“I am Letting Go of the Need to Know”
I am practicing letting go of the “need to know” what will happen tomorrow, the next month or next year. Believe me, it is a daily practice to let go of the “need to know” and trust that all is well in the present moment. This is not easy because I feel safe when I think I know what’s coming next, although this is an illusion because no one is guaranteed tomorrow. All I have is this precious present moment to live as I choose – in love or in fear. I have learned from experience that life is short and I don’t get to know when a loved one will leave this earth. I believe that the “need to know” is about wanting to be in control – which stems from fear of the unknown.
For example, I am letting go of the “need to know” where I will live when I return to Maui in September, and when my house will sell in Rhode Island, and when I will meet my soul mate, and if my money will run out or if I get sick, who will take care of me in Maui! In other words, I am doing my part through prayer, meditation, listening to the small still voice within and following my intuition. I am leaving the HOWS up to God and letting go of the outcomes. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have a plan, because I do, but I am surrendering my plan to the divine plan and this is where I find my peace.
The “need to know” kept me paralyzed for 7 years while writing my book. I was afraid to risk and take the next step to move toward my dream of writing my book. But for the grace of God, I faced my fears, published my book and my life has never been the same. I left my job of 20 years as a therapist to start my own spiritual business and now I am moving to Maui to live.
Many people stay stuck in jobs or relationships that are unfulfilling or unhappy because of fear and the “need to know” how it will turn out. The spiritual path is about taking one step at a time and walking in faith while being open to receive more good, and then being available for the gifts that God wants to give. I have learned to just do the next right thing, trusting God will open or close the door for my highest good, as I move in faith. I trust that doing the next right thing is going back to Rhode Island June 27, selling my condo, and letting go of my “stuff” that I have accumulated over the last 33 years.
For me, the spiritual path is about surrendering my will and trusting in a Power greater than myself. That is living in faith. Faith is always the path for me whether it is having faith in God, faith in myself, faith in the universe and that everything is unfolding according to a divine plan. I am using the same “proactive thanksgiving prayer” that I did when I moved to Maui in January, which worked out better than I could have imagined. This is how I pray: “Thank you God for the perfect and right place to live in Maui and thank you God for the perfect and right person to buy my house.” Norman Vincent Peale writes “Do not always ask when you pray, but instead affirm that God’s blessings are being given.” An affirmation that I use is “I am in love with the adventure of life.” I am very excited about my “new life and adventure” and can’t wait to see how it all unfolds. I know I will be sharing many miracle stories.
I would like to share a recent example of “being present” and doing the next right thing. I went to the ocean early in the morning to pray, mediate and go for a swim. As I walked down the beach after my swim, I said a quick prayer, “God, please lead me to someone to talk to.” I went back to my chair and sat down. Within a short time, this young man with a big tattoo on his arm literally plopped down “right next to me on the sand” and started talking to me. I thought it was a little odd (and scary) especially since he had a brown bag with a bottle of beer in it that he was drinking for lunch. I thought to myself, “Okay, God is this you and what do want me to say to him?” He talked about himself for quite a while and told me he was a musician, an artist, a writer and had lived in Maui for 5 years. I silently prayed while we continued the conversation. I asked him what he liked most about Maui and he said, “The temperature and the ocean.” He then asked me, “What do you like the best about Maui?” I said, “The energy and spirituality of the island.” That opened the conversation to a whole new level. I asked him, “Are you connected to a power greater than yourself?” His face lit up and he said, “Yes, I am and I am on a spiritual path.”
Scott and I talked for 1 ½ hours about God, Source, finding your purpose, love, values and the importance of meditation and a daily spiritual practice. I shared with him some of my stories in my book and he got “real quiet” and choked up when I told him my “blouse story” and how God provided for me. I told him I had prayed to be led to talk to someone that morning. He smiled and said, “That’s heavy and rad!” I guess that’s a good thing!
It was so refreshing talking to a young man who wants to make a difference in the world and is on the spiritual path. By the time we left, we were old buddies and we hugged each other and thanked each other for being there and sharing. As he walked away, he kept turning back and saying “thank you and God bless you.” I never know who or what will “show up” and when my prayers will be answered, and I also learned I can’t judge a book by its cover.
Then I decided I needed to be more specific in my prayer! “God, lead me to a man who is spiritual, tall, dark and handsome and my age, not my kids age! I trust that when I meet my soul mate and tell him I prayed and visualized us getting married; he will also think that’s “Rad.” Tonight, while taking my walk on the beach, I saw 5 weddings. I know it will be my turn soon because God is faithful and knows the desires of my heart – because God has placed them there. All I have is this present moment to live my life to the fullest and enjoy what God has given me. I am living my dream. How about you?
MY SOUL HAS PATIENCE AND CONTAINMENT – Heart Steps, Julia Cameron
I am patient. I am able to live with ambiguity. I am able to allow situations to evolve and alter. I am able to await outcomes. I tolerate quiet periods of non-knowing while solutions emerge and present themselves. I do not force solutions. I expect the successful working-out of difficulties and differences. My heart is wise. It knows when to act and when non-action is the action to take. I trust my patient heart. I trust the power of my containment.
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