My aerobics teacher, Trixi, looked at me in class and said, “Pat is amazing and so are all of you.” What a nice reminder, but I thought to myself, “What would she say if she knew what I had just struggled with before coming to class?”
I wrote in my journal prior to class, “Can I or will I ever get to the point where I don’t judge others and am not affected by their behaviors?” I am divine and human and have feelings and opinions so perhaps it’s unrealistic to think I will never judge another person’s behaviors. I do believe that the more conscious I become and the more I love myself, the less judgmental I will be of others.
It is my problem when another person’s behavior disturbs me, whether it’s what they do or don’t do, or what they say or don’t say. Who am I to judge another when I have no idea what the person is suffering or going through. When someone is rude to me or acts inappropriately in my perspective, instead of shooting off my mouth and lashing out, I want my default to be to SEND THEM LOVE rather than judging them. I am not there yet, but it is where I am striving to be!
When I judge others or my buttons are pushed, I may be projecting my feelings onto them, rather than looking at myself and what’s going on inside of me. I may be accusing another of the very things I have disowned or rejected in myself. I have learned that when I “spot” something I don’t like in another person, I “got” it and it may very well be a call for SELF-LOVE.
Author Gay Hendricks, writes, “When I don’t or can’t acknowledge my feelings or accept something about myself, it is a sign that deep down, I don’t love myself. You will always find something to complain about, and the people in your life will always seem to be less than perfect, because you think you are less than perfect. Unless you can learn to love yourself, and accept yourself and your feelings, you will never be able to be fully loved by anyone else.
Hendricks also writes, “Intimate relationships are like temperature gauges for self-love. When you are by yourself, you don’t encounter the typical triggers that would indicate a lack of self-love. But a relationship will stir up our deepest needs and fears. When you possess a full reservoir, you do not require your partner to “fill you up.” If your partner is having a bad day or you have a disagreement, you are able to give yourself the love your partner is unwilling or unable to share at that time.”
I could relate to what Hendricks wrote about relationships are like temperature gauges for self-love. Here is what happened this week:
I judged Larry when he woke up in the morning complaining of stomach cramps. I didn’t say it, but wanted to say, “It’s your own fault, look what you are putting into your body every day. You are eating too many sweets, that is why you have cramps and feel terrible.”
When I realized I was judging Larry, I really felt bad. I prayed and asked Spirit to show me the truth. I didn’t want to admit and acknowledge that I had recently been eating more sweets and instead of looking at what I was doing, I had projected my feelings onto him. Even though it doesn’t feel very good to admit this, I am grateful that Spirit brought this to the light so I can do something about it.
I may not like Larry’s diet, but the truth is what Larry does or doesn’t do, what he eats or doesn’t eat is none of my business. I cannot change anyone but myself. I am being given an opportunity to love and accept myself. Here is the message from Holy Spirit:
“Don’t beat up on yourself. Learn from it. Love yourself and love your body. Eat good food as a way of self-care. I will help you when you ask for my help.”
I did ask for help and am pleased to say that the last several days, I have had little cravings for sweets. I had been so busy concentrating on my daily exercise and water intake, that I wasn’t paying attention to what I was eating.
I received this message from a friend today from Science of Mind magazine. “There is an internal help system that I can choose to rely on. When I call out for help, it is my innermost guidance system. In that moment of sweet surrender, HELP stands for Hello Eternal Loving Presence.
How about you? Is judging another’s behavior a problem for you? Is judging yourself an indication that more self-love is needed?
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