I crashed when I got home

Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs

Sep
22

I wasn’t expecting the CRASH when I returned home. I’m grateful that I remembered CONTRACTION often follows EXPANSION. It’s important to understand and honor our EXPANSION and CONTRACTION cycles as part of life and not to be afraid when CONTRACTION happens.

Anytime you push past the limit of what you are today; anytime you grow and expand; anytime you move further than is normal for you, you will experience CONTRACTION. The exchange of energy in cycles of expansion and contraction is happening constantly. It is part of how human beings work. It follows breathing cycles: Every time you inhale, you expand; every time you exhale, you contract.

As I shared in last week’s blog, when I returned home from my vacation with family, I felt EXPANDED, EMPOWERED, INTEGRATED, and LOVED. I was able to work through issues quickly by asking Spirit for help, not taking things personally, and giving myself the affirmations that I craved from others, as I did for so many years.

It seemed like out of nowhere, I CRASHED and spiraled into irrational FEARS after being home for only a couple of days. I didn’t understand it at first because it felt like something was wrong with me and a personal weakness. My heart felt heavy and afraid as I thought about some family and friends who were suffering and in pain.

As I prayed and journaled about my irrational fears, I asked Spirit for a message:

“RISE UP FROM THE ASHES. You are under attack from your ego. Your ego is dying and it’s not happy. Ego is threatened and doesn’t want you to celebrate and integrate so it’s attacking your mind with fear. Remember, all there is is love and all is well. Keep calling on me and TRUST the process. Keep choosing love. All that is real is LOVE. Fear is not real, but a ploy of the ego.”

The ego is the part of us that tries to control everything so that we feel safe. The ego makes us feel separate from each other and God. When we see others as different from ourselves, it creates an illusion of separation, creating a sense of lack and scarcity. It leads to competition rather than cooperation; it leads to judgment rather than acceptance; it leads to fear rather than love; it leads to hate rather than forgiveness.

Once I understood what was happening and how my ego was robbing me of my peace and well-being, I felt grounded and peaceful. back to myself and open for miracles.

The week before I left for vacation, I twisted and hurt my back when our dog, Kobi, was attacked by another dog. It was recommended that Pilates would help strengthen my core stomach muscles.

I felt a little overwhelmed as I explored Pilates studios in the area. I didn’t know whether to do group or private lessons, mat or the transformer machine. Money was definitely a factor as I would be doing it for a long time. I asked for guidance to be led to the right and perfect place.

I belonged to a gym before COVID hit. It’s been 2 ½ years since I stopped my membership. I decided to call and see if they offered Pilates classes and inquire about the cost of renewing my membership. They didn’t have a Pilates class scheduled at the moment but would be starting one soon. Membership costs $499.

I was thrilled as one of my children surprised me with a check for $500 right before I returned home. Of course, neither of us knew the cost of renewing my membership.

God’s timing was perfect, as always. We are always provided for when we trust and ask for guidance.