I really want my default to be “I choose Love” in all situations and with all people instead of blaming, judging, shaming, copping an attitude or feeling resentful when things don’t go my way or the way I think they should go with other people. Can you relate?
It takes lots of practice to have my default be “I choose Love.” It doesn’t come naturally to choose love when I’m pissed or think I’ve been wronged or not respected. My natural tendency is to shut down or want to “get back” and judge the other person when I’m hurt or angry.
Spirit always gives me the perfect opportunities to practice choosing Love. Sometimes it may take me awhile but when I’m conscious, I see everything as opportunities to grow and change.
We all have expectations of what we hope for or want things to look like. It’s probably impossible not to have expectations. We go on vacation and we expect or hope the weather will be beautiful. We have a date with a new person and hope it will go well. Of course, being positive is healthy and there is nothing wrong with that.
When things don’t go my way and how I had hoped they would go, I have the opportunity to accept “What is” and live in the moment. When I accept things or people just as they are, I have peace. I lose my peace and serenity when I want to control people and how they do things or don’t do things.
I have learned that I am responsible for myself and my reactions, feelings and behaviors. We fail to understand that all we have control over is ourselves and not another. I cannot control anyone else to do something the way I expect them to do it.
My opportunity this week had to do with expecting an event to go in a certain direction with a friend. I had it pictured in my mind (an expectation) how I wanted it to unfold. When it didn’t go the way I pictured it, I felt resentful, at first, and judged my friend. I allowed myself to feel my disappointment because I didn’t want to do a “spiritual bypass” and push my feelings down.
Instead of wallowing in the resentment and disappointment, I started to repeat to myself, “I choose Love, I choose Love.” Within a few minutes, I felt peaceful and the resentment was gone. I have read that “An expectation is a premeditated resentment.”
When I saw my friend the next day, by choosing Love, I didn’t feel any resentment or judgement and we had a great day together. The outcome would have been very different and I would have missed out on a great spiritual experience if I hadn’t chosen Love.
I am grateful that I recognize my behaviors and that I have the tools to change myself one day at a time a time. I am learning to not take things personal, to detach from outcomes and to know that I am not responsible for another person’s happiness.
Today I choose Love, how about you?
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