A few weeks ago. I shared that I was “riding the wave” and flying through the water and air. It felt both scary and adventurous. I know surfers have been injured when the wave hits and they go under. It takes commitment and practice to ride the waves.
This week the wave hit me and I went under! If you have ever been hit by a wave you know what happens. It’s scary when you get tossed around, lose your breath and don’t know what’s happening. You may have bruises or broken bones when and if you finally make it out of the water.
After I returned from the powerful retreat in Costa Rica and was so high, I CRASHED. I felt extreme exhaustion and had no motivation for anything. I felt depleted, empty and like I had lost my MOJO. I even questioned if I was cut out for this work because it took so much out of me.
Although I understood intellectually that this is to be expected after a long trip away and releasing so much energy, not only from this lifetime. but from past lifetimes, I felt fearful that what I was experiencing wouldn’t pass. A friend shared that I had expanded so much that it was natural to then contract.
It was difficult because I couldn’t be around people who were joyful and celebrating the holidays. I canceled parties with friends and just rested to replenish and restore myself. For so many years, I pushed myself to do things without even checking in with my body to see if it was the right thing for me to do. It was more important to please others than to take care of my needs. I didn’t want to be judged and wanted to be liked, so I pushed myself.
Holidays can be very difficult for people if they have lost a loved one or are estranged from family and don’t feel joyful. Sometimes, it’s good to push yourself to join in and get out of the house and sometimes it’s good to take care of yourself and be quiet. Self-love and self-care are extremely important as well as trusting yourself and asking Spirit what to do next.
I chose to BE STILL and quiet until whatever needed to pass through me passed through. And it did! I needed God to fill me up again. I prayed, meditated, let go, surrendered, slept, asked for help and TRUSTED that everything was happening for a reason. I remembered my message from the retreat and that my experience was my experience and it was perfect.
What made this transition easier was how Larry supported and loved me through this experience. Instead of trying to push me to do things because it may make me feel better or not to disappoint my friends, he supported my decision to be still and quiet completely. He encouraged me to stay home and rest. I so appreciated his wisdom and respect for my knowing what I needed to do for myself. I also appreciated my friends who supported and loved me through their texts and calls.
Being on the other side of this and having my MOJO and enthusiasm back, I have learned a few lessons about trust and waiting. Whatever is happening is for my highest good and it will pass. What goes up must come down. What expands must contract.
What I learned from this is that I must protect myself energetically since everything is energy before doing this powerful healing energy work. I picked up someone else’s energy and it needed to be cleared. After I did this clearing, it was almost instantly that the heaviness and exhaustion lifted and I was back to myself again.
I will ground myself and ask the angels to go before me and put a white light or bubble around me for protection in the future.
I am very excited to be giving the talk tonight Awakening to Your Sacred Sexuality at the Wailea Healing Center. Barbara, Antisk and I will be giving the workshop January 5-6. I know it will be a powerful and healing workshop for the women attending as it was for me.
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