Our relationship is like a dance

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My friend, Jodene, turned to Larry and I and said, “Thank you for modeling what a healthy relationship should look like. I want what you have.”

We were surprised and delighted by her comment and both said, “Thank you.” Larry then chimed in and said, “Pat and I are very much on the same page on many things and we love to laugh. We know how important self-love is so we don’t look to one another to fill us up. We each have our own lives and interests and aren’t threatened by what the other does or doesn’t do. We are secure in our love for one another. Our relationship is like a dance that just flows in perfect synchronicity.”

What a confirmation about our relationship being like a dance because the next night we were out dancing and a woman came up to us and said, “I love how you dance, you are in sync and it brings me such joy to watch the two of you.”

We are filled with gratitude to God for the abundance in our lives. Larry and I are creating a “conscious” love relationship with Spirit and enjoying the peace and pace of our lives.

I “show up” daily to do my inner work, meditate and pray and ask for help from Spirit. I release old thought patterns that no longer serve me. I face my fears and change my thinking when I need to. I let go of control and take responsibility for my actions. I speak my truth in love and let go of wanting to rescue or fix someone. I practice living in the NOW and being present to Larry.

What stands out for me in our relationship is the RESPECT we have for one another. We give each other “space” and the “freedom” to do what is right for ourselves, trusting we know what we need to do. Respect means valuing each other’s points of view, even if we disagree with it.  It is hearing what the other person needs and not pushing what we want on them.

Flexibility is important to us in our relationship. We don’t have any set rules, if you will. Sometimes I do the laundry and sometimes he does. Sometimes I cook and sometimes he cooks. We are both easy going and have learned to go with the flow in most things.

What I really appreciate about our relationship is how Larry is emotionally present to me. Whenever I am struggling or just want to talk about something, he will put down what he is doing and listen to what I have to say.

I have learned to ask for what I need from Larry. For example: When Larry came into the bedroom the other day, he could see that I had been crying. Of course, he wanted to know what was going on.  When I shared my feelings with him and what was bothering me, he instinctively did what men often do and that was to try to fix me. He said, “Choose love and see the other person’s perspective.”  I knew I would eventually choose love, but at that moment I needed him to just listen to my feelings and not give me advice. I said, “Here is what I need for you to say to me. Of course, you are feeling disappointed and angry, I understand.”

Because of who he is and his love for me, he was willing to say those words to me. He understands how important it is to not give advice, but to just listen to my feelings.  I have learned that to feel is to heal and that feelings are not right or wrong. I just needed to be heard, not fixed.

I prayed and asked for help from Spirit. I was able to move through the difficult situation very quickly and the results were amazing.

It is our hope that by sharing these qualities that work for us, that they will help you know what is important in your relationship.


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Pat Hastings

Author, Inspirational Speaker, Spiritual Coach, Retreat Leader & Radio Talk Show Host

Simply A Woman of Faith
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