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To know the truth of who I am

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I was dumbfounded when the first thing my 3-year-old grandson said on the phone was, “Why did you move away grandma?” I have no idea what I said.

Since the phone call, I have pondered this question for myself. I moved away:

  • To follow my heart and to do God’s will
  • To be an inspiration for others to follow their heart
  • To come home to myself and to the God within
  • To experience peace that passes all understanding
  • To know the truth of who I am. I am LOVE
  • To experience profound and true love with my husband
  • To heal and transform childhood trauma and abuse
  • To experience daily miracles and deeper forgiveness

Although my grandson could never understand this at his age, I’m living proof to my children and grandchildren that following your heart always brings you home to yourself and to the God within. Someday, they will remember that their grandmother had the courage, strength, and grace to live her dream and a life that was purposeful and fulfilling. There is not a better legacy that I could leave them.

As I think about all that has transpired these past 14 years since I wrote my first book, “Simply a Woman of Faith“, I am amazed and grateful at how far I have come. I remember a dream that I had while in the process of writing the book (which took me 7 years to write because I didn’t believe anyone would read it). I went to bed crying hysterically with fear about writing a book. I kept saying to God, “I can’t do it, I don’t know what I’m doing, you’ve chosen the wrong person.”  

I had a vivid dream that night that touched me deeply. I was walking up a staircase that was leading to heaven. When I reached the top, there was a beautiful star. I reached out my hand to touch the star and I became the star. An affirmation was born that I still repeat to myself. “I am a star that shines brightly to lead others to the God within.”

A couple of weeks ago, I met a mother and daughter while swimming at the Marriott pool. As we started to talk, Linda and Elizabeth shared they were together to grieve the death of their mother and grandmother a few months prior. It was so beautiful seeing them together and the love they had for one another.  

Elizabeth (the granddaughter) turned to me and said, “What is your story?” I love to share my story with whoever will listen. Of course, I started with how I moved to Maui by myself and knew that I would meet my soulmate. I also shared that we had just published our book, “It’s Never Too Late for Love.” They asked, “How can we get your books?” I met them the next day and they each bought a copy of both books.  

I received a text this week from Elizabeth. Here is what she wrote:

“I am currently on page 35 of your book “Simply a Woman of Faith” and I am just blown away by the work that God has done in your life. It’s incredible how God opens doors just when we think adversity has won. You have truly inspired me to listen more to God’s voice and lean more on Him rather than my own understanding, just as it says in proverbs. I am making more time now to read your book as part of my morning routine and I love how it makes me feel to make God a priority first thing in the morning. Your light shined when we met you and it continues to do so. Linda wants to order 6 books for her church group friends. May God continue to use you and bless you.”

I’m grateful and my heart sings that God has used me as His instrument to help and inspire others to go within and deepen their relationship to Spirit. I’m grateful I had the courage to face my fears and didn’t allow fear to rob me and keep me stuck.

“I am a star that shines brightly to lead others to the God within.”

I had to detach

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My friend and I met for our morning swim and chat on the beach. When I asked her, “How are you doing?” She replied, “Not very well. I’m worried about my brother who divorced his wife after 45 years of marriage.” I shared, “I’m concerned about my brother too. He fell several months ago and hurt his back. He’s not doing well.”

My brother has been in recovery for alcohol and drugs for almost 30 years. He was prescribed Percocet for the pain. As a therapist for 20 years treating addicts, I know how addictive this medication can be. I saw the devastation this drug caused for patients when they were prescribed it for their pain. My brother, up until now, wouldn’t go near this because he also knew how addictive it was.

I recently spoke to my brother, who lives 5000 miles away and I haven’t seen him in 10 years. I felt uneasy when I got off the phone as he didn’t seem himself. I didn’t know if he was abusing the Percocet and he didn’t appear open to discuss it.  Of course, I’m concerned about my brother and if he will be ok.

I’m allowing myself to feel my feelings and process them. I’m angry at this disease that has robbed my family for years. I’m sad that after 30 years of staying sober, he may be struggling with addiction.

As my friend and I shared, I said, “I refuse to allow anyone or anything to rob me of my peace. I have worked hard to get to this place in my life that I have co-created with God and I’m not willing to focus on something or someone that I have no control over.”

Instead of worrying, feeling fear, and trying to fix, I choose to pray and send love and light. I choose to trust Spirit that it is my brother’s journey and he has lessons he needs to learn. I wonder why we think we know what’s best for our friends and family? Worrying is an illusion and doesn’t do any good. When we worry, we think we have some kind of control.

I know what it’s like to have my mind feel like a blender that I can’t shut off. I know what it’s like to be awake at night ruminating about a problem that I have no control over. I’ve been there and done that and don’t want to do it anymore. It doesn’t work for me and never has.

Instead, I have learned to detach with love. I detach emotionally and don’t allow myself to get sucked into the moods and behaviors of those I love. When my mind is racing, I repeat DETACH until I feel calm and peaceful. There were times that I had to say it many times before my mind shut off. Detachment doesn’t mean disinterest. It truly is respecting another person’s journey and choices.

My time is sacred to waste living in the future or worrying about something I have no power over. I continue to focus on myself and what’s important to me. I have learned to let go of other people’s problems instead to trying to fix them.

I can detach and still love and still feel. I have learned to take care of my own problems while allowing others to take care of theirs. Today I detach with loving compassion. When I detach with love, I offer support by freeing those I care about to experience both the disappointments and successes in life.

Are you concerned or worried about a loved one? I encourage you to practice detaching emotionally and trusting it is their journey and lessons to learn.

 “I refuse to allow anyone or anything to rob me of my peace and well-being. I have worked hard to get to this place in my life that I have co-created with God and I’m not willing to focus on something or someone that I have no control over.”

It felt like I was on drugs

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I woke up in the middle of the night and felt high, like I was on drugs. But it wasn’t drugs, it was LOVE. I was high on LOVE feeling deep peace, gratitude and happiness. I knew it had to do with Kobe, our new fur baby family member. I can’t wait to see him first thing in the morning and give him love.

Kobe experienced some separation anxiety the first couple of days and followed Larry around like gum on a shoe. He sat at his feet in the kitchen while cooking and followed him everywhere, even to the bathroom.

By the fourth day, Kobe had found his special spots to sleep and was relaxed. He could not be a more perfect dog. It was like he was hand-picked from heaven. He doesn’t bark or beg for food. He is sweet, gentle, smart, house trained, loves to sit on our laps and be rubbed and go for long walks. His energy is peaceful expressing unconditional love.

I wondered, did he find us or did we find him? I think we attracted one another. I was curious and asked his past owner, “How long did you have him on Craigslist?”  I was shocked when she said, “I put him on in February.” We adopted him May 18th. I don’t know why he wasn’t adopted, other than he was meant for us and nothing could stop God’s perfect plan.

What I know in my heart, without a doubt, is that whatever is intended for us, will not go by us. I don’t have to force, push, or rush things to happen. When I live in faith and trust God is in charge, everything flows with peace, ease and grace and in God’s timing.

How often did I worry and fret and cause unnecessary suffering and stress because I wasn’t patient and wanted what I wanted and I wanted it NOW. Over the years, I have learned to relax, wait and be patient. God’s plan is so much better than my plan.

When Larry made a trip to Costco for dog food and treats, I could sense Kobe was unsettled since it was the first time Larry had left the house without him. He walks 2 ½ miles every morning with Larry. He sat at the front door and then ran to the computer room where he usually sits at Larry’s feet.

I decided to lay on the couch to see if I could settle him down. At first, he laid at my feet and then came up and snuggled at my side. When he put his little head on my arm and fell asleep, I was in heaven. We laid there together for 1 ½ hours while I rubbed his neck and head.

Although I had “plans” and things I wanted to get done while Larry was gone, there was nothing more important or no place else that I wanted to be than where I was. I couldn’t move, nor did I want to move. It truly was blissful to be in the present moment and experience deep love and gratitude.

I felt like I was in the presence of God. When I allow myself to rest in the presence of God, I experience deep peace, knowing I am being taken care of, all is well and I am safe. It was such a powerful experience that I wondered how much pleasure do we give God when we trust and rest in His presence? Something that I will ponder.

God’s unconditional love is always available to us 24/7. It will never fail us or abandon us. All we need to do is ASK, trust and believe.

Animals have the ability to give unconditional love, no matter how we treat them. It’s another example of God’s unconditional love for us, no matter what we do or don’t do.

Larry says, “God is loving me through Pat and God is loving Pat through me.” All the love we ever feel is God loving us. When Kobe lovingly stares at us, it is God loving us through Kobe.

I feel so grateful and blessed for this opportunity to give and receive “doggie” love.  My daily affirmation:  Feel free to use it for yourself.

“I am worthy and deserving to enjoy and celebrate this amazing life that I have co-created with God. It flows with love, peace, grace, joy, happiness, gratitude, prosperity, abundance and radiant health.”

We celebrated our 4 year anniversary

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About 6 months ago I said to Larry, “I would love for us to get a small dog, what do you think?” He said, “I know who would end up doing all the work.” He was probably right and dropped it. I wasn’t even sure our landlord would approve.

I have learned that when I make a suggestion or have an idea to do something different with Larry, he needs to sit with it and think about it. I don’t push, nag, drop hints because I know if it’s meant to be, it will be.

Last week we celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary. The week before our anniversary, when I came home from my walk, Larry called me into the computer room and said, “Look what I found on line. I was thinking of surprising you for our anniversary. I decided to show you to see what you thought.”

 It was the cutest little white Maltese dog. I couldn’t believe that it was still available since small dogs on Maui are in high demand. Larry filled out the application and waited for a call from the agency. The woman called the next day and said, “There are 2 dogs and they have to stay together. They were both 11 years old and one was partly blind and deaf.” It didn’t sound like a fit.

I was so touched that Larry wanted to surprise me with a dog for our anniversary. I had no idea he was even thinking about it.  I started to affirm, “The perfect and right dog is here now.” I felt relaxed, peaceful, detached and knew that the dog would show up.

Larry was chatting with his son and told him we were thinking of adopting a dog and he suggested looking on Craigslist. A couple of days later, Larry sends me an email with a picture of a dog while on my walk. “What do you think of this small dog?” 

He wasn’t exactly what I was thinking of, but he looked adorable. I was open and said, “Yes, I would like to see him.” Larry called the number in the ad and we made an appointment for the next day. We met the owner and “Rosko” in an empty parking lot in town. We were both kind of nervous and felt like we were adopting a baby. It’s a big commitment and responsibility that we would take seriously. It had been several decades that we had dogs.

As soon as Rosko jumped out of the car, we both fell in love. I could feel Larry’s enthusiasm when he said, “He’s the perfect size for us.” He’s 13 pounds, 11 years old, in perfect health and loves walks, people and other dogs. When I picked him up to hold him, he licked me with my mask on. Rosko’s owner is moving to China and has to rehome him.

We often have to wait and be patient for our prayers to be answered. I had to wait 15 years to meet my beloved, Larry. God’s timing is never early, never late, but always right on time.

It’s been less than 2 weeks since Larry had the “divine idea” to adopt a small dog. I asked Rosko’s owner, “How long has the ad been on Craigslist?” She said, “It’s been on awhile and I wasn’t in a rush. I wanted to find the right home for Rosko. There have been many inquiries, but they didn’t work out.”

God saved Rosko for us and the timing was perfect. My intention and prayer, “The right and perfect dog is here NOW” was answered. We are very excited to welcome Rosko into our family. It feels like a match made in heaven. Here’s the process that worked for me.

* Ask for what you want

* Believe you will receive it

* Affirm what you want (the perfect dog is here now)

* Wait for God’s timing – never late, never early

* Be patient or try to make things happen

* Detach from outcome

* Trust in God’s divine plan and timing

Everything happens for me, not to me

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Many years ago, my best friend said to me, “Pat, you are very defensive.”  Can you guess how I responded? I said, “What do you mean? I’m not defensive.” Isn’t it amazing when we are unconscious or not awake that we don’t recognize behaviors in ourselves that are unhealthy? I truly wasn’t aware how defensive I was until she confronted me and I became willing to look at myself.

It has taken me years of “undoing” behaviors that didn’t serve me or anyone else. Whenever I am defensive, I am living from a victim consciousness and forgetting the truth of who I am as a divine being and loved unconditionally.

A victim consciousness is believing things and experiences happen TO me, not FOR me. It’s poor me, nothing works out for me, why me, etc. It’s about blaming others, manipulation, taking things personally and always wanting to be right or having the last word. It’s about reacting, rather than responding.

When I REMEMBER that everything happens FOR me, I am trusting that the Universe is working on my behalf and often behind the scenes.

  • It’s knowing that everything is already planned in the mind of God and nothing is against me.
  • It’s knowing that I can relax, trust, surrender and enjoy my life.
  • It’s knowing Spirit wants only my happiness and that I am loved.
  • It’s knowing that everything that happens and every button that is pushed is a gift.

My buttons were pushed this week and I had the opportunity to practice not reacting, but responding in love.

Growing up, I was a people pleaser. I didn’t speak up, say no, ask for what I wanted, set boundaries and expected my loved ones to read my mind. Can you relate?

We often teach what we need to learn. I learned assertiveness skills and asked for what I wanted and deserved. When I worked as a therapist at the VA hospital, I taught weekly assertiveness groups for years. Little did the patients know how I was learning and practicing right along with them.

As I learned new assertiveness skills, I spoke up about EVERYTHING. When you are learning a new skill or behavior, the pendulum often swings to one direction until it gets back into balance. It was empowering to speak up, not be a doormat, and not be afraid to say no or set a boundary. My children didn’t particularly like my new behaviors as they liked getting their own way.

In our marriage, my having “to be right” and have the last word still shows up at times. Rather than always “speaking up” I’m practicing “shutting up” and not REACTING. Here is what happened:

I was cooking something in the oven and it wasn’t done for another 10 minutes. I had an appointment and had to leave the house. I asked Larry, “Would you please take it out of the oven when it is done?” He agreed and I didn’t think it was a big deal because he is always helpful and was preparing something in the kitchen.  

When I returned home, I thanked him and said, “I appreciate you cleaning up everything.” He politely and appropriately said, “I would appreciate it in the future if you didn’t leave the house with things in the oven.”

I quietly said, “OK.” This was NEW behavior for me because it was not what I wanted to say. I was so angry and wanted to blast him. I asked God for help, let go and surrendered to “what is.”

Instead of REACTING with words that I would have regretted, I RESPONDED with love and said, “OK.” I quietly went to the bedroom and wrote my anger until it was all out of me and then ripped the paper up. I don’t think Larry even knew I was angry.

When we came together that night, I was completely free with no residual from the incident. In the past, I would have had to share my experience and discuss what happened. I felt peaceful and didn’t have to say a word. I will speak my truth with what is important and let go of what isn’t.  

A few days later as we were chatting about something unrelated to what happened, Larry commented, “I noticed that you didn’t REACT when I was feeling out of sorts this week. Thank you.”

I’m grateful for the grace to continually look at my behaviors and am willing to change. I’m responsible for my happiness and peace.

She truly was an angel

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I called Kristie on Friday to see how things were going and asked, “What do you need? I’m going to yard sales tomorrow.” Kristie bought an unfurnished condo and is moving to Maui in 10 days. She said, “There were many hurdles that I had to overcome, but I’m at peace and excited to make my dream come true for me and my children.”

Kristie is the woman I met on the “path” in February who I wrote about in my blog. It was Kristie’s dream and heart’s desire to move to Maui with her 3 children. She is truly a woman of faith and prayed only for God’s will. Although we only talked for 15 minutes on the path, we connected deeply and I knew, as a woman of faith, that I was to encourage her and share my story. We met the next day on the path and I gifted her with my book, Simply a Woman of Faith. I have supported her through telephone calls and texts until now.

Kristie and her children are coming here with NOTHING but their suitcases. The rest of their belongings may not get here for a week to 10 days. She sold most of her belongings, including furniture and kitchen stuff.

I asked Spirit to guide me to what Kristie needed when I got in my car to go “sailing.” It was Kristie’s faith and trust in God to provide for her and her willingness to receive that enabled me to experience a divine encounter and be a vessel of Love.  What a gift I received because I asked and God answered.

I almost missed the yard sale sign and almost didn’t turn around until I heard Spirit say, “Turn around.” When I walked into the yard sale, the first thing my eyes spotted were signs like LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED, FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS and SPARKLE (Larry’s nick name for me.) I knew I was at the right place. Following your dreams is what Kristie is doing and I did 10 years ago by moving to Maui.

I started a “pile” as the prices were just right. Kristie mentioned that she would like white plates. Of course, the first thing I spotted were white plates so I bought all 6.  I bought several things including towels, sheets, a lamp, and a plastic chest with drawers.

I shared Kristie’s story of moving to Maui alone with 3 kids with the woman holding the yard sale. We both had the chills. I told her I would be writing a blog about how God provided through her generosity. She said, “I have more clearing to do, I will call you.”

To say I was flying high and filled with gratitude about how God answered prayer and provided for Kristie would be an understatement. Jami and I were now on first name basis. I wanted to give back to her and went home to get our book, “It’s Never Too Late for Love.”

When I returned a couple of hours later to give her our book, she was thrilled and said she couldn’t wait to read it. She said, “Look around Pat and make a pile. I want Kristie to have whatever she needs.” OMG! She gave me a beautiful blue set of dishes and bowels, blankets, quilt, curtain rod and curtains, shower curtain and rod, kitchen towels and other goodies for the family. My car was filled to the brim. I came home and happily washed everything and folded.

Jami was truly an angel. It was like the perfect storm, but instead of it being a storm it was the perfect divine encounter.  Jami sold her house and needed to downsize and Kristie was moving into her home and needed everything. It truly was a divine set-up.

This story reminded me of what happened when I moved into our present home that was completely furnished 8 years ago. Prior to moving here, I lived in a 3 room ohana that was also furnished. I was “homeless” for a month while waiting for tenants to move out. Thankfully, friends opened their homes and hearts to me. A friend offered to store “my stuff” in a spare bedroom that she wasn’t using until I could sell it or give it away. I trusted God that I was being taken care of and provided for.

I received a call from my friend, Ellen, that a friend of hers had just been accepted into senior housing and she didn’t have anything. Ellen said, “I know you are moving; do you have anything you can contribute?” I sure did, a whole room of furniture and household goods. I was thrilled to give it to her friend and the friend was thrilled to receive it.

We are all connected. We are all ONE. We are always provided for. God is faithful. I feel so blessed and grateful to serve and be a vessel of love.

Your life is a sacred journey

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                                                    “YOUR LIFE IS A SACRED JOURNEY

And it is about change, growth, discovery, movement, transformation, continuously expanding your vision of what is possible, stretching your soul, learning to see clearly and deeply, listening to your intuition, taking courageous risks, embracing challenges at every step along the way.

                                                     YOU ARE ON THE PATH

Exactly where you are meant to be right now. And from here, you can only go forward, shaping your life story into a magnificent tale of triumph, of healing, of courage, beauty, wisdom, power, dignity, and love.”    Carolyn Joy Adams

This poem speaks to my heart about our sacred journey and that we are exactly where we are meant to be right now and we can only go forward into a magnificent life of healing, courage, beauty, wisdom, power dignity, and love.

Have you ever noticed that things often come in threes? It might be deaths, accidents, problems, and even good things. This is what I experienced this week.

Three of my friends moved off the island within a few weeks apart from one another.  I felt sad and miss their presence in my life. I’m trusting Spirit that we are all exactly where we are meant to be and that our journeys are about change, discovery, growth, and transformation. Life truly is about endings and beginnings.  What appears to be a loss is really the beginning of a happy new phase.

For the past 5 years, I have had the privilege of belonging to a women’s group called the Cardinals. We celebrated each other’s birthdays and spent holidays together. We went to breakfast, lunch, happy hours, and just played and had fun together. We loved and supported one another through prayer and just being present when one of us was struggling.

We still support and love one another, but my cardinal friends have all flown the nest to share aloha with the world.  I am the only cardinal left on the island. I miss my friends and special times together. I’m grateful that I’m still here to hold the energy of love and enjoy my sacred life. I don’t know how long I will be here, so I strive to live every moment to the fullest.

I know 3 people who died within the past 2 weeks. One woman was sick for a long time and the other man died suddenly at the age of 82. They both were bright lights in the community.

The third person who died was my dear friend, Ellen. Ellen was 93 and lived an incredibly full and joyful life. I met Ellen 12 years ago in Rhode Island while I was speaking at a church and she was visiting her family from Maui. My friend, Ruth introduced me to her after the service. When Ellen told me she lived on Maui, I said, “It’s always been my dream to VISIT Maui. She smiled and said, “You can stay with me and use my car.” I couldn’t pass up the offer.

I left my family at thanksgiving (which I had never done before) to stay 2 weeks with this woman I hardly knew named, Ellen. We had an amazing time together and became close friends.  She invited me back the next year for a month to stay in her condo overlooking the ocean while she traveled. The rest is HISTORY! I moved to Maui several months later.

I’m so grateful to Ellen for opening her heart and home to me. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her generosity and love. Ellen was one of a kind. She taught yoga at the senior center, was a volunteer at Hospice, and attended concerts and workshops all over the island.

Ellen lived life to the fullest and spread love and joy wherever she went. Because of her love and generosity, I have learned to give back when the opportunity presents itself.  She is home, free, and flying with the angels. Thank you, Ellen, for being my role model and sharing your love and life with me.  

I followed my heart to heal my heart

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I didn’t know it at the time, but I followed my heart to HEAL my heart 10 years ago when I moved to Maui and left family, friends, and community behind. I had been on an inward journey of healing deep wounds and loving myself for many years before moving to Maui. Although I made the best out of my earlier life, my childhood was difficult growing up with 2 alcoholic parents and being sexually abused by my father, a priest, and a teacher as an adolescent.

Would you agree that it takes great courage, trust, and a fearless spirit to follow your heart? Can you think of a time when you were fearless and followed your heart and it turned out better than you could have ever imagined or expected?

There was a “knowing” deep within my soul that it was God’s will for me to move to Maui and that I would be protected and provided for. God had a plan for me that was unfolding and designed down to the smallest detail for my highest good.

I believe it was GRACE that carried me across the ocean and continues to carry me in my daily life. “It is faith that steers us through stormy seas, faith that moves mountains and faith that jumps across the ocean.” Gandhi

Even though my soul knew what I needed and where I needed to go to find love and healing, I felt afraid because the voice in my head said, “Your crazy, it’s impossible, you don’t deserve to move to such a beautiful place and what kind of mother are you leaving your children and grandchildren?”

Even though my soul knew what I needed and where I needed to go to find love and healing, it wasn’t easy. There are consequences for our choices that affect the people we love. Even though my family was happy for me when I told them I was moving to Maui, they felt concerned, sad, and disappointed that I would be so far away and wouldn’t be there to celebrate holidays, birthdays, and special occasions. I want to thank my children for their love and support even though they may not have understood why I wanted to move 5000 miles away. I didn’t really understand it myself until recently.

It’s been difficult for me and my family being so far away and not seeing one another for two years because of Covid.  I’m thrilled that I will be returning to Rhode Island in August-September and will be celebrating my grandson’s wedding and my 75th birthday.

As I look back over the last 10 years of living on this beautiful island, I feel so blessed to call it home. This island has an energy that permeates love. LOVE has healed and transformed me from the inside out. I have never felt more connected and loved by God, more peaceful, and happier.

My heart knew what it needed to choose love instead of fear and follow my heart. With the grace of God, I chose to listen to my soul, rather than my ego. I’m grateful that in my later years I have come to this place of love, peace, trust, and surrender. I opened my heart to experience profound love in my marriage with Larry that has touched my core and healed my body, mind, and spirit.

Because of Larry’s love, I feel valued, important, seen, respected, and now have a much greater capacity to love than I ever have before. I am a better mother, wife, and friend and for this I am so grateful.  I know that LOVE is all there is. We will be celebrating 4 years of marriage next month.

Are you willing to step out in faith and follow your heart? I encourage you to listen to the voice of Spirit rather than your ego. Spirit will give you everything you need when you trust and surrender. If not now, when?

“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”

Asking God for what you need

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Do you ask God (Universe, Spirit, Higher Power, Love) for what you want and need? I have learned over the years to ask God for everything and to trust that if it’s for my highest good, it will happen. God wants us to ask and believe our prayers will be answered. Sometimes the answer is yes, no or wait.  Ask and you shall receive.

I started asking for help at a very difficult time in my life when my ex-husband had been unemployed for a year and we had 4 children under the age of 10. Here is a powerful story of answered prayer:

“God, Joe needs shoes for his job interview. You know we can’t afford $150 for a new pair of black wing tip shoes. I know this is not the usual request and it may take awhile to find size 12D at a yard sale. I trust you God”

God must look down and smile at some of my unique prayer requests. A size 12 D man’s shoe was a tall order, even for God.

A few weeks later after my request for shoes, I did a double take when I walked into the yard sale and spotted boxes of shoes stacked neatly on the table. I raced over to the table, my heart pounding. I carefully opened all the boxes hoping to find size 12 D black wing tip shoes. It didn’t look like they had any men’s shoes and was about to give up and leave. With that, a man walked over and asked, “Do you need help?”

I answered, “You don’t have what I’m looking for” and proceeded to tell me what I wanted. He said, “Wait a minute, I think I have some larger sizes over here. Follow me.” I held my breath anticipating what he might find. He opened all the boxes searching for size 12D.

“Yes, here we go. Is this what you are looking for?” He held up a new shiny pair of black wing tip shoes size 12D. I could hardly get the words out of my mouth. “Are you sure they are a size 12D?” He answered, “Yes, lady, look the size is right here.” I asked, “How much?” He thought about it for a moment and then said, “Twenty-Five dollars will do.”  I said, “It’s a deal, I will take them.”

God’s love and care never ceases to amaze me and I wanted to shout it from the housetops. I couldn’t hold back and blurted out. “I’m so happy I came here today. My husband is out of work and he has a job interview next week and we couldn’t afford to buy new ones. I’ve been praying and knew God would answer my prayers.”

He looked at me kindly and said, “I sold my shoe store a year ago and these shoes were the leftovers. They weren’t doing any good sitting in my basement and I just wanted to get rid of them. Glad you found what you were looking for.”

I held my breath when I got home as my husband tried on the new size 12D wing tip shoes. Just like Cinderella, the shoes fit like a glove.

I would like to share how I was provided for this past week. Larry and I belong to a Love group that has been meeting for the last 3 years. One of the members, Joseph, was very excited about reading a book called, Medical Medium by Anthony William. He also read his book, called Celery Juicing and was raving about the amazing health results he was experiencing since he started the celery juice detox.

I knew it would be a big commitment buying the organic celery, preparing it and cleaning up every day. But I was interested and put it out there to God, “I don’t have a juicer, so if you want me to do this, you will have to provide one.” I checked Craigs list but there weren’t any for sale. So, I waited.

Another member of the love group, John, was also interested in doing the celery juice detox and after the group suggested to his wife that they do it together. They decided to buy the celery juicer recommended by Anthony William.

John texted me the next day and said, “We bought a new juicer, would you like our old one? My wife used it 2 years ago and it’s a Jack La Lanne Power Juicer.” Of course, I said, “YES” and started juicing a week ago. I’m really enjoying it and am expected great results.

Thank you, God for your faithfulness and teaching me to trust you that you are always guiding, providing and protecting me. God’s timing is perfect, never late or early, but right on time. 

Accepting “What is”

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I’ve spoken to several friends this week and as we shared with one another the challenges, opportunities, and lessons we were experiencing during this time of awakening.  We all agreed that the bottom line for all of us was to trust, surrender and accept “what is.”

Is it easy for you to surrender and accept “what is” in some areas of your life and not in others? Surrender happens when we know that we don’t know and we cannot think or see our way through where we are. We don’t have the answers and more effort, more doing, more thinking, more control, more plans don’t work.

Surrender is turning the results over to a Power greater than ourselves. When everything we’re doing, saying, and trying to make happen is no longer about trying to control the future, or producing a certain result, we’re able to drop into the present moment and experience this moment directly, as it is.

When we surrender to what is, there is a great sense of ease, relief, and peace. We know we can’t fix or figure it out and we give up the belief that we can make reality different than what it is. Surrender is not for the faint of heart and it’s not easy. You may have difficulty surrendering and accepting:

  •  Your inability to create abundance and what you want in your life.
  •  Health challenges.
  •  Relationship challenges.
  •  Financial challenges.
  •  Unemployment or an unfulfilling job.
  •  Your children or grandchildren suffering.
  •  Your own addiction or a family member’s addiction.
  •  Grief and loss of a loved one.

The spiritual path invites us to accept everything as it is at the moment. The mind tries to control everything to try to keep us safe, make us happy and make our lives better. Our minds will fight with, reject, deny, ignore, push against, and keep maneuvering to change those situations that we don’t want.

If I want peace in my life, accepting what is in the moment is my goal. I lose my peace when I worry, obsess, blame, judge, and try to control other people and outcomes. I cannot change other people; all I can change is myself and my behaviors and attitudes.

When I have a difficult time accepting what is, it is usually because of fear of the future. I suffer when I refuse to accept what is happening in the moment. There is a line in a song that says:  Only what is, what if what is, is just right?

I struggle with accepting my health challenges, especially when I don’t know what’s going on in my body or why something is happening. I feel afraid and want to fix and control it immediately. Patience is not my strongest point when it comes to my health and I struggle with accepting “what is.”

I have been on a journey of healing my gut for several years with diet and exercise with intermittent success and failure. I had a difficult time accepting that I had a sugar allergy. Until I accepted what is, I was in and out of denial thinking I could eat just a little sugar and be ok. What a roller coaster that was. It’s one day at a time as I surrender, trust, and accept what is. 

Surrender and accepting “what is” are true gifts. When we finally acknowledge that we can’t do it, we give ourselves the opportunity to be carried by Spirit who is taking us where we need to go, even though we have no idea where that might be.

What area do you have difficulty trusting, surrendering and accepting “what is?”

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

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