When I spoke to my grandson, Josh, this week he said, “Grandma, you are in the valley” now with your broken shoulder and all you have been through. I kept thinking about his words and what it means to be “in the valley.” I don’t know about you, but I prefer mountain top experiences where there is sunshine, peace and birds singing. I have had many mountain top experiences when I felt deep love, peace and freedom. I have also had many valleys in my life, when I felt alone, confused, angry and abandoned.
I believe we will always have peaks and valleys in our lives. They are important and necessary if we want to reach the mountain tops. It’s in the valley where I learn to trust God and my faith muscles are strengthened. I learn valuable lessons in the valley and there are many gifts, if we are open to receive. It’s in the valley that I am shown areas in my life where I need to change and grow.
It’s often after we have gone through the valley, that we recognize our growth and the gifts we received. I have received many gifts in my present valley; learning to ask for what I needed, receiving love and kindness from friends and family, feeling worthy and deserving, learning to make new recipes and eating healthier and becoming more aware of my surroundings (which will prevent future falls).
Perhaps your “valley” was when unexpected circumstances suddenly came crashing down on you. It might be physical suffering, chronic pain, loss, death, sorrow, loss of employment, bankruptcy, divorce or emotional pain. What are the lessons you learned in your valley? Are you still in the valley?
Would you agree that the world is being SHAKEN UP TO WAKEN UP? I believe the world pandemic could be considered the “Great Awakening.” It has been predicted and what we have been waiting for. Everything that has been hidden is coming into the light to be healed and transformed. It is an extremely difficult time for many people who are not AWAKE. We are waking up and remembering that this is all a dream and we are not separate from God.
The whole world is in the VALLEY now, as we are living in an unprecedented time of uncertainty, unrest, confusion, disillusionment, and fear. We have never experienced anything like this before and have no idea what is next or who to believe. We are going through the VALLEY together and hopefully we will learn our lessons and our world will be a better place to live.
We will get to the mountain top again if we persevere, accept, trust and keep our eyes on God. Love will provide, guide and protect us. I believe we signed up for this and have everything we need inside of us.
Here is what I’m practicing to keep myself peaceful and safe during this uncertain time in history.
- I am REMEMBERING how God has always taken care of me
- I am SURRENDERING to “what is” and letting go of my control
- I am TRUSTING God is in control and there is a purpose of what’s going on
- I am taking RESPONSIBILTY for myself and my actions
- I am praying and MEDITATING daily
- I am DETACHING from media and news
- I am living in GRATITUDE and focusing on the positive
- I am SURROUNDING myself with like- minded people who support me
- I am keeping my VIBRATION high by choosing LOVE & GRATITUDE
- I am practicing LIVING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT
- I am sending LIGHT AND LOVE to the world
- I am GROUNDING myself daily into mother earth
- I am nourishing myself by EATING WELL and getting enough REST
- I am FEELING all of my feelings and not judging them
- I am GOING WITHIN for my answers and trusting my intuition
Message from Holy Spirit
Rest in me. All is under my control. Nothing that is happening in the world is by mistake. When fear or doubt arises, feel it and let it go. It is not real. The world is awakening from the dream of separation. Yes, there is much fear and confusion. You must stand firm in the truth of who you are and who I am in your life. You know the truth deep within. Let your light shine for the world to see. It is time. I am with you and will provide, protect and guide you.
Since my accident, some of my friends have said, “How can I help you and what do you need?” The temptation is to say, “Thank you very much, but we are doing fine.” I made the choice to swallow my pride and be honest and vulnerable. I respond, “We would really appreciate a home cooked meal, if you would like to do something for us.”
We so appreciate all of the meals we have received. I met a couple on my beach walks in the morning who were visiting from the mainland. We smiled and greeted each other by name every day and shared telephone numbers. When Barbara heard about my accident, she called and asked, “How can I help you?”
Since I didn’t know her very well, I said, “Thank you, we are fine.” When she called me again this week and asked, “What can I do to help you?” I said, “A meal would be great.” Her response astounded me. She said, “I am so happy you are letting me help you. I would be happy to bring you a meal.”
How often do we rob others of giving because of pride and not wanting to bother others? It has been my experience that people want to be kind and help one another.
When I ask others how I can help them, it’s a joy when they are free enough to tell me what they need. It takes out the guessing and gives me the opportunity to give and serve them.
For many years, I expected others to read my mind. I then became resentful when my needs weren’t met. I didn’t know how to ask for what I needed. Perhaps I didn’t feel deserving or worthy. I strive to be honest and authentic in all my relationships.
Spirit led me to ask my children for financial help this week. I need ongoing physical therapy and acupuncture to heal my broken shoulder, and it’s quite costly. My pride and ego didn’t want me to ask for help. I felt embarrassed and afraid I would be judged. In meditation, I heard Spirit say, “Will you allow ME to love you through your children?”
I knew my children loved me and would help in any way they could. Within an hour, all the money I needed was provided. It was very emotional as I allowed myself to go deeper with Spirit. I was shocked and surprised what came up as the tears flowed down my cheeks. I felt unworthy and underserving to receive. I believe this was a “Divine set-up” to reveal to me what was hidden and needed to be healed. I am grateful I had the courage to listen to Spirit and ask for help. I got what I needed and gave my children an opportunity to love and give to me. This is the chapter of my life to receive. One of my sons wrote, “Ask and you shall receive.”
Larry and I attended a birthday party about 4 years ago. We met a man who was an acupuncturist. He made a positive impression on me and thought if I ever need an acupuncturist, I would check him out. My physical therapist, Brad, recommended an acupuncturist named, Sam. I kind of remembered the man I met 4 years ago was named Sam, but wasn’t sure.
As soon as I walked into his office this week for my first appointment, I recognized him. It was the same Sam I met 4 years ago. I said, “I remember meeting you and how your light shined.” My first treatment went really well and I have already experienced improvement in my shoulder.
It truly was another “Divine Set-up.” We connected spiritually within the first 10 minutes of the treatment. It was magical and like we had known each other for a long time, as we both shared about Love and the power of God in our lives.
Love is always there to guide and protect us and give us what we need. Sometimes we have to ask and put aside our ego. We also need to be open and willing to accept and surrender to “what is.”
On Friday, June 12th my day was going along pretty normally until around 7:30 a.m. Pat was on her daily walk at the beach and I was home enjoying the morning. The next thing I knew was that there were two strange men at the door with my wife and I could see she was clearly in pain and didn’t look good.
Pat had been walking on the beach and stubbed her toe on a partially hidden rock. She fell down and landed on her shoulder. She had fallen near the edge of the water and couldn’t get up as the small waves covered her with sand. She was alone and scared, but didn’t panic because she kept choosing love. Within a few minutes, she saw a man walking on the beach and called out for help. He came right over and helped her to get up.
Her friends, Lou and Chip, were right ahead of her and came to her rescue and brought her home. Since she was covered in sand, the first thing I had to do was get her into the shower and get her cleaned up.
As a former Police Officer, I experienced many emergency situations. I was very good at keeping my wits about me as long as the situation didn’t involve my family. In the past, when a family member was involved, I became panicky, frightened, stressed and not able to respond to the challenge very well.
With Pat’s accident, I remained, calm, focused, and stress-free. I assessed the situation and brought her to the critical care center, where she was diagnosed with a broken shoulder. This behavior is new for me when it concerns someone I love. I’m sure my trust in the energy and light of LOVE enabled me to be present in the moment and open to the help of a higher power.
Since I have accepted the gift of Love in my life, I was able to see this situation as an opportunity to be there for Pat during this challenging time. It is a privilege to be a vessel of love by taking care of her, because I believe it is God loving her through me.
Our friends have been wonderful – they have rallied around Pat with LOVE, calls, prayers, and meals. It’s wonderful to see Pat’s family who are 5,000 miles away be there for her with facetime calls and loving concern.
Do you agree with this? There is more joy in giving than receiving? I think it needs to be both to live a balanced life. I don’t believe we can really receive without the experience of giving and we can’t give without the experience of receiving. Like many of us, I am more comfortable with giving, as it gives me great joy to help others.
This chapter in my life is about RECEIVING. My heart has been cracked open wide because of the love I have received from Larry, my children and friends on Maui and from the mainland. Friends blessed us with meals, calls, and all kinds of support. I know I’m healing quickly and with minimal pain because of the energy healing and Reiki I am receiving. I asked for prayers from friends on Facebook and the response has been overwhelming.
I’m allowing myself to ask for what I need and be vulnerable. In this moment in time, there are things I cannot do for myself with a broken right shoulder and have to ask for help. It is humbling to realize we are not in control of our lives, even though at times, I think I am.
We never know what the next moment will bring, do we? It is my intention to be peaceful with whatever is happening around me. I am at peace when I remember to be grateful, accept “what is” and live in the present moment. I am given the opportunity to practice what I believe; everything happens for a reason, I can become bitter and complain or become better and evolve. I am choosing to evolve.
I am experiencing daily lessons, gifts and opportunities that I am grateful for. I will be incapacitated for the next 5 weeks. I know I will have a lot to share about what I’m learning in this sacred school of life. What I know in my heart is that I am not alone and everything happens for a reason. Love always provides, guides and protects me.
Like the rest of the world, things are slowly “opening up” on Maui and for this I am grateful. We followed protocol and kept healthy and safe (and will continue to do so.) It is my daily practice to send love, light and prayers to the whole world and to all who are suffering from COVID19.
I also reached out to friends who were alone and needed support. I practiced gratitude and focused on the positive and what I have in my life. I was present to myself and gave myself what I needed in each moment. I trusted and let go of what no longer served me. I surrendered to “what is” and strived to live in the present moment.
I can ACCEPT what’s happening in the world and have peace or I can RESIST and suffer. My choice. Acceptance is where the POWER lies. I KNOW that the world will be a better place because of this PAUSE that was needed and necessary to bring the world back into balance and LOVE. I believe it is the “Great Awakening” and all a part of God’s plan to wake up the world. It is what we have been waiting for. We have been “shaken up to waken up.”
Someone asked me, “How are you surviving during the COVID19?” I smiled and answered, “I’m thriving.” Ego says: Once everything falls into place, I will find peace. Spirit says: Find peace and everything falls into place. For many years, my intention and prayer has been to be peaceful.
There have been many wonderful changes in my life that I’m grateful for: deepened relationships with my children, saying yes to writing a book with Larry, Eating healthier, more trust and peace in my life.
One of the biggest changes I’ve made is that I walk 5 miles every day on the beach. I don’t know why, but before COVID19, I hardly ever walked on the beach. I’m up and out at 6 a.m. in the morning, which is truly a miracle because I loved my “quiet” mornings before starting the day. I walk for 2 hours and listen to powerful manifestation meditations. My heart is full of gratitude and appreciation for what I have co-created with Spirit in my life.
I LOVE walking the beach and greeting people with a smile and a good morning. It’s the same people walking that early in the morning so we greet each other by name. I have made new friends and connected deeply with interesting and spiritual souls, like myself. When I return to my car after my walk each day, I find a flower that one of my new friends leaves me.
I noticed a woman walking on the beach and was attracted to her peaceful presence, bright light and energy. We always smiled and greeted one another when we passed each other. I saw her approaching me one day this week and decided to introduce myself to her and tell her, “I see your bright light and energy.” She thanked me and became tearful that I recognized her light shining from her eyes. She saw my light too, which felt really good to be SEEN. We had a powerful connection and a “knowing” of two souls recognizing one another. We both felt like it was divinely orchestrated and guided.
She invited me over to her home a few days later as we both wanted to share our stories and our lives. There were so many synchronicities and life experiences that we shared. Like myself, she is a woman of faith and was thrilled when I gave her my book, Simply a Woman of Faith. I look forward to seeing what God has planned for us as I know there are no accidents.
I received a message the next day from my new friend that read, “Your story inspired me so much and I’m so grateful our paths have crossed. I’m so blessed that you have been guided to walk in companionship and inspiration with me. I’m humbled with gratitude. Know that you are loved, valued, appreciated and SEEN.”
I know that what I see in others, is also in me. I saw my friend’s peaceful presence, bright light and energy. I am claiming that for myself.
As the veil is being lifted, we are invited to see the truth of who we are. We are not separate from Source or one another. We came from Source and we are all connected. We are LOVE. We are all ONE and we are whole. We are not victims of our circumstances; we are the creators of our lives. The virus that seemed to separate us in the physical realm is bringing us together in the heart realm.
Here is what I’m practicing to grow my “spiritual muscles” in the bootcamp.
- Focusing on the positive; deeper connections with family and friends
- Being loving, patient and compassionate to myself and others
- Allowing myself to feel all of my feelings – like clouds floating in the sky
- Going within & not “zooming out” on food, social media, internet, busyness
- Forgiving myself and others
- Appreciating all the gifts I have been given and staying in gratitude
- Communicating and negotiating with Larry especially when stressed
- Asking for what I need
- Reaching out to friends who are alone and need support
A few weeks ago, I shared in my blog how happy I was to find the “HONEY” bear in the bottom of the box that was on the top shelf of my closet.
Before I put the box back, I wanted to see if I had missed anything. Sure enough, I noticed a brown manila envelope and I had no idea what was in it. There were about 100 greeting cards that I had saved from my children over the years. I decided to randomly choose 2 cards and see who they were from.
I picked 2 beautiful birthday cards and they were both from one of my sons telling me how much he appreciated and loved me. It touched my heart deeply because I was really missing my son and hadn’t talked to him in a few weeks. I sat and allowed the sadness to come up, as the tears rolled down my cheeks. Because of the virus, I’m unable to visit my family this summer and I don’t know when I will see them next.
Just a few hours earlier before finding the cards, I shared with Larry my feelings about how much I missed my son. I didn’t have to do anything, but allow myself to just feel and BE. I was still feeling kind of raw and vulnerable when the phone rang a couple of hours later.
I couldn’t believe it when I saw my sons name come up on my phone. He called to thank me for a “heart letter” that I had sent to all of my children on Mother’s Day. Was that a coincidence or God that he called at the moment I needed to hear his voice? I believe it was GOD.
I broke down when I heard his voice and told him about the cards that I found that morning from him. It was quite emotional when I told him how much I missed him and he told me how much he missed me. It was a sacred moment as we both felt the love through the phone lines.
We are all connected by Love and through Love. God’s timing is always perfect and we get what we need when we need it. My son calling me at that time was divinely orchestrated.
A few days later, I decided to take out the manilla envelope from the box and read all the cards. Again, tears flowed as I read each card that my children had sent me. I’m so grateful that I had saved the cards as my heart was touched deeply.
This week as I went through the box again, I found my intention book that I was inspired to create 14 years ago when I wrote “Simply a Woman of Faith.” Instead of a vision board, I had created my intention/ picture book that I prayed with every day for one year. There were pictures, affirmations, and meaningful scripture passages.
As I sat and looked through my intention book, I was amazed at what has come true and what I have manifested. I am living my dream and what I had intended and prayed for. Not only was my book published, I retired from my job as an Addiction Therapist and followed my heart to become a Spiritual Life Coach and Speaker. I traveled to Bermuda to give a women’s retreat (which was in the book).
I had not remembered the picture of a turtle swimming in Maui that I had put in my intention book. My spirit knew this would be my soul’s path way before it manifested in form.
Since creating my intention book 14 years ago and seeing all that I had manifested, I decided to create another one about the book Larry and I are writing together. I spent the afternoon cutting out pictures and words and creating new affirmations. I had so much fun and felt a tremendous amount of excitement and energy creating my new intention book.
I know deep within my soul that this is God’s will for us to write this book and share our love story with the world. God is still writing our love story as our hearts are united in love.
If you’ve grown up with a parent who was unavailable, abusive, alcoholic, mentally ill, workaholic or narcissistic, it can take years to heal the trauma and recover. The process for me has been to release old patterns, stuck energy, feelings and beliefs that no longer serve me.
Has this ever happened to you? You are going along your “life” feeling connected to Source, magnificent, loved, empowered and remembering you are Love. You feel gratitude and things are flowing with peace, ease and grace. Then comes along someone or something to “trigger” you. A friend or family member does something or doesn’t do something that upsets you. You feel ignored or not valued. We all have different triggers depending on what happened to you as a child and how much healing you have done.
When I have a strong emotional reaction to something that is happening in the present, it is usually stuck energy or a belief from my childhood that needs healing. Instead of playing the “blame game” and seeing myself as a victim, I’m learning to thank the person (in my mind) for bringing up an unhealed part of me.
I wasn’t expecting to be triggered this week, but I was. It was an invitation to be compassionate with myself, not beat up on myself, judge or “shame” myself for not being further along the spiritual path.
I’m choosing to love myself and “accept what is” and where I’m at. I know I’m doing the best I can and so is everyone else. As I’m learning to love and be compassionate with myself, I’m able to love and be compassionate with others.
I want to love others unconditionally and not judge them or make them wrong and me right. I know I cannot control others actions, but I can control my REACTION. It’s not always easy when I’m triggered and I’m dealing with something from my past that still needs healing.
My lesson this week had to do with unrealistic expectations of others. An unrealistic expectation is a premeditated resentment. We may harbor a resentment when the outcome of a situation is not what we wanted or we don’t get a response from another that we were hoping for.
Having an expectation of how we think people “should” act causes unnecessary pain and suffering. When I expect someone to do things the way I do them or act in a certain way, I set myself up for disappointment every time.
For example: When I’m impatient and expect a quick response from a text, email of phone call, I set myself up to be disappointed. Perhaps, I don’t get a response at all, and think I’ve done something wrong. I allow it to determine my value and happiness. Usually it has nothing to do with me, and I’m taking it personally.
There is nothing wrong with hoping for a desired response or outcome, but trying to force it to happen and then having negative thoughts and feelings about myself and the other person is futile. I cannot control the way other people think, feel or act. It is none of my business.
- I’m striving to not expect people to act exactly like I would like them to and to give them the benefit of the doubt.
- I’m striving to live in the moment and stay present with my own thoughts and feelings. When I do this, I’m not letting myself get into stories or victimhood about what the other person should have done or not done.
- I’m striving to give myself the love I crave and need, rather than looking to others to validate and love me.
I will never be peaceful if I’m always expecting other people to do it my way or to love me in a certain way. If I want to be happy, I must drop my expectations of others and let go of what I think they should or shouldn’t do. All I have power over is my thoughts, feelings, reactions and beliefs.
I am grateful to say that Larry and I celebrated our 3- year wedding anniversary this week. I found a love that is healing my heart and soul. Larry says, “God is loving Pat through me.” God is loving Larry through me. How can it get any better than that? Here is the prayer we said to one another on our wedding day.
BLESSING OF THE HANDS
These are the hands of your best friend, strong and full of love for you. They are holding yours today as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as we continue your future together.
These are the hands that will passionately love and cherish you through the years and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when you fear or grief fills your mind.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it, support and encouragement to pursue your dreams, and comfort you in difficult times.
Most importantly, always remember that these are God’s hands loving you.
And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness and love with just a touch.
Our relationship continues to grow and flourish as we love and support one another. I really appreciate how Larry is PRESENT to me and is kind, patient, thoughtful and caring. He is always ready to listen to whatever I am experiencing and gives me the space to process my feelings, without judging or trying to change them. He has learned that I don’t want or need fixing. What I want is to be heard and validated. Once I feel heard, I am more open to listen to his wisdom. We love to play and laugh. We laugh a lot and it is great medicine.
My “leap of faith” to move to Maui and follow my heart was the best move I could have ever made because I have never been happier. I not only learned to love, honor and appreciate myself more deeply, I also found my soul mate, Larry. I prayed for 15 years to meet him and KNEW I would meet him in Maui.
What does it mean to follow your heart? I’m sure we have all had experiences where we followed our hearts, even though it didn’t make sense at the time. It may be staying in an alcoholic marriage and trusting it would work out. It may be getting a divorce after many years of marriage. It may be leaving a career and not having another job. It didn’t make sense for me to move 5,000 miles away from my family and friends, but I followed my heart and so grateful I did.
Following my heart means a deep inner “knowing” that I’m doing what is right for me, that I’m loving and trusting myself and that I’m being guided by a power greater than myself. When my heart is pure and coming from a place of love, Spirit always comes through and gives me what I need at the right and perfect time.
Following my heart is my soul inviting me to EXPAND and EVOLVE. There may be fear, and probably will be when you step out of the boat into the unknown. It’s like you can’t stop the flow and you don’t want to stop it. If you try to stop the flow because of fear, your dream will die inside of you.
It takes great courage and faith to follow your heart because it may mean disappointing those you love and they may feel angry or abandoned. They may not understand that you had to do what you did for your evolution and growth.
Are you willing to follow your heart and step out of the boat? God will give you everything you need when you trust and have faith. I’m living my dream because I stepped out of the boat and trusted God.
I hope everyone had a nice Mother’s Day. Even though my 4 children and I are scattered all over the globe, and I am 5,000 miles away across the ocean, we connected through phone calls and zoom. Since we are still in quarantine, we stayed at home and I had a peaceful, quiet Mother’s Day. I am very grateful for my children and grandchildren and the love and happiness they bring me.
Mother’s Day can be a difficult day for many of us. We may not all have children, but we all have mothers who have birthed us into the world. We may or may not know our biological mothers. Some of our mothers have gone to the other side and we miss them terribly. Some of us have chosen not to have children. Some of us cannot have children and that causes pain in our hearts. Some of us have mothers that are alive, but we don’t have a nurturing relationship with them. Some of us are blessed to have and have had loving relationships with our moms.
It’s not surprising that Mother’s Day may be difficult for so many women and they feel relieved when the day is over. My mother died in 1968 at the age of 44 on New Year’s Day and I was only 20 years old. My children never got to meet their grandmother, nor was she there when I got married.
Because of her alcoholism and illness, we didn’t have a loving, nurturing relationship. We started to have a relationship a year before she died when she went to Alcoholics Anonymous and got sober. Consequently, there were many Mother’s days that I cried and wished she was still alive. I’m grateful that with the grace of God, I have been able to forgive her and often feel her presence in my life, like I did this Mother’s Day. The best gift I have given to my children has been to do my inner work of healing and forgiveness so I don’t pass on the dysfunction to the next generation.
I love how Spirit gives me what I need when I need it, even when I don’t ask. The day before Mother’s Day, I asked Larry to get a box down from the top shelf of my closet. I was looking for my old picture/affirmation book that I prayed with daily when I was writing Simply a Woman of Faith. I thought looking at the affirmation book would give me inspiration while writing our new book.
I didn’t find what I was looking for in the box. Instead, I found the brown, soft cuddly teddy bearthat was tucked away in the bottom of the box. Memories flooded in as I held the teddy bear close to my heart as tears flowed down my cheeks.
Several years ago, I was really missing my mom and asked to feel her presence.
I was in a gift shop on New Year’s Day when I heard the small, still voice of God say: “I have a special gift for you today, be open.” As I walked around the gift shop, I prayed to be led. I didn’t find anything and wondered if I really heard the voice of God or was it my imagination?
I was about to leave the gift store, but decided to take one more look and walked down the baby aisle. I picked up this soft, cuddly brown teddy bear and held it close to my face. When I turned it over, I saw the manufacturer’s tag on the back. HONEY was in big red letters. My mother’s name was HONEY. Here was my gift from my mother. She shows up when I need her the most. That happened about 30 years ago.
Here was my mom “showing up” again for me on Mother’s Day 53 years after her death. I went to bed this past Saturday night with my HONEY cuddly teddy bear close to my heart. I don’t think I will put her back in the box again. I will keep her near as I need to feel my mother’s love and presence every day.
My mother is helping me with my journey to be a vessel of love and to be the best mom, wife and friend I can be. You weren’t able to be there for me growing up, but you are here for me now. Thank you, mom.
God was so patient “waiting” for me to say YES to His plan. It took me seven years to write my book, Simply a Woman of Faith. It took me that long because it wasn’t God’s timing and I wasn’t ready “until I was ready.” There was a lot of inner work and healing needed before I had the courage to make a commitment to myself and God that no matter what, or how afraid I felt, I would do it.
There were all kinds of signs and synchronicities once I said YES to writing the book. I found money in my bank account that I didn’t know was there. I received an award at work that I didn’t expect to receive. I had all the money I needed to hire a coach and editor. I had no idea of what I was doing, but I kept trusting and putting one step in front of the other.
My book was published twelve years ago. I wouldn’t be living my dream, living on Maui in a home overlooking the ocean and married to my soul mate if I hadn’t said YES to God’s plan. The last chapter of my book I share about my desire to meet my soul mate. I had no idea that I would move to Maui and meet Larry there.
Many people have said to me over the years, “You really need to write another book and share your Love story.” Larry and I started writing together three years ago and for whatever reason, we put it down. It reminded me of when I put down writing Simply a Woman of Faith for one year and said to God, “I’m not doing it, you have chosen the wrong person.” I’m so grateful God had other plans for me!
About a month ago. I felt a “nudge” from Spirit to finish writing our book again. I asked God for a sign and said, “If this is your will, put it on Larry’s heart to finish the book.” I waited patiently for Larry to say he was getting a nudge about our book. I felt relieved when he said nothing and figured it wasn’t God’s will.
I received an email this week from a woman who has been reading my blogs for years. She simply wrote, “I feel a compilation of your “blogs” are your second book. I’ll purchase your first copy. You are indeed the Queen of Encounters, the Magical Mystery Woman, and the Brave Heart of Love.”
I felt something stirring inside of me again. I allowed it to marinate as I prayed and asked God for direction and discernment. I only wanted God’s will and I was willing and ready to follow the plan. I prayed and meditated and asked for a dream. That night, I had a dream that was very significant and knew in my heart that it was time to finish the book.
I hadn’t shared any of this with Larry because I didn’t want him to feel pressured. I felt completely detached from the outcome and knew I would finish the book whether he said “yes” or “no.”
The morning after my dream, I looked into the mirror and said to myself, “You are beautiful.” I then looked at a card that has been on my wall for about 3 or 4 years. It read, YOU ARE BRILLIANT AND BEAUTIFUL. I was stunned because I had never seen the BRILLIANT part of it.
I have a family member who I think is BRILLIANT and have been telling them that for years. I never saw it in myself until I was walking on the beach this week. I heard Spirit say, “YOU ARE BRILLIANT.” I got it for the first time in my life. I am BRILLIANT because I freed myself from growing up with 2 alcoholic parents and multiple sexual abusers. I felt empowered and free.
I have not only talked the talk, but I have walked it and was willing to do whatever I needed to set myself free. During this time of cocooning, I have done deep inner work clearing away what no longer served me and have forgiven others and myself.
Larry and I spend “sacred time” together on Sunday mornings and I decided to tell him about the “nudge” I was getting from Spirit about finishing the book. I said, “I’m not attached to you writing, I would love you to be a part of it, but I will do it either way.”
He agreed to pray about it to see if it was God’s will. He then shared, “I started to think about finishing our book about a month ago, but I didn’t say anything to you.” Interesting because that is when I asked Spirit to put it on Larry’s heart. Perhaps, I didn’t ask Spirit for him to tell me about it! When Spirit wants you to do something, He is relentless and doesn’t give up until you get it!
God’s timing is perfect always. We get exactly what we need when we need it if we trust and believe. It is God’s will for Larry and I to finish our book. It is time and we are both excited and READY. IT IS TIME.
What has God been nudging you to do? God will give you everything you need when you say YES to His plan.
What a roller coaster of emotions this pandemic is bringing up for me, as I’m sure it is for you also. I’m peaceful, trusting and surrendered one minute and the next minute tears are flowing as sadness, grief and anger erupt about how things are unfolding and the people who are dying and alone, people losing their jobs and businesses closing. We have never been through anything like this and it takes great courage and faith to keep believing. We are in the darkness or the cocoon and we don’t know for how long we will be there.
Easter has always been a time to celebrate new life, new birth and the resurrection of Christ. I didn’t know what this Easter was going to be like with all that is going on in the world. There would be no family gatherings and Easter egg hunts for the children. We Zoomed with my family and it was great. My daughter and grandson did a magic show for us and Herbie played the guitar and we sang together.
Larry and I started our morning watching a live stream Easter concert special from Italy with Andrea Bocelli. It was moving and beautiful listening to Ave Maria and many others.
I had a special surprise that touched my heart today. Outside on our lanai was a “love dove” sitting in a planter. I spotted her Friday night just sitting quietly and not moving. I wondered if she would lay any eggs. I didn’t want to disturb her so I stayed away. Saturday morning, she was still patiently sitting there.
Early Sunday morning, I looked out the window to see if the “love dove” was still in the planter. I could see her moving side to side and up and down. When I saw her fly away, I quickly went to see if there were any eggs. Sure enough, there were 2 eggs. I felt excited and grateful to receive this gift and be a witness to the promise of “new life” on Easter Sunday.
It wasn’t long before mamma bird was back to care for her eggs. Sitting on her nest is providing warmth and protection for her eggs until they are ready to hatch. I have no idea how long she will sit there or if the eggs will even hatch. It takes time and it’s a process.
This reminds me of how our heavenly Father watches over us and protects His children until we are ready to be born again or born anew. We are never alone and always protected. We are always in process and it will take as long as it takes for us to be reborn. It takes courage to change and die to the old self.
The freedom to be myself is the greatest gift I can give to myself.
Larry and I were best friends for 2 years. It was six years ago on Easter Sunday that I turned and looked at him while celebrating Easter Sunday service that my eyes were opened. In that moment, I KNEW! He was right there in front of me all the time, but I didn’t see him. Why did it take 5 years for me to see he was the love of my life, my soulmate, the man I had waited for and dreamed about? I guess I wasn’t ready until I was ready. It’s a process.
Today, with tears rolling down my eyes I sang to Larry “Can’t help falling in Love with you” with Andrea Bocelli. It was emotional for both of us as we held hands and looked into each other’s eyes. I feel so blessed and grateful that I was single for 15 years and had the grace and willingness to wait for God’s perfect timing and fall in love with myself first. Did I like having to wait? No, I didn’t, but I’m glad I did!
We practice living in the moment and enjoying the time we have together. We are not promised tomorrow, all we have is today. We don’t know the future, but we are trusting God’s perfect timing and surrendering to “What is.”
I don’t want to waste this sacred “cocoon time” and not be transformed from the inside out. I am willing to do the deep inner work and learn the lessons I need to learn so I will be transformed into the “butterfly” I am meant to be. I am trusting the process and however long it takes to set myself free and fly.
The world is watching and waiting for NEW LIFE AND NEW BIRTH. We must die to the old so the new can come. Love is all there is and Love will prevail. Sending love and prayers from my heart to your heart wherever you may be. All is well.
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