our highest good and for us to be happy. What is the desire of your heart? God placed that desire in your heart. It’s up to you to say YES and to trust you will be provided for and guided. Take that first step and watch the miracles unfold.

What are you choosing: Love or fear

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Jul
21

My friend, Sandy, and I met at the beach this week. One of the first things she said was, “I read your blog last week.” I said, “Yes, what about it?” She said, “It’s hard to believe what you experienced with your mother and came out the way you have.” I smiled and said, “Yes, and more than that, I’m THRIVING and not just surviving.”

Despite all of the turmoil and stress that is going on in the world, today my life is filled with love, peace, light, gratitude, kindness, joy, relaxation, and enjoyment. I have chosen to “rise above” the battleground and trust in the divine presence within.

Instead of always DOING, I am learning to BE. I listen to my body and don’t push myself or stay busy to avoid unresolved feelings from my childhood. Busyness was my addiction. The busier I was, the better I felt about myself and more successful. I looked good on the outside, but inside I struggled with not feeling good enough and comparing myself to others.  

To THRIVE, I did shadow work, deep inner child work of releasing all the beliefs that didn’t serve my highest good. I recognized the egoic voice that always tried to rob me of my peace. The ego is the part of us that tries to control everything so that we feel safe. The ego makes us feel separate from each other and God. When we see others as different from ourselves, it creates an illusion of separation, creating a sense of lack and scarcity. It leads to competition rather than cooperation; it leads to judgment rather than acceptance; it leads to fear rather than love; it leads to hate rather than forgiveness.

Growing up my father’s favorite saying was, “FIND YOURSELF.” Although it was important to him, I don’t think he had any idea what it meant and neither did I. Unfortunately, he was lost in his alcoholism and died before finding himself.

FINDING MYSELF means finding the God/Love/Source within and knowing I am ONE with God and ONE with my brothers and sisters. My journey has been about finding myself, knowing myself, and BEING myself.  

KNOWING MYSELF means knowing what I want and don’t want. It’s knowing what brings me peace and happiness. It’s knowing my strengths and weaknesses. It’s knowing what motivates me and brings me joy. It’s knowing I am love and a divine spark in the world.  It’s knowing my purpose to keep my vibration high in love and gratitude and shine my light into the world. When I’m not in alignment with my true self, I suffer. I feel disconnected and as if something is missing.

BEING MYSELF means that I stand in my own truth and follow my heart. It means being authentic, vulnerable, and honest. When I follow my heart, things begin to align and come together. I find my true self and start to live from that place.

One of my greatest joys (other than spending time with family and friends) is walking the ocean path every morning and greeting people as they pass by. I feel my LIGHT shining as I smile and look in their eyes and say, “Good morning.” As I shine my light, I invite others to shine their light. People feel the energy of Maui which I believe is LOVE.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is to TRUST and SURRENDER to God’s will. I am learning to go “within” for all of my answers, rather than looking outside for someone to tell me what to do or how to live my life. Trusting Spirit means letting go of control and how I think things should go or not go.

I remember that everything is already planned in the mind of God. I relax and let go of fear because I know God has my back. When I feel afraid about something in the future, instead of staying in fear, I CHOOSE LOVE. The truth is there is only this present moment, there is no past or future.

Worrying is an illusion and a waste of precious time and energy. It takes more life force energy to stay in the vibration of worry/fear (low vibe) than it does to believe in the power of possibility and miracles (high vibe). Worrying doesn’t change anything, but trusting in God changes EVERYTHING.

What are you choosing today? Love or fear. It’s your choice. If not NOW, when?

I freed my children

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Jul
21

I received a beautiful Mother’s Day gift from Spirit, along with flowers and calls from my children and friends. I look forward to the month of May as it has always been a powerful month of transformation and deep healing.

I had a “light bulb” go off or a shift in consciousness. Do you ever wonder why it takes so long sometimes to “get it” and change beliefs, conditioning, and dysfunctional patterns that cause suffering and no longer serve your highest good? 

My ego is “vicious” (especially obsessing in the middle of the night) and tries to rob me of my peace and new freedom when there has been a breakthrough or shift in consciousness. Can you relate?

Have you heard of the saying “What other people think of me or how they treat me is none of my business?” Of course, we have choices to stay in a situation or to leave if we are being abused. I knew this in my head, but it’s taken a while for it to travel to my heart and set me FREE.

I knew that I wasn’t responsible for another’s behavior and their behavior wasn’t my fault, but in my heart, I felt disappointed, sad, and angry when I thought my needs weren’t met. I didn’t think I was lovable, good enough, or loved when I felt ignored, discounted, or rejected, especially by my children.

How can we change if we aren’t aware of the patterns, distorted beliefs, and egoic voices that play havoc in our minds? We have lived all our lives with these beliefs and we believe they are true. They have become so familiar that we just “go there” without thinking about it until we wake up and see the truth of who we are as LOVE and a divine being having a spiritual experience.

Whenever my children didn’t love me or “show up” the way I wanted and expected them to, I blamed myself and thought I must have done something wrong, and it was my fault. I then tried harder to get them to love me and give me what I thought I wanted and needed. When a friend didn’t return a text or phone call and I felt ignored, I racked my brains out trying to figure out what I did wrong.

Another person’s behavior is about them and not me. When I remember to say, “It’s their stuff, not mine” when I feel hurt or ignored, I free myself. It doesn’t mean that they are wrong and I am right. There is no right or wrong, good or bad. It just is and we all have different perspectives and everyone is doing the best they can.

Because of my childhood and unmet emotional needs, I unconsciously thought my children would heal and complete me. I used my children to feel better about myself and used their achievements as a means of self-validation. My children (or spouse) cannot make me feel whole, happy, or successful, or give me the love to feel like I belong. That’s up to me to give to myself.

As I free my children from the responsibility to fill and complete me, I model to them ways they can love and fill themselves. I no longer expect my children to elevate me and make me feel less alone. I free them to pursue their dreams and life purpose.

Here is the process I use when I feel hurt, angry, ignored, or disappointed by a loved one’s behavior.

·       I surrender and accept “what is” (because it happened)

·       I feel my feelings & don’t do a “spiritual bypass”

·       I don’t take it personally

·       I detach emotionally and let go of the outcome

·       I forgive and let go of judgments

·       I CHOOSE LOVE and send love to the person who hurt me

I’m no longer afraid to be myself, to be authentic and “show up” for life. I don’t look outside for others to love me or make me happy because I have learned to give it to myself. Happiness is an inside job.

I take responsibility for myself and no longer expect my children or husband to make me happy. I no longer need to protect myself because I’m safe and protected by Spirit. I am no longer afraid to love and be loved and I allow others to do the same.

Thank you, Spirit, for the gift of shifting my consciousness The truth has set me free.

My ego reared its head

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
May
3

 Are you aware of how your ego shows up and how it robs you of your peace? My ego shows up in many ways. I’m grateful that I recognize it and get back into the truth of who I am as a child of God and into my heart.

It “shows up” when I compare, compete, control, blame, shame, judge, feel guilty, afraid, unforgiving, jealous, or better or less than. I had no idea how ego played such a huge part in my life for many years.

I wasn’t “conscious” as I am today and how I allowed ego to rob me of my peace. I didn’t know we are all connected and ONE and that everything and everyone is a projection of what’s inside of me. Marianne Williamson states “The ego is the fear-based self or shadow. We are either hostage to ego or host to God.” 

I had an experience this week of ego rearing its head by being triggered. Fortunately, I spotted my ego almost immediately and asked Spirit for help to change my “story” and perspective. Today, I see triggers as a gift from God showing me where I still need inner healing from my past.

There was a time when I judged and beat up on myself when I was triggered. Not anymore because I know when I’m triggered it is an unhealed part of me that’s coming up to be transformed and healed.

When I’m in the middle of being triggered and my emotions are out of control, I may not recognize immediately that I am being triggered. Whenever I’m reacting “strongly” to something in the present that doesn’t warrant such strong emotions, it’s often a trigger from my past.

My friend, Nancy, who is vacationing on Maui came to our home for dinner. Larry and I shared how grateful we were to be living here in our beautiful home and that our landlord hasn’t raised the rent in 8 years. Larry said, “Our landlord appreciates us especially since prior tenants destroyed the place and didn’t keep the place clean.” His next comment seemed to come out of nowhere and surprised Nancy and me. He said something like, “like us, we don’t clean.” Are you kidding me?

Of course, he was only kidding, but it triggered me big time and I froze. I felt embarrassed, insulted, shocked, and angry. When Nancy left, I calmly said to Larry, “I felt embarrassed when you said that about not cleaning. What did you mean?” He kind of brushed me off and minimized my feelings. I wanted Larry to acknowledge what he said and apologize for his behavior.

Instead of blowing up as I have in the past and reacting, I went to the bedroom and journaled my feelings without holding anything back. As I journaled my feelings, it became clear that the strong feelings weren’t about what Larry said, but about being in a marriage of 30 years when my husband was passive-aggressive and often put me down in front of others. I was surprised since I had forgiven my ex many years ago and didn’t have any ill feelings toward him. I wrote and used (EFT) Emotional Freedom Tapping until I felt peaceful and able to go to sleep.

When I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, the first thing that came to mind was what happened and how angry I felt. I knew it was my ego trying to keep me stuck and angry.

As I was falling back to sleep, I heard Spirit clearly say, “Can you forgive without an apology?” Wow, that was deep! With the grace of God and my willingness to let go of anger and forgive, I said YES. When I woke up in the morning, I had no “residue” of resentment from the night before. I had done my inner work and was free.

Larry takes Kobi out for an early walk before I wake up in the morning. When he returned from his walk, we greeted one another with a hug and he immediately said, “I apologize for what I said at dinner last night. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

I believe that everything happens for a reason and for my highest good. If I want to be the best and highest version of myself so I can love and serve Spirit, I must be willing to take responsibility and heal the wounded parts of myself that have been buried inside of me. It’s a process and things come up to be healed when we are ready to let go and surrender.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
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