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I am perfectly imperfect & loved

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I picked a card that spoke to my heart during my meditation this week,


I talked to my son, Tim, and we discussed our upcoming family vacation to Boise, Idaho. He said, “Mom, you sound anxious, are you?”

I was honest and said, “Yes, I have some anxiety, but I will be fine when I get there as I’m affirming daily that the trip will flow with peace, ease, and grace. It will be fun and we will have a “love fest.”

My concerns were whether I would be able to sleep, what my energy level would be like, how traveling would affect my body, and whether I would have my “quiet” time which is essential to my well-being. I reminded myself that I am responsible to give myself what I need.

Tim recently built a beautiful home in the mountains of Idaho and my family is staying with him for a week. Although I’m excited to see my son, his new home, and my children and grandchildren, I had some concerns about all of us living under the same roof at the same time, including my former husband. We haven’t had a vacation together since my kids were babies.

In the past, I’ve been triggered by my family to bring up what still needed healing in me. Families often trigger emotional activation because of generations of repressed emotions such as blame, shame, guilt, fear, resentment, rage, and frustration. I am learning to send love and thank the person who triggered me.  

I had an errand to do after my conversation with Tim and was driving to the store when seemingly out of nowhere, I started to feel “awful” like I had done something wrong. I immediately went inside to see what was going on. I was feeling SHAME for telling my son the truth about feeling some anxiety about the trip.

I put my hand on my heart and said, “Queenie Patricia, come home to yourself.” I kept repeating it until the peace returned. I wasn’t aware that SHAME was lurking in the background when I admitted that I was anxious and imperfect.

Shame is the feeling that we ARE a mistake, inadequate, and insufficient as a person. It’s about our BEING and who we are. We may experience ourselves as defective, worthless, and unlovable. We think that we have to be perfect and may withdraw from others and become defensive and distant.

My son wasn’t judging me for sharing my anxiety, but I WAS. I needed to forgive myself for judging myself. I journaled and asked myself some questions:

·        Do I think I need to be perfect to be loved?

·        Do I think Tim would think less of me when I’m honest about my feelings?

There was a time that I wasn’t in touch with my feelings. I learned growing up in my family of origin the 3 unspoken rules: Don’t talk, don’t feel, & don’t trust. I broke the rules and chose to be vulnerable, honest, and authentic with Tim. Vulnerability is a superpower.

My upcoming vacation is inviting me to do a “deep dive” to uncover thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that no longer serve me and never have. Spirit showed me that I don’t like to look or feel “needy.”  I don’t like to ASK for help and reveal my imperfections. I like to be the “helper” and look good and “all together.”  I’m aware that my ego is threatened by my peace and wants to rob me of the truth of who I am. The ego is the mind’s belief that I am separate from Source and everyone else.

Love is my superpower and safety net. Love is healing me. I no longer need my family’s approval because I’m taking responsibility for myself and giving myself the approval and support that I need.

What is most important is that I LOVE, TRUST, LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT, and practice GRATITUDE. What an opportunity for me to “show up” as Love and light and allow my family to see the NEW transformed, healed version of myself.


Byron Katie and loving what is

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I’m learning to not ask “WHY” something has or is happening in my life. It’s about ACCEPTANCE, ALLOWING “WHAT IS”, and TRUSTING that I am always being guided and that everything is in the perfect and right order when I’m aligned with Spirit and go within for my answers. It’s a practice and I don’t do it perfectly.

I want to ask “WHY” something is happening because I want to fix, change or control something I don’t like, rather than accepting and not trying to figure it out in my head, which often drives me crazy and everyone around me.

We are in the “School of Consciousness” and there will always be lessons we need to learn to evolve, heal, transform, and grow. That’s different from asking WHY something happened, especially when we don’t like the outcome. We are exactly where we need to be to learn our next lesson and adventure.

Everything that has been “hidden” is coming to the LIGHT in all areas of life, both collectively and individually. If peace of mind and living from my heart in LOVE is important to me, then I must be willing to see what is still hidden and lurking inside of me that causes needless pain and suffering.

I’m grateful that I get what I need when I need it, even if it is uncomfortable and I don’t like it. Guidance may come from another person, a recurring dream, intuition, a stranger, a book, or just a deep knowing inside.  

I was struggling and sharing (whining) with a friend my “story” of how hurt and angry I felt by another’s behavior for the hundredth time. It was judgmental and I couldn’t seem to shake it no matter what tools I used. Our parents, children, and spouses are the masters for showing us the truth of what we don’t want to know about ourselves.

My friend said, “I’m reading Byron Katie’s book, “Loving What Is” and enjoying it. I had her book on my bookshelf for years and read some of it, but never did the WORK, which is answering four questions about a stressful situation and asking yourself whether it is true or not? I came home after sharing with my friend and pulled out her book and started reading it immediately. I was desperate and thought maybe it could help me get out of my funk.

I was amazed how quickly it shifted my thinking when I was able to see my “STORY” of feeling unloved or not belonging wasn’t true. I felt FREE and grateful for the truth. The TRUTH has set me free. Relief came quickly when I realized what was true for me, not for others, but for me.

I became aware through doing the WORK and answering the 4 questions how I have kept myself in PRISON for years with my “STORY.” I realized that if I created the story that wasn’t true, I could uncreate it and not believe my thoughts that I didn’t belong or wasn’t loved.

Katie states “We are disturbed not by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happened. Suffering is a natural alarm, warning us that we are attaching to a thought. The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with “what is.”

The next day, I visited with my friend, Margie, who wrote the ONE WITH GOD book series. I shared with her my experience of reading Byron Katie’s book and how it had shifted my thinking and how free I felt.

She said, “I love Byron Katie and have all of her books. They have transformed my life too. Would you like to borrow one?” She gave me, “I Need Your Love – Is That True?” Wow, it has been eye-opening and I’m loving the book. I have been binge reading and learning so much more about myself and my thoughts.

This is what is true for me today. What other people do or don’t do, say or don’t say is about them. I’m learning to not take things personally, which is a big one as I always thought it was about me and I must have done something wrong to be treated a certain way. What I know today is that I am RESPONSIBLE for my REACTIONS and THOUGHTS only, and not what other people do or don’t do. This is freedom.  

Spirit is “weaning” me of my need to “be needed” and to “pursue others in relationships.” I felt important and valued when others needed me and asked for my advice and help. Being “weaned” is uncomfortable and I don’t like it, but I know it’s for my highest good and my soul’s evolution and expansion. What is most important is my relationship with Spirit and keeping myself in peace,

Up until now, I haven’t allowed myself to feel my feelings as I let go of my need “to be needed” and others coming to me for advice. For as long as I can remember, I “pursued” relationships because I didn’t want to be ignored and feel the loneliness inside.

What is the voice in your head saying?

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What voice inside of your head is stronger and which one do you listen to the most? The voice of the Holy Spirit or your egoic voice? The voice of the Spirit is loving, peaceful, gentle, forgiving, compassionate, and joyful.

The voice of the ego is judgmental, fearful, guilty, fault-finding, shaming, blaming, controlling, needing to be right, future tripping, and comparing yourself to others by either feeling “better than” or “less than.” Can you identify?

Are you able to recognize when it is your egoic voice and bring yourself back into your heart and the truth of who you are as Love and light? When I get out of balance and my ego is shouting or whispering in my ear that I’m not enough or that I don’t do enough, I put my hand on my heart and say, “Come home Queenie Patricia.” I keep repeating it over and over until the peace comes back. It has always worked.

I had so much fear inside of me and didn’t know it was my ego for a long time. I stopped writing my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” for a year and told Spirit, “You have chosen the wrong person and I’m not doing it.” It took me 7 years to finish the book because I didn’t believe in myself and didn’t think anyone would read it. I quit college in my junior year because I had to write a 20-page paper in my senior year. I felt overwhelmed and didn’t think I could do it.

I’m so grateful to Source for not giving up on me (like that is even possible-we are ONE) and being patient when I was stuck and riddled with fear. By the grace of God, I became willing to do the inner work of releasing beliefs, habits, and behaviors that robbed me of becoming the woman that I was meant to be and am today. I did whatever I could do to heal myself and learned to let go, accept what is, surrender and trust. I still practice this daily.

I have been listening to the voice of the Spirit for over 40 years and it has never failed me. As I look back over the last 40 years, there have been many miracles and answered prayers. Whenever I felt stuck, inadequate, or fearful, I asked for help and guidance. It always came; sometimes immediately and other times I had to WAIT patiently.

I was in the hallway a lot meaning that one door was closed and I had to wait and trust for the next door to open. I was not always patient, complaining and banging on the door to open. That certainly didn’t work and I lost my peace. My faith muscles and trust in Spirit were being strengthened as I LET GO AND LET GOD. 

How about you? Are you in the hallway and banging on the door or are you peaceful and trusting that all is in perfect and divine timing?

Every morning in prayer and meditation, I journal and “check-in” with myself and ask myself and Spirit, “What do I need to do or BE today? Who do you want me to reach out to? How do I love myself today? Where do you want me to go? What is your message for me today?”

Instead of always being there for others and feeling responsible for fixing or changing them, I am there for myself FIRST and foremost. I can then be of service to others when I’m called upon. I listen to my heart and intuition, even when it doesn’t make sense. I set boundaries and detach from outcomes, when necessary.

Instead of having all the answers for others, I am guiding them to “go within” and ask Spirit for their answers. If we have depended on someone or something for our answers, rather than going within for our answers and depending on Source, the relationship may have changed or ended. Of course, there is nothing wrong with supporting and loving one another.

There is a mistaken belief that Love comes from someone or something OUTSIDE of ourselves. The truth is that Love comes from WITHIN, as our essence is LOVE. Love is all there is.

I invite you to go within, find the truth of who you are, and come home to yourself.

Divine Abundance

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I experienced “Divine Abundance” showing up in several different ways this week. Spirit is always guiding and providing for us when we TRUST, BELIEVE, and ASK.

Larry and I treat ourselves to ice cream once a week. We take our dog, Kobi, with us to the Shops of Wailea and enjoy sitting and watching the smiling tourists go by.

Larry and Kobi head upstairs and find comfortable chairs for us to sit in and I go to the ice cream store and buy our ice creams. While standing in line waiting to give my order, the man in front of me turns to me and says, “I want to treat you to ice cream.” I was shocked and said, “You want to treat me to ice cream?” He said, “Yes, I’m paying it forward.” His name was Mike and we struck up a lively conversation about life and Source. He smiled and said, “My daughter is getting married this week and we are all here for the wedding.”

Not only did he treat me to ice cream, but he offered to buy ice cream for the man in front of me. As I reached the cash register, I had my money out to pay for Larry’s ice cream. It was so kind of him to treat me, I didn’t expect him to pay for Larry’s too. He smiled and said, “Put your money away, I want to pay for his too.”

They have punch cards and with every 10 purchases, you receive a free ice cream. I asked the clerk if I could get my card punched for the 6 ice creams that Mike just purchased and he said, “Sure.”  Not only were we treated to free ice creams, but I got my card punched 6 times. I was so excited and couldn’t wait to share it with Larry.

On our way home, I said to Larry, “Mike was so kind and generous.” I have been paying attention to “what I see in others is in me.” I asked myself, “Was I kind and generous too?” Larry and I are retired and on a fixed income so I’m unable to spend money like Mike did, although I have paid it forward many times.

What Spirit showed me is that I am loving, kind, inspirational, and generous with my time, attention, and presence to my family and friends, as well as to all I meet. Isn’t that what we are all want? We want to feel loved unconditionally. We want to be listened to and have someone be attentive and present to us. What a gift we give to ourselves and the other person when we are fully present with no agenda.

Here is another example of “Divine Abundance.” A couple of days after our free ice cream treats, I asked Spirit to provide a coffee maker at a yard sale. We have a small 4 cup pot and we needed a bigger one for company. As I was leaving to go yard sailing on Saturday morning, Larry said, “Don’t forget to look for a coffee maker.” I spotted a yard sale sign at the end of our street and wondered if I would find a coffee maker there. The first thing I spotted when I walked into the yard sale was a 12 cup Mr. Coffee machine. I thought to myself, “I would like to pay two dollars and asked, “What are you charging for the coffee maker?” He said, “Two dollars.” I smiled and said, “That is exactly what I was thinking, thank you.” Thank you, God, for always providing for us.

I’ve been looking for a computer chair on line as mine is old and falling apart. As I was leaving the same yard sale, I was inspired to turn around and ask, “By any chance are you selling a computer chair?” He said, “Yes, we have two computer chairs, but we need to keep them until August 1 when we move out of the house. Would you like to see them?” I said, “Yes, I would love to see them.” The chairs were in excellent condition and well made. I asked, “How much are you asking for the chair?” He said, “How about $25?” I didn’t have to think about it and said, “Yes, I will buy it.”  What a deal! I’m so grateful I listened to my intuition and turned around to ask if they had a computer chair.

I received an email from a woman who responded to my last blog and has been reading my blog for over 10 years. I met her once and she has never written to me before this. I cried when I read it as her words touched my heart deeply. I had no idea that I had the impact on her that I did.

Dear Pat,

I remember many years ago standing by the shore on Scarborough Beach and you caught my attention. You were wearing a large wide-brimmed hat and walking as if gliding and you were smiling and flowing. I thought to myself, “Who is this lovely lady shining and radiating love and light? As you came closer, I recognized you from my sister Sandra introduced us once at Unity Church. I remember thinking and to this day hoping I too would have that impact on others as you had on me that day. We don’t always know the difference we make in another person’s life. You made and continue to make a difference in mine. I would be honored to be a reflection of you.

I “show up” every day and ask Spirit to be a vessel of Love and to shine my light to everyone I meet. I love my life and I love how I am guided and provided for.

What to do when triggered

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I was triggered this week by a family member who I “perceived” as ignoring me. It is not uncommon to be triggered by family and close friends. Relationships are a major means of healing ourselves as we recognize that what I see in you is in me. Our loved ones know us well and know how to push our buttons, even though it’s often unintentional or unconscious. We all want to be seen and feel loved, especially by our family and friends.

For many years, I hated it when I felt triggered. I judged and beat up on myself and said, “You dealt with your mother wounds 20 years ago, why are you still struggling? Why are you triggered AGAIN? What is wrong with you? Will you ever be healed and not get triggered?”

What do you say to yourself when you are triggered? I invite you to ask yourself: “What needs to be healed and acknowledged in myself that’s causing this trigger?”

I not only judged myself for being triggered, but I judged the person who triggered me and said things like, “What they did was rude, they don’t love me, why does this keep happening? I’m going to tell them I feel hurt and angry when they ignore me.” The more judgmental I am of the other person, the more it reveals my insecurities. I don’t want to look at my “stuff” and what’s inside, so I PROJECT it onto them. Our reactions are often out of proportion to the situation.

TODAY, I WELCOME triggers and see them as gifts and messages from Spirit to bring to the light what is hidden and still unhealed in me. I know that my soul or higher self has attracted the trigger into my life for my highest good. Instead of projecting my “stuff” onto others, I take responsibility and ask myself, “Where am I rude, or where am I ignoring myself?” It shifts everything when I forgive and thank the person who triggered me, as well as forgiving myself for when I have been rude or ignored others.

Triggers can be anything that causes an emotional response (hurt, anger, shame, guilt, sadness) in you. Do you keep attracting the same relationships and problems into your life? If peace of mind is important, you are invited to stop looking outside and blaming others and look inside to see what needs healing in you. Others are showing you your wounds so you can heal yourself. When you are triggered, it’s about YOU and not the person who triggered YOU. The more conscious and aware you are, the less you will be triggered and the less you project onto others what you hate and despise in yourself.

Are you willing to take full responsibility for yourself when you are triggered and stop living in victim consciousness, blaming others and taking things personally? Blaming others for what has sparked a reaction in you only adds fuel to the fire.

Growing up with an alcoholic mother, I often felt ignored, dismissed and unvalued. I looked “outside” for validation and attention and it was never enough. I was the “good girl” always striving to please my parents to feel their love. I was disconnected from myself and my feelings, although I looked good on the outside. My brother “acted out” and became an alcoholic and drug addict.

Although I still get triggered sometimes, it is to a much lesser degree and I move through it quickly. I know it’s about ME and not the other person.

I’m grateful that today I give myself the attention and love that I deserve, rather than seeking it from others. I am the ONE I have been waiting for and YOU are the ONE you have been waiting for.


Detachment and how to live in peace

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Is it possible to live in PEACE when a family member or friend is out of control and suffering with addictions or depression? I think it’s possible, but not easy. I will share with you how I live in peace and out of drama when I witness the devastation of addictions.

A symptom of addiction is DENIAL, which is very difficult to break through, even after the person you love has car accidents, been fired from a job, and landed a night in jail. That certainly would “wake me up.” I have learned that everyone’s bottom is different.

I may be 5,000 miles away from my family physically, but emotionally I can be right there if I CHOOSE TO. I have a choice to ATTACH or DETACH from the madness and chaos of someone’s drinking, drugging or dysfunctional life.

When I’m ATTACHED to someone or something that I judge as not healthy for the person I love, I feel afraid and worried. I obsess, try to change, control, and fix the person. I have learned no matter what I say or do, it is up to the person to take responsibility for their life. I am not their SAVIOR. I can support and love them to the best of my ability, but I cannot get someone sober.

What are you ATTACHED to and how do you lose your peace? You may be attached to old beliefs (not good enough & separate from Source) that no longer serve you. You may be attached to something you really desire or an outcome that you think will make you happy. You may be attached to people pleasing or feeling like you never get enough from others. You may be attached to what your children are doing or not doing. The list goes on and on.

When I’m ATTACHED to an outcome and cannot ACCEPT “what is,” I lose my peace of mind and give my power away. 

Spirit has given me an opportunity to practice what has worked in my life in the past, and that is, to not get “sucked into” the drama and lose my peace. I do that by practicing DETACHMENT. I don’t do it perfectly, but I keep practicing when I become aware that I have lost my peace and I’m out of alignment with Spirit. I focus on GRATITUDE and what I have, rather than what’s missing.

DETACHMENT is experiencing our FEELINGS without allowing them to CONTROL us. We are able to step back, rise above the drama, and look at things objectively. We let go and ACCEPT what we cannot change. We DETACH from others choices knowing that their spiritual work is not ours to do. We CHOOSE how we will act rather than reacting in anger, blame and judgment. DETACHMENT allows us to be in the world, but not of it. It frees us to live our lives in peace. DETACHMENT doesn’t mean I DON’T CARE. It means I’m taking care of my needs first.

Sometimes doing NOTHING is more powerful than doing SOMETHING. I believe in the power of prayer and miracles. I know sending love and light energy to the person suffering from addictions or depression is the best thing I can do for them. It is a decision to “rise above” the chaos and TRUST in the Divine. I know that another’s journey is their journey and they need to learn the lessons they signed up for. It’s all in divine perfection.  

I have been a “fixer” most of my life and thought I knew what was best for others. Perhaps even a know it all at times. When you grow up in a dysfunctional home, whether it be with addictions, depression, abandonment, trauma, or divorce, you often have to be the ADULT and take care of your parents’ needs. You learn to focus on others, at the expense of yourself. It becomes wired into your brain to take care of others. That is why some people are great at taking care of everyone else while they don’t know how to love and take care of themselves. Can you relate?

Being at peace means I have become my own best friend. I no longer need to prove myself and look outside for validation because I know that I am valued, worthy, and deserving of love. I take responsibility for my feelings and reactions, rather than blaming others for my feelings or unhappiness. Being responsible means I am more focused on what’s going on INSIDE of me, rather than OUTSIDE with others and what they are doing or not doing. I practice staying in my own LANE which means I mind my own business, unless I am asked for advice or counsel.

I’m grateful for the gift of DETACHMENT. It really is about TRUSTING that God will take care of the ones I love much better than I ever could. As I practice DETACHING, I am PEACEFUL and present in the moment. I am FREE to be me and allow others to do what they need to do for themselves.

What you see in others is in you

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It was an interesting week as I experienced both the light (love) and the dark shadow (fearful) part of my personality. I’m sure you are familiar with the statement, “What YOU see in others is in YOU.” That is, both the negative and the positive aspects of yourself. It is a deep dive and takes courage and faith to go within and see the truth of who we are. We are both, the light and the dark.

We are mirrors for one another. When we don’t take responsibility and are unable to see our “stuff” coming up when we are triggered, we will feel like a “victim” and project it onto others through blaming, judging, feeling hurt, angry, and resentful. Has this ever happened to you?

Rather than blaming, judging, feeling hurt, angry, and resentful, what if we accepted and loved all the parts of ourselves, rather than judging ourselves and others, or feeling less than or better than our brothers and sisters?

It’s called the “Great Awakening” as the world is “waking up” (and it’s not a pretty picture) to the lies we have been told and consequently have believed about ourselves and the world.

Healing is happening very deeply when we recognize that we are not (and never have been) SEPARATE from Source, Universe, Love, and God. We are ONE with one another and are meant to support and love one another. Spirit wants us to experience love, abundance, joy, freedom, and peace.

On the LIGHTER side, here is what happened to me. I had to return something to Amazon and went to the UPS store. The young man who assisted me was very accommodating and kind. I commented to him, “You have a beautiful smile.” He looked me in the eyes and said, “What you see in me is in you.” He was talking my language as we recognized the light in one another, although we had never met before.

Of course, this opened up a loving spiritual conversation between the two of us. I walked out of the UPS store like I was walking on cloud 9. I couldn’t stop thinking about him and the impact his SMILE had on me. I even wanted to bring Larry back to meet him.

I asked myself, “Does my SMILE have the same effect on others as his did on me? I smile at everyone and often quietly send love and light. I became aware that a simple SMILE can change someone’s life. His SMILE changed my life. I felt humbled (and delighted) to realize my “light” was shining bright. Spirit invited me to embrace and accept the truth of my true identity as LIGHT. I believe my purpose is to shine my LIGHT and think of it as S&S -SMILE AND SHINE.

Another example of “What YOU see in others is in YOU.” There was a “GoFundMe me” for a woman who was paralyzed through a freak accident on Maui. I decided to donate money to the cause and asked Larry, “Did you also donate?” He said, “Yes.” When he told me how much he donated, I thought to myself, “That was so generous of him.” A few hours later, I heard Spirit say, “You are also very generous.” I hadn’t recognized that until Spirit brought it to my mind. 

On the DARKER side, I received an email from a man who has been reading my blogs for some time. I felt triggered, defensive, angry, and judged by his apparent negative condescending, superior remark.  Instead of withdrawing or sending him a negative response, I chose to keep my heart open and responded in love and peace. When I feel any kind of pain, rejection, hurt, or judgment, I BREATHE deeply and keep my heart open. I send them love and thank them for triggering me and showing me what still needs my attention and what needs to heal in me.

I remembered “What YOU see in others is in YOU.”  What an opportunity Spirit was giving me to look at myself. Instead of judging and making him wrong, I asked myself, “When have I felt condescending and superior to others?” I forgave myself for all the times that I felt superior to others and acted condescending.

Whenever we become aware of the light and the dark parts of our personality, it gives us the opportunity to bring it to the surface and into the light to be healed and transmuted. When other people mirror negative things in me, it triggers my guilt and shame and then I know that these issues haven’t been healed yet. When others mirror my goodness or light, I know I am moving forward and expanding.

Do you recognize the light and dark side of your personality and have you embraced it all? Remember, “What YOU see in others is in YOU.”

It felt like I was DERAILED

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I wrote in my journal during my morning meditation, “It feels like I’ve been derailed.” Since I had never felt or written that, I asked SIRI on my phone, “What does it mean to be derailed?” She said, “A train accidentally leaves the tracks by diverting from the intended course.”

In life, the intended course is to stay on track with Spirit. To stay on track, I PRACTICE:

·        Living in the present moment.

·        It’s knowing all is well and that I am guided, protected, and provided for.

·        It’s knowing that I have everything inside of me, rather than looking outside to someone or something for my answers.

·        It’s knowing that I’m never given anything I can’t handle and that I’m not ready for.

·        It’s knowing that I’m always at the right place at the right time and that my life is unfolding as it is meant to.

I asked myself, “How did I get derailed and off track from the intended course of Love, Light, and Peace and how do I know when I’ve been derailed?”

I know I’ve been derailed when I lose my peace and give my power away. I’ve been derailed when I worry, obsess, am fearful, and my mind is like a runaway train.

Spirit showed me that I get derailed when I “future trip” and live in the “WHAT IFs” rather than “WHAT IS.” “Future tripping” is dangerous because it hasn’t happened and probably won’t happen. We tell ourselves a STORY about what could happen, and then we panic.

Maui has a housing shortage and some landlords are charging ridiculously high rents to tenants. Tenants often only get 30 days’ notice to find a new home. It’s really scary as people are scrambling to find housing.

I got derailed quickly and was on a roll when I allowed my mind to be like a runaway train. “WHAT IF” we have to move? Where would we go? “WHAT IF” he raises the rent and we can’t afford it? “WHAT IF” we have to move back to the east coast? “WHAT IF” I get sick or Larry gets sick, who will help us?”

The truth is that we have lived in our home for 9 years and the “WHAT IS” is that our landlord hasn’t raised the rent in all that time. We appreciate and feel grateful for his kindness. I remind myself that She knows the plan and I am safe.

When we live and dwell in the past with our mistakes, or we future trip about what may or may not happen, we are not living in the present moment where there is peace and love. 90% of our suffering is in our minds and comes from negative thinking.  When I’m not conscious and vigilant with my thinking and my words, I will accidentally leave the track of the intended course. When I let go of thoughts that don’t serve me, it sparks more possibilities to show up in my life. It gives me mental space to be who I really am and accomplish tasks I never thought possible.

I listened to a podcast from Dr. Joe Dispenza this week. He said, “The deadliest words that block the law of attraction and manifestation are: I hope, I need, and I can’t.

Rather than saying, I hope – say I KNOW. Rather than saying, I need – say I HAVE. Rather than saying I can’t say – I CAN. It has been empowering as I catch myself saying I hope this happens, rather than saying I know this will happen.  

Here is how I practice staying on track and keeping myself in peace.

·        Prayer and meditation daily

·        Journal and read spiritual material

·        Ask for a message from Spirit, listen and act

·        Take responsibility for myself by giving myself what I need

·        Allowing myself to feel all of my feelings

·        Detach when I need to

·        Send out peace and love to family, friends, and the world

I “show up” every day and “check-in” to see if I’m aligned with Spirit. I’m aligned with Spirit when I feel peaceful, happy, content, and loving no matter what is happening in the outside world. I don’t do it perfectly and sometimes it’s harder than others, but I don’t give up. I KNOW the intended course is Love, Light, Joy, and Peace. It is our birthright. 

People come into our life for a reason and a season & lifetime

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I’m sure we have all experienced people coming in and out of our lives for a REASON, a SEASON, or a LIFETIME. It helps us to accept when we know if it is for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When someone comes into our lives for a REASON, it is to meet a need that we have expressed. They are there to assist us through a difficult time, or to provide us with guidance and support physically, emotionally, or spiritually. Then, without any wrongdoing on our part, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. They may die, walk away, or “act up” and force us to take a stand and set a boundary. Our need has been met and their work is done and it is time to move on.

When someone comes into our lives for a SEASON, it is because it is our time to share, grow, or learn. They may bring us love, peace, or joy and teach us something that we have never done before, but the season eventually ends.

A LIFETIME relationship is a lifetime of lessons that help us grow and build a solid emotional foundation. Our job is to accept the lesson, love the person and practice what we have learned in all of our relationships

It becomes a problem when we want it to be a LIFETIME relationship, rather than accept it is only for a SEASON. I experienced deep emotional pain when I didn’t understand why my 30-year-old relationship with my best friend ended abruptly when she said, “You have changed too much and I don’t want to see you anymore.” I was disappointed, angry, hurt, and sad.

We may blame ourselves or the other person and stay stuck for years. Rather than blaming, shaming, withdrawing, feeling like a victim, being defensive, and closing my heart to love, I strive to accept and trust in the Divine plan for my life. My peace of mind and serenity are what is most important.

Although I had processed all of my feelings about the relationship ending a few years ago, I still had a deep yearning or longing for it to go back to the way it was. I still missed her and the deep intimate relationship we shared for so many years.

I was led to bring our relationship to prayer and meditation this week. I wrote a letter to myself AS IF she had written it to me. I channeled her soul and connected deeply with her. It was a powerful experience and I felt her love deep within my soul.

Something deep inside of me shifted as I was able to give myself the love and acceptance that I needed and craved from her. Through telepathically connecting with her, I heard her say, “I have always loved you and will always love you.” I smile when I think of her now, rather than “wishing” it was different, I am grateful and have accepted our relationship was for a SEASON.

I shared my experience with a client that hadn’t been able to let go of a relationship that ended 5 years ago.  Although she had experienced deep healing and letting go, she wasn’t able to heal and shift the sadness deep within. She was seeking an apology and acknowledgment for all she gave to him in the relationship.

Instead of looking to him to give her what she needed, which was futile, she gave herself the love and appreciation she needed. She channeled his soul and was set FREE. She said, “It flowed once I started writing and I felt his love and appreciation deep within. I felt liberated from his shackles for the first time.”

I believe that whoever we have ever loved and whoever has loved us, the LOVE remains whether they are still on the planet or have transitioned. We are all connected and ONE. Love is all there is.

Are you “plugged into” the Power?

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 I recently asked some family members and close friends the question. “Do you see and know your beauty, light, and magnificence?” After a brief pause, almost all of them said, “No, I’m afraid I don’t really.” Some of them said, “I know I “should” see it with all the inner work I’ve done over the years. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t, depending on what’s going on in my life.”

How about you? Are you able to see the essence and truth of who you are as Love and Light? I encourage you to ask yourself the question. “Do I see my inner light, beauty, and magnificence?”

I haven’t seen my light, beauty, and magnificence until NOW. It’s taken me 76 years to come HOME to the truth in my heart that I am LOVE and LIGHT. I don’t know why it has taken me so long, but it has. I’m not even sure HOW it’s happened, except that the veil has been lifted, my eyes and heart have opened and I have awakened to a deeper truth within. I knew in my HEAD that I was LOVE and LIGHT and repeated affirmations, etc., but it hadn’t reached my HEART until NOW.

Over the years many people, even strangers, have approached me and commented that they see my light. Larry sees my light and calls me “Sparkle.”  Although it felt good to be complimented, I didn’t believe it and let it into my heart. I knew my struggles, not feeling good enough, comparing myself to others, my triggers, and how my ego reared its head quite often.

For many years, the month of May has been a spiritual month of miracles. I grew up Catholic and Mary was a big part of my life as a young girl until I became a teenager and didn’t want any part of her then. I renewed my relationship with Mary as a young adult and she has been a big part of my life since then.

The month of May has been extraordinary with feeling BIG shifts every day inside of me. The veil has been lifted and I’m remembering the truth that we are all ONE and not separate.

I recently found a letter tucked away in a box that a friend had written to me 43 years ago (May 1980) when I was just 33 years old. It brought tears to my eyes. She saw something in me that I didn’t see or believe in myself. I allowed her words and message to sink deeply into my heart. I wanted to embrace the LIGHT that has been there all along, but I just didn’t see or believe it.    


“She came into my life just out of the blue. This angel of mercy sent my way. She taught me to BELIEVE and TRUST in you and she gave me HOPE! Hope in a future full of you Lord. Hope in a life of LOVE. She let your LIGHT shine through to me when your love was all I needed.

She helped me to SEE and LOVE myself and accept who you had made me. Through her LOVE dear Lord, you became so real. I changed before I knew it. She gave me a thirst to BE dear Lord all you created me to BE. To believe during darkness, to believe during despair that you are in charge of all things.

Please bless my friend dear Jesus as she walks along life’s way. Fill her heart with joy, her life with LOVE, and her soul with you. Thank you, Lord, for sending her as an angel to enrich my life. I will never be the same because of her LOVE. Her LOVE for me, but especially because of her LOVE for YOU.”

Spirit guided me to re-read my book, Simply A Woman of Faith which was published 14 years ago. I was blown away as there were so many powerful stories of GOD-INCIDENCES in it. In the last chapter, I wrote, “I know I’m going to meet my soulmate, but I don’t know HOW or WHEN.” The rest is HISTORY!  If you haven’t read my book with all the miracle stories to strengthen your faith, I highly recommend you do.

Today, I am “plugged into” the POWER and Presence and know that my LIGHT is shining brightly. I have RECLAIMED the Power, Love, and Presence within. This POWER has never let me down and will never let me down.

 It doesn’t matter what you call the POWER. It’s all the same and it is within all of our hearts. Some call the POWER God, Consciousness, Universe, Higher Power, Presence, Source, Spirit, Love, or Light. What do you call the Power within?

You truly are the Light, Love, and magnificence of God. Claim the truth and set yourself FREE. You are an infinite being filled with powerful Infinite energy.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
621 Laniolu Place Kihei, HI 96753