What men think of CHANGE

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Jan
21

There were several lessons or opportunities that I could have written about this week, but it would have probably been only a sentence or two, not a whole blog. Spirit is faithful and has never let me down over the last 9 years that I have been writing the blogs. I prayed and asked to be led to share what would be for the highest good for all.

This is what I received when I opened my email this morning. “Appreciation is the magic formula you’ve been seeking.” —Abraham

It is my belief that the more I appreciate myself, the more I appreciate other people in my life. I not only appreciate other people but I am learning to appreciate everything in my life. I have an “Appreciation Practice” that I practice every night before I fall off to sleep.

Instead of a nightly review of the day in my mind about where I need to change or grow or what I don’t like about myself, I think about all that I appreciate about MYSELF that day. Sometimes the list is short and other times it is quite long. Nothing is too small and it really feels good when I am done thinking of things I appreciate about myself. Often during the day, if I am tempted to say or do something that is not aligned with Spirit, I will think about the appreciation practice at night and it helps me to do the right thing.

Having a daily practice like this motivates me the next day to do the same things and more. Often during my prayer and meditation, someone will come to mind that Spirit wants me to reach out to. I send a quick text reminding them that they are loved. Larry has seen me on my phone during prayer and says, “Pat is calling God.”

To give you an example of what this look likes, I will share some of the things I appreciate about myself. Of course, this is an accumulation of things I appreciate and every day is different. These are simple things and not great things. Of course, your list will be different if you choose to do this.

• I appreciate that I did my weights this morning
• I appreciate that I ate healthy and stayed away from sugar
• I appreciate that I kept my mouth shut when I really wanted to speak my mind
• I appreciate that I was kind to the cashier at the supermarket
• I appreciate that I called my friend to say hello and send love
• I appreciate that I didn’t judge someone that I wanted to
• I appreciate that I had a “Pat Day” and played and had fun
• I appreciate that I processed my anger and was able to let it go
• I imprecate that I said no because I didn’t want to do something
• I appreciate that I prayed and meditated
• I appreciate that I set boundaries and spoke up
• I appreciate that I let go of control
• I appreciate the choices I made that brought me peace
• I appreciate how I take care of my body, mind and Spirit
• I appreciate how I am asking Spirit for guidance in everything
• I appreciate how I love my family and friends
• I appreciate my creativity
• I appreciate how I trust God to provide for all of my needs
• I appreciate how I am able to receive all that is given to me
• I appreciate that I kept my word
• I appreciate that I listened to Spirit for guidance and followed through
• I appreciate how I chose LOVE instead of FEAR

I encourage you to try this practice and let me know how it works. I guarantee you that miracles will happen. Maryann Williamson ays, “A miracle is a change in thinking.” Rather than focusing on what’s missing or lacking in your life, your focus is on what’s working and what is good. When we do this, we attract more good into our lives.

Larry

I know that some people are wondering why I changed my mind about marriage after being so against marrying again.  I don’t know if I can really explain the“shift” in me that led to my wanting to marry Pat. I know that if Pat had nagged or pushed me to marry her, I would probably not have experienced the “shift” that occurred. Sometimes when the energy of love is present, things happen and we can’t explain why or how.

I began thinking again of how different males and females think and how different our perspectives are. I am a lot more conservative than Pat and she is much more flexible and creative than I am. I’m not as open to change as much as she is.  I think it may be a male thing. When I’m in a good place and life is going along perfectly, I don’t want to change it. I just want to take time to enjoy it.  Pat likes to make choices that would expand our awareness and that sometimes means making changes.

If I hadn’t decided to take a chance and commit to a serious relationship, we wouldn’t be where we are now, living together and engaged to be married. It was a big decision for me to move in together because I was happy living alone in my own place. 

I wasn’t all that keen on taking a cruise to Australia almost two years ago and that turned out great.

If I hadn’t changed my mind and gone on the Hawaii cruise, (I really didn’t want to do at first),

I don’t know if I would have experienced the “shift” in me that started me thinking that perhaps marriage could be in our future. 

When Pat suggests that we do something out of the ordinary that will stretch me my default seems to be NO THANK YOU!  She has learned to plant the seed, back off and let me think about it.  Sometimes after I think about the suggestion for awhile, I come around.

I’m thinking that the energy of LOVE is always calling us to a greater consciousness, encouraging us to grow by recognizing our fears and deleting them from our lives.  From my experience, sometimes that can be very uncomfortable. What’s important to me is that I continue my journey and not allow fear to determine which direction to go.

“I felt a cloud over my head as the tears flowed down my face”

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Oct
8

I woke up this morning and said to God, “It’s the end of the week and I don’t have anything to share in my blog. I heard God say, “Have I ever let you down?” I said, “No God, you haven’t.”

I invited Angela to my home for coffee that afternoon. I sat there with my mouth open as she shared her powerful stories of how God has provided for her over the years. Five years ago, she moved to Maui with her 2 daughters, who were one and fourteen years old. She didn’t know anyone or didn’t have a place to live when she arrived. But, God provided miraculously for her and her children as soon as she got off of the plane. When we started to talk she said, “I think everyone has a book in them and I have been thinking about writing my story.” After listening to her share her stories, I felt excited and knew what I needed to do. I looked her in the eyes and said, “I will help you write your book, I will be your coach.” She smiled and said, “Thank you, I would like that and I will pray about it tonight.”

I met Angela 2 weeks ago when she attended, “Fall in Love with Your Inner Goddess.” She called me the day before the retreat to see if there was still room for her to attend. She said,” I went to the gym today and saw your flyer. I have never done anything like this before.” We still had space for her and she agreed to come.

I know it took a lot of courage for Angela to attend the retreat because she didn’t know me or any of the other women at the retreat. She was quiet, but had a beautiful smile that lit up her whole face. She said she loved the retreat.

I received an email from Angela a few days after the retreat. She wrote, “Pat, I just wanted to share something really awesome. When I saw your books on the table at the retreat, I thought to myself, “This book looks familiar and I wonder if I have it at home?” So after our women’s retreat, I went to my book case and there it was. I am not exactly sure how I got it, however, I have it and I’m reading it. I just think that even before we met we were connecting.

During our time together at my home, Angela remembered where she got my book from. She said, “A week before the retreat, I went to the library and at the front of the library they have books for sale. Your book jumped out at me and I bought it. I don’t always read the books I buy right away, but know that when I do read them, it is what I need to read. I put your book on my book shelf.” She also shared she had a gym membership, but hadn’t used it until the day she saw the flyer. She said, “Something told me I needed to be there because I want to learn how to love myself.” She managed to find a babysitter for her daughter at the last minute. She prayed about it and is excited about me helping her move forward in telling her story of God’s love.

I shared in last week’s blog about the “house swap” to Hana next week. The day after I sent out my blog, I received a call from Carol telling me her landlord was upset about her having friends stay at her place and she was unable to “swap houses.” I felt disappointed, but trusted that God had a better plan and stayed grateful. I remember reading “Disappointments are God’s appointments.”

Kati and I decided to rent a place for two days in Hana. Then, Kati’s landlord asked her to watch their dogs while they were away and would take $200 off her rent. It was the days we were planning on going away. This clearly was a closed door to go to Hana for my birthday. That same day, two other things fell through that I was disappointed about. All of a sudden, it felt like a cloud over my head, my energy was low and I wanted to cry. I knew this was not just about what was going on in my life today. I couldn’t figure out why because I know things happen for a reason and it always works out for my good. As I was driving my car to a breath work session that night, the tears started to flow down my cheeks and it hit me why I felt so low and what this “disappointment” was triggering in me.

For many years of my married life, I didn’t look forward to my birthday because I was often forgotten by my ex-husband. I felt disappointed year after year and it would be the same scenario of tears, hurt, anger and an apology and promise that it wouldn’t happen again. I had forgiven my ex-husband years ago so I was surprised this was coming up now.

What I realized is that I gave my power away for so many years because I expected someone else to make me happy. I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know that I make myself happy and I can be as happy as I want to be. Of course, when others do something nice for me, I appreciate it and it makes me feel loved.

I knew that my breath work session was going to be powerful and I was ready to feel my feelings and release whatever needed to be released so I could live in the present moment and enjoy all the gifts God was giving me. I didn’t want to live in the past and have buried feelings anymore. As I did my breath work, deep sadness came up that I allowed myself to stay in a place where I wasn’t respected and remembered. I needed to forgive myself for giving my power away and expecting others to make me happy.

During the breath work session, I felt God’s love and presence in a deep, profound way. It felt like something was being lifted from my heart. The next day, I felt loved, free, and playful and I knew there was a huge release. As I was walking to my car from the ocean, a woman in a silver convertible car passed me. I said, “I love your car.” Then I noticed her license plate that read, “Happiness.” I said, “I love your license place too.” She yelled to me, “My name is Happy.” Wow, I knew God was speaking to me.

The purpose of our lives is to be HAPPY. I know I am going to have a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY and I look forward to sharing it with you next week. When God closes a door, another one is opened. I can’t wait to see how this birthday is going to unfold and I am very excited about it.

“I gave myself a “pep talk” and said, You are a big girl now”

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Sep
17

I opened to this passage in prayer this morning from Alan Cohen’s book, “Wisdom of the Heart.” It really spoke to me and I have been thinking about how I have learned to love myself and give myself what I need. I loved the part that said, IT IS MY OWN LOVE THAT I WANT. How many of us have spent years looking outside of ourselves for love?

“Your relationships are your mirrors: The love you receive – or don’t receive – from others is a reflection of how much you love yourself. When you truly love yourself, you can never be abused. But when you don’t love yourself, nobody on the planet will be able to save you.

 If you feel sad or frustrated that you are not getting the love, appreciation, and acknowledgement that you crave from someone else, GIVE IT TO YOURSELF.  IT’S YOUR OWN LOVE YOU WANT, so why confuse yourself by seeking it from another? When you honor and nurture yourself, your happiness will proceed from within you, and you won’t have to depend on another for it. As you give yourself more love, your relationships will change to reflect your self-honoring.  Another person isn’t a source of your love – YOU ARE. True love is an inside job.”  Wisdom of the Heart, Alan Cohen

How do you give yourself love? Do you look to another hoping they will fill the emptiness and hole inside of you? Do you try to please others, often at the expense of yourself, so they will eventually love you more? Do you have a hard time saying no because you think you will be rejected, not liked, abandoned or someone will be angry with you?  I know what it is like because I did it all.

There are many ways that I have learned to love myself and I would like to share a few of the ways I loved myself this past week.

I will start with feelings – I have learned to invite all of my feelings in, to embrace and accept them, to honor and not judge them.  Most of all, I have learned to trust my feelings and give myself the time to process my feelings and allow them to move through me.  When I first started my spiritual journey several decades ago, I didn’t know what my feelings were, never mind, trust them. I would often ask others, “Would you feel this way if this happened to you?”  I looked outside for permission to feel my feelings. No more.

For example, this week a friend of mine sent me an email and wanted to introduce me to a new healing modality that he had been gifted with.  I said yes without giving it much thought.  But, then I started to feel uncomfortable and I didn’t know why. I didn’t want to disappoint him and back out, but I have learned to trust and honor my feelings and I wasn’t willing to discount my feelings, even though I didn’t have clarity about why I felt uncomfortable.  In the past, I would have said yes to please him and not disappoint him. In other words, I would have been more interested in his feelings than my own.  After all, I would be helping him practice this new healing modality that he had been gifted with and he was offering this to me as a gift. When we spoke on the phone, I was honest with him and told him that I felt uncomfortable and had chosen not to do it. I explained that it had nothing to do with him.

I accept gifts graciously – when it feels right and comfortable.  For example, I was sitting at the pool reading when a woman passed by and said, “I see your bag, are you from Rhode Island?”  I said, “Yes, I am, are you from Rhode Island?” She said, “No, but I went to college in Boston.”  That is how our conversation began and we talked for quite a while. When the waitress walked by and announced, “Happy Hour” she ordered a Mau Tai and said, “I would like to buy a drink for Pat too.” I said, “Thank you, I would love a Mai Tai with you.”  I told her when the drinks came that she would be on my “gratitude list” the next day.  That opened a whole conversation about the importance of gratitude and focusing on what we do have, rather than what is missing.  We just never know when or where we can share universal truths that may help someone.

Another way I have learned to love myself is by speaking up and asking for what I want, even though I might feel nervous.  For example, my landlord, who lives in Canada 6 months out of the year, returned unexpectedly yesterday and informed me that there was going to be some construction going on the property this week.  He said, “I don’t think it will be much of a problem for you.” Well, it was a big problem.  I had to cancel a coaching client because the construction was right outside my window and very loud. I needed to speak to the owner and tell him I would have to leave for the week.  After I ate my dark chocolate (to give me courage) and gave myself a little “pep talk” that I am a big girl now, I walked outside and said, “Doug, I cannot stay here this week with this construction going on and we need to come up with another plan.” He apologized for the inconvenience and asked me to come up with a suitable plan, which I did.

I had just spoken to my friend, Kati, on the phone and explained that I had to leave for a few days.  She invited me to stay in her ohana because she just “happened” to be going out of town. She has a lovely home in walking distance to the ocean.  I took her up on her offer, and off I went.

I believe I attract EVERYTHING into my life for my highest good. My brilliant and magnificent soul knows what it needs to attract and when it needs to attract it. I can choose to see what comes into my life as a challenge or a blessing and opportunity to learn, grow and heal. I chose to see this situation as an opportunity and gift rather than a problem to complain about.

While I was at Kati’s home, I was taking my “prayer walk” on the beach the first morning I arrived. I felt so blessed and was “high” on gratitude. I noticed this woman about my age approaching me with a hat on and thought, “Another hat lady on the beach.”  As she got closer, it looked like she recognized me and wanted to stop and talk. I didn’t recognize her so I took off my sunglasses to see her better. She came right up to me and enthusiastically said, “I have to share something with you.” I got excited and thought, “She has a message from God for me.”  I so enjoy when God gives me a message for someone and I love to receive them for myself.

She then opened her hand to show me a beautiful multi- colored blue shell and said, “I am so excited because I just found this at my feet and it is a confirmation for me.” Being the curious and interested woman that I am, I said, “A confirmation about what?” She said, “It is a confirmation TO BE MYSELF AND TO LET GO because I was just standing here looking in the ocean and dancing and thinking about this.  I said, “You mean to not worry about what others think” and she said, “Yes, exactly.”  Her name was Heidi and we chatted for a little while longer and she told me she lived in Hawaii for 26 years and raised 4 children here.

She could tell “I was getting what she said” and then took my hand and put it on the shell. She looked me in the eyes and gently said, “This is a message for you too.”  I thanked her for sharing her gift with me, as we parted.  I asked myself, “Is it that easy TO BE MYSELF AND TO LET GO?”  It has certainly been my life long journey to know and be myself and to love myself. Was she an angel giving me a simple, but profound message?  I think so.

As I continued my walk on the beach, I asked Spirit for a “confirmation” and started looking for a shell like the one she had found. I heard Spirit gently say to me, “You don’t have to look for your good, it will come to you and you will know  when it comes.” Yes, that is the truth and I will stop looking and just be open to whatever good you bring into my life.  I will continue to “Show up” for life and be grateful for all of my blessings.

Thank you Spirit for taking care of me this week; for Kati opening her home for me to stay, for loving myself and speaking up for what I needed, for meeting my “Angel Heidi” on the beach and receiving the message, TO BE MYSELF AND LET GO.  Thank you that my landlord will be taking off $250 from my rent this month and I had the opportunity to PLAY at the ocean.  Could it get any better than this?

“I acted as if I was Mrs. Astor when I went to Bermuda”

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Jun
12

People say. “If I’m always setting goals and reaching for the future, then am I not squandering my now?” And we say if in your now you’re using a future event to make you feel good, you are still feeling good in your now. And that’s the best use of now that you could ever find.  Abraham

I really like this quote because it reminds me of something I have been doing for a very long time and that is “acting as if.” It reminds me of faith-which is believing in something you cannot see.

When I went to Bermuda for the first time by myself 22 years ago, I frequented one of the nicest hotels and “acted as if” I was Mrs. Astor. I swam in the pool and sat on the deck overlooking the ocean.  It was so much fun imagining I was wealthy and prosperous. I have to laugh because I still frequent the finest hotels while living in Maui.

We are given the opportunity to “act as if” in many areas of our lives. Even when I don’t feel it, I “act as if” I am healed, abundant, whole, perfect, happy and joyful.  I “act as if” I have the perfect and right relationship, job, home and finances. When I feel afraid, I “act as if” I am courageous. And it works.  We “act as if” something is already done, like making a vision board with all your dreams on it.

I am still “acting as if” and enjoying the life I have created in Maui. For example, last night when I took my sunset walk along the beach, and sat on the lounge chair at the Marriott Hotel, I spotted the table (overlooking the ocean) set for 2 with fine linens and silverware. I wondered who the lucky couple was who were going to be dining there. I heard someone say that is cost $600 to have this special table with their own private waitress.

I wanted to be that woman who was going to be wined and dined sitting at the table overlooking the ocean. “Why not me,” I said to myself. Since the couple hadn’t arrived yet and the waitress was waiting patiently, I walked over and asked the waitress to take MY picture at the table. She smiled and said, “Sure, I would be happy to do that.”

As I walked back to my lounge chair to watch when the lucky couple would arrive, a woman stopped me and said, “Oh, you must be the woman who will be wined and dined tonight.” I smiled and said, “No, not this time, but I just had my picture taken, so I will remember how it feels to be wined and dined with a special table on the ocean.” I “acted as if” I was that woman who would be dining on the ocean. I will keep you posted!

I would like to share a story from my book, Simply a Woman of Faith as an example of “acting as if” and stepping out in faith.

“We both sensed we were being guided to look for another house to buy. We found an affordable house we liked and felt strongly God was leading us and would provide the money somehow.

A friend of ours suggested that my husband apply for a VA loan since he was a

veteran and would be eligible. We scheduled an appointment to meet with the manager in two weeks. “I’m sorry Mr. Hastings. It’s unlikely you’d be eligible for a mortgage with all your money tied up in your new business.” “I know, but I can still apply, right?” my husband answered. “Yes, you can. I just want to be up front with you about the unlikelihood of it going through.” My husband thanked him and said, “I’ll give it a chance.”

Our real estate agent knew about our faith and that we were trusting God to get us the house. She tried to be positive, but it was obvious she had her doubts. She called one day and said, “Pat, I don’t think it’s a good idea to put all your eggs in one basket. What if this house falls through? What will you do?” Are you sure it’s a good idea to give your notice at the townhouse before you know for sure you can get a mortgage?”

“Thank you Darlene for your concern. I know it doesn’t look good on paper, but my husband and I are certain it’s God’s will and it will go through.” Sometimes, it’s just God’s grace that gives you that kind of certainty – a knowing deep within. We stepped out in faith and gave our notice at the townhouse. We started packing boxes, “acting as if” all was well. We didn’t hear anything for a while and hoped that was a good sign.

With only two weeks left before the closing of the house, we became nervous. The boxes were stacked high in the living room and dining room – we were moving, no matter what. When I answered the phone, I could hear the hesitation in Darlene’s voice that she didn’t have good news. I took a deep breath and listened carefully.

“Pat, this is Darlene, I’m sorry but I just got a phone call from the manager of Sovereign bank. Your mortgage wasn’t approved. I’m sorry, I know how you were trusting God.”

“Is there anything we can do?” I blurted out. “Would you give me the manager’s name at the bank? Maybe my husband can call him and explain our situation.” “I’m really not supposed to do this. I could get fired……but, I’ll give it to you, if you don’t tell anyone where you got it from.” “Thank you, I promise we won’t tell.” I immediately called my friend Charlene to pray together on the phone. We asked God for a miracle.

I called my husband and gave him the bad news. “Joe, Darlene just called and told me we weren’t approved for the mortgage.” “What? That can’t be. Can I call someone?” “Yes, Darlene gave me the manager’s name at the bank. It’s Mr. Simeone, but don’t tell him where you got his name.” Joe called the bank and got directly through to the manager.

“Mr. Simeone, this is Joe Hastings. I recently applied for a VA mortgage at your bank. We just got the news that we weren’t approved.” “Why are you calling me? What do you want me to do about it?” he answered abruptly. “I’m just asking to see if there’s anything you can do for us. Maybe there’s been a mistake.”

“I’ll check it out and call you back.” A half hour later he called my husband back and said, “Mr. Hastings, I completely agree with this disposition. You weren’t approved because your money is tied up in the new business.” Silence. For some unknown reason the manager then asked my husband, “What makes you think that this business is going to be successful?” My husband doesn’t even remember what he said, but made up some story of why he thought it would succeed. “It’s the only Christian bookstore in the area and I know it’s going to be successful.”

To my husband’s surprise and delight, the manager replied, “Okay, I’ll approve it.”Divine intervention. It was our faith, “acting as if”, trust and prayer that moved mountains. We did our part and God did His. I couldn’t wait to call Darlene and tell her the good news.

“Darlene, Joe just finished talking to Mr. Simone at the bank and he approved our mortgage.” “Wow. You must know someone upstairs. I have a stack of mortgages here in front of me that didn’t qualify and they were much better than yours. Can I send them over to you?”

Where do you need to “act as if” and believe God is acting on your behalf? Faith is trusting that God will provide and everything will work out for my highest good and for the good of all involved. Faith is believing in myself and that I have everything I need inside of me. Sometimes I must “act as if” and see it on the inside until I can believe it in my heart and it becomes a reality.

“In my heart I accept my perfect being. I accept that the joy I have intended is already in my life. I accept that the love I have prayed for is already in me. I accept that the peace I have asked for is already my reality. I accept that the abundance I have sought already fills my life.”

“Who are the players in your life that help your soul to grow?”

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May
15

Something happened this week that reminded me of how I processed conflicting feelings at the same time. It felt like a “flashback” of a very difficult time in my life with one of my children 16 years ago. This is what happened: I woke up startled in the middle of the night with banging on the front door. I quickly grabbed my robe and ran down the stairs. A parent’s worst nightmare was about to happen. A policeman was standing at the door and I can still remember the terror I felt as if it were yesterday. “Mrs. Hastings, your son was in a very bad accident and he is in Rhode Island hospital.” I blurted out, “What happened, is he okay?” “I am sorry, but we cannot give you any information. We have been trying to call you, but your phone has been busy. I found out later that it was accidentally off the hook.

I ran upstairs and woke my husband up to tell him the news. I threw on something and we were in the car racing to the hospital, following the police car. We didn’t say a word to one another and of course my mind raced to the worst scenario. When we arrived at the emergency room, the nurse escorted us into the room my son was in. I will never forget the pain in my heart to see my 16 year old son wounded and crying out in pain. A short time later, I just about fainted and couldn’t breathe. I had never had a panic attack before, but I had one that night and I was put on a stretcher outside my son’s room. My husband went back and forth between my son and me.

My son has rods in his leg and arm that are permanent from the car accident.  When I saw the pictures of the car, I realized they should not be alive and I was so grateful that they were all alive. Shortly after that, I found out that they had been to a club and had smoked pot that night. I was so angry. I remember having the same feelings at the same time – gratitude and anger.

I had the “flashback” because of a similar experience of having conflicting feelings at the same time this week. I asked myself, “How am I to process this and hold the energy of these conflicting feelings?” This is what happened. A close friend of mine shared something wonderful that happened to her and I was so excited for her. A couple of hours later, another close friend shared something that was devastating to him. I was experiencing the same thing, both the gratitude and the devastation at the same time. I asked myself, “Could I be present for both of them at the same time”? With God’s grace, I was able to be present for both of my friends.

We never know what life is going to give us, do we? One minute we are high on life and everything is going smoothly. The next minute we are experiencing a great loss and may feel devastated or betrayed. All I know for sure is that whatever is happening in my life will work out for the good because of my faith and trust in God. Everything that is happening in your life is for a reason and ultimately to grow your soul.

That same day, I received an email from my friend Karen and it put things into perspective for me and reminded me to rise above “victimhood and poor me attitude” when things don’t go the way I want them to go or when a loved one is struggling and in pain.  This is the email she sent:    

“You have chosen to walk this journey with many other souls. Each and every one of them is in your life for a reason, an experience, or to share in your life lessons and spiritual growth. What I believe is, before we even came into this lifetime we chose each and every player in this game called life. Imagine this visual. You are sitting with a council of spiritual guides and you’re talking about your life plan including what you would like to heal, experience, and create in this lifetime. Then you meet with each soul that will support you in this plan and you decide on the roles they will play in your life experience. Together you discuss and agree upon a soul’s plan that will support all involved in their life’s intentions. Every decision and choice is made from unconditional love. This includes the players in the game that agree to play the difficult roles in order to achieve the desired intentions.”

If you can see it from a higher perspective, that it is for your spiritual growth and that you have chosen this before you even came to the earth, would it be easier to go through? We all have our lessons to learn for our soul to grow. We have chosen these lessons.

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime.

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

~Author Unknown

No relationship or experience is ever a waste of time. If it did not bring you what you want, it taught you what you don’t want. The greatest gift we can give anyone is our presence and love. When you need encouragement, remember these things. You are stronger than you realize. Life’s inevitable adversities call forth courage and the growth of our souls. You have everything you need inside of you, including wisdom. God’s plan will unfold with perfect timing and in the perfect way. Being vulnerable and allowing other players to nurture and be present for us allows our hearts to connect in a very special way for a reason, a season or a lifetime.

“Do I deserve to receive a 12- day all expense cruise?”

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Apr
18

I would like to share with you what Spirit revealed to me in prayer yesterday.  I picked an angel card and it was the angel of TRUST. This is what it said, “You are about to experience an accelerated period of spiritual growth and breakthrough in which your definitions of love will change. You are encouraged to maintain your trust and belief in yourself as a worthy and effective vehicle of positive action. Whatever your fears, insecurities, the angels are working with you to bring you into greater clarity with the nature of love. Love is the capacity to allow all other living things to grow into the fullest expression of self. The love that you are learning to give is the same that you long to receive: without judgment, acceptance of differences, kind and forgiving, hopeful and courageous. TRUST holds love in place in your life.

I believe this message is not only for me, but for you who are reading this. Love is all there is. We all want to be loved and to love. It is who we are and where we came from. God is love, we are love.  We are called to love our neighbor as ourselves.  Many ask, what is my purpose in life? I believe that my purpose in life is to love. First and foremost, I must love myself. Can I really love another if I don’t love myself? I don’t know all the answers, but I don’t think so. Since God and I are ONE can I love God if I don’t love myself?

Learning to love myself has been a lifelong process and will be until I leave this earth. I have shared in other blogs that there was a time that I didn’t love myself or believe in myself. I compared myself to others and beat up on myself when I didn’t measure up or I made a mistake. I have an example that happened this morning that I could see my growth. I woke up early because I had to go to the lab and get blood tests. I found the paper I needed to bring with me and put it on the kitchen table. I got dressed and off I went to the lab. I arrived at the lab and was about to get out of the car when I spotted a man walking in with a piece of paper in his hands. I said out loud, “Oh, I left the paper on the kitchen table.” I immediately started thanking God (because it is my belief that all things happen for my good) and turned my car around and drove home to get the paper. I didn’t say one disparaging remark to myself about forgetting the paper. What would you have said to yourself? Be honest! 

Another thought just came to me. If I don’t love myself, can I truly allow another to love me? I don’t know. I have to ask myself, “Do I feel deserving and worthy of love?”  How many times have we blocked our good and what God wants to give us because we didn’t feel worthy and deserving? I remember when my friend Ellen invited me to stay in her condo in Maui (while she was away) for a month in 2011. I was feeling “unsettled and guilty” the week before the trip and as I prayed about it, Spirit showed me on a deeper level that I was feeling unworthy and undeserving. Thankfully, I recognized this distorted belief and quickly changed it to the truth of who I am as a child of God. Today, I am living and loving in Maui. I shudder to think that I could have blocked my good and receiving this gift to live in Maui because I didn’t feel deserving and worthy (which sometimes masked itself as guilt).

I read in Alan Cohen’s book, “Enough Already.”  “I do not worry about what will happen in the future or “someday.” Deep in my soul, I AM READY to be a full expression of God’s spirit right now. I give thanks for the opportunity to fulfill my heart’s desires. Aligning my thoughts with Spirit, I proclaim what is true about me and for me. Align your thoughts, feelings, words and actions with a success attitude and positive events will follow. People who have an abundance mentality keep attracting more of what they want and need. Those with a lack mentality keep attracting something missing.”

For a long time it has been my heart’s desire to travel. I was a speaker on the Norwegian Cruise Ship to Mexico In January, 2012.  I had a fabulous time and since then, I have wanted to go on another cruise. Every time I see the Norwegian cruise ship in the Kahului Harbor, I say to myself or to whoever I am driving with, “I really want to go on another cruise.” I even have a picture of a cruise ship on my kitchen cabinet.

A couple of weeks ago, my friend, Larry,  invited me to go with him on a 12- day cruise to Denmark, Norway, Sweden, German and Scotland – all expenses paid! We will fly into London and spend 3 days there and then go on the cruise.  I have never been to Europe nor have I ever traveled with a man other than my husband or finance. I know friends of the opposite sex travel together all the time, but this is new territory for me, for sure.  I asked myself some questions:

*Did I attract this gift into my life by aligning my thoughts and feelings to what Spirit wanted for me?

*Could I accept this trip as a gift from God?

*Did I feel deserving and worthy?

*Could I trust myself and my intuition that this was right for me?

*Was I willing to take a risk and travel with someone of the opposite sex (without any strings attached?)

*Was I ready to be a full expression of God’s spirit and fulfill my heart’s desires?

Of course, I felt excited about the prospect of going to Europe on a cruise. I told Larry, “I will pray about it and let you know.” I can hear some of you who are reading this-pray about it, are you nuts? Well, I did pray about it and went inside to see how it felt. I felt peaceful and excited. I have learned to trust my inner guidance and intuition as God’s voice within.

I am happy to say that the answer is YES to Larry’s invitation to go on a cruise with him. I say yes to God and to all the good that God wants to give me. I am deserving and worthy to give and receive more love in my life. I realize that I have received more than I asked for because the universe had a bigger idea for me than I had for myself. TRUST holds love in place in my life.

The Wind Star (name of ship we will be sailing on) is a sleek, four-masted sailing yacht accommodating 148 guests. With four decks and a gross tonnage of 5,350, the Wind Star feels like your own private yacht. Wind Star features wide open, teak decks—quite unusual for small ships. With over 10,000 square feet of open deck space, guests will find hidden nooks for private moments giving them a feeling of being on their own private verandah.

I just received an email from a friend and this is what she wrote: When you surrender to the wind…you can FLY!!  And that is exactly what I find myself doing. Without controlling the how, why, and where…great blessings are appearing…and offering me the opportunity to SOAR!!  Life has lifted me from the stagnant waters of hesitation…and placed me smack dab in the center of experiential BLISS!!

YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT; ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS WHAT YOU WANT

This is a subtle but paramountly important and exciting key to personal success. It means that there is much more to the universe than we have believed, and if we really expect to realize our dreams, we must allow God to deliver our blessings to us in ways deeper than we can plan and understand. There is an old saying that “The Lord moves in mysterious ways.” God is like the driver of a universal Greyhound bus. Once we have decided where we want to go, we can “sit back and leave the driving to Him.” If we would just choose a nice window sear and relax, we would find ourselves as our destination in no time. Instead, we make it hard for ourselves because first of all we are not sure which bus to get on; we vacillate at the ticket counter, mulling indecisively over a number of possible destinations. The agent can’t sell us a ticket if we don’t tell him where we want to go. Then once we’ve made our decision and we’ve stepped aboard the Greyhound to God, we immediately try to wrestle the wheel away from the Driver, insisting we know a better way. Then, even after we have surrendered the wheel and we arrive, we have a tendency to want to hide in the back of the bus, wondering if this is really where we want to go. And maybe we should turn back.  Alan Cohen – Rising in Love pg 75

I would like to end with my favorite scripture. “For I know the plans I have in mind for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29-13   

“This is to personal God, I am not sharing it”

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Apr
2

“I open my heart and mind to be aware that I have allowed what others believe about me to become what I believe about myself.  If you fail to take the time to question why you do what you do, you can become convinced that you cannot do anything else.  Other people will help you feel convinced. People are in the habit of telling other people who they are. They tell you who they expect you to be, who they need you to be and who they want you to be.”   Until Today – Iyanla Vanzant –  March 18

It is much easier to write about something in my life that I have changed and that has been transformed by the grace of God.  It’s more difficult and vulnerable to write about something that is in the process of being transformed and healed because there is the fear of being judged or misunderstood.  It has been my intention each week to be as honest and authentic as I can be because I want to do God’s will and be a pure instrument of love.  I know that openness breeds openness.

In last week’s blog, I wrote about the importance of celebrating our growth and acknowledging where we have come from. I think it is equally important to honor and love those parts of ourselves that still need God’s healing touch and grace. This week I will share with you a struggle that I have had for many, many years.

About a month ago, I worked with a recurring dream that was very significant.  After writing in my journal, I said to God, “I am not sharing this in a blog.  You really don’t want me to share this, do you? This is too personal.”  Today, I heard Spirit say, “Yes, I want you to write about this in your blog today.” As I thought and prayed about it, I realized that if I am struggling with it, there may be others out there who could also be struggling with it. I share this part of my life with you in humility and faith, trusting that God is healing me and will heal you if this is your struggle.

It has been my experience and my belief that God speaks to us through our dreams.  I dreamt that my first boyfriend Steve left me. I know that every part of the dream is about me. In working with past dreams with Steve in them, I know that he represents my animus (which is the male part of me.) There is a technique that I use where I dialogue with the object in the dream to get clarity on the wisdom of the dream. This is what was revealed to me.

I dialogued with Steve and asked him, “Why are you in my dream and what is your gift?” I was surprised when he said, “I am here to teach you about love.” I answered, “What do you mean?” He replied, “Loving yourself is the most important relationship you have.” I was confused because I thought I was loving myself and wrote, “I am loving myself more than I have ever loved myself. Do I leave myself and if I do, how do I do it?”

I sat quietly for a few seconds and then it came bubbling up to the surface. “Oh, my body image, is that it, God? Do I not love, honor and cherish my body?” I felt deep within that this is what I needed to look at and where I needed healing.  I then began to write a letter of forgiveness to myself forgiving myself for the years of “beating up” on myself, for judging my body for not being good enough, for feeling fat and not skinny enough.  I wrote, “I want it to STOP NOW. It will STOP NOW! I want to love, treasure and honor the body you have given me. I ask for your help God, I need your grace.” I know that if I don’t love my body, I will not be open to a man loving my body. It all starts with me.

I became honest with myself and admitted that I have obsessed about my weight and how I look all of my life. I ate cottage cheese and peaches for a week so I could fit into the dress for the wedding that was too tight. I have probably been on every kind of diet there was at one time or another; the grapefruit diet, soup diet, Atkins diet and “Weight Watchers.” I know there are more, but I can’t remember them now.

YUCK, embarrassing and not easy to admit, but I also know that the truth will set me free.  I choose to bring to the light what has been hidden so that God’s love will heal me. For those of you who know me personally and because of the pictures I send each week, you might think, “She’s crazy and I wish I had her body.”  You may wish you had my body, but being obsessed about weight and body image is not something you want.  This is distorted thinking and crazy!

God brought to mind that it started when I was very young.  When I was 12 years old, my mother, who was on a diet, took me to a doctor to get diet pills. I was not overweight!  As an adult, whenever my father visited me, he would comment, “You gained weight or you lost weight and you look too thin.” I recognized that my unconscious belief has been, “I must be the perfect weight and look perfect to be loved.”  My parents always told me I was pretty, so I believed that I was pretty. As the opening reading said, “I have allowed what others believe about me to become what I believe about myself.  If you tell yourself something long enough, you will believe it- the good and the bad.”

I felt a deep sadness and loss when it sank in that for over 50 years I have lived with this belief.  I went to the ocean and asked Mother Maui to heal and restore me as the tears rolled down my cheeks.  This month I have focused on loving and cherishing my body. My prayer has been “Divine Love, heal my distorted body image.” Every morning when I get out of bed, I look in the mirror and love all parts of my body and I am listening to Oprah and Deepak 21 day meditation series on loving the body.

With God’s grace and my willingness to change, I have stopped beating up on myself that I am too fat. I am giving myself loving kind messages. I know this is a process and will not change overnight, but I know I am on the right track since it has come to the light and I am willing to do what I need to do to heal this distorted image.

Do you love your body or do you beat up on yourself? You may think you are too short or too tall, or you don’t like your hips, or you have too many wrinkles or you are losing your hair.  What don’t you like about your body? Isn’t it time to begin to love and honor the body you are living in?

My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit and God wants me to love and care for my body.  I will see myself through God’s eyes – a beautiful creation of love and light. I will love, treasure and honor the body God has given me.  I am grateful that I continue to blossom and grow into the woman God intended me to be.

When I look back on all the other limiting beliefs that God has healed and enabled me to transform, I know that I am using the same processes with healing the limiting beliefs about my body.  I allowed myself to pay attention to the inner messages that were coming up in a dream, I brought the uncomfortable feeling and beliefs into the light and asked for healing, and I became wiling to change what I think and say to myself about who I am, (which is more than the body I am in).  I am starting to feel more and more peaceful and my affirmations are becoming stronger and more natural to me as I practice them on a daily basis.  This is how I have healed everything else in my life and I know that my faith in a loving God and my faith in the power of this inner work will guide me to a place of genuine love and appreciation for the beautiful temple my spirit resides in.

Heart Steps – Julia Cameron pg. 59

There is no separation between body and soul, spirit and matter. One essence, one unity, runs through all of life. This essence, the God-force is completely pure, completely perfect. I claim for myself the health and perfection of this divine force. My body is beautiful, sacred and beloved. Spirit infuses my body with radiant goodness. I experience vitality, enthusiasm, energy and power. My physical nature and my spiritual nature are one and the same. My body’s needs and urges are divine in origin.

Currently, 80 percent of women in the U.S. are dissatisfied with their appearance. And more than 10 million are suffering from eating disorders. Why women hate their bodies

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/06/02/why-do-women-hate-their-bodies/

“I gasped when I opened the envelope with $500 in it”

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Jan
24

Is your focus on taking care of others?

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Sep
3

I woke up this morning feeling a little “out of sorts.” As I lay in bed pondering what was really going on, I realized that following my heart and dream is not always easy. While I may be excited about my life adventure and what I am embarking on, it became clear to me that it was also causing my loved one’s some pain. Even though I know they only want my happiness, it is still difficult for them to see me leave and not be present as I have been for them all of their lives. It doesn’t matter if you are leaving a marriage, a job, your home or family and friends, there is a loss and feelings needs to be processed. I acknowledged this and allowed myself to feel my sadness and grief that I was contributing to their pain. But I also know with absolute certainty that I am following God’s plan for my life and so that is for the highest good of all of us.

If you are like me, and especially if you are a mother, my focus was on taking care of my children and making them happy. That was my responsibility and I gladly did it. In the past, I had a hard time taking care of myself and felt guilty wanting to do what I wanted to do because it felt selfish. I thought that I “should” take care of others first, but it was often at the expense of myself.

Today, I know that taking care of myself and loving myself, have to come first, then I can truly be there for others and love them, but I had that backwards for a long time. Over the years this has been a major shift for me and I know it’s my turn to spread my wings and fly. Not only have I learned to love myself, I know that I am teaching my children how to do the same.

How about you? Do you have a hard time putting yourself first? Have you put your dreams and needs on the back burner thinking that was the loving thing to do? Are you afraid of displeasing someone or disappointing them? Is it time for you to say YES to your dreams and passions?

As I was driving to the dentist this morning, I was thinking about my role as a mother, and how much I still miss my own mother who died 45 years ago. Her name was Honey and whenever I’ve needed to feel her presence over the years, I would hear the song Honey on the radio. I hadn’t heard it for a very long time and doubted I would hear it today, because it came out right after she died 45 years ago. I asked God to let me see or hear Honey in my travels that day. I forgot about it and went about my business.

After my dentist appointment, I met a friend for lunch and as I was pulling out of the parking lot, I spotted the license plate that read HON 1. Yes, I felt her presence and said, “thank you God!” Just a few hours later, I received an email from someone, and she finished her email, with the words, Enjoy HON and thank you for inspiring me in your newsletter!

When we need confirmation about something, there are Messages are all around us, but first we must ask for help, and then be open and present to see them,  I’ve had many incidents this week where God answered my prayer and “showed up” for me, giving me exactly what I need to know that I am on track. I put my bedroom set on Craigslist and received a call that night from a man who was interested in coming to look it. We agreed that he would come the next morning and he told me “I will be coming in a truck,” but I was still surprised when he arrived in a very big truck! I showed him the furniture and he bought it on the spot. He wanted to take it with him since he lived in New York, but the only problem was that there wasn’t anyone to help him carry the furniture to the truck. He said, “I will walk outside and see if I can find someone.”

My neighborhood is quiet and you don’t see people just walking around, so I quickly prayed, “Please God, bring someone that can help him move the furniture to the truck.”  He was gone for a little while and I didn’t know where he went. Then, I saw him walking back down my street with a young man walking with him. I smiled and said, “Thank you God!” There is a construction crew working on a house on the corner of my street and this man knocked on the door and offered one of the men working there $20 if he would help him move my furniture into his truck.

I realized that not only did God answer my prayer, but I am growing more and comfortable in asking for what I want and expecting I will get it. I have actually sold many things on Craigslist this summer including bikes, air conditioners, tables, bedroom set, desk, and bookcases, and what is interesting is that one person calls, comes to look at the item and buys it. It flows with peace, ease and grace and confirms for me that it only takes one person to come and buy what I have to sell.

That got me thinking about selling my house, and so when I met with my real estate agent this week, I said “Joe, I think one person is going to look at my condo and that person will buy it.” He smiled and said, “I hope so, Pat.” I hope so too, but I do more than hope – I expect it!

                       Unity Daily Word September/October 2012

                                  My faith in God is unshakable

When I pray for prosperity, healing, guidance or peace of mind, I know that God is not outside me, deciding to either give or withhold my wishes. God is within me as pure divine abundance, wholeness, wisdom and serenity. It is my faith in God that answers my prayers. I may not be able to see what my faith will manifest, or whether my activities will generate the outcomes I desire. But my steadfast faith, attuned to God in prayer, reminds me that God’s spirit is moving in and through me and is active in all situations. As I become more aware of the activity of God in my life, I look beyond any uncertainty or doubt to the assurance that, regardless of the outcome, Spirit will be with me.

RELAX – God is in control

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Jul
26

As I was pulling out of the restaurant parking lot last Sunday, I could hardly believe my eyes when I saw a sign on the back bumper of the car parked next to me. It read, Relax – God is in control. I beeped for my friend Glenn to get out of his car so he could also see the sign. I said, Holy S…… He said, “Are you kidding me? It is the exact words we just talked about as we walked out of the restaurant.” He was speechless other than a softly uttered “thank you” because we knew this was GOD speaking to us both. He took a picture of the car and put it as a screen saver on his phone to help him remember the message! He said, “This is a message I can’t afford to ignore, a message clearly given out of Love and felt in my Soul.” We left the restaurant in awe of the power of God and the love we both felt. It truly was a “Divine Connection.”

I almost missed this “Divine Connection” of God speaking to us through the bumper sticker because I was coming from a place of lack and scarcity. Let me explain. I met Glenn at the church we both attended, and after the service he asked me, “Would you like to go to lunch?” I hesitated at first because I didn’t want to spend the money. I had been out to lunch with friends several times that week and I didn’t feel comfortable spending any more money. I said, “Thank you for the invitation, but I will have to pass for today.”

After he left the church, I quickly realized I was coming from lack and scarcity because I did have the money. I ran out after him and called his name. “Glenn, I changed my mind and I would be happy to go to lunch with you.” I was honest and said, “I was coming from a place of lack and scarcity and I no longer choose to live in a state of lack.” He told me a few days later what he heard after he left the church to go to his car.. “Glenn, walk slow, she might change her mind” and then “listen, in case she calls your name” right before I called his name. I am so grateful that we were both listening to our “inner voice” and God (which I believe are the same.)

While driving to the restaurant, I heard God say, “I want you to pay for his lunch too.” When I hear God, I listen. When the bill came, I grabbed for it and told him, “I am buying.” He looked uncomfortable and said, “This is killing me.” I asked why and he said, “I have to learn to receive and not always be giving.” He was learning to receive and I was practicing not to live in lack and scarcity.

We sat in the restaurant for two hours and the conversation about life and spirituality just flowed. We talked about the importance of not “reacting” and making decisions out of fear and lack . His parting words to me were, “I think I need to put the brakes on in my life.” I then told him about my sign RELAX that I purchased several years ago when I was rushing and trying to make things happen and it wasn’t working. I desperately needed to learn to RELAX. He described himself as an ACTION person and that he had tried everything in his life to be happy. He admitted that he was hitting walls and didn’t know what to do next. I shared how I have learned to trust and accept that I am right where I need to be and that “Not Knowing what was next” was okay.

Glenn sent me an email after our “Divine Connection” and said, “Pat, before I attended church that morning, I asked myself, What are you going to do about your life? A numb feeling of distress filled me as I held back the true fear that was rushing through me. I was struggling and in need of help, help to learn how to care for myself as I did for others.  I was trapped in my own mind-set surrounded by my personal weaknesses and feeling overwhelmed.”

He shared with me, “As I soaked in every word you said at lunch, I finally felt the connection to my Creator push forward from where I had buried it. My hope began to come back, my sense of calm re-appeared and the confidence in my spiritual path and a better tomorrow over-took me.  Thank You God for the message I needed. Thank you Pat for pointing it out. Thank you for the lunch that led me back to the path that I cherish and has brought me so much peace and happiness since its inception that I have to pinch myself to know it’s not a wonderful dream.”

I am grateful that I listened to my intuition and acted “quickly” and that I was able to be honest with Glenn. I am grateful that Glenn was open and asked for what he needed. I am grateful to God for His love, for speaking to us both so powerfully and allowing me to serve him that day.

I thought about the bumper sticker all week and how it applied to my life. My house was on the market for one week and I was feeling some impatience (can you imagine that) that no one had looked at my house yet. When I went to bed that night, I prayed for a dream and asked God if I should lower the price of my house. All I remembered about the dream in the morning was that I was rushing. It felt like God was reassuring me not to rush that everything was under control.

As I took my walk the next day, God impressed on my heart exactly what I needed to do: rather than worrying, being fearful, living in the “what ifs” and the HOW and WHEN my house will sell, I needed to up the ante with my affirmation of gratitude “Thank you God for the right and perfect person to buy my house for the right price and right timing.” So it became my mantra whenever I thought about the house and it brought me peace and serenity.

On another note, I opened my email a few days ago and there was an email from my son Tim. He commented on my last blog and said, “When I looked at the picture that read KEEP ON PATH, what I saw was KEEP ON PAT H – KEEP ON! I loved it. So I will leave you with KEEP ON, KEEP ON!