Larry said, “YES”

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What is most important to me is to be conscious of God’s will in my life, and there is peace in my heart when I am.  There are times when I need to discern what God’s will is for me and I do that through prayer and meditation.

It can be confusing and frustrating when I don’t know what to do next and have to wait for guidance.  Like most of us, I don’t like to wait, and I am often impatient.  Eventually, the guidance I am seeking comes and  shows up in many different ways: through a dream, another person, reading something in a book, seeing something on a billboard or a license plate, or just a deep knowing about what I need to do next in my life.

As Spirit guides me and I know what my next step is, I must be willing to take action and follow my heart, even when my head says, NO WAY.  I shared a few weeks ago that I wanted to celebrate my 70th birthday in a special way and go on a cruise, but Larry decided he didn’t want to go.

Through the grace of God, I felt peaceful and had surrendered not going on a cruise for my birthday. I had accepted that it wasn’t God’s will and was able to let it go. Through a series of unrelated events and emails that I received after writing the blog, I started to think about it again.

I felt conflicted and went within to ask myself some questions, “Am I being selfish and wanting my own way? Is this desire to celebrate my birthday on a cruise from God? Am I making a big deal out of this that will create problems for Larry and me? Am I denying myself something that I really want and that is important to me?”

When I shared my struggle with my friend, Kati, she asked me, “What do you really want to do for your birthday?” I said, “I don’t know.”  At that point, I really didn’t know what I wanted because I had accepted that I wasn’t going and had let it go.

That night when I went to bed, I asked God for a dream to help me discern God’s will. I did receive a dream and worked with it in the morning. It was clear that I really did want to go on a cruise and that I wasn’t being honest with myself or Larry.

How often in my life did I stay stuck (and didn’t get what I wanted) because I said I didn’t know what I wanted? It was probably easier to not speak up because I didn’t want to rock the boat.  I also wouldn’t be disappointed if I just denied my needs and desires and kept my mouth shut.  This clearly doesn’t work for me anymore.

Once I admitted that this is what I really wanted to do for my birthday, I made the decision to go on the cruise by myself if Larry still didn’t want to go. I trusted that the money would show up as it had so many times in the past when God led me to step out in faith. I was letting my heart lead me and not my head with all the reasons it wouldn’t work and I couldn’t go.

I contacted Norwegian Cruise Line again to discuss the Hawaiian island cruise.  To my delight and surprise, the agent informed me that there was a significant ($1,300) discount for people who lived in Hawaii. I could afford this cruise if I went alone or if Larry joined me.

When Larry came home that afternoon, I shared with him what was going on and the dream I had worked with. I said, “This is what I really want to do for my birthday. I would love for you to join me, but I am fine going by myself if you choose not to go with me”.

When we trust God and follow our hearts, all things work for the good and there is peace in our hearts. I am grateful to be living in God’s perfect will for me.


Being in a love relationship is so much more than it seems at “first sight.”  You know how it goes. You meet someone and are attracted to each another. You spend a lot of time together getting to know each other. You realize that you are very compatible and then “BANG” you decide to become a couple in a committed relationship and then live happily ever after.

Well, you may live happily ever after and you may not.  My experience with failed relationships has taught me that it requires a lot of work especially on my part.  I am continuously finding opportunities to change, grow, and learn and not to RESIST WHAT IS.

Life and relationships are so much about CHOICES.

  • How do I know which choice will be the best?
  • Will the choice I make be better for me or for my partner?
  • Will the choice I make be better for our relationship?
  • Am I being selfish if I make the choice that is best for me?
  • Am I being true to myself with the choice I am making?

Of course, being in a relationship is not always about “ME.”  Sometimes, it’s about US and doing things I may not want to do. It could be an opportunity to be understanding to the needs of my partner.

The latest opportunity for me in our relationship has been when Pat wanted to take a cruise to celebrate her birthday.  My initial response was, “I really don’t want to do that cruise since I have been on the Hawaiian Island cruise before and didn’t see the value staying in Maui for a day and a half on a ship when I live here.”

Initially I said, “If you really want me to go I will go with you.”   As I thought more about it, I said, “No, I really don’t want to go.”  She understood and affirmed me for saying no, which has been difficult for me in the past. She didn’t want me to go if I didn’t really want to so she tried to figure out a way to go by herself, but found that was too expensive.

I was relieved and thought the issue was closed.  I guess it wasn’t because a week later she decided to go by herself, regardless of the expense. She invited me to join her, but said she would go either way.

I knew then that this was really important to her and I didn’t want her to go alone.  So I changed my mind and agreed to go on the cruise with her.  I am CHOOSING to see this as an opportunity to make a loving choice for Pat and have a fun time together, regardless of where the cruise is going. I realized how happy I am to have her in my life to experience these adventures together.

Since she is really excited about the cruise and it brings her much joy, I agreed to go even though I am not as enthusiastic as she is, I am happy to accompany her and will be positive and supportive and look forward to having a great time with her.

Being in a relationship is like a dance. When you are dancing and moving to the beat and rhythm of the music and you’re in sync with one another, it’s a wonderful experience.   I think being in a relationship is about trying to incorporate the beat and rhythm of each other’s personalities, perspectives, wishes and desires. When we accomplish this through love, compassion, generosity and flexibility, it becomes a wonderful experience.

I hope in your relationship you have found the beat and rhythm that continues to make it a wonderful experience.

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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

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