When I’m aligned with Spirit, trust God is leading me, I have the confidence to move forward not in fear, but with an attitude of gratitude.
I like to think of it as my inner GPS like I have in my car when the voice says, “Recalculate. You are going in the wrong direction.” I have had many detours in my life, as well as open and closed doors. I’ve been redirected for my highest good, although it may not have felt that way in the moment. I probably don’t understand what’s going on and may feel fear, disappointment or anger. It’s usually comes from the attitude of “I want what I want when I want it and I want it now.” Can you relate?
Alan Cohen writes in his book, Dare to Be Yourself, “Disappointments are the hooks upon which God hangs his victories. There is a way to deal with disappointments that can make you a winner. Remove the D and replace it with H. Thus, disappointment becomes “HISAPPOINTMENT. In other words, remove the incident from the projections of your expectations and imagine that God has caused the situation to turn out this way because He has a bigger and better plan than the one you formulated. Our idea of the way things should be pales in the face of God’s vision for how good it can and will be.”
We’ve all had experiences of being disappointed when things don’t go the way we thought they were going to go. We need to know how to work through the disappointment and not “stay stuck” or resentful because things didn’t go the way we wanted or expected them to go. It is an opportunity to trust God that whatever is happening is for our highest good.
How easy it was to beat up on myself when I thought I made a mistake, even though I know there are no mistakes when God is my PILOT. I’ve learned to be compassionate with myself, to accept “what is” and trust the process. It never fails!
Spirit brought to mind what happened over nine years ago when I went to the airport a day early. It was the beginning of BIG CHANGES in my life. My brother had dropped me off at the airport and I needed to get back home that day as I had an event planned the next day.
When I went to sign in and the airline attendant said, “Your flight is scheduled for tomorrow” I was shocked and disappointed at first. I CHOSE not to beat up on myself, but to stay in gratitude and figure out what my next step was. I had to buy a new ticket and the attendant advised me to go to another airline that had better prices, which I did.
As I walked to the new terminal after buying my ticket with an “attitude of gratitude,” a young man in a booth motioned to me to come over. Since I had a few hours to kill and nothing to do, I walked over.
I ended up signing up for a United credit card and received a free round- trip ticket to anywhere in the US. Not a bad deal! A week later. I met my “Angel” Ellen after I finished my talk at the church. When she told me she lived on Maui, I said, “It’s always been my dream to visit Hawaii.” She said, “You can stay with me and use my car for as long as you want.” I couldn’t pass it up since I had a free place to stay and a free plane ticket.
The rest is history. I visited Ellen for 2 weeks and fell in LOVE with Maui. Maui welcomed me with open arms and the next thing I knew I was leaving family, friends and my business to move permanently to Maui. Today. I live in a beautiful home overlooking the ocean with my beloved, Larry
It all started with what could have looked like a mistake by going to the airport on the wrong day. I am so grateful for my inner GPS that always guides me and redirects/recalculates my path when it’s for my highest good. God is good!
In Alan Cohen’s book, “Wisdom of the Heart” he writes, “It’s my own love I want, so why confuse it with seeking it from another? When you honor and nurture yourself, your happiness will proceed from within you and you won’t have to depend on another for it. As you give yourself more love, your relationships will change and reflect yourself-honoring. Another person isn’t the source of your love, you are. True love is an inside job.”
I bought a book at a yard sale called, “Madly in Love with ME” by Christine Arylo. I liked the title and was familiar with the author. In each of the chapters, she gives you a list of questions to help you discover how well you are doing on your self-love journey. I scored pretty high and was happy to see that I am on the right path of giving myself self-love.
I am grateful that Spirit always brings to light what is hidden in me so it can be transformed. It could be old beliefs that no longer serve me and will hurt and hinder by spiritual growth.
One of the ways I give myself self-love is to pay attention to my moods, attitudes and feelings. When something is “stirring inside” and just doesn’t feel right, I pray and meditate and ask God for guidance. As I wait and listen, it always becomes clear what needs to change. I often discover it is my ego wanting to cause trouble and unrest in my soul. I know that once the ego is identified, it loses its power. It always helps me to talk about it with someone I love and trust.
As I’ve mentioned in past blogs, being in a relationship will often bring to light “my stuff”. I was given several opportunities to see my stuff this week. Although it always surprises me when I discover an old belief that is still alive and well in my unconscious, I am grateful how quickly I am able to recognize it.
Rather than beat up on myself like I did for so many years when I discovered something about myself or an old belief that was still playing in my head that I didn’t like, I have learned to be gentle, kind and loving toward myself. I forgave myself and didn’t judge myself. It really feels good when I give myself the unconditional love that I would give to one of my children or to a friend when they were hurting.
Without going into all of the details, Spirit revealed to me how I was giving my power away in a couple of areas of my life. Looking outside for validation and approval is always harmful because it is never enough. It is my own validation and approval that I am seeking. Here is what was revealed by Spirit:
- It is not always about me or something I have done wrong when someone doesn’t respond in the way I would like them to. For example, if I am ignored or someone doesn’t answer an email or phone call, it often has nothing to do with me. In other words, “Don’t take things personal.”
- I was looking to Larry to validate my “dancing skills” (giving my power away) Instead, I am validating my own skills and they are “good enough.”
- I don’t have to BE the best – I just have to DO my best and trust that is enough.
When I changed my beliefs and gave myself the validation and love that I needed, everything shifted. It didn’t matter what Larry thought about my dancing, it was what I thought that was important. And the best part was that my dancing improved.
The other day I offered a friend the gift of my time. My friend declined and we agreed that perhaps another time would be more convenient. Later that day Pat asked me, “How do you feel about your friend declining your gift?” I replied, “I’m fine with the decision my friend made not to accept my offer. Actually, I feel happy that our friendship is such that my friend feels comfortable to refuse a visit and knows there will be no ill feelings on my part.”
I proceeded to share with Pat an experience I had many years ago that taught me a very important lesson about giving with “no strings attached.” Pat asked me to share this story in the blog. I was reluctant to do so at first since I am a very private person and don’t like to bring attention to myself. Pat suggested to me that the lessons I learned in this experience could be beneficial to others, so here it is.
I worked in a soup kitchen in Hartford, CT. 30 years ago one day a week. We provided and cooked meals for around 100 people. One evening in February on a snowy subzero night, I noticed one of the men had come into the building with just a light sweater on. He was wet, shivering and looked like he was on his last legs. I couldn’t believe he was out in these winter elements without a coat or jacket.
I had worn my favorite winter parka which I loved because it was the warmest parka I had ever owned. After noticing this man I just couldn’t let him to go out again at night without a jacket, so I gave him my winter parka. He was very thankful and appreciative.
About a half hour later, I saw this man wearing an old ratty jacket and the parka I had given him was gone. I couldn’t believe it! I felt terrible and betrayed. I thought, “What’s the matter with him? Is he crazy? I gave my beautiful new parka away for nothing.”
From my prospective, he had traded it and made a very poor bargain.
Later in the evening while I was thinking about this experience, I asked myself some serious questions about my giving practices.
- Did I not give this person a gift?
- Did it have strings attached?
- Do I give gifts with expectations?
- Was he to use my gift according to my wishes and ideas?
- If I “gave” him the parka then he could do what he wanted to do with it.
- It is no longer mine, it’s gone, out of my life.
One of the gifts I received was that I was able to be compassionate, generous and loving to a person I didn’t even know and give him something that was very important to me to make his life a little better.
The other lesson I learned and haven’t forgotten 30 years later is that when I give a gift, there are no expectations or strings attached. My joy is in the giving and you receiving. Thank you for taking the time to read our blog,
Alan Cohen in his book, “Wisdom of the Heart” writes “You can have it all. The Universe is capable of answering your every prayer. To RECEIVE your blessings, you must be willing to invest in them. Your most powerful investment is YOURSELF.“
My son, Tim, writes in his online program Finally Finding the ONE “So many of us are looking for The ONE “out there.” The truth is that YOU are the ONE. We will always attract what and who we are inside of ourselves. We attract our reflection. We often want to change our external selves believing that will bring The ONE into our lives. However, it will just bring someone into our lives that will meet out external selves. Our ego-self. The core of all our challenges is an insufficient amount of self-acceptance, appreciation and love. Truly loving ourselves is what resolves all of our insecurities. And our insecurities are what create the bulk of challenges in our relationships. We’re either consciously or unconsciously afraid of being hurt so we create barriers and sabotaging patterns that keep us stuck. When we love ourselves unconditionally, we do two things: 1- We stop responding from fear and protection in our relationships. 2- We stop attracting partners who are operating from fear too.”
As I thought about what Tim wrote and my journey of 15 years of trusting and believing that I would meet my soul mate, I realized that indeed I had learned to love, accept and appreciate myself. I had found the ONE and that ONE was ME. In my book, “Simply a Woman of Faith” I wrote “I have experienced deep inner healing and personal growth in the process of waiting, as well as a deeper relationship with God and a stronger faith. I depend on God for everything and know that He is the source of all of my needs.”
Here is a letter I wrote to myself ( which is in my book) from God before my book was published.
“Dear Patricia, Be at peace, be at peace, trust, trust. Beyond your wildest dreams will your soul mate come into your life. He will come to you. You don’t have to do anything, but just BE. Learn to love yourself compassionately. You are beautiful, cherished and loved. All is well and on time. Practice being in the moment. Let Joy exude from you. It is your Joy that will draw your soul mate to you. I give you the gift of Joy this day.”
For many years growing up my father’s words to me was FIND YOURSELF. Of course, as a young girl I had no idea what that meant and I am not sure he knew what it meant either. I don’t believe he ever found himself, but was probably searching for himself as I searched for myself for so many years.
I have expanded it to FIND YOURSELF, KNOW YOURSELF AND BE YOURSELF. What a powerful process of discovering, and recovering my true self/ God self/Divine self. I was willing to do the work of forgiveness and transformation. It was not always easy and I often felt impatient and discouraged because I wanted it my way. I didn’t want to wait 15 years to attract my soul mate into my life. I had to let go and surrender MY PLAN and trust GOD’S PLAN for my life. Surrendering and trusting means giving up attachments to RESULTS. When we have an attachment to results, we have a hard time giving up control and waiting.
I am so grateful that I had the grace to let go, trust and surrender MY PLAN because as Alan Cohen writes,“You can have it all. The Universe is capable of answering your every prayer.” God has truly answered my prayers and I HAVE IT ALL. I have a relationship with the ONE and that is ME and I have a relationship with my soul mate, LARRY. I continually strive to KNOW and BE myself.
I am sure we have all heard what we see in others is a part of us both the light and the darkness. I have attracted into my life what was inside of me as Larry is my reflection. I SEE his kindness, generosity, gentleness, loving, friendliness, caring, sensitivity, honesty, authenticity, faithfulness, openness, flexibility and his desire to be a VESSEL OF LOVE. After I read the list of qualities to Larry, I asked him, “Do you see these qualities in yourself?” He said, “Well, I see them in YOU so they must be in ME.” He laughed and said, “Would you please write them on the wall so I can see them every day to remind myself?”
I asked myself, “Do I see these qualities in myself and am I willing to embrace them as mine? I can truthfully say YES I see these qualities in myself. It has taken me years to FIND MYSELF and embrace these qualities.
I am also able to recognize what I don’t like in myself in Larry. When I recognize something in Larry that I don’t like, it is an opportunity for me to look more deeply into my heart and what I need to love and accept in me. This is not always easy to do. For example: he likes to tell me what to do sometimes and I feel irritated. The truth is that I like to tell him what to do sometimes too when my mouth is ready to give him advice. We are both learning to respect and honor one another and ourselves one day at a time.
When Pat and I became friends, she noticed early on that I had difficulty accepting praise or compliments. As we got to know each other better, she recognized that in some ways I had a problem loving myself. She helped me to realize that I had some very good qualities and she has always been free with her compliments and support. She suggested that it was not being conceited or selfish to claim them for myself. I think I’ve come a long way and I’m in a much better place now than I was then. When I read those wonderful words she expressed about me in this blog I still feel a bit guilty and wonder how I’m going to live up to them. I still have work to do in that area and others but I realize it’s not a quick fix and I’m loving myself better all the time. I feel the energy and light of love in my life and my tank is full.
I was thinking, when our vehicles get low on fuel we go to the gas station and fill our tanks. When our love tanks are low or empty it could be a sign that we don’t love ourselves enough. Maybe we’ve been under too much stress lately or working long hours or have gone through a difficult experience. Is it time for a “LOVE CHECK?” It sounds like your battery is low and your love tank is empty. It could be time to take some love time for you. Do something fun, spend some quality time with loved ones or perhaps just get some rest.
When my love tank is full and I am loving myself, I am able to share that love with others by offering acts of kindness and support. When I am kind or loving to another person, I contribute to filling their love tank and my love tank also benefits from that experience.
Recently a friend of ours crossed over to the other side to continue his journey via a new adventure. We attended a beautiful celebration of life in his honor. During the ceremony, guests were given the opportunity to share experiences they had with him. The contributions consisted of experiences of love and kindness that friends remembered about him that touched their hearts. These are experiences they will remember whenever his name comes to mind.
I endeavor (I believe we all do) to be a loving and caring soul. Many times I know I come up short. I have a tendency to remember those times more than the times I succeed. I know my friend was a loving person who touched many souls in a loving way, but like the rest of us, I’m sure he had some regrets.
What is amazing is that when we think of someone who has left this reality we don’t usually dwell on our disappointments in them. Instead, we have a tendency to remember and share the kindness and love experiences that touched our lives from knowing them. I think that’s a wonderful human trait. Many times the memories we have of someone are the little experiences that are remembered. Isn’t it wonderful to know how much small kindnesses make a difference in our lives. In most cases they can brighten our day, lift our spirits and warm our hearts.
Perhaps it’s time to realize that loving one another reminds us that we are all connected. The one common thread that connects us is the energy and light of love. Yes, we are all different in some ways and sometimes we say and do things that hurt each other. We are not perfect. I don’t believe perfection is what it’s all about. Love will show us how to forgive, heal and move on. I believe life’s purpose is to learn how to love ourselves so we can become vessels of love. I invite you on this journey and together we can overcome our differences and walk this journey of love together.
My portion of the blog was completed and ready to be edited. I wasn’t feeling comfortable and wondered if Spirit wanted me to write about something different. I remember thinking to myself; I don’t have anything else significant to write about until my experience with Larry this morning.
A few months ago a good friend of mine, Donna, asked, “Do you and Larry ever argue?” I said, “No, we hardly ever argue. We are both pretty easy going and don’t let things bother us.”
I planned on attending a water aerobics class this morning and was running late. I had finished my breakfast while Larry was still making his. I put the dishes in the sink and since I was late turned to him and said, “Do you mind doing these dishes for me since I am running late? “I don’t like to leave my dishes in the sink for him to wash, but I didn’t think he would mind since he would have to do his when he was through with his breakfast. He didn’t say anything to me but the LOOK was enough to communicate to me that he wasn’t very pleased about it. He then said, “I don’t want this to become a habit when you are running late.”
I REACTED in a huff and said, “Never mind, I will do them myself.” I was ticked! I gathered my stuff up and said, “I love you, goodbye.” I could feel the tears already welling up in my eyes. I got in the car and felt the hurt as the tears rolled down my cheeks. Hurt was always easier to feel than my anger. I was taught not to feel angry so I pushed my anger down until it erupted, and often then came out sideways and at the wrong person.
Instead of staying stuck in the HURT feeling and crying, I allowed myself to really feel my anger. Being in the car is a great place to release anger because no one hears you and you can say anything you want. I let it rip and felt better afterwards. I want my vibration to be as high as it can be and I know anger and resentment lowers my vibration. Love and joy are the highest vibration and that is where I strive to be.
I am no longer willing to do a SPIRITUAL BYPASS and push my feelings down. Giving myself permission to feel my anger and get my feelings up and out is a gift I give to myself and ultimately to the relationship. Whenever we want to “override” our feelings because they are uncomfortable and go right to love, we are trying to do a SPIRITUAL BYPASS. It doesn’t work.
By the time I arrived at my water aerobics class, I felt almost peaceful and was able to send Larry love. It was pretty amazing how quickly I was able to work through it. After class I took a long walk along the ocean and did what gives me pleasure – smiling and saying hello to people I pass on the path. I then had my car washed which made me feel really good.
I greeted Larry with a hug when I returned home from class. After I was home a little bit I said, “We need to talk about this morning,” He agreed. As we sat down to talk, he crossed his arms across his chest and quickly realized what his body language was communicating to me and we both laughed.
We both shared our perspectives of what happened that morning, which of course, was very different. He was feeling upset because he didn’t want to be taken advantage of. His perspective was that I often leave my dishes in the sink and my perspective was I hardly ever leave them in the sink. During our conversation and listening to one another, we were able to identify some old patterns that were being triggered from past relationships.
After some time of communicating with one another, we were able to work out a plan that was satisfactory to both of us. We both felt respected, loved and heard. What could have become a big struggle, turned out really well. This is a little thing but we wanted to take care of it before it became a big thing.
On one of Eckhart Tolle’s CDs (The New Earth) he talks about how all of nature is alive and connected. How everything and everyone is all part of one consciousness. He also suggests that nature doesn’t realize how beautiful it is and how much it contributes to our joy and happiness until we communicate that.
I thought that was an interesting observation, I had never realized that nature wouldn’t automatically know the effect it had on the whole. It appears that the sky, sun, mountains, oceans, trees, flowers and birds and all of nature need our recognition to understand that they are awesome, appreciated and beautiful. They need to know that we are awestruck by their vastness and beauty, that just being near them and experiencing their fragrance and color fill our spirits and hearts with joy and happiness.
We live in one of the most beautiful places on earth. How often do we rush around all day, pass by all this natural beauty and not recognize it? Doing this is such a disservice to us and nature. How much joy, happiness and love energy can we receive from just noticing the beauty of a flower? “Wow” what about the incredibly beautiful sunsets we experience daily on Maui. They don’t know they are beautiful until we tell them so and share with them the joy and happiness we experience every time they appear.
I walk three miles most mornings just before the sun breaks over the mountains. Everything seems fresh and new, nature waking up to a great new day. The birds chatter deliriously at the prospect of a new day and a new adventure. I try to take everything in: and tell the flowers that they are beautiful and that they fill my heart with joy and gratitude.
Have you ever wondered how many people we meet each day or walk by, who may need just a little recognition and appreciation? My daily walks use to take me through one of our beautiful parks. Most days I would see the same homeless person sitting on the grass near the walkway. I would greet him and sometimes stop and chat with him. One day, I commented that he had a discovered a great place to sit near the ocean. He commented, “Ya I like it here. A lot of people walk by and some even say hi or good morning.” I thought, “Hmmm it’s so important for all of us to be recognized and appreciated.”
How often do we express our love and appreciation for our family members? We get caught up in the daily grind of making a living, providing for our family, raising children, etc. Some parents may think, “Hey! How about a little recognition and appreciation for all we do around here.” Some children may think “We work hard in school to get good grades and be good students. We could use a little recognition and appreciation also.” A few moments of love and appreciation go a long way.
Pat and I have a really wonderful relationship and we realize how important it is to recognize and appreciate each other. Mostly in little ways like thanking each other when we do a chore without having to be asked or making the bed or washing the dishes or making lunch or dinner. A simple recognition and “thank you” goes a long way!
We appreciate one another when we show interest in each other’s day and really listen when one of us is sharing about something that is important to them. We communicate our love for one another at different times during the day when you would perhaps least expect it. We say things like “I love you” or “I think you have beautiful blue eyes” or “You look beautiful tonight.” Pat loves little gifts or flowers and cards. I try to pay attention to that.
What if we changed our attitude from one who needs to be served, to one who will look for ways to be a vessel of love and serve? Do you ever think of saying good morning or hi or aloha to someone you don’t know? It may be the only time that day the person will be recognized and appreciated as an individual.
On Maui, we have so many people in the service industry. Perhaps taking an extra couple of seconds to recognize them (most have name tags) by saying “hi” use their names, saying “thank you” use their names. They are not robots; they are real people with hearts and souls. Remember we are all one and we are all connected.
I have made it my practice to recognize and greet every person I meet. I feel it is an important way to be a vessel of love. Some return my greeting and some do not, no worries. I have offered them the gift of love and they can either accept it or refuse it. Not my problem. My responsibility is to offer the gift with no strings attached.
I encourage everyone to find little ways to recognize and appreciate each other. I think when we do that we give the energy and light of love a chance to manifest in all our lives.
A few days ago I read in one of my spiritual books that “anything that makes us anxious is a growth opportunity.” I didn’t know why I wrote it down in my journal, because I don’t consider myself an anxious person, but I did. I believe that everything we attract into our lives is for our highest good and there is always a gift for us when we are open to receive it. I also believe that everything has a purpose and serves us.
This morning I woke up “anxious” and worried about a person I loved. I then remembered writing about anxiety in my journal. I asked myself, “How is this anxiety a growth opportunity?” Could it be that I needed to explore some beliefs that no longer served me? Was it an opportunity to heal something from my past that was coming up in the present? When I am anxious, I am focusing on the “visible world” and leaving God out of the picture. Was it a reminder that there is only NOW, no past or future to dwell on and to fix my eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen? It is in the present moment that I experience the Divine.
As I prayed and meditated about it, I recognized that the situation I was anxious about with the person I loved was being triggered by an experience that I had when I was 22 years old. I was naïve and didn’t know what I know today. Of course, I wanted to protect my loved one and spare them unnecessary pain. I didn’t want what happened to me to happen to the person I loved.
Could it be that I’ve traveled that road and remembered the pain and suffering that it caused in my own life? Alan Cohen, in his book, “Wisdom of the Heart” writes “Every thought is a prayer. WORRY is a form of prayer. It is the form most practiced by most people.” I know that worry is an illusion and robs me of my peace of mind. Worrying about someone doesn’t help me or the other person I am concerned about. It just lowers my vibration.
What happens to you when you think someone you care about and love may be going down a slippery road that could be harmful to them? Do you try to control them and make them see the (YOUR) light? Do you nag them to change their ways? Do you worry and obsess and make yourself sick?
I reminded myself that I am not responsible for another person’s choices and paths they travel. What another person does or doesn’t do is really none of my business. It may be exactly what they need to learn their lessons that will help them grow and expand. I had already been honest and shared my concerns and experience with the person I loved.
Here was the opportunity for me to grow. This is what I did to maintain my PEACE OF MIND:
* I let go of my worry and anxiety and refused to worry. This is the gift I gave myself.
* I trusted God that everything was in the perfect and right order.
* I let go of my control, of thinking I had the answers for the person I loved.
* I detached with love.
* I prayed and sent love and light.
* I trusted they would make the right choices for their life.
When I finished my prayer and meditation, I felt completely peaceful.
I woke up one morning at 4:30 a.m. with this scripture passage running through my head and I couldn’t get back to sleep until I wrote down my thoughts. The passage was “Unless you are like little children you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.”
What is a little child like? A little child is innocent, trusting, playful, vulnerable and completely open to copious amounts of love. They don’t ask for it, they expect it. I think that it is probably because that’s the way it was where they came from.
I think Spirit is reminding us that we can experience the kingdom of heaven right here and NOW. When we choose to be like little children again; to be open, to trust, to expect love to shower us with its gifts of energy and light, then we can be transported to total love consciousness
I asked myself, “What is keeping me from receiving this incredible love energy that is being freely offered to me?” Like a little child, I am learning to be more TRUSTING and let go of what CONTROL I think I have over my life. When an opportunity arises that appears to be difficult, I am learning to LET GO of panic and concern and just be open to love’s energy in the moment.
What works best for me is to remind myself to live in the NOW, one moment at a time. This worked well for me when we arrived in Sydney, Australia to find out the hotel we had reserved was non-existent and later the taxi we reserved to take us to the airport never showed up. I didn’t panic. Instead, I TRUSTED that things would work out for us and they did.
We can choose to remove all barriers and obstacles we’ve placed between us and love. We need to stand naked and innocent before God and allow love to transform us from fear to complete openness and trust.
Hopefully, we will become completely love conscious and realize that the kingdom of heaven is upon us, always has been, always will be. Have you ever wondered if perhaps heaven is not a place up above but is a consciousness realized through love, a consciousness we were born from and a consciousness we will return to when our earthly journey is finished.
I am dedicated to walking the rest my journey with love consciousness and invite all to do the same.
In his book, “Wisdom of the Heart,” Alan Cohen writes, “Children are magnificent teachers because they live in innocence. All of us are born in simplicity, but then we learn complexity. By watching children, we can reclaim the innocence we gave away. Kids live in the moment, play frequently, let their imaginations soar, ask for what they want, let their emotions rise and fall, laugh often, have no sense of shame, don’t believe that they have to earn their good, and don’t fear death. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. To do so, simply drop what you have been taught and remember what you know.”
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Simply A Woman of Faith
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