“I gasped when I opened the envelope with $500 in it”
My heart rejoiced when I looked outside my kitchen window and heard the red cardinal singing to me. I went up to the Star deck in my ohana which overlooks the ocean and the mountains of Maui. I just sat there still and mesmerized by the power of the ocean in front of me. I became ONE with the ocean, the mountains, the sky, the birds and with God.
It was an amazing feeling of freedom, light and love. I experienced the peace that passes all understanding deep in my heart because I realized that I was living my dream. It was as if I had come out of the darkness and into the light. I had pushed through the tunnel to get to the light. As I reflected on the past months (leaving home, family and friends) and what I had experienced through the trials and times of letting go, I realized through the grace of God that I had moved through the tunnel by allowing whatever needed to come up into the light to come up, without judgment or condemnation. I allowed myself to feel everything and loved and accepted that part of me that was scared to death. I also stayed in an “attitude of gratitude”, trusting that everything was happening for a reason. This is how the healing and transformation came about.
It is so easy to think, “I should be further along after all the years of therapy and spiritual work that I have done.” We may be tempted to beat up on ourselves for where we are on our journey, rather than accept we are exactly where we need to be. I have read that the deeper we go with God, the more we will see our darkness and what needs to be transformed and healed.
I also know through my own personal experience and my professional experience of being an alcohol and drug therapist how easy it is to numb/medicate our feelings through addictions. In my book, Simply a Woman of Faith, I write, “Rushing was my addiction. I constantly raced around, going from one thing to another. If I rushed and stayed busy, I didn’t have time to feel my feelings and go within. I felt powerful when I multi-tasked and felt in control. I always pushed myself to do and be more. I didn’t feel good enough and didn’t know how to relax. I disconnect from myself and from the divine energy of God within. When I rush, I’m not respecting myself or the God within.”
I received an email from a woman who had just read my blog that morning that touched my heart. I would like to share it with you. She writes, “This morning as I was reading your blog and looking out my window, I saw your words in action. I noticed the blind woman walking towards the clubhouse with her companion in front of her. The blind woman had her arm outstretched, her hand resting on her companion’s shoulder for guidance. I could not help but see the lesson in front of me. The blind woman, with each step, stepped out in complete faith and trust knowing that she was being safely guided and directed. I hope to keep this memory and call it up as often as needed. God is always in front of me ready to safely guide me, I need only put out my hand for assistance and He will guide and help me.”
Dictionary meaning of “guide” – One who shows the way by leading, directing, or advising, usually by reason of his greater experience with the course to be pursued.”
How blessed and grateful I am to have a God who is there to guide, direct and provide for me on my path. Guidance means GOD U & I dance. When I allow God to lead and I follow we dance beautifully together. It is when I try to lead and want my will instead of God’s will that I get in trouble and stumble and fall. Daily, I am learning to dance with God through prayer and meditation and by following my intuition.
I’ve shared in other blogs that God is my source and I trust in divine abundance and order. With my mouth wide open, I gasped when I opened the card I just received and saw a $100 dollar bill. There was a beautiful note that read, “Hi Pat, I chose to tithe to you, as my definition of tithing is to give to sources that spiritually feed me. I too am learning to put all my faith in God and ‘let go’ of the need to control things. Your blog continues to inspire me and strengthens my core beliefs that God will always provide. When things seem hard, just remember I am praying for you and you are not alone.” In the card was not only one $100 bill, but 5 one hundred dollar bills. Ironically, or better yet it was synchronicity that I just paid the day before $500 for the new “used” engine for my car that I picked up. God is good!
A couple of hours before this blog was scheduled to go out, I received another gift of $45 in the mail from a man who was also led to tithe to me. Thank you dear souls from the bottom of my heart – whether it be $500 or $45, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that God is faithful and I know when we trust with our whole heart and soul, we will always be provided for.
Writing my blog every week and being authentic is my way of serving and bringing glory to God. Taking the time to “hang out with God” reminded me of how loved and cherished I am.
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host
Simply A Woman of Faith
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