Accepting “What is”

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Apr
18

I’ve spoken to several friends this week and as we shared with one another the challenges, opportunities, and lessons we were experiencing during this time of awakening.  We all agreed that the bottom line for all of us was to trust, surrender and accept “what is.”

Is it easy for you to surrender and accept “what is” in some areas of your life and not in others? Surrender happens when we know that we don’t know and we cannot think or see our way through where we are. We don’t have the answers and more effort, more doing, more thinking, more control, more plans don’t work.

Surrender is turning the results over to a Power greater than ourselves. When everything we’re doing, saying, and trying to make happen is no longer about trying to control the future, or producing a certain result, we’re able to drop into the present moment and experience this moment directly, as it is.

When we surrender to what is, there is a great sense of ease, relief, and peace. We know we can’t fix or figure it out and we give up the belief that we can make reality different than what it is. Surrender is not for the faint of heart and it’s not easy. You may have difficulty surrendering and accepting:

•  Your inability to create abundance and what you want in your life.
•  Health challenges.
•  Relationship challenges.
•  Financial challenges.
•  Unemployment or an unfulfilling job.
•  Your children or grandchildren suffering.
•  Your own addiction or a family member’s addiction.
•  Grief and loss of a loved one.

The spiritual path invites us to accept everything as it is at the moment. The mind tries to control everything to try to keep us safe, make us happy and make our lives better. Our minds will fight with, reject, deny, ignore, push against, and keep maneuvering to change those situations that we don’t want.

If I want peace in my life, accepting what is in the moment is my goal. I lose my peace when I worry, obsess, blame, judge, and try to control other people and outcomes. I cannot change other people; all I can change is myself and my behaviors and attitudes.

When I have a difficult time accepting what is, it is usually because of fear of the future. I suffer when I refuse to accept what is happening in the moment. There is a line in a song that says:  Only what is, what if what is, is just right?

I struggle with accepting my health challenges, especially when I don’t know what’s going on in my body or why something is happening. I feel afraid and want to fix and control it immediately. Patience is not my strongest point when it comes to my health and I struggle with accepting “what is.”

I have been on a journey of healing my gut for several years with diet and exercise with intermittent success and failure. I had a difficult time accepting that I had a sugar allergy. Until I accepted what is, I was in and out of denial thinking I could eat just a little sugar and be ok. What a roller coaster that was. It’s one day at a time as I surrender, trust, and accept what is. 

Surrender and accepting “what is” are true gifts. When we finally acknowledge that we can’t do it, we give ourselves the opportunity to be carried by Spirit who is taking us where we need to go, even though we have no idea where that might be.

What area do you have difficulty trusting, surrendering and accepting “what is?”

I let go and let go

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Jan
10

I looked at my friends, Kerry and Sharon, and said, “How long shall we wait until we close up shop?” Kerry and Sharon came to support me and set up when I presented my introductory talk “Awakening to your Sacred Sexuality” at the Wailea Healing Center. The presentation was scheduled to start at 7:00 p.m. and there wasn’t a woman in sight.

Clearly, we were disappointed, but trying to accept “what is.” My weekend workshop is scheduled for January 5^th & 6^th and I was hoping we would get some more women to sign up for it

We were happy and surprised when two women walked in at 7:05. I welcomed them and engaged them in conversation. They were from California and were on vacation. They wouldn’t be coming to our workshop, but while searching for a yoga class on the Wailea Healing Center’s website, the women spotted our workshop and knew they were meant to come to hear the talk, as they both worked with women and were very interested in the subject.

As I started to give my presentation (that I also gave a few weeks ago at the Unity Church) with my index cards and flip chart, I put the cards down and started to just share from my heart and never used the flip chart. I shared my experience with this powerful healing and how I was led into it. I had no idea where I was in my talk or if I would forget something important, but I didn’t. I had surrendered and trusted I was being led.  When I let go, Spirit took over.

I invited the women to share their experience with sexual healing and asked them what they knew about it. Both the aunt and her niece, were so willing and open to share their stories. They had many questions because both had been sexually abused and they were from alcoholic homes.

The aunt has been sober for 7 years and works with women in sobriety. She shared that many women have memories of being sexually abused when they get sober. The niece works with women veterans and we suspect there is a high incidence of abuse in women veterans

Wow, what an intimate and beautiful sharing we had for 90 minutes. We could not have gone as deep as we did if there were more women attending. Spirit knows best and I am learning to trust that everything is perfect and there is no right or wrong about anything. It’s all good.

I offered them a sacred healing session in my home before they returned home to California. I received an email from the niece the next day asking me if she could have a session with me.  We have a session scheduled this week. Here is her email.

Aloha beautiful Pat!

I am doing so wonderful and am still dancing in the bliss of the other evening and so grateful for spirit aligning our journeys with one another.

I would love to talk more about the possibility of offering a weekend gathering or workshop in California and will let spirit lead and see what comes into fruition!

I am completely surrendered and trusting that the women who are meant to attend our workshop will be there and they will find it as I did. I get out of the way and let Spirit lead. I don’t think it gets any better than that. Do you? I would love to hear your story of allowing Spirit to lead you and what happened.

Surrender means to:

* Not OBSESS

* Not WORRY

* Not BE AFRAID

* Not PUSH TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN

* Not be ANGRY WHEN IT DOESN’T GO MY WAY

* Not try to FIGURE IT ALL OUT

* Not question GOD’S TIMING OR PLAN

Surrender means to:

* I TRUST

* I ALLOW

* I LET GO

* I CHOOSE LOVE

* I RELAX

* I LISTEN

* I ACCEPT WHAT IS

* I PRACTICE GRATITUDE

* I LIVE IN THE PRESENT MOMENT

* i LET GO OF OUTCOME

When I let go and get out of the way, Spirit guides me to the next right action. Are you surrendered and trusting or are you trying to control the outcome?

I had to WAIT until I was ready

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May
5

I have been religiously counting the weeks before our wedding on May 13th. After I got over the initial shock that I had somehow “LOST” a week and had only 2 more weeks left for our upcoming wedding, instead of 3, I made a decision (after I freaked out) that what was most important to me was that I be peaceful and be present to the moment.

As I have shared in past blogs, I am very organized and had everything “under control” because I wanted to enjoy the weeks before our wedding. I wanted to be relaxed and enjoy our sacred ceremony and reception. I am making all of the flower arrangements and my bouquet because I want to, but it takes a lot of work and time. There is a lot of planning that needs to be done in the last few days and I need to be on my game and not be stressed out. Thank God, I have wonderful friends who have offered to help. I couldn’t do it without them.

If I want to remain peaceful and present there are a few things that I must remember and PRACTICE or I will be a crazy lady! I know how I can get and so does Larry! I don’t have to do everything perfectly, but I will do my BEST and that will be ENOUGH.

• I will choose love and peace instead of fear and worry, knowing all is already planned in the mind of God.
• I will accept “what is” and go with the flow if something doesn’t go the way I planned it.
• I will let go of control and TRUST everything is happening for my highest good.
• I will ask for help and receive it graciously.
• I will allow Spirit to lead the way and turn my will over on a daily basis.
• I will RELAX, have fun and enjoy each moment.
• I will let go of my perfectionism and attachments.
• I will not worry about what others think of me as it is none of my business.
• I will be grateful and SURRENDER to whatever shows up.
• I will not push or force myself to do anything that doesn’t feel right.
• I will take time to pray, meditate and rest when I need to.
• I will listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit, ask for guidance and follow-through.

I will remember what is important: God and I are ONE. All the “trappings” (flowers, decorations, dress are NOTHING). All that is real is LOVE and the present moment. Everything else is a dream and an illusion.

Many years ago while I was waiting for my soul mate to “show up”, I asked God, “What is wrong with me? Why haven’t I met my soul mate yet?”

Shortly after that I received an email from a friend. This is part of what it said:

“But God said: not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone. I love you my child and until you discover that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the PERFECT RELATIONSHIP that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of any other longings or desires. I want you to stop wishing, planning and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the BEST. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching, learning and listening to the things I tell you. YOU MUST WAIT. Do not be anxious or worried. You must keep looking within to me or you will miss what I want to show you. And then you will be READY.

I WILL SURPRISE YOU WITH A LOVE THAT IS FAR MORE WONDERFUL THAN YOU COULD EVER DREAM OF.

God is faithful and my dream has come true. Thank you for making me READY! Waiting for 15 years for Larry has not been easy, but it has been worth the wait. Truly, I have been surprised with a LOVE that is far more wonderful than I could have ever imagined. My heart is full of gratitude for all Spirit has done in my life and it continues to get better and better.

We got “kicked out” of the Four Seasons Hotel

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Feb
12

“Acceptance is the answer to all of my problems. If I cannot accept every person, place and thing as exactly as it is, I will not have peace.” paraphrased from AA Big Book.  Acceptance is about letting go and trusting God.

I had the opportunity to practice accepting “what is” this week and saw powerful results. It could have easily turned out to be a negative event, but instead turned out to be glorious and better than I had ever expected.

For Christmas my friend Kati and I bought tickets for a ferry boat ride to the island of Lanai. Lanai is a small quaint island which is only 1 hour away from Maui by ferry. We both love the ocean and were excited as we anticipated watching the whales jumping out of the water as we crossed the ocean to Lanai. We planned our trip for after Christmas.

The day began at 7:30 a.m. with the sun shining brightly. We arrived on time to take the 9:15 a.m. ferry and our return ferry was scheduled for 4:30 p.m.  We decided to count the miracles as they happened during the day. The ferry ride over to Lanai was fun as we chatted with interesting people and watched the whales jumping out of the water in front of us.

When we arrived in Lanai and walked to the Four Seasons hotel from the ferry, we were surprised to see construction going on at the hotel and it was quite noisy-not what we were expecting. “Our plan” was to take the free shuttle into Lanai City to have lunch, shop and walk around to see the sights and then come back and swim in the Four Seasons pool. When we asked the man at the desk, “When is the shuttle leaving?” He said, “There aren’t any shuttles until late this afternoon, but I would be happy to call you a taxi. “How much does the taxi cost?” I asked. He said, “It costs $10 per person each way.”  Kati and I just looked at one another and said, “No way.” This was only a short ride to Lanai City and we didn’t want to pay that kind of money. Kati said, “Well, we can just stick around the lobby and see if we can catch a ride with someone going into Lanai City.”  I answered, “Yes, that sounds like a great idea and I am up for an adventure.”

After ½ hour of waiting and praying for direction, we realized “our plan” wasn’t working and we needed to go back to the drawing board and decide what we wanted to do next. Although we each expressed our disappointment with how the day was going so far, we both agreed to accept “what is” and not complain. It was getting close to lunch time and we were getting hungry so instead of going into Lanai City, we decided to have lunch at the hotel and then spend a leisurely afternoon at the pool.

As the waitress led us to our table, we felt like “queens” and were thrilled to be seated at a table overlooking the ocean. We ordered our food and were sitting quietly when all of a sudden we noticed some activity in the ocean that didn’t look like whales. As we looked closer, we realized it was dolphins playing and jumping out of the water right in front of us. We were amazed because there had to be hundreds of dolphins giving us a spectacular show that lasted for over an hour. Kati and I just looked at one other with such gratitude in our hearts because if we had gone into Lanai City as we planned we would have missed this amazing gift of nature.

We finished our lunch and shared a delicious chocolate dessert together. We were now ready to relax and go for a swim in the beautiful pool. We found two lounge chairs with umbrellas to keep us cool. When the attendant brought us over our towels, he asked, “What is your name?” Not expecting any problems because we have been enjoying Maui’s pools since we have been here, I smiled and said, “Hastings.” He then said, “Are you staying at the hotel because the pool is only for guests.” Kati said, “No, but we just spent a lot of money for lunch at the hotel and we thought it would be o.k. to swim in the pool.”  Wrong, we were told that we had to leave NOW.

Can you see it? The “queens” were being kicked out of the Four Seasons hotel because we weren’t guests. We felt indignant at first because this had never happened to us before (perhaps a bit of denial on our part.) He took our towels back as we dried off and walked away.

We were being offered another opportunity to accept “what is” and change directions. We decided to take an earlier ferry back to Maui which we thought was leaving at 2:30 p.m. We walked back to the ferry and were shocked when there was no ferry waiting for us. It had left at 2:00 p.m. and we now had 2 ½ hours with nothing to do.

This was getting more difficult to accept “what is” but we knew it was another opportunity to stay in gratitude and not complain. Kati looked on the ground and found a penny and then another penny and then a dime. We laughed and said, “We are rich because we are receiving pennies from heaven.”

Then the miracle happened. We turned around and noticed a shady area with trees and colored chairs that looked very inviting. We quickly made our way to the chairs and “bumped” into the Captain of the Triology. The Triology is considered one of Maui’s best snorkeling boats. As we chatted with Captain Ryan and told him our plight of missing the ferry back and being kicked out of the Four Seasons, he smiled and said, “Would you like to come back on the Trilogy with us?” Not only did we travel in style, but we were invited to have supper with the folks on the boat and were served free drinks and ice-cream Sundays. And the whales and dolphins were incredible. How much better can it get than this? Here are the lessons we learned:

1. We kept laughing and going within to ask Spirit to lead and guide us.
2. We were willing to change directions, change our perspective, be flexible, go with the flow and not push “Our plan.” We knew there was a “Divine Plan” that was unfolding.
3. We allowed ourselves to feel the disappointment and then let it go.
4. We chose not to complain, to stay in gratitude and accept “What is.”
5. We asked for what we wanted and were willing to receive.
6. We knew that when we missed the ferry, there would be a better opportunity for us and there was- the Trilogy.
7. We asked to be aware of miracles and expected miracles before we started the day..

When we change our perspective, stay positive and trust, the Universe mirrors back to us what is inside of us. What if everything that looks negative or not what we want can be turned around for our good? What looks like a setback can actually be a set up by God.