I was at peace and had forgiven my father for sexually abusing me when I was a young girl when he passed away 25 years ago. It took me 3 years to forgive him. When I went into therapy to deal with suppressed memories of the abuse, I had no idea how long it would take.
After the first session with the therapist, I said, “I am ready to forgive him, I know he was drunk.” She looked at me and said, “You are not ready to forgive. It’s important you allow yourself to go through the grief process and feel all of your feelings.”
I didn’t want to feel sadness, anger, and depression. I wanted to forgive and get it over with. I knew that forgiveness was for me, not the other person. If I wanted to be free and peaceful, forgiveness was my answer.
I’m so grateful I listened to my therapist and allowed myself to go through the grief process. I couldn’t rush it or make it go any faster. I had to FEEL it all and it wasn’t pretty.
I remember exactly where I was when I heard Spirit say, “It’s time to forgive your dad.” I was really scared to call him after not having any contact with him for 3 years. With the grace of God and my willingness to forgive, I made the phone call and then visited him in Florida. Although I had forgiven him and felt peace in my heart after he died, I didn’t feel his presence or connection to him. I felt detached from him, until NOW.
A friend recommended a book that has shifted my perspective and made a profound shift in my consciousness. It is not for the faint of heart. It’s called, “Your Soul’s Plan: Discovering the real meaning of the life you planned before you were born” by Robert Schwartz.
Schwartz writes, “Love is the primary theme of pre-birth planning. Each soul is motivated by a desire to give and receive love, even in those instances when a soul has agreed to play a “negative” role to stimulate another soul’s growth. We are not being punished by God and we are not victims when we experience tragedy, sickness, trauma, or addictions. So many people blame God when tragic things occur, to us or to those we care about. It is empowering to know that OUR OWN SOULS decide on our major “happenings” that will help us grow and elevate our souls.”
I knew deep in my heart that before I came into form (the premise of this book) that God and I had agreed on what challenges and experiences I would encounter for my soul to grow and EXPAND. Challenges are for the purpose of soul advancement, sometimes individually and sometimes collectively.
This book has opened me up to a deeper understanding of the life challenges I’ve experienced and what I needed to learn (and still learning) on this life journey. We have free will and can say no to the pre-birth planning while in form.
As I am “awakening” and going within, I am remembering the truth that I ASKED & AGREED for these life experiences before I came into form. Knowing this, I am free to choose a different response; rather than being a victim and feeling anger, hatred, and blame, I am saying thank you. I had a choice to become bitter and resentful or to recognize that the experience, though painful, was a magnificent opportunity for me to experience self-love, self-care, self-responsibility, and self-appreciation.
· My father expressed love for me by providing the experience I ASKED for. Thank you for caring enough about me to play a role that was difficult for you.
· Thank you for keeping your promise and honoring our pre-birth contract.
· I am choosing GRATITUDE to all those who most challenged me and helped my soul to grow and expand.
Rather than judging another’s journey because it looks different from mine or what I would do, I am invited to honor and respect the path of those I love.
Whenever we judge, it separates us from those we judge. Separation creates fear and prevents us from awakening to a truth we knew before we were born; that we are all ONE and that we are all a spark of the Divine. To judge is to separate ourselves from our divinity; to release judgment is to remember it.
Author Byron Katie writes, “Everything happens for you, not to you” because we choose everything that happens for us–it is all part of our life’s plan. Realizing and accepting this can bring understanding and great peace.”
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