Do you need an apology to forgive someone who has abused or hurt you? Unfortunately, you may be waiting your whole life for that apology.
Many of us spend our whole lives waiting for someone to apologize or take responsibility for their actions and how they hurt us before we decide to let go and forgive.
I’m not saying that it’s wrong to want someone to take responsibility and apologize for their actions. It’s important to set boundaries and not allow others to treat us poorly. It’s easier to forgive when someone does take responsibility and apologizes for their behavior. But what if they are not willing to apologize or they are deceased? Where does that leave us?
The problem with that scenario is that we have put someone else in charge of how and when we heal. If we truly want to break a cycle and heal, we have to let go of what the other person did or didn’t do.
Forgiveness is for me, not the other person. To forgive is to set a prisoner free only to discover that the prisoner is ME. I’m not condoning another’s actions; I am forgiving because I want to set myself FREE.
I have always believed in forgiveness. Forgiveness is a process, sometimes quick and easy and sometimes long and painful. It took me 3 years to forgive my father who sexually abused me when I was a young girl.
I wanted to forgive him right away when I went into therapy as memories started to surface about the sexual abuse. I wanted to get it over with and didn’t want to feel the pain deep inside.
I’m grateful that I had a wise therapist who guided me, and held my hand and heart as I experienced deep grief, anger, betrayal, and sadness before I reached acceptance and forgiveness. With the grace of God and my willingness to move on, I forgave my father and didn’t need or receive an apology. That is the grace of God for sure. What was important was that I was free of resentment, blame, anger, and feeling like a victim.
Again, forgiveness is for me and not the person I’m forgiving. I forgave a teacher and a priest who sexually abused me in grade school. I never received an apology from them either.
Although I never received an acknowledgment for the abuse from the priest, I sued the Catholic church and won. It felt empowering to stand up and speak my truth and be heard.
Is there anyone in your life who you are having difficulty forgiving? Give yourself the time you need and don’t forgive prematurely because you don’t want to feel the pain and grief inside. Ask Spirit to help you forgive and show you the way. When you are unable or unwilling to forgive, you will not find lasting peace and happiness.
It’s not only others who hurt us that we are invited to forgive. But what about you? Where have you hurt yourself and need to forgive yourself? I had to forgive myself for staying in a marriage for 30 years because I didn’t believe in myself and didn’t think I could make it on my own.
I forgave myself for “self-induced” suffering for years of taking things personally and feeling responsible for others’ well- being, instead of my own. In my head, I knew that what others did or didn’t do was about them and not me.
It has finally reached my heart and it feels so good to set myself free from beliefs that never served me. What others do or don’t do, especially family members, is none of my business. It’s their journey and they have their lessons to learn, as I have mine.
I’ve been meditating on this Hawaiian method of apology and forgiveness for years. Ho’oponopono is a centuries-old native Hawaiian method of apology and forgiveness. The four steps in ho’oponopono are remorse, forgiveness, gratitude, and love. Ho’oponopono can be used in person, if the relationship seems irreparable, or if the other person has passed away. It offers methods of creating positive effects in everyday life. This simple four-step system encourages us to focus on difficult conflicts within personal relationships and heal the past. By addressing these issues, owning one’s feelings, and accepting unconditional love, unhealthy situations transform into favorable experiences
Happy New Year. My prayer for 2023 is that we all be open to receive more love, peace, health, joy and happiness into our lives. It is our birthright and what Spirit wants for us. Are you open and ready to receive and let go of what no longer serves you?
I can’t believe that I have been living on Maui for 11 years this January. It is my intention to keep my vibration high and live in love and gratitude every day. I asked my son, Tim, many years ago when I moved to Maui, “How did I get here?” He said, “Mom, as long as I can remember you said you were going to live on the water.”
I never dreamed that I would be living in a beautiful home overlooking the ocean with a man that loves me deeply and I love him with all my heart.
Spirit had a bigger vision and plan for my life than I could have ever imagined. I just kept stepping out in faith, (even when I felt afraid) saying “yes” and following my heart. God’s plans are not our plans. They’re always BETTER, always BIGGER and always LONG-LASTING.
To prepare for the new year, I asked myself another question. “How did I get to this place of PEACE and contentment deep in my heart and to experience Christ’s presence within and without?” Peace is the ego’s greatest enemy and wants us to believe we are separate and alone. It wants us to compare, compete, and control.
Here is WHAT I did to experience the peace that passes all understanding:
My dad’s favorite saying was, FIND YOURSELF. I’m not sure he knew what it meant, but I REMEMBERED it for years. I’ve added KNOW YOURSELF & BE YOURSELF.
The search to FIND MYSELF is OVER. I found myself and I’m HOME. I’m home to myself and home to the Spirit within. We are walking each other home to the truth of who we are. We are LOVE. We are LIGHT. We are ONE. We are His PRESENCE.
I’m no longer looking “outside” of myself for love, peace, recognition, and happiness because everything I need is inside of me.
I found this quote this week which resonated deeply within me and touched my heart.
“The more we heal, the smaller our inner circle becomes. It’s not because we don’t want connection or don’t want to love. It’s because we have a transformed relationship with ourselves. We crave time alone and have a heightened awareness of who will further our healing and who will not.”
I asked myself, “What does a transformed relationship with myself mean?”
Spirit said, “It means the truth. You are never alone. You are enough. You are LOVE. You are LIGHT. You are ONE with God and your brother. Everything is in Divine order and planned. Nothing outside of yourself (fame, wealth, recognition, spouse, home) will bring you the peace you are seeking within.
It has taken me 76 years to get to the place of TRUTH and PEACE and not to be controlled by the ego’s lies and illusions. It doesn’t mean that I’m not aware of the problems in the world, it is that I’m detached to what I can’t control.
Love is the most powerful energy in the world. Love is my super power. Love is all there is. It is blissful, it is heaven, and it is REAL. Will you join me and make 2023 the best year ever?
Do you believe your loved ones who have transitioned want to communicate with you and send you signs that they are happy and free? I’ve shared that my only brother transitioned a few days before Thanksgiving this year. I have been asking for signs to feel his presence.
Larry and I went out for lunch on Christmas Eve to our favorite restaurant. I was shocked when I noticed a white feather tucked in the compartment of the car door. I didn’t put it there and didn’t know how it got there. I looked at Larry and said, “I think this is a sign from my brother.”
I checked google for the spiritual significance of finding feathers. It said, “The most common meaning is that a loved one is watching over you, especially if they died recently. It is to bring you comfort. It is believed that the feathers drop from the wings of angels.”
Here is what happened when my dad died 25 years ago:
My dad was dying of cancer. I lived out of state and hadn’t seen him for several months. My stepmom warned me that he had lost 30 pounds in a month and was frail. I didn’t want to stare when I saw him for the first time. I remember my dad as strong and active, playing golf every day before he got sick.
“God, is this going to be the last time I see him before he dies?” I wondered. I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and that I was going to miss him. When we were alone, I got up the nerve and asked him “Are you afraid to die?” He answered, “I don’t want to talk about it.” He wasn’t ready to admit he was dying, but I knew he didn’t have much time left.
He could no longer stay at home as his illness progressed. While in the hospital, the doctors tried to keep him alive with more operations and procedures. My stepmom couldn’t accept he was dying. While the doctors discussed yet another procedure at his bedside, he looked up at my stepmom, and the doctors and screamed. “Leave me alone, I want to go home.” A few hours later he passed away peacefully with her at his side.
When the phone rang that morning, I knew it was the call that I had been dreading. I walked around my house in a daze, not wanting to believe he was dead. God, I’m alone now, with both mom and dad dead.
I took a walk and looked up at the sky and said, “God, please allow me to feel my dad ‘s presence.”
I dragged myself to the consignment shop to look for a dress to wear for the funeral. I couldn’t concentrate and half-heartedly looked through the rack of clothes, trying to find a dress. “Honey” by Bobby Goldsboro began to play on the radio. My mother died when I was 21 years old and her name was Honey. A few months after her death, the song “Honey” was released.
I stood frozen in place for a few minutes, then put my hands in my face and sobbed. The owner of the shop walked over to me and asked, “Are you ok?” I blurted out through sobs and tears that my father had just died. I explained to her the significance of the song Honey that had just played on the radio. She reached out and touched my shoulder, as I took a few deep breaths to calm myself.
Five minutes later, the song, “Daddy’s Little Girl” came on the radio. My dad often sang that song to me, and it always brought tears to my eyes. Everyone cried when he held me in his arms on my wedding day and we danced to “Daddy’s Little Girl.” God answered my prayer to feel my dad‘s presence hearing the songs only a few hours after he passed away.
I found a dress or shall I say the dress found me. As I paid and prepared to leave the shop, “You Are My Special Angel” began to play on the radio. My grandmother called me an angel. Within a half hour, I heard 3 songs that touched my heart from my mother, father, and grandmother.
When we believe and are open to receiving messages from the other side from our loved ones who have transitioned, they will send us signs to reassure us that they are happy and free.
Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah to friends and family. Although the holidays can be difficult for many who have lost loved ones this year, may the Christ Presence comfort you and bring you love, peace, hope, and joy.
Have you heard that friends and lovers can enter your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime? When someone shows up for a reason, it is to meet a need through a difficult time or to provide guidance physically, emotionally, or spiritually.
Often, without any wrongdoing on your part, the person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. We realize that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done and it is time to move on. It’s painful when friends disappear with no explanation or reason and it’s important to grieve the loss.
I wasn’t expecting the sadness and tears as I sat to meditate and pray one morning this week. I allowed myself to feel all of my feelings as I know to feel is to heal. I was sending love and peace to my brother’s family as it was the day he was buried and put to rest at the VA cemetery. I know where my brother is and I am at peace since he is no longer suffering and in pain.
I was surprised when Spirit brought to mind several friends who are still alive but no longer in my life. As Spirit brought each person into my awareness, I remembered the love and support we had for one another. I sent them love and gratitude for helping me on my journey and for the opportunity to help and support them.
It is difficult when you think someone is going to be in your life for a lifetime, rather than just a season. I never dreamed it was possible that my best girlfriend for over 30 years would no longer be in my life. The love we shared was deep, authentic, and real. We shared deep secrets and trusted one another completely. It still hurts, although I have accepted that we are no longer aligned spiritually. No right or wrong, it just is. I accepted that the relationship had served its purpose. I allowed myself to remember the good times, the fun, and the love we shared with one another.
I searched my heart as Spirit brought to mind several other friends who were no longer a part of my life and had disappeared for reasons unknown to me. I connected with each one telepathically and in my heart and sent them love and gratitude.
I wanted to make sure that I didn’t harbor any resentment, anger, or judgment toward them. When I judge someone, I am judging myself as we are all ONE. Do you have someone in your life that has hurt or abandoned you for no reason? If so, is it time to let go of what no longer serves you and send them love?
I forgave myself for any unconscious behavior and for not being there for them as they needed me to be. I forgave them for not being there for me and disappearing without letting me know why. I cannot control what others do or don’t do because it’s their journey. I believe we are all doing the best we can in every moment.
We are SPIRIT living in a body or a costume. We are not our bodies. We are all connected and ONE. Although I have no contact with these friends anymore, I know we are connected in Spirit. That gives me peace. I don’t have to know why they are no longer in my life. All I have to know is that my side of the street is clean. I remember they will always be a part of me and I’m a part of them.
I’m grateful for the friends Spirit has brought into my life today. I feel richly blessed, loved, and supported. It’s all perfect and aligned. I trust the divine plan for my life and for each person who shows up for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
When I got divorced 25 years ago after being married for 30 years, I admit I was very “needy.” Although I had done years of healing and transformation on myself, I still felt scared and overwhelmed, as I now had to make many decisions on my own.
I remember how vulnerable I felt going to the bank and opening my own checking account. The teller was so kind and compassionate and walked me through the process that I needed to take.
I was divorced for 10 months when I met a man that I fell in love with and we were engaged for 2 years. He gave me lots of attention, gifts and love that I craved. He seemed to meet my every need, even before I needed it. I was in heaven and “intoxicated” until I wasn’t anymore. After a while, I felt smothered, manipulated, and controlled. I wanted to say to him, “Get a life.”
I’m grateful for the relationship and all the lessons I learned through a very difficult time in my life. I learned to “speak up” and “stand up” for myself. I now realize that his focus on me was a cry for love. If he loved me BIG, I would love him back. I relate to that because before I learned to love myself, I looked “outside” too for love and, of course, it was never enough.
Looking back, I realize we both were codependent and looked to one another to fill the hole in the soul that only Spirit can fill.
I have been thinking about “unconditional love” and what it means rather than to love with conditions. In my earlier life, I loved conditionally as my ego was running the show. If you loved me, I loved you back. If you didn’t love me, I withdrew and held a resentment. I also:
- Took things personally.
- Felt responsible for the welfare of others, especially family members.
- Believed I was right and had all the answers.
- Was attached to the outcome and results in many situations.
- Blamed myself when someone withdrew, ignored me, didn’t take my counsel, or treated me poorly.
I have always been a “helper.” I genuinely care about people and love to help and look for opportunities to be kind and loving. I went into the healing profession to help others. There’s nothing wrong with serving and helping others.
Something came up for me this week that was very deep that Spirit invited me to process. It was easy for me to recognize when I felt “needy.” It wasn’t that easy for me to admit that I wanted to feel “needed” to feel good about myself. In the past, I attracted “needy” people to make me feel worthy to be loved and build my self- esteem.
For several days, I counseled three friends who were struggling with serious health issues. When they seemingly “withdrew” for no reason and didn’t answer or respond to my texts, I felt some anxiety and asked myself,
- Is being “needy” and wanting to “be needed” from the same coin, just the opposite side?
- Was I addicted to feeling needed?
After praying and meditating on above, Spirit assured me that I wasn’t addicted to feeling needed. It was an opportunity to release an old belief “I need to be needed and wanted to feel love and worthy and deserving of others love.” This no longer served me and never has. The peace came when Spirit made me aware of the old belief and how to release it.
It is my desire to love unconditionally and purely. I am loving unconditionally when I no longer take things personally, am not attached to the outcome or result and don’t blame myself when someone withdraws or treats me unfairly. It’s about their journey and has nothing to do with me.
I look forward to my daily morning ritual with my cup of coffee when I go within to the present moment and connect with Spirit and myself. It is in the present moment that I feel peace, love, joy, and happiness. Nothing on the “outside” can disturb my peace when I’m living in the NOW. It has taken me years and lots of spiritual practice to get to this place of quiet
I love to sit on my swing, look out into the ocean, feel the warm breeze, and listen to the birds chirping. I feel the peace of God deep within as I sit quietly and meditate. I ask Spirit for a message and ask for guidance and protection for the day. I send out prayers and love to friends and loved ones, especially to those who are suffering in body, mind, and Spirit.
I don’t often remember my dreams. When I do remember, I pay attention as I know there will be a message that will enhance my life. I was surprised by the dream I had this week and wanted to dig deep to see what gem it held for me. It has been my experience that when I pay attention, God speaks to me through my dreams. I have worked with my dreams for years.
Here is my dream and how I worked through it.
My son and I were running to get to the parking lot so I wouldn’t miss the bus that would take me to the retreat I planned on attending. The bus had already left when we arrived. The next scene – I was in the hospital that I worked at years ago and I was running through the halls to find the unit I worked in, but couldn’t find it.
I asked myself some questions:
- Where in my life am I running to get some place?
- Where in my life do I feel lost?
- Why am I running?
- Do I think I will miss something if I don’t rush and run?
- What have I missed (bus) or afraid of missing?
I wondered if the running and feeling lost was old energy that needed releasing and no longer served me? When I’m running or rushing, I’m not living in the present moment, and therefore lose my peace. I’m not trusting the present moment will be enough.
Spirit showed me through the dream that I am often dissatisfied with the present moment and have a tendency to want to get to the next thing, event, or experience.
I am inviting you to an even deeper awareness and presence of me. Whenever you notice yourself wanting to rush or run and get to the next thing that you erroneously think will bring you peace, stop and say to yourself, BE HERE NOW. It’s not the next thing that will bring you peace, love, happiness and joy, but the present moment.
Since working with the dream and processing it, I am more aware when my mind is wandering and I’m not in the present moment. I keep repeating to myself, BE HERE NOW.
I love how Spirit confirms the messages I receive. I was with a friend a couple of days ago and hadn’t mentioned the dream or what I was practicing. We were leaving and she said, “I want to share some affirmations in songs with I listen to called Mantras in Love by Beautiful Chorus.
I listened the next day to the songs and the first song of affirmation was BE HERE NOW.
As I took my walk the day before Thanksgiving, I reflected on my first trip to Maui on Thanksgiving 13 years ago, and my brother’s death 2 days earlier. I wondered how I could feel so much peace when my brother had just transitioned. I knew he was now at peace and not suffering anymore.
What we think is a MISTAKE is often God’s way of redirecting and guiding us. Here is what happened the last time I saw my brother 15 years ago when I visited him in New Jersey. I really enjoyed seeing his family and spending time together. He dropped me off at the airport in Philadelphia and we said our goodbyes.
When I went to the counter to check in, the agent said, “Sorry, your flight is scheduled for tomorrow and we don’t have any flights available for today. You could check Southwest as they have many outgoing flights.”
It is my belief that everything happens for a reason and for my highest good. I remember thanking God as I walked to the next terminal to see if I could get a flight out that day. I didn’t beat up on myself, which would have been so easy to do. You know like, “Why didn’t you check your ticket?”
Thankfully, I was able to get a flight on Southwest the same day. As I meandered through the airport, a young man in a small kiosk waved me over. Since I had several hours to kill and nothing to do, I walked over. He was offering a free round-trip ticket anywhere in the US if I signed up for a Southwest credit card. I signed up and off I went.
A few weeks later, after I finished giving my talk at the church, an elderly woman by the name of Ellen approached me and shared that she lived on Maui. I said, “It’s always been my dream to VISIT Maui. She said, “You can stay with me for as long as you want, and you can use my car.” It was a no-brainer when she pulled out the postcard of her condo overlooking the ocean. I had a free flight and a beautiful place to stay. It was the first time I left my children at Thanksgiving.
The rest is history. Two years later, I rented my condo in Rhode Island and moved to Maui for 6 months and lived with friends in a condo overlooking the ocean. In January it will be 11 years that I have been living on Maui. I followed my heart, stepped out in faith, and moved there knowing I would meet my soulmate. Larry and I were married 5 ½ years ago and live in a beautiful home overlooking the ocean. God is good.
I have shared in past blogs that my brother who was a Viet Nam veteran had been sober from alcohol and drugs for 30 years. About a year ago, he fell and hurt his leg and was prescribed narcotics. He was off and running and became addicted to the pills. He fell again and broke his hip and couldn’t walk. He was in and out of the hospital for months. He wanted to die and wasn’t eating. It was difficult and sad being 5000 miles away and not able to see him. All I could do was PRAY and send him love, which I believe was the best thing I could do for him.
Of course, his transition last week brought up many memories. It was a quiet week of processing my feelings and letting go. My children and close friends were very loving and supportive of me. I reached out to Facebook friends and asked for prayers. I was so touched and grateful for all the prayers and love I received, especially from those I didn’t even know. We truly are ONE and connected.
I’ve experienced my brother’s love and presence in many ways this past week. I love rainbows and have been comforted by them over the years when I really needed a touch from heaven.
My son, who lives in Boise Idaho, sent me a picture of a car’s license plate in front of him that said rainbows on it right after I called to tell him Jim had transitioned. There was a double rainbow covering the whole sky on Thanksgiving morning that was just breathtaking. I sensed it was a sign from above.
I believe our loved ones who have transitioned want to communicate with us and let us know they are safe, free, and happy. A couple of nights after Jim died, Larry and I were in the den watching TV when we heard music playing and thought it was from our neighbor’s house.
When I went into the kitchen our Amazon dot was playing music. Neither Larry nor I had been in the kitchen and turned it on. Was my brother playing tricks and trying to get my attention? I want to believe it was him. I will remain open to signs that he’s home at last. Have you received signs from your loved ones?
There are no mistakes in God’s world. Everything happens for a reason. When we trust and walk in faith, miracles happen all the time.
Happy Thanksgiving! I am grateful for all of you who read my blog every week and respond. My hope is that it inspires you to live your best life and let go of what no longer serves you.
We all want peace and are searching for peace that passes all understanding. Peace comes from within and our willingness to spend time with Spirit every day to listen and do God’s will. For the past several years, my morning prayer and intention has been to be peaceful, to love, to serve, to be happy, to be healthy, and to be a vessel of love.
I’m not sure if it’s because I’m getting older or wiser, but for the past several months, Spirit is inviting me to spend more “quiet” time alone to go within and deepen my relationship with God through prayer, meditation, and journaling. Rather than pushing, rushing, and staying busy as I did for many years, today I CRAVE the quiet time.
For many years, I looked outside of myself for peace and love, giving my power away and losing my peace. I am learning to love and approve of myself rather than looking to others for approval, love, affirmation, and self-worth. How do you lose your peace and give your power away?
As I spend time alone in prayer and meditation, my “stuff” comes to the surface to be healed and transformed. No matter how long we have been on the spiritual journey, we all have unconscious “blind spots” (shadow) that need healing from living in a world that is asleep and unconscious.
Rather than beat up on myself when my “stuff” comes up, I welcome it and thank Spirit for revealing what has been hidden.
For example, my best girlfriend told me many years ago, “Pat, you are very defensive.” I was shocked because I didn’t realize that about myself. I got angry and said, “I’m not defensive.” I thought I had to defend myself from her “perceived” attack.
Thankfully, over the years I have grown and am able to listen to others and hear what they are saying, rather than defend myself. I still may be tempted to defend and explain myself if and when I feel misunderstood or judged.
Mostly, I have learned not to “react” to others and take things personally. I give myself time to process what happened and ask Spirit for guidance as to what to do next if anything.
I was surprised when Spirit brought to my attention that I am defensive with Larry sometimes, especially if I think he is correcting me or telling me what to do. It just doesn’t sit well with me and I say something to defend myself.
We have a joke when something happens around the house and neither one of us wants to take responsibility for it. Rather than blaming the other, we laugh and say “It must have been the other person living here.”
Before we can change a habit, a behavior, or old thought patterns that don’t serve us, we have to be AWARE they are there. I didn’t realize that I was being defensive and reacting when Larry said something I didn’t agree with or like.
I asked myself, “Why do I think I need to defend myself when I have it all? I feel loved, seen, valued, heard, and respected by Larry. “Do I not feel safe and what am I afraid of?”
Defensiveness stems from fear. The truth is that in my defenselessness, my safety lies. Thinking that I need to defend myself to others is “old energy” that originated from the illusion that I am separate from Source and my brothers and sisters.
Through my healing work and sacred tools, I was able to clear the defensive behavior that I uncovered. I’m grateful for the inner “shift” and that I no longer need to defend myself. I can speak up if I need to in a loving and peaceful manner, rather than with defensiveness and sarcasm.
According to Eckhart Tolle in his book, “Stillness Speaks,” he poses the question:
“Is suffering necessary? Yes and no. If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility or compassion. Suffering cracks open the shell of ego and then comes to a point when it has served its purpose. Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.”
I suffered a great deal in my earlier life with sexual abuse, parental alcoholism, divorce, unemployment, lack, and beliefs and patterns that robbed me of my peace and true identity. I’m grateful that I have learned my lessons (and still learning) because today my life is about living in love, peace, trust, happiness, joy, and surrender, which is our natural condition.
According to A Course in Miracles, suffering results when we forget who we really are as children of God, Source, or Love. We live not in reality, but in an illusion. We are AWAKENING from the collective dream of separation and walking one another home to the truth that we are all ONE and connected.
There is so much going on in the world these days and millions of people are suffering whether it be concerned about global warming, politics, Covid, inflation, health issues, war, food prices, relationships, finances, drought, housing shortages, retirement, food shortages, and the list goes on and on. Can you relate?
I have had my share of fear of living in the middle of the ocean that we won’t be able to get food delivered, run out of water, run out of money, or not have a place to live. I know fear is useless and what is needed is TRUST. God has ALWAYS provided for and guided me.
Is there something in your life that you are afraid and worried about? Is there anything you can do about it? Can you control it? I cannot change what is going on outside of me in the world. I pray and send love to my family and friends and to the world every day. I “show up” to the best of my ability and ask where I can be a vessel of love and kindness. I know that all I can change is ME, my perspectives, thoughts, and reactions. It’s my thoughts that cause suffering and fear. Fear is a call for love.
Fear cannot exist in the present moment, but only in the past and the future, which does not exist. The present moment is the only TIME there is. It is in the present moment that I experience peace. The past is gone, the future is just IMAGINED with all the “what ifs.” Our safety lies in truth and not in lies and illusions. When love is our safety, fear does not exist. Choose Love and you are safe and home.
I’ve asked myself, “What is my responsibility as a light worker, healer, and child of the Universe?” It is to keep my vibration high in love, peace, and gratitude so I can serve where I am called to serve and BE the light and anchor for others still in darkness and caught up in egoic thinking by comparing, competing, and judging.
Here are some obstacles that keep us from awakening: Anger, resentment, unforgiveness, fear, guilt, judgment, blame, shame, defensiveness, unworthiness, and inadequacy.
For the last several years living on Maui, Larry and I have belonged to a “love group” which meets every other week. Last week we discussed the idea of suffering being a CHOICE. Hmmm, very interesting and deep. I believe suffering comes when we are unable to “accept what it is” and when we forget the truth of who we are as children of God. I have many choices on a daily basis to keep myself centered and aligned in peace and love.
· I can choose love or fear
· I can choose lack or abundance
· I can choose to accept “what is” or resist and suffer
· I can choose to let go of what no longer serves me
· I can choose to feel all of my feelings, rather than a spiritual bypass
· I can choose to not take things personally
· I can choose to forgive myself and others for perceived wrongdoing
· I can choose to let go of old patterns and beliefs
· I can choose to not be defensive and react
· I can choose to TRUST God rather than live in fear
· I can choose to LIVE IN THE MOMENT
What are you choosing today? What do you need to let go of to live the best version of yourself?
It started out like a regular Monday as I got ready to leave for my water aerobics class. Of course, I had no idea what the rest of the day would look like and that we would have an opportunity to practice choosing love and peace instead of fear.
When Larry returned home from his walk with Kobi, he said, “My arm and fingers are tingling and numb.” I thought, “That doesn’t sound good.” He immediately took his blood pressure, which was normal.
He assured me that he was fine and off I went to my class. After my class, I visited my friend, Margie. As soon as I arrived at her house, I called Larry to see how he was feeling. He said, “I have had the same episode 2 more times since you left.”
I encouraged him to call his doctor to let him know what was going on. He called me back a few minutes later informing me that the doctor wanted to see him immediately. We felt grateful that we didn’t have to wait to get an appointment.
Margie lives 10 minutes away from our home. When I arrived home, Larry was already waiting at the bottom of our driveway, and off we went to the doctor. We were both silent in the car not knowing if he was having a stroke or not.
When the doctor initially checked his vitals, he said, “I can’t tell you what to do.” By the time he finished examining Larry, he said, “I think you need to go to the ER NOW and get an MRI. Don’t take the time to check out here. We could call an ambulance but it would be faster to drive your car to the hospital. When you get to the ER tell them you are having a stroke.”
Yikes. This was serious. Of course, we were both scared and didn’t say a word to one another on the drive to the hospital. I kept taking deep breaths and focused on getting us there safely. When we arrived at the ER, I dropped him off and parked the car. He did what his doctor told him to say, “I’m having a stroke.”
A nurse brought him into her office to take his vitals and ask him some questions. Apparently, she didn’t think he was having a stroke as she sent us back into the waiting room to wait for the ER doctor to see him. She said, “If it gets worse, raise your hand and YELL.”
There were quite a few sick people already in the waiting room. Being in the ER was Larry’s worse nightmare as he is at high risk for COVID with lung problems. We have both been diligent and stayed out of crowds, escaping COVID. Here we were in the middle of it all. If we were ever going to get COVID it would be here.
We sat there for 3 hours before a doctor even checked him. He scheduled him for an MRI to see if he had a stroke or had any blockages in his brain or neck. We waited another 2 hours before they took him for the MRI. When the MRI was finished, he said to the nurse, “That was quite a challenging experience and I kept choosing love instead of fear through the whole procedure.”As he was being wheeled back to the cubicle where I was waiting for him, he said to the nurse, “Remember to keep choosing love, instead of fear.” She smiled and said, “I will do that.”
For the entire time in the waiting room, I kept repeating the mantra, “I choose love. I choose love, I choose peace.” I repeated my daily affirmation. “I am peaceful, safe, and protected from everything and everyone that doesn’t serve my highest good.” I kept visualizing a golden bubble around us.
Whenever Larry started to feel concerned or fearful, especially with people coughing, gagging, and vomiting all around us, he kept choosing love instead of fear. We were both able to send love to all the people who were sick around us.
We waited another 2 hours before we found out the results of the MRI. We were relieved and grateful when the doctor said, “No stroke or blockages.” Rather than it being a stroke or blockage in his brain, it was a neck issue that caused the numbness in his arm from the pillow he had been sleeping on for months. He changed the pillows and the numbness is gone completely.
Everything happens for a reason and we are protected and guided always. Perhaps Spirit gave us the opportunity to pray for others who were suffering and to practice choosing love and peace instead of fear in a very difficult situation. The best news is we didn’t get COVID.
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