Find Yourself, Know Yourself and Be Yourself

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Do you wish your relationships were more fulfilling?

Do you find yourself resenting all you do for others?

Do you want to learn how to be more authentic so you can enjoy life and feel a powerful sense of well being?
To be authentic means to be real. You know when someone is real when you are in their presence. Can you remember being drawn to someone because they seem so real? They aren’t afraid of living and speaking their truth. They allow you to see their weaknesses as well as their strengths. They don’t pretend to be something they are not. We are drawn to people who are authentic because we can trust them and we feel better about ourselves because of their openness and honesty. We all strive to be our authentic selves. It’s a life long journey and it takes courage to be your authentic self. Taking off your mask and being yourself no matter what others think of you is an important step in becoming authentic. 

Finding myself and what I wanted has been a journey. Learning to love, trust and value myself has brought me to places I never imagined.  I went back to college at age 40, asked my husband for a divorce at ago 50, wrote my book, Simply a Woman of Faith at age 60 and left my full time job as an Alcohol and Drug therapist of 20 years to step out in faith and start my own business as an author, inspirational speaker, spiritual coach and radio talk show host.

Being the oldest in my family, I took on the role of being overly responsible and a people pleaser. I had no idea of who I was or what I felt.  As I took the inward journey through therapy, prayer and meditation, I uncovered layers of low self esteem, unworthiness, inadequacy, fear and not feeling good enough.

Many women lose themselves in their various roles and have no idea who they are or what they want. They are someone’s wife, mother, friend, daughter or employee, but don’t have their own identity. They often give their power away by focusing on what others want at the expense of themselves. They can feel resentful because their needs aren’t met. They are not in touch with their feelings because they have medicated them through eating, alcohol, drugs, workaholism, staying busy, rushing, shopping and approval addiction.

Shore up your courage and slow down. It’s time to go within to find yourself and explore what‘s important—what makes you happy and fulfilled.  It can feel scary at first: you don’t know what you’ll find or what will be asked of you. You may choose to take a stand and leave an unhealthy relationship or job that is no longer working and hindering your progress. When you take a risk and follow your heart, you live your authentic life with unlimited potential and possibilities.

Developing my Spirituality and finding a Power greater than myself to heal and transform me was crucial to becoming authentic. Spirituality means “connectedness.”  I connect with myself, with a Power greater than myself and I connect with others. I needed to learn to trust that Power (whom I call God, but you may call nature, love, source, universe, goddess or something else) before I could trust myself and others with my true self.  I needed to know that I was loved unconditionally and I didn’t have to do anything to earn that love. I was loved just because of who I was.

Prayer helped me feel safe enough to take off the mask and be myself.  Facing and moving through my fear is a constant in my life. Whenever we are called to a higher level of consciousness and living our potential, our fears rise to the surface. We must do vengeance with our fears to live the authentic life. Fear is the thief of dreams.

I invite you to find a spiritual practice to “plug in” to this higher consciousness daily. It will help you feel loved and connected to Spirit and the core of who you are. It will help you joyfully discover your authentic self. 

Ten Tips to Becoming Your Authentic Self 

  1. Show up everyday for yourself, for Spirit, and the world by sharing your gifts and talents for the good of all. Embrace that you are a child of God, one with Spirit and are loved unconditionally. 
  2. Stay focused on what you want to create in your life by staying in the moment , letting go of the past and concerns for the future.
  3. Speak up, say no and set a boundary, when necessary.
  4. Stay grateful and focus on what’s working, rather than what’s missing in your life.
  5. Ask for what you want and believe that you have already received it.
  6. Believe in yourself, love yourself, trust yourself, cherish yourself and forgive yourself.
  7. Face your fears and take a risk to follow your heart’s desires and intuition.
  8. Have courage and be honest about what you feel and think.
  9. Step into your greatness and magnificence knowing you are worthy of abundance and prosperity.
  10. Surrender: let go of control and the outcome.


Written for  Aspire Magazine

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
621 Laniolu Place Kihei, HI 96753