I had the opportunity to practice the importance of allowing myself to feel my feelings this week as I had my first colonic procedure. My gut health wasn’t at its peak so I was looking forward to getting some relief. The procedure went as good as it could go and I was fine. For those of you who have never had a colonic, It’s quite interesting and alarming to watch on a screen what comes out of you! I knew I would go home lighter!!!!
I wasn’t happy when she said, “You have candida, fungus and parasites. I want you to make an appointment to see a naturopath doctor. You also need to go on a candida diet to get rid of the candida and fungus. I wasn’t too concerned about the parasites because they are quite common and treatable. As you can expect, I wasn’t a happy camper since I have had more doctor’s appointments in the last 4 months than I have had in my whole life.
I was wiped out (literally) physically and emotionally when I returned home. I felt overwhelmed and angry with yet another health opportunity to contend with. Although I have been eating clean since my last “wake up” call with my high blood platelets, I didn’t know what a candida diet looked like and I felt overwhelmed.
I prayed and journaled my feelings. What I know about myself and my process is that I am vulnerable when it comes to health issues and go right to overwhelm. Here is the message from Spirit I received:
“This is your vulnerable area and you have never had any health issues up until now. Don’t judge yourself or beat up on yourself. Love and accept your overwhelm. It’s ok to feel it and let it go. You don’t need to pretend you are brave. You are not your body. Relax, rest and be. I am guiding you and providing for you. Don’t push yourself. It’s important to practice letting go and resting in my presence. As you relax more and more, you let go.”
I texted my “cardinal” sisters and close friends and asked for prayer. I called my daughter, Mary, and she said, “Mom, don’t be overwhelmed or worried because you have already been on a clean diet. I have the herbal protocol for candida and I will help you.”
Wow, I am always being provided for and guided when I ask for help, trust and am grateful. My peace was back as I allowed myself to feel my feelings of overwhelm and anger and then let them go.
When feelings come up, I don’t deny, minimize or judge them. Instead, this is what I practice:
I welcome them in and befriend them
I ask what gift they are bringing me
I allow myself to feel one feeling at a time and for as long as I need to
I process the feeling and then let it go
I change my thinking when I need to
I spend time alone and trust what I need to do for myself in each moment
I journal my feelings and share them with a trusted friend
Feelings are gifts from God and we need to take time to listen to them. It’s essential that we claim our true birthright: the freedom and courage to be ourselves, to feel and express our feelings. Feelings are the gateway to who we are. They are there to help us do what we need to do next. They give us clues if something is wrong, to help us protect ourselves and keep ourselves safe. They are part of the human condition and we all have them.
It’s our resistance to feelings that cause more problems than the feelings themselves. Feelings are part of being alive and resisting them means resisting life. Feelings are energy, always in motion. Unstuck energy lives in the body when we resist our feelings. They get stuck in the body and may appear as a lump in the throat, heaviness in the throat or tightness in the stomach.
Feelings are meant to pass quickly, they are like clouds in the sky and it’s the nature of them to move on. I cannot live in the moment and enjoy the present when my feelings are stuck inside, whether that is resentment, anger, fear, jealously or not being able to forgive. To move on, we need to allow our feelings to come to the surface in order to let go and heal.
Feelings are not right or wrong, they just are. Messages from society are that feelings are bad or dangerous and we try to avoid them at any cost. If someone cuts me off in traffic and almost causes an accident, I will feel angry which is a normal emotion. If I have road rage, and follow them, it’s the action that’s wrong, not the feelings.
I am learning to give thanks for the opportunities that life provides and that I know how to process all of my feelings when they surface.
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