I teach people how to treat me

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 It’s easy to blame someone else for our unhappiness, our feelings, or the situation we are currently faced with. Have you ever said, “They make me so angry? If only they would change and stop doing what they are doing, I would be fine.”

We get triggered by others’ actions and we often react negatively. I have learned that triggers are about ME and what is not healed inside of me. Triggers are an invitation to love and heal myself, rather than focus on what someone did or didn’t do to hurt or offend us.

·        Whenever I think, something was done to me by someone else, I am living in victim consciousness.

·        When I blame, judge, hold grudges and resentments for what was done to me, I am living in victim consciousness.

·         When I complain about what’s going on and ask WHY or HOW something happened, I am in victim consciousness.

I lived in victim consciousness for years and didn’t even know it. I gave my power away by not speaking up, setting boundaries, saying no and not communicating my needs to my partner. I expected him to read my mind in what I needed, rather than to speak up and ask.

I believed that it was more important for “others” to love me than for me to love, appreciate, and honor myself. I realized today that it was backward. I need to love myself first before I can truly love another. Can you relate?

I have learned that we teach people how to treat us. If I don’t love and believe in myself, I will allow others to treat me poorly, take advantage of me and abuse me.  Then I blame and get angry at them, rather than look at myself and what needs to change in me so I can value and love myself.

Rather than living in victim consciousness and the lies that we are separate from one another, I am celebrating my freedom, as I set myself free from the bondage and false beliefs that were unconscious. Today, I live in peace, love, harmony, and joy, knowing all is well and perfectly planned in the mind of God.

The Course in Miracles which I love, teaches that I chose my lessons and experiences before I came into form for my soul to grow and evolve. This means I chose my parents, siblings, spouse, and all the experiences I have experienced so far in my life. If I believe that I chose everything and it is part of God’s plan, why would I be angry and resentful when things don’t go the way I want them to go?

It’s because I’m human and I have forgotten the truth of who I am. I want what I want when I want it. I want to control people, places, and things because I think I know better and want to be right. When I become AWARE that I’m in victim consciousness and my thinking is like a blender that won’t shut off, I practice bringing myself back to the PRESENT MOMENT. The past is gone and the future is not here with all the “what ifs” that may never happen.

I put my hand on my heart and say, “Come home Queenie Patricia.” I say it repeatedly until I feel peaceful.

For example: I had a conversation with one of my sons this week. During our chat, I shared how peaceful and happy I am in my life. When I got off the phone, I started to obsess and said to myself, “You just shared that with him the week before. You are repeating yourself and you need to apologize.”

My thinking was off and my ego was trying to rob me of my peace. My ego is vicious and doesn’t want me to feel peaceful. It will whisper in my ear that I’m not enough, wrong, will never make it, not safe, broken, inadequate, etc.

When I became aware that it was my ego, I stopped myself and put my hand on my heart and simply said, “Come home Queenie Patricia.” It was amazing as my peace came back and the obsessing was gone. I called my son and shared how my ego was acting up after our conversation. He thanked me and said, “Good catch mom.”

The journey back home to myself is about “awakening” to the truth of who I am as Love and Light and a child of the Divine. It’s to know I am ONE with God, my essence. Awakening is not for the faint of heart. It takes commitment and a willingness to do the inner work of forgiveness and letting go of what no longer serves me. Living in the PRESENT MOMENT is the greatest gift that I have given myself. I feel peaceful and at home. It is where Love lives.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

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