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I felt jealous and lost my peace

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Nov
30

I’m sure we’ve all experienced what it’s like to have a mosquito buzzing around your head in the middle of the night when you are trying to sleep. You are just about to doze off for the 4th time and there it is again buzzing around your head.  It just won’t go away and let you sleep.

That’s what it felt like this week, but instead of a mosquito buzzing around my head and annoying me, it was my egoic voice trying to rob me of my peace. It was relentless, vicious, and wouldn’t stop!

I couldn’t stand it anymore it was so annoying. At one point, as I was driving in my car with the windows up, I screamed, “STOP.” I had enough of its shenanigans and lies.

Have you ever wondered how to recognize your egoic voice from the voice of the Spirit? First of all, you lose your PEACE as your mind feels like a blender going around and around with negativity, fear, shame, blame, and judgment.

I read something this week that resonated with me. It was, “There is no greater wealth in this world than peace of mind.” I pray every day for peace and have been for many years. I experience peace 90% of the time deep within my soul because I know I’m not alone, and am guided, and protected in everything I do.

My egoic voice whispers “You are not good enough. You are not doing enough. You don’t belong. You don’t have enough. You are not loved. You are separate from one another and “better than or less than others.” It comes from a deep place of fear which compares, judges, shames, and competes.

For many years, I compared myself to others, especially other women, and felt jealous A LOT. No matter what I did or how many degrees I obtained, it never felt like it was enough. I hated it whenever jealousy would rear its head. After much needless suffering, I learned to say, “OK jealousy, come on in and have a cup of tea.” This can be done with any feeling I’m feeling. Somehow, this acceptance of “what is” helps to comfort me and sets me free.

I rarely feel jealous anymore until this week when all hell broke loose in my mind. It made NO SENSE that I was struggling and feeling jealous after a conversation I had with a friend. I love my life and live in gratitude to God for what we have co-created. Like a broken record, I kept playing the conversation we had over and over in my mind and then judged myself for rambling on. Then came the SHAME for feeling jealous. It felt like I was in a vicious cycle and I knew I needed help. I prayed, “I need help Spirit.”

Message from Spirit:

Relax in my presence and come into the present moment and my truth. Your ego is vicious and wants to rob you of the life we have co-created here. RISE ABOVE THE DRAMA. Keep choosing love and peace. I want you to “accept what is.” Relationships are constantly changing and evolving and that is a good thing. Let there be no judgment or taking things personally. Forgive yourself for comparing, and judging. shaming and feeling jealous. I am inviting you to love yourself unconditionally and your sisters and brothers as you are all ONE.

Here is my process and how I moved through this egoic attack to bring myself back into peace:

·        I become AWARE when my egoic voice is clamoring for attention

·        I go within and ask Spirit for help

·        I said “STOP” to the egoic voice

·        I forgive myself and others when necessary

·        I choose love. peace and happiness

As I sat to meditate on my swing overlooking the ocean the next morning, I felt a deep peace that passes all understanding. By intentionally choosing love and peace, I free myself to live my life to the fullest and be me. I believe it is Spirit’s intention for us to live in love, peace, joy, and happiness.

It is when I’m living in the PRESENT MOMENT and in the Christ Presence that I feel deep peace. Being at peace is attained through dissolving thoughts of all kinds and surrendering to the moment. The past is gone and the future with all its “what ifs” cannot disturb me if, I don’t allow it.  

Being Present

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Nov
30

Larry continues to show me how to be PRESENT and available. When I return home from my morning walk/swim or meeting with a friend for tea, he is often on the computer or in the den watching something on YouTube.

As soon as I enter the room and greet him, he is PRESENT and lowers the volume of the tv or stops what he’s doing on the computer. I’m grateful because I always feel loved, seen, and heard. He wants to know how my morning went and we share about our day so far.

I almost missed out on a “gift from the heart” from him that I will treasure forever. How often have I missed the gifts and love because I’m too busy doing something else that I think is more important? Can you relate?

Here is what happened:

Since I’ve had problems with my lower back after several accidents over the years, my children bought me a Bio-Mat for my birthday. It is an infrared heat therapy that is filled with amethyst crystals. The mat promotes healing and blood flow while energizing and rejuvenating the body. I love sitting on the Bio-Mat in my ‘stressless chair” as I relax and read in front of the ocean.

When I came home from my acupuncture session that morning, I looked forward to just BEING and relaxing on the Bio-Mat. I was listening to a podcast from Maryanne Williamson about relationships when Larry approached me and said, “I have something I want you to listen to.”

I was cozy and relaxed and really didn’t want to get up at that moment. I thought to myself, “Can’t it wait until I’m done here?” As I looked into his eyes, I sensed it was important and got up and went to the den to listen to it. Before he played the song on YouTube, he said, “This is dedicated to you and my gift to you.”

As I sat next to him on the couch, I reached for his hand as the words of the song touched my heart deeply. I wanted to remember this poignant moment forever. The song was “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston (originally sung by Dolly Parton). The YouTube version was sung by Lucy Thomas and it was amazing.

I was so touched by the words that I asked him to play it again so I could record it on my phone.  As I sat on the floor close to the tv recording it, I turned back to look at Larry and we both had tears in our eyes. Wow, what a gift to think I will be able to play the song and remember this moment whenever I wanted to feel his love.

This brought back another memory of when Larry and I were best friends before we were married. Larry was having some serious health problems. We were at a restaurant with a friend when Larry became very pale and looked like he was about to pass out. He looked me in the eyes and said, “Don’t ever forget how much I love you.”

Our relationship is truly about love and sharing our faith journey together. We support one another as we grow in consciousness. Larry says, “We are joined at the heart, and not at the hip.”  

As Larry is PRESENT and available to me, I strive to be PRESENT and available to him and to all those I encounter on my path.  It occurred to me that before I can be PRESENT with anyone else, I have to be PRESENT with myself and God. I spend time alone every day going within, meditating, listening, and being grateful.

Being PRESENT with myself means:

·        I know what I want and what I don’t want

·        I have healthy boundaries and speak up and say no when I want to

·        I’m in touch with my feelings and am able to share them

·        I trust Spirit that I am loved, guided, and protected

·        I love, trust, appreciate and accept myself

I’m grateful for this powerful lesson to be PRESENT and available. I don’t want to ever miss the gifts and love because I’m too busy doing something else that I think is more important.

A Miracle story

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Nov
30

Although it feels like it happened yesterday, I’m feeling led to share the miracle that happened 40 years ago. When you hear the small, still voice of God so clearly for the FIRST time, it is etched in your heart forever.

Today, I am aligned with Spirit and hear the small, still voice of God on a daily basis guiding me on my journey. I love to share my “God-blouse” story to inspire others to trust God in everything and to listen to the small, still voice of God within.

My husband had been unemployed for a year, and we had four children under the age of ten. I remember how humiliated I felt when we had to apply for welfare and food stamps.

On the day that I bought my “God-blouse,” I had some time to kill as I waited to pick up the children from school. Even though I didn’t have money to buy anything, I could still window show I told myself. I spotted the clearance sign at the back of the store and quickly walked over to the clothing rack. I had no intention of buying anything, but the blouse jumped out at me. I fell in love with it and it was only ten dollars, I thought to myself. I wanted to forget that my husband was out of work and I couldn’t afford it.

As I reluctantly placed it back on the rack, I heard the small, still voice of God say, “BUY IT AND I WILL PROVIDE.” I pulled out my wallet to see how much money I had. I had a ten-dollar bill tucked away in the billfold.

“God, did I hear you right, or was that just me wanting the blouse?” Was my imagination running wild? I thought, “If I spend the money on a blouse, where will I get the money to buy milk and bread on the way home?”

I wanted to believe it was God, but could I trust myself? Miracles happened when I listened to God in the past. My gut was saying, “Trust God and buy the blouse.” I decided to buy the blouse.

I picked up the children from school and drove directly home (not saying anything about my purchase.) I grabbed the mail from the mailbox as I walked into the house, hoping there weren’t any bills.

There was a letter with no return address on it. I quickly opened it, eager to see what was inside of it. My heart skipped a beat when I saw the crisp new ten-dollar bill tucked inside the notecard. As I read the simple but profound message written in the card, I started to tremble from head to foot.

Oh my God, I shouted as the tears streamed down my cheeks. I frantically searched for a name, but there wasn’t any. Sprawled across the handwritten note was simply,

To Pat,

From the Son of a Carpenter

Filled with awe and gratitude, I couldn’t stop laughing and crying at the same time. God provides, but I didn’t expect it so dramatically and so quickly. I still don’t know who sent the card and money-and probably never will.  The person who sent it listened to the small, still voice of God and took action. 

A lot has happened over the past 40 years. I wrote my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” 14 years ago, I’ve been divorced for almost 25 years, retired as an Alcohol and Drug therapist, moved to Maui by myself and remarried 5 ½ years ago. Larry and I wrote our book together, “It’s Never Too Late for Love.”

Perhaps not as dramatic as my “God- blouse” story and receiving the ten-dollar bill in the mail, I continue to hear the small, still voice of God on a daily basis. I am never alone and neither are you.

I encourage you to go within for your answers knowing and trusting you will be guided every step of the way. It does take courage and practice to trust yourself that God is speaking to you. I would not be living the life of my dreams if I hadn’t been listening and said YES to the divine plan.

We make plans and God laughs

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Nov
30

Have you ever heard this? We make plans and God laughs!!! Today is my birthday and I had a peaceful morning meditating, sitting outside on my swing, enjoying the sunshine, breeze, and ocean. I received many texts and calls from family and friends that delighted my heart. Larry sang happy birthday to me and we enjoyed banana bread with candles on our lanai.

We were looking forward to going to our favorite restaurant upcountry and enjoying chicken parmesan and the most delicious chocolate cake ever.

Right before we were ready to leave it started pouring rain. I put my raincoat on with my beautiful lei that a neighbor gave me for my birthday and off we went. We were only a couple of blocks away from our home when the windshield wiper on the driver’s side flew off into the road. We looked at one another and Larry said, “We cannot get on the highway with no windshield.”  I knew he was right and we turned around to go back home.

I was disappointed, but immediately accepted “what is.” I believe things happen for a reason and for our highest good. If we had gotten on the highway only a few blocks away, it would have been impossible to see the road with the pouring rain. A closed door is often for our protection. It would have been easy to complain, feel angry, and sorry for myself. I chose not to do that, but to go with the flow.

I came home and began to write this blog. Up until this moment, I wasn’t sure what Spirit wanted me to share. I wrote in my journal this morning. “Thank you for the gift of peace. Nothing can compare to this peace in my soul. Nothing anyone does or doesn’t do can rob me of this peace-unless I ALLOW it.”

I have come to a place within my soul where I KNOW it is my relationship with God, Love, Source, Spirit that is what’s important and what is real and true. My inner life is what is important as I go within for all of my answers, rather than looking outside for someone to tell me what to do or not to do.

During my prayer time this morning, I thought about how many years I gave my power away and suffered terribly because I looked outside of myself to get what I thought I needed to make me feel loved. If I had only known what I know today!

For many years before becoming conscious, my addiction was rushing and staying busy. I didn’t want to feel my feelings and go inside. I liked having long lists and crossing it off when it was completed. There was a sense of accomplishment and achievement. If I wasn’t busy and doing, I often felt guilty that I wasn’t doing enough and making a difference in the world.

Here is the message I received from Spirit:

“Release the past, it’s over. Come into the present moment where there is LOVE and LIGHT. Let there be no judgement, shame, or blame as you did the best you could and there is no right or wrong. Celebrate who and where you are today and how you have grown and transformed. You have been on the path for many years and have let go of old beliefs of not being good enough and separate from Source.”

Today, I LOVE and cherish being quiet and doing NO THING. Rather than being driven and motivated by egoic thinking of accomplishing, achieving, planning, competing, comparing, I am living a soul directed life where there is acceptance, presence, allowing, purpose, peace, pleasure, play, surrender, flow, joy and love.

I choose not to direct my life, but instead allow life to lead me. I choose love instead of fear. How about you? What are you choosing today?

Celebrating my 76th birthday

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Nov
30

I look forward to celebrating my 76th birthday with Larry and a few friends next week. I’m celebrating the woman I have become and all the ups and downs of my journey so far. I never gave up on myself and was determined to “Find myself and BE myself.”

Transformation and doing the “inner work” haven’t always been easy, but absolutely worth the effort. I wouldn’t be who and where I am today if I wasn’t willing to let go of old beliefs of not being good enough, worthy to receive love, and separate from the Source.

For many years while I was married, I didn’t look forward to celebrating my birthday. I dreaded it because I didn’t want to feel disappointed, angry, and forgotten.

After crying and falling apart because my ex-husband forgot my birthday, I was promised it wouldn’t happen the next year. It happened, AGAIN and AGAIN, year after year. I felt powerless and like a victim. No matter how upset and hurt I was, it didn’t change his behavior. I don’t believe he intentionally wanted to hurt me. I didn’t understand it back then but today I know it was passive-aggressive behavior.

Passive-aggressive behavior is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative feelings instead of openly addressing them. There’s a disconnect between what a person says and what he or she does. It may mean a person has difficulty dealing with negative emotions because they were never shown how to do this growing up. Passive aggression involves a series of verbal, non-verbal, and evasive techniques that indicate discontent without ever saying it. It may be an indirect way to manipulate, abuse, or punish another person.  

Here are some signs of passive-aggressive behavior: sarcasm, procrastination, subtle put-downs, laughed at, avoidance, silent treatment, forgetting, lateness, cynicism, and not taking responsibility for tasks they agreed to perform.

Do you have someone in your life who exhibits these behaviors? Perhaps it may even be you. My ex-husband and I both came from alcoholic homes where we learned the unspoken rules:

·        Don’t talk,

·        Don’t trust,

·         Don’t feel.

This isn’t about blame, shame, or judgment. We loved one another and did the best we could from the dysfunctional homes we grew up in. I didn’t know how to speak up and ask for what I wanted, I wasn’t in touch with my feelings, especially anger, and I expected him to read my mind and sulked when I didn’t get my way.  

We are often wounded by others and weave stories about our hurts that live on in our hearts and minds. We hold onto resentments and anger about our past. We blame our parents. We distrust the power of love and connection.

Forgiveness is the key to freedom. Forgiveness is not for the other person, it’s for me. Forgiveness has allowed me to open my heart to give and receive love.

I have learned to forgive the past, my ex-husband, and most of all MYSELF for giving my power away by not recognizing abuse and not knowing how to give myself the love that I craved from others. I didn’t have the tools that I have today to set myself free and live in peace.

Today, I am 100% accountable for my thoughts, behaviors, feelings, beliefs, motives, and actions. I am responsible for my happiness as it is an inside job. I can be as happy as I want to be.

I’m grateful to Spirit for the courage and willingness to set myself free. I am a woman giving birth to myself and the gifts God has given me. I don’t regret my past or anything that has happened to me. I have learned many lessons through my experiences that have made me the woman I am today. I don’t know how many more years I will have to celebrate ME so I will make this birthday the best that I can.

I crashed when I got home

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Sep
22

I wasn’t expecting the CRASH when I returned home. I’m grateful that I remembered CONTRACTION often follows EXPANSION. It’s important to understand and honor our EXPANSION and CONTRACTION cycles as part of life and not to be afraid when CONTRACTION happens.

Anytime you push past the limit of what you are today; anytime you grow and expand; anytime you move further than is normal for you, you will experience CONTRACTION. The exchange of energy in cycles of expansion and contraction is happening constantly. It is part of how human beings work. It follows breathing cycles: Every time you inhale, you expand; every time you exhale, you contract. 

As I shared in last week’s blog, when I returned home from my vacation with family, I felt EXPANDED, EMPOWERED, INTEGRATED, and LOVED. I was able to work through issues quickly by asking Spirit for help, not taking things personally, and giving myself the affirmations that I craved from others, as I did for so many years.

It seemed like out of nowhere, I CRASHED and spiraled into irrational FEARS after being home for only a couple of days. I didn’t understand it at first because it felt like something was wrong with me and a personal weakness. My heart felt heavy and afraid as I thought about some family and friends who were suffering and in pain.

As I prayed and journaled about my irrational fears, I asked Spirit for a message:

“RISE UP FROM THE ASHES. You are under attack from your ego. Your ego is dying and it’s not happy. Ego is threatened and doesn’t want you to celebrate and integrate so it’s attacking your mind with fear. Remember, all there is is love and all is well. Keep calling on me and TRUST the process. Keep choosing love. All that is real is LOVE. Fear is not real, but a ploy of the ego.”

The ego is the part of us that tries to control everything so that we feel safe. The ego makes us feel separate from each other and God. When we see others as different from ourselves, it creates an illusion of separation, creating a sense of lack and scarcity. It leads to competition rather than cooperation; it leads to judgment rather than acceptance; it leads to fear rather than love; it leads to hate rather than forgiveness.

Once I understood what was happening and how my ego was robbing me of my peace and well-being, I felt grounded and peaceful. back to myself and open for miracles.

The week before I left for vacation, I twisted and hurt my back when our dog, Kobi, was attacked by another dog. It was recommended that Pilates would help strengthen my core stomach muscles.  

I felt a little overwhelmed as I explored Pilates studios in the area. I didn’t know whether to do group or private lessons, mat or the transformer machine. Money was definitely a factor as I would be doing it for a long time. I asked for guidance to be led to the right and perfect place.

I belonged to a gym before COVID hit. It’s been 2 ½ years since I stopped my membership. I decided to call and see if they offered Pilates classes and inquire about the cost of renewing my membership. They didn’t have a Pilates class scheduled at the moment but would be starting one soon. Membership costs $499.

 I was thrilled as one of my children surprised me with a check for $500 right before I returned home. Of course, neither of us knew the cost of renewing my membership.

God’s timing was perfect, as always. We are always provided for when we trust and ask for guidance.

Giving & Receiving Love

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Sep
22

When my intention and focus are to LOVE and receive LOVE, go within for guidance, and keep my vibration high in gratitude and peace, miracles happen. I returned home yesterday from my 3-week family vacation and I have to say it was the BEST ever. I experienced love and kindness from my family and friends. I stayed with my daughter, Mary, and grandson, Herbie, on their farm in Rhode Island.

I felt freer and more loving than I have ever felt. I didn’t take things personally, laughed a lot, and gave myself the affirmations that I needed, instead of looking outside to be affirmed. There were a few opportunities to let go of old beliefs of not belonging that came to the surface. I was able to move through it quickly and release the false beliefs that had been present for 50 years.

Message from Spirit:

“My plan is unfolding perfectly. I am opening your eyes and heart to the truth that you are LOVE and LIGHT and all that you have overcome and accomplished in this lifetime. Being with the family of origin is a breeding ground for deeper healing and transformation. It may bring up old patterns and beliefs that still may be lurking in your subconscious that no longer serve you. Allow my healing energy to flow to you. Focus only on LOVE and all you truly desire will manifest at the perfect moment.”  

A few months before the vacation, I picked the angel card of TRUST. I put it on my altar and prayed with it daily. Another theme for the vacation was to GO WITH THE FLOW and to ALLOW things to unfold in divine timing.

I like to plan things or perhaps I like to be in control. In the past, because I have a big family and friends I wanted to visit, I scheduled everything before I even got there. There is nothing wrong with planning and it worked in the past. It was different this year as I didn’t have the desire to plan before I arrived, but instead, I allowed myself to TRUST and go with the FLOW.

Every year, my friend, Donna, and I go to our friends, B&B on the ocean for a couple of days. The night before we were to go, Donna called and said, “My friend, who I was with all weekend just tested positive for COVID.”

Although we were both disappointed that she couldn’t come, we accepted, trusted, and didn’t complain. We were practicing going with the FLOW. A couple of days later, Donna tested positive for COVID. I didn’t realize that going alone to the B&B was exactly what I needed.  After the ordeal with Kobi the week before and hurting my back, my body needed to REST. I felt grateful that the door was closed at the last minute and that I was protected.

Later in the week, I planned on meeting another friend, Gail, for lunch. She called the night before and said, “I just tested positive for COVID.”  Again, more protection at the perfect timing.

I drove my daughter’s car while I was there. I pulled into her driveway and we discovered that the fluid for the power steering was leaking and the power steering was gone. It would have been very difficult to drive without power steering. More protection!

I enjoy receiving guidance from my deck of angel cards. I received the card of ENCOURAGEMENT 5 times while I was there. Spirit was speaking and I was listening.

“Your love is invaluable to the earth and to those around you. Even though you may not always see the positive effects your love has on others, TRUST it does. Each time you offer love; a smile, a kind word, a loving gesture, you plant a seed of love, and love always generates more love. Trust and continue your loving work.”

While I was there, I listened to a podcast called “Aging Gracefully.” I really resonated with it and realize that at the age of 75 I am in the last chapter of my life. It could be 20 years or 20 minutes from now. It is also the BEST chapter of my life as I integrate all my life experiences and celebrate who I have become. Today, I am celebrating my growth and that love is all there is and all that is REAL.

How about you?  Do you know that your love is invaluable to the earth and all those around you? Trust and continue your loving work.

Everything happens for a reason

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Sep
22

I believe everything happens for a reason and is always for my highest good. I strive to take 100 % responsibility for whatever I attract into my life. It could be a challenge, an injury, a death, an accident, an illness, or any loss.   

It may be difficult to “accept” when we are suffering and in pain or when our loved ones are in pain. Acceptance is often the last thing we want to do. Instead, we complain because we don’t know why something happened and our “ego mind” wants to figure it out and wants control.

I was given the opportunity to “accept” what happened to Kobi and me this week as if I had chosen it.

I was taking Kobi for an early morning walk in an empty parking lot just outside of the Shops of Wailea. I was casually strolling along connecting with the beautiful trees. flowers and birds. As I looked ahead, I saw a big black dog off leash charging towards us. I screamed to the owner to stop the dog, but it was too late.

Kobi is small, but not afraid of other dogs and wanted to protect me. It was a horrible scene as they fought with one another. I was screaming and trying to pull Kobi away from the dog but to no avail. Finally, the owner who was an elderly man grabbed his dog and pulled them apart.  I was in shock, trembling, and frozen in place. With all the twisting and turning to get the dogs apart, I wrenched and twisted my back.

The man asked, “Are you ok?” I replied, “No, I’m not.” My whole body was trembling and I couldn’t move or walk.  He asked, “How can I help you?” I responded, “Take your dog to your car.” He took the dog to his car and immediately returned to help me. I gave him my car keys so he could get my car which was parked on the opposite side of the parking lot. He apologized for his dog’s aggressive behavior. Unfortunately. I was so shocked that I didn’t think to get his name and phone number. There are leash laws, but most people don’t pay any attention to them.

Although Kobi was mauled, there was no blood and we didn’t have to take him to the vet. He limped for a couple of days and seemed to be in pain. We are so grateful he is fine now and back to taking walks with Larry and me.

I managed to drive home and almost collapsed when I came into the house, I was so shaken up. Driving home, I did EFT tapping on myself and prayed to God for help.

I was grateful that I didn’t fall and Kobi wasn’t seriously injured. I needed to stay in the energy of gratitude for my peace of mind. My family was angry and rightfully so, but I didn’t feel the anger about what happened until a few days later.

I believe in the power of prayer and happily pray for others. It was my turn now to be vulnerable and ask for prayers. I reached out to friends and put a post on Facebook about what happened. The love and prayers poured in from people I knew and didn’t know. I received texts, calls, and flowers from a neighbor, and a dear friend offered to pay for a therapeutic massage for me. Another friend did 4 Reconnective long-distance healings on me.

During prayer, I asked Spirit what I needed to learn and why I attracted this into my life.  Message from Spirit:

“I invite you to be open to receiving love as there must be balance. You are getting back/receiving the love and kindness you so graciously give to others. You have opened your heart for more love. Don’t judge it or try to figure it out. Just trust, accept and receive my peace. It pleases me that you asked me for help and you reached out to others for prayers. Relax, all is well and you are aligned with me.”

 I rested for almost a week as I was in a lot of back pain and could hardly get out of bed. I meditated, prayed, visualized, and kept choosing love. I know I have the power within (God) to heal myself; that is what I planned on doing.

This happened last Monday and the following Monday I was scheduled to fly to Rhode Island for my family reunion for 3 weeks. I really needed God’s healing if I was going to take the long plane ride. I saw improvement every day as I trusted that I was being healed.

By the time you receive this, I will be in Rhode Island and enjoying my family. God is good and God is faithful. I will not be writing another blog until I return to Maui. Thank you all for your prayers and love. Love is all there is and we are all connected.

I am not my body

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Sep
22

We had never spoken before, other than smiling and saying hello as we passed one another on the beach walk. A couple of days ago, she stopped me and said, “Did you move? Someone told me that Pat with the hat had moved. I smiled and said, “No, I’m still here.”

She looked me in the eyes and said, “What miracle are you praying for?” I was stunned and didn’t answer her. I am a believer in miracles, but I wasn’t expecting the question from someone I didn’t know. I wasn’t about to share with a stranger that I was struggling and had just prayed to God for help.

Author and teacher Marianne Williamson says, “A miracle is a shift in perception from fear to love.” I needed to change my thinking, for sure.

What is hidden is coming to the light in our individual lives and collectively. This is not to shame or judge us but to help us grow and EVOLVE to be the best person we can be. Spirit wants us to be free and live authentic and peaceful lives.  

I kept thinking about the question and asked myself, “How can something that happened over 50 years ago still be running the show after all these years of healing and transformation? For years, the “not good enough” egoic voice played havoc with me. Until I became aware that it was the ego, I was plagued with fear, guilt, judgement, and shame. Here is what came up this week:

When I was newly married my father and step-mom would visit from New York. The first thing he said after saying hello was, “Did you gain weight or did you lose weight?” A few minutes later, I would go into the bathroom and look in the mirror and criticize myself. I internalized this and thought I had to be the perfect weight to be deserving of love.

My journey of transformation has been learning to love myself in body, mind and spirit. Instead of looking outside of myself for affirmation and self-worth, I have learned to give it to myself.

Although I have been loving my body by exercising and eating healthy, Spirit brought to the light that the reason I was struggling and suffering was that I was still obsessed with my weight, looking good, and wanting to be perfect.  

Between the cultural conditioning of being a woman and having to have the perfect weight in order to feel loved and my father’s disapproval of my body, I NEVER felt good enough and judged and criticized myself, especially my belly. I’m not alone and know many women who criticize and hate some parts of their bodies. I was recently with a friend who has a beautiful figure and she said, “I criticize my body daily as not being good enough and I get on the scale daily.”

As I was preparing to write this, Spirit brought to mind something I had totally forgotten about. When I was about 12-14 years old, I went to a doctor with my mother every week for a few years to get diet pills. I WAS NOT OVERWEIGHT. I’m grateful I didn’t become addicted to the pills. No wonder I have had body issues for so many years with both parents giving me these distorted messages.

My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and I am made in the image and likeness of God. Spirit brought this to the light to free me of my obsession of being the perfect size and weight to deserve love.

I AM DONE with not feeling good enough and need a MIRACLE. My thinking has to change if I am to have peace and know the truth that I am not my body. I AM Love and Light. My body is a space suit I have on while I am in form.

What miracle are you praying for? Do you think you have to be the perfect weight and size to deserve love?  Do you love your body? If not now, WHEN? It’s time to reclaim our power and love the body God has given us.

Enthusiasm Makes the Difference

Posted Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs     Comments No comments
Sep
22

My faith and trust in God/Source are very important to me and have always been. I am a half-full glass kind of gal, rather than a half-empty glass kind of gal. I have “trained my mind” to see the positive and “expect” the best in all things. What we “expect” we get. It’s our choice to “expect” negative or positive outcomes.  

I asked myself, “How and where did my spiritual journey start?” Spirit brought to mind a book that I read 55 years ago called, “Enthusiasm Makes the Difference” by Norman Vincent Peale. Have any of you ever read this book?

Years ago, after reading the book, I met a man at a bar in New York City and couldn’t stop talking about it. Although I can’t remember today what was in the book, I remember being on fire and excited to share what I was learning about enthusiasm with anyone who would listen.

For the past few weeks, I have been thinking about the book and went to the library to see if they had a copy. They didn’t have it and had to order it from a neighboring island.

The book was published in 1967. I was 20 years old when I found it, or shall I say it found me because it changed my life. I had no idea that it was the first metaphysical book that I had ever read. Here are a few metaphysical teachers and authors you may recognize: Aristotle, Newton, Plato, Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Alan Cohen, and Neville Goddard. You may wonder what is metaphysics.

Metaphysics is a science. Science is to have knowledge of the unseen “secret” laws of the universe. Once you understand the laws of the universe, you will be more empowered to create the reality you want. You will learn that you can heal yourself in many ways through the power of truly becoming ONE with God. Oneness is the remembrance that you can never be separated from God. You cannot be separated from another human, nature, or anything that you can think of. Because everything is ONE and it all exists in the mind. You remember your true spiritual and eternal form and that everything is YOU.

I really enjoyed reading “Enthusiasm Makes the difference” againand learning about mental and spiritual treatment. Here are a few excerpts from the book:

·        Deliberately ACT AS IF you are calm, confident, and peaceful.

·        Lump & Drop – Empty your mind at the end of the day of all unpleasant experiences to prevent unhealthy thoughts from lodging in consciousness overnight.  

·        Start the day by telling yourself all the GOOD news you can think of. I have a healthy body, a job, a family, a bright future, abundance, and prosperity.

·        Don’t depreciate life by thinking about all the things that are wrong.

·        Sell yourself on yourself by believing in yourself, your talents, and gifts.

·        Listen to what you say to yourself that is negative and say the opposite.

·        Put your life in God’s hands, knowing you are divinely guided & protected.

As I think about my spiritual journey that started 55 years ago, I am astonished at how far I have come. My attitude is gratitude for the lessons and opportunities I have been given to grow and EVOLVE. After years of inner work and healing, I have come home to myself and “awakened” to the truth of who I am.

Sometimes it was hard and difficult, but I always got to the other side with the grace of God and my willingness to TRUST & surrender to the Spirit. Today, I am no longer seeking, pushing, searching outside of myself for answers as I am contented and experience a peace that passes all understanding.

Here is the truth of who I am and what I PRACTICE daily:

·        Love is my sole purpose. I am LOVE and loved. My religion is LOVE.

·        I have learned to go within for my answers for everything.

·        I am less defensive, reactive, and don’t take things personally.

·        I detach from the outcome knowing all is planned in the mind of God.

·        I ACCEPT WHAT IS as if I have chosen it.

·        I am less judgmental of myself and others.

·        I am aware of the egoic thought system and how it has robbed me.

·        I am more patient with myself & others knowing we are all doing our best and we are all ONE.

It truly is a joy to serve and inspire others to know the truth of who they are and live their highest and best life. We are meant to live in joy. It is our birthright.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
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