My core mother wound

Posted by admin in Blog (Weekly), Blogs, Uncategorized

Nov
10

I started the day with a prayer: “As I prepare my heart to celebrate my birthday this week, help me to live in the moment with no expectations from others and the grace to receive all that is mine.”

God danced the day I was born and God danced the day you were born! Today is my birthday and I’m celebrating me and how far I’ve come and what God has done in my life. It’s been a long journey of remembering the truth of who I am and that I am ONE with God and with everyone and everything.

Are you able to celebrate yourself or do you think you are not enough? I am learning to give myself what I need, instead of looking outside for love, praise, validation, approval and value.

It wasn’t always like that though. For many years of my marriage, I felt stressed when my birthday came around. My ex-husband didn’t celebrate birthdays, or at least not mine! He would forget my birthday and I would cry and feel like a victim year after year. He would apologize and promise it wouldn’t happen again – until it happened again the next year.

My core “mother wound” shows up when I perceive I’m being ignored or forgotten, especially with family. As I’ve done my inner work and healed, it has diminished a great deal, but not completely gone. I’m learning to not take things personally and to know what others do or don’t do isn’t about me. They are doing the best they can.

I’m practicing self-responsibility, which means instead of blaming others and feeling resentful when I don’t get what I want, I take responsibility for what I need and want. I buy myself flowers, take myself out to lunch or get a massage.

I have no control over others and how they act, respond or say or do. But I do have control over how I respond and if I allow myself to take things personally and make it about me. That is ego’s playground.

“The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman has been very helpful to me in understanding my love language and what I need. They are: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Each one is important and expresses love in its own way. Learning your partner’s and your own primary love language will help create a stronger bond in your relationship.

Receiving gifts and cards is my #1 love language so you can understand how painful it was each year to be forgotten by my husband for my birthday. Quality time and affirmations are a close second.

When I was single, I bought myself flowers and a special gift for my birthday. Larry understands and honors my love language and buys me red roses whenever I return home from a trip. I’m so appreciative because he always buys me something special and finds the perfect birthday cards.

Over the years, my children have sent me beautiful, loving and meaningful birthday cards that I’ve saved in a special box. Sending cards is not their love language. They are busy with their lives and don’t always send cards the way they use to.

This is how I’m taking care of myself and being responsible. I found birthday cards from my kids that I’ve saved. I will display them and take the words into my heart. I know this was Spirit’s idea because it feels so good and comforting.

I know this will be a great birthday as I celebrate myself and the love that is within and without. Love is all there is.