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I wasn’t honest

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Have you ever slipped back into old codependent behaviors and didn’t even realize it until after the fact and the damage was done? I denied and ignored my needs and wants for many years to take care of the ones I loved.  I thought their needs were more important than mine. Can you relate?

I felt guilty and selfish for wanting/needing something. Consequently, I felt afraid to ask because I didn’t want to be rejected and be disappointed. Rather than being assertive and asking for what I wanted, I expected others to read my mind and used the “silent treatment” or dropped hints to what I wanted. It never worked!

For many years, I was out of touch with myself and didn’t know what I felt or what I wanted. But I knew what others wanted and became hypervigilant because I wanted to please others.  For example: when a friend would ask “Where do you want to go for lunch?” I would often say, “I don’t care. What do you want?”

In our book, “It’s Never Too Late for Love”, I write “Do you think that asking for what you want or need makes you feel less than? I think this is an old belief that is born out of lack of respect for myself and love for myself. A lack of self-respect can lead to feelings of unworthiness, or feeling less important than others. It will cause you to subordinate your own needs, and not ask for what you want.”

With the grace of God, I have been practicing asking for what I want, receiving and feeling deserving, setting boundaries and saying no to unacceptable behavior for many years.

I didn’t practice what I know and BLEW IT on Valentine’s Day. Here is what happened:

Larry asked me what I wanted for Valentine’s Day. I really didn’t think I wanted anything. I asked him to write me a poem in a card, which he did and he took me out to breakfast.

The day before Valentine’s Day, I realized I would have liked flowers. Larry has always bought me flowers on this day and I didn’t know if he was going to surprise me, so I didn’t say anything.

Since Larry’s fall a couple of months ago, and the pandemic he doesn’t get out often. He just started physical therapy last week and his leg and back were in pain.

Of course, I felt bad for his pain and didn’t tell him I wanted flowers. It felt selfish and not important, so I ignored what I wanted. It wasn’t a big deal and I planned on sharing it with him when he felt better and after Valentine’s Day.

A few days after Valentine’s Day, I brought it up to him that I would have liked flowers. Here is his response: “I’m disappointed you didn’t tell me since I asked you what you wanted. I feel like the bad guy again. Why weren’t you honest with me?”

Yikes, he was right. I really felt like “I blew it” after all these years of practicing speaking up and asking for what I wanted and needed. Clearly, the old codependent behaviors of taking care of others and putting myself on the back burner was rearing its head. Here is what I learned:

  • I denied myself what I wanted
  • I judged what I wanted was not important and selfish
  • I denied Larry the opportunity to give to me
  • I wasn’t honest about what I really wanted
  • Larry felt like the bad guy

Larry and I discussed the situation and worked it through with love. I didn’t beat up on myself and understand I will fall back into old behaviors that don’t serve me or anyone else. What is important is the awareness and willingness to be honest with him, rather than holding onto a resentment. 

I was devastated

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I was devastated when my son and his wife told me they were moving to Florida with my two grandchildren over 20 years ago. I felt sad that we wouldn’t be spending birthdays and Christmas together that year. I allowed myself to FEEL it all.

Of course, I wanted the best for my son and family and was happy for their new adventure to Florida. I wasn’t even aware that I felt angry until after a therapy session when my therapist gave me “permission” and helped me get in touch with my anger. After the session, I went to the ocean by myself and screamed out my anger. I felt so much better after that purge.

It was Thanksgiving and I can remember clearly dreading Christmas without the grandchildren to celebrate with. I kept thinking, “This is going to be the worst Christmas ever.” I was negatively “future tripping” about how I would feel when Christmas arrived.

I’m grateful that I remembered what I think about I bring about and I get what I expect. If I didn’t want it to be the worst Christmas ever, I had to change my thinking. Instead of expecting and dreading the upcoming holiday, I started to affirm “This is going to be the best Christmas ever.”

Guess what? It worked! Although I missed my family, I had a great Christmas celebrating with friends and other family members.

Spirit brought this incident to my mind this week as I anticipated an event that I planned on attending. I had looked forward to the event and felt excited until a few days ago. I felt anxious and was not looking forward to the event. I’m generally not an anxious person so I was surprised by the depth of my anxiety.

I was concerned about meeting a friend at the event who I hadn’t seen in a few years. I was triggered by her big time in the past. I know when I’m triggered there is something in me that needs healing. I had to remind myself that just because I was triggered by my friend in the past didn’t mean that I would be triggered by her in the present.

Everything is energy and I didn’t want anxiety in my energy field. The key is to become aware of what’s going on inside of me rather than blame, shame, or judge someone else. I am not the same today as I was a few years ago and neither is she. The past is gone and the future is not here yet. All I have is the present moment. It is in the present moment that I connect with Spirit and I experience peace. On occasion, I’ve even thanked the person who triggered me as they helped heal unconscious beliefs that no longer served me.  

I allowed myself to journal and feel the anxiety, without judging myself or making myself wrong. I have a powerful tool called the energetic cleanse which I used to free myself and not “future trip” about seeing my friend at the event.

It is important to keep my vibration high in love and gratitude. After I did the energetic cleanse, I started to affirm, “This is going to be the best event ever, and meeting my friend will flow with peace, ease, and grace.”

I love how Spirit affirms me when I’m in alignment and doing God’s will. The day after I did the energetic cleanse, I stopped at a yard sale on my way home from the beach. I found a picture that reminded me of my friend that said, “I love you.” There was a ladybug in the picture and ladybugs are a powerful symbol for me when I encounter them.

With the grace of God, I took responsibility for my feelings and changed my thinking. Remember, what I think about I bring about and I get what I expect.

I’m now looking forward to the event and even seeing my friend because “This is going to be the best event ever and meeting my friend will flow with peace, ease, and grace.”

Trust yourself

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When I worked as an alcohol and drug therapist years ago, I had a quote on my desk that read, “When you learn how to trust yourself, you will learn how to live.” It has taken me many years to learn how to trust myself, my intuition, and listen to the voice of God within.

I often looked outside of myself for answers, thinking someone else knew better than I did for my life. If I had a decision to make, I would say to a friend or loved one, “What would you do if it were you?” I would also ask, “Would you feel this way if it happened to you?” Clearly, I didn’t trust my feelings or myself. To be clear, there is nothing wrong with asking for advice and then making your own decision from your own knowing and heart.

Developing and mastering self-trust is deep soul work. When I trust in a power greater than myself, whether I call it Higher Power, Source, Universe, God, Holy Spirit, Higher Self, or Infinite Intelligence, I can let go and RELAX knowing everything is orchestrated by God for my highest good. I can surrender the outcome, knowing it will be perfect for everyone involved, even those I cannot see.

The more I trust myself, the more I am able to trust God and will hear the voice of God, as God and I are ONE. There is a peace that comes over me when I hear the voice of God within. Trust is a state of being, a way of thinking, and a level of knowing. When I trust, faith supports me.

When I trust Spirit and am patient and willing to wait, I am always provided for and EVERYTHING I need will come in the perfect and right timing. I don’t know HOW or WHEN, but there is a KNOWINGNESS and trust deep within my soul. Here is how Spirit provided for us this week.

Larry has had sinus problems for the last 2 years that appear to be getting worse. Sometimes he cannot sleep at night because he can’t breathe. He has tried several different treatments that work for a while and then stops working.

I called our neighbor and asked him if he wanted to share some produce that we had just bought from Costco. He said, “Thank you, I will come over now to pick it up.”

While we stood outside chatting, out of the clear blue, our neighbor shared he bought a Nebulizer in case he got Covid. Neither Larry nor I had ever heard of a Nebulizer and were now curious and wondered if this would help with his sinus problem.

Our neighbor said, “I haven’t opened the box yet, would you like me to bring it over to see if you like it?” We both said, “Yes.”

The very next day, Larry was talking with a friend who was having some health challenges. She had no idea that Larry was struggling with his sinuses. As she shared what was going on with her health issues she said, “I bought a Nebulizer and it’s really helping me.” Spirit was getting our attention and perhaps providing a solution to Larry’s sinus problems.

The next day, I was sharing with my son, Tim, about the neighbor and friend telling us about the Nebulizer and he said, “Mom, I have one too and I just got it out of my storage unit to use it again. It really works and has helped me.”

I wondered WHY we had never heard about the Nebulizer until now? I don’t know the answer and I’m letting go of the WHY. What is important is that it has come to our attention now and I trust it will work for Larry as it has for his friend and my son.

Respect is important

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Whether it be in a partnership, marriage, friendship, business, or parent-child relationship, it is crucial to have RESPECT as the foundation. I may not agree with someone’s actions and may even be concerned that it is not healthy for them, but I am learning to TRUST it’s their journey, and they are doing the best they can, and will learn their lessons in their own time and own way. If I want peace in my life, I practice detaching with love. I choose to RESPECT AND TRUST others’ decisions and where they are at. I want that same RESPECT in my relationships.

I was really touched by a text my son, Tim, sent to the family after his visit to Rhode Island a few weeks ago:

“Every time I visit, I realize how grateful I am for each of you. I remember how the vast majority of people do not have what we share. Especially since the pandemic. I’ve had 2 close friends be ostracized from their families because of different opinions on the vaccine. We may not agree on everything, but we can agree that we love one another and that is enough.”

What Tim is talking about is RESPECTING ONE ANOTHER even when we disagree on things. It truly saddens my heart that the pandemic and getting the vaccine or not getting it has caused so much division in families and friendships. Rather than judging and making others wrong for their decisions, I believe the world needs more respect, compassion, and kindness. 

I asked myself some interesting questions:

·        If I didn’t respect myself, can I expect others to respect me?

·        Can I respect others if I don’t respect myself? 

If I don’t respect myself and what’s important to me, others will not respect me and I don’t think we can respect others when we don’t respect ourselves. It all begins with Me.

Growing up in a dysfunctional family, like so many of us, I didn’t know anything about self-love, self-respect, or self-appreciation.  It’s taken me years to learn and practice the importance of self-love, self-respect, and self-appreciation. My daily affirmation is “I am honored, respected, valued, appreciated, and loved.” 

What I have learned is that I teach people how to treat me. When I don’t set healthy boundaries and say enough is enough to inappropriate behaviors, I continue to allow myself to be disrespected. It takes courage to say NO MORE when we feel disrespected by another’s behaviors and actions.

I felt disrespected and angry this week when I spoke up to a friend about something that was important to me. I journaled and allowed myself to feel all of my feelings. I sensed my anger was out of proportion to the incident that happened.

As I meditated and prayed, Spirit brought to mind something that happened to me at 11 years old when I stayed after school to help the teacher mark papers. As I was leaving the classroom, he pushed me against the wall and tried to kiss me and touch my breasts. I never went back after school again. Instead of telling my parents or the school authorities, I buried it.  

I allowed myself to feel the anger of being abused and not respected so many years ago. I didn’t know any better at the time and didn’t respect myself. I didn’t realize that I had pushed the anger down until the incident with a friend happened this week. After doing my anger work and releasing it, I felt freer, lighter, and transformed. Everything is coming into the LIGHT to be healed and transformed.

It is called the Ascension process and a “spiritual awakening which moves us into a higher level of consciousness. The more we grow spiritually, the more our energy increases, and the more we will understand how perfectly everything is orchestrated. We are becoming more heart centered, compassionate and creative, and is also opening to greater cosmic consciousness.  

How about you? Do you feel loved, respected, appreciated, and valued in all of your relationships? If not, why not? Remember, it all starts with YOU. If you want others to respect you, you must love, appreciate and respect yourself first.

I was triggered

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“The spiritual life is a lot like gardening. We till and cultivate the garden of our heart, planting seeds of presence, openness, and the ability to respect whatever arises. We water each one so the things which are beautiful in us can blossom.” Jack Kornfield

We must pull up the ROOTS if we don’t want weeds growing in our “inner garden.” Your mind is like a garden, your thoughts are the seeds, the harvest can either be flowers or weeds.” Your choice.

When I get triggered like I did this week, I see it as an opportunity to recognize what weeds are growing in my garden. It’s also a gift if I’m willing to dig deep and get to the ROOT of the problem and pull out the weeds.

Rather than blaming, judging, shaming the person who triggered me or withdrawing and being resentful, I eventuallytook responsibility for my behaviors and reactions.

I was triggered by what one of my sons said to me. I immediately REACTED and said what was on my mind and it wasn’t pretty! At the moment, I didn’t see it as a gift or opportunity. I felt hurt, angry, saddened, and judged by my son. My ego was alive and well as I told myself a “story” about our relationship that wasn’t true.

 I journaled and allowed myself to feel it all, without judging myself or my feelings. I knew that allowing myself to really go into the sadness and anger would enable me to release it and EXPAND. I shared it with Larry and that helped get it up and out. He was loving and compassionate and didn’t try to fix me.

The next morning, I spent time alone to go within. I felt a lot of pain as tears flowed down my cheeks. I wanted to get to the ROOT of the problem. As a child, I could never PLEASE my mother and didn’t feel good enough no matter how hard I tried.

Whenever we are triggered by what someone does or says to us, it can be an indication that there is something inside of us that needs healing and transformation. I reacted strongly to my son’s remark and projected this unhealed pain still inside of me on him.  Rather than looking outside and expecting my son to give me what I needed or wanted, I knew I needed to give it to myself. I am the only one that can heal deep mother wounds, no matter how many years it takes.


I was given the opportunity to give myself the love, understanding, respect, compassion, and appreciation that I wanted from my son. Of course, it’s human nature to want all of the above from our children, but I cannot control what others do or don’t do.

After getting to the ROOT and pulling out the weeds (negative thoughts), I felt free and alive. I have never done this before, but I called my son and said, “Thank you for triggering me yesterday.” He was surprised and wasn’t even sure what I was talking about at first. We laughed and he said, “Your welcome mom, anytime.” I took responsibility for my reaction and being triggered.

A message from Spirit:

Dear Patricia, you are a miracle how you have grown and transformed your life. I’m so proud of you for your positive attitude, your faith, and how you are a vessel of love. Nothing and no one can take that away from you. Don’t let the remark from your son take your peace and power away. He loves you. Let it go. You just keep loving and living your life the way you do. All is well.

Thank you, Spirit for the willingness and grace to DIG deep and free myself from beliefs and behaviors that no longer serve me. I am choosing flowers rather than weeds in my garden. How about you? What are you choosing?

Living on Maui for 10 years

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Ten years ago, I heard Spirit say, “I don’t want you to do anything. I want you to learn how to BE.” I didn’t understand it and didn’t like it because I thought I knew how to BE.

Last week was the 10th year anniversary of moving to Maui. It took courage and the willingness to follow my heart and trust it was the voice of Spirit guiding me to move 5,000 miles away from family, friends, and community. When I moved to Maui it was MY PLAN to continue doing what I loved; leading retreats, spiritual coaching, and inspirational speaking.

God had another plan and I’m grateful I listened. Isn’t that always the way? It’s like I had to make a course correction. By the grace of God, I didn’t do “anything” I thought I would be doing. If I hadn’t listened and allowed my ego and fear to tell me all the reasons I couldn’t/shouldn’t just learn how to BE, I would have missed out on the greatest love story.

Instead of rushing and pushing myself to do more, and be more, I relaxed and took long walks on the ocean and learned to enjoy simple things like sitting and watching the sunset, listening to music and dancing in the house, or reading a book in the afternoon. I listen to my body and what it needs instead of running around and trying to save the world.

Can you give yourself permission to “waste time” and do nothing without feeling guilty? It’s taken me years, but I am learning to “waste time” without feeling guilty. “Wasting time” has become a way of life and I love the quiet and peace deep in my heart that it offers. I enjoy spending time with my best friend, ME. I have learned to enjoy my own company because I know the most important relationship, I have is with myself.

Today, I sat on my lanai for a few hours looking at the ocean, feeling the sun on my face, and listening to the birds. It truly was BEING in the present moment with no agenda, just ENJOYING and doing what I wanted. It was glorious. I don’t push myself to do something if it doesn’t feel right, especially if I’m doing it to please another.

Growing up, I often heard “Hurry up” and never heard, “Take your time.” Consequently, I became a rushaholic/busyaholic. As I look back on my life, I admit my drug of choice was staying busy, rushing, and pushing myself to do more because inside I never felt good enough. Rushing became a way of life for me. Rushing puts you into adrenaline overload and drenches the body with epinephrine, a hormone stimulated by stress, anger, or fear. Although on the “outside” I looked like I had it together, there was an “inner rusher” that was pervasive and intense. I had the image of myself as a racehorse always ready to take off at the gate.

As an addict uses his/her drug of choice to medicate their feelings, I used rushing and staying busy to medicate my feelings of self-hatred, loneliness, not being good enough, fear, and anger.

When I rushed and stayed busy, I didn’t have to feel my feelings and go within. I felt energized and in control when I rushed and powerful when I multi-tasked. I disconnected from myself and from the energy of God within when I rushed and stayed busy to avoid going within.

The key to living a balanced life is to DO and BE. I had it backward. I had to Do-Do-Do before I could give myself permission to relax and BE. Since I have learned how to BE and enjoy my life without guilt and pressure, I am aligned with Spirit and create from my heart.

What is your addiction and how do you medicate your feelings? Do you feel guilty when you relax and enjoy your life thinking you “should” be more productive and DO more?

May the God of the present moment be with you, slowing you down, revealing to you the sacred gift hidden in each moment of your day. May you develop a reflective heart, able to be present to life, a heart that can take time to move beyond the visible to touch the precious mystery of life and living.

Wow, mom, you have changed

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I was enjoying a cup of coffee with my friend, Ruth, when she turned to me and said, “Pat, I have never seen you so strong. It’s like you are comfortable in your own skin.” I smiled and said, “Yes I feel it, I know it.” Recently my daughter remarked, “Wow mom, you have changed.” I just smiled and said, “Thank you.”

As I look back over my life, I realize how much suffering I caused myself and gave my power away because I took things personally. Even though I knew “intellectually” that what others did or didn’t do had nothing to do with me, I still felt hurt and unloved when I didn’t get what I thought I needed and wanted. And I mean really HURT sometimes.

I also thought it must be my fault and blamed myself for others’ inappropriate or careless behavior. I would ask myself, “What did I do wrong?” I caused myself so much anguish and pain over the years. Sometimes traveling from the head to the heart takes a long time. My heart now knows the truth of who I am as a divine being and that I am LOVE. It truly is an inside job and I’m responsible for my own happiness and peace.    

It is wonderful when someone you have known for years sees your growth and shares it with you. But even more wonderful is when you see it in yourself and OWN it. It’s taken me years to get to this place. I was willing to dig deep, align with Spirit, ask for help, and do the inner work of releasing what no longer served me.

My cousin, Doreen, recently gifted me with a reading from a medium and psychic that she knew. It was a powerful reading and my grandmother showed up immediately. Right before the reading as I was driving home from a friend’s house, I spotted a boat with the name AMELIA on it. That was my grandmother’s name. My grandmother gave me unconditional love and I was her angel. She assured me of her love and that she is always with me.

Toward the end of the reading, Don asked me, “Is there anything you want to know or that I can help you with?” I immediately said, “No, I have everything I need and want.” I was pleasantly surprised by my answer. In the past, I would have had all kinds of questions: How is it going to happen, when is it going to happen, what is my purpose, etc.

At the beginning of 2021, Spirit gave me a word to focus on for the year. It was EXPANSION in all areas of my life.  I had no idea what it would look like. I feel a major SHIFT and truly have expanded in body, mind, and spirit. My body is healthy and strong as well as my mind and spirit. I no longer look “outside” of myself for approval and to feel loved as I have learned to give it to myself. My relationship with Spirit has deepened and I “check-in” for guidance and direction all day long.  

This year’s word is FLOW and ABUNDANCE. Going with the FLOW of life and radical acceptance of “what is” will anchor me into the present moment and my heart space. I feel so abundant now, I can’t imagine more abundance, but I will take it.  

Here is what I read this week that spoke to my heart:

“The biggest lesson I’ve learned this year is to not force anything; conversations, friendships, relationships, attention, love. Anything forced is just not worth fighting for, whatever flows, flows, what crashes, crashes. It is what it is.”

I received an email from a man this week requesting coaching/counseling. He said, “I have been reading your blogs for the last 10 years and feel like you are the person who can help me move forward in my life.” I responded to his email with some questions. I asked, “Why now?” He wrote back. “If not now, when?”

If you feel stuck and are not living the life you dream of, I am here to assist you on your journey. I am only working with individuals who are ready to dig deep and do the inner work of releasing what no longer serves them. If not NOW, when?

                                                   I HOPE YOU LIVE LOUDER

“I hope you laugh more. I hope you sing at the top of your lungs. I hope you drive with the windows down and let the wind rustle through your hair. I hope you hug. I hope you kiss. I hope you surround yourself with people who make you feel alive. I hope you become the type of person that brings good energy wherever you go, and the type of person people want to be around. I hope you speak what’s on your mind, that you raise your voice for injustice, that you tell others that you love them, instead of waiting until it’s too late. I hope you live louder, shine brighter from this moment on”. Marisa Donnelly

You are an angel

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About 40 years ago I received an anonymous gift in my mailbox that changed my life and deepened my faith and trust in God. My hope is that you will be inspired and your faith strengthened as you read the following story.

I love to share the story of my “God-blouse”.  My husband had been unemployed for a year, and we had four children under the age of ten. I remember how humiliated I felt when we had to apply for welfare and food stamps.

On the day that I bought my “God-blouse,” I had some time to kill as I waited to pick up the children from school. Even though I didn’t have money to buy anything, I could still window shop. I spotted the clearance sign at the back of the store and quickly walked over to the clothing rack. I had no intention of buying anything, but the blouse jumped out at me. I fell in love with it and it was only ten dollars.

As I reluctantly placed it back on the rack, I heard the small, still voice of God say, “BUY IT AND I WILL PROVIDE.” I pulled out my wallet to see how much money I had. I had a ten-dollar bill tucked away in the billfold.

“God, did I hear you right, or was that just me wanting the blouse?” Was my imagination running wild? I thought, “If I spend the money on a blouse, where will I get the money to buy milk and bread on the way home?”

I wanted to believe it was God, but could I trust myself? My gut was saying, “Trust God and buy the blouse.” I decided to buy the blouse.

I picked up the children from school and drove directly home (not saying anything about my purchase). I grabbed the mail from the mailbox as I walked into the house, hoping there weren’t any bills.

There was a letter with no return address on it. I quickly opened it, eager to see what was inside of it. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the crisp new ten-dollar bill tucked inside the notecard. As I read the simple but profound message written in the card, I started to tremble from head to foot.

Oh my God, I shouted as the tears streamed down my cheeks. I frantically searched for a name, but there wasn’t any. Sprawled across the handwritten note was simply,

To Pat,   From the Son of a Carpenter

Filled with awe and gratitude, I couldn’t stop laughing and crying at the same time. God provides, but I didn’t expect it so dramatically and so quickly. I still don’t know who sent the card and money-and probably never will.  The person who sent it listened to the small, still voice of God and took action. 

It’s Christmas day and I just returned home from my walk with Kobi after I heard the small, still voice of God and took action. A few days ago, as I was getting out of bed, I heard Spirit say, “I will guide you to the person I want you to give $50 to.”

Even though it was on my mind about the $50 in my purse, I kind of forgot about it until today. I was driving my car and spotted a car pulled over to the side of the road waiting to watch the sunset. I immediately heard, “This is the person I want you to give the $50 to.”

I drove past the car and pulled over to go within and make sure I heard Spirit. I turned my car around and pulled up next to the woman who was now sitting outside waiting for sunset. I called the woman over to my car and handed her the $50 bill. She was so grateful and appreciative.

I wondered if she was living in her car and asked her what was going on. She said, “I was a registered nurse and lost my home at the beginning of October. I have many friends and I’m staying with them and trying to save money for another home.”

She was a beautiful soul and her name was Grace. We exchanged numbers and plan on keeping in contact. What a joy it is for me to hear the small, still voice of God and trust it is Spirit. It has taken many years to trust that voice and take action.  

The small, still voice of God is within you. Do you trust the voice or think it’s your voice? I encourage you to spend quiet time and connect with the Spirit within. Your voice, love and light are needed in the world.

What I see in you is in me

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Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to all of you who read my blog every week. I appreciate your support and love. It’s hard to believe the year is almost over. It’s been quite a year and many are happy to see the year-end.

We have been encouraged to “go within” to surrender, to trust, and to “accept what is” and what we can and can’t control. I can’t control the government or vaccines or mandates. I can control and am responsible for my reactions, keeping myself in peace and my vibration high in love and gratitude. I do what I can and leave the rest to Spirit.

I met with a couple of friends this week for a holiday celebration and the question was posed, “What are you most proud of this year?” I said, “I am most proud of my EXPANSION and my ability to love and connect with others. I know we are all connected and ONE.

I feel such joy walking in the morning on the path overlooking the ocean and looking people in the eyes and saying, “Good morning.” I often start a conversation and know many locals by name. They remember my name as I am called Pat with the hat.  A woman asked if she could take my picture because she loved my hat and wanted to show her friend.

A couple of weeks ago, while sitting outside at the coffee shop, a woman (who I had never seen before) walked by and looked me in the eyes and said, “You are amazing, you are amazing.” I thanked her and wondered what she meant?

A couple of minutes later the woman walked by me again. I decided to ask her what she meant when she said, “You are amazing.” She said, “I’m German and my words aren’t always correct. What I meant to say is that I see your aura. I said, “You mean my light?” She said, “Yes.”

I was so touched I just sat there smiling and in gratitude that my light was bright enough for someone to comment about it. About 15 minutes later, the woman walked by again and handed me a beautifully wrapped bag of cookies from the bakery. She bent down so I could hear her and said, “You are an angel.”

I took a deep breath and allowed myself to take in her words. I said, “Thank you so much and what you see in others is also in you. You are also an angel.” We chatted briefly and she said she owned the bakery shop a few doors down from the coffee shop.

I floated for the rest of the day thinking about what she said. Was I really an angel? My grandmother nicknamed me “angel.”  Are we all angels in disguise?

What I do know in my heart is that we are here to walk each other home to the truth of who we are. We are divine and human and not separate from one another. We are connected to Source, God, Universe, or whatever you choose to call the Power. We are loved, safe, and protected.

I went to the bakery a couple of days later to drop off a thank you card to Christine for the cookies, and most importantly that she recognized me. She was behind the counter when I walked into the bakery. She immediately ran around and gave me a big hug. We looked deeply into one another’s eyes as I said, “Thank you for recognizing who I am.” I don’t know anything about this woman, and yet I know everything about her by just looking into her eyes. It was such a powerful experience for both of us.  

I went to the farmers market on Saturday and there were many vendors with hand-made Maui gift items for sale. I bought a small Christmas angel for Christine and brought it to her at the bakery shop. She was touched as we again just looked into each other’s eyes. What a blessing. We plan on visiting after the holidays as we both know we are meant to get to know one another.   

What I see in YOU is in ME. What you see in ME is in YOU. Claim it, celebrate it, believe it, and live it. We are all angels in disguise. We are needed on this earth to BE the light that shines in the darkness. Let your light shine and let the fun begin!

Kobi is a new dog

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For the past year, I have been working with Cindy Kerr, the Health Diviner at (intuitive healer) for my healing and health issues. With her guidance and wisdom and my willingness to do what I needed to do, my symptoms have improved significantly and I have more energy to enjoy my life. Cindy Kerr is the “real deal” and is extremely knowledgeable, generous and kind.

For the past month or so, we have been concerned about our little dog Kobi as he has been exhibiting strange behaviors. When he was re-homed to us 7 months ago, he appeared calm and healthy. We had very little information about him from his previous owner.

Even though he was a “senior” dog (11 years old) we fell in love with him as soon as we laid eyes on him. He was a perfect size, cute and friendly. He loves to sit with Larry and me and always wants to be with us.

We were quite surprised when he became “aggressive” with a man who tried to pet him while we were sitting outside at a coffee shop. His past owner told us he was partial to women so we wondered if he had some abuse with a male in the past. We were very careful whenever a male was around because we weren’t sure what he would do. He’s a small dog and we thought he was being protective.  

Larry takes Kobi for his morning walk and was surprised when he started barking and became aggressive with other dogs (without being provoked) walking with their owners on the other side of the street.  

We became very concerned when Kobi started to shake for no reason and get startled without any provocation. He would be sleeping on the couch and all of a sudden jump off and run away. We had no idea what was going on and wondered if he was having some kind of seizures. We had an appointment with the vet in a few weeks so we were waiting for the visit.

In the meantime, I contacted Cindy and asked if she would do an energy check on Kobi since everything is energy. She reads the quantum energy fields of her clients to determine what’s really underlying the issues that are presenting physically. Her website says “Our furry friends are empathic which means they feel and often take on vibrations from their owners out of love, loyalty, concern, and care. This somatically expresses in their bodies – just like in human bodies – as physical illnesses. I had no idea that Cindy worked with animals until after I contacted her about Kobi and checked her website.

Cindy checked in and saw that Kobi was carrying his past owner’s energy and that was why he was exhibiting the above aggressive and fearful behaviors. She identified the specific energies he was carrying and guided me to do an energetic cleanse on Kobi. It sounds crazy, but I believed in her and was desperate to help our little Kobi.

It’s been over 2 weeks now and Kobi is a new dog. I noticed the changes in him immediately. He doesn’t jump off the couch startled and afraid anymore. I have been taking him for walks since Larry fell and wasn’t sure how he would be when another dog approached. I am thrilled that he hasn’t been aggressive and doesn’t bark when another dog passes.

He’s also been in the company of men and is not aggressive. In fact, he licked the hand of a man who previously he stayed away from.

We are grateful to Cindy for her gifts and this energetic clearing for Kobi. If Kobi could talk, he would say “Thank you, Cindy. I feel so much better not to be so afraid and aggressive.”

If you or your furry animal are having health or behavioral issues and want to get to the bottom of things, I encourage you to check out Cindy’s website.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
621 Laniolu Place Kihei, HI 96753