Choosing Change

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The word CHANGE keeps coming into my consciousness lately. Are you able to go with the flow when something changes in your life or do you resist and feel frustrated and angry when things don’t go your way? Of course, it depends on what the change is and whether it is something that you initiated and wanted.

Every day we experience some kind of change or loss; our bodies change, our emotions change, relationships change and our perspectives can change. We may experience an unexpected death of a loved one, a health crisis, divorce, a loss of job or home.

I believe change is good, although sometimes painful and hard. Do I always like change? NO. Do I sometimes complain and resist change? YES. When I resist change, I may feel angry and frustrated and try to control the outcome. It is because I’m attached to what I want and think I know what’s best for my life. That never works and I dig a hole for myself and cause more suffering. A Buddist principle states that pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. We cause suffering when we don’t allow ourselves to feel our feelings and our pain.

When I ACCEPT change, I feel peaceful, relaxed and free. It is like I am saying to the Universe, “I trust that whatever is happening is for my highest good, thank you God.” When I’m open to change, I am saying YES to life and all the opportunities and experiences available to me, even though I may not see them. Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems. When I cannot accept every person, place or thing as exactly as it is, I will not have peace.

Sometimes it takes time to accept changes in my life and I must allow myself, however long it takes, to feel and process my feelings. I must be patient, compassionate and loving toward myself. For many years, I pushed my feelings down, especially anger. I wasn’t encouraged or taught to feel and value my feelings. Shutting our emotions down makes us emotionally, spiritually and physically sick. Today I know that feelings are a gift from God and to feel is to heal.   

I’ve experienced changes this past year in a relationship with a soul sister that has been painful and difficult. I thought we were forever heart-friends. She didn’t want to be friends anymore because I had changed to much. I understand that there are seasons and not every relationship is forever because our needs and desires change.   

I allowed myself to process all of my feelings; sadness, grief, hurt, disappointment and anger with the loss of my friend. I chose to take responsibility for my part in the relationship and not blame her or hold a resentment. It took courage and trust to believe it wasn’t good or bad. I didn’t take it personally or blame myself for what happened.

With the grace of God, and my willingness to forgive, I was able to move beyond the pain and hurt and send her love. I am choosing to love her unconditionally. I pray for her daily and continue to hold her close in my heart. The value of suffering is to WAKE US UP so we can choose LOVE.  I am choosing LOVE because Love is all there is.

How about you? What are you choosing today? Are you in resistance to some change in your life or are you able to accept “what is” and trust the Divine has a plan for your life? Choose LOVE. It is your birthright.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

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