Is suffering necessary

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Nov
30

According to Eckhart Tolle in his book, “Stillness Speaks,” he poses the question:

“Is suffering necessary? Yes and no. If you had not suffered as you have, there would be no depth to you as a human being, no humility or compassion. Suffering cracks open the shell of ego and then comes to a point when it has served its purpose. Suffering is necessary until you realize it is unnecessary.”

I suffered a great deal in my earlier life with sexual abuse, parental alcoholism, divorce, unemployment, lack, and beliefs and patterns that robbed me of my peace and true identity. I’m grateful that I have learned my lessons (and still learning) because today my life is about living in love, peace, trust, happiness, joy, and surrender, which is our natural condition.

According to A Course in Miracles, suffering results when we forget who we really are as children of God, Source, or Love. We live not in reality, but in an illusion. We are AWAKENING from the collective dream of separation and walking one another home to the truth that we are all ONE and connected.  

There is so much going on in the world these days and millions of people are suffering whether it be concerned about global warming, politics, Covid, inflation, health issues, war, food prices, relationships, finances, drought, housing shortages, retirement, food shortages, and the list goes on and on. Can you relate?

I have had my share of fear of living in the middle of the ocean that we won’t be able to get food delivered, run out of water, run out of money, or not have a place to live. I know fear is useless and what is needed is TRUST. God has ALWAYS provided for and guided me.

Is there something in your life that you are afraid and worried about? Is there anything you can do about it? Can you control it? I cannot change what is going on outside of me in the world. I pray and send love to my family and friends and to the world every day. I “show up” to the best of my ability and ask where I can be a vessel of love and kindness. I know that all I can change is ME, my perspectives, thoughts, and reactions. It’s my thoughts that cause suffering and fear. Fear is a call for love.  

Fear cannot exist in the present moment, but only in the past and the future, which does not exist. The present moment is the only TIME there is. It is in the present moment that I experience peace.  The past is gone, the future is just IMAGINED with all the “what ifs.” Our safety lies in truth and not in lies and illusions. When love is our safety, fear does not exist. Choose Love and you are safe and home.

I’ve asked myself, “What is my responsibility as a light worker, healer, and child of the Universe?” It is to keep my vibration high in love, peace, and gratitude so I can serve where I am called to serve and BE the light and anchor for others still in darkness and caught up in egoic thinking by comparing, competing, and judging.

Here are some obstacles that keep us from awakening:  Anger, resentment, unforgiveness, fear, guilt, judgment, blame, shame, defensiveness, unworthiness, and inadequacy.

For the last several years living on Maui, Larry and I have belonged to a “love group” which meets every other week. Last week we discussed the idea of suffering being a CHOICE. Hmmm, very interesting and deep. I believe suffering comes when we are unable to “accept what it is” and when we forget the truth of who we are as children of God. I have many choices on a daily basis to keep myself centered and aligned in peace and love.

·        I can choose love or fear

·        I can choose lack or abundance

·        I can choose to accept “what is” or resist and suffer

·        I can choose to let go of what no longer serves me

·        I can choose to feel all of my feelings, rather than a spiritual bypass

·        I can choose to not take things personally

·        I can choose to forgive myself and others for perceived wrongdoing

·        I can choose to let go of old patterns and beliefs

·        I can choose to not be defensive and react

·        I can choose to TRUST God rather than live in fear

·        I can choose to LIVE IN THE MOMENT

What are you choosing today? What do you need to let go of to live the best version of yourself?

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Being Present

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Nov
30

Larry continues to show me how to be PRESENT and available. When I return home from my morning walk/swim or meeting with a friend for tea, he is often on the computer or in the den watching something on YouTube.

As soon as I enter the room and greet him, he is PRESENT and lowers the volume of the tv or stops what he’s doing on the computer. I’m grateful because I always feel loved, seen, and heard. He wants to know how my morning went and we share about our day so far.

I almost missed out on a “gift from the heart” from him that I will treasure forever. How often have I missed the gifts and love because I’m too busy doing something else that I think is more important? Can you relate?

Here is what happened:

Since I’ve had problems with my lower back after several accidents over the years, my children bought me a Bio-Mat for my birthday. It is an infrared heat therapy that is filled with amethyst crystals. The mat promotes healing and blood flow while energizing and rejuvenating the body. I love sitting on the Bio-Mat in my ‘stressless chair” as I relax and read in front of the ocean.

When I came home from my acupuncture session that morning, I looked forward to just BEING and relaxing on the Bio-Mat. I was listening to a podcast from Maryanne Williamson about relationships when Larry approached me and said, “I have something I want you to listen to.”

I was cozy and relaxed and really didn’t want to get up at that moment. I thought to myself, “Can’t it wait until I’m done here?” As I looked into his eyes, I sensed it was important and got up and went to the den to listen to it. Before he played the song on YouTube, he said, “This is dedicated to you and my gift to you.”

As I sat next to him on the couch, I reached for his hand as the words of the song touched my heart deeply. I wanted to remember this poignant moment forever. The song was “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston (originally sung by Dolly Parton). The YouTube version was sung by Lucy Thomas and it was amazing.

I was so touched by the words that I asked him to play it again so I could record it on my phone.  As I sat on the floor close to the tv recording it, I turned back to look at Larry and we both had tears in our eyes. Wow, what a gift to think I will be able to play the song and remember this moment whenever I wanted to feel his love.

This brought back another memory of when Larry and I were best friends before we were married. Larry was having some serious health problems. We were at a restaurant with a friend when Larry became very pale and looked like he was about to pass out. He looked me in the eyes and said, “Don’t ever forget how much I love you.”

Our relationship is truly about love and sharing our faith journey together. We support one another as we grow in consciousness. Larry says, “We are joined at the heart, and not at the hip.”  

As Larry is PRESENT and available to me, I strive to be PRESENT and available to him and to all those I encounter on my path.  It occurred to me that before I can be PRESENT with anyone else, I have to be PRESENT with myself and God. I spend time alone every day going within, meditating, listening, and being grateful.

Being PRESENT with myself means:

·        I know what I want and what I don’t want

·        I have healthy boundaries and speak up and say no when I want to

·        I’m in touch with my feelings and am able to share them

·        I trust Spirit that I am loved, guided, and protected

·        I love, trust, appreciate and accept myself

I’m grateful for this powerful lesson to be PRESENT and available. I don’t want to ever miss the gifts and love because I’m too busy doing something else that I think is more important.

Frustration, tension, anxiety, fear are the results you get when you are pushing too hard

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Mar
23

I had a wonderful week “showing up for life” playing and being in God’s presence and grace.  I danced, swam in the ocean, painted, prayed, meditated, did yoga, walked on the beach, had ice cream, kayaked, went out to lunch with friends, watched the whales jumping out of the water, went to a luau and a ukulele concert with world renowned Jake Shimabukuro.  I enjoyed fresh herbs , oranges, limes, tomatoes, strawberries and asparagus from the garden where I am now living. WOW, I am so blessed and grateful for the grace to say “YES” knowing that I deserve to receive all that is mine by divine right. I know that the more grateful I am, I more I will attract things into my life to be grateful for. I can truly say that I don’t know anyone who is more grateful than I am.  I asked myself, “Could having a grateful attitude be the reason I am living in Maui?” We all have the choice to live in gratitude, no matter where we live or what is happening in our lives.

I attended the Unity service on Sunday with guest speaker and past minister, Mary Omwake. Her message was “Happiness, “It’s a Practice.” She shared her 21 days to a happier life” 7 steps you can take to ensure increased wellbeing. Here they are:

1. Smile with your heart several times a day.
2. Laugh out loud, at least twice a day – for one minute or more.
3. Be consciously grateful at least 3 times a day, really grateful – feel it, share it, write about it.
4. Do something for someone else, anonymously if possible, or just because you can).
5. Notice something you did right, review the steps in your mind at least once a day for 2 minutes.
6. Every day do something you love for 15 minutes (that is physical.)
7. Connect with at least one person who had blessed or enriched your life every day, by phone, email or letter.

These 7 steps are not “new” concepts and I know you are practicing some of them in your daily life, as I am. I have decided to incorporate the “laughing out loud” and connecting with one person through email, letter or call who has blessed my life every day.  I have read that it takes 21 days for something to become a habit so every time I get in my car and start it up; I begin laughing out loud for at least one  minute. It really feels good. Try it, you might like it (and let me know how you feel).  In my morning prayer, I ask Spirit to guide me to whom I am to connect with and thank them for blessing me.  You might be the next person that I am thanking.

A few weeks ago, I shared a story in my blog about my friends, Jodene and Trudy, and their experience of asking and receiving and instant manifestation. Here is what happened:  After the Unity service a few weeks ago while walking out together, Jodene said, “I really want that picture hanging on the wall” and Trudy responded, “I have a signed copy of it at home and I would be happy to give it to you.”

During the service this past Sunday, I spotted Lee Shapiro in the back of the room, the artist who painted the picture and couldn’t wait to tell him the story of Jodene and Trudy’s manifestation. Of course, Jodene and Trudy were very excited to meet him also. He lives in Maui and invited us to come to his home and see his studio.  We didn’t waste any time and took him up on his offer. The next day, 4 of my girlfriends and I piled in the car and visited Lee at his home.  What a treat to be in his home and see his beautiful paintings. We found out that Lee Shapiro is a nationally renowned watercolorist who has exhibited in over 40 galleries across the U.S. Not only is Lee a famous watercolorist, but he has a passion for life that is very inspiring.

He showed us his new book, “Living in Passion” and we each bought a book to remember the day.  He has beautiful paintings and a poem that he wrote that resonated in my heart and soul. Here it is:

Living in Passion by Lee Shapiro

“I want to live my life full out, without fear or protection totally present in the moment. I want to love with infinite passion holding back nothing, unafraid of intimacy, unafraid of truth. Let love wash over me and through me as the mighty seas crash over the rocks on the shore, sending exuberant sprays of foamy waters skyward in ecstatic celebration. Do you want to dance with me, to throw caution to the wind? To lose our false sense of self and in doing, find our true selves. Let the wings of a glorious eagle carry us to heights unimagined. We might fall, but what an exhilarating ride we would have. Even the free-fall would be moments of rapture as we feel the wind rushing through our souls. Death is not the worst thing, NOT LIVING IS! When death comes, I will go unafraid, joyous in knowing that I played full out, that I did not hold back – that I felt love, sadness, fear, joy – all of it! That my life was a full-bodied symphony of feelings and experiences, played with fervor and fire, gentleness and softness. The notes will resonate in the heart of spirit, in this moment and for all time.”

These words touch my heart so deeply and it is how I am choosing to live my life. I want to love with infinite passion holding back nothing, unafraid of intimacy, unafraid of truth. I want to dance and throw caution to the wind. I want to lose my false self so I can find my true self. I want to live a life full-bodied symphony of feelings and experiences, played with fervor and fire, gentleness and softness.

Have I always lived passionately and in the moment? Absolutely not! I often pushed to make things happen. I was filled with fear and didn’t believe in myself. I looked outside for my answers.  It is so important for us to see how we have grown and celebrate who we are and how far we have come. Spirit showed me how I have grown when I read the message on March 11 in “Until Today” by Iyanla Vanzant. It talked about being “obsessive doers” working so hard and always having to have something to do. This is how I lived my life for many years.  Here is what it said:

“One reason we work so hard is that we are afraid. Few people will admit it, but most of us live in fear that we are not going to achieve our goals, receive the results we expect or fulfill our heartfelt desires. It is this fear that causes us to engage in a power struggle with God. If we really believe that you have to do it all, what do you think God is doing or can do for you? Strain, struggle, frustration, tension, anxiety, compulsion, obsession and fear are the results you get when you are pushing too hard. God, the creative force of the universe, the power over all life, doesn’t have to push to get you to what you want. As a matter of fact, if you would just ease up a bit, you might be surprised by what God will do on your behalf. Relax, sit back and give God a chance to do something for you.”

What a blessing for me to see my growth and how much better my life is now that I am not pushing and trying to make things happen. Today, I ALLOW things to happen, rather than trying to control everything, as I did for so many years because I didn’t know any better and needed healing from childhood abuse. I trust God and my intuition to guide me on a daily basis. It never fails me and I am living my life from the inside out and living in joy. Where have you grown and what do you need to celebrate about yourself today?

I encourage you to “ease up” a bit because you might be surprised by what God will do on your behalf. Relax, sit back and give God a chance to do something for you.

HOW TO PRAY AND GET RESULTS: 10 TIPS TO HAVE YOUR PRAYERS ANSWERED

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Mar
21

10 TIPS TO STRESS LESS

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Mar
17

PROVEN TIPS TO DEAL WITH THE NOT GOOD ENOUGH VOICE

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Mar
14

7 MIRACULOUS TIPS WHEN FEAR GRIPS

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Mar
12

THE POWER OF PASSION IN BUSINESS

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May
4

What makes your heart sing?
Are you living your passion?
Do you know what it is?

* Passion is the fire that burns within your soul.

* It may start as a spark or a flame and eventually turns into a blazing fire that can consume you.

* Passion is an energy that infuses your life with meaning, joy, purpose and love.

* Living your passion takes commitment, determination, patience, fearlessness and courage.

* Passion is doing what you love and using your God-given gifts and talents for the good of all.

* Passion is an emotion that helps you go places others are afraid to go, to try things others are afraid to do.

* Passion creates the energy required to do what others think is impossible.

* Passion helps you work through your fear.

*Living your passion wakes you up in the middle of the night and creativity is flowing.

How do you find your true passion? Bill Strickland, author of Make the Impossible Possible offers some clues, writing: “Passions are irresistible.… If you’re paying attention to your life at all, the things you are passionate about won’t leave you alone. They’re the ideas, hopes, and possibilities your mind naturally gravitates to, the things you would focus your time and attention on for no other reason than that doing them feels right.” Strickland believes that only by following your passion will you unlock your deepest potential. “I never saw a meaningful life that wasn’t based on passion. And I never saw a life full of passion that wasn’t, in some important way, extraordinary.”

He goes on to say “When people can answer these three questions clearly and the answers intersect, they become passionate about what they do. Few things are professionally more fulfilling than doing work that you are extremely good at and turned-on about. It’s an incredible feeling when what you’re good at and excited about enables you to make a contribution that truly adds value to the business and its customers! Work ceases to be a vocation and becomes an avocation or a passion. The questions to ask yourself are:

1. What are my gifts and talents?
2. What am I passionate about?
3. What needs to be done?

Many people experience frustration and feel trapped because they are engaged in work that they may be good at but are not passionate about. They may be excited about something, but lack the skills for the job. Or they may need a degree or certification and they don’t have the time or the means to go back to school to obtain one.

Since work is so much a part of our lives, it is important for our well being that it is meaningful and fulfilling. One of the deepest needs of human existence is to know that our lives count for something and we are living our purpose.

We need to know that our God-given gifts and talents are being used to make a difference in the world. We need to know we are helping others and being of service to humankind. We are all searching for what gives our life meaning. Doing what we love often doesn’t feel like work because it is so fulfilling and rewarding. Being our authentic selves at work and being passionate about who we are and what we do can be a spiritual experience. It is a gift we give ourselves and the people we serve. We cannot be truly happy unless we are doing something we love. Following your passion is about doing something that you love and making it happen.

I feel blessed that I’m able to do what I love and had the guts to make it happen. It took courage to follow my heart and leave a secure job of 20 years. Having a daily spiritual practice enabled me to face my fears and believe in myself. I showed up daily and asked for help.

As a spiritual coach, it is my passion is to empower women to connect with the Spirit within and love themselves. When someone asked me what made my heart sing, I had to think about it for a minute. What makes my heart sing is public speaking. I love to speak and share my stories of God’s love and synchronicities that happen so often. I know my stories encourage people and give them inspiration and hope.

Living passionately has its challenges. My challenge has been to keep myself centered and peaceful because it is so easy to get out of balance. A balanced life is important and essential to my well being and spiritual life. When I am so focused on doing what I love and neglect important areas of my life, like exercise, eating right, having fun, spending time with family and friends, I am out of balance and lose focus.
I know I am out of balance when I feel stressed, tired, can’t sleep at night, my mind is like a blender and won’t shut off. Slowing down, breathing, taking a walk, a hot bath, meditating helps me get centered again. So it is possible to be passionate and peaceful at the same time. It takes awareness and a decision to stay connected to my spirit and to what is truly important.

6 TIPS TO LIVE IN PEACE AND LIVE YOUR PASSION
1. Show up: Develop a daily spiritual practice of prayer and meditation.
2. Ask for what you want – expect an answer. Visualize and believe.
3. Be grateful – An attitude of gratitude is the key to make things manifest and to live passionately.
4. Forgive yourself and others –Holding onto anger blocks the energy flow.
5. Have faith – that your life has meaning and you can live your passion.
6. Let go of control – trust the process and surrender to what is.

The Magic is Within

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Apr
16

Learn how to go inside because THE MAGIC IS WITHIN: Your answers, peace,  power, self love, self appreciation and self forgiveness are within.  Stop waiting for others to tell you how magnificent you are.  Believe it for yourself and about yourself.  Change your “not good enough voice”  and awaken to the potential and possibilities within.  You are the only one that can rescue yourself and hold the key to your abundance and happiness.  Self care is God care.  Self care is an acknowledgement of God’s divine presence in you.  Do you look outside for your answers? Do you give your power away by wanting approval from others?

In the midst of doors and opportunities coming my way, the “not good enough voice” reared its ugly head, like an unwanted, uninvited guest.  As I sat down to pray and meditate, I felt anxiety in the pit of m y stomach.  I knew feelings precede thoughts so like a detective, I went about searching for the thoughts that were creating anxiety.  I didn’t have to search far-they popped up quickly.

“You’re not doing good enough at marketing.  You need a marketing coach to tell you what to do.” The truth and reality is, I’m a fantastic marketer and many people have commented about how they see me all over the place. Music to the ear.

If I listen to the “not good enough voice” I lose my peace and feel afraid and anxious.  I stop trusting God is in control and there is a plan for my life.  I stop trusting that God is leading me and giving me everything I need in the perfect time and perfect way. 

When I’m rushing around and trying to make things happen, I’m coming from a place of fear. I may not be aware of the voice, but it is always lurking in the background.  When I slow down and meditate, I discover the voice that is at work.  In the midst of success, it tries to rob me of the truth of who I am as a magnificent child of God living my life in the presence of God.

The first step is to recognize the “not good enough voice” that’s been in my head for years.  Breathe into it and most importantly don’t beat up on myself.  I name it and tell it that it’s no longer wanted and needed.  The second step is to tell myself the truth and use affirmations.

I am good enough, I am more than enough. I have enough money, power, love, grace, peace.  

I am successful and the best is yet to come.

God is my source and God and I are one. 

I am perfect as I am and my cup runneth over.

God is leading me.  

God has a plan that will make all of my dreams come true. 

I am free.  

Within this new day, I find  release from every old thought pattern or behavior that no longer serves me.

Everything I need is streaming toward me, I open my hands and receive

Addictions & Spirituality

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Apr
16

Have you been affected by someone else’s drinking or drugging? Do you stay up at night worrying about someone you love?  Are you frustrated that your efforts of trying to control haven’t worked? 

What does Spirituality have to do with addiction?  It has everything to do with it. Addiction is a family disease that affects the person abusing as well as family members.  It is a Spiritual disease and the way to recover is through developing Spirituality. This disease has been likened to as having a “hole in the soul.”

Spirituality is the life of the spirit and an awareness of a presence sometimes alone in stillness and sometimes with others. It is a “connectedness” with self, others and a Power greater than yourself. That Power may be referred to as Higher Power, God, Source, Universe – whatever is comfortable for you.  It’s important to understand Spirituality is not religion. Unfortunately, many people have been turned off by organized religion and think Spirituality is religion. You can be religious and not spiritual and spiritual and not religious

When someone is actively drinking or drugging, they are disconnected from themselves, from others and from their Source. They are lonely, scared and confused. Often their lives are out of control and they’ve lost family members, jobs, homes due to their addiction. It is devastating for the person who is addicted as well as for family members. 

Family members often blame themselves, try to control their loved one and in the end lose themselves. Being involved with an addicted person for any length of time and trying to reason with them can be discouraging.  Children suffer because they think that if the parent really loved them, they would stop using.  Many have turned to  Al-anon and Al-ateen to cope with this devastating and life threatening disease. In Al-anon you learn the three C’s. You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it and you can’t cure it. 

The stress of living with someone who is addicted can have numerous effects:  

Physical:   You may develop health problems, such as headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia, upset stomach, colitis, or heart problems

Emotional: You may feel angry, resentful, irritable, lonely, guilty or depressed 

Social: In relating to others, you may be withdrawn, aloof, isolated, embarrassed, aggressive, or controlling 

Spiritual: Your outlook on life may become bitter, despairing, helpless, hopeless or lacking in faith 

As family members, we learn we can’t “fix” the addicted person. We need to allow addicts the dignity to recover at their own pace. Learning to detach with love is a skill that must be learned and practiced on a daily basis.

Detachment is regaining your identity and taking responsibility for your own life – and admitting you cannot control the life of another person. Detaching does not mean that you stop caring. It means that you stop trying to control someone else. You need to focus on yourself and make changes in you.

                                    Tips on how to develop Spirituality and live in peace

1. Detach and stop enabling – the chemically dependent person must be responsible for their behavior. You can no longer step in and pick up the pieces. It’s important to stop lying, making excuses and covering up for the person’s actions.
2. Accept – that changes you make may cause others to be angry and resentful. Expect that. Expect them to react to the healthy changes you are making.
3. Do not threaten – Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.
4. Focus on yourself and what you can change –  Discover what you like to do and what gives you pleasure. Do little things for yourself each day that you enjoy; going for a walk, listening to music, starting a hobby, going out to lunch with a friend.
5. “Show up” everyday and develop a spiritual practice of sitting down for 5 minutes and being quiet. Journal and meditating are wonderful tools to incorporate.
6. Identify your feelings and share them with someone you trust.
7. Practice an attitude of gratitude by focusing on what you do have, rather than what’s missing.
8. Have faith that you have everything you need and you are in the presence of a loving presence and you are not alone.
9. Change your thinking and your life will change.
10. Join a recovery group.
11. Work with a Spiritual Counselor/Coach 

                      
  What is Spiritual Counseling/Coaching and how it can help you

The purpose of spiritual counseling/coaching is to assist you in finding God in the midst of life events, and to prayerfully support you during life changes. It is designed to inspire and awaken you to all possibilities of spiritual growth in your life. It is to help you focus on the solution as your build your conscious awareness of God’s presence and activity in your life. Spiritual counseling/coaching will help you meet life’s challenges from a new consciousness of connection with God.

For more information about Spiritual Coaching contact Pat @ 401-521-6783 or Pat@SimplyaWomanofFaith.com