EGO wanted to disrupt my peace

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One of the reasons I think my relationship with Larry works so well and why I love it so much is because we have learned to be FLEXIBLE with life and with one another. In other words, we are learning to go with the flow and accept “what is.” It seems like a theme in our lives these days to surrender and accept “what it” because we need to practice it daily if we want to experience peace.

I don’t think being flexible in a relationship is easy or even doable if you haven’t learned to be flexible with yourself and to trust what you need to do for yourself in each moment.  For example, I really looked forward to attending a potluck luncheon with my yoga group on Memorial Day.  Larry and I both had busy weeks and I helped a friend move.  I spent Sunday “filling up myself”  and resting which was good for my soul.

I felt surprised when I started to feel “uncomfortable” about attending the yoga luncheon because I was really looking forward to it.  I didn’t understand why I didn’t want to go and, of course, I didn’t want to disappoint my friends. I have learned to go within and trust Spirit that I am being guided and will do what is right and for my highest good.

There was a time in my life that I wouldn’t give myself permission to change my mind-just because I wanted too.  If I was sick, there wouldn’t be a problem saying no. But to change my mind and not follow through is something I didn’t do because I would be more concerned about what others thought of me than with doing what was good for me and for my highest good.  It would take me a long time to make a decision and then I would have to talk myself out of feeling guilty.

I am grateful for my growth and how I have learned to respect my wants and needs and take care of myself in body, mind and spirit. I have learned to change my mind and say no without guilt.

Instead of attending the yoga luncheon, Larry and I decided to spend the day together driving up-country and going out to lunch. This felt more peaceful since we hadn’t spent much quiet time together during the week. When I woke up in the morning, the desire to spend the day on the road just didn’t feel peaceful.  I wanted to stay home and just BE.

When I shared it with Larry, he was flexible and fine with it, which I knew he would be.  He loves to stay home and relax. He respected my need for quiet and was willing to change his plans. Within a few minutes, he received a phone call from the people renting the condo he manages and his morning changed completely. I may not have liked it, but I would have been flexible with the change of plans and accepted “what is.”

I would not want to be in a relationship with someone if I wasn’t respected and there wasn’t flexibility, especially at this time in my life. Of course, there are times when I choose to do something for the person I love that I don’t particularly want to do. The difference is that it is a matter of choice and I am doing it out of love rather than guilt and trying to please someone.


My deepest desire is to become the most complete vessel of love that I can be.  I have shared with you before that I believe “love consciousness” is GOD and I know love consciousness gives me many opportunities each day to grow and become a more complete vessel of love. 

I don’t always notice these opportunities or take advantage of them because I’m either not listening or my mind is so crowded with my own “me,me, me” thoughts and petty issues that I don’t recognize the opportunities when they appear.

I pray this prayer every morning. “I promise to allow love to touch through me, in its very special way, each person that comes into my life.” I believe that we are all connected through love consciousness (love’s energy and light) and if we remain open to that gift, we can share it with one another.  As we learn to do this we grow and become more conscious of who we are intended to be as “vessels of love.” 

I try to connect with others and be present to them even if it’s just for a few seconds. I recognize them as another human being and not just a means to an end.  It may be in the grocery store, the bank, drug store, or a waitress or waiter serving us. Opportunities come from everywhere to practice being vessels of love. 

During my morning walk today I was inspired to stop the garbage truck and express to the driver what a good job he was doing and how much we appreciated his efforts each week.  He seemed very happy to hear that and responded in a kind way. He shook my hand and thanked me and wished me a good day.   

I have been practicing silently sending love in situations where I have to wait. It may be while I am waiting in line at the store or sitting in a doctor’s office or sitting at a red light.  Instead of getting stressed out or irritable, I just  send love to all of the souls present and to the Universe.  This is my intention, but that doesn’t mean I can do this all of the time. I’m trying to recognize the opportunities that are presented to me to be a vessel of love.  I’m certainly not perfect, but I don’t think it’s about perfection.  I think for me it’s about learning to live a different way. I know this sounds simple and it is, but it’s not easy. 

I am learning to recognize when EGO is trying to disrupt my peace when I judge situations and others, when I am inflexible, impatient, short tempered or allow fear to rule my life. I am learning how powerful words are and realizing I have to choose them carefully when I speak, and to be more sensitive and compassionate. Mark Twain offers “The difference between the right word and wrong word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” 

LOVE ENERGY (patience, compassion, forgiveness, kindness) offers us the opportunity to choose every day whether we live in the light of love or the darkness of unconsciousness. 

I don’t necessarily like the direction I see our world heading and I feel pretty helpless sometimes. What I do believe is that there is an energy more powerful than anything humankind has ever fully experienced and that is the power of LOVE. If I can in some way be a vessel of love and touch the hearts of those people brought into my life, who knows what can happen.  LOVE surprises me all time. 


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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

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